午餐用膳後，男生們大多會將多餘時間花在學校操場，或場上打籃球，或場外觀賽。我亦不例外，在場邊與同學輕聲討論打球技巧。忘形之際，一個籃球高速自後側飛來，狠狠砸中我右耳耳背。場中男生上前向我連聲道歉，我只道不要緊。男生拾球後繼續回場較勁，沒把事情放心上。當然，我也沒所謂，小事一椿。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4T7uTQ6Nl8
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYXJa1DH3Tx
令我在意的反倒是球場另邊有個陌生男生對我微笑。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHkX4YBkT7S
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3mUDx98MRL
匆匆一笑，半秒即逝。他轉頭跟身邊友人繼續說說笑笑。我挺肯定自己想多了——對方不是故意對著我笑，僅是他的站立姿勢及面向角度湊巧朝著我這邊來。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMQrtXQSEnn
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkRsaVPtcOk
但我還是記住了那抹笑容，記住了他的臉容氣質，記住日光照在他臉營造出來的明暗。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiIHj85GcEd
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvZdSucj3LV
為何記住？我解釋不了。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVAfFnLNcyO
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsR1Xp0r1YE
好幾個月過去，夏天轉換為冬。颯颯寒風成功減少場邊女生數目，男生仍然在此閒聊逛蕩。同行朋友忽爾興起，動身到場裡打球。我笑笑婉拒，說吃飽想睡不想動。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyvAYa7uJ2t
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj95XqdKWKi
我獨坐長椅一邊，納悶之際，兩個男生前來佔坐長椅另端空位。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkLl8818uDi
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQH3lrDQmXs
其中一個是他。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7YQ8oGBUy1
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5uOrJfuzMv
那笑那臉那明暗，歷歷在目。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4e5AFoa76Q
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP397T3d8kr
心頭一顫，我馬上別過臉去。數秒後，我稍為冷靜，意識到自己的失態，佯裝無異，繼續觀看球賽。不過他似乎察覺我的異樣，有意無意對我展露笑容——一個意味深長的笑容。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsANdvYNMii
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzFMLx9Adzj
我尷尬離座回課室去。走樓梯至三樓時，他竟從後叫住我。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiqZV2PLS1G
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrJaGgLIjJm
「你遺下銀包。」623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjAI9W7hwHN
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Javw5fBpL
「謝謝。」623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKvZyStlY5f
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcqvHqF56XF
「不用客氣……」623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdGBZDJyOiL
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR5Gn1ZPvn5
奇怪。看他忸怩模樣，他似乎還有話要對我說。說甚麼？不是必須相識的陌生人可以如何打開話題？甚或是「為何要展開話題」？623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBfGzZZbg18
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyWrZJibe5E
氣氛尷尬，四目交投，卻不知如何是好。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbhGsZhAylY
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlfNZYvTplA
直至提著半滿水桶和微濕地拖的校工在我倆之間經過，彼此才回過神來，甚有默契同時分別從兩個方向離開。我往上，他往下。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvfFR88sbLN
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvC4taK453U
誰料在午飯時間完結後，我們還是在五樓走廊再次碰面——原來我們都是中五生。由於班別不同、社交圈子不重疊，所以未曾正式認識。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWohgWFajgS
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgJ6yoHgsUB
不要緊。現在互相自我介紹就可以。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXLOcNPfWY1
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaaJwveTxUh
「我是文班許家偉。」623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqxhCOuj2yB
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgonycPpDsl
「我是理班李浩榮。」623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXaYbIZNzfh
其實我早已知道許家偉。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS1Mfbwffe2
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC3rTHMZXB5
我心儀對象就是喜歡許家偉。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuVoJNohZLP
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjlvJCYxN9n
被拒絕的心情久久不散。我開始留意許家偉這個人。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtRPi4vB7hC
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3rxJk7KrjB
拜託阿強向文班生打探有關許家偉的事。某文班生說許家偉無啥特別，亦無專長或短處，是個存在感不強的乖學生。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIvvOH3Omf5
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzMPWGm507Q
我不明所以——為何心儀對象看上他？623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXexewsW8ZW
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrLV9slnftk
不是認為心儀對象定要接受我或是對方必須比我優勝，只是我真的找不到許家偉有何可愛之處。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB4rAj3H6bD
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8vyM0ofq5L
不服氣。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRus6HKLeAH
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqy4CvLyFMY
繼續觀察他。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡARQf45MvFZ
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9j3O2mP3JS
匆匆數月，秋去冬來，我對許家偉好奇不減。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRpb3q4RtHV
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRuqOQclyTH
某天午餐後，我和阿強發現許家偉獨坐操場長椅，於是立即齊齊上前佔據長椅另端，近距離觀察他。他似乎發現我們的奇異目光，動身離開。正感沒趣，阿強發現地上有一個銀包。查看內裡，看見許家偉的學生證。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfKSdAC6FJj
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9IJ8P7Hpoe
阿強建議取走內裡金錢和學生證，再將銀包交到校務處。我反對，擔心惹禍上身。阿強問我是否討厭許家偉。我無正面回應，僅是堅持物歸原主。阿強讓步，將銀包遞給我。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwBqNrrPiTl
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUEO9zCNJkF
我急步追趕許家偉。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZaKVjTb03J
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbPRD4O1UUX
不明白自己此刻行為。正如阿強所問，我不是討厭許家偉嗎？人前，我一直表達對許家偉的討厭；人後，我曾多次理性分析過自己有沒有討厭他的實質理由。沒有，尤其在我對心儀對象忘情以後。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDShwbI9B2i
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmjwGNzme07
奈何留意許家偉經已成為我的習慣。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK9lAT4hcrb
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvbX2HVGchv
遠遠看見他的身影，我自然而然打起十二分精神；聽到心儀對象與好友聊天時提及許家偉，我對他的好奇大於對心儀對象的；走經中五級壁報板，會不經意試找許家偉的名字……623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFPcPLUGD2g
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr86R5tag5I
「你遺下了銀包。」623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMTLzyZbVcX
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDpQIbAJ12O
「謝謝。」623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRA7TGI3VlP
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBNCsKJyoBg
「不用客氣……」623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvRO7XSn08W
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWo1Hckb1ws
經已物歸原主。他道謝，我虛應，然後該是沒有然後。但我們還是愣在原地。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcwM0fIpExm
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPcf6yCgK5L
該要說甚麼？還需要說甚麼？沒有啊！但我們還是原地愣著。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNQILutCeP2
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEYpqmEOXnc
他是否一早知道我？他是否早已察覺我在留意他？不會吧……623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIRIS8lsi3O
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGdztd7XuN1
我望入他雙眼。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNzrsMMDb5z
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡri3rL2bDMB
不。我鐵定他不認識我。他的眼神迷惘疑惑忐忑，似乎在期待甚麼……623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6OSjzMIB9G
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKq7QJO4r1d
一名校工在我和許家偉之間走過。我在視線被阻擋當刻回過神來，低頭轉身離開。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjgRyeCMcxz
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT6d6yACQaq
我回到操場側長椅。阿強仍在，問我有否教訓許家偉一頓。我苦笑罵他發神經。阿強收起笑容，認真勸我別壓抑情緒。我說理解許家偉是無辜的，不會繼續討厭他。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxIMPLpjmDU
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIH4dHbwTdf
上課鈴聲響起，學生魚貫回課室去。人群中，我在五樓走廊與許家偉迎個正著。他驚訝之情洋溢於表。我反倒開懷笑了，笑他遲鈍，後知後覺。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXiaTltfHgC
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmHnTCuPPMu
許家偉臉紅，禮貌地點點頭，上前自我介紹。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBIFCVWmsgw
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtBZuxwKWvq
「我是文班許家偉。」623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfLaWIwu7kF
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB46ddoyclF
「我是理班李浩榮。」623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2PYzllyRB0
畢業多年，我跟李浩榮從未聯絡過——當我這麼講，舊生聚會上人人皆表出乎意料：「你們當年那麼要好，竟然未曾聯絡一次？」623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkpWWOXtXWd
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVhHi8CYsmC
我笑笑點頭，不多解釋。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJMljApu3X2
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsaG1t2rxzs
畢業禮當晚，他告訴我，他的心儀對象喜歡我。我問他那女生是誰，我可以當面拒絕她。他說不必，因為他已不愛他。我感到奇怪：如已釋懷，為何重提。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbeV2jNB75I
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡekcErXe8bB
李浩榮笑笑，笑說他已覺悟，明白人的真正作用。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Krj3sRQd5
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTe5d6cTDJK
聽到這莫名其妙的答案，我就知道他醉了——他喝下很多酒。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdwA8n1JtsY
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOxxabGGEVw
他說人的真正作用就是將另外兩個不相識的人串連在一起，或是把深交的兩個人分開，例如那女生無意間將我帶到他的人生當中，而我又無意間成為他和青梅竹馬鬧翻原因。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ7e7Ek1z1G
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNmZY8J6pjt
我大概聽出話裡的話。有點難過，有點無奈，有點害怕——害怕今晚坦白心聲以後，我和李浩榮再無交集。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOKP23UBf47
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEJO1K6j5pi
但我沒有阻止他。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPGYaqDAhfv
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMc88XQlwDa
他壓抑已久，情感需要釋放。這很可能是我以朋友身份給他的最後禮物。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjCvg2JvMRe
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfN11RsXQWb
我慫恿他繼續說下去。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVHdN8lVUpu
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ97yBP4wuEU
他跟阿強相識於幼稚園。他倆都是頑皮孩子，經常氣得老師向父母投訴，父母夜裡就來一頓痛打。他們經常看到對方手腫腳瘀，起初會擔心對方身體，後來發現彼此不怕捱打，只怕玩得不痛快。相顧輕笑，再玩再捱打……玩著捱著，二人同甘共苦十四年，彼此之間有一種難以言喻的默契——只有阿強看出他非但未曾討厭我，反倒羨慕我的不起眼。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL4LMLU6xo9
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGZoDOVAzhW
我好奇李浩榮何解會羨慕不起眼的人。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfdCBzT6EKp
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi6VmbtgcHL
「不被注意、不被期望，方能活得自由稱心。」623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjcO7BATW8r
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8M7dOU2lYx
我問他是否有煩惱，可以向我傾訴，也許我能想出好辦法。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgBrwkxNv88
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfT3IajAc3g
李浩榮報以苦笑，沒有正面回答。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh7zcSVO7su
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLf2dXqQbEQ
那夜，他喝得爛醉，我送他回家。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYQ2U7lvS2d
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLEC0UQAe0y
伯母應門。是個凶神惡煞的中年婦，語調急促，不帶尾音。她接過李浩榮，留下一句道謝，利落關門。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhOCqezJQBW
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR1QI36pMPd
門關。心頭若有所失——感覺永遠不會再見到李浩榮。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ10XbeQbwQ9
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyBNpbWVXiV
其實沒甚麼大不了。這是人生必經的離合過程。不會令我受到任何傷害，亦不會令我蒙受任何損失。著實沒甚麼大不了。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOGtlfC5tPE
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkutBUfVbgz
但我掛念他。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBITM4IcZpA
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxR6qtHjGr3
不是偶然想起，不是遇上麻煩、需要向他求助，不是看見眼熟物件進而聯想。沒錯，是真正的掛念——我無法自欺。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6yYQfo2MAx
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9znQnvvMQx
想起他，我不期然會笑；想起他，我感覺窩心；想起他，我會自覺孤單可憐。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaUn82DicPx
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiNrytG8z1Z
我漸漸意識到這是甚麼一回事。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSw84ynhGmu
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡibbPyn0Tty
糟糕了！怎麼辦？怎麼辦！不知道。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdpqw2WsXPA
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnkl7flRlGt
不要說。不要聽。不要見。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRUcr7J4hR1
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjFmFAlwcIR
希望時間會沖淡一切。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2M7xvcwd7v
依稀記得畢業翌日在自家客廳梳化醒來的畫面。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7sojbvGnsC
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzIW9xPHLWU
首先映入眼簾的是極端的光與暗、黑與白——廳燈沒有亮起，窗外日光耀眼得刺痛，室內與室外亮度差異極大。眼睛無法於短時間內適應，煞是暈眩，有一股酸餿灼熱自胸腔冒升。想吐。沒法吐。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjaZXEPuEQU
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ8WNrBfxtF
阿媽沒有理會我，背對我在廚房煲湯。她對著湯煲說：「昨晚是他送你回來。」623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIAS5XhhwDC
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSiYCP1tgbA
我敵不過暈眩與劇烈頭痛，重新軟癱梳化上。沒回話打算，反正阿媽定會繼續說下去。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0rudd6UJee
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcvagmPifxr
「我不明白你為何喜歡他。」623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmOTpUNfowB
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsjSO2udEKT
「我也不明白。」623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6c1nR1J9fx
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZK5onwLJhJ
「那就不要繼續喜歡。」623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyfXN1hS7Kq
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAHE1XUcCJq
「感覺，並非可以自由控制的。」623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ63CDcoiNum
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVj2p6ZjGiR
「我亦無法自由控制我的兒子喜歡誰。」623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡno0UJf8IQC
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfY5ih8nKYi
「我也無法自由選擇誰是我的母親。」623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqwNRRg6iXD
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ83KD47u0iF
「真抱歉——未得你同意就把你生下來。」623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeVytN171et
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡifg10vmvGS
「你該要對我感到抱歉。」623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFrT8bIIiLB
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡopa79Hc7pA
我晦氣，毫不掩飾對她的討厭。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrs5dnbTLxy
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAQQeS1Skop
阿媽沒再多話，繼續在廚房忙著。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTzmGTxOVdR
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNXBU02Ytol
真要命。人生就是那麼多無謂紛擾。我的人生屬於我，為何旁人總愛插手？623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKvvBWCTwwB
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPH7gCbrP58
抵著頭痛，我硬撐起身子小便去。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlsz8COXlUE
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHVP3kp2C9g
在抽氣扇綿延不斷的摩打聲襯托下，小便聲清脆得噁心。噁感令我清醒不少，昨晚回憶開始隱約浮現。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡubuDGFQJRe
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLSMAU8opoO
我似乎講過一些不該出口的話。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3WwxZgX5ZQ
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPlF23IVZbr
真的嗎？我真的把話說出口？623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIPlzycfoj4
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtevziimQjY
為何這麼驚訝？阿強醉倒後，我特意喝下更多酒，不就是為了把話講出口嗎？623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK8mjUUW8qh
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeIwM7s3uRm
便意盡，醉意消，騰出來的腦空間被後悔和自責分佔了。我呆上半晌才提起褲子洗手去。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkdDFlec1kQ
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPyk5atzy2b
為何要走到這一步？623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdA2wFR0NjE
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpLRum31zMq
阿強早已看出我對許家偉的感情，擔心我走上「歪路」。我有點兒生氣——誰有資格定義這是否歪路。阿強自知沒能說服我，乾脆將觀察所得告訴我媽。性格暴躁的阿媽一反常態，冷靜淡然勸我切勿繼續投放感情。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK41MWCrq1R
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWcMs21orhO
「世人表裡不一。口說開明，實質守舊。」623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdCzaHPwNic
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYBjInlkGmZ
「是嗎？你呢？你口說放棄，心底裡在支持我吧？」623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFEm92BqK7Z
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Qn6XfKMvg
「別倔強。」623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuJCaNyGxe6
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOtwbtDFUov
「我想要知道你的真正想法！別敷衍！別蒙混！」623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwjLEIxWUhi
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgC91jz0xhm
「我想你放棄。」623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Ly4vCZAKL
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfyd1jyFwZH
「原因？」623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUjFGQeQfwu
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeI1zjFvwLN
「現實終歸是現實的。你將要面對的困難並非單靠信念、希望和愛情就可以解決。」623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeX9ivfBQR7
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtU6wHnXJMc
「我知道。」623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLI1SSouFNX
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgVZ7ME6kyE
「何解還要繼續下去？」623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKKPh7qOqRG
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡecZnkhXA1i
「感情易放難收。」623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDxlGNMxN55
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWo9rKgnoFK
阿媽沒法回嘴——「感情」一詞明確否定了邏輯和理智，她還有何話可說，只得被動地待我回心轉意。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIrO3m2KPfj
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwPo55Yahrq
傍晚，我約見阿強，在公園暗處與他打一架。我們手腫腳瘀，有如兒時被父母教訓一樣。看著彼此頹喪模樣，我既心痛亦生氣——我們的友誼不該淪落至此！我們該可以當一輩子兄弟手足！623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsa53s3fLdz
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzFCnUJ2dRl
架後，我沒有留下片言隻字，待身體稍稍恢復後首先離開回家去，懶理阿強依然躺在草地上粗喘不已。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyKm1LnnJhz
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkJZfjxZV4a
阿媽見我身上有傷，許是大概明白那是甚麼一回事，沒有多問，亦不予關心。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1cPzNvNLyv
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH5yQhv0tWp
我不在意，一心思考如何在畢業禮當晚向許家偉表白……623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQiiBRTri20
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEZVXoc5Uze
畢業禮，是終結也是新開始。學生們穿戴整齊，戰戰兢兢上台領受證書。莘莘學子前途未卜，能夠掌握在手的只有當下。今朝有酒今朝醉，齊齊喝酒齊齊醉。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡScK4DsMFD0
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUsyRfHl0pI
阿強取來一支烈酒，邀我對飲：「追求真愛不是那麼容易。至少要比我更能喝。」623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6VogtFLNkp
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpjlidEUkHg
我欣然接受。他很了解我，許是估計到我將會乘著酒意找許家偉表白去。我唯一擺脫阿強的方法就是先把他灌醉。我們都不是省油的燈，自小經常一起偷偷喝酒，十分清楚對方酒量和醉態——一旦倒下，沒有廿四小時可醒不過來。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpevaUTomEu
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG4tQN7K4Qe
小醉。半醉。大醉。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdtxT54ug4V
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYDDD3g1obj
阿強半伏枱邊，傻笑問我：「想好如何表白了沒？」623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVcTDF0dyfz
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXzETmI81RP
「直接講我愛他。」623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt5LlezUKT6
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxTUd2mwCY8
「如果他拒絕？」623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWrHOpqKQqD
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFfZ7WsKFUg
「沒怎麼樣。就像我之前被女同學拒絕那樣。」623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqIvRtvDfXq
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5rNbmPrFNV
「如果他接受了？那怎麼辦？」623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgWvBIzQowH
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsYNy6XXElX
「我當然是高興！」623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyOIbmLG5V4
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEFsW0acTAZ
「我在問，他會怎麼辦？你認為他的內心強大得能夠與你共同面對往後一切？」623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw2hbrpduhw
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBzefOAU6vR
阿強問了一個我沒有想及的問題。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrKFCrIo36F
事隔四十年，我和李浩榮在阿強的喪禮上再次聚頭。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5RRKDZpvZG
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5LPRjEzBju
李浩榮說他在畢業禮後與阿強斷絕了聯絡。我為此道歉。他問我為何道歉。我重提他酒後那段說話。他反問我是否真的認為過錯在我。我答不肯定——我無心令他們鬧翻，但我確是他們鬧翻的原因。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzHms04AydH
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCVnV1TRCM5
李浩榮苦笑，笑容意味深長。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzCpSU63j7g
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡodpTuvII2o
「阿強沒講錯。你真懦弱。」623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrhmdQApH6Q
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVkS2DDwQCV
「活了那麼多年，經歷那麼多事情，我不得不承認自己的懦弱。」623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdCbB8h63Mn
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6s6BL6hzzq
「你仍然單身？」623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp6miQuowIf
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYEZaoGl1wG
「是的。」623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC880fwWmuU
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEoWV3aS0uY
「要我當媒嗎？」623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGPy5uT2Jd9
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbgHM8SchZR
「不了。難為情。」623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwjztRQ7Rjr
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMlKCc6pTdz
李浩榮失笑，笑我不值得被愛。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0sMRPKNiKR
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe73fTUC2hm
我陪笑，笑說我懂得珍愛自己就可以。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXeRkkh6pRL
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG9L7JSDkhx
多寒暄幾句，我和李浩榮相互道別，分道揚鑣不復見。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcWfjYz5BYR
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRvv8S4a39R
抬頭望天，天陰雨冷，冷入心脾。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSZcsRF6Rj7
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP4IulEMCiw
回家吧。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzeIS5jbAdO
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFGRBT4uVSp
開門。門後空洞空虛空蕩蕩。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaeRM9OUhJC
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh4WuWzkKUl
「戚戚慘慘悽悽，清清冷冷，覓覓尋尋。」興之所至，我一邊脫鞋，一邊倒背《聲聲慢》首三句。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL4OQKjimy2
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr07ycyBo3c
「尋他千百度，驀然回首，那人卻在燈火闌珊處。」沒有脫襪，懶洋洋得撲到梳化上，順口接上《青玉案．元夕》末句。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsDjifVTx2H
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvfQqvcy5lW
枕臂望窗，映入眼簾的是極端的光與暗、黑與白——廳燈沒有亮起，窗外日光耀眼得刺痛，室內與室外亮度差異極大。驀地憶起日光照在他臉營造出來的明暗，憶起他的臉容氣質，憶起那抹笑容。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfbvcVVEZlY
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxDVIVB4ybj
大概是一見鍾情吧。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPEGQaeAfT6
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡirY1CgO1oe
奈何我當年愚鈍懵懂，後知後覺。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMa3w7f7NAj
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEg8jzhxzbe
如果我當年及早清楚知道自己的意向，結果會否不一樣？623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBI4X84aZ3R
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5LKsVnenMO
我笑自己想多了：結果會是一樣的。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNrPq4XCZcD
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBZpHbzwUTK
我是懦弱的人，我珍愛自己，所以我不會為他人冒險。我寧願花上一輩子去幻想錯過了的美好愛情，亦不會勇敢踏前一步去追求愛情。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4FDKG89EGP
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Raq5F4Fp9
李浩榮說得沒錯，我不值得被愛。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlMQnEtSL8X
事隔四十年，昔日摯友躺在棺材裡，往日心上人站在我面前。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgKIEpILAEF
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKBmXrNf3UR
百感交集……623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR0ayVGVvk2
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Us1WXSAec
當年我為了許家偉與阿強鬧翻，事後亦沒敢聯絡許家偉。同時失去摯友和心上人，情感上的痛令我失眠了好幾年。那時候，還以為痛楚會一直維持下去，有如浪漫淒美感人的愛情電影情節。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6punx8Cabg
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe18VKieOs6
不過電影終究與現實不同：角色的難忘遭遇濃縮在短短一個半小時裡，情感故此顯得激烈而深刻；現實中的情感必須經過時間洗禮和加入許多愛情以外因素，例如家庭、工作、健康、個人財政等等。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfkoHD659Zu
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwAGJ4mbiHy
痛楚自然而然被淡化掉。我漸漸忘了阿強的忠肝義膽和許家偉的獨特魅力，直至今日再聚……623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE2wpx9PXkc
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKeZtvVIVTM
「認得我嗎？我是許家偉。」623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡehwNLKiRDC
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ65oEgo9lHv
「認得。你是文班的。」623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1r02AQLBqb
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwKtwnqvYeE
許家偉淺笑，笑容如昔，淡然清雅溫婉。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHEQXTdhauf
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhQ5fouAbSA
閒聊之間，發現他仍然單身。究其原因，他只道難為情。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ11S5n9mukd
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc9QDhwY7F4
「你不值得被愛。」我蔑笑。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgdVSM7To5L
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1cPElJglqZ
四十年過去，許家偉仍是當初那個許家偉。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ32y6RUyrRF
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcq5MgnMbx1
阿強沒講錯——他的內心不會強大得能夠與我共同面對一切。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjvdkcQJGUY
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF6JmHkzbwG
「我懂得珍愛自己就可以。」許家偉笑著說。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqMR9kvviCD
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNUFNl3H3g1
許家偉在認真？他真心認為這是珍愛自己的行徑？623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP9bp9HrJY0
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAtbBfv4U7x
我哭笑不得。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXv75WFlpQM
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5dXrdICPVn
無意跟他繼續對話。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh8ykoiMHDF
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqgpqTSznYZ
多寒暄幾句，我和許家偉相互道別，分道揚鑣不復見。623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9BdO3Wltx4
623Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuryeU32SrO
抬頭望天，天陰雨冷，冷入心脾。
然後按「加至主畫面」