午餐用膳後，男生們大多會將多餘時間花在學校操場，或場上打籃球，或場外觀賽。我亦不例外，在場邊與同學輕聲討論打球技巧。忘形之際，一個籃球高速自後側飛來，狠狠砸中我右耳耳背。場中男生上前向我連聲道歉，我只道不要緊。男生拾球後繼續回場較勁，沒把事情放心上。當然，我也沒所謂，小事一椿。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjom5Xk6vDO
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1EVqojfKec
令我在意的反倒是球場另邊有個陌生男生對我微笑。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdhBUR2Np4b
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTYx70mAGI0
匆匆一笑，半秒即逝。他轉頭跟身邊友人繼續說說笑笑。我挺肯定自己想多了——對方不是故意對著我笑，僅是他的站立姿勢及面向角度湊巧朝著我這邊來。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ3orWI5p35
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuVN0JEcSfp
但我還是記住了那抹笑容，記住了他的臉容氣質，記住日光照在他臉營造出來的明暗。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOMeaa5D2vG
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoMUxUj4XYZ
為何記住？我解釋不了。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYK7Iwhm0vX
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdOMxDUwYr5
好幾個月過去，夏天轉換為冬。颯颯寒風成功減少場邊女生數目，男生仍然在此閒聊逛蕩。同行朋友忽爾興起，動身到場裡打球。我笑笑婉拒，說吃飽想睡不想動。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPOY5tQUy4p
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpyyZQStyeE
我獨坐長椅一邊，納悶之際，兩個男生前來佔坐長椅另端空位。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnWZOtzvxlW
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa3QA7rf9Ob
其中一個是他。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN6s9GI7RKA
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxE25vfcMHa
那笑那臉那明暗，歷歷在目。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPG1vtvjOO5
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Ys4o4vCSl
心頭一顫，我馬上別過臉去。數秒後，我稍為冷靜，意識到自己的失態，佯裝無異，繼續觀看球賽。不過他似乎察覺我的異樣，有意無意對我展露笑容——一個意味深長的笑容。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEErRpFs0zX
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡceBRLH5iBL
我尷尬離座回課室去。走樓梯至三樓時，他竟從後叫住我。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX45oIgmA38
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtw7Ur9q3FN
「你遺下銀包。」527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnRwxCnBFOQ
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVnt3CN7nnO
「謝謝。」527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8AOdbe5662
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0shsGJFa9C
「不用客氣……」527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTqCQgN47aK
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy8gJodOp47
奇怪。看他忸怩模樣，他似乎還有話要對我說。說甚麼？不是必須相識的陌生人可以如何打開話題？甚或是「為何要展開話題」？527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4xNSHcOtVZ
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt4g7vF5Vk6
氣氛尷尬，四目交投，卻不知如何是好。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgq1bsDeNZf
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI8tRFNVtGk
直至提著半滿水桶和微濕地拖的校工在我倆之間經過，彼此才回過神來，甚有默契同時分別從兩個方向離開。我往上，他往下。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBLyUZKOnyp
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDqCcFpg7JV
誰料在午飯時間完結後，我們還是在五樓走廊再次碰面——原來我們都是中五生。由於班別不同、社交圈子不重疊，所以未曾正式認識。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6JfGVdOEd7
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPb8QxwA5aW
不要緊。現在互相自我介紹就可以。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqJynko8Lmp
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSqwnyHfGpg
「我是文班許家偉。」527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhvNFVQpEUh
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwWEW4l5cOH
「我是理班李浩榮。」527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQgN3l6zVPQ
其實我早已知道許家偉。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJUTqC12Ae4
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHkFEU4pYbc
我心儀對象就是喜歡許家偉。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJwzzfbF9OE
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrfPBjObymg
被拒絕的心情久久不散。我開始留意許家偉這個人。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm9fMYeMII6
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeJMTEKB1o8
拜託阿強向文班生打探有關許家偉的事。某文班生說許家偉無啥特別，亦無專長或短處，是個存在感不強的乖學生。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyWrM99YVNc
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAzwGka2N2M
我不明所以——為何心儀對象看上他？527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiO2s5nxwGB
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdP7IOrGrmS
不是認為心儀對象定要接受我或是對方必須比我優勝，只是我真的找不到許家偉有何可愛之處。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdDKOn9UoOv
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7XaWK3aRal
不服氣。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTN841R5XwJ
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ43qceggPI4
繼續觀察他。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv7MsBZIqgp
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJPp9PfyRNU
匆匆數月，秋去冬來，我對許家偉好奇不減。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiAnrpQPLg0
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTcj5jevIM1
某天午餐後，我和阿強發現許家偉獨坐操場長椅，於是立即齊齊上前佔據長椅另端，近距離觀察他。他似乎發現我們的奇異目光，動身離開。正感沒趣，阿強發現地上有一個銀包。查看內裡，看見許家偉的學生證。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9KLDqEhyU5
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAZvC5kVLdK
阿強建議取走內裡金錢和學生證，再將銀包交到校務處。我反對，擔心惹禍上身。阿強問我是否討厭許家偉。我無正面回應，僅是堅持物歸原主。阿強讓步，將銀包遞給我。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtgDVKBrrQQ
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8SIR1dqEDC
我急步追趕許家偉。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvSAbTyrsHx
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhlZUI2Q1dm
不明白自己此刻行為。正如阿強所問，我不是討厭許家偉嗎？人前，我一直表達對許家偉的討厭；人後，我曾多次理性分析過自己有沒有討厭他的實質理由。沒有，尤其在我對心儀對象忘情以後。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSxAFhGQyrT
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSq7jhlbuX6
奈何留意許家偉經已成為我的習慣。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiCnMwwl925
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGNDgdROtpg
遠遠看見他的身影，我自然而然打起十二分精神；聽到心儀對象與好友聊天時提及許家偉，我對他的好奇大於對心儀對象的；走經中五級壁報板，會不經意試找許家偉的名字……527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ15I0lGJarG
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwhAWexNesI
「你遺下了銀包。」527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0xcgSHlpWD
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgvplVvURZw
「謝謝。」527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNdlnXQd9oW
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnZopgwivHi
「不用客氣……」527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTkEzUP5hvW
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLku0zF1EVL
經已物歸原主。他道謝，我虛應，然後該是沒有然後。但我們還是愣在原地。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnhXcCe3gwv
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6sxFj2T7fr
該要說甚麼？還需要說甚麼？沒有啊！但我們還是原地愣著。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxMOj3jFHTo
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwJp0qKguMs
他是否一早知道我？他是否早已察覺我在留意他？不會吧……527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyoXCxV2jd8
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdMeCoYBalH
我望入他雙眼。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyeZSOOyJBk
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡksnDzv6jgl
不。我鐵定他不認識我。他的眼神迷惘疑惑忐忑，似乎在期待甚麼……527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡglh21p0L10
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5T5tbXgw10
一名校工在我和許家偉之間走過。我在視線被阻擋當刻回過神來，低頭轉身離開。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0V8YZyQmcm
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhzZSzyKZSb
我回到操場側長椅。阿強仍在，問我有否教訓許家偉一頓。我苦笑罵他發神經。阿強收起笑容，認真勸我別壓抑情緒。我說理解許家偉是無辜的，不會繼續討厭他。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDTi6rt9hLt
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuhKVPW3BZg
上課鈴聲響起，學生魚貫回課室去。人群中，我在五樓走廊與許家偉迎個正著。他驚訝之情洋溢於表。我反倒開懷笑了，笑他遲鈍，後知後覺。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLqwF6Cuscg
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUijdDj07tt
許家偉臉紅，禮貌地點點頭，上前自我介紹。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzVJFjF5XcK
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUjvqRMeOWA
「我是文班許家偉。」527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrY2dAJgDyc
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlaGowwsxCQ
「我是理班李浩榮。」527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm6tJdwjHYa
畢業多年，我跟李浩榮從未聯絡過——當我這麼講，舊生聚會上人人皆表出乎意料：「你們當年那麼要好，竟然未曾聯絡一次？」527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcV5OBageYl
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRbw26OQaKr
我笑笑點頭，不多解釋。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtoPBgegFN4
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmMfLsTrXIN
畢業禮當晚，他告訴我，他的心儀對象喜歡我。我問他那女生是誰，我可以當面拒絕她。他說不必，因為他已不愛他。我感到奇怪：如已釋懷，為何重提。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA8e58UUzG0
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmOm8lFQB74
李浩榮笑笑，笑說他已覺悟，明白人的真正作用。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6J45rCafG8
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYVjpcADhD1
聽到這莫名其妙的答案，我就知道他醉了——他喝下很多酒。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjmbOMQtsyf
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡokYCoaEh1m
他說人的真正作用就是將另外兩個不相識的人串連在一起，或是把深交的兩個人分開，例如那女生無意間將我帶到他的人生當中，而我又無意間成為他和青梅竹馬鬧翻原因。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpjIZda9d7i
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZvoSDStln4
我大概聽出話裡的話。有點難過，有點無奈，有點害怕——害怕今晚坦白心聲以後，我和李浩榮再無交集。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBrJeougtuM
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH0ZBiT1uPS
但我沒有阻止他。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrzkNpJxW33
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP84QQVs99K
他壓抑已久，情感需要釋放。這很可能是我以朋友身份給他的最後禮物。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe3Qa3ILhi9
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVnKhk3f2wF
我慫恿他繼續說下去。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2NhaUatncM
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9PL65PhaY6
他跟阿強相識於幼稚園。他倆都是頑皮孩子，經常氣得老師向父母投訴，父母夜裡就來一頓痛打。他們經常看到對方手腫腳瘀，起初會擔心對方身體，後來發現彼此不怕捱打，只怕玩得不痛快。相顧輕笑，再玩再捱打……玩著捱著，二人同甘共苦十四年，彼此之間有一種難以言喻的默契——只有阿強看出他非但未曾討厭我，反倒羨慕我的不起眼。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6zogSFq1bb
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6G1R0vI1VW
我好奇李浩榮何解會羨慕不起眼的人。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtgXTa7O2DN
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQBxFaWE4rc
「不被注意、不被期望，方能活得自由稱心。」527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyK8qQAzMnv
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmT8zJA2yWv
我問他是否有煩惱，可以向我傾訴，也許我能想出好辦法。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUQrMqcbZiQ
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTqJc5VbeNq
李浩榮報以苦笑，沒有正面回答。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJSoph46doQ
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKldYtVWEE1
那夜，他喝得爛醉，我送他回家。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnokSXsivRp
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS6c5eaCcQj
伯母應門。是個凶神惡煞的中年婦，語調急促，不帶尾音。她接過李浩榮，留下一句道謝，利落關門。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXrU4ria4Kv
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJo8YsMtIBD
門關。心頭若有所失——感覺永遠不會再見到李浩榮。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnMqelhATft
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwsrDTsNjB1
其實沒甚麼大不了。這是人生必經的離合過程。不會令我受到任何傷害，亦不會令我蒙受任何損失。著實沒甚麼大不了。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyjM7rpZtUi
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwXN4AJoejb
但我掛念他。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbouH6j1kpL
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs29NVHqVhw
不是偶然想起，不是遇上麻煩、需要向他求助，不是看見眼熟物件進而聯想。沒錯，是真正的掛念——我無法自欺。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbkPA3ZyM0K
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3SR2u0Lgy1
想起他，我不期然會笑；想起他，我感覺窩心；想起他，我會自覺孤單可憐。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMtEbMUURQU
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJF7oQ5XbgV
我漸漸意識到這是甚麼一回事。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWyAUr6ykQ0
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfJGAJSFqgx
糟糕了！怎麼辦？怎麼辦！不知道。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHlwYDvcjPJ
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQbXIyNEs0D
不要說。不要聽。不要見。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtgRpqWoQV9
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ54M8Y3TdFY
希望時間會沖淡一切。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1J7LpAdadG
依稀記得畢業翌日在自家客廳梳化醒來的畫面。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡew1UhATPwu
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCjHd3WqZzR
首先映入眼簾的是極端的光與暗、黑與白——廳燈沒有亮起，窗外日光耀眼得刺痛，室內與室外亮度差異極大。眼睛無法於短時間內適應，煞是暈眩，有一股酸餿灼熱自胸腔冒升。想吐。沒法吐。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqhR7m7yzLL
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0aYqG6wceM
阿媽沒有理會我，背對我在廚房煲湯。她對著湯煲說：「昨晚是他送你回來。」527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCSZi7bmW2a
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvuNDpR3Idc
我敵不過暈眩與劇烈頭痛，重新軟癱梳化上。沒回話打算，反正阿媽定會繼續說下去。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp5wTyuMksv
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbw7t0llpjV
「我不明白你為何喜歡他。」527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoLi2uNFjSh
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsljistWa9z
「我也不明白。」527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhZ77CISYvW
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtmSaL2umlr
「那就不要繼續喜歡。」527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0rtmLp6EF7
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX6Bz19PTWZ
「感覺，並非可以自由控制的。」527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Z2Qyg0xBX
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlhtu7LxjX1
「我亦無法自由控制我的兒子喜歡誰。」527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9kv9bE0Lmf
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgDNtPyjsAA
「我也無法自由選擇誰是我的母親。」527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIm4Ch0iKiY
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCMR401fsf5
「真抱歉——未得你同意就把你生下來。」527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2OV904Uhw4
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAJrIvZcCac
「你該要對我感到抱歉。」527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡch0LWfhQwN
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9cnJV7q7rl
我晦氣，毫不掩飾對她的討厭。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcKYAIIPMgW
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0z96w97LYU
阿媽沒再多話，繼續在廚房忙著。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfuepd9buty
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHVA2pOKSbm
真要命。人生就是那麼多無謂紛擾。我的人生屬於我，為何旁人總愛插手？527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOKjr0PnWlD
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcpw5yJaHvG
抵著頭痛，我硬撐起身子小便去。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ747xQUScVP
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrPqR2l4xvb
在抽氣扇綿延不斷的摩打聲襯托下，小便聲清脆得噁心。噁感令我清醒不少，昨晚回憶開始隱約浮現。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlbxKFm8Ke7
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJPT4OhiWre
我似乎講過一些不該出口的話。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwTm9WQ56su
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ46moDYJewM
真的嗎？我真的把話說出口？527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlA030ENiMh
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBfhjZbLuYL
為何這麼驚訝？阿強醉倒後，我特意喝下更多酒，不就是為了把話講出口嗎？527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS6Sq3zR1De
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLnSBTPpOss
便意盡，醉意消，騰出來的腦空間被後悔和自責分佔了。我呆上半晌才提起褲子洗手去。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj0yZJDdFEn
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxukmFyVyVz
為何要走到這一步？527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1UNw99MoRL
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmxQHW1P6k9
阿強早已看出我對許家偉的感情，擔心我走上「歪路」。我有點兒生氣——誰有資格定義這是否歪路。阿強自知沒能說服我，乾脆將觀察所得告訴我媽。性格暴躁的阿媽一反常態，冷靜淡然勸我切勿繼續投放感情。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9CcX2himEm
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHLnTfKFoGP
「世人表裡不一。口說開明，實質守舊。」527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9MXEAhcnGV
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Jt8Mmb46W
「是嗎？你呢？你口說放棄，心底裡在支持我吧？」527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJzdFAGAemC
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWQ4PYSz2C9
「別倔強。」527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQL9Fpwpkwx
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRN6qWroEZk
「我想要知道你的真正想法！別敷衍！別蒙混！」527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡetrljk04ua
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWPW1kdqe94
「我想你放棄。」527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5LDhcxZXpp
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMw04hOA89f
「原因？」527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqhwK4PdOPD
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKplbpfkgvp
「現實終歸是現實的。你將要面對的困難並非單靠信念、希望和愛情就可以解決。」527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡht1YqGrMmS
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ9H4WjZcCZ
「我知道。」527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCBy1p0BHnZ
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0OBAKLez9L
「何解還要繼續下去？」527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAcpKczqJCc
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkc39QkBWWP
「感情易放難收。」527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8o3ILgNbfe
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYAD5rEzgNf
阿媽沒法回嘴——「感情」一詞明確否定了邏輯和理智，她還有何話可說，只得被動地待我回心轉意。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFHtuotkjUw
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpE5ZlTSNCT
傍晚，我約見阿強，在公園暗處與他打一架。我們手腫腳瘀，有如兒時被父母教訓一樣。看著彼此頹喪模樣，我既心痛亦生氣——我們的友誼不該淪落至此！我們該可以當一輩子兄弟手足！527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSx6bxPVMq4
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAOM3Hy0wgU
架後，我沒有留下片言隻字，待身體稍稍恢復後首先離開回家去，懶理阿強依然躺在草地上粗喘不已。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0lmslSkHoA
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqvg0pgqKmc
阿媽見我身上有傷，許是大概明白那是甚麼一回事，沒有多問，亦不予關心。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeUVXi4sxMH
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXIi9Jingur
我不在意，一心思考如何在畢業禮當晚向許家偉表白……527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡydToGhAYsk
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9HIE1xrcrd
畢業禮，是終結也是新開始。學生們穿戴整齊，戰戰兢兢上台領受證書。莘莘學子前途未卜，能夠掌握在手的只有當下。今朝有酒今朝醉，齊齊喝酒齊齊醉。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRIRidHrRY6
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6nV8Mdf0z0
阿強取來一支烈酒，邀我對飲：「追求真愛不是那麼容易。至少要比我更能喝。」527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBX8eyEsAw5
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbiDEH5Xb8C
我欣然接受。他很了解我，許是估計到我將會乘著酒意找許家偉表白去。我唯一擺脫阿強的方法就是先把他灌醉。我們都不是省油的燈，自小經常一起偷偷喝酒，十分清楚對方酒量和醉態——一旦倒下，沒有廿四小時可醒不過來。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJKbDLOcsxv
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9pbv4VKKar
小醉。半醉。大醉。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN24jlQ5IIE
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdqmN3rDrCR
阿強半伏枱邊，傻笑問我：「想好如何表白了沒？」527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjUP8QdRniQ
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡho4JpmIxp4
「直接講我愛他。」527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsYeqCMIW4g
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEV0jmmKBDA
「如果他拒絕？」527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9XBdgYe3DG
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsyrVr6O1dQ
「沒怎麼樣。就像我之前被女同學拒絕那樣。」527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMUSzwfKT9D
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBPnUVJuLbW
「如果他接受了？那怎麼辦？」527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEfPyb5BZUI
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDywVFPeiKZ
「我當然是高興！」527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgdWaWo7134
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg10Wawb51n
「我在問，他會怎麼辦？你認為他的內心強大得能夠與你共同面對往後一切？」527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5YAQfuDmfT
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8nGIMRwUXM
阿強問了一個我沒有想及的問題。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA2g7iZWAvA
事隔四十年，我和李浩榮在阿強的喪禮上再次聚頭。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaW4K49WGxQ
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvommhzlhlh
李浩榮說他在畢業禮後與阿強斷絕了聯絡。我為此道歉。他問我為何道歉。我重提他酒後那段說話。他反問我是否真的認為過錯在我。我答不肯定——我無心令他們鬧翻，但我確是他們鬧翻的原因。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3VV93IGIRL
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMLSCY0ZlTH
李浩榮苦笑，笑容意味深長。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA8W1xKTLis
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3PC7WiWCDM
「阿強沒講錯。你真懦弱。」527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTKdLFmuXk0
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRm5qDQ98VY
「活了那麼多年，經歷那麼多事情，我不得不承認自己的懦弱。」527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw7CVLp4NSJ
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡORbXSbYyU1
「你仍然單身？」527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWNy9MhQjj7
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwcdoB4qQLM
「是的。」527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSSDHw6ByOz
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbB8zm3mfDF
「要我當媒嗎？」527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpDM6bZfuVo
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1qgw7bFHly
「不了。難為情。」527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWICeETQ5j0
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvO3yGFKGU6
李浩榮失笑，笑我不值得被愛。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqIHbMYFHOi
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0AAACFfqzI
我陪笑，笑說我懂得珍愛自己就可以。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9N9ZUwBtZQ
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBJyuZzMuSj
多寒暄幾句，我和李浩榮相互道別，分道揚鑣不復見。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ78o7uHyZLL
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmuJgWm8yRG
抬頭望天，天陰雨冷，冷入心脾。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpJliyzRSXM
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg5eLRcx3kl
回家吧。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUI0Lbnhpfw
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1XzfmKmLWe
開門。門後空洞空虛空蕩蕩。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMQfzP7NIT9
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBdTHBKbgXK
「戚戚慘慘悽悽，清清冷冷，覓覓尋尋。」興之所至，我一邊脫鞋，一邊倒背《聲聲慢》首三句。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6sFxQK9f6c
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1DTmVEc83R
「尋他千百度，驀然回首，那人卻在燈火闌珊處。」沒有脫襪，懶洋洋得撲到梳化上，順口接上《青玉案．元夕》末句。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWZznf1rjlN
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeP3xBuRaeV
枕臂望窗，映入眼簾的是極端的光與暗、黑與白——廳燈沒有亮起，窗外日光耀眼得刺痛，室內與室外亮度差異極大。驀地憶起日光照在他臉營造出來的明暗，憶起他的臉容氣質，憶起那抹笑容。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡljeXwIm5hM
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbVNJEVNyFF
大概是一見鍾情吧。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaeEm7xwC0S
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZWUXNMCI8Q
奈何我當年愚鈍懵懂，後知後覺。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLGylPlzX8y
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡytsMf7MAJF
如果我當年及早清楚知道自己的意向，結果會否不一樣？527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQjFX1bs06E
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9CTJ7pA4vD
我笑自己想多了：結果會是一樣的。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNlZ84p06S2
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ80kVR9PfT1
我是懦弱的人，我珍愛自己，所以我不會為他人冒險。我寧願花上一輩子去幻想錯過了的美好愛情，亦不會勇敢踏前一步去追求愛情。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGSq6OBWywG
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcmIlOp2VlR
李浩榮說得沒錯，我不值得被愛。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxxb4V4Cx2f
事隔四十年，昔日摯友躺在棺材裡，往日心上人站在我面前。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqGk3vBUhSV
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvVPFphDpzE
百感交集……527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMCs0esm0gD
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKvm5Bz1Kmw
當年我為了許家偉與阿強鬧翻，事後亦沒敢聯絡許家偉。同時失去摯友和心上人，情感上的痛令我失眠了好幾年。那時候，還以為痛楚會一直維持下去，有如浪漫淒美感人的愛情電影情節。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb4UlLxgWbf
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHZSAYoDB9n
不過電影終究與現實不同：角色的難忘遭遇濃縮在短短一個半小時裡，情感故此顯得激烈而深刻；現實中的情感必須經過時間洗禮和加入許多愛情以外因素，例如家庭、工作、健康、個人財政等等。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9CEYcy1jKh
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnaE3dcOKzz
痛楚自然而然被淡化掉。我漸漸忘了阿強的忠肝義膽和許家偉的獨特魅力，直至今日再聚……527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy4Hy5IMNtc
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvs8Od31Co5
「認得我嗎？我是許家偉。」527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ88KePaUq0c
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcdiRzNkBZl
「認得。你是文班的。」527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6UaV07BAes
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs5cAC17Ins
許家偉淺笑，笑容如昔，淡然清雅溫婉。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwHljIXDYIx
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG3VK9hzSJr
閒聊之間，發現他仍然單身。究其原因，他只道難為情。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfIOJHilxDG
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy6PVOc51WM
「你不值得被愛。」我蔑笑。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9SsfG88g17
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfNTMycSTzG
四十年過去，許家偉仍是當初那個許家偉。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjSxRGlSuFG
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKDVj0vvMto
阿強沒講錯——他的內心不會強大得能夠與我共同面對一切。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMXTlgCuvhn
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTNYGUoJ5ft
「我懂得珍愛自己就可以。」許家偉笑著說。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWtTZIYmUOu
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlmkkQHTmIw
許家偉在認真？他真心認為這是珍愛自己的行徑？527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4zgEeTx1rm
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI3CYRUOtbN
我哭笑不得。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxyPusdxem5
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiiiZB8Lg7B
無意跟他繼續對話。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVak3Yj6sIL
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfBW3CNaOL0
多寒暄幾句，我和許家偉相互道別，分道揚鑣不復見。527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRvlFg25g3v
527Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSnraRHgMjv
抬頭望天，天陰雨冷，冷入心脾。
and then Add to home screen.