我在書枱前呆了大半日。熱茶已涼,但我未嚐半口,心思都在眼前電腦屏幕上——剛輸入的文字不停被刪。字越少,心越亂,人越躁。264Please respect copyright.PENANAxb7tf7undW
264Please respect copyright.PENANARgGdLtTWqt
不了。受不了。我離座往廚房換茶去。264Please respect copyright.PENANAKiPYBLFpJt
264Please respect copyright.PENANAyaLp943hpF
廳中老妻瞄我半眼,大概知道發生甚麼事,沒有作聲,繼續看電視。我對她的不表態不勝感激——她以最聰明的方法維護我的尊嚴。264Please respect copyright.PENANAiJXpXnZacN
264Please respect copyright.PENANAbrnKtkNwKI
滾水撞上茶葉,水仙香氣隨著冉升白煙溢散開去。264Please respect copyright.PENANAFdiRfMfjaI
264Please respect copyright.PENANAmQ2wbjEmrN
壓力似乎一併消散。264Please respect copyright.PENANAE3zS4Cp4n1
264Please respect copyright.PENANA36X5sVDxpp
茶盡。我再續杯。264Please respect copyright.PENANA0pFi4MnXC9
264Please respect copyright.PENANAYDBmJfQ0LY
添茶不是長遠之計——屏幕白頁上始終沒有片言隻字。264Please respect copyright.PENANANEXioaPhs9
264Please respect copyright.PENANAT5bdfsOsKd
嘆一口氣,慨嘆自己太天真可愛。怎麼會相信自己有寫作天分,而且一信就是幾十年。幾十年來,不停寫,不停發表,不停被無視。我只得不停安慰自己說旁人不識貨。264Please respect copyright.PENANAhNJFXukok3
264Please respect copyright.PENANAphNV1L2CH5
口不對心。心裡其實清楚自己料子如何。但我還是堅持寫下去。264Please respect copyright.PENANAr9X6JWtsWR
264Please respect copyright.PENANAChrNrier1O
是習慣、面子、尊嚴緣故,更是不想承認自己做了一個長達幾十年的白日夢。264Please respect copyright.PENANAAZ0mxJPys7
264Please respect copyright.PENANAIZCSB8e1rN
夢醒一場空。264Please respect copyright.PENANAEvLDgyqxDC
264Please respect copyright.PENANAMzSBlRzfAb
我本平庸,無甚專長,唯獨寫作能力相對身邊友儕略高丁點。丁點而已,卻足以讓我樂透幾十年。264Please respect copyright.PENANA4viloGeC1H
264Please respect copyright.PENANASDR1cXEJBW
工作不順利時,我會告訴自己——我的專長不在工作上,所以被罵亦是無可厚非;人際關係不如意時,我會告訴自己——如果世人只能用文字溝通,我該是表達能力最好的人;走倒運時,我會告訴自己——我正在為快要誕生的偉大作品累積靈感……264Please respect copyright.PENANAquEMg4bh7j
264Please respect copyright.PENANARdsX2d0MhO
一切都是有意義的。如果我真有寫作天分的話。264Please respect copyright.PENANAr2M5rlXt9U
264Please respect copyright.PENANAr1VyRUqeAl
捧著熱茶回到座位。身在心在能力不在。264Please respect copyright.PENANAN2QcNFX863
264Please respect copyright.PENANAwbLwOecMNd
在刺眼的屏幕白頁前,我又嘆一口氣。264Please respect copyright.PENANAHTlQbEdMin
264Please respect copyright.PENANADsnqGv4l5X
我不曾長大,仍是幾十年前那個我,沉浸在中文老師讚賞的我。同學們紛表羨慕我的寫作天份,請教我如何想出精彩故事、練出動人文筆。264Please respect copyright.PENANAVoUkKZl4R3
264Please respect copyright.PENANAzJISud2krd
我沾沾自喜。264Please respect copyright.PENANAoqDFSTKmdL
264Please respect copyright.PENANA3biGpQOauB
細心回想,我當時已覺竅門不在天分,而是努力。努力鑽研文字的運用,努力細味名著佳作當中的韻味,努力思考故事情節起伏,努力觀察分析人世百態……名副其實的將勤補拙。264Please respect copyright.PENANAnIx3ZuOXxx
264Please respect copyright.PENANAxN6J7kHiJU
但我沒有向同學們坦白。264Please respect copyright.PENANAQ2GFslEQT3
264Please respect copyright.PENANAcPxxMA49qX
因為我喜歡被讚賞的感覺。264Please respect copyright.PENANA03v4xMNrlG
264Please respect copyright.PENANAin41CxSBsS
努力,努力,努力。264Please respect copyright.PENANAdKCrDGxO7Z
264Please respect copyright.PENANAKoeG3VOluy
我的寫作技巧與日俱增,亦在多個學屆寫作比賽中獲獎。264Please respect copyright.PENANAtMneQl8i2l
264Please respect copyright.PENANAuNlAZTeJ07
我以為自己將來鐵定能夠成為作家。264Please respect copyright.PENANA9Ja4KBg3UJ
264Please respect copyright.PENANA6f2o3wbvsl
以為。264Please respect copyright.PENANATOUjVYO04R
264Please respect copyright.PENANAbWTTVsqese
告別校園後,我成為一個普通文職。普通收入,普通打扮,普通生活。264Please respect copyright.PENANAvZMImFJm4A
264Please respect copyright.PENANADKBxlDNmek
普通得輕易被取代。普通得難以承受。264Please respect copyright.PENANAlUGzIs06hr
264Please respect copyright.PENANAkN3WFRC9yo
我不得不告訴自己我是多麼的有寫作天份!我是多麼的獨特!264Please respect copyright.PENANASqPgUchveq
264Please respect copyright.PENANAMlZB0br5sQ
某夜下班回家,我泡了一壺水仙,乘著茶香全情投入寫作世界。沒有外物打擾,我的世界只有我。一切如願。那麼順心,那麼安寧,那麼快樂。264Please respect copyright.PENANA7czln6EsHP
264Please respect copyright.PENANAMH8aZZaAWq
我的作品感動了我。264Please respect copyright.PENANAYHuooLJfTD
264Please respect copyright.PENANAaCmbvuNbEe
我希望藉此找到更多懂我的人。264Please respect copyright.PENANAkritophcE5
264Please respect copyright.PENANABnFNIdRHlF
幾十年來,不停寫,不停發表,不停被無視。我的世界與真實世界不斷相互碰撞。面對無止境的打擊,我不曾問自己為何堅持。因為一旦心生此等疑問,變相在內心種下「自我質疑」的根苗,一發不可收拾。264Please respect copyright.PENANAbshDTfPA4t
264Please respect copyright.PENANA46cIVT81IJ
無法接受自己幾十年堅持建基於一個沒可能實現的夢想。264Please respect copyright.PENANAtGpTUfc6ZP
264Please respect copyright.PENANAYfKKAcNFLo
無法承受自己生來就是如此普通、平凡、平庸……264Please respect copyright.PENANA6W5SZKodVs
264Please respect copyright.PENANACTXohvN6kS
熱茶又涼了。264Please respect copyright.PENANAkSqykkQiyU
264Please respect copyright.PENANAEbIRkHElW7
屏幕白頁上始終沒有片言隻字。264Please respect copyright.PENANARAG2kCBaTB
264Please respect copyright.PENANAVU0qfLzbCY
老妻繼續以不表態維護我的尊嚴。264Please respect copyright.PENANAiUD73rrbYg
264Please respect copyright.PENANAA7yVXK8AjK
我的作品只感動了我。264Please respect copyright.PENANA6FIcMfbKi9
264Please respect copyright.PENANAYSQtbUWZub
因為我的感受只有我讀得懂。264Please respect copyright.PENANAkTRWxg73KT
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雜念集
Author:
天洛卡
ISSUE #95
不成不就(生活 / 寫作)
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