Mai uses her plié to come into relevé, her toes in grande pointe. She feels the sheen of sweat on her neck, even as she holds it high, trying to embody the grace of a swan.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnwziGT0s2w
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaDskAUqpSp
Her execution is perfect, her expression is perfect. She shows no outward signs of her toes screaming in pain, even as she feels the telltale wet warmth in her shoes.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7qdngJjs7Z
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJKrcG8IVet
Her face remains serene.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWpRjZvMQmD
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPkcCdFY2vd
A memory comes to her mind—Megumi-chan as a baby curled in Dad’s arms. She was born too early. She was sick. Her heart wasn’t strong enough. She wasn’t expected to live past a couple of years, even with all the 23rd century medical technology.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6VJ6KzdqYe
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjyq7sBCj3L
Mai feels her expression falter and quickly snaps it back into place, coming into the present and leaving behind a past she can’t change. When she dances, she has utter control over every part of her body. It’s the only time her life feels like it’s truly her own.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQr2num1mSd
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZJYFCpFhQS
The audience is packed. Flashes burst from the auditorium before her life dramatically dying stars. Fourteen years and five auditions. All the sacrifices she’s made, and all the hours she’s put in. Mai didn’t go to prom or Homecoming or any other normal high school event. And it was all in preparation for today.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdFTMq3310l
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaAWiNMylxC
This should have been her beginning.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYYuZpgBIwl
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXa8QyZhxQ1
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Megumi realizes she’s wrinkling the program between her fingers and quickly tries to smooth it out, running her finger along Mai’s name.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO6KdraQrsC
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQdAggEWe1n
She tries not to fidget, even though her mind wandered off at least an hour ago. She’s in Hawaii, hiking up the side of a volcano, the blackened lava rocks warm beneath her sneakers. The air is choked with steam and the odor of sulfur.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ87ZIgwTBK8
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHUEWqGKJ4G
From there, she makes her way down a white beach sand. The soft, wed sand sinks under her feet. Warm and gentle waves lap across her skin, leaving behind patterns of salt and sand. She can feel the warmth of the sea breeze that makes the palm trees dance, and she can taste the tang of the air.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ21t5ydgoxP
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBKN6qhaOs2
Her guidebooks are at home, filled with annotations of everything she can’t leave Hawaii without seeing. Megumi wishes she brought one of them along, but immediately feels guilty. She should be watching Mai right now. Mai’s dream is ending because of Megumi.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCiNTHUjLgP
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxLBYp36UIz
A sharp ache in her chest makes her flinch. She rubs at it surreptitiously at her chest. When she’s certain her parents are focused completely on Mai, she pulls a pill out of her pocket—hiding it in her palm—and slides it into her mouth.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5oKxjmNgG7
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuskb54jxzH
Mom’s gaze snaps to her immediately. She starts leaning in toward Megumi.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzxadAUXUTV
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkBlltD8SsV
“I’m fine,” Megumi says, a little too sharply. She softens her voice. “Let’s just watch Mai, okay?”923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqAhOworp5F
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvZ6O8Ij46X
Her mom takes her hand but turns forward to watch the performance again.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbDH8Y5Ofy4
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP9udQchHKk
Megumi watches too, keeping her eyes on her sister rather than on the other dancers. Although Megumi can’t even do the same hike twice, Mai is the type who can do the same step one thousand times over until she knows it perfectly, even if that means breaking her toes in the process.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlRA1iklO1B
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzRhk80Z0gb
Megumi knows the heart is just an organ, and she knows living heart donations are common in this century, but Megumi can’t help but wonder. She wonders if the piece of heart she’s being gifted will change her in any way or if she’ll still be one hundred percent Megumi.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC8Ig0phm3h
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After the performance, Mai sits on a bench in the dressing room, staring at the ballet slippers encasing her feet. She can’t bring herself to take them off just yet. She wants to wait at least until the other dancers are gone.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUTm6gkzVob
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrLIp3g5bUa
Once the last of the voices fades away, she begins to unlace her slippers slowly and ceremoniously, letting them fall off her feet—her feet that are so calloused and bruised and broken that it’s a wonder they’re each still in one piece. She cleans the blood off carefully, loving her mangled feet for persevering through the torture she’s subjected them to. They are her pride and her prize, proof of the work she’s done.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOuGIvJ1kC2
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5szx7M2Exm
Her heart aches, the pain so real she wonders for a second if something might be wrong with her heart too. But, no. Her heart just knows it’s about to be broken—split in half and taken from her.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡluPJupwvmT
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6QPj8deBnn
Mai isn’t upset about that. How can she be? Megumi-chan’s life is far more important than anything else.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOWPxcuAvjJ
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2tyD9yjpdX
Still, she selfishly wishes a miracle would happen—Megumi-chan’s heart would magically heal or an even better donor match would drop out of the sky. But Mai knows she’s the best option. Their parents are too old. It can only be a sibling, and Mai and Megumi-chan match almost perfectly.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw8SWfkUOJr
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡprE69lwz47
She wonders what it might have been like to live in a time when living heart donations weren’t possible.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNamTigq5iJ
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoh6vPqaLJc
“There you are,” Laurel says, sitting on the bench beside her. “That was fantastic, Mai. I could really only see room for improvement in a couple of places.”923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJa24PGMoA8
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYysA6dTPWr
Laurel goes on, and Mai lets her, barely hearing her words. Mai wants to say something about Laurel being the best dance coach ever, but thinks Laurel would find it weirdly sentimental. Mai hasn’t told anyone she won’t be able to dance anymore because she can’t let go of the selfish hope that something will save her and release her from this obligation.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgHUXc4dvTP
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7obvmsPjNr
And then she feels guilty for thinking of Megumi-chan as an obligation.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWuSuVHyPyQ
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGUYpqyhwne
When Laurel leaves, Mai pulls her knees to her chest until she feels turned inside out.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsspUPc1iBR
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg1TpSd5M0M
Her life until now has been a dream, and she’s being woken up.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfNhYV9jQyV
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“Are you scared?” Megumi asks Mai.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ19WQNkXGif
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbALNL8pmUZ
“No,” Mai says from the other bed. “Are you?”923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnqVJ0LrWT8
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ed1icFIXI
“Of course not,” Megumi lies.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGEX9fz9W0t
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She hears the steady beat of Mai’s heart monitor. Megumi’s own monitor beeps a little erratically as her weak heat tries to find a steady rhythm. She wonders what Mai is thinking right now—what she must be feeling.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ04Vc1rNW5P
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXt8CggIPHz
“Half a heart isn’t enough to support an athletic lifestyle,” Dr. Aguerra said seriously when he proposed the surgery to the family. “Mai, no one can coerce or pressure you into making this decision. If you agree to do it, you’ll undergo a psych evaluation to make sure this is your choice and your choice alone.”923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuR1DiBWDnh
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwkT9KUK6FL
Megumi was so tired at the time she could barely keep her eyes open. She let them fall shut because she didn’t want to see Mai’s expression as Mai said yes.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGgT4c1DPbF
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL79CEcXmeZ
“I’ll do it,” Mai said. “I don’t need to think about it.”923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyKsbUZSu1v
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8SwsCbfwgg
When they were kids, the two of them would go on adventures. It’s something Mai outgrew quickly, but Megumi still hasn’t. They found a treehouse in the woods behind their house once. Seeing it was abandoned, they decided it was theirs. Megumi would go there and wait for Mai to come home from dance practice.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk5SBRxzIjq
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡndRTr609iV
She was there one day, waiting for Mai, when the rotting wood collapsed beneath her, pitching her out of the treehouse. Mai arrived just in time to catch Megumi, breaking her arm in the process. She didn’t complain about it once, even when it meant she couldn’t dance for three weeks.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkmyqWXiygr
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHZjqHyiuOA
Megumi swallows the guilt and the fear that she’s being selfish.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡksAyfn1dBJ
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0OKZLzk8vi
Her weak heart manages to catch up to Mai’s heart—the one they’ll soon be sharing.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyJrEMHG6bq
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Mai has a moment of panic before the anesthesia is administered. She doesn’t think she can’t do this. It’s a nightmare, spilling into her lungs and suffocating her. She can’t stop dancing. She doesn’t know how to be a full person if she isn’t a dancer.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbrOQZPf32K
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNCzj2XIxbs
But then she looks at the black hair spilling over the side of the bed beside her. Megumi-chan is already under, maybe dream of everything she’ll do when she wakes up with a new heart. After all, half a functioning heart is better than a full non-functioning heart.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCxhcZguzqx
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgRbjsqRVR1
Mai tries to take her sister’s hand, but she can’t reach it.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd4H23rX9RZ
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She closes her eyes and opens them a moment later. At least it feels like a moment later. The soreness in her chest says otherwise. She feels in pieces. Her mind is still foggy from the anesthesia but the mental capacity that is still working tries to make sense of the changes she has to make to her life now.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyEJxP9zUQS
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs4diUgHG7e
Mai feels incomplete already, like she needs to undergo some sort of mental rehab to teach her to be a normal person without being a dancer. She is empty and devoid of purpose, wondering how people adapt to situations that turn their lives around completely.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgdRlaUtKgF
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV12ZXTbGxa
She supposes they do it out of necessity. Mai has made this choice, and although she doesn’t doubt it’s the right one, she has no idea how to come to terms with it.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVAJe4Yi2Bg
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The light is too bright when Megumi wakes up. Her eyes mist over, and she has to blink out the tears and let them adjust before taking stock of her surroundings. Oxygen is being fed to her through a mask. Needles thread her arms so she can barely move without tugging at one or another. She lifts her hand to her chest, feeling the uneven skin under her hospital gown. She hears the beep of a heart rate monitor—but just one.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH4yS3RYlmQ
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1yjxg7Gye4
Turning her head as much as she can, Megumi sees Mom right outside the open door. Mom’s face is buried in her hands, shoulders shaking.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRkyxt7k4OW
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Megumi is a bit more alert, her blood going cold. Did something go wrong with Mai?923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3EqoW0eYf9
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But she turns her head to the other side, and her sister is on her bed—at Megumi’s side as always. Mai is flipping through magazine sand eating chocolate pudding, but she exclaims when she sees Megumi awake.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡszCpJ1s4bp
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNpof99EJmr
“Are you okay? How do you feel?”923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCq4XEs7ygh
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqHYwRrBUNj
Megumi motions tiredly to the oxygen mask on her face. She feels lightheaded and tired, but her new heart feels strong. Even having just half of it feels so much better than her old heart.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPQidpa9jzs
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmzaZj8VfI7
That’s when she realizes there are two heart monitors after all. It’s just that both of them are beeping perfectly in sync.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnzh6thcSBi
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrpkNhsfBFZ
Dr. Aguerra comes in and checks on Megumi, finally taking off the oxygen mask.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMP9rkXMoSo
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCkofeOyY8n
“We just need to run a few tests,” he says. “We’ll take Mai out first. You just wait here and relax until we come and get you.”923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCeQpzCv0FH
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUdEJQbUL2l
He turns on the TV and hands her the remote after helping her sit up. Megumi thought she just wanted to sleep, but once she’s seated, she feels more awake.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ64XR4ED5Co
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDTPRTrDiXt
As they wheel Mai out, Megumi catches sight of her backpack on a chair in the corner of the room. The lace from Mai’s favorite ballet shoes hangs outside the zipper. Swallowing the ache, Megumi turns her gaze back to the TV. She isn’t really paying attention, though. She’s enjoying the feel of her new heart and thinking about everything she loves…and admittedly everything she hates too. To her relief, her new heart responds as it should. She’d still the same person.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz7HRnGs6pr
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpbkGE8juQP
But then she stops on a channel showing a dance competition. Megumi, who couldn’t even watch her sister’s biggest performance without fidgeting, finds herself riveted by the strangers dancing onscreen. Her pulse quickens, and she lets the remote rest on her lap.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHxatxaDeFD
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWQ3DzNFYl7
For some reason she doesn’t quite understand, a tear squeezes out of her eye.8964 copyright protection919ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7XsUXw3qG2 維尼

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