午餐用膳後，男生們大多會將多餘時間花在學校操場，或場上打籃球，或場外觀賽。我亦不例外，在場邊與同學輕聲討論打球技巧。忘形之際，一個籃球高速自後側飛來，狠狠砸中我右耳耳背。場中男生上前向我連聲道歉，我只道不要緊。男生拾球後繼續回場較勁，沒把事情放心上。當然，我也沒所謂，小事一椿。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWGBjVZlnp1
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxMTq0esdL2
令我在意的反倒是球場另邊有個陌生男生對我微笑。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSzHoxh52b8
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaVunbsZFWK
匆匆一笑，半秒即逝。他轉頭跟身邊友人繼續說說笑笑。我挺肯定自己想多了——對方不是故意對著我笑，僅是他的站立姿勢及面向角度湊巧朝著我這邊來。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPhsJ7Hpcu6
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWWXsmBrFw4
但我還是記住了那抹笑容，記住了他的臉容氣質，記住日光照在他臉營造出來的明暗。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfh8SHpnaUU
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9AzZyCUr1D
為何記住？我解釋不了。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgzYVT7A2Vx
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpFYRsMP2Dl
好幾個月過去，夏天轉換為冬。颯颯寒風成功減少場邊女生數目，男生仍然在此閒聊逛蕩。同行朋友忽爾興起，動身到場裡打球。我笑笑婉拒，說吃飽想睡不想動。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbyNmrXmCI6
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX8IldIsRsM
我獨坐長椅一邊，納悶之際，兩個男生前來佔坐長椅另端空位。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk8WMMcwJIW
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvPtp4MRCTV
其中一個是他。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwdpIKaeIdr
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOjB44S1H5z
那笑那臉那明暗，歷歷在目。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Q1RFP5QXs
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3r8ktNdtZv
心頭一顫，我馬上別過臉去。數秒後，我稍為冷靜，意識到自己的失態，佯裝無異，繼續觀看球賽。不過他似乎察覺我的異樣，有意無意對我展露笑容——一個意味深長的笑容。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVbdNKXXx2o
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCmOY7jk5WT
我尷尬離座回課室去。走樓梯至三樓時，他竟從後叫住我。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHvKdWEKmfO
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhb4RPB6YTi
「你遺下銀包。」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYZMYd5hefA
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjT7TGwQlii
「謝謝。」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEbYzgjeciW
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6uQC9WRFeq
「不用客氣……」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ88QwReFBag
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0tYBbens4j
奇怪。看他忸怩模樣，他似乎還有話要對我說。說甚麼？不是必須相識的陌生人可以如何打開話題？甚或是「為何要展開話題」？580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0th5JDFF1S
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPfpbkwOUIi
氣氛尷尬，四目交投，卻不知如何是好。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPH90oTKg83
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWOwgH89RqD
直至提著半滿水桶和微濕地拖的校工在我倆之間經過，彼此才回過神來，甚有默契同時分別從兩個方向離開。我往上，他往下。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf5nG2pYoav
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxTDOdoh23S
誰料在午飯時間完結後，我們還是在五樓走廊再次碰面——原來我們都是中五生。由於班別不同、社交圈子不重疊，所以未曾正式認識。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNSwi94FutA
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ50XHsTJ4mh
不要緊。現在互相自我介紹就可以。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJLmhyypkbA
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEZqx6LaAg4
「我是文班許家偉。」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0NBY5oqoJX
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD3fPs00EB3
「我是理班李浩榮。」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ95VLHHLC2y
其實我早已知道許家偉。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGCiVblg6PC
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6iYfAkIGgj
我心儀對象就是喜歡許家偉。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ5ap4S9k4Q
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVrt26yv5bN
被拒絕的心情久久不散。我開始留意許家偉這個人。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxw0gzUQBcr
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡySotJ54PDZ
拜託阿強向文班生打探有關許家偉的事。某文班生說許家偉無啥特別，亦無專長或短處，是個存在感不強的乖學生。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSKzAY8A78c
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEcwKrMeZVa
我不明所以——為何心儀對象看上他？580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyyLi4GlB9S
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt1tuKGIn48
不是認為心儀對象定要接受我或是對方必須比我優勝，只是我真的找不到許家偉有何可愛之處。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8qGfVof57l
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVleDUBhV9w
不服氣。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeWeiMvJAeQ
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTZR483lcZS
繼續觀察他。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiJcCMOkt5q
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ifSXyipQF
匆匆數月，秋去冬來，我對許家偉好奇不減。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpPhwIobyx1
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1vrfiyV3hH
某天午餐後，我和阿強發現許家偉獨坐操場長椅，於是立即齊齊上前佔據長椅另端，近距離觀察他。他似乎發現我們的奇異目光，動身離開。正感沒趣，阿強發現地上有一個銀包。查看內裡，看見許家偉的學生證。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoAut7G38kg
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNzIWxNk1lE
阿強建議取走內裡金錢和學生證，再將銀包交到校務處。我反對，擔心惹禍上身。阿強問我是否討厭許家偉。我無正面回應，僅是堅持物歸原主。阿強讓步，將銀包遞給我。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmUct7TNeDE
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfyakMVY1rX
我急步追趕許家偉。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡONKmMamRvs
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE3eHAjJ8OI
不明白自己此刻行為。正如阿強所問，我不是討厭許家偉嗎？人前，我一直表達對許家偉的討厭；人後，我曾多次理性分析過自己有沒有討厭他的實質理由。沒有，尤其在我對心儀對象忘情以後。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkIXKQblzum
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ECc48jdUX
奈何留意許家偉經已成為我的習慣。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUiBSB0WS2y
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcF6MU9UT3l
遠遠看見他的身影，我自然而然打起十二分精神；聽到心儀對象與好友聊天時提及許家偉，我對他的好奇大於對心儀對象的；走經中五級壁報板，會不經意試找許家偉的名字……580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfbu2soANMa
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvqL3RCPDck
「你遺下了銀包。」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrGPNIua5Ml
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4iAOFRGaw0
「謝謝。」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaFOl8JaaTN
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4JgRIlWy03
「不用客氣……」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡukOWibGJzn
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwLaw1MgJKC
經已物歸原主。他道謝，我虛應，然後該是沒有然後。但我們還是愣在原地。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhYQ2y7FtFu
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhHKn78VgtI
該要說甚麼？還需要說甚麼？沒有啊！但我們還是原地愣著。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZMcaZNZ0d2
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOrh0Vx9BCe
他是否一早知道我？他是否早已察覺我在留意他？不會吧……580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU4IdZjtl8C
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz5yihMkyYZ
我望入他雙眼。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2snnupLvbh
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX5DIY1rxLJ
不。我鐵定他不認識我。他的眼神迷惘疑惑忐忑，似乎在期待甚麼……580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ78DwPqaf72
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd928Pgw8nz
一名校工在我和許家偉之間走過。我在視線被阻擋當刻回過神來，低頭轉身離開。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ5qQj8LZ8f
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcy7TokvcF1
我回到操場側長椅。阿強仍在，問我有否教訓許家偉一頓。我苦笑罵他發神經。阿強收起笑容，認真勸我別壓抑情緒。我說理解許家偉是無辜的，不會繼續討厭他。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdDKp7FGkzt
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhWQeIxjYCW
上課鈴聲響起，學生魚貫回課室去。人群中，我在五樓走廊與許家偉迎個正著。他驚訝之情洋溢於表。我反倒開懷笑了，笑他遲鈍，後知後覺。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4N0eFuC0FW
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGjwlAFg7Up
許家偉臉紅，禮貌地點點頭，上前自我介紹。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMpb7KuSiS4
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6bxqD1CBXR
「我是文班許家偉。」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7IzrdTuwvn
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyD9JpX9RKj
「我是理班李浩榮。」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6WxJF3Jvsd
畢業多年，我跟李浩榮從未聯絡過——當我這麼講，舊生聚會上人人皆表出乎意料：「你們當年那麼要好，竟然未曾聯絡一次？」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSEizmePUQQ
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ZwpzlxKlI
我笑笑點頭，不多解釋。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG2zf2DuXUH
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPIdJAEJUYO
畢業禮當晚，他告訴我，他的心儀對象喜歡我。我問他那女生是誰，我可以當面拒絕她。他說不必，因為他已不愛他。我感到奇怪：如已釋懷，為何重提。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ncKEV6cZE
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsghf6CXNa0
李浩榮笑笑，笑說他已覺悟，明白人的真正作用。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEIHmNixWYX
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS7ONDWCzhU
聽到這莫名其妙的答案，我就知道他醉了——他喝下很多酒。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgczBBGqrC2
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt3AeFo7GuH
他說人的真正作用就是將另外兩個不相識的人串連在一起，或是把深交的兩個人分開，例如那女生無意間將我帶到他的人生當中，而我又無意間成為他和青梅竹馬鬧翻原因。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxT4tALuVcT
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0M4b4dIwYP
我大概聽出話裡的話。有點難過，有點無奈，有點害怕——害怕今晚坦白心聲以後，我和李浩榮再無交集。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJswYJnowrc
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDngsInRkKj
但我沒有阻止他。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ62zqAlv1dp
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡltuFOA0INe
他壓抑已久，情感需要釋放。這很可能是我以朋友身份給他的最後禮物。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdFL8oGZqbe
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡybtDFIlHVz
我慫恿他繼續說下去。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHxp4ZTDv2c
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTS3xmMuYr7
他跟阿強相識於幼稚園。他倆都是頑皮孩子，經常氣得老師向父母投訴，父母夜裡就來一頓痛打。他們經常看到對方手腫腳瘀，起初會擔心對方身體，後來發現彼此不怕捱打，只怕玩得不痛快。相顧輕笑，再玩再捱打……玩著捱著，二人同甘共苦十四年，彼此之間有一種難以言喻的默契——只有阿強看出他非但未曾討厭我，反倒羨慕我的不起眼。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUBNK5cxyXP
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxZeN0WdfVo
我好奇李浩榮何解會羨慕不起眼的人。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ89GVKKbNzx
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoffnRfnZIQ
「不被注意、不被期望，方能活得自由稱心。」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKj0p0X7i4c
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjby75AIpV9
我問他是否有煩惱，可以向我傾訴，也許我能想出好辦法。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAhrd0eGMk9
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5t2bRRcf64
李浩榮報以苦笑，沒有正面回答。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmzpd59Q0hV
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIMtVhYig5h
那夜，他喝得爛醉，我送他回家。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT0A9vkp9xM
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUU8II4fBlI
伯母應門。是個凶神惡煞的中年婦，語調急促，不帶尾音。她接過李浩榮，留下一句道謝，利落關門。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCkP3mK6VGT
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK6xsWfeueK
門關。心頭若有所失——感覺永遠不會再見到李浩榮。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6VRTEmSnOM
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfsNcNMfav1
其實沒甚麼大不了。這是人生必經的離合過程。不會令我受到任何傷害，亦不會令我蒙受任何損失。著實沒甚麼大不了。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU6dlzjZubH
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWE39Mg7cBN
但我掛念他。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA2ZALAf7dk
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1lkPXTryVo
不是偶然想起，不是遇上麻煩、需要向他求助，不是看見眼熟物件進而聯想。沒錯，是真正的掛念——我無法自欺。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYy0mvXCuLI
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwjlujcVvGk
想起他，我不期然會笑；想起他，我感覺窩心；想起他，我會自覺孤單可憐。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ106ELPPhSQ
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3c2O2NglJg
我漸漸意識到這是甚麼一回事。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuLKz25dUPX
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrydbzv2YE3
糟糕了！怎麼辦？怎麼辦！不知道。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpfJjzGDaP1
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaFP6iluJro
不要說。不要聽。不要見。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVzSaUO5A0E
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXyrUzB4BTN
希望時間會沖淡一切。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3cWEEkyYfa
依稀記得畢業翌日在自家客廳梳化醒來的畫面。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjImjDqQSNY
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQbbXi4ZfA1
首先映入眼簾的是極端的光與暗、黑與白——廳燈沒有亮起，窗外日光耀眼得刺痛，室內與室外亮度差異極大。眼睛無法於短時間內適應，煞是暈眩，有一股酸餿灼熱自胸腔冒升。想吐。沒法吐。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrx20uGQSrp
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtyo9HVzGZs
阿媽沒有理會我，背對我在廚房煲湯。她對著湯煲說：「昨晚是他送你回來。」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ygioT1WKJ
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡviYI8gn8Ex
我敵不過暈眩與劇烈頭痛，重新軟癱梳化上。沒回話打算，反正阿媽定會繼續說下去。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFhXn7S4iUt
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE0LHYhtYI8
「我不明白你為何喜歡他。」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOQqnAr5X1M
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwthUVjl09y
「我也不明白。」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO1YHLOmvYw
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNk2PDERjgJ
「那就不要繼續喜歡。」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Oi2QX7sp4
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0I7OkCthpQ
「感覺，並非可以自由控制的。」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6x7gllSOcj
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTb1B838m98
「我亦無法自由控制我的兒子喜歡誰。」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbGecLcgg7J
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5LjsrB2m5r
「我也無法自由選擇誰是我的母親。」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtEiD7Vfm7a
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxYFTwW0eCf
「真抱歉——未得你同意就把你生下來。」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe8wa6JTCr6
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXgIfvdfZLG
「你該要對我感到抱歉。」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrYphff5Q4Q
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl9NA5mHn60
我晦氣，毫不掩飾對她的討厭。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVZOoithzbr
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjlfv66PmB5
阿媽沒再多話，繼續在廚房忙著。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuCeT7K3i6E
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyikq1bQb7g
真要命。人生就是那麼多無謂紛擾。我的人生屬於我，為何旁人總愛插手？580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbbUZgilUdW
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWcnMRCL7Rq
抵著頭痛，我硬撐起身子小便去。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1TG3MEhDDO
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjllUMCxeQv
在抽氣扇綿延不斷的摩打聲襯托下，小便聲清脆得噁心。噁感令我清醒不少，昨晚回憶開始隱約浮現。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJDXblQxvly
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc4AIUJQwdW
我似乎講過一些不該出口的話。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkjfLFBytz0
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡROlzvb2D7Y
真的嗎？我真的把話說出口？580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1JKtgBwAnR
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzWtCp2rUGa
為何這麼驚訝？阿強醉倒後，我特意喝下更多酒，不就是為了把話講出口嗎？580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3G3DceR0dx
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9u2Jl5iRKF
便意盡，醉意消，騰出來的腦空間被後悔和自責分佔了。我呆上半晌才提起褲子洗手去。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbDv3d6xfHQ
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡStqGH26Gqi
為何要走到這一步？580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡudM6PGc278
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnJKF1gh114
阿強早已看出我對許家偉的感情，擔心我走上「歪路」。我有點兒生氣——誰有資格定義這是否歪路。阿強自知沒能說服我，乾脆將觀察所得告訴我媽。性格暴躁的阿媽一反常態，冷靜淡然勸我切勿繼續投放感情。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhittc9LTe6
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH2o8BD5PSA
「世人表裡不一。口說開明，實質守舊。」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYV9kFwHVD2
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIrSMPALE8w
「是嗎？你呢？你口說放棄，心底裡在支持我吧？」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlDWfuAxVSv
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFtHLjDY8AJ
「別倔強。」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKpZP3V8g5E
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNsOp8CVT2k
「我想要知道你的真正想法！別敷衍！別蒙混！」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmoa2kA6ifM
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk30EnbqL7R
「我想你放棄。」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuBe7bG2OyC
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgS70EkMy8a
「原因？」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCzLIxHaRsl
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT0gFC4WfVa
「現實終歸是現實的。你將要面對的困難並非單靠信念、希望和愛情就可以解決。」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcxaY8qOhS5
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYY3nDQ7t4b
「我知道。」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS3YYEvenpM
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡElVSTfcej4
「何解還要繼續下去？」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzWnueI5jW4
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsqWNMjxesf
「感情易放難收。」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD8cQChfZ7S
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9aoDX5yvdp
阿媽沒法回嘴——「感情」一詞明確否定了邏輯和理智，她還有何話可說，只得被動地待我回心轉意。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWsnyLj5k7F
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfT5w6hTagg
傍晚，我約見阿強，在公園暗處與他打一架。我們手腫腳瘀，有如兒時被父母教訓一樣。看著彼此頹喪模樣，我既心痛亦生氣——我們的友誼不該淪落至此！我們該可以當一輩子兄弟手足！580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8syWAeOrvB
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6G750bv5OU
架後，我沒有留下片言隻字，待身體稍稍恢復後首先離開回家去，懶理阿強依然躺在草地上粗喘不已。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgcFV0ZGsuZ
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhoS3CoVXfD
阿媽見我身上有傷，許是大概明白那是甚麼一回事，沒有多問，亦不予關心。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ8Pq0gy8XN
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8RHN2NyBmM
我不在意，一心思考如何在畢業禮當晚向許家偉表白……580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBEHAGX0f1p
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxzsvoe0Dgg
畢業禮，是終結也是新開始。學生們穿戴整齊，戰戰兢兢上台領受證書。莘莘學子前途未卜，能夠掌握在手的只有當下。今朝有酒今朝醉，齊齊喝酒齊齊醉。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpkj8tTcOF4
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5qZDgkowBR
阿強取來一支烈酒，邀我對飲：「追求真愛不是那麼容易。至少要比我更能喝。」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvDnozUU7Ak
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRu3Rvda8Me
我欣然接受。他很了解我，許是估計到我將會乘著酒意找許家偉表白去。我唯一擺脫阿強的方法就是先把他灌醉。我們都不是省油的燈，自小經常一起偷偷喝酒，十分清楚對方酒量和醉態——一旦倒下，沒有廿四小時可醒不過來。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ6wl3f9RB8
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQXJSuI4R2c
小醉。半醉。大醉。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEtkpYDrG1I
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUPbM0AAQnq
阿強半伏枱邊，傻笑問我：「想好如何表白了沒？」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzV9VuZAwR2
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd5RkVOSIGX
「直接講我愛他。」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoeMBvqOPhL
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQY0OV8Yoep
「如果他拒絕？」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ324ZAjRlZV
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHve1OYQdEq
「沒怎麼樣。就像我之前被女同學拒絕那樣。」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx1OVqYdq0O
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvTWcbkqA3O
「如果他接受了？那怎麼辦？」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8fIC3G2Lz2
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0NOJcFzWuK
「我當然是高興！」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ46KZEwvRvO
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡypdEUCxWL5
「我在問，他會怎麼辦？你認為他的內心強大得能夠與你共同面對往後一切？」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ9wRSdH1fc
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNQDY2da1kn
阿強問了一個我沒有想及的問題。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5vIOjz3YkB
事隔四十年，我和李浩榮在阿強的喪禮上再次聚頭。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDdIvSxmF9H
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTyM9eL4tEp
李浩榮說他在畢業禮後與阿強斷絕了聯絡。我為此道歉。他問我為何道歉。我重提他酒後那段說話。他反問我是否真的認為過錯在我。我答不肯定——我無心令他們鬧翻，但我確是他們鬧翻的原因。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP6rsMniYOA
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOAHl7gv3Ki
李浩榮苦笑，笑容意味深長。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ngJoxAlxQ
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb4HRxMMSm0
「阿強沒講錯。你真懦弱。」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaz7sbGpOid
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx1WyVxwP4M
「活了那麼多年，經歷那麼多事情，我不得不承認自己的懦弱。」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlvWMAxtux4
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAlWzg0yywt
「你仍然單身？」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL4QAWJDYTl
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtc4qjGGxNC
「是的。」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfYhl1pmTvO
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNYA3L20kjs
「要我當媒嗎？」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB4QEKJFeMm
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWRrDn5Ba5A
「不了。難為情。」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGmgkeXmwns
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2aUiCHV5oB
李浩榮失笑，笑我不值得被愛。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh40ScO9fAD
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh0dh5fqilA
我陪笑，笑說我懂得珍愛自己就可以。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg1zbDskDJE
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgDs6HlmPsH
多寒暄幾句，我和李浩榮相互道別，分道揚鑣不復見。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8necmNVOor
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNfiLxp8UVp
抬頭望天，天陰雨冷，冷入心脾。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGRy72a8tr5
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrcLEWlwlHQ
回家吧。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMu1zqisAdw
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDiOltHOMbx
開門。門後空洞空虛空蕩蕩。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcundjzlq9g
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡobkbpYcnDN
「戚戚慘慘悽悽，清清冷冷，覓覓尋尋。」興之所至，我一邊脫鞋，一邊倒背《聲聲慢》首三句。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsAgsM3oBGY
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPnieTn3YNo
「尋他千百度，驀然回首，那人卻在燈火闌珊處。」沒有脫襪，懶洋洋得撲到梳化上，順口接上《青玉案．元夕》末句。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7GyDNHYDS1
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY5mni9QPXu
枕臂望窗，映入眼簾的是極端的光與暗、黑與白——廳燈沒有亮起，窗外日光耀眼得刺痛，室內與室外亮度差異極大。驀地憶起日光照在他臉營造出來的明暗，憶起他的臉容氣質，憶起那抹笑容。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrP4XwkDlPy
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6oblvLuaRA
大概是一見鍾情吧。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRqpE3JyYyS
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ZteQKMJH2
奈何我當年愚鈍懵懂，後知後覺。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr3C8PMVrTF
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9JIrVTIbxX
如果我當年及早清楚知道自己的意向，結果會否不一樣？580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGvfOFNPtDo
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW8AIh496Gv
我笑自己想多了：結果會是一樣的。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6JKX1PP9Sh
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjxVciNej26
我是懦弱的人，我珍愛自己，所以我不會為他人冒險。我寧願花上一輩子去幻想錯過了的美好愛情，亦不會勇敢踏前一步去追求愛情。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuHr6WLRFH5
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOvOZ8K9MNz
李浩榮說得沒錯，我不值得被愛。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW6p8s4q0sD
事隔四十年，昔日摯友躺在棺材裡，往日心上人站在我面前。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhspOo7YNse
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrt95VBzaQW
百感交集……580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKyJLT2u5Ur
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfr3AoECTtp
當年我為了許家偉與阿強鬧翻，事後亦沒敢聯絡許家偉。同時失去摯友和心上人，情感上的痛令我失眠了好幾年。那時候，還以為痛楚會一直維持下去，有如浪漫淒美感人的愛情電影情節。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgeuJOurIm1
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVgaVWXNXwS
不過電影終究與現實不同：角色的難忘遭遇濃縮在短短一個半小時裡，情感故此顯得激烈而深刻；現實中的情感必須經過時間洗禮和加入許多愛情以外因素，例如家庭、工作、健康、個人財政等等。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfdMfkfrULe
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXwzGoFlddU
痛楚自然而然被淡化掉。我漸漸忘了阿強的忠肝義膽和許家偉的獨特魅力，直至今日再聚……580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD3BkhPJjJp
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE48HgJwIje
「認得我嗎？我是許家偉。」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaHUPo5N9PE
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡslGCiIY8ih
「認得。你是文班的。」580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzkM7IW3q4Z
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdnbk0fBMDL
許家偉淺笑，笑容如昔，淡然清雅溫婉。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVLbtT2eXLY
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgM0IH0WrJp
閒聊之間，發現他仍然單身。究其原因，他只道難為情。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuwwPMB4VkI
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjoDFqcqnPR
「你不值得被愛。」我蔑笑。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5qcvHEtMzf
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcpySL3F60v
四十年過去，許家偉仍是當初那個許家偉。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3MAIivH4gt
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5u6MJDr62Y
阿強沒講錯——他的內心不會強大得能夠與我共同面對一切。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTLtC6lIglm
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJw01FbDnIg
「我懂得珍愛自己就可以。」許家偉笑著說。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdQJxAPRCZo
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡimvgmeRgTD
許家偉在認真？他真心認為這是珍愛自己的行徑？580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjZGORz9tCA
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyrXOV7IAaW
我哭笑不得。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlWhiZQN12m
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsEuENumCiI
無意跟他繼續對話。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpUeqqBvhdq
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIsdQ8yjtiG
多寒暄幾句，我和許家偉相互道別，分道揚鑣不復見。580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDXTGA419dF
580Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZVrJfFMH6W
抬頭望天，天陰雨冷，冷入心脾。
然後按「加至主畫面」