午餐用膳後，男生們大多會將多餘時間花在學校操場，或場上打籃球，或場外觀賽。我亦不例外，在場邊與同學輕聲討論打球技巧。忘形之際，一個籃球高速自後側飛來，狠狠砸中我右耳耳背。場中男生上前向我連聲道歉，我只道不要緊。男生拾球後繼續回場較勁，沒把事情放心上。當然，我也沒所謂，小事一椿。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡffntx3S7xW
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ50WKmEw2Os
令我在意的反倒是球場另邊有個陌生男生對我微笑。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmwrAZ5JmRv
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4r7lYJz5yq
匆匆一笑，半秒即逝。他轉頭跟身邊友人繼續說說笑笑。我挺肯定自己想多了——對方不是故意對著我笑，僅是他的站立姿勢及面向角度湊巧朝著我這邊來。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN3JFaLEomP
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbYfWiqyDxa
但我還是記住了那抹笑容，記住了他的臉容氣質，記住日光照在他臉營造出來的明暗。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN0pp1uK1FZ
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsNxKwoJBaC
為何記住？我解釋不了。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSYTPJDMv35
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAeqkzmt4PA
好幾個月過去，夏天轉換為冬。颯颯寒風成功減少場邊女生數目，男生仍然在此閒聊逛蕩。同行朋友忽爾興起，動身到場裡打球。我笑笑婉拒，說吃飽想睡不想動。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTfGH2OCEd9
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKrRBTN2lCC
我獨坐長椅一邊，納悶之際，兩個男生前來佔坐長椅另端空位。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTHqdAd71hL
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZXKVx5vTG1
其中一個是他。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5f24mrEhYz
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPAFNGukKin
那笑那臉那明暗，歷歷在目。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEYKHbsnHwW
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoEAVgMPpta
心頭一顫，我馬上別過臉去。數秒後，我稍為冷靜，意識到自己的失態，佯裝無異，繼續觀看球賽。不過他似乎察覺我的異樣，有意無意對我展露笑容——一個意味深長的笑容。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwr7pDu0zRy
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBoiqY56c1K
我尷尬離座回課室去。走樓梯至三樓時，他竟從後叫住我。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtWCOGjvBXK
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNuUfByAP1T
「你遺下銀包。」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwbwraETkqZ
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLZe1j0ifJa
「謝謝。」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7bD5O9Pm1O
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx3lPmvn09D
「不用客氣……」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSuDwQl07NB
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLqrEbN0dS0
奇怪。看他忸怩模樣，他似乎還有話要對我說。說甚麼？不是必須相識的陌生人可以如何打開話題？甚或是「為何要展開話題」？487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcG1Zm4f4Jz
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGorTCealjo
氣氛尷尬，四目交投，卻不知如何是好。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCd1D58AK7g
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvdJNp9cLYs
直至提著半滿水桶和微濕地拖的校工在我倆之間經過，彼此才回過神來，甚有默契同時分別從兩個方向離開。我往上，他往下。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaJlj9Cu88z
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf8HxSXfvTW
誰料在午飯時間完結後，我們還是在五樓走廊再次碰面——原來我們都是中五生。由於班別不同、社交圈子不重疊，所以未曾正式認識。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaPKuvz3vz0
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYMzt2VnImc
不要緊。現在互相自我介紹就可以。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzNRK1cRi13
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIkD7tACQLL
「我是文班許家偉。」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiJFBdJW1EY
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBRl1NHCslr
「我是理班李浩榮。」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdyqcqmtM4y
其實我早已知道許家偉。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNJWxJpcfeG
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEwfuIZ0lOq
我心儀對象就是喜歡許家偉。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFmnq05gXAn
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd8THo4vdlV
被拒絕的心情久久不散。我開始留意許家偉這個人。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiGAdchIU51
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW7ECckD0Lg
拜託阿強向文班生打探有關許家偉的事。某文班生說許家偉無啥特別，亦無專長或短處，是個存在感不強的乖學生。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn6rLf6XIv7
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSZ8KQRCHnv
我不明所以——為何心儀對象看上他？487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwoZ0eC3fHs
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdJGJRuYmE6
不是認為心儀對象定要接受我或是對方必須比我優勝，只是我真的找不到許家偉有何可愛之處。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY6czLb3AkM
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Z5leZK2bG
不服氣。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0OSTE7iiFA
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡllurFhUrGg
繼續觀察他。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaVufwQLqvE
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ41yjSjajeG
匆匆數月，秋去冬來，我對許家偉好奇不減。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhXuJVXHato
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5HzWZbDRNB
某天午餐後，我和阿強發現許家偉獨坐操場長椅，於是立即齊齊上前佔據長椅另端，近距離觀察他。他似乎發現我們的奇異目光，動身離開。正感沒趣，阿強發現地上有一個銀包。查看內裡，看見許家偉的學生證。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo0S9i48bAq
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBXT6WSG0be
阿強建議取走內裡金錢和學生證，再將銀包交到校務處。我反對，擔心惹禍上身。阿強問我是否討厭許家偉。我無正面回應，僅是堅持物歸原主。阿強讓步，將銀包遞給我。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9hXxf882zB
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf1q5CoQY1s
我急步追趕許家偉。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡknBZNnih5K
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp29VDbONPC
不明白自己此刻行為。正如阿強所問，我不是討厭許家偉嗎？人前，我一直表達對許家偉的討厭；人後，我曾多次理性分析過自己有沒有討厭他的實質理由。沒有，尤其在我對心儀對象忘情以後。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgYfbj0evFr
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2llwa4GS5T
奈何留意許家偉經已成為我的習慣。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMTN54nj0DM
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO9cMKqYALM
遠遠看見他的身影，我自然而然打起十二分精神；聽到心儀對象與好友聊天時提及許家偉，我對他的好奇大於對心儀對象的；走經中五級壁報板，會不經意試找許家偉的名字……487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOSZtUcuMT8
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2TLaHl3Xcq
「你遺下了銀包。」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ44ym7qkT5
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaYNtRX5Zx0
「謝謝。」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaqaJjkMNUG
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRtpLhu9byU
「不用客氣……」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZwze6cufFV
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn31YLK4vA4
經已物歸原主。他道謝，我虛應，然後該是沒有然後。但我們還是愣在原地。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1VjShyJ8vH
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpapIPHaGes
該要說甚麼？還需要說甚麼？沒有啊！但我們還是原地愣著。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTjpjr2a2GV
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsD5ka0UrMQ
他是否一早知道我？他是否早已察覺我在留意他？不會吧……487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3wOusPZPnH
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡanziRyOy6E
我望入他雙眼。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvqQjSpTTgi
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwS3XO7BeDC
不。我鐵定他不認識我。他的眼神迷惘疑惑忐忑，似乎在期待甚麼……487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMONSoV3DJj
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS3oKIbo2FO
一名校工在我和許家偉之間走過。我在視線被阻擋當刻回過神來，低頭轉身離開。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4G3ByJuN4X
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkAXHbDBSHr
我回到操場側長椅。阿強仍在，問我有否教訓許家偉一頓。我苦笑罵他發神經。阿強收起笑容，認真勸我別壓抑情緒。我說理解許家偉是無辜的，不會繼續討厭他。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc6799hDFn5
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡByoaLzGMhi
上課鈴聲響起，學生魚貫回課室去。人群中，我在五樓走廊與許家偉迎個正著。他驚訝之情洋溢於表。我反倒開懷笑了，笑他遲鈍，後知後覺。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIp7mHPF44l
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡljHS5szHWM
許家偉臉紅，禮貌地點點頭，上前自我介紹。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7hqQ0VGAXp
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5prXYaqqKJ
「我是文班許家偉。」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAvcBQWXQm4
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo0EuZEpwTh
「我是理班李浩榮。」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkqDKgsgms7
畢業多年，我跟李浩榮從未聯絡過——當我這麼講，舊生聚會上人人皆表出乎意料：「你們當年那麼要好，竟然未曾聯絡一次？」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSUckwmxUPe
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTp0OD5mJpE
我笑笑點頭，不多解釋。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWznguk0yKC
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUwMYAhR5q0
畢業禮當晚，他告訴我，他的心儀對象喜歡我。我問他那女生是誰，我可以當面拒絕她。他說不必，因為他已不愛他。我感到奇怪：如已釋懷，為何重提。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs2NESnC8IG
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnelCzmcaGU
李浩榮笑笑，笑說他已覺悟，明白人的真正作用。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK65YzeewLL
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdVybolDu4X
聽到這莫名其妙的答案，我就知道他醉了——他喝下很多酒。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO5T5bU1UeD
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl2cVQr0TQy
他說人的真正作用就是將另外兩個不相識的人串連在一起，或是把深交的兩個人分開，例如那女生無意間將我帶到他的人生當中，而我又無意間成為他和青梅竹馬鬧翻原因。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGcwcW3ggoq
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4HFMLeCMkX
我大概聽出話裡的話。有點難過，有點無奈，有點害怕——害怕今晚坦白心聲以後，我和李浩榮再無交集。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRMYcFOR7vz
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ79Fie3s3Gs
但我沒有阻止他。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYJM56kxyst
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo9Ywwd02ZX
他壓抑已久，情感需要釋放。這很可能是我以朋友身份給他的最後禮物。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvtYLAhDCuK
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEUqcWT34qA
我慫恿他繼續說下去。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6mcWw0Xcfq
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQMVrCW5eqf
他跟阿強相識於幼稚園。他倆都是頑皮孩子，經常氣得老師向父母投訴，父母夜裡就來一頓痛打。他們經常看到對方手腫腳瘀，起初會擔心對方身體，後來發現彼此不怕捱打，只怕玩得不痛快。相顧輕笑，再玩再捱打……玩著捱著，二人同甘共苦十四年，彼此之間有一種難以言喻的默契——只有阿強看出他非但未曾討厭我，反倒羨慕我的不起眼。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3bqtOyqM87
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNqB6BSLdjq
我好奇李浩榮何解會羨慕不起眼的人。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJoRTg59tyg
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRJvYXFpNpM
「不被注意、不被期望，方能活得自由稱心。」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxXlZ2MiVrf
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw6sMUcmqIv
我問他是否有煩惱，可以向我傾訴，也許我能想出好辦法。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDFy9ioZov9
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGptjtToyJh
李浩榮報以苦笑，沒有正面回答。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV6VzJJWPvi
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkOT82aZ5KS
那夜，他喝得爛醉，我送他回家。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmhbauUaMnN
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjSgCEEMexu
伯母應門。是個凶神惡煞的中年婦，語調急促，不帶尾音。她接過李浩榮，留下一句道謝，利落關門。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXLQQOhZeGB
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD7S12gvwnN
門關。心頭若有所失——感覺永遠不會再見到李浩榮。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVtpalBH1U5
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSWxOrrcaZz
其實沒甚麼大不了。這是人生必經的離合過程。不會令我受到任何傷害，亦不會令我蒙受任何損失。著實沒甚麼大不了。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ10wgMGXz2x
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjAPeOVSscq
但我掛念他。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7f5cRSI0xQ
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtmh4ZyIOMv
不是偶然想起，不是遇上麻煩、需要向他求助，不是看見眼熟物件進而聯想。沒錯，是真正的掛念——我無法自欺。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDCSoa5yLhZ
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHx5T0fZBHL
想起他，我不期然會笑；想起他，我感覺窩心；想起他，我會自覺孤單可憐。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBfEyfnwDNE
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ75aPcQoYZ0
我漸漸意識到這是甚麼一回事。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmGvdHIs6yy
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7scB2nH2XI
糟糕了！怎麼辦？怎麼辦！不知道。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWRaV0DOFSU
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA2hfeRYqwX
不要說。不要聽。不要見。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0xUGsBXLka
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhi2IVI1CUt
希望時間會沖淡一切。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd7MDjNOXSU
依稀記得畢業翌日在自家客廳梳化醒來的畫面。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw977LWbuyb
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrn5EKWWPbe
首先映入眼簾的是極端的光與暗、黑與白——廳燈沒有亮起，窗外日光耀眼得刺痛，室內與室外亮度差異極大。眼睛無法於短時間內適應，煞是暈眩，有一股酸餿灼熱自胸腔冒升。想吐。沒法吐。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFzYu08PQiT
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCed6bBsFz8
阿媽沒有理會我，背對我在廚房煲湯。她對著湯煲說：「昨晚是他送你回來。」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb59BzD08ep
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIPnPue96h4
我敵不過暈眩與劇烈頭痛，重新軟癱梳化上。沒回話打算，反正阿媽定會繼續說下去。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmniihm8WiJ
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt4Oobw98aQ
「我不明白你為何喜歡他。」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLTAOIjyMNJ
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIjlKIkbABa
「我也不明白。」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ901u9crXaG
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnwf9gjP96j
「那就不要繼續喜歡。」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5K85cYZc1Y
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqi3DR9h7RY
「感覺，並非可以自由控制的。」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEnioVLkASt
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoydcRQWPKX
「我亦無法自由控制我的兒子喜歡誰。」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvrrr0Owdu2
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKcsPiyXufn
「我也無法自由選擇誰是我的母親。」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLUHIGGMRVK
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiGje2QgSNw
「真抱歉——未得你同意就把你生下來。」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt81udRqPAq
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmuRGLFYcaH
「你該要對我感到抱歉。」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJQtcVcOcIZ
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEtUAH5vD5l
我晦氣，毫不掩飾對她的討厭。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVZoHGsBtTV
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo00Dp7NseP
阿媽沒再多話，繼續在廚房忙著。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPWArrWiTt6
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUr68y476jb
真要命。人生就是那麼多無謂紛擾。我的人生屬於我，為何旁人總愛插手？487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvw8M6Qf0J7
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwyvma99ELO
抵著頭痛，我硬撐起身子小便去。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlDMuy5QoK6
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkxSk4SNORv
在抽氣扇綿延不斷的摩打聲襯托下，小便聲清脆得噁心。噁感令我清醒不少，昨晚回憶開始隱約浮現。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaGU4FjRwLy
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8kYefaSSTd
我似乎講過一些不該出口的話。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSFXzJqM47P
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFJKvKWGmmQ
真的嗎？我真的把話說出口？487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqy74DXtsXh
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6bTJ0TIyYW
為何這麼驚訝？阿強醉倒後，我特意喝下更多酒，不就是為了把話講出口嗎？487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQtJM03LjhD
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡArLhc0YRdp
便意盡，醉意消，騰出來的腦空間被後悔和自責分佔了。我呆上半晌才提起褲子洗手去。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvrDkxii2qJ
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHNSjTivUny
為何要走到這一步？487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5uZU1ajRkW
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYH36pks1t2
阿強早已看出我對許家偉的感情，擔心我走上「歪路」。我有點兒生氣——誰有資格定義這是否歪路。阿強自知沒能說服我，乾脆將觀察所得告訴我媽。性格暴躁的阿媽一反常態，冷靜淡然勸我切勿繼續投放感情。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjMrf8aqktm
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2IdiekIKlV
「世人表裡不一。口說開明，實質守舊。」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFe5DN3Hb1t
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRJHf9jrJKl
「是嗎？你呢？你口說放棄，心底裡在支持我吧？」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfkI5gc8r2q
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡipSxsxuGXY
「別倔強。」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrA7JPzotlN
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUgit7OWwgt
「我想要知道你的真正想法！別敷衍！別蒙混！」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtEQNvtgTuU
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfmhBUZXtqQ
「我想你放棄。」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4jMjxP4MoY
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNKqeRreIfW
「原因？」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqVrRbKNuuw
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCuDOLj1O9U
「現實終歸是現實的。你將要面對的困難並非單靠信念、希望和愛情就可以解決。」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhUhwUsggU3
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaQwZ8N0c8n
「我知道。」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK5tYriHei9
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0HkA8RIJ18
「何解還要繼續下去？」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxuk6Borwfv
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeXdd81jQ6q
「感情易放難收。」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtpmtm4E4uo
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡunMJgjGpxj
阿媽沒法回嘴——「感情」一詞明確否定了邏輯和理智，她還有何話可說，只得被動地待我回心轉意。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxhCFd3YRlt
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA82vuo65Xk
傍晚，我約見阿強，在公園暗處與他打一架。我們手腫腳瘀，有如兒時被父母教訓一樣。看著彼此頹喪模樣，我既心痛亦生氣——我們的友誼不該淪落至此！我們該可以當一輩子兄弟手足！487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ96UwphcQKL
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5HymzroNSe
架後，我沒有留下片言隻字，待身體稍稍恢復後首先離開回家去，懶理阿強依然躺在草地上粗喘不已。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡixowddpyNN
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH9VQ62gUHk
阿媽見我身上有傷，許是大概明白那是甚麼一回事，沒有多問，亦不予關心。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcVSYTWDlyR
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6iFxYRYGbw
我不在意，一心思考如何在畢業禮當晚向許家偉表白……487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlkg6wd4U9o
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ9rWVSxrAC
畢業禮，是終結也是新開始。學生們穿戴整齊，戰戰兢兢上台領受證書。莘莘學子前途未卜，能夠掌握在手的只有當下。今朝有酒今朝醉，齊齊喝酒齊齊醉。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhvAWz5PyNV
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpSQuu5wEBp
阿強取來一支烈酒，邀我對飲：「追求真愛不是那麼容易。至少要比我更能喝。」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8uhzXduNEJ
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTVedKoxUtj
我欣然接受。他很了解我，許是估計到我將會乘著酒意找許家偉表白去。我唯一擺脫阿強的方法就是先把他灌醉。我們都不是省油的燈，自小經常一起偷偷喝酒，十分清楚對方酒量和醉態——一旦倒下，沒有廿四小時可醒不過來。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAJNid04OQz
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjBX2KPsgy9
小醉。半醉。大醉。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHi5mVzCaIb
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡayGcHGgjI1
阿強半伏枱邊，傻笑問我：「想好如何表白了沒？」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZi7BsNG3pg
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOn96C34ylY
「直接講我愛他。」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCMWVPkZncA
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8lZIRexpzo
「如果他拒絕？」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqmDLTwMkYN
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3yJtS82qi1
「沒怎麼樣。就像我之前被女同學拒絕那樣。」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4pQ8L4Ioqp
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBO2bhWxNgX
「如果他接受了？那怎麼辦？」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0htt7uKON0
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGzcD27VORx
「我當然是高興！」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlG3wPbKOD6
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtJhx9VjHwM
「我在問，他會怎麼辦？你認為他的內心強大得能夠與你共同面對往後一切？」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi5FI1ShiVs
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQevB9XfN7N
阿強問了一個我沒有想及的問題。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbUUNndh8dB
事隔四十年，我和李浩榮在阿強的喪禮上再次聚頭。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHSaiCJ8Pw8
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtoX6YKMTO7
李浩榮說他在畢業禮後與阿強斷絕了聯絡。我為此道歉。他問我為何道歉。我重提他酒後那段說話。他反問我是否真的認為過錯在我。我答不肯定——我無心令他們鬧翻，但我確是他們鬧翻的原因。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWf9NoKX13Z
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ85u2WwRbkY
李浩榮苦笑，笑容意味深長。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKEZxvrXXCN
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFGO9Iarfyg
「阿強沒講錯。你真懦弱。」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlHMGyYMahU
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXnKMslnpwB
「活了那麼多年，經歷那麼多事情，我不得不承認自己的懦弱。」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUkEIsG6goi
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG62vbpn6pa
「你仍然單身？」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXU4QK29Atp
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs9odGhU95K
「是的。」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXf3IFyiv74
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6I8yAoqy48
「要我當媒嗎？」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp3tkhbJ83s
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHhWUSxBLa7
「不了。難為情。」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7htmdUw9xg
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOmsNBsxabB
李浩榮失笑，笑我不值得被愛。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ65eiVCZnr4
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdws4YsZlFY
我陪笑，笑說我懂得珍愛自己就可以。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ38U05eeKRa
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwjogMlJVjn
多寒暄幾句，我和李浩榮相互道別，分道揚鑣不復見。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFv1tUOBcGG
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvO9jZAJsi1
抬頭望天，天陰雨冷，冷入心脾。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqlQRCzQGWY
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXNekUtf3mv
回家吧。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCNt6ibGsnQ
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfOEE7rpx73
開門。門後空洞空虛空蕩蕩。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWJxC3lqTWr
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiqM2HRYfMe
「戚戚慘慘悽悽，清清冷冷，覓覓尋尋。」興之所至，我一邊脫鞋，一邊倒背《聲聲慢》首三句。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZvlkXME69A
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl2TqposjYs
「尋他千百度，驀然回首，那人卻在燈火闌珊處。」沒有脫襪，懶洋洋得撲到梳化上，順口接上《青玉案．元夕》末句。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhSf1QAik1e
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡydO6dAkdnZ
枕臂望窗，映入眼簾的是極端的光與暗、黑與白——廳燈沒有亮起，窗外日光耀眼得刺痛，室內與室外亮度差異極大。驀地憶起日光照在他臉營造出來的明暗，憶起他的臉容氣質，憶起那抹笑容。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNQF1yJRMHe
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNw0Lb27Cyt
大概是一見鍾情吧。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPBRbsTkq2F
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxTZOk78549
奈何我當年愚鈍懵懂，後知後覺。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKIuJoA4qdM
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT4GbAB3ZGs
如果我當年及早清楚知道自己的意向，結果會否不一樣？487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTwAHjajy1P
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYJUPa8RGK5
我笑自己想多了：結果會是一樣的。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡroURWks7f7
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXJEwrxAp8k
我是懦弱的人，我珍愛自己，所以我不會為他人冒險。我寧願花上一輩子去幻想錯過了的美好愛情，亦不會勇敢踏前一步去追求愛情。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3mm5FepDgu
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8QnV4ComGR
李浩榮說得沒錯，我不值得被愛。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1xQpuo7olP
事隔四十年，昔日摯友躺在棺材裡，往日心上人站在我面前。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqrGx94BBkj
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRstf0jmigq
百感交集……487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUFKkb0BSIa
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKhr8mHk6VR
當年我為了許家偉與阿強鬧翻，事後亦沒敢聯絡許家偉。同時失去摯友和心上人，情感上的痛令我失眠了好幾年。那時候，還以為痛楚會一直維持下去，有如浪漫淒美感人的愛情電影情節。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHonq6laYad
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdquKlCVuLe
不過電影終究與現實不同：角色的難忘遭遇濃縮在短短一個半小時裡，情感故此顯得激烈而深刻；現實中的情感必須經過時間洗禮和加入許多愛情以外因素，例如家庭、工作、健康、個人財政等等。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm7QUXwMQyb
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0j7LKT6VER
痛楚自然而然被淡化掉。我漸漸忘了阿強的忠肝義膽和許家偉的獨特魅力，直至今日再聚……487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡikW8oJCX8s
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEsVGuv7XrO
「認得我嗎？我是許家偉。」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBn4QiXYTNH
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2a41yMCYah
「認得。你是文班的。」487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQFzL0byDBe
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLET7BEdzAE
許家偉淺笑，笑容如昔，淡然清雅溫婉。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr8e5QbXwvB
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdcT4nh8SYE
閒聊之間，發現他仍然單身。究其原因，他只道難為情。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDnMz9UHWco
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkJVLMCDtZQ
「你不值得被愛。」我蔑笑。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd8fHk1SFD0
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgxtsiK2JtH
四十年過去，許家偉仍是當初那個許家偉。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgWlAi9BO86
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeCYLz0E4PI
阿強沒講錯——他的內心不會強大得能夠與我共同面對一切。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdffX5oGEwj
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBxETk2z9w6
「我懂得珍愛自己就可以。」許家偉笑著說。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw2a0Z51P3u
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVSbr8YhYdt
許家偉在認真？他真心認為這是珍愛自己的行徑？487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsrBDMlTAhD
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEHzTa6OH4M
我哭笑不得。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6KDORU6pw8
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjWXFm7LNsz
無意跟他繼續對話。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsyCQuOmvMu
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeILoZVIJdE
多寒暄幾句，我和許家偉相互道別，分道揚鑣不復見。487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlrhjHah8Se
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnh1vqPeH1p
抬頭望天，天陰雨冷，冷入心脾。
然後按「加至主畫面」