
二十年前——580Please respect copyright.PENANATwGrPGAWqm
580Please respect copyright.PENANARBgqR2XjLB
小荷是個人見人愛的六歲小女孩,胖胖白白的臉配上一雙水靈大眼。她每天穿著荷媽親手做的一雙由彩色布碎拼湊而成的小鞋子到處玩耍,有時會跟同村的孩子們跑上山頭採菇,有時會為獨居老人送上新鮮採摘的漂亮花朵,有時會在湖邊遊蕩。580Please respect copyright.PENANAQt8jNi8AYU
580Please respect copyright.PENANAgFUxM6AyfP
荷媽曾多次提醒她切勿走近湖邊,但小荷偏偏喜歡看蓮花,說蓮花是仙女的化身。荷媽忙著預備晚餐,不甚耐煩地反譏小荷幼稚。小荷不堪被譏諷,激動嚷著會帶蓮花仙女回家,然後頭也不回衝出家門。580Please respect copyright.PENANATMjCg15icM
580Please respect copyright.PENANAEoDVPyrktH
傍晚,晚餐備好了,小荷還沒有回家。荷媽心緒不寧,深怕小荷遇上意外。她挑燈外出,急步走往湖邊。580Please respect copyright.PENANAKHdD1vEABN
580Please respect copyright.PENANAP6fNunb3jy
小荷不在。580Please respect copyright.PENANAjY1CvQ3KzF
580Please respect copyright.PENANA8pXXKCxW2O
荷媽的心頭涼了大截,連忙前去村長家求助。沒多久,大伙兒在湖邊叢林間搜索。580Please respect copyright.PENANAMy0vUSx6b3
580Please respect copyright.PENANAECuMRuYZs0
無發現。580Please respect copyright.PENANAO2DuO33LZM
580Please respect copyright.PENANAZHO97nU1v9
村長打算重新部署搜索行動之際,有人指著湖中央的一朵蓮花大叫:「看!湖中那朵蓮花上有一隻鞋!」580Please respect copyright.PENANAt2razHFk3O
580Please respect copyright.PENANA1AIHFBt0ip
大伙兒定睛細看,卻因光線不足而未能確定那是否一隻鞋。荷媽救女心切,不理眾人勸阻跳入湖中游向那朵蓮花。游著、游著,她的身影突然消失了。580Please respect copyright.PENANApSN5eaGyls
580Please respect copyright.PENANABuK3SP9c9K
為免有更多人命犧牲,村民只得待天亮才落水找荷媽。不出所料,荷媽的腳踝被水草纏住,溺斃湖底。村民認得蓮花上的鞋子確是屬於小荷,但找遍湖底亦找不到她的身影。唯有繼續在林間搜索。無果。個多月後,眾人認為找到小荷的機會渺茫,於是停止搜索。580Please respect copyright.PENANAWVSUS6qqJi
580Please respect copyright.PENANAZOsYhUznL8
村裡開始流傳蓮花仙女帶走小荷的傳聞……580Please respect copyright.PENANAz2e22SJMBf
580Please respect copyright.PENANAmQgnRMBAuS
「那是在你出生前發生的事情?」阿夏一邊聽得著迷,一邊望著車窗外的油油綠草地,驚嘆著這寧靜山村背後竟有這種可怕事。580Please respect copyright.PENANAIQSu8ey6E6
580Please respect copyright.PENANAUvfwKd3r5T
「不。當年我十歲,和小荷挺熟絡。」芙兒沒心情欣賞風景,逕自倚著椅背,微微仰首凝視車廂天花那色調偏冷的米光燈。580Please respect copyright.PENANA1DWrO56xu7
580Please respect copyright.PENANATGMljjQ3nv
「小荷失蹤一事是你當警察的原因嗎?」阿夏與芙兒作伴數年,不難看出芙兒心事重重,尤其今趟「回鄉之旅」是離鄉別井十多年的芙兒主動提出,可見其別具意義。580Please respect copyright.PENANAcaEMJtc9iO
580Please respect copyright.PENANAzYYkc3s89r
「嗯……一部份吧。不能說是完全因為她,也不能說是與這事情毫無關係。」芙兒苦笑,些許後悔無故主動提及這大煞風景的陳年往事。回鄉目的不是向各位鄉親苦老宣佈自己與阿夏的婚訊和設喜宴嗎?不是要歡天喜地、眉開眼笑嗎?580Please respect copyright.PENANAEUfQQFasPT
580Please respect copyright.PENANAUQz5oyfkb9
「不管如何……」阿夏是個聰明人,明明對案件內容細節有興趣,但也知道要適可宜止。他輕拍芙兒的手背,安慰道:「事情已然過去,多想無益。」580Please respect copyright.PENANAZuh92B0QEM
580Please respect copyright.PENANASrMEdVNC6j
「是的。過去了。」芙兒吁一口氣,似是釋懷,奈何揪心的感覺難以單憑幾句安慰說話連根拔起。580Please respect copyright.PENANA1POOOaj6Mu
580Please respect copyright.PENANAjlVcEy13zm
顛著、簸著,好不容易來到村口。大城市發展一日千里,隱世小村亦逃不過時間巨輪的輾壓,已然根據政府的規劃建議打造成「山村旅遊區」。生來就是城市人的阿夏未曾到過農村,覺得這地方別具風味,但在村內待了十多年的芙兒卻嗤之以鼻:不也就是電視劇裡的假農村嗎?580Please respect copyright.PENANAOaZcG3hbdu
580Please respect copyright.PENANAHVyhCTz5nl
驀地,一個想法在芙兒腦海掠過。580Please respect copyright.PENANAuRX2nJVafi
580Please respect copyright.PENANA7I2AnNMV7u
「阿夏。」芙兒拉拉阿夏的手袖:「我們先去蓮花池那邊看看吧。」580Please respect copyright.PENANA4iiFx8gp34
580Please respect copyright.PENANA4NupnMbJXo
不出芙兒所料,蓮花池已面目全非。池邊的泥地與草叢變成了磚路與涼亭,上了漆的鐵製圍欄整齊繞池而立,蓮花換了個品種,顏色更亮麗奪目,尺寸亦比以往的大上數倍。唯一不變的是頭頂上的烈日,仍然熾熱得惡毒。580Please respect copyright.PENANAVxkBtPiTwZ
580Please respect copyright.PENANAjsAecgcSkz
芙兒逕自繞著蓮花池逆時針方向拐圈踱步。時間彷彿隨著步伐逆行,日落月出,瞬間回到二十年前那個夜晚……580Please respect copyright.PENANACMBsSiie1V
580Please respect copyright.PENANARQivXwZYeJ
「我帶芙兒外出散步散心。」晚飯後,芙爸病懨懨地對妻子說。580Please respect copyright.PENANAfZ4ObeMfUg
580Please respect copyright.PENANArAlPzVQe9l
「嗯。」芙媽忙於照顧病兒,分身不暇。580Please respect copyright.PENANA6u3MAzS0LP
580Please respect copyright.PENANAHFlKW5rNrc
夏夜有月,月下有蟬,蟬聲擾人又煩人。路上,芙爸眉頭鎖得更深。芙兒乖乖不作聲,默默尾隨他快步走。580Please respect copyright.PENANAOmI9aP5Pu7
580Please respect copyright.PENANAvPygmL22GZ
「芙兒,你愛媽媽嗎?」580Please respect copyright.PENANAo8fZ7tnjpf
580Please respect copyright.PENANAdeM28nWI2z
「愛。」580Please respect copyright.PENANAXFQuFYCvwK
580Please respect copyright.PENANAmFFuXhyrBW
「你愛爸爸嗎?」580Please respect copyright.PENANAgn8RKsPZVQ
580Please respect copyright.PENANAKs74YMtIbj
「愛。」580Please respect copyright.PENANAfmPWUog7RM
580Please respect copyright.PENANAGfhPnj3ABH
「你愛哥哥嗎?」580Please respect copyright.PENANAjkqJrBPj7y
580Please respect copyright.PENANAwHZ5GOBNWA
芙兒心裡一寒,不自已停下腳步——她早前無意間發現爸爸向前任村長秘密查詢有關人口販子的事。難道爸爸為了替哥哥籌措醫藥費而打算賣掉她?580Please respect copyright.PENANA3leZCEnD27
580Please respect copyright.PENANAH4a6e3YwIP
「你愛我嗎?」芙兒無力反問。580Please respect copyright.PENANAeaKx9k2kJ7
580Please respect copyright.PENANAd0Fno4fKQW
芙爸沒有回答,繼續低頭開步走。580Please respect copyright.PENANAAjoE1C42Sc
580Please respect copyright.PENANAxH0DFdmpyP
芙兒想要跑回家去,雙腳卻不由自主隨著爸爸走,縱然明知那是不歸路。580Please respect copyright.PENANADCokIg25ZN
580Please respect copyright.PENANAp7D5eCtgWm
途經蓮花池,巧遇小荷。芙爸倏忽衝前打昏小荷。芙兒明白爸爸的意圖,連忙拉住他。580Please respect copyright.PENANAmc35nQtTjl
580Please respect copyright.PENANA1oosolgQ8g
「小荷是無辜的!」580Please respect copyright.PENANAvGuz3seVyU
580Please respect copyright.PENANAk4F3bZgWAn
「但我捨不得你啊!」580Please respect copyright.PENANAtU0UTgyIn5
580Please respect copyright.PENANAKIpOy5E3RX
芙兒不期然鬆開了手——她聽得出話裡的割捨與堅決。爸爸向來善良老實,日子艱難亦不會做鼠竊狗偷的勾當。奈何今次關乎兒子的生命安危和女兒的命運!他寧可割捨良知,亦要保住家人。580Please respect copyright.PENANAEYMpgIQJHk
580Please respect copyright.PENANA64KVhwV2xP
芙兒理解了、妥協了,芙爸眼神反倒更為悲憤不安。他脫下小荷的一隻鞋,使勁拋向蓮花池。鞋子剛好不偏不倚落在池中央的一朵大蓮花上。580Please respect copyright.PENANACiEmonrN5v
580Please respect copyright.PENANAPPGw5Z8aav
父女兩人不約而同望向那朵大蓮花。純白蓮花被夜色沾污成帶有瘀青的淡灰色,悉才看來色彩繽紛的小鞋子亦被迫融入夜色,成了一個若隱若現的小黑點。580Please respect copyright.PENANAyi84BlOiS5
580Please respect copyright.PENANAOHvIjKhSYg
小黑點,人生裡的大污點。580Please respect copyright.PENANAmydFspMeM6
580Please respect copyright.PENANAZBfHpWZq8Q
來到約定的地方。人口販子沒有芙兒想像中的鼠頭獐目。他相貌平凡,打扮平凡,舉止平凡,有如田裡的一顆穀粒,獨一無二卻平凡普通。580Please respect copyright.PENANAbo0yOqG98d
580Please respect copyright.PENANA5mdznPBFQE
二人無聲的奉上小荷,默默的收下金錢,不能見光的交易在無光的樹林中順利完成。580Please respect copyright.PENANAqz1j4WpcK9
580Please respect copyright.PENANAME6HK3mKmh
芙兒自此在這夜池邊中無限輪迴。580Please respect copyright.PENANAQKfiMEJZOO
580Please respect copyright.PENANAKY8wrz55GM
晝如夜,夜是夜。此人是小荷,那人是小荷,異裝同臉。池中有蓮,家中有蓮,路中有蓮,蓮上有鞋。580Please respect copyright.PENANAU7ETgto7hw
580Please respect copyright.PENANA7wtk4rPO9D
瘋了。芙兒的世界瘋了。580Please respect copyright.PENANAMEXYaPGyh2
580Please respect copyright.PENANAiwLKHtZ8ZE
需要救贖。無人能救。只得自救。580Please respect copyright.PENANAXJQS4wsDH5
580Please respect copyright.PENANAxLR9HnF1PM
救哥哥,犧牲小荷。救自己,犧牲誰?580Please respect copyright.PENANAwqRH4jpGNP
580Please respect copyright.PENANALlvf9nCECX
「記住,賣掉小荷的人是我,不是你。」580Please respect copyright.PENANA6VOv2eR3iy
580Please respect copyright.PENANAMIZD3shoFP
「我沒有阻止你。」580Please respect copyright.PENANAOZU6eyntpK
580Please respect copyright.PENANA1Dxi8OhfSl
「阻止得了麼?」580Please respect copyright.PENANAWj40R4CIxU
580Please respect copyright.PENANAKba7R8G6yn
「至少,我該要嘗試。」580Please respect copyright.PENANAvakadmVm4h
580Please respect copyright.PENANAzOFRDcGL39
「嘗試有用麼?」580Please respect copyright.PENANAh7OVPXU25z
580Please respect copyright.PENANAU9Lk6IwgKG
芙兒如夢初醒——芙爸企圖獨自扛起一切責任,救贖芙兒。她不自控笑著流淚,內心得到救贖的同時又跌落另一深淵——自己得救,爸爸犧牲。580Please respect copyright.PENANAWI1Si10qpT
580Please respect copyright.PENANA2OCB4ux2eE
真的得到了救贖嗎?不肯定。580Please respect copyright.PENANA4K4glxb6YH
580Please respect copyright.PENANA6t1BIqcuGv
她離鄉到城市尋找工作,輾轉當上警察。對失蹤案尤感興趣。找人,找救贖。找到人,找不到救贖。580Please respect copyright.PENANAKFGUbgO0eX
580Please respect copyright.PENANAcZb3nPki68
收到來自家鄉的信,提及哥哥病逝。她丟掉信件,假裝未曾收到。根本沒意義,根本誰也沒能得救,無論犧牲多大。580Please respect copyright.PENANAvcJEC9yq7c
580Please respect copyright.PENANAckIpyz8R1s
芙媽來了,問芙兒為何不出席哥哥的喪禮。她說不知道哥哥逝世一事。芙媽低頭掩面大笑,笑了很久,然後哭了很久。「你爸說你不會為此回來,我說你不是狠心的人。原來我們都錯了——你根本不知情。」580Please respect copyright.PENANAWBVA3ecNST
580Please respect copyright.PENANAOxBlS9A92B
有甚麼值得笑或哭?芙兒不明白。或許媽媽也不明白,純粹為笑而笑、為哭而哭,無謂卻有為。至少她的情緒得以紓緩,面容不再繃緊。580Please respect copyright.PENANAMoC9FmEg28
580Please respect copyright.PENANAFbhRBfmbUS
數年後,芙媽死了。芙兒同樣沒有出席喪禮。她向上司請假數天,躲在家裡,足不出戶。不斷憶起媽媽當日又哭又笑的癲狂模樣。真羨慕。沒有隱藏,沒有秘密。580Please respect copyright.PENANAKwHs3z1sPM
580Please respect copyright.PENANAAj0zGO59tR
假期完結後,芙兒重投工作。警局來了一個新丁,名叫阿夏,比芙兒年輕數載。他長有一張孩子臉,胖胖白白,水靈大眼,像小荷。芙兒的目光離不開阿夏,主動接近他、勾搭他。二人由相識至同睡一床,僅是三天內的事。580Please respect copyright.PENANAu2ngafjA87
580Please respect copyright.PENANAchNsk5W1KI
阿夏不解。580Please respect copyright.PENANAoq9pEX5NZ5
580Please respect copyright.PENANAdCDrW37WWX
「你不似是水性楊花的女人。」580Please respect copyright.PENANAnfQPq6iuFT
580Please respect copyright.PENANAzc1cAkx38a
「你不似是諸事八卦的男人。」580Please respect copyright.PENANAuSQVRzMPFP
580Please respect copyright.PENANAdWtcGhk6ic
阿夏開始追求芙兒。芙兒不接受,卻偶爾與他同睡。為何不愛他卻會與他睡?是發洩,是鬱悶,或是對往事的情感投射?芙兒解釋不了,亦不想解釋——找到解釋之時,另一個問題就會隨即出現。580Please respect copyright.PENANAtoWfYNeAjG
580Please respect copyright.PENANAuy57OmWbzY
繼續同睡,繼續被追求,繼續找人找救贖。生活不過如此,平平凡凡,無無謂謂。580Please respect copyright.PENANAyuJYt84Qer
580Please respect copyright.PENANAaSss87k74Z
數年後的某天,芙兒收到來自兒時鄰居的一通電話。對方說芙爸病重,行將就木,希望她回鄉探望。580Please respect copyright.PENANAoBR797BKNj
580Please respect copyright.PENANAFZ6pLdJRWN
「是他希望我回去,或是大家希望我回去探望他?」580Please respect copyright.PENANA5O0ceF19tw
580Please respect copyright.PENANATEuvZMbsyF
「他堅持不要通知你,但大家還是決定要告訴你。」580Please respect copyright.PENANA0FL32HL1Sa
580Please respect copyright.PENANAr7pbTEtebG
「我明白了。」580Please respect copyright.PENANAHadCrbwT2P
580Please respect copyright.PENANACPxtmFJq9o
當晚,芙兒跟阿夏說要盡快回鄉宣佈婚訊、設喜宴。580Please respect copyright.PENANAGVoziGTGAV
580Please respect copyright.PENANAHoDAZRwic3
「你跟誰結婚?」阿夏詫異。580Please respect copyright.PENANAQ6CzdT41id
580Please respect copyright.PENANAWzwQrxi9Fa
「你。」芙兒明白阿夏的不明白。580Please respect copyright.PENANA9P5NCsPvtL
580Please respect copyright.PENANA4PIWNEKvPZ
顛著、簸著,好不容易來到村口。大城市發展一日千里,隱世小村亦逃不過時間巨輪的輾壓,已然根據政府的規劃建議打造成「山村旅遊區」。生來就是城市人的阿夏未曾到過農村,覺得這地方別具風味,但在村內待了十多年的芙兒卻嗤之以鼻:不也就是電視劇裡的假農村嗎?580Please respect copyright.PENANAzcmu0iVo8H
580Please respect copyright.PENANApDF9Twu941
驀地,一個想法在芙兒腦海掠過。580Please respect copyright.PENANAHcHSc4c4ad
580Please respect copyright.PENANAJaBfxSH8m6
「阿夏。」芙兒拉拉阿夏的手袖:「我們先去蓮花池那邊看看吧。」580Please respect copyright.PENANACM1k3Q6OyJ
580Please respect copyright.PENANAdnfHOX6PxC
不出芙兒所料,蓮花池已面目全非。池邊的泥地與草叢變成了磚路與涼亭,上了漆的鐵製圍欄整齊繞池而立,蓮花換了個品種,顏色更亮麗奪目,尺寸亦比以往的大上數倍。唯一不變的是頭頂上的烈日,仍然熾熱得惡毒。580Please respect copyright.PENANASVQZorEBFG
580Please respect copyright.PENANAuKlIFv0XVH
芙兒逕自繞著蓮花池逆時針方向拐圈踱步。踱踱踱,時間有可能隨著步伐逆轉,帶她回到二十年前的那個晚上嗎?若明知結果,她還是會不阻止爸爸賣掉小荷嗎?580Please respect copyright.PENANAM0OPIyWsjB
580Please respect copyright.PENANAGWEvWeezO9
老家陋宅裡,趁著阿夏上廁所的空檔,芙兒湊近芙爸耳邊直接問:「若明知結果,你還是會賣掉小荷嗎?」580Please respect copyright.PENANAl4ATTBKEPx
580Please respect copyright.PENANAHG6Z9kCXrh
「會。」氣若柔絲的芙爸斬釘截鐵:「因為我是當爸的。」580Please respect copyright.PENANAmp14pOG9hl
580Please respect copyright.PENANAVHzhEt8V5j
「若沒有遇上小荷,你會賣掉我嗎?」580Please respect copyright.PENANAmO7Tt5gInZ
580Please respect copyright.PENANAYv0JSReLmz
「會。因為你們兄妹倆都會活著。活著才會有希望。」580Please respect copyright.PENANAiXOnlIvOFG
580Please respect copyright.PENANAHaujpr69yl
芙兒大受刺激,轉身奪門而出。580Please respect copyright.PENANArbYfXzCwoB
580Please respect copyright.PENANAAifjYxutEx
夏夜有月,月下有蟬,蟬聲擾人又煩人。路上行人疏落,卻異裝同臉,小荷的臉。路中倏忽生出白蓮朵朵,蓮上皆有小彩鞋一隻。芙兒知道自己瘋了,眼前盡是幻覺。理智脫軌,她不再恐懼,像個十歲的少女那樣跳脫輕盈,一步踏一蓮,來到池邊。580Please respect copyright.PENANA1CgHcZ3hEw
580Please respect copyright.PENANADATXYjqhUN
池邊有人,像小荷,像芙爸,像人口販子,像阿夏。她握著一隻彩色小鞋,木無表情直盯池中那朵大蓮花。芙兒走近女子,女子報以微笑,遞上手中小鞋。580Please respect copyright.PENANAim8SJVB6dE
580Please respect copyright.PENANA6zXv9IuUZe
芙兒接過它,模仿爸爸當晚的姿勢,以完美的拋物線弧度拋出小鞋。小鞋不偏不倚剛好落在池中央的蓮花上,有如二十年前的那夜。純白蓮花被夜色沾污成帶有瘀青的淡灰色,悉才看來色彩繽紛的小鞋子亦被迫融入夜色,成了一個若隱若現的小黑點。580Please respect copyright.PENANAfgwwyYqKYx
580Please respect copyright.PENANA743AoHYz1z
女人哈哈大笑起來,笑聲豁然開朗。芙兒腳下的白蓮和小鞋驀地消失隱去,唯獨女子依然完好站在面前。笑過以後,女子轉身離開,身影沒入林間不復見。580Please respect copyright.PENANAkxTDSJkPXH
580Please respect copyright.PENANAUxiXPXmVmO
芙兒惘然——她不肯定對方是幻覺或是確切存在的真人。580Please respect copyright.PENANAuAp7RIyL7l
580Please respect copyright.PENANAzcPtDh0Ypl
數日後,芙爸與世長辭。580Please respect copyright.PENANAGHGuBWo9bx
580Please respect copyright.PENANAsqrU2HLCBv
「既然不需要沖喜,你還會跟我結婚嗎?」580Please respect copyright.PENANAIHiKwRVxhK
580Please respect copyright.PENANAonAZYjh0xQ
「你想跟我結婚嗎?」580Please respect copyright.PENANAdbtSmuExBm
580Please respect copyright.PENANAVlzvh16npo
「想。我愛你。」580Please respect copyright.PENANAn4gVsqizQO
580Please respect copyright.PENANAnwpR60Zu3w
「那就繼續吧。」580Please respect copyright.PENANAhc0uJBHjuG
580Please respect copyright.PENANAZRGx1hlLbv
喜慶夜,大排筵席。此人是小荷,那人是小荷,新郎是小荷,老爺是小荷,奶奶是小荷,滿堂皆是小荷。芙兒帶醉喜極而泣,感激小荷前來祝福她。580Please respect copyright.PENANAtQcd6eynuN
580Please respect copyright.PENANAZ5XFQN4Rw5
宴後,賓客散去。醉得幾近失去意識的芙兒被攙扶到新房去。滾燙的臉龐忽爾涼涼的。她知道有人為她用濕毛巾抹臉抹汗。580Please respect copyright.PENANAj3lcPv1HSg
580Please respect copyright.PENANAQPjP9YKMlY
「謝謝你……小荷……」580Please respect copyright.PENANALmribnwQrY
580Please respect copyright.PENANAEWSb7OuNGt
「不用客氣……」580Please respect copyright.PENANA444xHhR4S8
580Please respect copyright.PENANA77bohNJxh2
說著說著,阿夏哭了。晶瑩淚水沿著胖白的臉頰下滑,水靈大眼楚楚可憐。像小荷。