Eli throws himself back in his chair, one hand to his head and the other limp across the chair’s arm. The box falls out of his grip and clatters on the wooden floor. His grandmother’s ring pops out of the box and skitters away from him. The diamonds taunt him in the moonlight.832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWHUGVysgSr
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“We can’t do this,” Mari said gently, curling his hand over the ring.832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3fV8hAaW2w
832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBo59TxxNWP
The memory makes him shudder. Good thing he did it alone rather than in a crowded location as he was originally planning to.832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfz1DiRfEEt
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“I love you,” he said.832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIH2WQQj8K3
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“I love you too.” She stared at the flame of the candle between them. “But…how can we get married when you aren’t old enough to drink at your own bachelor party? Are we supposed to pop open a bottle of apple cider?”832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ0vXlq26vy
832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfXJTw0SpnB
“I didn’t know drinking was that important to you,” he said stiffly, running his pinky along the rim of his water glass.832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDldFt4U50T
832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeu0fFzg7kA
“It isn’t that,” Mari said. “It’s what being able to drink represents.”832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhnelHyv8Iy
832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuHrVHKhQ1a
“And what’s that?” he asked, knowing he wasn’t helping his case by sounding like a petulant child.832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0lYd2tm8PY
832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVjEmc6a2Ui
“That you’re an adult,” she said, reaching across the table to put a hand to his cheek. “Which you aren’t yet.”832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcYFhhQEPqb
832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX14cJjUbIz
“That’s not what you said last night,” Eli muttered.832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJuek6XN6ip
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She shot him a look and her smile melted away. “I love you, Eli. You know that. But we can’t get married. At the very least, we can’t get married right now.”832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKz8lwsjnV0
832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7pvpBAVBlH
The table is still set for dinner, even though Mari has long since left. The ice in her water glass has melted. He can still smell the candle wax.832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVCAY3sVU9Z
832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡriTd6vwP85
Mari wanted to go to the Epik High concert even more than Eli did. Or rather, Eli wanted to go but had to accept the fact that he couldn’t afford to do everything while studying full-time and working part-time at the university bookstore. But Mari wanted to do everything.832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJoTNfR07kr
832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUxzapLN3o8
“I can’t go to the concert,” he told her.832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW9kGDcvAwh
832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4EUxAOHo5t
She bought him a ticket anyway, telling him, “It isn’t a big deal.”832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyJvBT69Vhb
832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbRiX3ExGI0
It’s always been like that. She casually buys him a ticket to something and doesn’t think twice about it. For him, however, each event she pays for becomes a brick on his back. He can’t imagine she’s as fine with it as she seems to be.832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWbAppkKppY
832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0jynJnkOdr
He has never been sure what bothers him more—being a burden on her or the fact that she isn’t honest about how she feels, that she pretends it’s okay that she has to keep paying for him.832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXo6NatSDTF
832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2rvzzOpn1N
Eli gets up, leaving the ring where it is on the floor and goes out to the balcony. He leans his forearms on the cold metal railing and leans forward, staring up at the sky. His favorite thing about living in a college town is that he can actually see the stars—especially since his apartment is at the top of the hill.832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ARcnZfcDo
832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7lRkSsvUtu
He drops his gaze down toward the school and can even see Bell Hall, the building with the lab where Mari works. There are some lights on, although he’s fairly certain Mari isn’t there right now. She’s probably soaking in a hot bath—probably reading to calm her nerves after rejecting Eli’s proposal.832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcdrQolrZRF
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He grips the railing and leans back, eyes turned upward again. The night breeze pushes his hair off his forehead.832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWl48eOTwxN
832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGGvffwj6sI
He went to the lab with her once, but only once. Mari had needed to stop by and start an experiment before they headed out on a date. He had trailed in after her, wanting to see what she did and just wanting to be in her presence.832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5B94QGGe0o
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One of her coworkers stopped by to talk to her and glanced at Eli questioningly.832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrPwFNnrIhG
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“Alan, this is my boyfriend, Eli,” Mari said.832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4mdTBlzchr
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“So, Eli, what do you do?” Alan said as they shook hands.832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT8f9gghzRN
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“Are you really going to pester my boyfriend right now?” Mari said, taking Eli’s arm and tried to pull him away.832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW9tBo1Uimz
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“Pester him? I’m just trying to be polite,” Alan said. “Is his job top secret or something?”832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOA5HeJN3ww
832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgvrprsLDff
Mari’s lips were pressed together. Clearly she had never told her coworkers she’d met her boyfriend while she was a graduate student T.A. for his undergrad biochem class.832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsP2K0rciDZ
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“I’m a student,” Eli said, suddenly wanting to leave the lab and head out to their movie.832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiN0draGfyc
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“PhD? What do you study?” Alan said.832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1yaNkAeXS9
832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2OpPUkUg6D
“No, not a PhD student,” Eli said, his neck and cheeks starting to heat up. He couldn’t meet Mari’s gaze.832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3K8cnztiEQ
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“Oh, Master’s then?” 832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt4a6RRY5Gt
832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPBZbDYaXp8
“Actually, I’m an undergrad,” Eli said.832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJNqExJ7mof
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“Oh.” Alan looked at Mari and then back at Eli. “Well, it was good to meet you, man.”832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ20j5Qn5z7i
832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH3hcTayDVc
Eli followed Mari in silence. He could feel something like embarrassment or shame rising off of her, but she turned around and placed a hand on his forearm, forcing a gentle smile.832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNkYeInPC4q
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“Don’t worry about it,” she said. “This is just because of your age. One day, you’ll catch up to me—maybe even pass me—and it won’t matter. We’ll forget there was ever a time like this.”832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT8psQVzQWq
832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGRiJqFi9KM
Eli sighs. Crickets chirp in time with the twinkling of the stars. As he stares up absently, a giant meteor falls. He watches it streak across the sky, getting brighter and brighter and brighter until the blazing light fills the sky, fills his vision, fills his mind.832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvoSqoH3jje
832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ44toaFRhIw
He blinks. He’s in the living room of an apartment. There are no lights on, and the time reads 2:57 a.m. on a digital clock with green numbers—just around the time he was standing outside. 832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlWIGIyRyrk
832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqpCdKJFMMi
He realizes with surprise that there’s something in his hand. It’s a piece of a rock. He would think it’s a dream, but the rock smells like metal and fire. It’s warm. Eli brings it to his face. 832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzRSmapIIME
832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLPqFoRLBbg
He doesn’t see how it’s possible, but he wonders if it’s a part of a meteor—maybe the meteor he just saw.832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqiZohnh4Kp
832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2p7hktjXPz
He surveys the apartment. It’s bland and undecorated, but the wooden dining table seems ready to splinter under the weight of open textbooks and notebooks. A closed MacBook charges, precariously close to a half-finished mug of coffee. Eli leans forward and looks at the notebook, immediately recognizing the handwriting.832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP7kFzZcgIg
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It isn’t possible.832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlhD0lUfPZj
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He glances toward a closed door that he assumes is a bedroom and makes his way over warily, quietly pushing it open. There’s a bed on the other side, up against the wall. Moonlight streams directly upon the sleeping form. Her back is turned, and even if it weren’t for the dark hair ribboning across the pillow, he still would have recognized her.832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRFCVrAtTGO
832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6lTALogUMY
He creeps closer—she’s a notoriously light sleeper—and takes a better look. She shifts in her sleep slightly, as though she can sense she has a visitor. And then he sees her face. Mari looks pretty much the same as she did when he saw her a few hours ago, only more vulnerable. There are streaks of lavender in her hair, starting at her scalp and traveling out. Her bangs are shorter, settling on her closed eyelids. There’s still a hint of baby softness that hasn’t yet melted away to reveal the sultry cheekbones in the Mari he loves.832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9YEkQ7fwCw
832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv21LppLhKN
Eli presses a button on her phone, illuminating the screen, to see the date. Five years ago to the day.832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzTIvntxLPc
832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡduyxCuNbGl
If this is right, if this isn’t a dream of some sort, he’s seeing her when she was the same age as he is now. He looks at the meteor, still in his hand. He isn’t sure how he knows this, but he’s suddenly sure the meteor was his ticket here and will be his ticket back to his year.832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbA7YJrSlIm
832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwL0EfpfaQz
But he has an idea. Now that he’s here, why not stay? He’ll age with her, and she will no longer be five years older than him. He’ll make it work, somehow—find a way to survive as a twenty-year-old in this year, stage a run-in with her. She’ll fall in love with him again, but they’ll be on equal ground.832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkRD77xjZX4
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Sliding the little meteor piece into his pocket, he takes a deep breath, excitement mounting at the thought of starting again with her at the same age—even if she is still a month older. They’ll have five more years together than they would have otherwise.832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtl2d5nJfXX
832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPBUqs3tPdf
“Is this really want you want?” Mari asked him multiple times, a shrewd look on her face. “With me five years older than you, you do realize things might need to happen five years faster than you want them to, right?”832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Ezn1XGrgW
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“Like what?” he said.832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ZLAWU8zf7
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“Getting married, having kids,” she said.832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaSt2lAgpuh
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“Well, good thing you warned me about it now,” Eli said. “Now I’m mentally prepared.”832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVcQyEZsRXh
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“Seriously, though,” she said. “Don’t you want someone your age?”832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxzz6urF79Q
832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ChdYKiTw5
Eli sits cross-legged on the floor beside her bed, deflating instantly. If he stays here isn’t he finding someone his own age. He told her he didn’t care about their age difference. And he doesn’t, really. He presses the heels of his hands to his eyes, feeling a little dizzy as if he just got off a rollercoaster.832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3EjYkSPW7u
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“I can’t believe you’ve never ridden a rollercoaster before,” Eli said.832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn1lVmasSuX
832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuAGzbMSwU5
Mari gripped his hand, her nails digging into his skin. Her eyes were wide, focused on the car that sped by thunderously. The riders’ screams seemed to hover in the air behind them.832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡICEtvUUAYs
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“Well,” she said. “I guess this is all part of our goal of making new memories together.”832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnGcsQbQW5o
832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB3fqZEslV3
This Mari sleeping in front of him doesn’t have that memory of riding the rollercoaster with him. She doesn’t have any of the memories they’ve created over the past two years. The situation would be unbalanced with him knowing her soul even as she tries to discover his.832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq9SKDaWo3C
832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGrzmtPHYSm
Eli takes the meteor out of his pocket. It seems like it’s getting warmer. He stands up and looks at her again, a little sad at the thought of a future that can never be. Taking his chance, he leans forward and presses a kiss to her forehead, just above her left eyebrow. Even five years ago, she used the smell shampoo she uses in the present.832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5fiBQFmXgC
832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfIXENJiu3w
Mari stretches and blinks blearily at him. He knows she was almost blind pre-LASIK. This Mari can barely see anything without her glasses or contacts. He must be just a blonde-haired outline to her, too indistinct for her to even tell he’s Korean under that blonde hair.832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxwYs80BzDu
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“Who are you?” she murmurs.832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDgohGourZa
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He thinks about it for a moment and speaks softly to keep from waking her up completely. “I’m someone you haven’t met yet—someone you’ll meet in the future and fall in love with, but not quite as deeply as I’ll fall in love with you.”832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEZWQm0bJOd
832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwiFzNAJPO1
“Why?” Her voice is still groggy, eyes half-closed.832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT8y59N9KDv
832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN04G084pbN
“Because I’m younger than you,” Eli says, gently putting a finger to her cheek. “It’ll bother you, and I think you won’t believe me when I say just how much I love you. But I love you, and only you, and especially you when you’re five years older than me. Don’t forget it, okay?”832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGzWtIu4fZq
832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYsNhi3UJKE
He holds his pinky out to her. She curves her own pinky around his. Her skin is almost as warm as the meteor.832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcRsebEhNS4
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“Okay.” Her voice is nearly gone now as she sinks back into sleep.832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPUPKuDJKjt
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He holds the meteor in his palm as it burns more fiercely, watching this Mari and thinking about the Mari waiting for him back in his present.832Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf0xR2FYzqp
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