午餐用膳後，男生們大多會將多餘時間花在學校操場，或場上打籃球，或場外觀賽。我亦不例外，在場邊與同學輕聲討論打球技巧。忘形之際，一個籃球高速自後側飛來，狠狠砸中我右耳耳背。場中男生上前向我連聲道歉，我只道不要緊。男生拾球後繼續回場較勁，沒把事情放心上。當然，我也沒所謂，小事一椿。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv5xtgHLgex
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYoZqWwaMNK
令我在意的反倒是球場另邊有個陌生男生對我微笑。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlSIgKSbust
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU4AhIJKvjn
匆匆一笑，半秒即逝。他轉頭跟身邊友人繼續說說笑笑。我挺肯定自己想多了——對方不是故意對著我笑，僅是他的站立姿勢及面向角度湊巧朝著我這邊來。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIj7BFY2smQ
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYLYb7wk68A
但我還是記住了那抹笑容，記住了他的臉容氣質，記住日光照在他臉營造出來的明暗。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnDc0ey8cA1
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe1nuRGw1W5
為何記住？我解釋不了。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxTgZhLl87N
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4k4tdPTdb5
好幾個月過去，夏天轉換為冬。颯颯寒風成功減少場邊女生數目，男生仍然在此閒聊逛蕩。同行朋友忽爾興起，動身到場裡打球。我笑笑婉拒，說吃飽想睡不想動。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXsHIRtuLtd
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5PhUXoWk0t
我獨坐長椅一邊，納悶之際，兩個男生前來佔坐長椅另端空位。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiekoQ628ED
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpNJdbvUejS
其中一個是他。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnJU6qJFE6w
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS56AxO9NhO
那笑那臉那明暗，歷歷在目。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE0cABpUlA3
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8FR3aF78Lz
心頭一顫，我馬上別過臉去。數秒後，我稍為冷靜，意識到自己的失態，佯裝無異，繼續觀看球賽。不過他似乎察覺我的異樣，有意無意對我展露笑容——一個意味深長的笑容。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaDD9MorQJz
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Y3l6emdXH
我尷尬離座回課室去。走樓梯至三樓時，他竟從後叫住我。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2V6MQcj408
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQCBm8Fyg6G
「你遺下銀包。」531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOZJqSCreiG
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhXZuhrlvIt
「謝謝。」531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8uvpd9Lg2p
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfKNizk6sDU
「不用客氣……」531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPPWRkh2W5O
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOs1hcxbeA5
奇怪。看他忸怩模樣，他似乎還有話要對我說。說甚麼？不是必須相識的陌生人可以如何打開話題？甚或是「為何要展開話題」？531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPOy8sKQH7f
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhXpkd1KTCa
氣氛尷尬，四目交投，卻不知如何是好。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmT09NmC4Mv
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ45m2EpA8N0
直至提著半滿水桶和微濕地拖的校工在我倆之間經過，彼此才回過神來，甚有默契同時分別從兩個方向離開。我往上，他往下。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgdikTFOHb3
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjbAO0Xye8d
誰料在午飯時間完結後，我們還是在五樓走廊再次碰面——原來我們都是中五生。由於班別不同、社交圈子不重疊，所以未曾正式認識。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHgnAQqt2u9
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ13cehDqSxW
不要緊。現在互相自我介紹就可以。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwbz2gmmbzw
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxhnTcbXeBH
「我是文班許家偉。」531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsRDIHDN3yR
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEKKtBrR73p
「我是理班李浩榮。」531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWNDbGIx931
其實我早已知道許家偉。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3R71jeyZZj
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp4cKtgN4VR
我心儀對象就是喜歡許家偉。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuB5F0GWVwM
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrim20omZlq
被拒絕的心情久久不散。我開始留意許家偉這個人。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVhzHaWLS2k
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8UqXexCssl
拜託阿強向文班生打探有關許家偉的事。某文班生說許家偉無啥特別，亦無專長或短處，是個存在感不強的乖學生。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1KHrpe9Umy
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGnvNRjsBKj
我不明所以——為何心儀對象看上他？531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuuQPLDOSHm
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6c05BKkBcs
不是認為心儀對象定要接受我或是對方必須比我優勝，只是我真的找不到許家偉有何可愛之處。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw92LQrNSMQ
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1flYlVqpay
不服氣。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK0QzkPF3RW
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLtAHTIYkPm
繼續觀察他。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBBTvOVXla5
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtmjsbOxjUY
匆匆數月，秋去冬來，我對許家偉好奇不減。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuyj4kwOrd3
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvcLxNCXWi5
某天午餐後，我和阿強發現許家偉獨坐操場長椅，於是立即齊齊上前佔據長椅另端，近距離觀察他。他似乎發現我們的奇異目光，動身離開。正感沒趣，阿強發現地上有一個銀包。查看內裡，看見許家偉的學生證。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnYFxbwIXBe
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ06G7ekuY4S
阿強建議取走內裡金錢和學生證，再將銀包交到校務處。我反對，擔心惹禍上身。阿強問我是否討厭許家偉。我無正面回應，僅是堅持物歸原主。阿強讓步，將銀包遞給我。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡflzNx0WvoL
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD3gToaws54
我急步追趕許家偉。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH4cdaiAKMT
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnKkgt7IHHZ
不明白自己此刻行為。正如阿強所問，我不是討厭許家偉嗎？人前，我一直表達對許家偉的討厭；人後，我曾多次理性分析過自己有沒有討厭他的實質理由。沒有，尤其在我對心儀對象忘情以後。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM6hs9UNaSc
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoTaURxDZzP
奈何留意許家偉經已成為我的習慣。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4RYeX2AaZV
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡynGrc9llEE
遠遠看見他的身影，我自然而然打起十二分精神；聽到心儀對象與好友聊天時提及許家偉，我對他的好奇大於對心儀對象的；走經中五級壁報板，會不經意試找許家偉的名字……531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKiz4XQHRdX
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGn4RDXXUhy
「你遺下了銀包。」531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbr9pA8KCns
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC9CNy4hR3S
「謝謝。」531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrAiBCMkGfC
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXo7kIXVGPI
「不用客氣……」531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN2dvbL1Sof
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiVbHyqZdxA
經已物歸原主。他道謝，我虛應，然後該是沒有然後。但我們還是愣在原地。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXQzhs06YTX
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVH9ktrAJ6z
該要說甚麼？還需要說甚麼？沒有啊！但我們還是原地愣著。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7SD9IWqT4M
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNmVvKGGhf9
他是否一早知道我？他是否早已察覺我在留意他？不會吧……531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDGXlyYbDVn
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7dngZCBngO
我望入他雙眼。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPbJ4ofi0Yy
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOqvKfJanLz
不。我鐵定他不認識我。他的眼神迷惘疑惑忐忑，似乎在期待甚麼……531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgz8pO0E6ln
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIGP8nq18Vs
一名校工在我和許家偉之間走過。我在視線被阻擋當刻回過神來，低頭轉身離開。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtk48kcV1rT
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡalOyoHNhNL
我回到操場側長椅。阿強仍在，問我有否教訓許家偉一頓。我苦笑罵他發神經。阿強收起笑容，認真勸我別壓抑情緒。我說理解許家偉是無辜的，不會繼續討厭他。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVc2z8mVJQp
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7u2LCwRDZu
上課鈴聲響起，學生魚貫回課室去。人群中，我在五樓走廊與許家偉迎個正著。他驚訝之情洋溢於表。我反倒開懷笑了，笑他遲鈍，後知後覺。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0iqvWG2Wvd
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXKUlJLkkWY
許家偉臉紅，禮貌地點點頭，上前自我介紹。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ55dKO7JqoN
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCxDqzBNFgW
「我是文班許家偉。」531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJwdcJg1Hkc
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh7UUJlIzMx
「我是理班李浩榮。」531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOGm47WdIZn
畢業多年，我跟李浩榮從未聯絡過——當我這麼講，舊生聚會上人人皆表出乎意料：「你們當年那麼要好，竟然未曾聯絡一次？」531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz0cr9BB3pW
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGoXFQZuotN
我笑笑點頭，不多解釋。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4I6qDpghGr
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBmIz3cgOKl
畢業禮當晚，他告訴我，他的心儀對象喜歡我。我問他那女生是誰，我可以當面拒絕她。他說不必，因為他已不愛他。我感到奇怪：如已釋懷，為何重提。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡggaRnFWCH0
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFH6uTzxm3E
李浩榮笑笑，笑說他已覺悟，明白人的真正作用。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq5EJnPdxIa
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ZWL4Zlsv2
聽到這莫名其妙的答案，我就知道他醉了——他喝下很多酒。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTQaJAEf08Q
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBBcwURYYNs
他說人的真正作用就是將另外兩個不相識的人串連在一起，或是把深交的兩個人分開，例如那女生無意間將我帶到他的人生當中，而我又無意間成為他和青梅竹馬鬧翻原因。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq6sBX9rH3B
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcbMj2If0kA
我大概聽出話裡的話。有點難過，有點無奈，有點害怕——害怕今晚坦白心聲以後，我和李浩榮再無交集。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHvW2ay19CU
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9MAQZYjmWi
但我沒有阻止他。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm2OQTxr1eQ
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrzOkBTf5h4
他壓抑已久，情感需要釋放。這很可能是我以朋友身份給他的最後禮物。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY1Ly9zIQRd
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB4OhXb5D3x
我慫恿他繼續說下去。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6JUsMUg9Vs
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4NlxcCwjQ9
他跟阿強相識於幼稚園。他倆都是頑皮孩子，經常氣得老師向父母投訴，父母夜裡就來一頓痛打。他們經常看到對方手腫腳瘀，起初會擔心對方身體，後來發現彼此不怕捱打，只怕玩得不痛快。相顧輕笑，再玩再捱打……玩著捱著，二人同甘共苦十四年，彼此之間有一種難以言喻的默契——只有阿強看出他非但未曾討厭我，反倒羨慕我的不起眼。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ttntg5rpt
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjX26JtDKyb
我好奇李浩榮何解會羨慕不起眼的人。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsGFaIe5ipX
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB91Pepuc2R
「不被注意、不被期望，方能活得自由稱心。」531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuGYuMhMtlV
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCS1c9CylGY
我問他是否有煩惱，可以向我傾訴，也許我能想出好辦法。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡebC6UTW1XU
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH4O1QGzPKw
李浩榮報以苦笑，沒有正面回答。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlAtwhQ58Fa
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGgdZWAKpyu
那夜，他喝得爛醉，我送他回家。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ29hRjYJykR
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXdg5eIEHaM
伯母應門。是個凶神惡煞的中年婦，語調急促，不帶尾音。她接過李浩榮，留下一句道謝，利落關門。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuOsC9zXAFW
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd3mfA0uFrf
門關。心頭若有所失——感覺永遠不會再見到李浩榮。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBUSAyUpcgE
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlBVZZ4jk2f
其實沒甚麼大不了。這是人生必經的離合過程。不會令我受到任何傷害，亦不會令我蒙受任何損失。著實沒甚麼大不了。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWzvz8CyQjm
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7RfBTNrbLP
但我掛念他。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYb3gyiyO0O
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTJAKVrVOWl
不是偶然想起，不是遇上麻煩、需要向他求助，不是看見眼熟物件進而聯想。沒錯，是真正的掛念——我無法自欺。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3DAhVvTbgH
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjoTf6csTTO
想起他，我不期然會笑；想起他，我感覺窩心；想起他，我會自覺孤單可憐。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK3g5HxqHz1
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSjkhitq35c
我漸漸意識到這是甚麼一回事。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJYgaUlw3y1
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYs5crRX0Ua
糟糕了！怎麼辦？怎麼辦！不知道。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡESPY62PmwV
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCTNBCgJCBT
不要說。不要聽。不要見。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6WtUbRp6vu
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUqImOdO64N
希望時間會沖淡一切。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtrrkI8WRA9
依稀記得畢業翌日在自家客廳梳化醒來的畫面。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS8F7gtlbwO
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrr7WxYwKfW
首先映入眼簾的是極端的光與暗、黑與白——廳燈沒有亮起，窗外日光耀眼得刺痛，室內與室外亮度差異極大。眼睛無法於短時間內適應，煞是暈眩，有一股酸餿灼熱自胸腔冒升。想吐。沒法吐。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr1GPzuNneO
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoeQboG2v7w
阿媽沒有理會我，背對我在廚房煲湯。她對著湯煲說：「昨晚是他送你回來。」531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9pDJIUmFX6
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Zug8YPCp1
我敵不過暈眩與劇烈頭痛，重新軟癱梳化上。沒回話打算，反正阿媽定會繼續說下去。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuB3dYUhMOH
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKu1QqPkv6C
「我不明白你為何喜歡他。」531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP6y9Sz8Y1o
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡICgvVcFkxG
「我也不明白。」531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjPfpSI7gCb
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLZfWXOxe8E
「那就不要繼續喜歡。」531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZUfMOr2nru
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3xcsmnS4J4
「感覺，並非可以自由控制的。」531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4s0UkUfraR
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKBm2PGIBP6
「我亦無法自由控制我的兒子喜歡誰。」531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr52Vf5wDbW
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYCNthvY8il
「我也無法自由選擇誰是我的母親。」531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIvHhr3SHg0
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLspHmgl0aa
「真抱歉——未得你同意就把你生下來。」531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCXlSnGGyqb
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt4CHI4IloN
「你該要對我感到抱歉。」531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtbvrerHKRk
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5NcwKgT9Wr
我晦氣，毫不掩飾對她的討厭。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm5TCQQOGrm
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeNYfQs0VxG
阿媽沒再多話，繼續在廚房忙著。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIdLk2faD3C
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLDcjhRdxGD
真要命。人生就是那麼多無謂紛擾。我的人生屬於我，為何旁人總愛插手？531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcAsOrbqIDQ
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjwVQGCmXUy
抵著頭痛，我硬撐起身子小便去。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7xy8Q2UfhZ
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLfUomRQfB8
在抽氣扇綿延不斷的摩打聲襯托下，小便聲清脆得噁心。噁感令我清醒不少，昨晚回憶開始隱約浮現。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBWXgslhCSm
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPeFCItkq4E
我似乎講過一些不該出口的話。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOleAVRRaqk
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJiSEddjYOM
真的嗎？我真的把話說出口？531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVOcWCdqwsG
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0NIw0ZPTTv
為何這麼驚訝？阿強醉倒後，我特意喝下更多酒，不就是為了把話講出口嗎？531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjEQiwZIpTJ
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCCzbu1nKR4
便意盡，醉意消，騰出來的腦空間被後悔和自責分佔了。我呆上半晌才提起褲子洗手去。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnfRTfYlWnt
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7QGZtC3Zwf
為何要走到這一步？531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCOfiu98jlC
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqkwZb7g2MS
阿強早已看出我對許家偉的感情，擔心我走上「歪路」。我有點兒生氣——誰有資格定義這是否歪路。阿強自知沒能說服我，乾脆將觀察所得告訴我媽。性格暴躁的阿媽一反常態，冷靜淡然勸我切勿繼續投放感情。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ1m1ldYEIg
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ibnZ8KYRU
「世人表裡不一。口說開明，實質守舊。」531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2PCIY1maWe
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7odxIASFBb
「是嗎？你呢？你口說放棄，心底裡在支持我吧？」531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtJg9gJZ7KX
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8xfiQpu9dR
「別倔強。」531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQCB47mECiu
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡft5z9hcW0b
「我想要知道你的真正想法！別敷衍！別蒙混！」531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVYfa7ZlFuK
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡblOxSkHedb
「我想你放棄。」531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGHPGTEDieL
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQGMzhICCzq
「原因？」531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpskvmSw6WM
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVkwOuLXjHH
「現實終歸是現實的。你將要面對的困難並非單靠信念、希望和愛情就可以解決。」531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWVj7h7K9iP
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ13SsJn1224
「我知道。」531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡINkFV73B4x
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD9dVobbWoo
「何解還要繼續下去？」531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm5P0I8F0XC
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjO80qw3hL0
「感情易放難收。」531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLKrdNjCpDX
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6SsKw7oYFC
阿媽沒法回嘴——「感情」一詞明確否定了邏輯和理智，她還有何話可說，只得被動地待我回心轉意。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoU8wsLovNk
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9REhm08NhE
傍晚，我約見阿強，在公園暗處與他打一架。我們手腫腳瘀，有如兒時被父母教訓一樣。看著彼此頹喪模樣，我既心痛亦生氣——我們的友誼不該淪落至此！我們該可以當一輩子兄弟手足！531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiIsuY23ZLv
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWokR0b1i3f
架後，我沒有留下片言隻字，待身體稍稍恢復後首先離開回家去，懶理阿強依然躺在草地上粗喘不已。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAbqNb4a4ol
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7HLJaCbdYl
阿媽見我身上有傷，許是大概明白那是甚麼一回事，沒有多問，亦不予關心。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBfxjJnWHfM
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6YIJzvRdXC
我不在意，一心思考如何在畢業禮當晚向許家偉表白……531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡexe4xu58og
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrUU17srTyd
畢業禮，是終結也是新開始。學生們穿戴整齊，戰戰兢兢上台領受證書。莘莘學子前途未卜，能夠掌握在手的只有當下。今朝有酒今朝醉，齊齊喝酒齊齊醉。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeqpEyzUWSe
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYD1ycHfGSm
阿強取來一支烈酒，邀我對飲：「追求真愛不是那麼容易。至少要比我更能喝。」531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDAWxWDWKhk
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg9F5Yl9sKt
我欣然接受。他很了解我，許是估計到我將會乘著酒意找許家偉表白去。我唯一擺脫阿強的方法就是先把他灌醉。我們都不是省油的燈，自小經常一起偷偷喝酒，十分清楚對方酒量和醉態——一旦倒下，沒有廿四小時可醒不過來。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwrIjoOLJWb
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWBKLoeGwrC
小醉。半醉。大醉。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡndvxpTfW2R
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYSKKfCMIds
阿強半伏枱邊，傻笑問我：「想好如何表白了沒？」531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDTNpSIAdVz
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ12qN9YFh9M
「直接講我愛他。」531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1TGoSuHss5
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKfHgZZvu5I
「如果他拒絕？」531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6kgqbeQsmp
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNo4Oc0ce1d
「沒怎麼樣。就像我之前被女同學拒絕那樣。」531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7w0KPjUT3H
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVJCPD7mozs
「如果他接受了？那怎麼辦？」531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8jtouR1tz9
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvNIwaWF40O
「我當然是高興！」531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDfYZELts4w
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLOtz4Ip7xR
「我在問，他會怎麼辦？你認為他的內心強大得能夠與你共同面對往後一切？」531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ59RRmoIfHb
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9tsJMeNMWn
阿強問了一個我沒有想及的問題。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡstQZ6te6O2
事隔四十年，我和李浩榮在阿強的喪禮上再次聚頭。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIfNHEwhh0e
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv3ZJHfscU2
李浩榮說他在畢業禮後與阿強斷絕了聯絡。我為此道歉。他問我為何道歉。我重提他酒後那段說話。他反問我是否真的認為過錯在我。我答不肯定——我無心令他們鬧翻，但我確是他們鬧翻的原因。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN2aqsppvTu
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYrQH3rUfvJ
李浩榮苦笑，笑容意味深長。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7xOlxZZuDi
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe5zrVhgTj9
「阿強沒講錯。你真懦弱。」531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8WcOkSBHob
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAWUXek18Bx
「活了那麼多年，經歷那麼多事情，我不得不承認自己的懦弱。」531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMuHxpqFLzR
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOW0LyvZaLT
「你仍然單身？」531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLlm5Wh1baW
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1OGXg0CN3L
「是的。」531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBmjjpTioit
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQfs8ClUKI7
「要我當媒嗎？」531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPCpaiWMzWu
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYLoCvNAr98
「不了。難為情。」531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7S90dUsg5N
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYSbGtzbNxO
李浩榮失笑，笑我不值得被愛。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ikcFtJOXB
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxVGzdUFFwo
我陪笑，笑說我懂得珍愛自己就可以。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Gz34y9DuK
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFZuhC5KTLy
多寒暄幾句，我和李浩榮相互道別，分道揚鑣不復見。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoNpGJ3ils5
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ34dpRpBiCI
抬頭望天，天陰雨冷，冷入心脾。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTlMcwlM8Qh
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqLWo8CDwp8
回家吧。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxVU5WZQIHJ
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9XBs9ihOdR
開門。門後空洞空虛空蕩蕩。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZMeHr0glMn
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvIaL9uv2xU
「戚戚慘慘悽悽，清清冷冷，覓覓尋尋。」興之所至，我一邊脫鞋，一邊倒背《聲聲慢》首三句。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyFlKpSiAFA
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1zCNlm0SRA
「尋他千百度，驀然回首，那人卻在燈火闌珊處。」沒有脫襪，懶洋洋得撲到梳化上，順口接上《青玉案．元夕》末句。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcI5tSu4hsQ
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG8dhlYT3wx
枕臂望窗，映入眼簾的是極端的光與暗、黑與白——廳燈沒有亮起，窗外日光耀眼得刺痛，室內與室外亮度差異極大。驀地憶起日光照在他臉營造出來的明暗，憶起他的臉容氣質，憶起那抹笑容。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9u7m0lxu1H
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBD8r2qmtn7
大概是一見鍾情吧。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNZH4f2zqK2
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJJEmAFAfeI
奈何我當年愚鈍懵懂，後知後覺。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf2pmbhzqfX
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ZWod9iGm3
如果我當年及早清楚知道自己的意向，結果會否不一樣？531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbbbXzJ5oWE
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW1RnuLv5Xx
我笑自己想多了：結果會是一樣的。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkfpLBGF1n9
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Q6v0pFc6N
我是懦弱的人，我珍愛自己，所以我不會為他人冒險。我寧願花上一輩子去幻想錯過了的美好愛情，亦不會勇敢踏前一步去追求愛情。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUNUEK0Ci1U
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFfJ1tKNMiA
李浩榮說得沒錯，我不值得被愛。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxOFZKzFy3c
事隔四十年，昔日摯友躺在棺材裡，往日心上人站在我面前。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV78dhgHuGA
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw7WXvu2r4f
百感交集……531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6qCGds1NZF
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0bfEgmlsxm
當年我為了許家偉與阿強鬧翻，事後亦沒敢聯絡許家偉。同時失去摯友和心上人，情感上的痛令我失眠了好幾年。那時候，還以為痛楚會一直維持下去，有如浪漫淒美感人的愛情電影情節。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu4x9spPLmS
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDJT5IDGDnr
不過電影終究與現實不同：角色的難忘遭遇濃縮在短短一個半小時裡，情感故此顯得激烈而深刻；現實中的情感必須經過時間洗禮和加入許多愛情以外因素，例如家庭、工作、健康、個人財政等等。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ90Z0XlAn87
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHIJBYghj69
痛楚自然而然被淡化掉。我漸漸忘了阿強的忠肝義膽和許家偉的獨特魅力，直至今日再聚……531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSYRCsTHzZv
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYW00Rc76iV
「認得我嗎？我是許家偉。」531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ECNzPreL7
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ389K0AKmiT
「認得。你是文班的。」531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEN5V6oJl0J
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlPEvmoDe8X
許家偉淺笑，笑容如昔，淡然清雅溫婉。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNpNnoPCJgl
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTcG7I4qNCj
閒聊之間，發現他仍然單身。究其原因，他只道難為情。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo38NKP1QwB
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiTkF5ozaBE
「你不值得被愛。」我蔑笑。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIRFKa7fAEK
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHCydB5kEHg
四十年過去，許家偉仍是當初那個許家偉。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm9367nkNre
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDXzpSSlY32
阿強沒講錯——他的內心不會強大得能夠與我共同面對一切。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9nFJ6v3CqW
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNDlZ3nE9cA
「我懂得珍愛自己就可以。」許家偉笑著說。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLdqxkWJ58R
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡszw0dpJIzR
許家偉在認真？他真心認為這是珍愛自己的行徑？531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhOwf4Va2iH
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfMHmGWr8Bx
我哭笑不得。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn2gTTFqxNp
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtBIFaTa7zL
無意跟他繼續對話。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFJ0NMb4q9P
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl5SIAmybi2
多寒暄幾句，我和許家偉相互道別，分道揚鑣不復見。531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgLF29PWv5P
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOvpJ5iL3vj
抬頭望天，天陰雨冷，冷入心脾。
然後按「加至主畫面」