午餐用膳後，男生們大多會將多餘時間花在學校操場，或場上打籃球，或場外觀賽。我亦不例外，在場邊與同學輕聲討論打球技巧。忘形之際，一個籃球高速自後側飛來，狠狠砸中我右耳耳背。場中男生上前向我連聲道歉，我只道不要緊。男生拾球後繼續回場較勁，沒把事情放心上。當然，我也沒所謂，小事一椿。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKYM4aF71Np
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF0uT2SC4hY
令我在意的反倒是球場另邊有個陌生男生對我微笑。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzrOcACPrdo
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkBgoFs4c1B
匆匆一笑，半秒即逝。他轉頭跟身邊友人繼續說說笑笑。我挺肯定自己想多了——對方不是故意對著我笑，僅是他的站立姿勢及面向角度湊巧朝著我這邊來。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2rOdsEIKJH
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNF3t9YOkxb
但我還是記住了那抹笑容，記住了他的臉容氣質，記住日光照在他臉營造出來的明暗。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLKCKvV6vcZ
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmZidMX7KWS
為何記住？我解釋不了。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7fuB6waVYY
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1wVSpVEKxu
好幾個月過去，夏天轉換為冬。颯颯寒風成功減少場邊女生數目，男生仍然在此閒聊逛蕩。同行朋友忽爾興起，動身到場裡打球。我笑笑婉拒，說吃飽想睡不想動。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDjpNp2t09x
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnI461c9zaS
我獨坐長椅一邊，納悶之際，兩個男生前來佔坐長椅另端空位。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmfnPhVmUeh
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAgMaUMf7gx
其中一個是他。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡECfuC3U1mB
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh6ZpBMxqHg
那笑那臉那明暗，歷歷在目。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAWKtWAJ0tZ
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb9uY0w0yiV
心頭一顫，我馬上別過臉去。數秒後，我稍為冷靜，意識到自己的失態，佯裝無異，繼續觀看球賽。不過他似乎察覺我的異樣，有意無意對我展露笑容——一個意味深長的笑容。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ07oSyjzWbt
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfkDdAgKSRk
我尷尬離座回課室去。走樓梯至三樓時，他竟從後叫住我。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9tMzdHlPu1
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiezDStnBSz
「你遺下銀包。」625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ32ZJnDIBxk
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc4i91i6Fx1
「謝謝。」625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ46TsazGhWe
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8FU75Rb2fy
「不用客氣……」625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡufHKdXh8Ly
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG0nXJH2YvL
奇怪。看他忸怩模樣，他似乎還有話要對我說。說甚麼？不是必須相識的陌生人可以如何打開話題？甚或是「為何要展開話題」？625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnHOy7wHtqm
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5OW4bzQHWr
氣氛尷尬，四目交投，卻不知如何是好。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxETxyfUVik
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0q5vlDd8cu
直至提著半滿水桶和微濕地拖的校工在我倆之間經過，彼此才回過神來，甚有默契同時分別從兩個方向離開。我往上，他往下。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5uJeNoYzfe
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbls4oZFNnr
誰料在午飯時間完結後，我們還是在五樓走廊再次碰面——原來我們都是中五生。由於班別不同、社交圈子不重疊，所以未曾正式認識。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgkG24z2irV
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtd2w4CLJfa
不要緊。現在互相自我介紹就可以。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV433BXY9en
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAkzVhmNySp
「我是文班許家偉。」625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyrodJrvq8U
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxHXNmHDyTT
「我是理班李浩榮。」625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7tOKhs1Uzp
其實我早已知道許家偉。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOr3Js63Kpu
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡePVsFvRtEI
我心儀對象就是喜歡許家偉。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡojOmqCcxLH
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSx1yGcf0Z0
被拒絕的心情久久不散。我開始留意許家偉這個人。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlEV7wmCnpv
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJkP9kAz5wf
拜託阿強向文班生打探有關許家偉的事。某文班生說許家偉無啥特別，亦無專長或短處，是個存在感不強的乖學生。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi7rEOm94nz
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeASp9NtflQ
我不明所以——為何心儀對象看上他？625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMgJX5fbirO
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡimOK19MIwR
不是認為心儀對象定要接受我或是對方必須比我優勝，只是我真的找不到許家偉有何可愛之處。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGVjak77DNG
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYXhfuxZwoy
不服氣。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCchbbj6ips
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡReXy02YK6n
繼續觀察他。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQITZi7k58y
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcEz3gfxZov
匆匆數月，秋去冬來，我對許家偉好奇不減。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwmJZnVPvm6
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgjlPWYNpFF
某天午餐後，我和阿強發現許家偉獨坐操場長椅，於是立即齊齊上前佔據長椅另端，近距離觀察他。他似乎發現我們的奇異目光，動身離開。正感沒趣，阿強發現地上有一個銀包。查看內裡，看見許家偉的學生證。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbyOWvYxmSP
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ155p7iAThK
阿強建議取走內裡金錢和學生證，再將銀包交到校務處。我反對，擔心惹禍上身。阿強問我是否討厭許家偉。我無正面回應，僅是堅持物歸原主。阿強讓步，將銀包遞給我。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh9cdYlou96
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKBHko5wJ9S
我急步追趕許家偉。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI8eDPQlrIA
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGbJfQuSwlu
不明白自己此刻行為。正如阿強所問，我不是討厭許家偉嗎？人前，我一直表達對許家偉的討厭；人後，我曾多次理性分析過自己有沒有討厭他的實質理由。沒有，尤其在我對心儀對象忘情以後。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFAawL9IKzx
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc7l8gOd3lK
奈何留意許家偉經已成為我的習慣。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNXeuQO9C0U
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTTRzrG37l5
遠遠看見他的身影，我自然而然打起十二分精神；聽到心儀對象與好友聊天時提及許家偉，我對他的好奇大於對心儀對象的；走經中五級壁報板，會不經意試找許家偉的名字……625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx4fG5SYbFu
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx5eRJ6PLBA
「你遺下了銀包。」625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPsBJJaJSKh
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6BtGX9rSza
「謝謝。」625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMLsxwg2pL8
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRXuemMj3dQ
「不用客氣……」625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiJeAOvnL2n
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYu5vKoRSFR
經已物歸原主。他道謝，我虛應，然後該是沒有然後。但我們還是愣在原地。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTBvg2BjdYz
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhlMf0SqPS4
該要說甚麼？還需要說甚麼？沒有啊！但我們還是原地愣著。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKctbe7vs7y
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtfxU931cWR
他是否一早知道我？他是否早已察覺我在留意他？不會吧……625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRS4HpTVbU6
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYyB3bnIbHQ
我望入他雙眼。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7AsPYbo8l2
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK0WRUd0vF0
不。我鐵定他不認識我。他的眼神迷惘疑惑忐忑，似乎在期待甚麼……625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKRAV6CQpUi
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5rTBkLBEm1
一名校工在我和許家偉之間走過。我在視線被阻擋當刻回過神來，低頭轉身離開。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlH4GlTK1Bk
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ixz2E5YDX
我回到操場側長椅。阿強仍在，問我有否教訓許家偉一頓。我苦笑罵他發神經。阿強收起笑容，認真勸我別壓抑情緒。我說理解許家偉是無辜的，不會繼續討厭他。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgWA2F6QU9q
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUtN6wPF5fU
上課鈴聲響起，學生魚貫回課室去。人群中，我在五樓走廊與許家偉迎個正著。他驚訝之情洋溢於表。我反倒開懷笑了，笑他遲鈍，後知後覺。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡweQ9tXsVbK
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNtYFPbhZau
許家偉臉紅，禮貌地點點頭，上前自我介紹。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡck37CLnj9U
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh2fYeFEaGl
「我是文班許家偉。」625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHEkcuVgcwM
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGKGiWd9vTD
「我是理班李浩榮。」625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7sKQIMdcSE
畢業多年，我跟李浩榮從未聯絡過——當我這麼講，舊生聚會上人人皆表出乎意料：「你們當年那麼要好，竟然未曾聯絡一次？」625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw1hu5B0XcQ
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW9HubzSQHx
我笑笑點頭，不多解釋。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5pA6Rh0dHm
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc1uW4zkL49
畢業禮當晚，他告訴我，他的心儀對象喜歡我。我問他那女生是誰，我可以當面拒絕她。他說不必，因為他已不愛他。我感到奇怪：如已釋懷，為何重提。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrO3Vw1DXDR
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpogDI17Nde
李浩榮笑笑，笑說他已覺悟，明白人的真正作用。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYwVP0bBQjW
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP4Q1Ci0J2o
聽到這莫名其妙的答案，我就知道他醉了——他喝下很多酒。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4SGT9MMnDq
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUgixRY25He
他說人的真正作用就是將另外兩個不相識的人串連在一起，或是把深交的兩個人分開，例如那女生無意間將我帶到他的人生當中，而我又無意間成為他和青梅竹馬鬧翻原因。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr0eGJzRxCa
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgSA8Ys5sae
我大概聽出話裡的話。有點難過，有點無奈，有點害怕——害怕今晚坦白心聲以後，我和李浩榮再無交集。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI9vZvzGfwc
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4qZYq33U4Y
但我沒有阻止他。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡstr3S2Mk3K
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfqXedSDA46
他壓抑已久，情感需要釋放。這很可能是我以朋友身份給他的最後禮物。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLtVRWxi9c2
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8PrttQtsZP
我慫恿他繼續說下去。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxOKMLp57Dn
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl2A9N8hjZL
他跟阿強相識於幼稚園。他倆都是頑皮孩子，經常氣得老師向父母投訴，父母夜裡就來一頓痛打。他們經常看到對方手腫腳瘀，起初會擔心對方身體，後來發現彼此不怕捱打，只怕玩得不痛快。相顧輕笑，再玩再捱打……玩著捱著，二人同甘共苦十四年，彼此之間有一種難以言喻的默契——只有阿強看出他非但未曾討厭我，反倒羨慕我的不起眼。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwqj1SNIcQ7
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkzQnLfXk0l
我好奇李浩榮何解會羨慕不起眼的人。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmUx57jiAMx
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPYLVfU2xuf
「不被注意、不被期望，方能活得自由稱心。」625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFX2Pk880Rb
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo6w6Nljrfm
我問他是否有煩惱，可以向我傾訴，也許我能想出好辦法。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrJmFX7GQQ5
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCdRYCUJQWH
李浩榮報以苦笑，沒有正面回答。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPdoDMPVoID
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPN0xAAQTuw
那夜，他喝得爛醉，我送他回家。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa2V1Zn62Lf
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzNX8BfOA9p
伯母應門。是個凶神惡煞的中年婦，語調急促，不帶尾音。她接過李浩榮，留下一句道謝，利落關門。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlNke57VUcZ
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHFI2zIQk3V
門關。心頭若有所失——感覺永遠不會再見到李浩榮。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN9Pbu13Fke
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8pmjL3Wofg
其實沒甚麼大不了。這是人生必經的離合過程。不會令我受到任何傷害，亦不會令我蒙受任何損失。著實沒甚麼大不了。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY8VLGOvRxV
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJwItCz99Ef
但我掛念他。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1NrDd5sGR4
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfuY20u2Iq9
不是偶然想起，不是遇上麻煩、需要向他求助，不是看見眼熟物件進而聯想。沒錯，是真正的掛念——我無法自欺。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvkxfgMwHF3
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5OG3OX4AvH
想起他，我不期然會笑；想起他，我感覺窩心；想起他，我會自覺孤單可憐。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1drurwsTfe
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtMdE1tixfo
我漸漸意識到這是甚麼一回事。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzhjKPQLvnI
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0QMo7QDnub
糟糕了！怎麼辦？怎麼辦！不知道。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡugIQoldP9h
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuVpBkJPhMQ
不要說。不要聽。不要見。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0d4wIvfLd8
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡak7Hi9fG6M
希望時間會沖淡一切。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy7j5mKWV8Z
依稀記得畢業翌日在自家客廳梳化醒來的畫面。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgOWg1ut3tp
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4mGSh3Z3K2
首先映入眼簾的是極端的光與暗、黑與白——廳燈沒有亮起，窗外日光耀眼得刺痛，室內與室外亮度差異極大。眼睛無法於短時間內適應，煞是暈眩，有一股酸餿灼熱自胸腔冒升。想吐。沒法吐。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQE39wrgkII
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4etfwlrbww
阿媽沒有理會我，背對我在廚房煲湯。她對著湯煲說：「昨晚是他送你回來。」625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWIl4dk6q7h
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj3InfCxS23
我敵不過暈眩與劇烈頭痛，重新軟癱梳化上。沒回話打算，反正阿媽定會繼續說下去。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCKMLGtsdyr
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyS1zlIxeJY
「我不明白你為何喜歡他。」625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5gKvOaAjKz
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQedKdk1og2
「我也不明白。」625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxksqvaHVHl
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「那就不要繼續喜歡。」625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOHxEBq5OWi
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgnFNNDDph1
「感覺，並非可以自由控制的。」625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ75AF8PIp7z
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOJRXVqyKSY
「我亦無法自由控制我的兒子喜歡誰。」625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1gdRTcgHKy
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCfoygq4g8G
「我也無法自由選擇誰是我的母親。」625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ12mxPD6dQd
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz9Ku9BNiYh
「真抱歉——未得你同意就把你生下來。」625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMtDnFkxWXu
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVEOGWMRITt
「你該要對我感到抱歉。」625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8BQB8FvQmv
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEsXhEgW3jE
我晦氣，毫不掩飾對她的討厭。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfdSmXgQKTA
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuJ5JaNBtKH
阿媽沒再多話，繼續在廚房忙著。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoKUZ6IjyWx
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5225x6n2iz
真要命。人生就是那麼多無謂紛擾。我的人生屬於我，為何旁人總愛插手？625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKGvD3EFZek
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI1RQvFT5e4
抵著頭痛，我硬撐起身子小便去。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBElNox7oMD
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSsstKsyLCX
在抽氣扇綿延不斷的摩打聲襯托下，小便聲清脆得噁心。噁感令我清醒不少，昨晚回憶開始隱約浮現。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ445fSF7QTA
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNagv8EOyzE
我似乎講過一些不該出口的話。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBEucb9ikxE
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpiw1ijlCo2
真的嗎？我真的把話說出口？625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvjdzBrdVCF
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbOXoiR036x
為何這麼驚訝？阿強醉倒後，我特意喝下更多酒，不就是為了把話講出口嗎？625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7NKRJLYvLR
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZyloh39XBO
便意盡，醉意消，騰出來的腦空間被後悔和自責分佔了。我呆上半晌才提起褲子洗手去。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLWCJaS9bli
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQIzqx3euAn
為何要走到這一步？625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡec81rLW4xi
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfzAqcIfrBu
阿強早已看出我對許家偉的感情，擔心我走上「歪路」。我有點兒生氣——誰有資格定義這是否歪路。阿強自知沒能說服我，乾脆將觀察所得告訴我媽。性格暴躁的阿媽一反常態，冷靜淡然勸我切勿繼續投放感情。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrHyRyuE7d5
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ9nIcM4d4T
「世人表裡不一。口說開明，實質守舊。」625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbGqAGNtVin
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX7X7kGXzT1
「是嗎？你呢？你口說放棄，心底裡在支持我吧？」625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5d6AgFTZQ6
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡER3F43tH0s
「別倔強。」625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTmiKw2HSGZ
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD0mjl3Nmet
「我想要知道你的真正想法！別敷衍！別蒙混！」625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDb4MRpjbYg
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRUrpb43meH
「我想你放棄。」625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdyB9cay4Fl
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnz5RITwEre
「原因？」625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCfmo4TBZxU
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAHL6nPdkBH
「現實終歸是現實的。你將要面對的困難並非單靠信念、希望和愛情就可以解決。」625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEI8g0StnO5
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfeNw2rvTlP
「我知道。」625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡABeEpF48UE
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEhc67VwnPk
「何解還要繼續下去？」625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrWK7mSUNKj
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHQT1qp9eTv
「感情易放難收。」625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhuvhP8otJj
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuVYuQBJiD2
阿媽沒法回嘴——「感情」一詞明確否定了邏輯和理智，她還有何話可說，只得被動地待我回心轉意。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlBE3iqPWaF
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMxJLd7arJf
傍晚，我約見阿強，在公園暗處與他打一架。我們手腫腳瘀，有如兒時被父母教訓一樣。看著彼此頹喪模樣，我既心痛亦生氣——我們的友誼不該淪落至此！我們該可以當一輩子兄弟手足！625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyLUPCByjmn
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9TBNbTxeKd
架後，我沒有留下片言隻字，待身體稍稍恢復後首先離開回家去，懶理阿強依然躺在草地上粗喘不已。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFHDT4ZcXmK
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCwSIJBn9sy
阿媽見我身上有傷，許是大概明白那是甚麼一回事，沒有多問，亦不予關心。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpxxreE9a7j
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1VfGDZPL8K
我不在意，一心思考如何在畢業禮當晚向許家偉表白……625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAW0MQ8SyLc
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYdH3ec3Sng
畢業禮，是終結也是新開始。學生們穿戴整齊，戰戰兢兢上台領受證書。莘莘學子前途未卜，能夠掌握在手的只有當下。今朝有酒今朝醉，齊齊喝酒齊齊醉。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7fRu4ec9lM
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4nFLnZGEnt
阿強取來一支烈酒，邀我對飲：「追求真愛不是那麼容易。至少要比我更能喝。」625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCoy27gENsG
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ17p3Iqidg3
我欣然接受。他很了解我，許是估計到我將會乘著酒意找許家偉表白去。我唯一擺脫阿強的方法就是先把他灌醉。我們都不是省油的燈，自小經常一起偷偷喝酒，十分清楚對方酒量和醉態——一旦倒下，沒有廿四小時可醒不過來。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh4kbQEo4aX
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQgHb2HPYle
小醉。半醉。大醉。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnGPJjktQ8V
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkCNezZr1z1
阿強半伏枱邊，傻笑問我：「想好如何表白了沒？」625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLPKARSCbYz
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQmCxTRegpB
「直接講我愛他。」625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ23vqaQbK83
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMZLjdDsOTQ
「如果他拒絕？」625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgBb5j3oiEK
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOiXYLHUQNC
「沒怎麼樣。就像我之前被女同學拒絕那樣。」625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK7fKTwt2hX
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7zVaEMQzoY
「如果他接受了？那怎麼辦？」625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaZ4rRViITR
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtuclcGLvLB
「我當然是高興！」625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKZwi2yM6ig
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXLkoTzgV9E
「我在問，他會怎麼辦？你認為他的內心強大得能夠與你共同面對往後一切？」625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyaoUCQua21
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJwNRgBiPHk
阿強問了一個我沒有想及的問題。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc5AKJabFyr
事隔四十年，我和李浩榮在阿強的喪禮上再次聚頭。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGYlY1xOHph
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJdW5wR1maR
李浩榮說他在畢業禮後與阿強斷絕了聯絡。我為此道歉。他問我為何道歉。我重提他酒後那段說話。他反問我是否真的認為過錯在我。我答不肯定——我無心令他們鬧翻，但我確是他們鬧翻的原因。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUPprhZB0fM
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡASEy5GclY4
李浩榮苦笑，笑容意味深長。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi0hMnv70ut
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLCBydAncfF
「阿強沒講錯。你真懦弱。」625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqN7TEgA6j9
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0fhqDEE7pM
「活了那麼多年，經歷那麼多事情，我不得不承認自己的懦弱。」625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUQfngfKelZ
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVEijdmUHtQ
「你仍然單身？」625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKuiRYGQgJh
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC15dMAm3Xc
「是的。」625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmLfMohaU7f
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpCMHjAysqR
「要我當媒嗎？」625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA6kp81hKA8
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO68KUqPvZ2
「不了。難為情。」625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJsvEvvPUi2
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW0X70vywmI
李浩榮失笑，笑我不值得被愛。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf1yVNbaRMv
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFOIYHXoVFZ
我陪笑，笑說我懂得珍愛自己就可以。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZhX9BRUATu
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡklsHbdm3NG
多寒暄幾句，我和李浩榮相互道別，分道揚鑣不復見。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn9UcMpHZh6
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq0Z7ozHzTy
抬頭望天，天陰雨冷，冷入心脾。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM894hJ8GYk
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVMddsQVA3K
回家吧。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Us0dGD4gR
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFEGmaAgIjA
開門。門後空洞空虛空蕩蕩。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYJVdKcy72H
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsWvEehWvP4
「戚戚慘慘悽悽，清清冷冷，覓覓尋尋。」興之所至，我一邊脫鞋，一邊倒背《聲聲慢》首三句。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhsEZpWxGVF
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNs596A1fo4
「尋他千百度，驀然回首，那人卻在燈火闌珊處。」沒有脫襪，懶洋洋得撲到梳化上，順口接上《青玉案．元夕》末句。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeizTEdeNka
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx4XaXOVahU
枕臂望窗，映入眼簾的是極端的光與暗、黑與白——廳燈沒有亮起，窗外日光耀眼得刺痛，室內與室外亮度差異極大。驀地憶起日光照在他臉營造出來的明暗，憶起他的臉容氣質，憶起那抹笑容。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4P16Bl0sw0
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO65T3Ilfcf
大概是一見鍾情吧。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKjqaR1HhlU
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡinTpVsabEF
奈何我當年愚鈍懵懂，後知後覺。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEB5EaXCw5q
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhXLrgvzndN
如果我當年及早清楚知道自己的意向，結果會否不一樣？625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL3eQkQCC3f
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5hdfBLNQrJ
我笑自己想多了：結果會是一樣的。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWnZtJprrSt
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb38qS95Qrf
我是懦弱的人，我珍愛自己，所以我不會為他人冒險。我寧願花上一輩子去幻想錯過了的美好愛情，亦不會勇敢踏前一步去追求愛情。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFVZ72Y2dDj
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Vj1mjSyWi
李浩榮說得沒錯，我不值得被愛。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe8cwZAkbFo
事隔四十年，昔日摯友躺在棺材裡，往日心上人站在我面前。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK1HHkWtX6K
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7PpLCNUDF1
百感交集……625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnPvdwFRoAE
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZOd4lkq61Z
當年我為了許家偉與阿強鬧翻，事後亦沒敢聯絡許家偉。同時失去摯友和心上人，情感上的痛令我失眠了好幾年。那時候，還以為痛楚會一直維持下去，有如浪漫淒美感人的愛情電影情節。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8gIYTzAJti
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2hKRcg11pG
不過電影終究與現實不同：角色的難忘遭遇濃縮在短短一個半小時裡，情感故此顯得激烈而深刻；現實中的情感必須經過時間洗禮和加入許多愛情以外因素，例如家庭、工作、健康、個人財政等等。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDaeby84mlu
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4XwJfMjg4n
痛楚自然而然被淡化掉。我漸漸忘了阿強的忠肝義膽和許家偉的獨特魅力，直至今日再聚……625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwH4fps7hHk
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0JP2SS7Pmq
「認得我嗎？我是許家偉。」625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9b4Hca3dTI
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlDnAGt8WN5
「認得。你是文班的。」625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ5fYBStOgv
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq81SGFpMt5
許家偉淺笑，笑容如昔，淡然清雅溫婉。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnxzzVP3NOd
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqIio02Mnus
閒聊之間，發現他仍然單身。究其原因，他只道難為情。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4IXNymEArZ
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr2QbEbAMgl
「你不值得被愛。」我蔑笑。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4VQVXWNWlb
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6bbdmy0Ez6
四十年過去，許家偉仍是當初那個許家偉。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVsiwccM7CH
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkPrBpItvdp
阿強沒講錯——他的內心不會強大得能夠與我共同面對一切。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSX5wAptCRL
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNOyoDPVeiu
「我懂得珍愛自己就可以。」許家偉笑著說。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjfNmymrU0s
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ0QXF2R2H6
許家偉在認真？他真心認為這是珍愛自己的行徑？625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoxogeiqn5A
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ69IVrYmbEt
我哭笑不得。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi1zpWSdIzf
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdcIfeNPAcM
無意跟他繼續對話。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaFBoGzuixQ
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwD460raJYb
多寒暄幾句，我和許家偉相互道別，分道揚鑣不復見。625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgP7FWFAJcd
625Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMhlVi38mg3
抬頭望天，天陰雨冷，冷入心脾。
然後按「加至主畫面」