Eli throws himself back in his chair, one hand to his head and the other limp across the chair’s arm. The box falls out of his grip and clatters on the wooden floor. His grandmother’s ring pops out of the box and skitters away from him. The diamonds taunt him in the moonlight.790Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFUKbsDceEC
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“We can’t do this,” Mari said gently, curling his hand over the ring.790Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu52CyxFA5O
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The memory makes him shudder. Good thing he did it alone rather than in a crowded location as he was originally planning to.790Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWDLscCe8IJ
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“I love you,” he said.790Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrt0VUa7GSY
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“I love you too.” She stared at the flame of the candle between them. “But…how can we get married when you aren’t old enough to drink at your own bachelor party? Are we supposed to pop open a bottle of apple cider?”790Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5LXM5iu5Ew
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“I didn’t know drinking was that important to you,” he said stiffly, running his pinky along the rim of his water glass.790Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZzyScnXJ4h
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“It isn’t that,” Mari said. “It’s what being able to drink represents.”790Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMRZe5GMv3B
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“And what’s that?” he asked, knowing he wasn’t helping his case by sounding like a petulant child.790Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ95zco313h3
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“That you’re an adult,” she said, reaching across the table to put a hand to his cheek. “Which you aren’t yet.”790Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5wnMtoklX5
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“That’s not what you said last night,” Eli muttered.790Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQNX9NpvQza
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She shot him a look and her smile melted away. “I love you, Eli. You know that. But we can’t get married. At the very least, we can’t get married right now.”790Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkfLp2EuKHb
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The table is still set for dinner, even though Mari has long since left. The ice in her water glass has melted. He can still smell the candle wax.790Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFJdAGWWCRz
790Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLEjlPjMWsE
Mari wanted to go to the Epik High concert even more than Eli did. Or rather, Eli wanted to go but had to accept the fact that he couldn’t afford to do everything while studying full-time and working part-time at the university bookstore. But Mari wanted to do everything.790Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRBUCTRL64u
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“I can’t go to the concert,” he told her.790Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB8iyTcbULS
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She bought him a ticket anyway, telling him, “It isn’t a big deal.”790Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡykGzfgHbGY
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It’s always been like that. She casually buys him a ticket to something and doesn’t think twice about it. For him, however, each event she pays for becomes a brick on his back. He can’t imagine she’s as fine with it as she seems to be.790Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOeFSU0k2IV
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He has never been sure what bothers him more—being a burden on her or the fact that she isn’t honest about how she feels, that she pretends it’s okay that she has to keep paying for him.790Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxV1OEp0QZm
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Eli gets up, leaving the ring where it is on the floor and goes out to the balcony. He leans his forearms on the cold metal railing and leans forward, staring up at the sky. His favorite thing about living in a college town is that he can actually see the stars—especially since his apartment is at the top of the hill.790Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6f6f84MJPX
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He drops his gaze down toward the school and can even see Bell Hall, the building with the lab where Mari works. There are some lights on, although he’s fairly certain Mari isn’t there right now. She’s probably soaking in a hot bath—probably reading to calm her nerves after rejecting Eli’s proposal.790Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlf530ORJFG
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He grips the railing and leans back, eyes turned upward again. The night breeze pushes his hair off his forehead.790Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtz1tMCTPJQ
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He went to the lab with her once, but only once. Mari had needed to stop by and start an experiment before they headed out on a date. He had trailed in after her, wanting to see what she did and just wanting to be in her presence.790Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFAVTKarNjE
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One of her coworkers stopped by to talk to her and glanced at Eli questioningly.790Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhiLQqvlaVX
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“Alan, this is my boyfriend, Eli,” Mari said.790Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3qIVP4uXAb
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“So, Eli, what do you do?” Alan said as they shook hands.790Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkcZEugGwDd
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“Are you really going to pester my boyfriend right now?” Mari said, taking Eli’s arm and tried to pull him away.790Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA8Aj54hyO7
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“Pester him? I’m just trying to be polite,” Alan said. “Is his job top secret or something?”790Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjFm4FVswkt
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Mari’s lips were pressed together. Clearly she had never told her coworkers she’d met her boyfriend while she was a graduate student T.A. for his undergrad biochem class.790Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgQ7JoNrlHX
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“I’m a student,” Eli said, suddenly wanting to leave the lab and head out to their movie.790Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡizPxxtn4bE
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“PhD? What do you study?” Alan said.790Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡojkqUWfqz4
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“No, not a PhD student,” Eli said, his neck and cheeks starting to heat up. He couldn’t meet Mari’s gaze.790Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡng3wG1qwgg
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“Oh, Master’s then?” 790Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBd3C1JAkLE
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“Actually, I’m an undergrad,” Eli said.790Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4TMvdyGAI9
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“Oh.” Alan looked at Mari and then back at Eli. “Well, it was good to meet you, man.”790Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsFMoojjiUK
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Eli followed Mari in silence. He could feel something like embarrassment or shame rising off of her, but she turned around and placed a hand on his forearm, forcing a gentle smile.790Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0P6UYR7cYh
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“Don’t worry about it,” she said. “This is just because of your age. One day, you’ll catch up to me—maybe even pass me—and it won’t matter. We’ll forget there was ever a time like this.”790Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCID88nbXQ3
790Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBGoNVQhgYi
Eli sighs. Crickets chirp in time with the twinkling of the stars. As he stares up absently, a giant meteor falls. He watches it streak across the sky, getting brighter and brighter and brighter until the blazing light fills the sky, fills his vision, fills his mind.790Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWgvgoRDalq
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He blinks. He’s in the living room of an apartment. There are no lights on, and the time reads 2:57 a.m. on a digital clock with green numbers—just around the time he was standing outside. 790Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmn7PEswv9n
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He realizes with surprise that there’s something in his hand. It’s a piece of a rock. He would think it’s a dream, but the rock smells like metal and fire. It’s warm. Eli brings it to his face. 790Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW5gkMwQACf
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He doesn’t see how it’s possible, but he wonders if it’s a part of a meteor—maybe the meteor he just saw.790Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡItEaAbOf7F
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He surveys the apartment. It’s bland and undecorated, but the wooden dining table seems ready to splinter under the weight of open textbooks and notebooks. A closed MacBook charges, precariously close to a half-finished mug of coffee. Eli leans forward and looks at the notebook, immediately recognizing the handwriting.790Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3dYq0ixb17
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It isn’t possible.790Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZOqy9nLfOu
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He glances toward a closed door that he assumes is a bedroom and makes his way over warily, quietly pushing it open. There’s a bed on the other side, up against the wall. Moonlight streams directly upon the sleeping form. Her back is turned, and even if it weren’t for the dark hair ribboning across the pillow, he still would have recognized her.790Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrcYnVXQ0Uz
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He creeps closer—she’s a notoriously light sleeper—and takes a better look. She shifts in her sleep slightly, as though she can sense she has a visitor. And then he sees her face. Mari looks pretty much the same as she did when he saw her a few hours ago, only more vulnerable. There are streaks of lavender in her hair, starting at her scalp and traveling out. Her bangs are shorter, settling on her closed eyelids. There’s still a hint of baby softness that hasn’t yet melted away to reveal the sultry cheekbones in the Mari he loves.790Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyfkMlz9urc
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Eli presses a button on her phone, illuminating the screen, to see the date. Five years ago to the day.790Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqSXeVgg4n6
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If this is right, if this isn’t a dream of some sort, he’s seeing her when she was the same age as he is now. He looks at the meteor, still in his hand. He isn’t sure how he knows this, but he’s suddenly sure the meteor was his ticket here and will be his ticket back to his year.790Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0vqESgDcos
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But he has an idea. Now that he’s here, why not stay? He’ll age with her, and she will no longer be five years older than him. He’ll make it work, somehow—find a way to survive as a twenty-year-old in this year, stage a run-in with her. She’ll fall in love with him again, but they’ll be on equal ground.790Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQrEOLF27HX
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Sliding the little meteor piece into his pocket, he takes a deep breath, excitement mounting at the thought of starting again with her at the same age—even if she is still a month older. They’ll have five more years together than they would have otherwise.790Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsvkAgoQaY1
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“Is this really want you want?” Mari asked him multiple times, a shrewd look on her face. “With me five years older than you, you do realize things might need to happen five years faster than you want them to, right?”790Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡptY33atNPw
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“Like what?” he said.790Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBxQjJhZZaI
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“Getting married, having kids,” she said.790Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmYdSvy5TWn
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“Well, good thing you warned me about it now,” Eli said. “Now I’m mentally prepared.”790Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBFecf7phu9
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“Seriously, though,” she said. “Don’t you want someone your age?”790Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMrMkWwLPC7
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Eli sits cross-legged on the floor beside her bed, deflating instantly. If he stays here isn’t he finding someone his own age. He told her he didn’t care about their age difference. And he doesn’t, really. He presses the heels of his hands to his eyes, feeling a little dizzy as if he just got off a rollercoaster.790Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0g3T7vTYVp
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“I can’t believe you’ve never ridden a rollercoaster before,” Eli said.790Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgPTBXCA2Bv
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Mari gripped his hand, her nails digging into his skin. Her eyes were wide, focused on the car that sped by thunderously. The riders’ screams seemed to hover in the air behind them.790Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1JFnLXiNhf
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“Well,” she said. “I guess this is all part of our goal of making new memories together.”790Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpnl2urMGwT
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This Mari sleeping in front of him doesn’t have that memory of riding the rollercoaster with him. She doesn’t have any of the memories they’ve created over the past two years. The situation would be unbalanced with him knowing her soul even as she tries to discover his.790Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNcCoHuZucy
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Eli takes the meteor out of his pocket. It seems like it’s getting warmer. He stands up and looks at her again, a little sad at the thought of a future that can never be. Taking his chance, he leans forward and presses a kiss to her forehead, just above her left eyebrow. Even five years ago, she used the smell shampoo she uses in the present.790Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ62q2yIEX51
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Mari stretches and blinks blearily at him. He knows she was almost blind pre-LASIK. This Mari can barely see anything without her glasses or contacts. He must be just a blonde-haired outline to her, too indistinct for her to even tell he’s Korean under that blonde hair.790Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡamAja89Rlw
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“Who are you?” she murmurs.790Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7U4OBRkQ54
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He thinks about it for a moment and speaks softly to keep from waking her up completely. “I’m someone you haven’t met yet—someone you’ll meet in the future and fall in love with, but not quite as deeply as I’ll fall in love with you.”790Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnLVSmcWEBX
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“Why?” Her voice is still groggy, eyes half-closed.790Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAvS9ezGOiw
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“Because I’m younger than you,” Eli says, gently putting a finger to her cheek. “It’ll bother you, and I think you won’t believe me when I say just how much I love you. But I love you, and only you, and especially you when you’re five years older than me. Don’t forget it, okay?”790Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbt9H0TeUAo
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He holds his pinky out to her. She curves her own pinky around his. Her skin is almost as warm as the meteor.790Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡop9eo2TIII
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“Okay.” Her voice is nearly gone now as she sinks back into sleep.790Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6vE58lwFQC
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He holds the meteor in his palm as it burns more fiercely, watching this Mari and thinking about the Mari waiting for him back in his present.790Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHGCRHQempe
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