午餐用膳後,男生們大多會將多餘時間花在學校操場,或場上打籃球,或場外觀賽。我亦不例外,在場邊與同學輕聲討論打球技巧。忘形之際,一個籃球高速自後側飛來,狠狠砸中我右耳耳背。場中男生上前向我連聲道歉,我只道不要緊。男生拾球後繼續回場較勁,沒把事情放心上。當然,我也沒所謂,小事一椿。316Please respect copyright.PENANA6kiwQ7JbBR
316Please respect copyright.PENANAilHpUCrq1z
令我在意的反倒是球場另邊有個陌生男生對我微笑。316Please respect copyright.PENANA8BQMNZykEs
316Please respect copyright.PENANAyOt5UN1tYG
匆匆一笑,半秒即逝。他轉頭跟身邊友人繼續說說笑笑。我挺肯定自己想多了——對方不是故意對著我笑,僅是他的站立姿勢及面向角度湊巧朝著我這邊來。316Please respect copyright.PENANAzUH4Lm5C0I
316Please respect copyright.PENANACsVB4LNidL
但我還是記住了那抹笑容,記住了他的臉容氣質,記住日光照在他臉營造出來的明暗。316Please respect copyright.PENANAGMOtYbl0D2
316Please respect copyright.PENANAZF1zHWn7t5
為何記住?我解釋不了。316Please respect copyright.PENANADJKUPGN51L
316Please respect copyright.PENANAUqCtxIMRbq
好幾個月過去,夏天轉換為冬。颯颯寒風成功減少場邊女生數目,男生仍然在此閒聊逛蕩。同行朋友忽爾興起,動身到場裡打球。我笑笑婉拒,說吃飽想睡不想動。316Please respect copyright.PENANAAiSgn5T6P5
316Please respect copyright.PENANAWi6S9C0l6Z
我獨坐長椅一邊,納悶之際,兩個男生前來佔坐長椅另端空位。316Please respect copyright.PENANA7EwifwBd8P
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其中一個是他。316Please respect copyright.PENANApcIBWFf2lf
316Please respect copyright.PENANA9IYWYomfXO
那笑那臉那明暗,歷歷在目。316Please respect copyright.PENANANjys6W6OVB
316Please respect copyright.PENANAc6h4rRferJ
心頭一顫,我馬上別過臉去。數秒後,我稍為冷靜,意識到自己的失態,佯裝無異,繼續觀看球賽。不過他似乎察覺我的異樣,有意無意對我展露笑容——一個意味深長的笑容。316Please respect copyright.PENANALI2omAIkJO
316Please respect copyright.PENANAQi0Ukk6zvG
我尷尬離座回課室去。走樓梯至三樓時,他竟從後叫住我。316Please respect copyright.PENANAaiDGr2MKs1
316Please respect copyright.PENANAtyffJmiV6b
「你遺下銀包。」316Please respect copyright.PENANAxhjFZdlKs1
316Please respect copyright.PENANAFZ4f8WhWSu
「謝謝。」316Please respect copyright.PENANAjUZNgKSRyN
316Please respect copyright.PENANA1CviCwekaV
「不用客氣……」316Please respect copyright.PENANAvwjoQogkmf
316Please respect copyright.PENANA1czOEB08uY
奇怪。看他忸怩模樣,他似乎還有話要對我說。說甚麼?不是必須相識的陌生人可以如何打開話題?甚或是「為何要展開話題」?316Please respect copyright.PENANAHQzZaXOn9o
316Please respect copyright.PENANA6tdboSuVEy
氣氛尷尬,四目交投,卻不知如何是好。316Please respect copyright.PENANAq75cjx6bcb
316Please respect copyright.PENANA2l29bwi1GC
直至提著半滿水桶和微濕地拖的校工在我倆之間經過,彼此才回過神來,甚有默契同時分別從兩個方向離開。我往上,他往下。316Please respect copyright.PENANA6jCUtX5pHk
316Please respect copyright.PENANAFKvw4UKGyq
誰料在午飯時間完結後,我們還是在五樓走廊再次碰面——原來我們都是中五生。由於班別不同、社交圈子不重疊,所以未曾正式認識。316Please respect copyright.PENANAyN3pFlqftn
316Please respect copyright.PENANAdLDT3cBxHP
不要緊。現在互相自我介紹就可以。316Please respect copyright.PENANALoG6L3pM9y
316Please respect copyright.PENANAKpVi5IthIJ
「我是文班許家偉。」316Please respect copyright.PENANAnAZFAjSPyE
316Please respect copyright.PENANASjSTCKh6pj
「我是理班李浩榮。」316Please respect copyright.PENANA4Itaqb6Foj
其實我早已知道許家偉。316Please respect copyright.PENANAG6mezsESOK
316Please respect copyright.PENANAtUmDVVeiFT
我心儀對象就是喜歡許家偉。316Please respect copyright.PENANAHdBphCvlKs
316Please respect copyright.PENANAa8m9tnNDVK
被拒絕的心情久久不散。我開始留意許家偉這個人。316Please respect copyright.PENANAttvR4itoyO
316Please respect copyright.PENANAHyEsUPI1Ds
拜託阿強向文班生打探有關許家偉的事。某文班生說許家偉無啥特別,亦無專長或短處,是個存在感不強的乖學生。316Please respect copyright.PENANAs8Sl0FkLxs
316Please respect copyright.PENANAXwsmrjcuvb
我不明所以——為何心儀對象看上他?316Please respect copyright.PENANAxcVyl4dk7r
316Please respect copyright.PENANAykWxDqUmuC
不是認為心儀對象定要接受我或是對方必須比我優勝,只是我真的找不到許家偉有何可愛之處。316Please respect copyright.PENANALYSiQnSQHm
316Please respect copyright.PENANAhwYh7FpiVJ
不服氣。316Please respect copyright.PENANAJvZuQ6A5sU
316Please respect copyright.PENANAzpTUyK2Dt5
繼續觀察他。316Please respect copyright.PENANAXcnhLXd42H
316Please respect copyright.PENANArh7tw9SnX3
匆匆數月,秋去冬來,我對許家偉好奇不減。316Please respect copyright.PENANADoFWbeiBHp
316Please respect copyright.PENANAisGII5thnz
某天午餐後,我和阿強發現許家偉獨坐操場長椅,於是立即齊齊上前佔據長椅另端,近距離觀察他。他似乎發現我們的奇異目光,動身離開。正感沒趣,阿強發現地上有一個銀包。查看內裡,看見許家偉的學生證。316Please respect copyright.PENANAS8AcFDUi7L
316Please respect copyright.PENANAI2FfzYfNxi
阿強建議取走內裡金錢和學生證,再將銀包交到校務處。我反對,擔心惹禍上身。阿強問我是否討厭許家偉。我無正面回應,僅是堅持物歸原主。阿強讓步,將銀包遞給我。316Please respect copyright.PENANA9mY3KVmp7r
316Please respect copyright.PENANAaqO87c7eFE
我急步追趕許家偉。316Please respect copyright.PENANAGaj8S3Ewou
316Please respect copyright.PENANAmCssv9fco8
不明白自己此刻行為。正如阿強所問,我不是討厭許家偉嗎?人前,我一直表達對許家偉的討厭;人後,我曾多次理性分析過自己有沒有討厭他的實質理由。沒有,尤其在我對心儀對象忘情以後。316Please respect copyright.PENANAPbO4cdyvwt
316Please respect copyright.PENANAm2EXwy6InX
奈何留意許家偉經已成為我的習慣。316Please respect copyright.PENANAzRQ1yA7M4x
316Please respect copyright.PENANABniFY4cp5T
遠遠看見他的身影,我自然而然打起十二分精神;聽到心儀對象與好友聊天時提及許家偉,我對他的好奇大於對心儀對象的;走經中五級壁報板,會不經意試找許家偉的名字……316Please respect copyright.PENANA444AcucaOO
316Please respect copyright.PENANAySBjcHgZ8X
「你遺下了銀包。」316Please respect copyright.PENANAAC6g1umfcy
316Please respect copyright.PENANAobZtZWvwIH
「謝謝。」316Please respect copyright.PENANAVkq96020ez
316Please respect copyright.PENANA0aPGeAQON6
「不用客氣……」316Please respect copyright.PENANApBt9YvRtvC
316Please respect copyright.PENANAGnh3CDda1B
經已物歸原主。他道謝,我虛應,然後該是沒有然後。但我們還是愣在原地。316Please respect copyright.PENANAgnNbtAAKti
316Please respect copyright.PENANAEHViscSDyk
該要說甚麼?還需要說甚麼?沒有啊!但我們還是原地愣著。316Please respect copyright.PENANARkqywSnUlB
316Please respect copyright.PENANAPcFD8nNGla
他是否一早知道我?他是否早已察覺我在留意他?不會吧……316Please respect copyright.PENANARpjmm5ni9m
316Please respect copyright.PENANAdyJmIg2RCk
我望入他雙眼。316Please respect copyright.PENANAnBjBVKJRS1
316Please respect copyright.PENANAROjvfRz690
不。我鐵定他不認識我。他的眼神迷惘疑惑忐忑,似乎在期待甚麼……316Please respect copyright.PENANAsw8oG1GoEa
316Please respect copyright.PENANASbJXCyuGkG
一名校工在我和許家偉之間走過。我在視線被阻擋當刻回過神來,低頭轉身離開。316Please respect copyright.PENANAIhYQ90VKJo
316Please respect copyright.PENANAYN3WS9etOU
我回到操場側長椅。阿強仍在,問我有否教訓許家偉一頓。我苦笑罵他發神經。阿強收起笑容,認真勸我別壓抑情緒。我說理解許家偉是無辜的,不會繼續討厭他。316Please respect copyright.PENANAnKSmWs4cdn
316Please respect copyright.PENANAVtIvGPY4Cx
上課鈴聲響起,學生魚貫回課室去。人群中,我在五樓走廊與許家偉迎個正著。他驚訝之情洋溢於表。我反倒開懷笑了,笑他遲鈍,後知後覺。316Please respect copyright.PENANA4anMdDrPqD
316Please respect copyright.PENANA6x86hDVUbS
許家偉臉紅,禮貌地點點頭,上前自我介紹。316Please respect copyright.PENANAb91ZvVYKQR
316Please respect copyright.PENANAHMkpGSSXri
「我是文班許家偉。」316Please respect copyright.PENANALgYXYPSwyt
316Please respect copyright.PENANACvwFxidNWk
「我是理班李浩榮。」316Please respect copyright.PENANATPdr23Bep7
畢業多年,我跟李浩榮從未聯絡過——當我這麼講,舊生聚會上人人皆表出乎意料:「你們當年那麼要好,竟然未曾聯絡一次?」316Please respect copyright.PENANArNJwANTIZZ
316Please respect copyright.PENANAXJoSRXUXMO
我笑笑點頭,不多解釋。316Please respect copyright.PENANAxwwuKR9xwq
316Please respect copyright.PENANAhlYuaYyW1P
畢業禮當晚,他告訴我,他的心儀對象喜歡我。我問他那女生是誰,我可以當面拒絕她。他說不必,因為他已不愛他。我感到奇怪:如已釋懷,為何重提。316Please respect copyright.PENANAdWAzlsHUQa
316Please respect copyright.PENANAj68Ka75zEa
李浩榮笑笑,笑說他已覺悟,明白人的真正作用。316Please respect copyright.PENANAsFsrNVG6VQ
316Please respect copyright.PENANAEySShuTXMB
聽到這莫名其妙的答案,我就知道他醉了——他喝下很多酒。316Please respect copyright.PENANAQeRrb3cFoo
316Please respect copyright.PENANAwkFQufkK4j
他說人的真正作用就是將另外兩個不相識的人串連在一起,或是把深交的兩個人分開,例如那女生無意間將我帶到他的人生當中,而我又無意間成為他和青梅竹馬鬧翻原因。316Please respect copyright.PENANAJkJ37CaWFE
316Please respect copyright.PENANAztmNcDYqHH
我大概聽出話裡的話。有點難過,有點無奈,有點害怕——害怕今晚坦白心聲以後,我和李浩榮再無交集。316Please respect copyright.PENANAuZgogwAnFV
316Please respect copyright.PENANAb1GGqCqPrD
但我沒有阻止他。316Please respect copyright.PENANAul9pkcHR4C
316Please respect copyright.PENANAT75U31CAYZ
他壓抑已久,情感需要釋放。這很可能是我以朋友身份給他的最後禮物。316Please respect copyright.PENANAwL0x0OAnoV
316Please respect copyright.PENANAtJE3Nukr5K
我慫恿他繼續說下去。316Please respect copyright.PENANAdQuSR8cw7G
316Please respect copyright.PENANAr6ve2FKZdA
他跟阿強相識於幼稚園。他倆都是頑皮孩子,經常氣得老師向父母投訴,父母夜裡就來一頓痛打。他們經常看到對方手腫腳瘀,起初會擔心對方身體,後來發現彼此不怕捱打,只怕玩得不痛快。相顧輕笑,再玩再捱打……玩著捱著,二人同甘共苦十四年,彼此之間有一種難以言喻的默契——只有阿強看出他非但未曾討厭我,反倒羨慕我的不起眼。316Please respect copyright.PENANA9c9mwaf0lf
316Please respect copyright.PENANA8EiL9eOYr9
我好奇李浩榮何解會羨慕不起眼的人。316Please respect copyright.PENANAoBwJqXQJPH
316Please respect copyright.PENANAh5nqyROx3Y
「不被注意、不被期望,方能活得自由稱心。」316Please respect copyright.PENANAaAfzITSDTr
316Please respect copyright.PENANAryYzbgF7nl
我問他是否有煩惱,可以向我傾訴,也許我能想出好辦法。316Please respect copyright.PENANAjakmDwOXqm
316Please respect copyright.PENANA1lXqyzldbR
李浩榮報以苦笑,沒有正面回答。316Please respect copyright.PENANA7hmr69oeMR
316Please respect copyright.PENANAoA3ZQEQpVe
那夜,他喝得爛醉,我送他回家。316Please respect copyright.PENANAWXQ0OWAr5O
316Please respect copyright.PENANAPyXTnyEPLm
伯母應門。是個凶神惡煞的中年婦,語調急促,不帶尾音。她接過李浩榮,留下一句道謝,利落關門。316Please respect copyright.PENANA7SEKo4pxpU
316Please respect copyright.PENANAe0KwGtFK8A
門關。心頭若有所失——感覺永遠不會再見到李浩榮。316Please respect copyright.PENANAkxQfpw7Czk
316Please respect copyright.PENANAlKEbv73Dcp
其實沒甚麼大不了。這是人生必經的離合過程。不會令我受到任何傷害,亦不會令我蒙受任何損失。著實沒甚麼大不了。316Please respect copyright.PENANA6KsPfXFPlW
316Please respect copyright.PENANAsJLgyJd69I
但我掛念他。316Please respect copyright.PENANAwvx7wXU9DN
316Please respect copyright.PENANAuIMq2AWcWs
不是偶然想起,不是遇上麻煩、需要向他求助,不是看見眼熟物件進而聯想。沒錯,是真正的掛念——我無法自欺。316Please respect copyright.PENANAJefH2dFMtn
316Please respect copyright.PENANAXFSfLF4kAB
想起他,我不期然會笑;想起他,我感覺窩心;想起他,我會自覺孤單可憐。316Please respect copyright.PENANA3lKUDU5KTy
316Please respect copyright.PENANA3SPkvgPZZw
我漸漸意識到這是甚麼一回事。316Please respect copyright.PENANALZSMqPqpSc
316Please respect copyright.PENANA5vq8mtOjCt
糟糕了!怎麼辦?怎麼辦!不知道。316Please respect copyright.PENANA2vzZX6E5Em
316Please respect copyright.PENANAKKkYtAe8fR
不要說。不要聽。不要見。316Please respect copyright.PENANAIg9p7yisLQ
316Please respect copyright.PENANAmLx04JFZuW
希望時間會沖淡一切。316Please respect copyright.PENANASac5Yvgt15
依稀記得畢業翌日在自家客廳梳化醒來的畫面。316Please respect copyright.PENANAEX06uZla4y
316Please respect copyright.PENANA2UgC6xLXxZ
首先映入眼簾的是極端的光與暗、黑與白——廳燈沒有亮起,窗外日光耀眼得刺痛,室內與室外亮度差異極大。眼睛無法於短時間內適應,煞是暈眩,有一股酸餿灼熱自胸腔冒升。想吐。沒法吐。316Please respect copyright.PENANAYbSDGz0SPt
316Please respect copyright.PENANAYWwP41gg8e
阿媽沒有理會我,背對我在廚房煲湯。她對著湯煲說:「昨晚是他送你回來。」316Please respect copyright.PENANAN76XY7lypq
316Please respect copyright.PENANA1e0OU0358e
我敵不過暈眩與劇烈頭痛,重新軟癱梳化上。沒回話打算,反正阿媽定會繼續說下去。316Please respect copyright.PENANAf4gPRsOXBw
316Please respect copyright.PENANANXF4DD3zfM
「我不明白你為何喜歡他。」316Please respect copyright.PENANAmt09pltfVe
316Please respect copyright.PENANAuhBl56QfbK
「我也不明白。」316Please respect copyright.PENANAzx4unE7uqu
316Please respect copyright.PENANASW1EV6Lxtn
「那就不要繼續喜歡。」316Please respect copyright.PENANAA1cZCJaz5T
316Please respect copyright.PENANAyV5FfzzmBR
「感覺,並非可以自由控制的。」316Please respect copyright.PENANAXh3DSJ9bDA
316Please respect copyright.PENANAYBpEo2YEww
「我亦無法自由控制我的兒子喜歡誰。」316Please respect copyright.PENANAG60RWzZheF
316Please respect copyright.PENANAhzLTUeEaTw
「我也無法自由選擇誰是我的母親。」316Please respect copyright.PENANA8Ca7gQVs52
316Please respect copyright.PENANAIexgqwO4Mc
「真抱歉——未得你同意就把你生下來。」316Please respect copyright.PENANAtJ4zkdqSqB
316Please respect copyright.PENANAyZlrjei5yi
「你該要對我感到抱歉。」316Please respect copyright.PENANA2X7yRUGr8T
316Please respect copyright.PENANAYnilId0QAh
我晦氣,毫不掩飾對她的討厭。316Please respect copyright.PENANAuKUv8EiQr8
316Please respect copyright.PENANAYX6TTU2wFW
阿媽沒再多話,繼續在廚房忙著。316Please respect copyright.PENANAX4sb5Cls98
316Please respect copyright.PENANAHw5rlFK4Nu
真要命。人生就是那麼多無謂紛擾。我的人生屬於我,為何旁人總愛插手?316Please respect copyright.PENANALe9552jEj6
316Please respect copyright.PENANAoLAEu7080I
抵著頭痛,我硬撐起身子小便去。316Please respect copyright.PENANA0yhV65YcFA
316Please respect copyright.PENANAR9IMySh2lV
在抽氣扇綿延不斷的摩打聲襯托下,小便聲清脆得噁心。噁感令我清醒不少,昨晚回憶開始隱約浮現。316Please respect copyright.PENANAiyWxYzPP8Y
316Please respect copyright.PENANAFghytlbENf
我似乎講過一些不該出口的話。316Please respect copyright.PENANAS7Whhx0wH8
316Please respect copyright.PENANAtkLzsUBB91
真的嗎?我真的把話說出口?316Please respect copyright.PENANA4jn83On31z
316Please respect copyright.PENANAJKsojg4hJT
為何這麼驚訝?阿強醉倒後,我特意喝下更多酒,不就是為了把話講出口嗎?316Please respect copyright.PENANABWjej8bWEx
316Please respect copyright.PENANAlr9Pp6ivoZ
便意盡,醉意消,騰出來的腦空間被後悔和自責分佔了。我呆上半晌才提起褲子洗手去。316Please respect copyright.PENANAF3QMdzcXY6
316Please respect copyright.PENANALxUJzor4x7
為何要走到這一步?316Please respect copyright.PENANAyQ2rQNN5o1
316Please respect copyright.PENANARgqYVgmzuM
阿強早已看出我對許家偉的感情,擔心我走上「歪路」。我有點兒生氣——誰有資格定義這是否歪路。阿強自知沒能說服我,乾脆將觀察所得告訴我媽。性格暴躁的阿媽一反常態,冷靜淡然勸我切勿繼續投放感情。316Please respect copyright.PENANAgatdNdd6MA
316Please respect copyright.PENANAq0OIjIevOP
「世人表裡不一。口說開明,實質守舊。」316Please respect copyright.PENANAznhgx8sqKj
316Please respect copyright.PENANAvFSyTs91E6
「是嗎?你呢?你口說放棄,心底裡在支持我吧?」316Please respect copyright.PENANAZud4YccBpk
316Please respect copyright.PENANAPW1jq4YXMz
「別倔強。」316Please respect copyright.PENANAZJPK5ZLPpX
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「我想要知道你的真正想法!別敷衍!別蒙混!」316Please respect copyright.PENANAMZPi6AWUQp
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「我想你放棄。」316Please respect copyright.PENANAGX2m6NEs12
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「原因?」316Please respect copyright.PENANATTaoRio7Wq
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「現實終歸是現實的。你將要面對的困難並非單靠信念、希望和愛情就可以解決。」316Please respect copyright.PENANAqlMJYSU2fw
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「我知道。」316Please respect copyright.PENANAwaVMHh11t7
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「何解還要繼續下去?」316Please respect copyright.PENANAuqgQTd5vGm
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「感情易放難收。」316Please respect copyright.PENANAPG8cpISGqV
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阿媽沒法回嘴——「感情」一詞明確否定了邏輯和理智,她還有何話可說,只得被動地待我回心轉意。316Please respect copyright.PENANAQcvmpgd8hS
316Please respect copyright.PENANAjWLErXCgcF
傍晚,我約見阿強,在公園暗處與他打一架。我們手腫腳瘀,有如兒時被父母教訓一樣。看著彼此頹喪模樣,我既心痛亦生氣——我們的友誼不該淪落至此!我們該可以當一輩子兄弟手足!316Please respect copyright.PENANAEjTeytxC18
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架後,我沒有留下片言隻字,待身體稍稍恢復後首先離開回家去,懶理阿強依然躺在草地上粗喘不已。316Please respect copyright.PENANAPgRfNtwImd
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阿媽見我身上有傷,許是大概明白那是甚麼一回事,沒有多問,亦不予關心。316Please respect copyright.PENANARP4ViRIESf
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我不在意,一心思考如何在畢業禮當晚向許家偉表白……316Please respect copyright.PENANA5X4JEB2L39
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畢業禮,是終結也是新開始。學生們穿戴整齊,戰戰兢兢上台領受證書。莘莘學子前途未卜,能夠掌握在手的只有當下。今朝有酒今朝醉,齊齊喝酒齊齊醉。316Please respect copyright.PENANAFJIq0rOzID
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阿強取來一支烈酒,邀我對飲:「追求真愛不是那麼容易。至少要比我更能喝。」316Please respect copyright.PENANACZUaiN7Vy1
316Please respect copyright.PENANAqzxlqIYED3
我欣然接受。他很了解我,許是估計到我將會乘著酒意找許家偉表白去。我唯一擺脫阿強的方法就是先把他灌醉。我們都不是省油的燈,自小經常一起偷偷喝酒,十分清楚對方酒量和醉態——一旦倒下,沒有廿四小時可醒不過來。316Please respect copyright.PENANAuoIu5ia4dQ
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小醉。半醉。大醉。316Please respect copyright.PENANA1GjxACrxoZ
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阿強半伏枱邊,傻笑問我:「想好如何表白了沒?」316Please respect copyright.PENANAzjuJrjXHrj
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「直接講我愛他。」316Please respect copyright.PENANAMDHm8ZcuBf
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「如果他拒絕?」316Please respect copyright.PENANA2K59e7ZU1z
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「沒怎麼樣。就像我之前被女同學拒絕那樣。」316Please respect copyright.PENANAHs8tv8SiO5
316Please respect copyright.PENANAAuyvgVUHdd
「如果他接受了?那怎麼辦?」316Please respect copyright.PENANAkj0HZkg16U
316Please respect copyright.PENANAXWJPhBU0mz
「我當然是高興!」316Please respect copyright.PENANAV2dfPy8WnY
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「我在問,他會怎麼辦?你認為他的內心強大得能夠與你共同面對往後一切?」316Please respect copyright.PENANABZzJ0fGLlM
316Please respect copyright.PENANAhcUfb6vSbC
阿強問了一個我沒有想及的問題。316Please respect copyright.PENANA8IoD2yPK1i
事隔四十年,我和李浩榮在阿強的喪禮上再次聚頭。316Please respect copyright.PENANA8mB6eSVLIB
316Please respect copyright.PENANAqVOibTLZ2f
李浩榮說他在畢業禮後與阿強斷絕了聯絡。我為此道歉。他問我為何道歉。我重提他酒後那段說話。他反問我是否真的認為過錯在我。我答不肯定——我無心令他們鬧翻,但我確是他們鬧翻的原因。316Please respect copyright.PENANAJO23R4ukCb
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李浩榮苦笑,笑容意味深長。316Please respect copyright.PENANA8HywYTol8F
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「阿強沒講錯。你真懦弱。」316Please respect copyright.PENANAldJsUEzgnU
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「活了那麼多年,經歷那麼多事情,我不得不承認自己的懦弱。」316Please respect copyright.PENANACzDMaMsAIp
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「你仍然單身?」316Please respect copyright.PENANA6IKUfo2z7E
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「是的。」316Please respect copyright.PENANAUbSUJo9tv3
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「要我當媒嗎?」316Please respect copyright.PENANAT19BPljzzK
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「不了。難為情。」316Please respect copyright.PENANAuXUOywTmLx
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李浩榮失笑,笑我不值得被愛。316Please respect copyright.PENANAVfWtDhzGfA
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我陪笑,笑說我懂得珍愛自己就可以。316Please respect copyright.PENANACAGqY3DuaI
316Please respect copyright.PENANAJ7n2TdJJMb
多寒暄幾句,我和李浩榮相互道別,分道揚鑣不復見。316Please respect copyright.PENANAi1N3EFP0So
316Please respect copyright.PENANACHR9jbEsSa
抬頭望天,天陰雨冷,冷入心脾。316Please respect copyright.PENANAcLoQVoQ1yQ
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回家吧。316Please respect copyright.PENANAGdxwRJlXBt
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開門。門後空洞空虛空蕩蕩。316Please respect copyright.PENANAAwrzYycY5c
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「戚戚慘慘悽悽,清清冷冷,覓覓尋尋。」興之所至,我一邊脫鞋,一邊倒背《聲聲慢》首三句。316Please respect copyright.PENANAjhlpHvaDJJ
316Please respect copyright.PENANAzF3gdJd7rG
「尋他千百度,驀然回首,那人卻在燈火闌珊處。」沒有脫襪,懶洋洋得撲到梳化上,順口接上《青玉案.元夕》末句。316Please respect copyright.PENANA52sKcVXkkh
316Please respect copyright.PENANAMyBnzL289z
枕臂望窗,映入眼簾的是極端的光與暗、黑與白——廳燈沒有亮起,窗外日光耀眼得刺痛,室內與室外亮度差異極大。驀地憶起日光照在他臉營造出來的明暗,憶起他的臉容氣質,憶起那抹笑容。316Please respect copyright.PENANANOnp4ARdKo
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大概是一見鍾情吧。316Please respect copyright.PENANARAUb68qFPR
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奈何我當年愚鈍懵懂,後知後覺。316Please respect copyright.PENANASgjFt0eDfJ
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如果我當年及早清楚知道自己的意向,結果會否不一樣?316Please respect copyright.PENANAYpo8SSk4Rb
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我笑自己想多了:結果會是一樣的。316Please respect copyright.PENANAcImIuHpqln
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我是懦弱的人,我珍愛自己,所以我不會為他人冒險。我寧願花上一輩子去幻想錯過了的美好愛情,亦不會勇敢踏前一步去追求愛情。316Please respect copyright.PENANA3GyOp8vDNM
316Please respect copyright.PENANAJKOY8ZONNi
李浩榮說得沒錯,我不值得被愛。316Please respect copyright.PENANAGmnwwGKTCC
事隔四十年,昔日摯友躺在棺材裡,往日心上人站在我面前。316Please respect copyright.PENANAX9NDLkUTMX
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百感交集……316Please respect copyright.PENANA2PpXXth4sz
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當年我為了許家偉與阿強鬧翻,事後亦沒敢聯絡許家偉。同時失去摯友和心上人,情感上的痛令我失眠了好幾年。那時候,還以為痛楚會一直維持下去,有如浪漫淒美感人的愛情電影情節。316Please respect copyright.PENANAcdmmNYPoQc
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不過電影終究與現實不同:角色的難忘遭遇濃縮在短短一個半小時裡,情感故此顯得激烈而深刻;現實中的情感必須經過時間洗禮和加入許多愛情以外因素,例如家庭、工作、健康、個人財政等等。316Please respect copyright.PENANAZ9iheifWH2
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痛楚自然而然被淡化掉。我漸漸忘了阿強的忠肝義膽和許家偉的獨特魅力,直至今日再聚……316Please respect copyright.PENANA2iJ0c65g8U
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「認得我嗎?我是許家偉。」316Please respect copyright.PENANAm0eLzqrerb
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「認得。你是文班的。」316Please respect copyright.PENANAsQeKbR6hEf
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許家偉淺笑,笑容如昔,淡然清雅溫婉。316Please respect copyright.PENANA8LvEcUrcbY
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閒聊之間,發現他仍然單身。究其原因,他只道難為情。316Please respect copyright.PENANAufDo4SGLIg
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「你不值得被愛。」我蔑笑。316Please respect copyright.PENANA7eHJ5D0Dn2
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四十年過去,許家偉仍是當初那個許家偉。316Please respect copyright.PENANApR5Salytzr
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阿強沒講錯——他的內心不會強大得能夠與我共同面對一切。316Please respect copyright.PENANA2buChj1jyb
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「我懂得珍愛自己就可以。」許家偉笑著說。316Please respect copyright.PENANA19co4qkXXU
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許家偉在認真?他真心認為這是珍愛自己的行徑?316Please respect copyright.PENANA3VX0P5R8Sc
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我哭笑不得。316Please respect copyright.PENANAw35D7ylYRy
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無意跟他繼續對話。316Please respect copyright.PENANA0ftV0RYg8G
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多寒暄幾句,我和許家偉相互道別,分道揚鑣不復見。316Please respect copyright.PENANAvUcDZ6FRVj
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抬頭望天,天陰雨冷,冷入心脾。