午餐用膳後，男生們大多會將多餘時間花在學校操場，或場上打籃球，或場外觀賽。我亦不例外，在場邊與同學輕聲討論打球技巧。忘形之際，一個籃球高速自後側飛來，狠狠砸中我右耳耳背。場中男生上前向我連聲道歉，我只道不要緊。男生拾球後繼續回場較勁，沒把事情放心上。當然，我也沒所謂，小事一椿。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeKYejBCfqy
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzeOftaHQ4V
令我在意的反倒是球場另邊有個陌生男生對我微笑。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFD8UWd391Y
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoySJbP7LW4
匆匆一笑，半秒即逝。他轉頭跟身邊友人繼續說說笑笑。我挺肯定自己想多了——對方不是故意對著我笑，僅是他的站立姿勢及面向角度湊巧朝著我這邊來。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiwxmluVJqi
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbUuX6X269f
但我還是記住了那抹笑容，記住了他的臉容氣質，記住日光照在他臉營造出來的明暗。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPRag5T9bPq
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ppqba2x2N
為何記住？我解釋不了。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyC3Gr2W1cZ
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVG5S0m3gyX
好幾個月過去，夏天轉換為冬。颯颯寒風成功減少場邊女生數目，男生仍然在此閒聊逛蕩。同行朋友忽爾興起，動身到場裡打球。我笑笑婉拒，說吃飽想睡不想動。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Dic7I6rGW
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqFYSF39Uw5
我獨坐長椅一邊，納悶之際，兩個男生前來佔坐長椅另端空位。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ68cyIm7qN8
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAnltMGkIOY
其中一個是他。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg9NKD1MsjH
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKk8alzGPVf
那笑那臉那明暗，歷歷在目。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKo7Yki136a
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ1GlFN0nZ0
心頭一顫，我馬上別過臉去。數秒後，我稍為冷靜，意識到自己的失態，佯裝無異，繼續觀看球賽。不過他似乎察覺我的異樣，有意無意對我展露笑容——一個意味深長的笑容。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ4J1zcbrs3
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT9J3LHqHkO
我尷尬離座回課室去。走樓梯至三樓時，他竟從後叫住我。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlQSFlPGpIx
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjFgQO0RuQ1
「你遺下銀包。」486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiTKl66Ne7g
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUmMDmjWV0n
「謝謝。」486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNt4vFe0UqA
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnPxHSmFlR1
「不用客氣……」486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡktu1iwhejD
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8KQjvzf5TS
奇怪。看他忸怩模樣，他似乎還有話要對我說。說甚麼？不是必須相識的陌生人可以如何打開話題？甚或是「為何要展開話題」？486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ61U76cLBDt
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4VujSw7LB1
氣氛尷尬，四目交投，卻不知如何是好。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXWrPg5YQq8
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFoxxb3Z9Y7
直至提著半滿水桶和微濕地拖的校工在我倆之間經過，彼此才回過神來，甚有默契同時分別從兩個方向離開。我往上，他往下。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUrwgVjeOOn
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh9z4UYwLrD
誰料在午飯時間完結後，我們還是在五樓走廊再次碰面——原來我們都是中五生。由於班別不同、社交圈子不重疊，所以未曾正式認識。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBPJMSm6li4
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ73YrahQWEj
不要緊。現在互相自我介紹就可以。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6TFiA992hd
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEyKAyB9TBV
「我是文班許家偉。」486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7uicVW6Opw
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXElsSxJ8i3
「我是理班李浩榮。」486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3bKRKa3uWz
其實我早已知道許家偉。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Ufk8YHKgd
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTKGuyvNBFQ
我心儀對象就是喜歡許家偉。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAE3jjaQPT2
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAbICauwRn4
被拒絕的心情久久不散。我開始留意許家偉這個人。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBZoSdeauIS
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Q7WZPrApp
拜託阿強向文班生打探有關許家偉的事。某文班生說許家偉無啥特別，亦無專長或短處，是個存在感不強的乖學生。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlzhby3PW0y
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTOHnF9xJ3b
我不明所以——為何心儀對象看上他？486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Ov4YMG3ZQ
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo36lhcyfEH
不是認為心儀對象定要接受我或是對方必須比我優勝，只是我真的找不到許家偉有何可愛之處。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ0vFj69bxD
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ67PFbvvJbJ
不服氣。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvFDCnMQJEG
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWpa2tF6GpE
繼續觀察他。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGXz4JwAOSH
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfqRj9ULpb8
匆匆數月，秋去冬來，我對許家偉好奇不減。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPVhyacte22
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ZNiaM5Rl7
某天午餐後，我和阿強發現許家偉獨坐操場長椅，於是立即齊齊上前佔據長椅另端，近距離觀察他。他似乎發現我們的奇異目光，動身離開。正感沒趣，阿強發現地上有一個銀包。查看內裡，看見許家偉的學生證。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD3JhAIQ6D0
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXtuy6yu6j9
阿強建議取走內裡金錢和學生證，再將銀包交到校務處。我反對，擔心惹禍上身。阿強問我是否討厭許家偉。我無正面回應，僅是堅持物歸原主。阿強讓步，將銀包遞給我。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNGR10BKNfR
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvbGAn7yYK5
我急步追趕許家偉。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJZs4yEOOvO
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC45yIY6pOz
不明白自己此刻行為。正如阿強所問，我不是討厭許家偉嗎？人前，我一直表達對許家偉的討厭；人後，我曾多次理性分析過自己有沒有討厭他的實質理由。沒有，尤其在我對心儀對象忘情以後。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCjShvkiE6K
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUVdFT5MXbI
奈何留意許家偉經已成為我的習慣。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaZkJHTA27A
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOhYHjiTWEu
遠遠看見他的身影，我自然而然打起十二分精神；聽到心儀對象與好友聊天時提及許家偉，我對他的好奇大於對心儀對象的；走經中五級壁報板，會不經意試找許家偉的名字……486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4R7BuKX1k5
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgJNXPKgERp
「你遺下了銀包。」486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5YDLVk8pMZ
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa4CjZKOmwj
「謝謝。」486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMbITrtIEI0
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLKfIbcWEuq
「不用客氣……」486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkn4gYneHo0
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAS1ovj8Tjd
經已物歸原主。他道謝，我虛應，然後該是沒有然後。但我們還是愣在原地。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoxNbQxpAaC
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoZuEnK254b
該要說甚麼？還需要說甚麼？沒有啊！但我們還是原地愣著。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFX6SpgqIJH
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPNUgfez6gs
他是否一早知道我？他是否早已察覺我在留意他？不會吧……486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrGnfryqwGm
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPl3xkBubWd
我望入他雙眼。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzdrSuV1llF
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgY2jX4zgPh
不。我鐵定他不認識我。他的眼神迷惘疑惑忐忑，似乎在期待甚麼……486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZgWbD8UMYn
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPXjjGPWof7
一名校工在我和許家偉之間走過。我在視線被阻擋當刻回過神來，低頭轉身離開。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI9CsBH4Ymi
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNvMALum8sz
我回到操場側長椅。阿強仍在，問我有否教訓許家偉一頓。我苦笑罵他發神經。阿強收起笑容，認真勸我別壓抑情緒。我說理解許家偉是無辜的，不會繼續討厭他。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsb726qj00P
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcGIlvzboHz
上課鈴聲響起，學生魚貫回課室去。人群中，我在五樓走廊與許家偉迎個正著。他驚訝之情洋溢於表。我反倒開懷笑了，笑他遲鈍，後知後覺。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmRsh21rfnG
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxwZABdrzd6
許家偉臉紅，禮貌地點點頭，上前自我介紹。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNOYzrVPGaL
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaxtkxyNcUD
「我是文班許家偉。」486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Z0xHaL2Fg
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4cKFxpfKHl
「我是理班李浩榮。」486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5TztgTZyX1
畢業多年，我跟李浩榮從未聯絡過——當我這麼講，舊生聚會上人人皆表出乎意料：「你們當年那麼要好，竟然未曾聯絡一次？」486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEvM0Tu8RiX
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf7yb1cJtnG
我笑笑點頭，不多解釋。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkREB8jDN1N
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdWhzH8a8zV
畢業禮當晚，他告訴我，他的心儀對象喜歡我。我問他那女生是誰，我可以當面拒絕她。他說不必，因為他已不愛他。我感到奇怪：如已釋懷，為何重提。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRUAZfHWNbu
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvsgRQ8Mwkd
李浩榮笑笑，笑說他已覺悟，明白人的真正作用。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ95bIkgbS20
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKPCTDxoFSm
聽到這莫名其妙的答案，我就知道他醉了——他喝下很多酒。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbxqXgKemSG
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMbKfWrtC2V
他說人的真正作用就是將另外兩個不相識的人串連在一起，或是把深交的兩個人分開，例如那女生無意間將我帶到他的人生當中，而我又無意間成為他和青梅竹馬鬧翻原因。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjJRUUX8siL
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb4MEsMk8MZ
我大概聽出話裡的話。有點難過，有點無奈，有點害怕——害怕今晚坦白心聲以後，我和李浩榮再無交集。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbP8dI0RbJ5
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAVJnDChRaf
但我沒有阻止他。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX9qptlgqxC
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpR3VCRKMkY
他壓抑已久，情感需要釋放。這很可能是我以朋友身份給他的最後禮物。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEGwVcPWj9k
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4j7JNNWqDF
我慫恿他繼續說下去。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpZ6OCERl57
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUrF28bUgKp
他跟阿強相識於幼稚園。他倆都是頑皮孩子，經常氣得老師向父母投訴，父母夜裡就來一頓痛打。他們經常看到對方手腫腳瘀，起初會擔心對方身體，後來發現彼此不怕捱打，只怕玩得不痛快。相顧輕笑，再玩再捱打……玩著捱著，二人同甘共苦十四年，彼此之間有一種難以言喻的默契——只有阿強看出他非但未曾討厭我，反倒羨慕我的不起眼。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3KCQAKHFjr
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1BrQle5Emc
我好奇李浩榮何解會羨慕不起眼的人。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxuZLDpHtU1
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrW8veb1XNE
「不被注意、不被期望，方能活得自由稱心。」486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzL3jGR46PJ
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Puh7fl4rj
我問他是否有煩惱，可以向我傾訴，也許我能想出好辦法。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZv4ipPpUFg
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvvQROExQWW
李浩榮報以苦笑，沒有正面回答。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwmVCvkEzoD
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFagyhTCT7c
那夜，他喝得爛醉，我送他回家。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡskARqCGdrO
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAjjFck3Bda
伯母應門。是個凶神惡煞的中年婦，語調急促，不帶尾音。她接過李浩榮，留下一句道謝，利落關門。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBcKHMpSpix
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAHZzUlmipB
門關。心頭若有所失——感覺永遠不會再見到李浩榮。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5WKGWRayuF
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWMxzR5Ny0z
其實沒甚麼大不了。這是人生必經的離合過程。不會令我受到任何傷害，亦不會令我蒙受任何損失。著實沒甚麼大不了。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ccONiSOxb
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeij2tp6nL2
但我掛念他。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4bxfqMXhE7
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWFXTSR2Eef
不是偶然想起，不是遇上麻煩、需要向他求助，不是看見眼熟物件進而聯想。沒錯，是真正的掛念——我無法自欺。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyG3JGQRNUf
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ64kNSoHx1
想起他，我不期然會笑；想起他，我感覺窩心；想起他，我會自覺孤單可憐。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhPlex1yIJa
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwRDTGjrzbN
我漸漸意識到這是甚麼一回事。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI7fbTlrXnK
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMb5vpC81Bw
糟糕了！怎麼辦？怎麼辦！不知道。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoSxDYn3WzC
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMGkqWAKiJ5
不要說。不要聽。不要見。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPkNdz2Wo0c
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuIyFPPy8i2
希望時間會沖淡一切。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIsxH6eZqO1
依稀記得畢業翌日在自家客廳梳化醒來的畫面。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ31CYToWH8F
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3KDJuCXurg
首先映入眼簾的是極端的光與暗、黑與白——廳燈沒有亮起，窗外日光耀眼得刺痛，室內與室外亮度差異極大。眼睛無法於短時間內適應，煞是暈眩，有一股酸餿灼熱自胸腔冒升。想吐。沒法吐。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfOuf4qqBeU
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx2wtiilG75
阿媽沒有理會我，背對我在廚房煲湯。她對著湯煲說：「昨晚是他送你回來。」486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡceYmTXX8yp
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8hkVvZ9wrZ
我敵不過暈眩與劇烈頭痛，重新軟癱梳化上。沒回話打算，反正阿媽定會繼續說下去。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbnZvt6AF7G
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL7Pn0wjjGd
「我不明白你為何喜歡他。」486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa0ROBr2QHh
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3EyYxV9DDj
「我也不明白。」486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGuXySLER6L
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxBBHRV7lmW
「那就不要繼續喜歡。」486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbmlfOTUtxY
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjteMypCMsq
「感覺，並非可以自由控制的。」486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzH9G9BBr6B
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡopcOLnrMQp
「我亦無法自由控制我的兒子喜歡誰。」486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfG0ma8co83
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcKndjbqpgy
「我也無法自由選擇誰是我的母親。」486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlH3FCTsITC
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3KoJtxy5An
「真抱歉——未得你同意就把你生下來。」486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIqZorJ3hl9
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKaieuWR7ZK
「你該要對我感到抱歉。」486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyPwVD3qaVh
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH5ryreH5Xa
我晦氣，毫不掩飾對她的討厭。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEgXKIoncNY
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDB5qo6M3p9
阿媽沒再多話，繼續在廚房忙著。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX9fe61W4JR
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMi02q2xDmu
真要命。人生就是那麼多無謂紛擾。我的人生屬於我，為何旁人總愛插手？486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP1JirDJgM2
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3HkxiVMMb7
抵著頭痛，我硬撐起身子小便去。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnWlB3bUKZJ
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfQJiTFZe0d
在抽氣扇綿延不斷的摩打聲襯托下，小便聲清脆得噁心。噁感令我清醒不少，昨晚回憶開始隱約浮現。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU9o1s0IO6V
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrcrDGRYkK9
我似乎講過一些不該出口的話。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxb96AjF293
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiQCAxdrK7g
真的嗎？我真的把話說出口？486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeUA2EYN9nX
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCM5uBmcfS9
為何這麼驚訝？阿強醉倒後，我特意喝下更多酒，不就是為了把話講出口嗎？486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡebyZ4Ng4ZN
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlUAy2D9xef
便意盡，醉意消，騰出來的腦空間被後悔和自責分佔了。我呆上半晌才提起褲子洗手去。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5DdRfsyIRe
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5yDt6xXSjt
為何要走到這一步？486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN8JsQfIfQV
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ3SIVza4BT
阿強早已看出我對許家偉的感情，擔心我走上「歪路」。我有點兒生氣——誰有資格定義這是否歪路。阿強自知沒能說服我，乾脆將觀察所得告訴我媽。性格暴躁的阿媽一反常態，冷靜淡然勸我切勿繼續投放感情。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFFOfejS62Z
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlkUSuRrzyZ
「世人表裡不一。口說開明，實質守舊。」486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFc6nxfc0ZU
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1xiQ3epg4N
「是嗎？你呢？你口說放棄，心底裡在支持我吧？」486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ71HbFG4t60
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVps0PjZE11
「別倔強。」486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeTDRTGiqTB
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwdHQtXmSo5
「我想要知道你的真正想法！別敷衍！別蒙混！」486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3BHbSlpUdP
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXRWhqYYL0y
「我想你放棄。」486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbyBzSgLPWZ
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3MihRTREHy
「原因？」486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0O5kgZGWeH
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhCQp1js6t0
「現實終歸是現實的。你將要面對的困難並非單靠信念、希望和愛情就可以解決。」486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZpzFPD9bSa
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3PT1bUlWqI
「我知道。」486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDfOZxnEpoF
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV67kyE2N3e
「何解還要繼續下去？」486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ89GSzqYVia
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1GKeUeNu85
「感情易放難收。」486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO9H10Tu6Zo
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0yE1xeGpM7
阿媽沒法回嘴——「感情」一詞明確否定了邏輯和理智，她還有何話可說，只得被動地待我回心轉意。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg6kzpaYLpo
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLwZ7fYV2B9
傍晚，我約見阿強，在公園暗處與他打一架。我們手腫腳瘀，有如兒時被父母教訓一樣。看著彼此頹喪模樣，我既心痛亦生氣——我們的友誼不該淪落至此！我們該可以當一輩子兄弟手足！486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnzftEbXSCq
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLFRByEkdDz
架後，我沒有留下片言隻字，待身體稍稍恢復後首先離開回家去，懶理阿強依然躺在草地上粗喘不已。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLGPCgdz4Mh
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkYK0PC9z2A
阿媽見我身上有傷，許是大概明白那是甚麼一回事，沒有多問，亦不予關心。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuYpW2sKZWi
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM7A0gbRvMU
我不在意，一心思考如何在畢業禮當晚向許家偉表白……486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXl7uEZjG3D
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsJYemtFOcG
畢業禮，是終結也是新開始。學生們穿戴整齊，戰戰兢兢上台領受證書。莘莘學子前途未卜，能夠掌握在手的只有當下。今朝有酒今朝醉，齊齊喝酒齊齊醉。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9skrOlg0uA
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZl8SZdhueY
阿強取來一支烈酒，邀我對飲：「追求真愛不是那麼容易。至少要比我更能喝。」486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ01c8Yhm7KK
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl6DEBytVBC
我欣然接受。他很了解我，許是估計到我將會乘著酒意找許家偉表白去。我唯一擺脫阿強的方法就是先把他灌醉。我們都不是省油的燈，自小經常一起偷偷喝酒，十分清楚對方酒量和醉態——一旦倒下，沒有廿四小時可醒不過來。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8sCHDm8nwd
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnI4K4CRxIx
小醉。半醉。大醉。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfryNxBFS3u
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdBMMP02bd4
阿強半伏枱邊，傻笑問我：「想好如何表白了沒？」486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzGO8BVOJgD
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbaTDjavZ2p
「直接講我愛他。」486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡznoMhgvQY6
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ13vz0RcRAP
「如果他拒絕？」486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ9uuXvCn8O
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlnl8EwEKHg
「沒怎麼樣。就像我之前被女同學拒絕那樣。」486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzNbSBM1OqO
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlgA0ksn6yg
「如果他接受了？那怎麼辦？」486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxDraeBE6oy
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI6yBIhtxcS
「我當然是高興！」486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEMVHbGHz01
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUBpOo1lkb6
「我在問，他會怎麼辦？你認為他的內心強大得能夠與你共同面對往後一切？」486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5mki0Msupd
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZC96VKCB78
阿強問了一個我沒有想及的問題。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ57zXQLX8N
事隔四十年，我和李浩榮在阿強的喪禮上再次聚頭。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsGkNwcHqny
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5afbuwDiYd
李浩榮說他在畢業禮後與阿強斷絕了聯絡。我為此道歉。他問我為何道歉。我重提他酒後那段說話。他反問我是否真的認為過錯在我。我答不肯定——我無心令他們鬧翻，但我確是他們鬧翻的原因。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ91j5KnoBJ8
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZfCskIqdJL
李浩榮苦笑，笑容意味深長。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTPBNl4B227
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlJCzsMSjRx
「阿強沒講錯。你真懦弱。」486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdnZVvy2YZy
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsZj8zdzJlN
「活了那麼多年，經歷那麼多事情，我不得不承認自己的懦弱。」486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoE2rRa3esx
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb5tZjHYXBp
「你仍然單身？」486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ919mGhi5Bu
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw6i402wC79
「是的。」486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ70QDCNFslC
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdXKMp5b30I
「要我當媒嗎？」486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqKLiPjl1JU
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGPXqc0Eots
「不了。難為情。」486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOjibaYgj1K
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHoUCWe6wm4
李浩榮失笑，笑我不值得被愛。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbYsaupZeQA
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8heIzWdRz8
我陪笑，笑說我懂得珍愛自己就可以。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPCwsFxuOro
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUBP8B87KHt
多寒暄幾句，我和李浩榮相互道別，分道揚鑣不復見。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzxCCoDD0LM
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡazwY2DUXRY
抬頭望天，天陰雨冷，冷入心脾。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv8XebgUDbc
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc8ga97b2cm
回家吧。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡicBUicx5HU
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1eTbUuY8YP
開門。門後空洞空虛空蕩蕩。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN6udSGiOwR
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL7INAAHQ7V
「戚戚慘慘悽悽，清清冷冷，覓覓尋尋。」興之所至，我一邊脫鞋，一邊倒背《聲聲慢》首三句。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMhFz9vWSN6
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZrTcFKrA0f
「尋他千百度，驀然回首，那人卻在燈火闌珊處。」沒有脫襪，懶洋洋得撲到梳化上，順口接上《青玉案．元夕》末句。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5qwSUQPdaM
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡABXsgMKKkK
枕臂望窗，映入眼簾的是極端的光與暗、黑與白——廳燈沒有亮起，窗外日光耀眼得刺痛，室內與室外亮度差異極大。驀地憶起日光照在他臉營造出來的明暗，憶起他的臉容氣質，憶起那抹笑容。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ98Mi1QBOl1
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIHNUALc88r
大概是一見鍾情吧。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2TopKEdxOT
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqt28mhCbP1
奈何我當年愚鈍懵懂，後知後覺。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCxXKk67FJn
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9sMvd6cmFk
如果我當年及早清楚知道自己的意向，結果會否不一樣？486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNNM8cpJ3E3
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡShX3Oo40kS
我笑自己想多了：結果會是一樣的。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS7pIFpYbMv
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCWcoxoo80c
我是懦弱的人，我珍愛自己，所以我不會為他人冒險。我寧願花上一輩子去幻想錯過了的美好愛情，亦不會勇敢踏前一步去追求愛情。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy7s60kz3zF
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYUQlOZJt1Y
李浩榮說得沒錯，我不值得被愛。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXSoVe6qPjd
事隔四十年，昔日摯友躺在棺材裡，往日心上人站在我面前。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxfIrlVUfQF
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOWQgOjvfzK
百感交集……486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Xo7X2S3KF
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrdHHyCn4Bb
當年我為了許家偉與阿強鬧翻，事後亦沒敢聯絡許家偉。同時失去摯友和心上人，情感上的痛令我失眠了好幾年。那時候，還以為痛楚會一直維持下去，有如浪漫淒美感人的愛情電影情節。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU6E7YFh1Yg
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqMAh8pjaHM
不過電影終究與現實不同：角色的難忘遭遇濃縮在短短一個半小時裡，情感故此顯得激烈而深刻；現實中的情感必須經過時間洗禮和加入許多愛情以外因素，例如家庭、工作、健康、個人財政等等。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTBH055mnf1
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIvQHGYpsWg
痛楚自然而然被淡化掉。我漸漸忘了阿強的忠肝義膽和許家偉的獨特魅力，直至今日再聚……486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtvdiEXaFjm
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfeJ9BM8os4
「認得我嗎？我是許家偉。」486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWvJozUCPFJ
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡolwNSXGyGF
「認得。你是文班的。」486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIQFKicacsi
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSxh6P4YjyS
許家偉淺笑，笑容如昔，淡然清雅溫婉。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7IQ9PN51vB
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmfvT7th0g1
閒聊之間，發現他仍然單身。究其原因，他只道難為情。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV4oPaZBjI1
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBvV1i91iHc
「你不值得被愛。」我蔑笑。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDNzxoawWOv
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnN4tAUO0rB
四十年過去，許家偉仍是當初那個許家偉。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡss0EWBkbGr
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡohiHQEHmyX
阿強沒講錯——他的內心不會強大得能夠與我共同面對一切。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡctnijdA3tD
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvtLbIb5HwK
「我懂得珍愛自己就可以。」許家偉笑著說。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTg420qzAC8
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH1mY8jVjX2
許家偉在認真？他真心認為這是珍愛自己的行徑？486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEOUOjD16Fl
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP06hBsW76r
我哭笑不得。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxzu2iviFE4
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvYEKbU7WI2
無意跟他繼續對話。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOOP0O0kJSi
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSP4K7K4Bjo
多寒暄幾句，我和許家偉相互道別，分道揚鑣不復見。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1FBygMgtv1
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfG3N49PXZp
抬頭望天，天陰雨冷，冷入心脾。
然後按「加至主畫面」