午餐用膳後，男生們大多會將多餘時間花在學校操場，或場上打籃球，或場外觀賽。我亦不例外，在場邊與同學輕聲討論打球技巧。忘形之際，一個籃球高速自後側飛來，狠狠砸中我右耳耳背。場中男生上前向我連聲道歉，我只道不要緊。男生拾球後繼續回場較勁，沒把事情放心上。當然，我也沒所謂，小事一椿。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWiGlDPUnha
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsZClDcdvMT
令我在意的反倒是球場另邊有個陌生男生對我微笑。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRth6ZDy2Y9
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKxKYxTR1HS
匆匆一笑，半秒即逝。他轉頭跟身邊友人繼續說說笑笑。我挺肯定自己想多了——對方不是故意對著我笑，僅是他的站立姿勢及面向角度湊巧朝著我這邊來。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd5cGOJWgfw
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2fBbc8bAUc
但我還是記住了那抹笑容，記住了他的臉容氣質，記住日光照在他臉營造出來的明暗。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzhGwE9hj0d
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrLlZTyw9Vy
為何記住？我解釋不了。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQFfSEZDVRl
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRqvxnCY4x3
好幾個月過去，夏天轉換為冬。颯颯寒風成功減少場邊女生數目，男生仍然在此閒聊逛蕩。同行朋友忽爾興起，動身到場裡打球。我笑笑婉拒，說吃飽想睡不想動。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSB0E27jgPq
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdMa7xES9Nl
我獨坐長椅一邊，納悶之際，兩個男生前來佔坐長椅另端空位。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcYKMmvBEvQ
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9tkaQHPci3
其中一個是他。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTtFavTg34i
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOikSDjbiVk
那笑那臉那明暗，歷歷在目。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPrMlJJPjqi
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPaY6aV0Avn
心頭一顫，我馬上別過臉去。數秒後，我稍為冷靜，意識到自己的失態，佯裝無異，繼續觀看球賽。不過他似乎察覺我的異樣，有意無意對我展露笑容——一個意味深長的笑容。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXj1iU54Pyn
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY5A0bj1rwU
我尷尬離座回課室去。走樓梯至三樓時，他竟從後叫住我。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM82sskA1oY
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8hqPzjGu1g
「你遺下銀包。」827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlz4LJQxocI
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvhnLYTWy7W
「謝謝。」827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdGFZwF0Zs1
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7D3S88F8ph
「不用客氣……」827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQwb0h0YXVp
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoLTnjgLWWA
奇怪。看他忸怩模樣，他似乎還有話要對我說。說甚麼？不是必須相識的陌生人可以如何打開話題？甚或是「為何要展開話題」？827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdIjeigXcKG
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBb2ADCpQZJ
氣氛尷尬，四目交投，卻不知如何是好。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ2O9j11C4m
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTH6EvpsATA
直至提著半滿水桶和微濕地拖的校工在我倆之間經過，彼此才回過神來，甚有默契同時分別從兩個方向離開。我往上，他往下。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWZDtmA2CjI
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR0AA4YKR62
誰料在午飯時間完結後，我們還是在五樓走廊再次碰面——原來我們都是中五生。由於班別不同、社交圈子不重疊，所以未曾正式認識。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0i89kHXFQj
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxpJAs0YSDz
不要緊。現在互相自我介紹就可以。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVXwPV3TzQG
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPLRfiXEvlM
「我是文班許家偉。」827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvblcxYizYu
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUavvs9MOlv
「我是理班李浩榮。」827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVROtq3sSri
其實我早已知道許家偉。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVYLtPPI6JQ
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBHbYGHUkYg
我心儀對象就是喜歡許家偉。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRliok1Vanw
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBi73dTfhz5
被拒絕的心情久久不散。我開始留意許家偉這個人。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq55dbBlikv
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdTNhC4iLo6
拜託阿強向文班生打探有關許家偉的事。某文班生說許家偉無啥特別，亦無專長或短處，是個存在感不強的乖學生。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF85VIphoYT
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS6lxdDYpEq
我不明所以——為何心儀對象看上他？827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6hLHrTE5Fn
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu4fx6xryay
不是認為心儀對象定要接受我或是對方必須比我優勝，只是我真的找不到許家偉有何可愛之處。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVKD7HcytZW
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvGhHukZcsx
不服氣。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCCH3F8ve1w
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSQXkDAmR0b
繼續觀察他。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ85VZj7IgCm
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWLJUsLIhix
匆匆數月，秋去冬來，我對許家偉好奇不減。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF8uJtbhiwV
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvTIfnqq6FA
某天午餐後，我和阿強發現許家偉獨坐操場長椅，於是立即齊齊上前佔據長椅另端，近距離觀察他。他似乎發現我們的奇異目光，動身離開。正感沒趣，阿強發現地上有一個銀包。查看內裡，看見許家偉的學生證。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrntEbeWrBd
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAdexo03LWq
阿強建議取走內裡金錢和學生證，再將銀包交到校務處。我反對，擔心惹禍上身。阿強問我是否討厭許家偉。我無正面回應，僅是堅持物歸原主。阿強讓步，將銀包遞給我。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9rgTL5pfEd
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZvfhhn1sDY
我急步追趕許家偉。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeb9sSbJ1qh
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsvuQPM5b1Q
不明白自己此刻行為。正如阿強所問，我不是討厭許家偉嗎？人前，我一直表達對許家偉的討厭；人後，我曾多次理性分析過自己有沒有討厭他的實質理由。沒有，尤其在我對心儀對象忘情以後。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ88KF8ayaU6
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlWxjJKOArn
奈何留意許家偉經已成為我的習慣。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh6zyTG0RtO
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡESmcjWQhQV
遠遠看見他的身影，我自然而然打起十二分精神；聽到心儀對象與好友聊天時提及許家偉，我對他的好奇大於對心儀對象的；走經中五級壁報板，會不經意試找許家偉的名字……827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC8OkNil0US
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmdWhhlSsoz
「你遺下了銀包。」827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5iy4fO9nPo
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqdAavJDla8
「謝謝。」827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ53CUGgWuzy
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk7ZH82z1lw
「不用客氣……」827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtkiNPWaxRB
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw857oKBF1H
經已物歸原主。他道謝，我虛應，然後該是沒有然後。但我們還是愣在原地。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbAAkJRAukT
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlaCXuLPJzq
該要說甚麼？還需要說甚麼？沒有啊！但我們還是原地愣著。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhVbltranh3
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAp39kNY0mS
他是否一早知道我？他是否早已察覺我在留意他？不會吧……827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwpZlzqxVVg
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDwQj7IGav2
我望入他雙眼。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡesIPJ4wK8Q
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDUqslQScO4
不。我鐵定他不認識我。他的眼神迷惘疑惑忐忑，似乎在期待甚麼……827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWW9QdmsA3c
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5jbXywO0OW
一名校工在我和許家偉之間走過。我在視線被阻擋當刻回過神來，低頭轉身離開。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDM7Pn3DHbR
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡASd2gw2XLv
我回到操場側長椅。阿強仍在，問我有否教訓許家偉一頓。我苦笑罵他發神經。阿強收起笑容，認真勸我別壓抑情緒。我說理解許家偉是無辜的，不會繼續討厭他。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpOOd31Nrfo
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCwH8Zy3fou
上課鈴聲響起，學生魚貫回課室去。人群中，我在五樓走廊與許家偉迎個正著。他驚訝之情洋溢於表。我反倒開懷笑了，笑他遲鈍，後知後覺。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPHbSFJe8nw
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQanWXy2u7n
許家偉臉紅，禮貌地點點頭，上前自我介紹。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBch06V6c7i
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDThsg05GXq
「我是文班許家偉。」827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRCvgzvyuME
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQcjuTV1iL9
「我是理班李浩榮。」827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi1RuDuDPfL
畢業多年，我跟李浩榮從未聯絡過——當我這麼講，舊生聚會上人人皆表出乎意料：「你們當年那麼要好，竟然未曾聯絡一次？」827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsiqy9fMSop
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVSPzozcpZH
我笑笑點頭，不多解釋。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu15tM0gO7Q
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr8NHL3aUfO
畢業禮當晚，他告訴我，他的心儀對象喜歡我。我問他那女生是誰，我可以當面拒絕她。他說不必，因為他已不愛他。我感到奇怪：如已釋懷，為何重提。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7P85W15M5h
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzSxFS1bFpj
李浩榮笑笑，笑說他已覺悟，明白人的真正作用。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhOxerlN81e
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEy1LRLsmEu
聽到這莫名其妙的答案，我就知道他醉了——他喝下很多酒。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8pQwlbdDE2
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡokzjUA1AbD
他說人的真正作用就是將另外兩個不相識的人串連在一起，或是把深交的兩個人分開，例如那女生無意間將我帶到他的人生當中，而我又無意間成為他和青梅竹馬鬧翻原因。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMq9h9dYXeB
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3T7u9V8PMt
我大概聽出話裡的話。有點難過，有點無奈，有點害怕——害怕今晚坦白心聲以後，我和李浩榮再無交集。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOVnKdaZwA8
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmEwcqWdGzI
但我沒有阻止他。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0mfCnsy0NG
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxJJmkM6Q2U
他壓抑已久，情感需要釋放。這很可能是我以朋友身份給他的最後禮物。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNUviolzkbG
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRLyQjty9tX
我慫恿他繼續說下去。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWn3qdL2hl7
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR6UP5HMZV4
他跟阿強相識於幼稚園。他倆都是頑皮孩子，經常氣得老師向父母投訴，父母夜裡就來一頓痛打。他們經常看到對方手腫腳瘀，起初會擔心對方身體，後來發現彼此不怕捱打，只怕玩得不痛快。相顧輕笑，再玩再捱打……玩著捱著，二人同甘共苦十四年，彼此之間有一種難以言喻的默契——只有阿強看出他非但未曾討厭我，反倒羨慕我的不起眼。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxqQx9Vr7fp
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqU28UCyI89
我好奇李浩榮何解會羨慕不起眼的人。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXdr3042MvT
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ3IHwA78qS
「不被注意、不被期望，方能活得自由稱心。」827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQvodfEOK01
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaCUa32CBMd
我問他是否有煩惱，可以向我傾訴，也許我能想出好辦法。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzAgnas9Oq4
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzkRB5gkNfu
李浩榮報以苦笑，沒有正面回答。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD4SsoZrGbL
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSR2zal5IM1
那夜，他喝得爛醉，我送他回家。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡodT23Tgczp
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeyw2Lk637w
伯母應門。是個凶神惡煞的中年婦，語調急促，不帶尾音。她接過李浩榮，留下一句道謝，利落關門。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlsx8QwZEKd
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp4XiMoOTP6
門關。心頭若有所失——感覺永遠不會再見到李浩榮。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8IFk0cf2Ql
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHa0dd6HfHk
其實沒甚麼大不了。這是人生必經的離合過程。不會令我受到任何傷害，亦不會令我蒙受任何損失。著實沒甚麼大不了。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjdLKOkx233
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG9b1ZcDZBh
但我掛念他。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsLeUz0hArN
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKbYx3uVAck
不是偶然想起，不是遇上麻煩、需要向他求助，不是看見眼熟物件進而聯想。沒錯，是真正的掛念——我無法自欺。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ73G6TUs3H8
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6sCnMO7xiq
想起他，我不期然會笑；想起他，我感覺窩心；想起他，我會自覺孤單可憐。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE1faqYvuvv
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoH1NoRz9ko
我漸漸意識到這是甚麼一回事。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA7jhxPmB12
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2k3WjwvVtr
糟糕了！怎麼辦？怎麼辦！不知道。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrVeAYSYKHz
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVVpSfkfQlC
不要說。不要聽。不要見。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3QUvEYAGGu
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpAbLJqW7WJ
希望時間會沖淡一切。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOBhnm6Ewc4
依稀記得畢業翌日在自家客廳梳化醒來的畫面。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9gBhKgyDgv
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIwFVZdhZXZ
首先映入眼簾的是極端的光與暗、黑與白——廳燈沒有亮起，窗外日光耀眼得刺痛，室內與室外亮度差異極大。眼睛無法於短時間內適應，煞是暈眩，有一股酸餿灼熱自胸腔冒升。想吐。沒法吐。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7FHkNdLtzw
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKLsJgLA1Ib
阿媽沒有理會我，背對我在廚房煲湯。她對著湯煲說：「昨晚是他送你回來。」827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqn5UmBvShF
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡezIiGE2Ghh
我敵不過暈眩與劇烈頭痛，重新軟癱梳化上。沒回話打算，反正阿媽定會繼續說下去。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYV2cBbCr6K
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡatOlbWiebr
「我不明白你為何喜歡他。」827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHV6tSA6lvV
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlLYTHWjFX8
「我也不明白。」827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbOx9Z8QC0N
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI4jEedBQ6t
「那就不要繼續喜歡。」827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDpIjo38fT0
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBMbeuvXOkH
「感覺，並非可以自由控制的。」827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKEutGnf9Ys
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHRaUZWzvtS
「我亦無法自由控制我的兒子喜歡誰。」827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLkKj8ti3HQ
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBiaM5geHJJ
「我也無法自由選擇誰是我的母親。」827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbGbE7AxTyS
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYbXMCzhJyw
「真抱歉——未得你同意就把你生下來。」827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiqr2PuaWVc
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡodHaiQPJYA
「你該要對我感到抱歉。」827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD3eB0VbDZ9
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6lYRbmE4Ns
我晦氣，毫不掩飾對她的討厭。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNpetrOXBub
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfK2Z3hfg6S
阿媽沒再多話，繼續在廚房忙著。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXJKbuvJYx6
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeuH2lUdTT0
真要命。人生就是那麼多無謂紛擾。我的人生屬於我，為何旁人總愛插手？827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTMOV4OBpX6
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr35CYBOXyg
抵著頭痛，我硬撐起身子小便去。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZUyRLjRR1I
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡefhTULgVqu
在抽氣扇綿延不斷的摩打聲襯托下，小便聲清脆得噁心。噁感令我清醒不少，昨晚回憶開始隱約浮現。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoqzsnAUnIR
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkUaU1pQuZi
我似乎講過一些不該出口的話。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡClyOLEJ565
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ5eR7wFq3V
真的嗎？我真的把話說出口？827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNhWyvlDQgJ
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnzXJ7dSxya
為何這麼驚訝？阿強醉倒後，我特意喝下更多酒，不就是為了把話講出口嗎？827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR7oMNB1eGw
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxqu3RlBmSb
便意盡，醉意消，騰出來的腦空間被後悔和自責分佔了。我呆上半晌才提起褲子洗手去。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKBCzBxE1SB
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8gGryayt39
為何要走到這一步？827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNst7CP5Io0
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvq5b8MY6oK
阿強早已看出我對許家偉的感情，擔心我走上「歪路」。我有點兒生氣——誰有資格定義這是否歪路。阿強自知沒能說服我，乾脆將觀察所得告訴我媽。性格暴躁的阿媽一反常態，冷靜淡然勸我切勿繼續投放感情。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEfO3UAMtOI
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmAT6NP1koa
「世人表裡不一。口說開明，實質守舊。」827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcBjSVEeKTH
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8SJxu0NRbX
「是嗎？你呢？你口說放棄，心底裡在支持我吧？」827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgxmrAPhA9y
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcJKM2ixF6K
「別倔強。」827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjr0BM335B0
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhtB7qq5Mx9
「我想要知道你的真正想法！別敷衍！別蒙混！」827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyrrdjdOnmp
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeAUFeKeKtn
「我想你放棄。」827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVYHOfjxbVF
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4hOJUQHh7w
「原因？」827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXlJWiLfRrw
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9k4eEYU1dl
「現實終歸是現實的。你將要面對的困難並非單靠信念、希望和愛情就可以解決。」827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYfyl0SVCJl
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgpXtIQr28W
「我知道。」827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWgq0a9E6Y2
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ63Pu8tiE1H
「何解還要繼續下去？」827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQffUeYkesR
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡalUoGql5Un
「感情易放難收。」827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVC3kv8LAMm
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcHXw48Ce4z
阿媽沒法回嘴——「感情」一詞明確否定了邏輯和理智，她還有何話可說，只得被動地待我回心轉意。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP1znKL4jps
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo72S94kQ3m
傍晚，我約見阿強，在公園暗處與他打一架。我們手腫腳瘀，有如兒時被父母教訓一樣。看著彼此頹喪模樣，我既心痛亦生氣——我們的友誼不該淪落至此！我們該可以當一輩子兄弟手足！827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxkT0lLcROt
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVQKZTIkCiV
架後，我沒有留下片言隻字，待身體稍稍恢復後首先離開回家去，懶理阿強依然躺在草地上粗喘不已。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2eBcGuJq8X
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUCu9Zy3Thz
阿媽見我身上有傷，許是大概明白那是甚麼一回事，沒有多問，亦不予關心。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3DSIijwkxl
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7UHHnssySt
我不在意，一心思考如何在畢業禮當晚向許家偉表白……827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXEo29VxHsg
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6n3AJWhiTi
畢業禮，是終結也是新開始。學生們穿戴整齊，戰戰兢兢上台領受證書。莘莘學子前途未卜，能夠掌握在手的只有當下。今朝有酒今朝醉，齊齊喝酒齊齊醉。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqnez69Wufz
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPWYaA6pY00
阿強取來一支烈酒，邀我對飲：「追求真愛不是那麼容易。至少要比我更能喝。」827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Vf5nzpwj9
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ57IV9StbQf
我欣然接受。他很了解我，許是估計到我將會乘著酒意找許家偉表白去。我唯一擺脫阿強的方法就是先把他灌醉。我們都不是省油的燈，自小經常一起偷偷喝酒，十分清楚對方酒量和醉態——一旦倒下，沒有廿四小時可醒不過來。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvaXErg1c7x
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeCux6Pw3uH
小醉。半醉。大醉。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyn488WPGuw
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXQ2M7X2Fci
阿強半伏枱邊，傻笑問我：「想好如何表白了沒？」827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLxLTEpUt9s
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyJxNhfmX0T
「直接講我愛他。」827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ30VN2qCBqi
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd7mvhsVz5Q
「如果他拒絕？」827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJfhmtxndQ1
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzIvVqpO7Ir
「沒怎麼樣。就像我之前被女同學拒絕那樣。」827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN22sjRpxUr
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtkMVmaSFYY
「如果他接受了？那怎麼辦？」827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyGJ87KiyaO
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIJvghhEKnq
「我當然是高興！」827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRW8pkAQlEE
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcPjQWSwO7A
「我在問，他會怎麼辦？你認為他的內心強大得能夠與你共同面對往後一切？」827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVWEuLNJlel
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrrGUcx7clh
阿強問了一個我沒有想及的問題。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsyHKPAqHKD
事隔四十年，我和李浩榮在阿強的喪禮上再次聚頭。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqr2e1u8Oq1
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Vq1Vube7l
李浩榮說他在畢業禮後與阿強斷絕了聯絡。我為此道歉。他問我為何道歉。我重提他酒後那段說話。他反問我是否真的認為過錯在我。我答不肯定——我無心令他們鬧翻，但我確是他們鬧翻的原因。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAPJ3yuSGCE
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡneRfdMT4ei
李浩榮苦笑，笑容意味深長。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJwyG01qsc0
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlnSpRv54tq
「阿強沒講錯。你真懦弱。」827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAejvv2n96y
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQq5sL9llTV
「活了那麼多年，經歷那麼多事情，我不得不承認自己的懦弱。」827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSmPMcNbSuS
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9wAPk3sPBp
「你仍然單身？」827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOPDcsSYA1H
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeor8IBg2C7
「是的。」827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0WvrDl49BG
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPTL7JCH2ZQ
「要我當媒嗎？」827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdNs69Kzu00
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqvzmXfD6rD
「不了。難為情。」827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAGOx51ADHg
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQO7NKOIR0y
李浩榮失笑，笑我不值得被愛。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR1YuxaNkm9
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUF9PYLxJH2
我陪笑，笑說我懂得珍愛自己就可以。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlxPKLybPeL
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5NqulrwU6p
多寒暄幾句，我和李浩榮相互道別，分道揚鑣不復見。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcpJFXZwZDb
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh3iUI2XMg8
抬頭望天，天陰雨冷，冷入心脾。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTpo2QIYTIl
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD4BepmmCRn
回家吧。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHyLF49riCS
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk7yhUXw5Ik
開門。門後空洞空虛空蕩蕩。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbkPrchVBjp
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzsfa4WKd3c
「戚戚慘慘悽悽，清清冷冷，覓覓尋尋。」興之所至，我一邊脫鞋，一邊倒背《聲聲慢》首三句。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY3LyOAlCx0
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUsaGRP5aES
「尋他千百度，驀然回首，那人卻在燈火闌珊處。」沒有脫襪，懶洋洋得撲到梳化上，順口接上《青玉案．元夕》末句。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1iGbjCXSLy
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs7U7w8orSp
枕臂望窗，映入眼簾的是極端的光與暗、黑與白——廳燈沒有亮起，窗外日光耀眼得刺痛，室內與室外亮度差異極大。驀地憶起日光照在他臉營造出來的明暗，憶起他的臉容氣質，憶起那抹笑容。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIPjAnyRkd6
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuoJkwgm4eM
大概是一見鍾情吧。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ19GtCopUoA
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYUUsl9UhTZ
奈何我當年愚鈍懵懂，後知後覺。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfdLY8VrWC9
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAjsSErN3rI
如果我當年及早清楚知道自己的意向，結果會否不一樣？827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4jIQghkhzC
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFu2JtsId8x
我笑自己想多了：結果會是一樣的。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Lxn4Txnk6
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQWpLKgJ5Ql
我是懦弱的人，我珍愛自己，所以我不會為他人冒險。我寧願花上一輩子去幻想錯過了的美好愛情，亦不會勇敢踏前一步去追求愛情。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6z4INIvA1L
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsdX0Br3rfE
李浩榮說得沒錯，我不值得被愛。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSqVdlkZyIY
事隔四十年，昔日摯友躺在棺材裡，往日心上人站在我面前。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZLXhxWBwTD
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLmFrEfZY84
百感交集……827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTqyre8gLlH
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdhf9gj00el
當年我為了許家偉與阿強鬧翻，事後亦沒敢聯絡許家偉。同時失去摯友和心上人，情感上的痛令我失眠了好幾年。那時候，還以為痛楚會一直維持下去，有如浪漫淒美感人的愛情電影情節。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaKCzclW9AE
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv9KMRYZAjy
不過電影終究與現實不同：角色的難忘遭遇濃縮在短短一個半小時裡，情感故此顯得激烈而深刻；現實中的情感必須經過時間洗禮和加入許多愛情以外因素，例如家庭、工作、健康、個人財政等等。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbqIINpLQqA
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV1IP4eOrqt
痛楚自然而然被淡化掉。我漸漸忘了阿強的忠肝義膽和許家偉的獨特魅力，直至今日再聚……827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡveZvA0pTi1
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡycglU5IyZh
「認得我嗎？我是許家偉。」827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqMMT3FkrdV
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkfEM21wC3a
「認得。你是文班的。」827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeuaU0JQlPu
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlTxkkAJs58
許家偉淺笑，笑容如昔，淡然清雅溫婉。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgmyTFF20O5
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6LTBixEQP5
閒聊之間，發現他仍然單身。究其原因，他只道難為情。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBMEPMrxo7M
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcnB7q1sITR
「你不值得被愛。」我蔑笑。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnCm3KAcVyC
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlFGNrmoreV
四十年過去，許家偉仍是當初那個許家偉。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu3ZKCmDEvr
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNTu88E1tvh
阿強沒講錯——他的內心不會強大得能夠與我共同面對一切。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW1G3hiqKWs
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiyEc5ik9CJ
「我懂得珍愛自己就可以。」許家偉笑著說。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt5sZF7IQvF
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaHqMkpGgyM
許家偉在認真？他真心認為這是珍愛自己的行徑？827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4a7ilptyiD
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhIuhz15kGX
我哭笑不得。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡANWrpIzD6V
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ706TiJQUW7
無意跟他繼續對話。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiZpqoPznzP
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDgyuF9DM1G
多寒暄幾句，我和許家偉相互道別，分道揚鑣不復見。827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHFyvvr6zoc
827Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtaPRJfPTyk
抬頭望天，天陰雨冷，冷入心脾。
and then Add to home screen.