午餐用膳後，男生們大多會將多餘時間花在學校操場，或場上打籃球，或場外觀賽。我亦不例外，在場邊與同學輕聲討論打球技巧。忘形之際，一個籃球高速自後側飛來，狠狠砸中我右耳耳背。場中男生上前向我連聲道歉，我只道不要緊。男生拾球後繼續回場較勁，沒把事情放心上。當然，我也沒所謂，小事一椿。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMQzmTs4TJq
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJU3y1YOJS9
令我在意的反倒是球場另邊有個陌生男生對我微笑。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNxbjt0oA4C
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOKedYJLvWh
匆匆一笑，半秒即逝。他轉頭跟身邊友人繼續說說笑笑。我挺肯定自己想多了——對方不是故意對著我笑，僅是他的站立姿勢及面向角度湊巧朝著我這邊來。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaMYiEdyqfO
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcjTngeMCiV
但我還是記住了那抹笑容，記住了他的臉容氣質，記住日光照在他臉營造出來的明暗。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡScYixuzp0U
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAilwJ9iNdH
為何記住？我解釋不了。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9qe5i5nvR8
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2uSQg5bSI4
好幾個月過去，夏天轉換為冬。颯颯寒風成功減少場邊女生數目，男生仍然在此閒聊逛蕩。同行朋友忽爾興起，動身到場裡打球。我笑笑婉拒，說吃飽想睡不想動。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOdyN4bZIIR
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnDdyBfvd6n
我獨坐長椅一邊，納悶之際，兩個男生前來佔坐長椅另端空位。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdGciRHFT5G
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ480FM33YwP
其中一個是他。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlXw8OeSES2
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAhAPNWKPq8
那笑那臉那明暗，歷歷在目。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ62gkBYBl3W
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3lPBIQpF4a
心頭一顫，我馬上別過臉去。數秒後，我稍為冷靜，意識到自己的失態，佯裝無異，繼續觀看球賽。不過他似乎察覺我的異樣，有意無意對我展露笑容——一個意味深長的笑容。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡamRVgmBak0
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFi5XpaMEbS
我尷尬離座回課室去。走樓梯至三樓時，他竟從後叫住我。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBSxe5AR9lZ
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXdyzwmIDD3
「你遺下銀包。」624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsoAxxssysS
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUXPNZ9kYT4
「謝謝。」624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXz1NvYAG1m
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOcRE2aAlaK
「不用客氣……」624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQVe9IK29Ww
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ00hbrPQs3I
奇怪。看他忸怩模樣，他似乎還有話要對我說。說甚麼？不是必須相識的陌生人可以如何打開話題？甚或是「為何要展開話題」？624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvErrdwgJLv
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfNIPQiU6Xd
氣氛尷尬，四目交投，卻不知如何是好。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzzSpDRBblA
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfizlvsDllW
直至提著半滿水桶和微濕地拖的校工在我倆之間經過，彼此才回過神來，甚有默契同時分別從兩個方向離開。我往上，他往下。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSuOq8UMBM5
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFaIgG2AFK0
誰料在午飯時間完結後，我們還是在五樓走廊再次碰面——原來我們都是中五生。由於班別不同、社交圈子不重疊，所以未曾正式認識。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaRaoSllTId
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGOQ13ARUgR
不要緊。現在互相自我介紹就可以。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPV4Fxvd4aj
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXDqQiyPzOs
「我是文班許家偉。」624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1es4CzE0W0
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaognenzjcf
「我是理班李浩榮。」624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVZ5Xa3Dfkp
其實我早已知道許家偉。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡihtkWN1zeG
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUMQyEusOp2
我心儀對象就是喜歡許家偉。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡThkTiPhEv7
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuzTHLgeYQx
被拒絕的心情久久不散。我開始留意許家偉這個人。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6S6qNiX8Al
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlqnwWgo1ab
拜託阿強向文班生打探有關許家偉的事。某文班生說許家偉無啥特別，亦無專長或短處，是個存在感不強的乖學生。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJbLpQbp5sQ
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuNIsE2bYuG
我不明所以——為何心儀對象看上他？624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz1JbCcGkga
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNi0ZiX6wC4
不是認為心儀對象定要接受我或是對方必須比我優勝，只是我真的找不到許家偉有何可愛之處。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2cfFF68eTx
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8K8LA5dnq4
不服氣。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfdPOZko9h2
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9BCLLZHI4m
繼續觀察他。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7z7txjFfMp
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG8YgJClk17
匆匆數月，秋去冬來，我對許家偉好奇不減。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡadVJWRC1ET
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMx4mew8tNH
某天午餐後，我和阿強發現許家偉獨坐操場長椅，於是立即齊齊上前佔據長椅另端，近距離觀察他。他似乎發現我們的奇異目光，動身離開。正感沒趣，阿強發現地上有一個銀包。查看內裡，看見許家偉的學生證。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfgXUx7TapW
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgXfW8bxNpJ
阿強建議取走內裡金錢和學生證，再將銀包交到校務處。我反對，擔心惹禍上身。阿強問我是否討厭許家偉。我無正面回應，僅是堅持物歸原主。阿強讓步，將銀包遞給我。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI6rLDunYsK
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy9gXIqjJGC
我急步追趕許家偉。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPI8ar2CgKe
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBXJopf8Pwd
不明白自己此刻行為。正如阿強所問，我不是討厭許家偉嗎？人前，我一直表達對許家偉的討厭；人後，我曾多次理性分析過自己有沒有討厭他的實質理由。沒有，尤其在我對心儀對象忘情以後。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXgzeDjmHAc
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEHtjMtXxl8
奈何留意許家偉經已成為我的習慣。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9TFcGricdJ
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqWIpFCwTGl
遠遠看見他的身影，我自然而然打起十二分精神；聽到心儀對象與好友聊天時提及許家偉，我對他的好奇大於對心儀對象的；走經中五級壁報板，會不經意試找許家偉的名字……624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUnbgKYZ2pC
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnY2GSTOkCJ
「你遺下了銀包。」624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe7tV6rL5Gy
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXa3AhqRxNp
「謝謝。」624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz82Xku0n0G
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2MlaSSBktI
「不用客氣……」624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSJEBIvZ6nc
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXbqN58pm7Y
經已物歸原主。他道謝，我虛應，然後該是沒有然後。但我們還是愣在原地。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwK5lO1rW1l
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡILGD4yAYwo
該要說甚麼？還需要說甚麼？沒有啊！但我們還是原地愣著。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrEreggIx5p
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAQgGhdbTnZ
他是否一早知道我？他是否早已察覺我在留意他？不會吧……624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6BE0Xp2QIo
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtocx1PMJRp
我望入他雙眼。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ59ybxU5u5i
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2LiW7WZT4L
不。我鐵定他不認識我。他的眼神迷惘疑惑忐忑，似乎在期待甚麼……624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNgpVfYuPiJ
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ252s2k94L9
一名校工在我和許家偉之間走過。我在視線被阻擋當刻回過神來，低頭轉身離開。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLRgAetkAz8
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgChZ1WCcJq
我回到操場側長椅。阿強仍在，問我有否教訓許家偉一頓。我苦笑罵他發神經。阿強收起笑容，認真勸我別壓抑情緒。我說理解許家偉是無辜的，不會繼續討厭他。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3mSIXsUbJ0
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiaJ5CnWZeP
上課鈴聲響起，學生魚貫回課室去。人群中，我在五樓走廊與許家偉迎個正著。他驚訝之情洋溢於表。我反倒開懷笑了，笑他遲鈍，後知後覺。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSAGisl4aUQ
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAALaTEb0BU
許家偉臉紅，禮貌地點點頭，上前自我介紹。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeKtVKYQwOm
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXn5ScvuJN7
「我是文班許家偉。」624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKjVXUVgJdr
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjyZ9I5rOOY
「我是理班李浩榮。」624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMCfk4j9mBQ
畢業多年，我跟李浩榮從未聯絡過——當我這麼講，舊生聚會上人人皆表出乎意料：「你們當年那麼要好，竟然未曾聯絡一次？」624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQVUtYjU63i
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtgVTKJVkbh
我笑笑點頭，不多解釋。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ73M8cXnLQd
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfgp3Hc780F
畢業禮當晚，他告訴我，他的心儀對象喜歡我。我問他那女生是誰，我可以當面拒絕她。他說不必，因為他已不愛他。我感到奇怪：如已釋懷，為何重提。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdbQakvfSdP
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT3rJbejQFE
李浩榮笑笑，笑說他已覺悟，明白人的真正作用。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnBBtH6LYhw
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjYjOARNg6G
聽到這莫名其妙的答案，我就知道他醉了——他喝下很多酒。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6isYhiwwqg
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwZsmwNVVQn
他說人的真正作用就是將另外兩個不相識的人串連在一起，或是把深交的兩個人分開，例如那女生無意間將我帶到他的人生當中，而我又無意間成為他和青梅竹馬鬧翻原因。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiJQlmvB4SC
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvAkicihCcN
我大概聽出話裡的話。有點難過，有點無奈，有點害怕——害怕今晚坦白心聲以後，我和李浩榮再無交集。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6zpDWXZMMz
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOb4DVQLxZi
但我沒有阻止他。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8fGmM73YUO
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEzrDDJ1nxY
他壓抑已久，情感需要釋放。這很可能是我以朋友身份給他的最後禮物。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtXAiwM0jF8
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8p9bGfNiUi
我慫恿他繼續說下去。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Xmx7cBqX6
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyW59azVAYw
他跟阿強相識於幼稚園。他倆都是頑皮孩子，經常氣得老師向父母投訴，父母夜裡就來一頓痛打。他們經常看到對方手腫腳瘀，起初會擔心對方身體，後來發現彼此不怕捱打，只怕玩得不痛快。相顧輕笑，再玩再捱打……玩著捱著，二人同甘共苦十四年，彼此之間有一種難以言喻的默契——只有阿強看出他非但未曾討厭我，反倒羨慕我的不起眼。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMR6A6TzGAj
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyS3OuUVKLz
我好奇李浩榮何解會羨慕不起眼的人。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMnNTQhtKOY
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgA29BlZl78
「不被注意、不被期望，方能活得自由稱心。」624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO2DPV9Jl82
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡryfAB7SR31
我問他是否有煩惱，可以向我傾訴，也許我能想出好辦法。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPulcg2xU9L
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjE14hvuBxZ
李浩榮報以苦笑，沒有正面回答。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCxjdURKJXQ
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEHJDRj7nlc
那夜，他喝得爛醉，我送他回家。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG0HKHSupad
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHluSdyUuao
伯母應門。是個凶神惡煞的中年婦，語調急促，不帶尾音。她接過李浩榮，留下一句道謝，利落關門。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz0oFXE3aAv
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhLa5I78odF
門關。心頭若有所失——感覺永遠不會再見到李浩榮。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgoqNYEVltZ
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp5FpZEsoEO
其實沒甚麼大不了。這是人生必經的離合過程。不會令我受到任何傷害，亦不會令我蒙受任何損失。著實沒甚麼大不了。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmQ4WF8oGjJ
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBC1qSBNOz0
但我掛念他。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX8lZsJO5iG
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPXJocZbWIx
不是偶然想起，不是遇上麻煩、需要向他求助，不是看見眼熟物件進而聯想。沒錯，是真正的掛念——我無法自欺。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoWo91Gf9hx
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtq3dPXhwyQ
想起他，我不期然會笑；想起他，我感覺窩心；想起他，我會自覺孤單可憐。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA5H2Qg2p4h
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡknsRQfuD40
我漸漸意識到這是甚麼一回事。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQKyZwPBR0i
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE4ZjMSr6ff
糟糕了！怎麼辦？怎麼辦！不知道。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdRWOzhVSyN
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZoGePQcI7R
不要說。不要聽。不要見。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgnFv21S3Vz
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbjmROPbRL3
希望時間會沖淡一切。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4loNF5DdAq
依稀記得畢業翌日在自家客廳梳化醒來的畫面。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Nq7GeCmM9
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqIIBRZxonD
首先映入眼簾的是極端的光與暗、黑與白——廳燈沒有亮起，窗外日光耀眼得刺痛，室內與室外亮度差異極大。眼睛無法於短時間內適應，煞是暈眩，有一股酸餿灼熱自胸腔冒升。想吐。沒法吐。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAD11ZBSj6j
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8LzHzqGfxr
阿媽沒有理會我，背對我在廚房煲湯。她對著湯煲說：「昨晚是他送你回來。」624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdnYEkkvyh0
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3NMBbS7jhK
我敵不過暈眩與劇烈頭痛，重新軟癱梳化上。沒回話打算，反正阿媽定會繼續說下去。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXCEcXRLcxS
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSYHDqhqQAQ
「我不明白你為何喜歡他。」624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdrgJIAHhor
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtv7fXQ860m
「我也不明白。」624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUHF1qCJIzh
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzEUwYueS9j
「那就不要繼續喜歡。」624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFWyhJT8ojt
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqRyRHD2sDi
「感覺，並非可以自由控制的。」624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0YGOVa4ALV
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVloVA4sKIo
「我亦無法自由控制我的兒子喜歡誰。」624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ms8toHKZ8
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEU9m4c9Xey
「我也無法自由選擇誰是我的母親。」624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLjTTBIPZVO
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPt8jAP4gkY
「真抱歉——未得你同意就把你生下來。」624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Y7b3FtnTE
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCeTxxgiFRH
「你該要對我感到抱歉。」624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH5XY80cxTt
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrCOMWDqWMz
我晦氣，毫不掩飾對她的討厭。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIy3wT46Ucs
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPSoKNtdLe7
阿媽沒再多話，繼續在廚房忙著。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvQGOKkiP5J
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlhKjOn0Eop
真要命。人生就是那麼多無謂紛擾。我的人生屬於我，為何旁人總愛插手？624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJbQ3GExYFU
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBHQxxGdTLp
抵著頭痛，我硬撐起身子小便去。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOEkNFgWzrc
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8N9Z04tZ3m
在抽氣扇綿延不斷的摩打聲襯托下，小便聲清脆得噁心。噁感令我清醒不少，昨晚回憶開始隱約浮現。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLApGiyRcgN
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0uTRnJ5c8o
我似乎講過一些不該出口的話。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDW1isjnF6d
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpbgO9tHupO
真的嗎？我真的把話說出口？624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnvinTYHsCc
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXNCzvAHNJF
為何這麼驚訝？阿強醉倒後，我特意喝下更多酒，不就是為了把話講出口嗎？624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR8p6UmUkqF
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRjFsbXE02e
便意盡，醉意消，騰出來的腦空間被後悔和自責分佔了。我呆上半晌才提起褲子洗手去。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1wYYRCD1k9
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwUO57olKle
為何要走到這一步？624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7e40P3KjPk
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbf0M6A5jT6
阿強早已看出我對許家偉的感情，擔心我走上「歪路」。我有點兒生氣——誰有資格定義這是否歪路。阿強自知沒能說服我，乾脆將觀察所得告訴我媽。性格暴躁的阿媽一反常態，冷靜淡然勸我切勿繼續投放感情。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnwS9qlzhWJ
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFCmvIXvw6Y
「世人表裡不一。口說開明，實質守舊。」624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPLoNHZHji2
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf52GodT81b
「是嗎？你呢？你口說放棄，心底裡在支持我吧？」624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBNHU9a4uvP
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyZvdYxIIsP
「別倔強。」624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQK2BRZcO1N
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEHKrVygwCx
「我想要知道你的真正想法！別敷衍！別蒙混！」624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzwIxWYulYZ
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡydephYSYX4
「我想你放棄。」624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdV3EhHOU6X
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvi8s7RhRhQ
「原因？」624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyv1B12Bkw6
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMlTB3mFglE
「現實終歸是現實的。你將要面對的困難並非單靠信念、希望和愛情就可以解決。」624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQLcovOOeHF
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPHeTgNAPVW
「我知道。」624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5LUlKICWlp
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7OzrwqZcTT
「何解還要繼續下去？」624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOkKWTwbTTU
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIicZ3K90Ex
「感情易放難收。」624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2RMMTybVE3
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3zS2nw8hs2
阿媽沒法回嘴——「感情」一詞明確否定了邏輯和理智，她還有何話可說，只得被動地待我回心轉意。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj6lsnXEt7V
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡORkxZGIrTy
傍晚，我約見阿強，在公園暗處與他打一架。我們手腫腳瘀，有如兒時被父母教訓一樣。看著彼此頹喪模樣，我既心痛亦生氣——我們的友誼不該淪落至此！我們該可以當一輩子兄弟手足！624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy9jPawApNg
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRDdQGJnjzu
架後，我沒有留下片言隻字，待身體稍稍恢復後首先離開回家去，懶理阿強依然躺在草地上粗喘不已。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhcfAVQOl4R
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW2DSAi5Uyq
阿媽見我身上有傷，許是大概明白那是甚麼一回事，沒有多問，亦不予關心。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrJQnnCItvU
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMQiPIC6Tjf
我不在意，一心思考如何在畢業禮當晚向許家偉表白……624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqcSEyqPdK1
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3euGOTEgN9
畢業禮，是終結也是新開始。學生們穿戴整齊，戰戰兢兢上台領受證書。莘莘學子前途未卜，能夠掌握在手的只有當下。今朝有酒今朝醉，齊齊喝酒齊齊醉。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5dVAhA3DeV
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9I1rEVpxJw
阿強取來一支烈酒，邀我對飲：「追求真愛不是那麼容易。至少要比我更能喝。」624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqncVPC934R
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3o9VrIdohr
我欣然接受。他很了解我，許是估計到我將會乘著酒意找許家偉表白去。我唯一擺脫阿強的方法就是先把他灌醉。我們都不是省油的燈，自小經常一起偷偷喝酒，十分清楚對方酒量和醉態——一旦倒下，沒有廿四小時可醒不過來。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYcKL2RCx0u
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO8Lvws8jgJ
小醉。半醉。大醉。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhaPOhh4Rfv
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFmlMIP3XVa
阿強半伏枱邊，傻笑問我：「想好如何表白了沒？」624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡke11wb0qXr
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF82Ox4mbtJ
「直接講我愛他。」624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9aeNjZ6ugZ
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqTIaHTahTn
「如果他拒絕？」624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdvJMTdsakj
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgrNKYxKa8L
「沒怎麼樣。就像我之前被女同學拒絕那樣。」624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOJKvdRwElG
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7pLnwoI50S
「如果他接受了？那怎麼辦？」624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCQoTGPw8Cs
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuDapvobtvf
「我當然是高興！」624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ58PXQx1avD
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlGNMPNRlki
「我在問，他會怎麼辦？你認為他的內心強大得能夠與你共同面對往後一切？」624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpbCrcxdfpD
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtwWmwCoW6x
阿強問了一個我沒有想及的問題。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIceXFAHYrR
事隔四十年，我和李浩榮在阿強的喪禮上再次聚頭。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsT7HaCgG9x
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIIdaUdgjx0
李浩榮說他在畢業禮後與阿強斷絕了聯絡。我為此道歉。他問我為何道歉。我重提他酒後那段說話。他反問我是否真的認為過錯在我。我答不肯定——我無心令他們鬧翻，但我確是他們鬧翻的原因。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU2nNTL7Ddy
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzSy9b5g1vp
李浩榮苦笑，笑容意味深長。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRMX8m4nzlp
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5kmGE07LuA
「阿強沒講錯。你真懦弱。」624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjJH93TscZY
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGF33pd8Pya
「活了那麼多年，經歷那麼多事情，我不得不承認自己的懦弱。」624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBG1ExA5qJb
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV0ND2HA9k3
「你仍然單身？」624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpZg7sXDFgM
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYMuFwmBBax
「是的。」624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhekvS6kHhM
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhL22g6PFpJ
「要我當媒嗎？」624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT7oyz32t58
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhfKUs443Kp
「不了。難為情。」624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnkv9t7C1Gt
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLR3Jl9VVkd
李浩榮失笑，笑我不值得被愛。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhyDpvMT3fh
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ91GXR54ipo
我陪笑，笑說我懂得珍愛自己就可以。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGGpy2raN4w
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD5nKY0Ol0M
多寒暄幾句，我和李浩榮相互道別，分道揚鑣不復見。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0j0hlpmFnH
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVsrapU6oA9
抬頭望天，天陰雨冷，冷入心脾。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6oKGAHP4f1
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpXRBIciaun
回家吧。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0JB78edoXu
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQUZPo3D1ua
開門。門後空洞空虛空蕩蕩。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAp8TitxIRU
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnqIgopunuR
「戚戚慘慘悽悽，清清冷冷，覓覓尋尋。」興之所至，我一邊脫鞋，一邊倒背《聲聲慢》首三句。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaRAsfuQoVr
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWjQc8I5VVR
「尋他千百度，驀然回首，那人卻在燈火闌珊處。」沒有脫襪，懶洋洋得撲到梳化上，順口接上《青玉案．元夕》末句。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYQNjBDCthz
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ57YfkxstE8
枕臂望窗，映入眼簾的是極端的光與暗、黑與白——廳燈沒有亮起，窗外日光耀眼得刺痛，室內與室外亮度差異極大。驀地憶起日光照在他臉營造出來的明暗，憶起他的臉容氣質，憶起那抹笑容。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ93VQlgz1qs
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6FQxzmIirw
大概是一見鍾情吧。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh7ZcZuVZxb
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHjkn12moty
奈何我當年愚鈍懵懂，後知後覺。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKJyb0JPmV2
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6DvltqEEZl
如果我當年及早清楚知道自己的意向，結果會否不一樣？624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTXehFLlvSY
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjhTGDMDqvL
我笑自己想多了：結果會是一樣的。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE00GxlNsEX
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmFPTYHxuRA
我是懦弱的人，我珍愛自己，所以我不會為他人冒險。我寧願花上一輩子去幻想錯過了的美好愛情，亦不會勇敢踏前一步去追求愛情。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAkRPEaRGGV
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO4RxRDPGg9
李浩榮說得沒錯，我不值得被愛。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQca5WAVPcX
事隔四十年，昔日摯友躺在棺材裡，往日心上人站在我面前。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAYiK46IG6X
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo24wz7tsMq
百感交集……624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm6JDcYhd8P
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgeIM1gmF3Q
當年我為了許家偉與阿強鬧翻，事後亦沒敢聯絡許家偉。同時失去摯友和心上人，情感上的痛令我失眠了好幾年。那時候，還以為痛楚會一直維持下去，有如浪漫淒美感人的愛情電影情節。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ3HHAJ2VPk
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpl6pc9SGta
不過電影終究與現實不同：角色的難忘遭遇濃縮在短短一個半小時裡，情感故此顯得激烈而深刻；現實中的情感必須經過時間洗禮和加入許多愛情以外因素，例如家庭、工作、健康、個人財政等等。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJPGbJyL9Q8
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUlqgSGfgPn
痛楚自然而然被淡化掉。我漸漸忘了阿強的忠肝義膽和許家偉的獨特魅力，直至今日再聚……624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSGxhukXxa1
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsK13Pj7ydC
「認得我嗎？我是許家偉。」624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt12lZRAAzd
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD0ao5WuCAS
「認得。你是文班的。」624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzhrRC7ofa5
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxi6DApVRpQ
許家偉淺笑，笑容如昔，淡然清雅溫婉。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7aC1cdRnzD
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8HqFg6eiNl
閒聊之間，發現他仍然單身。究其原因，他只道難為情。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4cpV5AVYaJ
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYFzXh17GBj
「你不值得被愛。」我蔑笑。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9230bnrQDJ
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3QCErKdtb5
四十年過去，許家偉仍是當初那個許家偉。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlRvWrKfLXW
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZp6ATxuzKg
阿強沒講錯——他的內心不會強大得能夠與我共同面對一切。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb27pkbcsou
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo7WsrUZk8T
「我懂得珍愛自己就可以。」許家偉笑著說。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr2SOxiDqnx
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwuYeV1bDVi
許家偉在認真？他真心認為這是珍愛自己的行徑？624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwzltKszVBE
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvk9yLLL71x
我哭笑不得。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwyxhAGrWOG
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNfmPt3jq3s
無意跟他繼續對話。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡePdlJhAykq
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxvZBJ9th6f
多寒暄幾句，我和許家偉相互道別，分道揚鑣不復見。624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7PjKlhn1wR
624Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs6eoOWHcZy
抬頭望天，天陰雨冷，冷入心脾。
然後按「加至主畫面」