
二十年前——541Please respect copyright.PENANAuU8B2Zk7If
541Please respect copyright.PENANAZ4eStXIAqJ
小荷是個人見人愛的六歲小女孩,胖胖白白的臉配上一雙水靈大眼。她每天穿著荷媽親手做的一雙由彩色布碎拼湊而成的小鞋子到處玩耍,有時會跟同村的孩子們跑上山頭採菇,有時會為獨居老人送上新鮮採摘的漂亮花朵,有時會在湖邊遊蕩。541Please respect copyright.PENANAQwQnOXJ7fU
541Please respect copyright.PENANAkHhehqVBbB
荷媽曾多次提醒她切勿走近湖邊,但小荷偏偏喜歡看蓮花,說蓮花是仙女的化身。荷媽忙著預備晚餐,不甚耐煩地反譏小荷幼稚。小荷不堪被譏諷,激動嚷著會帶蓮花仙女回家,然後頭也不回衝出家門。541Please respect copyright.PENANAUqJt9SpoCn
541Please respect copyright.PENANApdyKwGPm5P
傍晚,晚餐備好了,小荷還沒有回家。荷媽心緒不寧,深怕小荷遇上意外。她挑燈外出,急步走往湖邊。541Please respect copyright.PENANAza3dZXYYGk
541Please respect copyright.PENANAvdOmZAL939
小荷不在。541Please respect copyright.PENANAgXGAzMWwck
541Please respect copyright.PENANAjkJwRShTTm
荷媽的心頭涼了大截,連忙前去村長家求助。沒多久,大伙兒在湖邊叢林間搜索。541Please respect copyright.PENANAOegse6yCes
541Please respect copyright.PENANALiVJKol2vg
無發現。541Please respect copyright.PENANACNlewDu8O4
541Please respect copyright.PENANAQYqjpWRRaS
村長打算重新部署搜索行動之際,有人指著湖中央的一朵蓮花大叫:「看!湖中那朵蓮花上有一隻鞋!」541Please respect copyright.PENANAbMNJXtu7S2
541Please respect copyright.PENANAiYJx7pybio
大伙兒定睛細看,卻因光線不足而未能確定那是否一隻鞋。荷媽救女心切,不理眾人勸阻跳入湖中游向那朵蓮花。游著、游著,她的身影突然消失了。541Please respect copyright.PENANAoKeX2NV0S6
541Please respect copyright.PENANAs9tZbBgwM4
為免有更多人命犧牲,村民只得待天亮才落水找荷媽。不出所料,荷媽的腳踝被水草纏住,溺斃湖底。村民認得蓮花上的鞋子確是屬於小荷,但找遍湖底亦找不到她的身影。唯有繼續在林間搜索。無果。個多月後,眾人認為找到小荷的機會渺茫,於是停止搜索。541Please respect copyright.PENANAQJeFZV5dIm
541Please respect copyright.PENANAFRNLgixxuk
村裡開始流傳蓮花仙女帶走小荷的傳聞……541Please respect copyright.PENANAvm8b2ojaym
541Please respect copyright.PENANAVxBcXiNihd
「那是在你出生前發生的事情?」阿夏一邊聽得著迷,一邊望著車窗外的油油綠草地,驚嘆著這寧靜山村背後竟有這種可怕事。541Please respect copyright.PENANAh2eTnuPRGO
541Please respect copyright.PENANArQqub57kN3
「不。當年我十歲,和小荷挺熟絡。」芙兒沒心情欣賞風景,逕自倚著椅背,微微仰首凝視車廂天花那色調偏冷的米光燈。541Please respect copyright.PENANAvCMo835z5F
541Please respect copyright.PENANActHi3raFJM
「小荷失蹤一事是你當警察的原因嗎?」阿夏與芙兒作伴數年,不難看出芙兒心事重重,尤其今趟「回鄉之旅」是離鄉別井十多年的芙兒主動提出,可見其別具意義。541Please respect copyright.PENANAlvLTHyDUO9
541Please respect copyright.PENANAmUD8bFa7Tc
「嗯……一部份吧。不能說是完全因為她,也不能說是與這事情毫無關係。」芙兒苦笑,些許後悔無故主動提及這大煞風景的陳年往事。回鄉目的不是向各位鄉親苦老宣佈自己與阿夏的婚訊和設喜宴嗎?不是要歡天喜地、眉開眼笑嗎?541Please respect copyright.PENANAj4tWvqq21x
541Please respect copyright.PENANAFEl3REdEf1
「不管如何……」阿夏是個聰明人,明明對案件內容細節有興趣,但也知道要適可宜止。他輕拍芙兒的手背,安慰道:「事情已然過去,多想無益。」541Please respect copyright.PENANAcLlJ1AdJCV
541Please respect copyright.PENANAQUKIA5zs5o
「是的。過去了。」芙兒吁一口氣,似是釋懷,奈何揪心的感覺難以單憑幾句安慰說話連根拔起。541Please respect copyright.PENANAj4yEoyqS6h
541Please respect copyright.PENANAKZ7tKpx14B
顛著、簸著,好不容易來到村口。大城市發展一日千里,隱世小村亦逃不過時間巨輪的輾壓,已然根據政府的規劃建議打造成「山村旅遊區」。生來就是城市人的阿夏未曾到過農村,覺得這地方別具風味,但在村內待了十多年的芙兒卻嗤之以鼻:不也就是電視劇裡的假農村嗎?541Please respect copyright.PENANAuDZzOdPQKu
541Please respect copyright.PENANAdYLSvKymLx
驀地,一個想法在芙兒腦海掠過。541Please respect copyright.PENANAjM5YTAjNwZ
541Please respect copyright.PENANA2zTxmcxqIY
「阿夏。」芙兒拉拉阿夏的手袖:「我們先去蓮花池那邊看看吧。」541Please respect copyright.PENANAuZeY7cYpjK
541Please respect copyright.PENANASNnQGmiWJR
不出芙兒所料,蓮花池已面目全非。池邊的泥地與草叢變成了磚路與涼亭,上了漆的鐵製圍欄整齊繞池而立,蓮花換了個品種,顏色更亮麗奪目,尺寸亦比以往的大上數倍。唯一不變的是頭頂上的烈日,仍然熾熱得惡毒。541Please respect copyright.PENANAop1s5G54IQ
541Please respect copyright.PENANA0A6wH1fUhF
芙兒逕自繞著蓮花池逆時針方向拐圈踱步。時間彷彿隨著步伐逆行,日落月出,瞬間回到二十年前那個夜晚……541Please respect copyright.PENANA4Swtk6aKr2
541Please respect copyright.PENANAcH6IQ5xS8y
「我帶芙兒外出散步散心。」晚飯後,芙爸病懨懨地對妻子說。541Please respect copyright.PENANApcpHZSY1Vm
541Please respect copyright.PENANAVOUopXORKo
「嗯。」芙媽忙於照顧病兒,分身不暇。541Please respect copyright.PENANAuowQ9u0X0Z
541Please respect copyright.PENANANqoRXcBUND
夏夜有月,月下有蟬,蟬聲擾人又煩人。路上,芙爸眉頭鎖得更深。芙兒乖乖不作聲,默默尾隨他快步走。541Please respect copyright.PENANAineN7I9ASQ
541Please respect copyright.PENANAPYoBvIs8vH
「芙兒,你愛媽媽嗎?」541Please respect copyright.PENANAWIn0klcREo
541Please respect copyright.PENANArOxfpbSh6D
「愛。」541Please respect copyright.PENANAmBLRQLYiv5
541Please respect copyright.PENANAFDH16klZfH
「你愛爸爸嗎?」541Please respect copyright.PENANAOhwHJNEQ3C
541Please respect copyright.PENANAyh23M5BTZZ
「愛。」541Please respect copyright.PENANASJl3O4d3f8
541Please respect copyright.PENANAU8Ydi0cE9d
「你愛哥哥嗎?」541Please respect copyright.PENANAMab5ZmmX8k
541Please respect copyright.PENANAYhEQb1dLqC
芙兒心裡一寒,不自已停下腳步——她早前無意間發現爸爸向前任村長秘密查詢有關人口販子的事。難道爸爸為了替哥哥籌措醫藥費而打算賣掉她?541Please respect copyright.PENANAL3DjltNxlq
541Please respect copyright.PENANAyvqE1Acdox
「你愛我嗎?」芙兒無力反問。541Please respect copyright.PENANAcYSz9bUI9h
541Please respect copyright.PENANA11nekLLYo6
芙爸沒有回答,繼續低頭開步走。541Please respect copyright.PENANA4wP1tq1yJK
541Please respect copyright.PENANA285sqthoap
芙兒想要跑回家去,雙腳卻不由自主隨著爸爸走,縱然明知那是不歸路。541Please respect copyright.PENANAmz8UaTPm3u
541Please respect copyright.PENANAOJHuDG285I
途經蓮花池,巧遇小荷。芙爸倏忽衝前打昏小荷。芙兒明白爸爸的意圖,連忙拉住他。541Please respect copyright.PENANAJjtfhzKtfp
541Please respect copyright.PENANAAXtwrMMJST
「小荷是無辜的!」541Please respect copyright.PENANAuRRx54cLdp
541Please respect copyright.PENANAPHsZA2KyoJ
「但我捨不得你啊!」541Please respect copyright.PENANAMH1FnL6vLW
541Please respect copyright.PENANAgYH95LO54q
芙兒不期然鬆開了手——她聽得出話裡的割捨與堅決。爸爸向來善良老實,日子艱難亦不會做鼠竊狗偷的勾當。奈何今次關乎兒子的生命安危和女兒的命運!他寧可割捨良知,亦要保住家人。541Please respect copyright.PENANAgC54TNttpa
541Please respect copyright.PENANATkkwbVR25R
芙兒理解了、妥協了,芙爸眼神反倒更為悲憤不安。他脫下小荷的一隻鞋,使勁拋向蓮花池。鞋子剛好不偏不倚落在池中央的一朵大蓮花上。541Please respect copyright.PENANAUhnIEa8f1a
541Please respect copyright.PENANAbA0CyrngcY
父女兩人不約而同望向那朵大蓮花。純白蓮花被夜色沾污成帶有瘀青的淡灰色,悉才看來色彩繽紛的小鞋子亦被迫融入夜色,成了一個若隱若現的小黑點。541Please respect copyright.PENANAXuN7ZmYGV2
541Please respect copyright.PENANAwag4VQC3lL
小黑點,人生裡的大污點。541Please respect copyright.PENANAiQYPjJQmnM
541Please respect copyright.PENANA74AlBw4zPk
來到約定的地方。人口販子沒有芙兒想像中的鼠頭獐目。他相貌平凡,打扮平凡,舉止平凡,有如田裡的一顆穀粒,獨一無二卻平凡普通。541Please respect copyright.PENANAow1KMbMVgx
541Please respect copyright.PENANAPLNW0vc9NI
二人無聲的奉上小荷,默默的收下金錢,不能見光的交易在無光的樹林中順利完成。541Please respect copyright.PENANA2Eaco4Tjb3
541Please respect copyright.PENANAdMOjOKoXKr
芙兒自此在這夜池邊中無限輪迴。541Please respect copyright.PENANAWrAPRkNUX9
541Please respect copyright.PENANA4MICZJv9uA
晝如夜,夜是夜。此人是小荷,那人是小荷,異裝同臉。池中有蓮,家中有蓮,路中有蓮,蓮上有鞋。541Please respect copyright.PENANAn7cGi23dWz
541Please respect copyright.PENANAxKA6sNuFhG
瘋了。芙兒的世界瘋了。541Please respect copyright.PENANAYkb7MuwUNM
541Please respect copyright.PENANAHsAEtp9NFo
需要救贖。無人能救。只得自救。541Please respect copyright.PENANAMv4hNbKHbr
541Please respect copyright.PENANAvGuo4N6Hnc
救哥哥,犧牲小荷。救自己,犧牲誰?541Please respect copyright.PENANAE1o2nzgrny
541Please respect copyright.PENANA6tVimvq9wy
「記住,賣掉小荷的人是我,不是你。」541Please respect copyright.PENANAD2PUxq0lEi
541Please respect copyright.PENANA4IogBr9i4D
「我沒有阻止你。」541Please respect copyright.PENANAMq96JFdqdf
541Please respect copyright.PENANANxW877Cngn
「阻止得了麼?」541Please respect copyright.PENANA6G4M56t5R4
541Please respect copyright.PENANAJn0HC5Fi2q
「至少,我該要嘗試。」541Please respect copyright.PENANAz7b6J9LQgM
541Please respect copyright.PENANAw8KqtTWm3E
「嘗試有用麼?」541Please respect copyright.PENANADT0qtXbBcG
541Please respect copyright.PENANAgfFVY0Z0Ry
芙兒如夢初醒——芙爸企圖獨自扛起一切責任,救贖芙兒。她不自控笑著流淚,內心得到救贖的同時又跌落另一深淵——自己得救,爸爸犧牲。541Please respect copyright.PENANAgfvc1eFW50
541Please respect copyright.PENANAmQtLpbeNlG
真的得到了救贖嗎?不肯定。541Please respect copyright.PENANAVitRIcpIBk
541Please respect copyright.PENANAoTYvGfA9zF
她離鄉到城市尋找工作,輾轉當上警察。對失蹤案尤感興趣。找人,找救贖。找到人,找不到救贖。541Please respect copyright.PENANAxxSs7uGlLG
541Please respect copyright.PENANAyMY2rBGbDr
收到來自家鄉的信,提及哥哥病逝。她丟掉信件,假裝未曾收到。根本沒意義,根本誰也沒能得救,無論犧牲多大。541Please respect copyright.PENANAFVYX1U7Js7
541Please respect copyright.PENANAsFXsg3XpUG
芙媽來了,問芙兒為何不出席哥哥的喪禮。她說不知道哥哥逝世一事。芙媽低頭掩面大笑,笑了很久,然後哭了很久。「你爸說你不會為此回來,我說你不是狠心的人。原來我們都錯了——你根本不知情。」541Please respect copyright.PENANA7xLu425ZRE
541Please respect copyright.PENANA88uE9VyvBy
有甚麼值得笑或哭?芙兒不明白。或許媽媽也不明白,純粹為笑而笑、為哭而哭,無謂卻有為。至少她的情緒得以紓緩,面容不再繃緊。541Please respect copyright.PENANAs4lY368DuB
541Please respect copyright.PENANAPhl3c2g4ML
數年後,芙媽死了。芙兒同樣沒有出席喪禮。她向上司請假數天,躲在家裡,足不出戶。不斷憶起媽媽當日又哭又笑的癲狂模樣。真羨慕。沒有隱藏,沒有秘密。541Please respect copyright.PENANAjOPXlhgRpW
541Please respect copyright.PENANALeDhs5CdNJ
假期完結後,芙兒重投工作。警局來了一個新丁,名叫阿夏,比芙兒年輕數載。他長有一張孩子臉,胖胖白白,水靈大眼,像小荷。芙兒的目光離不開阿夏,主動接近他、勾搭他。二人由相識至同睡一床,僅是三天內的事。541Please respect copyright.PENANA1pjTqBph1X
541Please respect copyright.PENANADxRGzIDI8s
阿夏不解。541Please respect copyright.PENANAcnCNM2gdqI
541Please respect copyright.PENANAqHZbdrewRz
「你不似是水性楊花的女人。」541Please respect copyright.PENANAOJtAHCkPGa
541Please respect copyright.PENANAenTYQlJbs5
「你不似是諸事八卦的男人。」541Please respect copyright.PENANANeTVV7ypgq
541Please respect copyright.PENANAinJZkn35gV
阿夏開始追求芙兒。芙兒不接受,卻偶爾與他同睡。為何不愛他卻會與他睡?是發洩,是鬱悶,或是對往事的情感投射?芙兒解釋不了,亦不想解釋——找到解釋之時,另一個問題就會隨即出現。541Please respect copyright.PENANA9RlKmYgMwX
541Please respect copyright.PENANAfOtRYuxiDn
繼續同睡,繼續被追求,繼續找人找救贖。生活不過如此,平平凡凡,無無謂謂。541Please respect copyright.PENANAqLofTzJPPd
541Please respect copyright.PENANAROKGtJXDM4
數年後的某天,芙兒收到來自兒時鄰居的一通電話。對方說芙爸病重,行將就木,希望她回鄉探望。541Please respect copyright.PENANA6vT7l2NtRW
541Please respect copyright.PENANAfSQlY6gi3e
「是他希望我回去,或是大家希望我回去探望他?」541Please respect copyright.PENANAgZCJG8xpWk
541Please respect copyright.PENANAEdIQbX9MAr
「他堅持不要通知你,但大家還是決定要告訴你。」541Please respect copyright.PENANAUteAQm0glt
541Please respect copyright.PENANApuuHYzp6n5
「我明白了。」541Please respect copyright.PENANAR7WuA69SGU
541Please respect copyright.PENANA0CtW7KPFuE
當晚,芙兒跟阿夏說要盡快回鄉宣佈婚訊、設喜宴。541Please respect copyright.PENANAk9O9zWRSwI
541Please respect copyright.PENANAgsOhYPotB4
「你跟誰結婚?」阿夏詫異。541Please respect copyright.PENANA2mKoVom9cQ
541Please respect copyright.PENANAp3Ch1fyjdE
「你。」芙兒明白阿夏的不明白。541Please respect copyright.PENANAoCz8354GWe
541Please respect copyright.PENANAdyzvJsD13h
顛著、簸著,好不容易來到村口。大城市發展一日千里,隱世小村亦逃不過時間巨輪的輾壓,已然根據政府的規劃建議打造成「山村旅遊區」。生來就是城市人的阿夏未曾到過農村,覺得這地方別具風味,但在村內待了十多年的芙兒卻嗤之以鼻:不也就是電視劇裡的假農村嗎?541Please respect copyright.PENANA6R1LWhAVpX
541Please respect copyright.PENANAm8YnX79BaD
驀地,一個想法在芙兒腦海掠過。541Please respect copyright.PENANATRYg9PPahE
541Please respect copyright.PENANAUlK56xLSsY
「阿夏。」芙兒拉拉阿夏的手袖:「我們先去蓮花池那邊看看吧。」541Please respect copyright.PENANAccXzPEbqgj
541Please respect copyright.PENANA8CdcHFlxRL
不出芙兒所料,蓮花池已面目全非。池邊的泥地與草叢變成了磚路與涼亭,上了漆的鐵製圍欄整齊繞池而立,蓮花換了個品種,顏色更亮麗奪目,尺寸亦比以往的大上數倍。唯一不變的是頭頂上的烈日,仍然熾熱得惡毒。541Please respect copyright.PENANAPL6XZEDLfd
541Please respect copyright.PENANAWyuCV0DzE9
芙兒逕自繞著蓮花池逆時針方向拐圈踱步。踱踱踱,時間有可能隨著步伐逆轉,帶她回到二十年前的那個晚上嗎?若明知結果,她還是會不阻止爸爸賣掉小荷嗎?541Please respect copyright.PENANAT4EwGSeLhF
541Please respect copyright.PENANA1Dzkr5BYoD
老家陋宅裡,趁著阿夏上廁所的空檔,芙兒湊近芙爸耳邊直接問:「若明知結果,你還是會賣掉小荷嗎?」541Please respect copyright.PENANAHMUZ8BHdUP
541Please respect copyright.PENANAcgnN8LPZRh
「會。」氣若柔絲的芙爸斬釘截鐵:「因為我是當爸的。」541Please respect copyright.PENANApxiOXX8LoO
541Please respect copyright.PENANAcdChnZmaCO
「若沒有遇上小荷,你會賣掉我嗎?」541Please respect copyright.PENANAVf3N5fYjOd
541Please respect copyright.PENANAGg6fxTb7r8
「會。因為你們兄妹倆都會活著。活著才會有希望。」541Please respect copyright.PENANAnnXaqEnUo1
541Please respect copyright.PENANAEzgPnAaCG2
芙兒大受刺激,轉身奪門而出。541Please respect copyright.PENANA84WlTFve1l
541Please respect copyright.PENANAEXDjjcl2IU
夏夜有月,月下有蟬,蟬聲擾人又煩人。路上行人疏落,卻異裝同臉,小荷的臉。路中倏忽生出白蓮朵朵,蓮上皆有小彩鞋一隻。芙兒知道自己瘋了,眼前盡是幻覺。理智脫軌,她不再恐懼,像個十歲的少女那樣跳脫輕盈,一步踏一蓮,來到池邊。541Please respect copyright.PENANAgcUnRoqngn
541Please respect copyright.PENANA5CHDzwX8zx
池邊有人,像小荷,像芙爸,像人口販子,像阿夏。她握著一隻彩色小鞋,木無表情直盯池中那朵大蓮花。芙兒走近女子,女子報以微笑,遞上手中小鞋。541Please respect copyright.PENANA7JL1YJ44T1
541Please respect copyright.PENANA6hQcrDb18u
芙兒接過它,模仿爸爸當晚的姿勢,以完美的拋物線弧度拋出小鞋。小鞋不偏不倚剛好落在池中央的蓮花上,有如二十年前的那夜。純白蓮花被夜色沾污成帶有瘀青的淡灰色,悉才看來色彩繽紛的小鞋子亦被迫融入夜色,成了一個若隱若現的小黑點。541Please respect copyright.PENANAfuU3brUXxR
541Please respect copyright.PENANA6H2GIPm8WR
女人哈哈大笑起來,笑聲豁然開朗。芙兒腳下的白蓮和小鞋驀地消失隱去,唯獨女子依然完好站在面前。笑過以後,女子轉身離開,身影沒入林間不復見。541Please respect copyright.PENANAsB3sTFezU5
541Please respect copyright.PENANAPiGO5cVcUB
芙兒惘然——她不肯定對方是幻覺或是確切存在的真人。541Please respect copyright.PENANA1veSM99bH4
541Please respect copyright.PENANAyTehejpH0U
數日後,芙爸與世長辭。541Please respect copyright.PENANAUjrSOEyagK
541Please respect copyright.PENANAiZoPILbgP6
「既然不需要沖喜,你還會跟我結婚嗎?」541Please respect copyright.PENANAIWj9il6rtD
541Please respect copyright.PENANA4rOCYNJknn
「你想跟我結婚嗎?」541Please respect copyright.PENANA3RmOWBJiPE
541Please respect copyright.PENANATrnMCSGxVL
「想。我愛你。」541Please respect copyright.PENANAhOY93ijRKD
541Please respect copyright.PENANAxrhrDEwnXR
「那就繼續吧。」541Please respect copyright.PENANAJBofh5thbi
541Please respect copyright.PENANAnDRw5J3HQt
喜慶夜,大排筵席。此人是小荷,那人是小荷,新郎是小荷,老爺是小荷,奶奶是小荷,滿堂皆是小荷。芙兒帶醉喜極而泣,感激小荷前來祝福她。541Please respect copyright.PENANAQ4t9cO8NZs
541Please respect copyright.PENANAR3ybDOpRTy
宴後,賓客散去。醉得幾近失去意識的芙兒被攙扶到新房去。滾燙的臉龐忽爾涼涼的。她知道有人為她用濕毛巾抹臉抹汗。541Please respect copyright.PENANAWuKSNpiSpt
541Please respect copyright.PENANAJ3DaPthzg9
「謝謝你……小荷……」541Please respect copyright.PENANAczks8nHg0Q
541Please respect copyright.PENANAiH30PLUFNZ
「不用客氣……」541Please respect copyright.PENANAAjSKsWypCR
541Please respect copyright.PENANA3cYybJR2jl
說著說著,阿夏哭了。晶瑩淚水沿著胖白的臉頰下滑,水靈大眼楚楚可憐。像小荷。