Mai uses her plié to come into relevé, her toes in grande pointe. She feels the sheen of sweat on her neck, even as she holds it high, trying to embody the grace of a swan.938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4i0DklEbtz
938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7h07r3P88U
Her execution is perfect, her expression is perfect. She shows no outward signs of her toes screaming in pain, even as she feels the telltale wet warmth in her shoes.938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqYPEx9ZFbO
938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz1Y8lIZNTi
Her face remains serene.938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6z5mZrl4Qo
938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe6zhC8HFcZ
A memory comes to her mind—Megumi-chan as a baby curled in Dad’s arms. She was born too early. She was sick. Her heart wasn’t strong enough. She wasn’t expected to live past a couple of years, even with all the 23rd century medical technology.938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ09M8HxLJDE
938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCIb7XfPoY4
Mai feels her expression falter and quickly snaps it back into place, coming into the present and leaving behind a past she can’t change. When she dances, she has utter control over every part of her body. It’s the only time her life feels like it’s truly her own.938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7CyP28x5FX
938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTDJU58K6q0
The audience is packed. Flashes burst from the auditorium before her life dramatically dying stars. Fourteen years and five auditions. All the sacrifices she’s made, and all the hours she’s put in. Mai didn’t go to prom or Homecoming or any other normal high school event. And it was all in preparation for today.938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPut8Nzr0We
938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5leNbovoS0
This should have been her beginning.938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTyCNVyhcT1
938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiQfCO0dES2
*/*/*938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn2E9i1GIaA
938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrsLrmLjwCs
Megumi realizes she’s wrinkling the program between her fingers and quickly tries to smooth it out, running her finger along Mai’s name.938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX3oVZFdeye
938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzEMkn5kJWu
She tries not to fidget, even though her mind wandered off at least an hour ago. She’s in Hawaii, hiking up the side of a volcano, the blackened lava rocks warm beneath her sneakers. The air is choked with steam and the odor of sulfur.938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrmZI6mYLVp
938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ57Eedc136I
From there, she makes her way down a white beach sand. The soft, wed sand sinks under her feet. Warm and gentle waves lap across her skin, leaving behind patterns of salt and sand. She can feel the warmth of the sea breeze that makes the palm trees dance, and she can taste the tang of the air.938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1EwHxd94tD
938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIZ0S7xZFp8
Her guidebooks are at home, filled with annotations of everything she can’t leave Hawaii without seeing. Megumi wishes she brought one of them along, but immediately feels guilty. She should be watching Mai right now. Mai’s dream is ending because of Megumi.938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEYMy83pF5h
938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUMEkZyXmNi
A sharp ache in her chest makes her flinch. She rubs at it surreptitiously at her chest. When she’s certain her parents are focused completely on Mai, she pulls a pill out of her pocket—hiding it in her palm—and slides it into her mouth.938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlkUwAFoOd0
938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQilMmXdsp3
Mom’s gaze snaps to her immediately. She starts leaning in toward Megumi.938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr7QTN15VSw
938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwklZp5RVue
“I’m fine,” Megumi says, a little too sharply. She softens her voice. “Let’s just watch Mai, okay?”938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMQPIHToXzx
938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuHiNYFCWid
Her mom takes her hand but turns forward to watch the performance again.938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJetbuFqA1f
938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd3fKG8MLzi
Megumi watches too, keeping her eyes on her sister rather than on the other dancers. Although Megumi can’t even do the same hike twice, Mai is the type who can do the same step one thousand times over until she knows it perfectly, even if that means breaking her toes in the process.938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHuqhUSh9KD
938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH3JhVkBAij
Megumi knows the heart is just an organ, and she knows living heart donations are common in this century, but Megumi can’t help but wonder. She wonders if the piece of heart she’s being gifted will change her in any way or if she’ll still be one hundred percent Megumi.938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmqFcpTAsYq
938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsYO3h8KcnD
*/*/*938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡelX9gvIUfn
938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpz5f3CnyhB
After the performance, Mai sits on a bench in the dressing room, staring at the ballet slippers encasing her feet. She can’t bring herself to take them off just yet. She wants to wait at least until the other dancers are gone.938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡShMWM7Oha2
938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsjUXD1UVBW
Once the last of the voices fades away, she begins to unlace her slippers slowly and ceremoniously, letting them fall off her feet—her feet that are so calloused and bruised and broken that it’s a wonder they’re each still in one piece. She cleans the blood off carefully, loving her mangled feet for persevering through the torture she’s subjected them to. They are her pride and her prize, proof of the work she’s done.938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ydeZHuIvE
938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8QqbUDs6b7
Her heart aches, the pain so real she wonders for a second if something might be wrong with her heart too. But, no. Her heart just knows it’s about to be broken—split in half and taken from her.938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ20cwarM5wx
938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF9hjCKY92E
Mai isn’t upset about that. How can she be? Megumi-chan’s life is far more important than anything else.938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHgzOXu8MBt
938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhXhfpYwBqL
Still, she selfishly wishes a miracle would happen—Megumi-chan’s heart would magically heal or an even better donor match would drop out of the sky. But Mai knows she’s the best option. Their parents are too old. It can only be a sibling, and Mai and Megumi-chan match almost perfectly.938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnRetG9mnas
938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡysEmFWVNgR
She wonders what it might have been like to live in a time when living heart donations weren’t possible.938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcLXUdk5j3J
938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpqwXyeYUIu
“There you are,” Laurel says, sitting on the bench beside her. “That was fantastic, Mai. I could really only see room for improvement in a couple of places.”938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZRAlZkesip
938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0pLqXFO1oK
Laurel goes on, and Mai lets her, barely hearing her words. Mai wants to say something about Laurel being the best dance coach ever, but thinks Laurel would find it weirdly sentimental. Mai hasn’t told anyone she won’t be able to dance anymore because she can’t let go of the selfish hope that something will save her and release her from this obligation.938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcNfp6ip8Y5
938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLzyz5jYGju
And then she feels guilty for thinking of Megumi-chan as an obligation.938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3DQuh9URff
938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2IlUXV8BaW
When Laurel leaves, Mai pulls her knees to her chest until she feels turned inside out.938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsXQ9Ks02vx
938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZWRhUlcOzb
Her life until now has been a dream, and she’s being woken up.938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcscfTWyQXW
938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfADu7F1Wp6
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938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsQx3ahSYk2
“Are you scared?” Megumi asks Mai.938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP8zevd68lw
938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6dgujKLIgl
“No,” Mai says from the other bed. “Are you?”938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjyQbQoiXxr
938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN4IPu8eJe0
“Of course not,” Megumi lies.938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIqOsFKmT2v
938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbZcPLviSbD
She hears the steady beat of Mai’s heart monitor. Megumi’s own monitor beeps a little erratically as her weak heat tries to find a steady rhythm. She wonders what Mai is thinking right now—what she must be feeling.938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4EPNEceRKL
938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP33Qj4qe5I
“Half a heart isn’t enough to support an athletic lifestyle,” Dr. Aguerra said seriously when he proposed the surgery to the family. “Mai, no one can coerce or pressure you into making this decision. If you agree to do it, you’ll undergo a psych evaluation to make sure this is your choice and your choice alone.”938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYT4embd3jR
938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSCguWXubYq
Megumi was so tired at the time she could barely keep her eyes open. She let them fall shut because she didn’t want to see Mai’s expression as Mai said yes.938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxPe2DTJzdx
938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQyrhAds8IC
“I’ll do it,” Mai said. “I don’t need to think about it.”938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlHGQ2ThWQf
938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIYPCBVxXsB
When they were kids, the two of them would go on adventures. It’s something Mai outgrew quickly, but Megumi still hasn’t. They found a treehouse in the woods behind their house once. Seeing it was abandoned, they decided it was theirs. Megumi would go there and wait for Mai to come home from dance practice.938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPUdXpMm9CV
938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoN3SK4jet5
She was there one day, waiting for Mai, when the rotting wood collapsed beneath her, pitching her out of the treehouse. Mai arrived just in time to catch Megumi, breaking her arm in the process. She didn’t complain about it once, even when it meant she couldn’t dance for three weeks.938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5bdRritD1j
938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡApKOrXaoYQ
Megumi swallows the guilt and the fear that she’s being selfish.938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8fOaYA904x
938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGTM8mnrsME
Her weak heart manages to catch up to Mai’s heart—the one they’ll soon be sharing.938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKXSHrFclVT
938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTkRjreBMZB
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938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiLsggle0O0
Mai has a moment of panic before the anesthesia is administered. She doesn’t think she can’t do this. It’s a nightmare, spilling into her lungs and suffocating her. She can’t stop dancing. She doesn’t know how to be a full person if she isn’t a dancer.938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiSl91K5sBS
938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7UjObyY6sA
But then she looks at the black hair spilling over the side of the bed beside her. Megumi-chan is already under, maybe dream of everything she’ll do when she wakes up with a new heart. After all, half a functioning heart is better than a full non-functioning heart.938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMIEAfvHRhq
938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3QqfTy9bdg
Mai tries to take her sister’s hand, but she can’t reach it.938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡntBZ9Jm0zq
938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjNEQYsVOJp
She closes her eyes and opens them a moment later. At least it feels like a moment later. The soreness in her chest says otherwise. She feels in pieces. Her mind is still foggy from the anesthesia but the mental capacity that is still working tries to make sense of the changes she has to make to her life now.938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuvx7B5rHNo
938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd6MCofDzV2
Mai feels incomplete already, like she needs to undergo some sort of mental rehab to teach her to be a normal person without being a dancer. She is empty and devoid of purpose, wondering how people adapt to situations that turn their lives around completely.938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxe6YEYkNFN
938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq81PQ3Z0Bn
She supposes they do it out of necessity. Mai has made this choice, and although she doesn’t doubt it’s the right one, she has no idea how to come to terms with it.938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRuXombLkhj
938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxQ4bbnp6G5
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938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8gFsQHH92J
The light is too bright when Megumi wakes up. Her eyes mist over, and she has to blink out the tears and let them adjust before taking stock of her surroundings. Oxygen is being fed to her through a mask. Needles thread her arms so she can barely move without tugging at one or another. She lifts her hand to her chest, feeling the uneven skin under her hospital gown. She hears the beep of a heart rate monitor—but just one.938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgzidU4b6pF
938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡikGf9kt5ud
Turning her head as much as she can, Megumi sees Mom right outside the open door. Mom’s face is buried in her hands, shoulders shaking.938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWtaNvL9m8e
938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡphxJTfdUGg
Megumi is a bit more alert, her blood going cold. Did something go wrong with Mai?938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFXz3L3gqZy
938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqcSVSd6xlA
But she turns her head to the other side, and her sister is on her bed—at Megumi’s side as always. Mai is flipping through magazine sand eating chocolate pudding, but she exclaims when she sees Megumi awake.938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4aGg9pDKVY
938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzfxnbxd43s
“Are you okay? How do you feel?”938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5GaMCS53N6
938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEOfLFSIRDn
Megumi motions tiredly to the oxygen mask on her face. She feels lightheaded and tired, but her new heart feels strong. Even having just half of it feels so much better than her old heart.938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzAcq55cuxV
938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7mO5dZcTgS
That’s when she realizes there are two heart monitors after all. It’s just that both of them are beeping perfectly in sync.938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxi8FAIKS0F
938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT4sCBfJwRm
Dr. Aguerra comes in and checks on Megumi, finally taking off the oxygen mask.938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNAV2vwqEVe
938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDk8f7yskUj
“We just need to run a few tests,” he says. “We’ll take Mai out first. You just wait here and relax until we come and get you.”938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsD7CqItTCD
938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkn0vjHNve2
He turns on the TV and hands her the remote after helping her sit up. Megumi thought she just wanted to sleep, but once she’s seated, she feels more awake.938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzai6ATeb4C
938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiwJoLbsnkY
As they wheel Mai out, Megumi catches sight of her backpack on a chair in the corner of the room. The lace from Mai’s favorite ballet shoes hangs outside the zipper. Swallowing the ache, Megumi turns her gaze back to the TV. She isn’t really paying attention, though. She’s enjoying the feel of her new heart and thinking about everything she loves…and admittedly everything she hates too. To her relief, her new heart responds as it should. She’d still the same person.938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMEIg1hWZaG
938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwE9d0cepBL
But then she stops on a channel showing a dance competition. Megumi, who couldn’t even watch her sister’s biggest performance without fidgeting, finds herself riveted by the strangers dancing onscreen. Her pulse quickens, and she lets the remote rest on her lap.938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkBSG5CIAdc
938Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWgY12RTmOg
For some reason she doesn’t quite understand, a tear squeezes out of her eye.8964 copyright protection934ＰＥＮＡＮＡcPckGT33Y5 維尼

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