我在書枱前呆了大半日。熱茶已涼，但我未嚐半口，心思都在眼前電腦屏幕上——剛輸入的文字不停被刪。字越少，心越亂，人越躁。464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF7IONFhzTB
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAjScEayZ7J
不了。受不了。我離座往廚房換茶去。464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjXO9buokA9
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkXWhOlgOGl
廳中老妻瞄我半眼，大概知道發生甚麼事，沒有作聲，繼續看電視。我對她的不表態不勝感激——她以最聰明的方法維護我的尊嚴。464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtKWSTkb23m
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Uofrpgfoo
滾水撞上茶葉，水仙香氣隨著冉升白煙溢散開去。464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡww0TSXXXAc
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQoFnBZFO1A
壓力似乎一併消散。464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqm7EAMJbzq
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFBZv2leEEo
茶盡。我再續杯。464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡay5i7OUjMm
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtHykkU4O4c
添茶不是長遠之計——屏幕白頁上始終沒有片言隻字。464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRmxeUDRs9V
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnyKU5BdMLy
嘆一口氣，慨嘆自己太天真可愛。怎麼會相信自己有寫作天分，而且一信就是幾十年。幾十年來，不停寫，不停發表，不停被無視。我只得不停安慰自己說旁人不識貨。464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡke1XfAFEtb
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKmBG95jMrB
口不對心。心裡其實清楚自己料子如何。但我還是堅持寫下去。464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwSuETDc0cN
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsXYQEPPRJf
是習慣、面子、尊嚴緣故，更是不想承認自己做了一個長達幾十年的白日夢。464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSQe0o4kfwn
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkNgOfkYzwn
夢醒一場空。464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTMLRbv8ajK
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe5W78G5opc
我本平庸，無甚專長，唯獨寫作能力相對身邊友儕略高丁點。丁點而已，卻足以讓我樂透幾十年。464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzVAe0gA1yv
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQZekczsgvG
工作不順利時，我會告訴自己——我的專長不在工作上，所以被罵亦是無可厚非；人際關係不如意時，我會告訴自己——如果世人只能用文字溝通，我該是表達能力最好的人；走倒運時，我會告訴自己——我正在為快要誕生的偉大作品累積靈感……464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7wtfdiKqHY
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡby8Nur7QVQ
一切都是有意義的。如果我真有寫作天分的話。464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdgcOJx0pyX
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ84ZsYq1J9m
捧著熱茶回到座位。身在心在能力不在。464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV4xXwWc4zw
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5PmN7BDVn9
在刺眼的屏幕白頁前，我又嘆一口氣。464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwWweNi6HoH
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrgj9BuS7Us
我不曾長大，仍是幾十年前那個我，沉浸在中文老師讚賞的我。同學們紛表羨慕我的寫作天份，請教我如何想出精彩故事、練出動人文筆。464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ76AaJoAc9c
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTIgECSRP2M
我沾沾自喜。464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4GkcVDumjt
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwsMq2RWDH4
細心回想，我當時已覺竅門不在天分，而是努力。努力鑽研文字的運用，努力細味名著佳作當中的韻味，努力思考故事情節起伏，努力觀察分析人世百態……名副其實的將勤補拙。464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyUoNCmFXwQ
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1f9hLqcLMR
但我沒有向同學們坦白。464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZnLb3pvCRu
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLUs2dT7EAF
因為我喜歡被讚賞的感覺。464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxmfNpGkCBU
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Le6c5Hmac
努力，努力，努力。464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAKqJfnyR4U
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpGi0au9S14
我的寫作技巧與日俱增，亦在多個學屆寫作比賽中獲獎。464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqJfSgN921X
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ44PStRfsIe
我以為自己將來鐵定能夠成為作家。464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtkp18IENAJ
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtzaLHRTj3Y
以為。464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQYf8PTlRk0
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡohgVzdAVaN
告別校園後，我成為一個普通文職。普通收入，普通打扮，普通生活。464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC3h1XDPVmX
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKZD9d91nAk
普通得輕易被取代。普通得難以承受。464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWWqbBMO241
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvFLAlsXu1M
我不得不告訴自己我是多麼的有寫作天份！我是多麼的獨特！464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG28q27iJwy
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡprnzcnLVby
某夜下班回家，我泡了一壺水仙，乘著茶香全情投入寫作世界。沒有外物打擾，我的世界只有我。一切如願。那麼順心，那麼安寧，那麼快樂。464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvpwtaA72gs
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdqmBmmQcag
我的作品感動了我。464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGVuxVU5f9v
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcLMBsFtfVU
我希望藉此找到更多懂我的人。464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn0Hi8Hp20E
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoswjqZAjIC
幾十年來，不停寫，不停發表，不停被無視。我的世界與真實世界不斷相互碰撞。面對無止境的打擊，我不曾問自己為何堅持。因為一旦心生此等疑問，變相在內心種下「自我質疑」的根苗，一發不可收拾。464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5U5HdWDXj4
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0rfGuAPJmm
無法接受自己幾十年堅持建基於一個沒可能實現的夢想。464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdigH0JlG9T
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9rVUCHQOI5
無法承受自己生來就是如此普通、平凡、平庸……464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9YoopmYvtS
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkoOHVYBB83
熱茶又涼了。464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWhd4iVqs8Q
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNaHNVTHs45
屏幕白頁上始終沒有片言隻字。464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDY6KuX5L0l
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaUNtDjWfUu
老妻繼續以不表態維護我的尊嚴。464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNzJvfRGURs
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhcjeQpISLV
我的作品只感動了我。464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh0JIIIyrSk
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLbYa94PCoq
因為我的感受只有我讀得懂。464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6XWjGnWHcq
然後按「加至主畫面」