午餐用膳後，男生們大多會將多餘時間花在學校操場，或場上打籃球，或場外觀賽。我亦不例外，在場邊與同學輕聲討論打球技巧。忘形之際，一個籃球高速自後側飛來，狠狠砸中我右耳耳背。場中男生上前向我連聲道歉，我只道不要緊。男生拾球後繼續回場較勁，沒把事情放心上。當然，我也沒所謂，小事一椿。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEhmTt63aDK
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8C0cXczxSL
令我在意的反倒是球場另邊有個陌生男生對我微笑。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEt5HDS5FtS
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ynOMgWLuV
匆匆一笑，半秒即逝。他轉頭跟身邊友人繼續說說笑笑。我挺肯定自己想多了——對方不是故意對著我笑，僅是他的站立姿勢及面向角度湊巧朝著我這邊來。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCIJJzyCM9t
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVPdjB1AAWz
但我還是記住了那抹笑容，記住了他的臉容氣質，記住日光照在他臉營造出來的明暗。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMorQ7NPYH1
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRrxnpCtmQa
為何記住？我解釋不了。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPqY7GwBAHQ
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfcN3J09xTb
好幾個月過去，夏天轉換為冬。颯颯寒風成功減少場邊女生數目，男生仍然在此閒聊逛蕩。同行朋友忽爾興起，動身到場裡打球。我笑笑婉拒，說吃飽想睡不想動。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ91Vh5Wu2Ok
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaFsjTt1rTB
我獨坐長椅一邊，納悶之際，兩個男生前來佔坐長椅另端空位。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGKBBvQsj49
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVJ0NU3pTiy
其中一個是他。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhntmEGxt19
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzXjzdG119f
那笑那臉那明暗，歷歷在目。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY6ixxcRdCX
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ82TH7uVla9
心頭一顫，我馬上別過臉去。數秒後，我稍為冷靜，意識到自己的失態，佯裝無異，繼續觀看球賽。不過他似乎察覺我的異樣，有意無意對我展露笑容——一個意味深長的笑容。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzSncyaAn9q
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSmp9mPgsvJ
我尷尬離座回課室去。走樓梯至三樓時，他竟從後叫住我。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnAIAvWOTM0
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj9hAJETa5f
「你遺下銀包。」785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL7OJ5U63b0
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlhKkxZTQBp
「謝謝。」785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8lXnN9IUyH
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCfIH4109iC
「不用客氣……」785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9yTfAm68md
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDtdmY38wYP
奇怪。看他忸怩模樣，他似乎還有話要對我說。說甚麼？不是必須相識的陌生人可以如何打開話題？甚或是「為何要展開話題」？785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZxLQSIHbOP
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdJIhcJ9wJR
氣氛尷尬，四目交投，卻不知如何是好。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDota4ZOeIj
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9pn2aJ9nKh
直至提著半滿水桶和微濕地拖的校工在我倆之間經過，彼此才回過神來，甚有默契同時分別從兩個方向離開。我往上，他往下。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsXCwxhsqvc
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡosdr3dIiGM
誰料在午飯時間完結後，我們還是在五樓走廊再次碰面——原來我們都是中五生。由於班別不同、社交圈子不重疊，所以未曾正式認識。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBjU3PeG56m
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp9z4GInjWl
不要緊。現在互相自我介紹就可以。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAaZJmjdZlI
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVEg0vkH4n3
「我是文班許家偉。」785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIPl644JaUT
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNT2cAC8HfK
「我是理班李浩榮。」785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTMcYJuRO1w
其實我早已知道許家偉。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3NbJfdSA0q
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqKhsT0Sijk
我心儀對象就是喜歡許家偉。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpSWD3NIZ30
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFnnw68pgIg
被拒絕的心情久久不散。我開始留意許家偉這個人。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6lCM7mzogm
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ77kITnM6A2
拜託阿強向文班生打探有關許家偉的事。某文班生說許家偉無啥特別，亦無專長或短處，是個存在感不強的乖學生。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSWdq1S7LXt
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0IC6NZZPzA
我不明所以——為何心儀對象看上他？785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs9t1NyocMx
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtWEEjYpcz6
不是認為心儀對象定要接受我或是對方必須比我優勝，只是我真的找不到許家偉有何可愛之處。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMciXpQQbVg
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUYxFkdgrJ5
不服氣。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2o4Ceq4kjJ
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0rfockorXF
繼續觀察他。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCGQAl7M2nE
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm4fbQ1DAZi
匆匆數月，秋去冬來，我對許家偉好奇不減。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO3LquaFX0w
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnZI48MGIwR
某天午餐後，我和阿強發現許家偉獨坐操場長椅，於是立即齊齊上前佔據長椅另端，近距離觀察他。他似乎發現我們的奇異目光，動身離開。正感沒趣，阿強發現地上有一個銀包。查看內裡，看見許家偉的學生證。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgMWsHRXol2
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7qV0fYtdiM
阿強建議取走內裡金錢和學生證，再將銀包交到校務處。我反對，擔心惹禍上身。阿強問我是否討厭許家偉。我無正面回應，僅是堅持物歸原主。阿強讓步，將銀包遞給我。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQhSfybbvD2
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfH8SiwhhN5
我急步追趕許家偉。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9izR8sJCoG
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtXUVuL8ZUa
不明白自己此刻行為。正如阿強所問，我不是討厭許家偉嗎？人前，我一直表達對許家偉的討厭；人後，我曾多次理性分析過自己有沒有討厭他的實質理由。沒有，尤其在我對心儀對象忘情以後。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ443PoZiEwh
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmRLiHpM5VF
奈何留意許家偉經已成為我的習慣。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrpnRyD7RL8
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHbEGa5Cdg9
遠遠看見他的身影，我自然而然打起十二分精神；聽到心儀對象與好友聊天時提及許家偉，我對他的好奇大於對心儀對象的；走經中五級壁報板，會不經意試找許家偉的名字……785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2v5efHtFz4
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX2iCXS5orc
「你遺下了銀包。」785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCplvYiRNcj
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyvUif8Bcbk
「謝謝。」785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuZOavOQmwr
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡebyeHWns2B
「不用客氣……」785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRihv5RYR4f
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpaO2vlTh6i
經已物歸原主。他道謝，我虛應，然後該是沒有然後。但我們還是愣在原地。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSCdNHmAxv4
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmJU1I6Auuy
該要說甚麼？還需要說甚麼？沒有啊！但我們還是原地愣著。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ9OF71vLdg
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhlwjvgsayy
他是否一早知道我？他是否早已察覺我在留意他？不會吧……785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs8fKLXJmnw
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeK55FoZKvf
我望入他雙眼。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhOrkTuTYC6
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMurqohFXe0
不。我鐵定他不認識我。他的眼神迷惘疑惑忐忑，似乎在期待甚麼……785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhcClaK1jBP
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsH5LkStz7O
一名校工在我和許家偉之間走過。我在視線被阻擋當刻回過神來，低頭轉身離開。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsXvpV0veeY
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdwYylFwNoQ
我回到操場側長椅。阿強仍在，問我有否教訓許家偉一頓。我苦笑罵他發神經。阿強收起笑容，認真勸我別壓抑情緒。我說理解許家偉是無辜的，不會繼續討厭他。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNZf9BJSu2r
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEEmC6PNlII
上課鈴聲響起，學生魚貫回課室去。人群中，我在五樓走廊與許家偉迎個正著。他驚訝之情洋溢於表。我反倒開懷笑了，笑他遲鈍，後知後覺。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmng42Aj4gj
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjODvxgQrOA
許家偉臉紅，禮貌地點點頭，上前自我介紹。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0O8LVHPna4
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFX0sOaPeeB
「我是文班許家偉。」785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBBvs9hJbFL
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWJO0m72G5O
「我是理班李浩榮。」785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8nt0YDPKeI
畢業多年，我跟李浩榮從未聯絡過——當我這麼講，舊生聚會上人人皆表出乎意料：「你們當年那麼要好，竟然未曾聯絡一次？」785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeIanUiadiT
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNW2xjZ7x58
我笑笑點頭，不多解釋。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG3brGfs5Vg
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOXCLYPAk4n
畢業禮當晚，他告訴我，他的心儀對象喜歡我。我問他那女生是誰，我可以當面拒絕她。他說不必，因為他已不愛他。我感到奇怪：如已釋懷，為何重提。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTogv6qrNac
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs4mxrZVk2V
李浩榮笑笑，笑說他已覺悟，明白人的真正作用。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBxhPxs4fj9
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUT3qhmzbVV
聽到這莫名其妙的答案，我就知道他醉了——他喝下很多酒。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0XP4Ukijgd
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3XXaYPrbod
他說人的真正作用就是將另外兩個不相識的人串連在一起，或是把深交的兩個人分開，例如那女生無意間將我帶到他的人生當中，而我又無意間成為他和青梅竹馬鬧翻原因。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMEzgM505QF
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOuOhZluV4O
我大概聽出話裡的話。有點難過，有點無奈，有點害怕——害怕今晚坦白心聲以後，我和李浩榮再無交集。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdIRWXP7B9H
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0TTdiawQAP
但我沒有阻止他。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvZ6ofFNVSK
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP6wUCJLoJl
他壓抑已久，情感需要釋放。這很可能是我以朋友身份給他的最後禮物。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡArEz1sEHt9
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEnE2pfAOz5
我慫恿他繼續說下去。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRq7VlD0KXR
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs2jbiZTujN
他跟阿強相識於幼稚園。他倆都是頑皮孩子，經常氣得老師向父母投訴，父母夜裡就來一頓痛打。他們經常看到對方手腫腳瘀，起初會擔心對方身體，後來發現彼此不怕捱打，只怕玩得不痛快。相顧輕笑，再玩再捱打……玩著捱著，二人同甘共苦十四年，彼此之間有一種難以言喻的默契——只有阿強看出他非但未曾討厭我，反倒羨慕我的不起眼。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNmYQPfQ6KR
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6OJ8Vz6bJy
我好奇李浩榮何解會羨慕不起眼的人。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIhws7YNbC9
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPeEuGqugMs
「不被注意、不被期望，方能活得自由稱心。」785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRIHiIlv66L
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdGHxnT0jgW
我問他是否有煩惱，可以向我傾訴，也許我能想出好辦法。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRpKPtgfd6O
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUa1q6uWrW9
李浩榮報以苦笑，沒有正面回答。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHry6gygQ4s
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYrpbbFVxAh
那夜，他喝得爛醉，我送他回家。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhKfDUJkovh
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4mI7tfvcAM
伯母應門。是個凶神惡煞的中年婦，語調急促，不帶尾音。她接過李浩榮，留下一句道謝，利落關門。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcQXcjpBO2r
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ6SoCB2w0m
門關。心頭若有所失——感覺永遠不會再見到李浩榮。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmHxggp20s2
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ832B5deD0P
其實沒甚麼大不了。這是人生必經的離合過程。不會令我受到任何傷害，亦不會令我蒙受任何損失。著實沒甚麼大不了。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt8TSWOQGmQ
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAy8AyqOfVo
但我掛念他。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsSzL5YsneA
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI8nLmooZUr
不是偶然想起，不是遇上麻煩、需要向他求助，不是看見眼熟物件進而聯想。沒錯，是真正的掛念——我無法自欺。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡctcVsFTQsX
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYrYvCmEtiQ
想起他，我不期然會笑；想起他，我感覺窩心；想起他，我會自覺孤單可憐。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPT2EAyTy4F
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN2Y7jrlv5D
我漸漸意識到這是甚麼一回事。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlNUOFHlFJK
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc4a7CP46N4
糟糕了！怎麼辦？怎麼辦！不知道。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtzxzGlL5Z6
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2rp6zCrdbG
不要說。不要聽。不要見。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSyS1Gb69C9
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡprEsNtIz2d
希望時間會沖淡一切。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQjUtLizpxW
依稀記得畢業翌日在自家客廳梳化醒來的畫面。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2htvGsswy0
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF7QQa5TG1X
首先映入眼簾的是極端的光與暗、黑與白——廳燈沒有亮起，窗外日光耀眼得刺痛，室內與室外亮度差異極大。眼睛無法於短時間內適應，煞是暈眩，有一股酸餿灼熱自胸腔冒升。想吐。沒法吐。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZrekJGJTRT
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNzqahZjV4B
阿媽沒有理會我，背對我在廚房煲湯。她對著湯煲說：「昨晚是他送你回來。」785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSD12isrTuO
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzgzK9C3o6c
我敵不過暈眩與劇烈頭痛，重新軟癱梳化上。沒回話打算，反正阿媽定會繼續說下去。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDXDQJsgg8E
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKd1nkcMuO8
「我不明白你為何喜歡他。」785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyqQm8y9fRD
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4iJfqqQtb6
「我也不明白。」785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkEdlo0dTgt
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiJGCgeTKyi
「那就不要繼續喜歡。」785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOkf7NPtk4O
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZt731aNmHc
「感覺，並非可以自由控制的。」785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxBSUEFoRQ9
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeuCDUTc8N8
「我亦無法自由控制我的兒子喜歡誰。」785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjItpXadSzS
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC2fweB1AdI
「我也無法自由選擇誰是我的母親。」785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvAC1BIBOnr
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHymlQ5VeL9
「真抱歉——未得你同意就把你生下來。」785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa1ZhX0SBls
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡymkkPOeb1s
「你該要對我感到抱歉。」785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnyy0kcrEeQ
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIsD01dm2gR
我晦氣，毫不掩飾對她的討厭。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ytLvZksZj
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjsIpwtU1JI
阿媽沒再多話，繼續在廚房忙著。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbtVcQYqb7y
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwSB58ZJiAY
真要命。人生就是那麼多無謂紛擾。我的人生屬於我，為何旁人總愛插手？785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpjrFx1ngUV
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5uA4H5Wq3b
抵著頭痛，我硬撐起身子小便去。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3hGHHPSTu7
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ84mGRRPRMZ
在抽氣扇綿延不斷的摩打聲襯托下，小便聲清脆得噁心。噁感令我清醒不少，昨晚回憶開始隱約浮現。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqaNtSC0Nwd
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCyfMmVkLry
我似乎講過一些不該出口的話。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0OW2524p6d
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeN3okCaLPS
真的嗎？我真的把話說出口？785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvCm456cqLQ
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC9iaqCeC78
為何這麼驚訝？阿強醉倒後，我特意喝下更多酒，不就是為了把話講出口嗎？785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWfu959iUyC
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEsfUQ4r6z4
便意盡，醉意消，騰出來的腦空間被後悔和自責分佔了。我呆上半晌才提起褲子洗手去。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ6kkBjNx9I
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡigAeOsqcOJ
為何要走到這一步？785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6W8LZHTbnW
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZGOGFZHPMk
阿強早已看出我對許家偉的感情，擔心我走上「歪路」。我有點兒生氣——誰有資格定義這是否歪路。阿強自知沒能說服我，乾脆將觀察所得告訴我媽。性格暴躁的阿媽一反常態，冷靜淡然勸我切勿繼續投放感情。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFo5Tt9IlWq
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡylb87IcfN9
「世人表裡不一。口說開明，實質守舊。」785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaW4hpzLadf
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrGi5gzagp3
「是嗎？你呢？你口說放棄，心底裡在支持我吧？」785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxcxo5hHDXI
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDAUrl6dwVb
「別倔強。」785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoTtzTSjOJr
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡowa6uwKq18
「我想要知道你的真正想法！別敷衍！別蒙混！」785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3JNhRoQQ3T
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡff8mbgBDWs
「我想你放棄。」785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ770bF09Tc3
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfh0myyHW7r
「原因？」785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡITgFHBWEqj
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn1iMEoOKd0
「現實終歸是現實的。你將要面對的困難並非單靠信念、希望和愛情就可以解決。」785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlsw9dMbf8k
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsQCffceKGR
「我知道。」785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUT663E7RZP
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwMAbWIlbwK
「何解還要繼續下去？」785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSxPipxfwJM
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8QOMayosSH
「感情易放難收。」785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDMTEGigkEi
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ0qpUqBjMI
阿媽沒法回嘴——「感情」一詞明確否定了邏輯和理智，她還有何話可說，只得被動地待我回心轉意。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3EBUcLrhYB
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsDjwnpIGLL
傍晚，我約見阿強，在公園暗處與他打一架。我們手腫腳瘀，有如兒時被父母教訓一樣。看著彼此頹喪模樣，我既心痛亦生氣——我們的友誼不該淪落至此！我們該可以當一輩子兄弟手足！785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA8kUgcP1TY
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN002qxpNl0
架後，我沒有留下片言隻字，待身體稍稍恢復後首先離開回家去，懶理阿強依然躺在草地上粗喘不已。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpkuNerl3hl
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlil3I02uBl
阿媽見我身上有傷，許是大概明白那是甚麼一回事，沒有多問，亦不予關心。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFSmCMRgvjb
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ88x7WQEjSa
我不在意，一心思考如何在畢業禮當晚向許家偉表白……785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXKJhBshHvZ
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaa4qEF2vrN
畢業禮，是終結也是新開始。學生們穿戴整齊，戰戰兢兢上台領受證書。莘莘學子前途未卜，能夠掌握在手的只有當下。今朝有酒今朝醉，齊齊喝酒齊齊醉。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡADcJx8Gj7I
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb2YIOGgz4b
阿強取來一支烈酒，邀我對飲：「追求真愛不是那麼容易。至少要比我更能喝。」785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHZHeu8HtLi
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡublo4TDzt9
我欣然接受。他很了解我，許是估計到我將會乘著酒意找許家偉表白去。我唯一擺脫阿強的方法就是先把他灌醉。我們都不是省油的燈，自小經常一起偷偷喝酒，十分清楚對方酒量和醉態——一旦倒下，沒有廿四小時可醒不過來。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc8ymer4wkQ
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvY6ICSyi9U
小醉。半醉。大醉。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1fK0URr870
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLwP43aT0jb
阿強半伏枱邊，傻笑問我：「想好如何表白了沒？」785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlwhAfP0QYD
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIFrqS0k9KF
「直接講我愛他。」785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmxYpz3z59W
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF8aaJN1nwy
「如果他拒絕？」785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXWYOrik4uP
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAK81OTbxks
「沒怎麼樣。就像我之前被女同學拒絕那樣。」785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyYrIpRWpfR
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGHopbSodjC
「如果他接受了？那怎麼辦？」785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBCJXxI58Xc
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2bAcusrLwY
「我當然是高興！」785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbeTJLctwp5
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEOKo6TxWPr
「我在問，他會怎麼辦？你認為他的內心強大得能夠與你共同面對往後一切？」785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiY7xPDUgYo
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSOrSGmnZ1x
阿強問了一個我沒有想及的問題。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtysmHA29sP
事隔四十年，我和李浩榮在阿強的喪禮上再次聚頭。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYgkTHg7Pyu
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq14jmczqRI
李浩榮說他在畢業禮後與阿強斷絕了聯絡。我為此道歉。他問我為何道歉。我重提他酒後那段說話。他反問我是否真的認為過錯在我。我答不肯定——我無心令他們鬧翻，但我確是他們鬧翻的原因。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6CuBtgFntO
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcs1JFQfyiJ
李浩榮苦笑，笑容意味深長。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy9RecGmDBU
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEh9Wnkj7rJ
「阿強沒講錯。你真懦弱。」785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSQ2X7GTn8p
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJd0hKQEkmI
「活了那麼多年，經歷那麼多事情，我不得不承認自己的懦弱。」785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvgfvIFGNor
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoBtEXU9Z6T
「你仍然單身？」785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvLI1A6sAZK
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA9OG0oJ2nF
「是的。」785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa9e1Wzhv7B
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBEdbMBFnFq
「要我當媒嗎？」785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFUNYirpBQe
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgSVfjsHJWB
「不了。難為情。」785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmaHG1Plj2s
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCNbJDLZgWi
李浩榮失笑，笑我不值得被愛。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiyY6BWcGla
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQp8D9bzucc
我陪笑，笑說我懂得珍愛自己就可以。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgNrC2vaGIM
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZecSQHMo4F
多寒暄幾句，我和李浩榮相互道別，分道揚鑣不復見。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLOCQjLl998
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6dNBKPAaCI
抬頭望天，天陰雨冷，冷入心脾。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQX0Syu4Kyy
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGpyYn1Y3s8
回家吧。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaOM9qDKfPr
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPD08wq7Uax
開門。門後空洞空虛空蕩蕩。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeNJMM1knt1
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡumVKQUOAKg
「戚戚慘慘悽悽，清清冷冷，覓覓尋尋。」興之所至，我一邊脫鞋，一邊倒背《聲聲慢》首三句。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSVK36IVAty
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw0GqHuSFQF
「尋他千百度，驀然回首，那人卻在燈火闌珊處。」沒有脫襪，懶洋洋得撲到梳化上，順口接上《青玉案．元夕》末句。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdyAtlFU5wm
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGC4OIQnDh6
枕臂望窗，映入眼簾的是極端的光與暗、黑與白——廳燈沒有亮起，窗外日光耀眼得刺痛，室內與室外亮度差異極大。驀地憶起日光照在他臉營造出來的明暗，憶起他的臉容氣質，憶起那抹笑容。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi3Cb8S1rPV
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc3qgzBSPGX
大概是一見鍾情吧。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZsRfx23wG2
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxEvZjTVjAe
奈何我當年愚鈍懵懂，後知後覺。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6lcQh82sBc
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfuQDEQkwbK
如果我當年及早清楚知道自己的意向，結果會否不一樣？785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHMhyzIRMmm
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlD0YvCA2to
我笑自己想多了：結果會是一樣的。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOUEWkOw1Ld
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfTPzRQxOgV
我是懦弱的人，我珍愛自己，所以我不會為他人冒險。我寧願花上一輩子去幻想錯過了的美好愛情，亦不會勇敢踏前一步去追求愛情。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJuaAWgAODj
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvYA9pSknK1
李浩榮說得沒錯，我不值得被愛。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMx1c1ywpgK
事隔四十年，昔日摯友躺在棺材裡，往日心上人站在我面前。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbr77XzTyIS
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5efgY6rR1C
百感交集……785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8eacxEvDKg
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjNBiPGmDc0
當年我為了許家偉與阿強鬧翻，事後亦沒敢聯絡許家偉。同時失去摯友和心上人，情感上的痛令我失眠了好幾年。那時候，還以為痛楚會一直維持下去，有如浪漫淒美感人的愛情電影情節。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQPzuk4yu1x
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk4aMujKbTL
不過電影終究與現實不同：角色的難忘遭遇濃縮在短短一個半小時裡，情感故此顯得激烈而深刻；現實中的情感必須經過時間洗禮和加入許多愛情以外因素，例如家庭、工作、健康、個人財政等等。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyGUFjJJs7K
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEg2lKTv2Fv
痛楚自然而然被淡化掉。我漸漸忘了阿強的忠肝義膽和許家偉的獨特魅力，直至今日再聚……785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ36HwKAovky
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQMDZjfXwOO
「認得我嗎？我是許家偉。」785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP9W6ZA7leq
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPNMpv0Sv4H
「認得。你是文班的。」785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwLWJwEpFR8
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8pk0tis8St
許家偉淺笑，笑容如昔，淡然清雅溫婉。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSPgjWrMQ12
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOWSWAQG93z
閒聊之間，發現他仍然單身。究其原因，他只道難為情。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVIzOojDDQi
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ25K4VFTNDB
「你不值得被愛。」我蔑笑。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKFS6VhG7ag
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwgbJOXwxAf
四十年過去，許家偉仍是當初那個許家偉。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvbPwDiSCDn
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf1e8Ymgi6T
阿強沒講錯——他的內心不會強大得能夠與我共同面對一切。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIuHtvHBzlV
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZejT33Jcam
「我懂得珍愛自己就可以。」許家偉笑著說。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6IpMgO8p09
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrgY7IJNtcS
許家偉在認真？他真心認為這是珍愛自己的行徑？785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKhR7FyRxyN
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMwbYDXenXH
我哭笑不得。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLFyYUdeZab
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzswIEMtjir
無意跟他繼續對話。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYZCsKVdHCJ
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGK5qAuEFc3
多寒暄幾句，我和許家偉相互道別，分道揚鑣不復見。785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZOsPHoA6fa
785Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAnVTicKKEX
抬頭望天，天陰雨冷，冷入心脾。
and then Add to home screen.