午餐用膳後，男生們大多會將多餘時間花在學校操場，或場上打籃球，或場外觀賽。我亦不例外，在場邊與同學輕聲討論打球技巧。忘形之際，一個籃球高速自後側飛來，狠狠砸中我右耳耳背。場中男生上前向我連聲道歉，我只道不要緊。男生拾球後繼續回場較勁，沒把事情放心上。當然，我也沒所謂，小事一椿。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEF9ygF2BNL
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHjYUCtAGza
令我在意的反倒是球場另邊有個陌生男生對我微笑。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4qkJc9nl9D
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAT98HPujlx
匆匆一笑，半秒即逝。他轉頭跟身邊友人繼續說說笑笑。我挺肯定自己想多了——對方不是故意對著我笑，僅是他的站立姿勢及面向角度湊巧朝著我這邊來。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWKZfTTf7y0
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzemrVuAxFi
但我還是記住了那抹笑容，記住了他的臉容氣質，記住日光照在他臉營造出來的明暗。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBDZvHi3nJm
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeERP4XUPa6
為何記住？我解釋不了。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5aNwLvPTWC
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLVlypQxFeD
好幾個月過去，夏天轉換為冬。颯颯寒風成功減少場邊女生數目，男生仍然在此閒聊逛蕩。同行朋友忽爾興起，動身到場裡打球。我笑笑婉拒，說吃飽想睡不想動。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmqlgtLOAxI
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIRWrcS8bGU
我獨坐長椅一邊，納悶之際，兩個男生前來佔坐長椅另端空位。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMmvtukKhFN
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4SZuZTUkDj
其中一個是他。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd1Ks3rHMzO
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCCMeslDXSj
那笑那臉那明暗，歷歷在目。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvVk1XvABgU
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqmhpUIW7wi
心頭一顫，我馬上別過臉去。數秒後，我稍為冷靜，意識到自己的失態，佯裝無異，繼續觀看球賽。不過他似乎察覺我的異樣，有意無意對我展露笑容——一個意味深長的笑容。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ81b1zf2Awm
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu7A3N2occS
我尷尬離座回課室去。走樓梯至三樓時，他竟從後叫住我。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWvb6ohzAdD
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ78cu3lOhCj
「你遺下銀包。」484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2aOiXothpH
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf1cb2bRuqo
「謝謝。」484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1EuYtq7Stq
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0WCMb3g6rx
「不用客氣……」484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA2sGcKOgbD
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfFf43Q12MB
奇怪。看他忸怩模樣，他似乎還有話要對我說。說甚麼？不是必須相識的陌生人可以如何打開話題？甚或是「為何要展開話題」？484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK4I4kpDUuY
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtkInTTWuzL
氣氛尷尬，四目交投，卻不知如何是好。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE2ysKyKxSv
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBQJalA2f66
直至提著半滿水桶和微濕地拖的校工在我倆之間經過，彼此才回過神來，甚有默契同時分別從兩個方向離開。我往上，他往下。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGGH8hMrIOu
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQEGK8iqQhp
誰料在午飯時間完結後，我們還是在五樓走廊再次碰面——原來我們都是中五生。由於班別不同、社交圈子不重疊，所以未曾正式認識。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡucb3NwAmD0
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWtTymbfYzP
不要緊。現在互相自我介紹就可以。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoGPoG8NmMM
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd3C3W48bUm
「我是文班許家偉。」484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNapsOQ1xey
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP4X5Bh9x9E
「我是理班李浩榮。」484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHCQquYN4XA
其實我早已知道許家偉。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWEUR1WRhdl
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo5ckpfTvon
我心儀對象就是喜歡許家偉。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUNIx1nG2BD
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEHoUj7lZGL
被拒絕的心情久久不散。我開始留意許家偉這個人。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Gtv9OC9ci
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQi14IAH3H9
拜託阿強向文班生打探有關許家偉的事。某文班生說許家偉無啥特別，亦無專長或短處，是個存在感不強的乖學生。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM2jLDu0uI7
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKsTeb9wpw9
我不明所以——為何心儀對象看上他？484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFNiGnoZyBX
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVwVyr4mnu4
不是認為心儀對象定要接受我或是對方必須比我優勝，只是我真的找不到許家偉有何可愛之處。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk491XTEDP5
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Pu8FSIBla
不服氣。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHJV3k2Z67f
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgujkGqNT3Q
繼續觀察他。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMEZwNyWN0N
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0SAGTHeEu8
匆匆數月，秋去冬來，我對許家偉好奇不減。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeWKhcHXgmY
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuK5oLGvTuO
某天午餐後，我和阿強發現許家偉獨坐操場長椅，於是立即齊齊上前佔據長椅另端，近距離觀察他。他似乎發現我們的奇異目光，動身離開。正感沒趣，阿強發現地上有一個銀包。查看內裡，看見許家偉的學生證。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9xgjIZMv89
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxcQcuCp0PL
阿強建議取走內裡金錢和學生證，再將銀包交到校務處。我反對，擔心惹禍上身。阿強問我是否討厭許家偉。我無正面回應，僅是堅持物歸原主。阿強讓步，將銀包遞給我。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMlmA5yPcxs
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtM1U8IS2A4
我急步追趕許家偉。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxr1D4wq1HU
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSUp7TNHbwc
不明白自己此刻行為。正如阿強所問，我不是討厭許家偉嗎？人前，我一直表達對許家偉的討厭；人後，我曾多次理性分析過自己有沒有討厭他的實質理由。沒有，尤其在我對心儀對象忘情以後。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7eZxPuXCch
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoXEe0FwiBX
奈何留意許家偉經已成為我的習慣。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL55r57u1tM
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjXDGHrnDvG
遠遠看見他的身影，我自然而然打起十二分精神；聽到心儀對象與好友聊天時提及許家偉，我對他的好奇大於對心儀對象的；走經中五級壁報板，會不經意試找許家偉的名字……484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt1hSDho8h8
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8vyf4dX9UN
「你遺下了銀包。」484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyK4ZT69Lwp
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ55cRlUOa6g
「謝謝。」484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz6sua8aOH1
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0fW97aPOhD
「不用客氣……」484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6A3AIwBDKw
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ40gbfAyVoB
經已物歸原主。他道謝，我虛應，然後該是沒有然後。但我們還是愣在原地。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwuj3xJMDXO
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmJgpVAXRq9
該要說甚麼？還需要說甚麼？沒有啊！但我們還是原地愣著。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbgTESDDnjh
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaNJbPCeFnI
他是否一早知道我？他是否早已察覺我在留意他？不會吧……484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGNCj1slHH4
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpu3d1uiHqu
我望入他雙眼。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwORYbIK7Wk
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGpTorn2u1n
不。我鐵定他不認識我。他的眼神迷惘疑惑忐忑，似乎在期待甚麼……484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPeZaRCODFW
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKj2ITAOJFr
一名校工在我和許家偉之間走過。我在視線被阻擋當刻回過神來，低頭轉身離開。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVcY3Cayg0f
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbvg6Svr4p2
我回到操場側長椅。阿強仍在，問我有否教訓許家偉一頓。我苦笑罵他發神經。阿強收起笑容，認真勸我別壓抑情緒。我說理解許家偉是無辜的，不會繼續討厭他。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgLJAOk3AUH
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRQns5IQIwn
上課鈴聲響起，學生魚貫回課室去。人群中，我在五樓走廊與許家偉迎個正著。他驚訝之情洋溢於表。我反倒開懷笑了，笑他遲鈍，後知後覺。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsB0gdut2Xx
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh0SwYIDnCK
許家偉臉紅，禮貌地點點頭，上前自我介紹。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJPsHnD0AgI
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUJ4gZoCvMN
「我是文班許家偉。」484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvoNpgal3MM
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRWGXu1oHRI
「我是理班李浩榮。」484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzXw6ZyPKF3
畢業多年，我跟李浩榮從未聯絡過——當我這麼講，舊生聚會上人人皆表出乎意料：「你們當年那麼要好，竟然未曾聯絡一次？」484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJRjp2aeFrg
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJEEeegfaOg
我笑笑點頭，不多解釋。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuBtEAXGCoP
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlTYOugeQdz
畢業禮當晚，他告訴我，他的心儀對象喜歡我。我問他那女生是誰，我可以當面拒絕她。他說不必，因為他已不愛他。我感到奇怪：如已釋懷，為何重提。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlSxIt7Mw3M
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzjnxCIiVWY
李浩榮笑笑，笑說他已覺悟，明白人的真正作用。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFJ62mdqlmO
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoNIilnpGeO
聽到這莫名其妙的答案，我就知道他醉了——他喝下很多酒。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLPdiXqsuWm
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbLdYGk1Mlo
他說人的真正作用就是將另外兩個不相識的人串連在一起，或是把深交的兩個人分開，例如那女生無意間將我帶到他的人生當中，而我又無意間成為他和青梅竹馬鬧翻原因。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6iEk7cpe1k
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgHJFm3FiFC
我大概聽出話裡的話。有點難過，有點無奈，有點害怕——害怕今晚坦白心聲以後，我和李浩榮再無交集。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzQsAlDoSJ4
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3mDOy8S2bx
但我沒有阻止他。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM3SCd2njpQ
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq6qfDGgspD
他壓抑已久，情感需要釋放。這很可能是我以朋友身份給他的最後禮物。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDd2GbN3Iay
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡisgYl0jcol
我慫恿他繼續說下去。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡADGK0qP64o
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTMoGaLxouo
他跟阿強相識於幼稚園。他倆都是頑皮孩子，經常氣得老師向父母投訴，父母夜裡就來一頓痛打。他們經常看到對方手腫腳瘀，起初會擔心對方身體，後來發現彼此不怕捱打，只怕玩得不痛快。相顧輕笑，再玩再捱打……玩著捱著，二人同甘共苦十四年，彼此之間有一種難以言喻的默契——只有阿強看出他非但未曾討厭我，反倒羨慕我的不起眼。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8KTTyKjZXK
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8p0SM7lprf
我好奇李浩榮何解會羨慕不起眼的人。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGht2rSbFWG
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxzwfIa2Ihp
「不被注意、不被期望，方能活得自由稱心。」484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuhwUIxtHYK
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgbK0YbQVTs
我問他是否有煩惱，可以向我傾訴，也許我能想出好辦法。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ512bpI0Xuw
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOVjovRPhYI
李浩榮報以苦笑，沒有正面回答。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbKXlIMByUi
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfdmnYypiEb
那夜，他喝得爛醉，我送他回家。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrdOY4BPbfT
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEJe8lHkDJZ
伯母應門。是個凶神惡煞的中年婦，語調急促，不帶尾音。她接過李浩榮，留下一句道謝，利落關門。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJFqES7nCah
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1I8wqUyGXi
門關。心頭若有所失——感覺永遠不會再見到李浩榮。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsTURDDNkyJ
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhD0CxHbB4K
其實沒甚麼大不了。這是人生必經的離合過程。不會令我受到任何傷害，亦不會令我蒙受任何損失。著實沒甚麼大不了。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF0IgfN1bOL
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuTBvkg5V6B
但我掛念他。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFR8OIaWoM1
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEMfJJSxNvC
不是偶然想起，不是遇上麻煩、需要向他求助，不是看見眼熟物件進而聯想。沒錯，是真正的掛念——我無法自欺。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf1heG73cbr
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVjMW12gqSJ
想起他，我不期然會笑；想起他，我感覺窩心；想起他，我會自覺孤單可憐。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY7SkGJ0ksW
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0QEfFoT1mg
我漸漸意識到這是甚麼一回事。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZWHUKtMyT5
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvQkNgsNlb2
糟糕了！怎麼辦？怎麼辦！不知道。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEZXjLSoij3
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVCgupwlEVW
不要說。不要聽。不要見。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2JseSmldzG
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb8z0H8hslg
希望時間會沖淡一切。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuzGu9NeT9N
依稀記得畢業翌日在自家客廳梳化醒來的畫面。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPHS4baeSx4
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqDnbeQb8h7
首先映入眼簾的是極端的光與暗、黑與白——廳燈沒有亮起，窗外日光耀眼得刺痛，室內與室外亮度差異極大。眼睛無法於短時間內適應，煞是暈眩，有一股酸餿灼熱自胸腔冒升。想吐。沒法吐。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8yCDiIBwPS
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIx5SuDueMC
阿媽沒有理會我，背對我在廚房煲湯。她對著湯煲說：「昨晚是他送你回來。」484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM1fkkv7dXD
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVaGhaQEX0H
我敵不過暈眩與劇烈頭痛，重新軟癱梳化上。沒回話打算，反正阿媽定會繼續說下去。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7yGWBdaBoj
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9DvY70Z9Ff
「我不明白你為何喜歡他。」484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1KLAuTlBok
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg7bIpLkRVT
「我也不明白。」484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlAaxolU1JZ
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkymPweCgR5
「那就不要繼續喜歡。」484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOlimcBfwlL
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGB92xRkrDs
「感覺，並非可以自由控制的。」484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6WYVZucCsQ
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWUg4WVMnRt
「我亦無法自由控制我的兒子喜歡誰。」484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUQSlXCayov
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOiIoApuMKQ
「我也無法自由選擇誰是我的母親。」484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQp2fLsu3dt
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuGobh4q6mu
「真抱歉——未得你同意就把你生下來。」484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsFTjsSB1wq
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ24Cmshut0Y
「你該要對我感到抱歉。」484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnsgGUQVaUa
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLtzmhJumNq
我晦氣，毫不掩飾對她的討厭。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsuwDKca2vr
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc3Dlpqra11
阿媽沒再多話，繼續在廚房忙著。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTQHrNgiGqU
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRMer1YjJHt
真要命。人生就是那麼多無謂紛擾。我的人生屬於我，為何旁人總愛插手？484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqDOkD9m7l8
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwR7ZG5PECg
抵著頭痛，我硬撐起身子小便去。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIzuP104orQ
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcq7t4fqG4A
在抽氣扇綿延不斷的摩打聲襯托下，小便聲清脆得噁心。噁感令我清醒不少，昨晚回憶開始隱約浮現。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0iZmf2BWYq
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYsfnHw3xFA
我似乎講過一些不該出口的話。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsYERHeujfr
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7tYtuUGl66
真的嗎？我真的把話說出口？484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX7jnA6NO5e
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOUnx2QKnMA
為何這麼驚訝？阿強醉倒後，我特意喝下更多酒，不就是為了把話講出口嗎？484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtMTdqcVc1K
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG1HfQhlM7u
便意盡，醉意消，騰出來的腦空間被後悔和自責分佔了。我呆上半晌才提起褲子洗手去。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoC1mhjmQZD
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzR1S6unyk8
為何要走到這一步？484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEwxAqgzAf9
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrTNDJwfF2S
阿強早已看出我對許家偉的感情，擔心我走上「歪路」。我有點兒生氣——誰有資格定義這是否歪路。阿強自知沒能說服我，乾脆將觀察所得告訴我媽。性格暴躁的阿媽一反常態，冷靜淡然勸我切勿繼續投放感情。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsHMlIF9OSr
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDBqdYVCuEr
「世人表裡不一。口說開明，實質守舊。」484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5BYtq3nxWg
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjwbhKnTcdS
「是嗎？你呢？你口說放棄，心底裡在支持我吧？」484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoa5WpJYlCL
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1MztyW6JG9
「別倔強。」484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgJ905NquTj
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVfSfsASjIH
「我想要知道你的真正想法！別敷衍！別蒙混！」484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXI2z20k3PI
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡItP90TVFvx
「我想你放棄。」484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH4a703zCw9
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfttchyKmom
「原因？」484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGvOdxzjnIs
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrtLeWxrwKG
「現實終歸是現實的。你將要面對的困難並非單靠信念、希望和愛情就可以解決。」484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh0mmQB845L
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHJIGwzB7sz
「我知道。」484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMXqvKHqwuu
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCAnG509xD7
「何解還要繼續下去？」484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCOPKnvs2jV
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFQu5oaMYEX
「感情易放難收。」484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpbF2Jmuzig
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwtRYTxdjmf
阿媽沒法回嘴——「感情」一詞明確否定了邏輯和理智，她還有何話可說，只得被動地待我回心轉意。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX6Wypmrpx1
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoXAne9jCGR
傍晚，我約見阿強，在公園暗處與他打一架。我們手腫腳瘀，有如兒時被父母教訓一樣。看著彼此頹喪模樣，我既心痛亦生氣——我們的友誼不該淪落至此！我們該可以當一輩子兄弟手足！484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlJn9ObJ7Ij
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmGXvFBMtvh
架後，我沒有留下片言隻字，待身體稍稍恢復後首先離開回家去，懶理阿強依然躺在草地上粗喘不已。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQsCLpmMltN
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWB0nPCACt5
阿媽見我身上有傷，許是大概明白那是甚麼一回事，沒有多問，亦不予關心。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxapuS7rEq3
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡicf7auFwIX
我不在意，一心思考如何在畢業禮當晚向許家偉表白……484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡytEfClP8mI
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDe1PbOlIgU
畢業禮，是終結也是新開始。學生們穿戴整齊，戰戰兢兢上台領受證書。莘莘學子前途未卜，能夠掌握在手的只有當下。今朝有酒今朝醉，齊齊喝酒齊齊醉。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEi92Q7kzA3
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq9URw4Y5DV
阿強取來一支烈酒，邀我對飲：「追求真愛不是那麼容易。至少要比我更能喝。」484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMbIggF9Zvy
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzu2m0TLh70
我欣然接受。他很了解我，許是估計到我將會乘著酒意找許家偉表白去。我唯一擺脫阿強的方法就是先把他灌醉。我們都不是省油的燈，自小經常一起偷偷喝酒，十分清楚對方酒量和醉態——一旦倒下，沒有廿四小時可醒不過來。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaE6jrEWGFW
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT8RTnIXc2B
小醉。半醉。大醉。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡehVspSJXyP
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEZDhfEE2U5
阿強半伏枱邊，傻笑問我：「想好如何表白了沒？」484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl6argvzzgy
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjMwSt5H0U0
「直接講我愛他。」484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡed22HEcWBi
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLyzmCSUwNq
「如果他拒絕？」484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSqhy2WKoek
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa4DH2lNACx
「沒怎麼樣。就像我之前被女同學拒絕那樣。」484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCwFxp2bZ23
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqKzFuB3dhR
「如果他接受了？那怎麼辦？」484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKUmwqIuYfd
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtIHq6VOByo
「我當然是高興！」484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9dyUQArXmk
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkZZQBSg0Yz
「我在問，他會怎麼辦？你認為他的內心強大得能夠與你共同面對往後一切？」484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPwF17enVF1
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWaqmd0Ywk5
阿強問了一個我沒有想及的問題。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqKDRjXbdsc
事隔四十年，我和李浩榮在阿強的喪禮上再次聚頭。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMg3wmRm2z1
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ06JdKOdIjB
李浩榮說他在畢業禮後與阿強斷絕了聯絡。我為此道歉。他問我為何道歉。我重提他酒後那段說話。他反問我是否真的認為過錯在我。我答不肯定——我無心令他們鬧翻，但我確是他們鬧翻的原因。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3GXgZQ3TcK
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqjx66IPYxE
李浩榮苦笑，笑容意味深長。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ggCKFmNZB
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAi38eE0Xqu
「阿強沒講錯。你真懦弱。」484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa9A8GK8abm
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi6Tfb9QLmC
「活了那麼多年，經歷那麼多事情，我不得不承認自己的懦弱。」484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoOjYErX3Fv
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZjw6hrIYmq
「你仍然單身？」484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp7IrdDTJFS
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdE0HvZwPmM
「是的。」484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbdLFojzsL9
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqkdYYR47zo
「要我當媒嗎？」484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEfxr45rllL
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKystmISC0H
「不了。難為情。」484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzvkx9E4Txz
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ44gYSwwCiE
李浩榮失笑，笑我不值得被愛。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFKPF2EkraX
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuRUQBXnlQS
我陪笑，笑說我懂得珍愛自己就可以。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOnpX4KOh0k
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4NNS5QLEEx
多寒暄幾句，我和李浩榮相互道別，分道揚鑣不復見。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpM7BVfleaM
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHYgCaWKuKN
抬頭望天，天陰雨冷，冷入心脾。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiUJGQFaPfA
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡphqkAfzbFu
回家吧。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWeDCsf5nHX
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM1yES7QiZc
開門。門後空洞空虛空蕩蕩。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡarZPsbP1FR
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZWLyoR6R5E
「戚戚慘慘悽悽，清清冷冷，覓覓尋尋。」興之所至，我一邊脫鞋，一邊倒背《聲聲慢》首三句。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVaY2DQU9vG
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEiWjkBAt9b
「尋他千百度，驀然回首，那人卻在燈火闌珊處。」沒有脫襪，懶洋洋得撲到梳化上，順口接上《青玉案．元夕》末句。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWx5nePldec
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ47m6sxqP3u
枕臂望窗，映入眼簾的是極端的光與暗、黑與白——廳燈沒有亮起，窗外日光耀眼得刺痛，室內與室外亮度差異極大。驀地憶起日光照在他臉營造出來的明暗，憶起他的臉容氣質，憶起那抹笑容。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjKRxgReh13
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvtbKoO5PC7
大概是一見鍾情吧。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJjnXHW5240
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡixOvULHyJd
奈何我當年愚鈍懵懂，後知後覺。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGQEwlKm9Lz
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZTp7rHHgWr
如果我當年及早清楚知道自己的意向，結果會否不一樣？484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMyfbxw8Dx2
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuOCjBg9p7m
我笑自己想多了：結果會是一樣的。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEXjI1opnCF
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjfQWYaoU46
我是懦弱的人，我珍愛自己，所以我不會為他人冒險。我寧願花上一輩子去幻想錯過了的美好愛情，亦不會勇敢踏前一步去追求愛情。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKuIDxTlTS4
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0lj5NMADWO
李浩榮說得沒錯，我不值得被愛。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkb10kd0GfX
事隔四十年，昔日摯友躺在棺材裡，往日心上人站在我面前。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzBxqwM5tzz
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqV3swc6jFw
百感交集……484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkZ2ZPXQijK
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRKiLrcT90m
當年我為了許家偉與阿強鬧翻，事後亦沒敢聯絡許家偉。同時失去摯友和心上人，情感上的痛令我失眠了好幾年。那時候，還以為痛楚會一直維持下去，有如浪漫淒美感人的愛情電影情節。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ67iPWpN6vP
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfeVH7tbFtj
不過電影終究與現實不同：角色的難忘遭遇濃縮在短短一個半小時裡，情感故此顯得激烈而深刻；現實中的情感必須經過時間洗禮和加入許多愛情以外因素，例如家庭、工作、健康、個人財政等等。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp1JLlvWvHO
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0SxuqlSmS0
痛楚自然而然被淡化掉。我漸漸忘了阿強的忠肝義膽和許家偉的獨特魅力，直至今日再聚……484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaN0VbgYB3K
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW0cLg94THn
「認得我嗎？我是許家偉。」484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJzkO7SBhiz
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSNPwgUB1lG
「認得。你是文班的。」484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOH0XgyauJ9
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTONasyJMOO
許家偉淺笑，笑容如昔，淡然清雅溫婉。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe5UI7KWv1J
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡErEbp0Rg1I
閒聊之間，發現他仍然單身。究其原因，他只道難為情。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAfNaqhfKrE
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKTMB35wYIT
「你不值得被愛。」我蔑笑。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0MKUuzm9aJ
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ21AOcfVuhO
四十年過去，許家偉仍是當初那個許家偉。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMfXbcfoM8u
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEw4xYxRRrb
阿強沒講錯——他的內心不會強大得能夠與我共同面對一切。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv0iexTzGZN
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9XOVonihcl
「我懂得珍愛自己就可以。」許家偉笑著說。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZDe5sR8Ez9
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvud75MeWXk
許家偉在認真？他真心認為這是珍愛自己的行徑？484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiK5H7CDmjZ
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoZW6mB5R7d
我哭笑不得。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxjGv10KqbS
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFMjmGkZ4HN
無意跟他繼續對話。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Esye8usp4
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtJMeIenlsE
多寒暄幾句，我和許家偉相互道別，分道揚鑣不復見。484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLsen9asSsG
484Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡizTzpxk9I9
抬頭望天，天陰雨冷，冷入心脾。
然後按「加至主畫面」