Delia edges into the kitchen with her cane held out in front of her. The counter is coming up to her right…right…about now. Yep, there it is. She switches the cane into her left hand and slides her hand along the edge of the cool marble until it turns the corner.8964 copyright protection375ＰＥＮＡＮＡjH9R8LU7gD 維尼

The floor creaks behind her. She whirls around, brandishing her cane like a weapon. Her heart races. Another creak, and the scent of cinnamon and autumn relaxes her. It’s just Ren. His fingertips brush against her arms. She steps away so the backs of her thighs hit the counter.8964 copyright protection375ＰＥＮＡＮＡjvUcohlBEW 維尼

“Don’t touch me!” Not wanting him to think she’s still angry from before, she softens her tone to say, “I need to learn this for myself.”8964 copyright protection375ＰＥＮＡＮＡFdK28W5Avb 維尼

Turning back around, Delia searches the air with her hands and feels his hands close over hers from behind. Ren's stomach presses warmly against her back. The cane clatters out of her hand and to her feet—so loudly that she cringes.8964 copyright protection375ＰＥＮＡＮＡtvoxa0PW3s 維尼

“Muscle memory,” he says softly. His breath rustles her hair right at the roots. “I’m just showing you where it is so your body can remember it.”8964 copyright protection375ＰＥＮＡＮＡqyOqe9lT7x 維尼

He guides her hand to the rough wood and helps her pull the cabinet open. He wraps her fingers around a cold glass. Taking her other hand, Ren has her lift the pitcher of water and pour it into the glass. She feels the glass shift slightly in her hand and tightens her grip so it won’t fall.8964 copyright protection375ＰＥＮＡＮＡLI4hHfry4f 維尼

And as she does that, he lets go of her and moves away so quickly that it feels like he’s just dissolved away from her. It leaves her suddenly cold, and she hates that she wants him to come back.8964 copyright protection375ＰＥＮＡＮＡYNPthhKglo 維尼

Asking him to come back means admitting why she’s so afraid. It isn’t just the desire to be strong and self-sufficient, no matter what senses she still holds on to, but it’s the broken memories of him. Delia knows the color of his eyes and his hair, the shape of his nose, the curve of his lips.8964 copyright protection375ＰＥＮＡＮＡHUq4P2Px4B 維尼

What she can no longer do is weave them together into a cohesive whole. Her mental picture of him has become a Picasso painting, and it’s suffocating because she doesn’t know if she will ever be able to resolve that in her mind and see him.8964 copyright protection375ＰＥＮＡＮＡoLJOBw6MKo 維尼

Delia aches to touch his face and let her fingers do the seeing. Maybe then she’ll be able to piece together his features and remember him as he is. But she doesn’t want him to see how afraid she is. She especially doesn’t want to know if Ren's afraid, too.8964 copyright protection375ＰＥＮＡＮＡBdPdNvAbWq 維尼

Every morning she tries to open her eyes and then realize they’re already open. She starts to feel claustrophobic and claws for the light switch or the door, but there isn’t either. She’s stuck inside an unending darkness and no matter how suffocated or claustrophobic she feels or how many panic attacks she has, there’s no cure.8964 copyright protection375ＰＥＮＡＮＡNraQPg9BgG 維尼

Now when she turns her face to the sun, she feels its warmth on her face, but she can no longer see the red glow of the sunlight through her eyelids.8964 copyright protection375ＰＥＮＡＮＡxUQhbAzgz2 維尼

And the only thing that really helps to ease the panic welling in her chest is his touch. It is the only way she can feel better, and she hates it because she doesn’t want to rely on anyone—least of all a man. She’s been raised to be a strong, independent woman, and here she is wavering at a man’s touch.8964 copyright protection375ＰＥＮＡＮＡOPqXSPDj8A 維尼

“Are you okay?” Ren puts his hand on her shoulder.8964 copyright protection375ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9KoTXO0c3g 維尼

She jumps, the back of her hand swatting against her glass. She flinches, anticipating the shatter. Instead, she only feels the water splatter against her arm and her leg. He brushes her arm as he reaches around her and the glass clinks against the marble as he sets it down. He’s always had quick reflexes.8964 copyright protection375ＰＥＮＡＮＡMjM7jAWDMj 維尼

Crouching to pick up her cane, Delia feels her way around him and leaves the kitchen, walking as stiffly and confidently as she can.8964 copyright protection375ＰＥＮＡＮＡVssVXkcomh 維尼

In the end, he's never been the one she's angry with.8964 copyright protection375ＰＥＮＡＮＡoaIRj76kZD 維尼

35.168.110.128