Eli throws himself back in his chair, one hand to his head and the other limp across the chair’s arm. The box falls out of his grip and clatters on the wooden floor. His grandmother’s ring pops out of the box and skitters away from him. The diamonds taunt him in the moonlight.630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡexBv2P7pC3
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“We can’t do this,” Mari said gently, curling his hand over the ring.630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2XRiHmkimn
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrBqd4kt5to
The memory makes him shudder. Good thing he did it alone rather than in a crowded location as he was originally planning to.630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMYaWmx5CRK
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe85myvMYvS
“I love you,” he said.630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVH6vhFViM0
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“I love you too.” She stared at the flame of the candle between them. “But…how can we get married when you aren’t old enough to drink at your own bachelor party? Are we supposed to pop open a bottle of apple cider?”630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdDirW2OfmN
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbwbcmqjqpP
“I didn’t know drinking was that important to you,” he said stiffly, running his pinky along the rim of his water glass.630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEIWnkV1Exj
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl471qy7DgR
“It isn’t that,” Mari said. “It’s what being able to drink represents.”630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ02BOfa4gQE
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡulnRQuGVLr
“And what’s that?” he asked, knowing he wasn’t helping his case by sounding like a petulant child.630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPihwr0BOBg
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM4wI9cEIn8
“That you’re an adult,” she said, reaching across the table to put a hand to his cheek. “Which you aren’t yet.”630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjjG04yw6Xv
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ5L2MzfVgG
“That’s not what you said last night,” Eli muttered.630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6bORzqiAaN
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoJru5SLDaR
She shot him a look and her smile melted away. “I love you, Eli. You know that. But we can’t get married. At the very least, we can’t get married right now.”630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTtWSa40uzv
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfM83DzcmFM
The table is still set for dinner, even though Mari has long since left. The ice in her water glass has melted. He can still smell the candle wax.630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMwCsLJvJEI
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMYteAMBmXx
Mari wanted to go to the Epik High concert even more than Eli did. Or rather, Eli wanted to go but had to accept the fact that he couldn’t afford to do everything while studying full-time and working part-time at the university bookstore. But Mari wanted to do everything.630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ49JKihNFFh
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkl6Aw01RZ7
“I can’t go to the concert,” he told her.630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbaBuEZh2hd
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ30CjpNAvLs
She bought him a ticket anyway, telling him, “It isn’t a big deal.”630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeuTs0w62Cw
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡny2no7kwsr
It’s always been like that. She casually buys him a ticket to something and doesn’t think twice about it. For him, however, each event she pays for becomes a brick on his back. He can’t imagine she’s as fine with it as she seems to be.630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ftVP44sTQ
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC9un4wWROe
He has never been sure what bothers him more—being a burden on her or the fact that she isn’t honest about how she feels, that she pretends it’s okay that she has to keep paying for him.630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ157Chjo8w1
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2pikmAuHxk
Eli gets up, leaving the ring where it is on the floor and goes out to the balcony. He leans his forearms on the cold metal railing and leans forward, staring up at the sky. His favorite thing about living in a college town is that he can actually see the stars—especially since his apartment is at the top of the hill.630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtl73axPiUf
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNi3KDY5BLU
He drops his gaze down toward the school and can even see Bell Hall, the building with the lab where Mari works. There are some lights on, although he’s fairly certain Mari isn’t there right now. She’s probably soaking in a hot bath—probably reading to calm her nerves after rejecting Eli’s proposal.630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7TIsWBMcPa
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWfkArNLq2Z
He grips the railing and leans back, eyes turned upward again. The night breeze pushes his hair off his forehead.630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMJ0NTnaoyz
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXARgZ9DAOO
He went to the lab with her once, but only once. Mari had needed to stop by and start an experiment before they headed out on a date. He had trailed in after her, wanting to see what she did and just wanting to be in her presence.630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfvvwXYXP5m
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhJO78SJGSF
One of her coworkers stopped by to talk to her and glanced at Eli questioningly.630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmKYbrwXOkd
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhQbPRYu3v4
“Alan, this is my boyfriend, Eli,” Mari said.630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKafwwZAHoO
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPBsFQS6bhQ
“So, Eli, what do you do?” Alan said as they shook hands.630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpMSb0xbUxG
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXI9lwq42mg
“Are you really going to pester my boyfriend right now?” Mari said, taking Eli’s arm and tried to pull him away.630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcUTG9rPU1Z
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ariQp4ja5
“Pester him? I’m just trying to be polite,” Alan said. “Is his job top secret or something?”630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUlAzLI7OI5
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ekpa5a47P
Mari’s lips were pressed together. Clearly she had never told her coworkers she’d met her boyfriend while she was a graduate student T.A. for his undergrad biochem class.630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRsCosi4b4A
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMChscsCojm
“I’m a student,” Eli said, suddenly wanting to leave the lab and head out to their movie.630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡba4k1ZRiwJ
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNljcr2e3dx
“PhD? What do you study?” Alan said.630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXuEUfyTD5t
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeEwUY4aqEt
“No, not a PhD student,” Eli said, his neck and cheeks starting to heat up. He couldn’t meet Mari’s gaze.630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAGqLipbYTi
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡco00yxKmXN
“Oh, Master’s then?” 630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI6Dcy3erb0
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhaTuUuP3X4
“Actually, I’m an undergrad,” Eli said.630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZierMJmm8V
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKDg9XkiZsS
“Oh.” Alan looked at Mari and then back at Eli. “Well, it was good to meet you, man.”630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPoJhjkbHUv
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt4ByYaHSA3
Eli followed Mari in silence. He could feel something like embarrassment or shame rising off of her, but she turned around and placed a hand on his forearm, forcing a gentle smile.630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3sv99K8bxW
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkqn5OgTLNB
“Don’t worry about it,” she said. “This is just because of your age. One day, you’ll catch up to me—maybe even pass me—and it won’t matter. We’ll forget there was ever a time like this.”630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFyCvnvLoAW
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXUpGtvSzCF
Eli sighs. Crickets chirp in time with the twinkling of the stars. As he stares up absently, a giant meteor falls. He watches it streak across the sky, getting brighter and brighter and brighter until the blazing light fills the sky, fills his vision, fills his mind.630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5MFbvRTSWI
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ErZ0302PY
He blinks. He’s in the living room of an apartment. There are no lights on, and the time reads 2:57 a.m. on a digital clock with green numbers—just around the time he was standing outside. 630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ePNg5jDZ0
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmhbHhtKsEC
He realizes with surprise that there’s something in his hand. It’s a piece of a rock. He would think it’s a dream, but the rock smells like metal and fire. It’s warm. Eli brings it to his face. 630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeW0s1PdOCX
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQb5sOW8odn
He doesn’t see how it’s possible, but he wonders if it’s a part of a meteor—maybe the meteor he just saw.630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6RHiIGBHPG
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwnOxuVQFFH
He surveys the apartment. It’s bland and undecorated, but the wooden dining table seems ready to splinter under the weight of open textbooks and notebooks. A closed MacBook charges, precariously close to a half-finished mug of coffee. Eli leans forward and looks at the notebook, immediately recognizing the handwriting.630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrboAJucx6g
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It isn’t possible.630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2kCyxNLtIf
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡymuwo3cV7x
He glances toward a closed door that he assumes is a bedroom and makes his way over warily, quietly pushing it open. There’s a bed on the other side, up against the wall. Moonlight streams directly upon the sleeping form. Her back is turned, and even if it weren’t for the dark hair ribboning across the pillow, he still would have recognized her.630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0jau1rJhyQ
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwFKxO12c8d
He creeps closer—she’s a notoriously light sleeper—and takes a better look. She shifts in her sleep slightly, as though she can sense she has a visitor. And then he sees her face. Mari looks pretty much the same as she did when he saw her a few hours ago, only more vulnerable. There are streaks of lavender in her hair, starting at her scalp and traveling out. Her bangs are shorter, settling on her closed eyelids. There’s still a hint of baby softness that hasn’t yet melted away to reveal the sultry cheekbones in the Mari he loves.630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPn5Ac9LEmC
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHzSiGuO92d
Eli presses a button on her phone, illuminating the screen, to see the date. Five years ago to the day.630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJEwvmmHqHt
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpBx070L94g
If this is right, if this isn’t a dream of some sort, he’s seeing her when she was the same age as he is now. He looks at the meteor, still in his hand. He isn’t sure how he knows this, but he’s suddenly sure the meteor was his ticket here and will be his ticket back to his year.630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCayvtonYV5
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡonZHg4mYyV
But he has an idea. Now that he’s here, why not stay? He’ll age with her, and she will no longer be five years older than him. He’ll make it work, somehow—find a way to survive as a twenty-year-old in this year, stage a run-in with her. She’ll fall in love with him again, but they’ll be on equal ground.630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwulHquPgm5
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Sliding the little meteor piece into his pocket, he takes a deep breath, excitement mounting at the thought of starting again with her at the same age—even if she is still a month older. They’ll have five more years together than they would have otherwise.630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXIIUFA4bEC
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡum6QtjRaXg
“Is this really want you want?” Mari asked him multiple times, a shrewd look on her face. “With me five years older than you, you do realize things might need to happen five years faster than you want them to, right?”630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHlML14g2jS
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHNYtlk78Fm
“Like what?” he said.630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡowHtXVPtp2
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“Getting married, having kids,” she said.630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQnjX5oolIp
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“Well, good thing you warned me about it now,” Eli said. “Now I’m mentally prepared.”630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT1gCkTBni4
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvpBQgsNEG3
“Seriously, though,” she said. “Don’t you want someone your age?”630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTqkJijrSd8
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9SS6li25mV
Eli sits cross-legged on the floor beside her bed, deflating instantly. If he stays here isn’t he finding someone his own age. He told her he didn’t care about their age difference. And he doesn’t, really. He presses the heels of his hands to his eyes, feeling a little dizzy as if he just got off a rollercoaster.630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7mHHFcEK36
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbWy8R7hps8
“I can’t believe you’ve never ridden a rollercoaster before,” Eli said.630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKAabWKhjWZ
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEUXU3QHOeV
Mari gripped his hand, her nails digging into his skin. Her eyes were wide, focused on the car that sped by thunderously. The riders’ screams seemed to hover in the air behind them.630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKf4rvVzWKs
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh3l0P74kio
“Well,” she said. “I guess this is all part of our goal of making new memories together.”630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgfByHE0iJI
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlfN0hdVOit
This Mari sleeping in front of him doesn’t have that memory of riding the rollercoaster with him. She doesn’t have any of the memories they’ve created over the past two years. The situation would be unbalanced with him knowing her soul even as she tries to discover his.630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0RQGV873xS
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6jRxB1by9t
Eli takes the meteor out of his pocket. It seems like it’s getting warmer. He stands up and looks at her again, a little sad at the thought of a future that can never be. Taking his chance, he leans forward and presses a kiss to her forehead, just above her left eyebrow. Even five years ago, she used the smell shampoo she uses in the present.630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBr58xvnvcZ
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYl2Ts0nfhC
Mari stretches and blinks blearily at him. He knows she was almost blind pre-LASIK. This Mari can barely see anything without her glasses or contacts. He must be just a blonde-haired outline to her, too indistinct for her to even tell he’s Korean under that blonde hair.630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ27C12xlG5L
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOvMHkQeLC3
“Who are you?” she murmurs.630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlwjfILbWCO
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkqVE3iEONd
He thinks about it for a moment and speaks softly to keep from waking her up completely. “I’m someone you haven’t met yet—someone you’ll meet in the future and fall in love with, but not quite as deeply as I’ll fall in love with you.”630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgbcMFeDqVe
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwnZj3CzPiL
“Why?” Her voice is still groggy, eyes half-closed.630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD9NTlrxMAS
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhl5vxZGjh8
“Because I’m younger than you,” Eli says, gently putting a finger to her cheek. “It’ll bother you, and I think you won’t believe me when I say just how much I love you. But I love you, and only you, and especially you when you’re five years older than me. Don’t forget it, okay?”630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdjeiPwpOV6
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLSQxhEZlmg
He holds his pinky out to her. She curves her own pinky around his. Her skin is almost as warm as the meteor.630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAwMkpT6RRB
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1tCWSULG2Q
“Okay.” Her voice is nearly gone now as she sinks back into sleep.630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHkNDutesC2
630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNMFwFFvH2u
He holds the meteor in his palm as it burns more fiercely, watching this Mari and thinking about the Mari waiting for him back in his present.630Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡju5vWAuJmd
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