午餐用膳後，男生們大多會將多餘時間花在學校操場，或場上打籃球，或場外觀賽。我亦不例外，在場邊與同學輕聲討論打球技巧。忘形之際，一個籃球高速自後側飛來，狠狠砸中我右耳耳背。場中男生上前向我連聲道歉，我只道不要緊。男生拾球後繼續回場較勁，沒把事情放心上。當然，我也沒所謂，小事一椿。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhmcl0sXZ6t
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX75QG5oVCF
令我在意的反倒是球場另邊有個陌生男生對我微笑。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo3WPyrEBVk
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRXbptT4BsQ
匆匆一笑，半秒即逝。他轉頭跟身邊友人繼續說說笑笑。我挺肯定自己想多了——對方不是故意對著我笑，僅是他的站立姿勢及面向角度湊巧朝著我這邊來。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbRPrpYdrs3
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnxcAd0WOWh
但我還是記住了那抹笑容，記住了他的臉容氣質，記住日光照在他臉營造出來的明暗。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtcY0pYLv3P
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF179OQIVrV
為何記住？我解釋不了。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCFllaGQJ6j
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRTYZizuxPO
好幾個月過去，夏天轉換為冬。颯颯寒風成功減少場邊女生數目，男生仍然在此閒聊逛蕩。同行朋友忽爾興起，動身到場裡打球。我笑笑婉拒，說吃飽想睡不想動。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6mnpzKlsa5
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmEXdoDmAFH
我獨坐長椅一邊，納悶之際，兩個男生前來佔坐長椅另端空位。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDBmUvXf3oz
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcmkUmBg5br
其中一個是他。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡymN8vTjBHf
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTpKpVNuSx8
那笑那臉那明暗，歷歷在目。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB5KSUuweSp
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjRWlKx6ghe
心頭一顫，我馬上別過臉去。數秒後，我稍為冷靜，意識到自己的失態，佯裝無異，繼續觀看球賽。不過他似乎察覺我的異樣，有意無意對我展露笑容——一個意味深長的笑容。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb1KzISWZs8
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxgKOzypHtC
我尷尬離座回課室去。走樓梯至三樓時，他竟從後叫住我。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbQSS3yIfbc
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPQjcKoyyT8
「你遺下銀包。」812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5smUj3h3Ep
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbaOQnEfzAO
「謝謝。」812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE03I3oyunz
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVM0pM1MHdm
「不用客氣……」812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡggMNNTkYP6
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzI3vuCwsi7
奇怪。看他忸怩模樣，他似乎還有話要對我說。說甚麼？不是必須相識的陌生人可以如何打開話題？甚或是「為何要展開話題」？812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjTjQKAZy8z
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKPHpVWlu0T
氣氛尷尬，四目交投，卻不知如何是好。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCJUSqZqAIO
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1onlkycluJ
直至提著半滿水桶和微濕地拖的校工在我倆之間經過，彼此才回過神來，甚有默契同時分別從兩個方向離開。我往上，他往下。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQRYNQSlE0X
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡef1suVfcUd
誰料在午飯時間完結後，我們還是在五樓走廊再次碰面——原來我們都是中五生。由於班別不同、社交圈子不重疊，所以未曾正式認識。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfS7jVEjeCM
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT1BUUQh2He
不要緊。現在互相自我介紹就可以。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb71sImz7AT
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyCW1ePAu0Q
「我是文班許家偉。」812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9UV3IbhisE
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhYxa0k06lp
「我是理班李浩榮。」812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKauFzLJf7C
其實我早已知道許家偉。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTLfo0Xq2iZ
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDKJFBC7Aal
我心儀對象就是喜歡許家偉。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdv6Ovr6Mv1
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQsShK2Ak69
被拒絕的心情久久不散。我開始留意許家偉這個人。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzX1vZV9x2G
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvHxaqysH7w
拜託阿強向文班生打探有關許家偉的事。某文班生說許家偉無啥特別，亦無專長或短處，是個存在感不強的乖學生。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWRqDuq2RgM
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMl4cZYUCfs
我不明所以——為何心儀對象看上他？812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3f3lp1Wnon
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYsPRXu9aLw
不是認為心儀對象定要接受我或是對方必須比我優勝，只是我真的找不到許家偉有何可愛之處。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI4wTfKlC4m
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Ji3onSku0
不服氣。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCD7y67NN6i
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ50zjXHUzfV
繼續觀察他。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo4FbRpVee2
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1xdBi34zxm
匆匆數月，秋去冬來，我對許家偉好奇不減。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN0FyVCakcn
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2uwhTwck5d
某天午餐後，我和阿強發現許家偉獨坐操場長椅，於是立即齊齊上前佔據長椅另端，近距離觀察他。他似乎發現我們的奇異目光，動身離開。正感沒趣，阿強發現地上有一個銀包。查看內裡，看見許家偉的學生證。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOWqTkYpArs
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlWSPXDdufH
阿強建議取走內裡金錢和學生證，再將銀包交到校務處。我反對，擔心惹禍上身。阿強問我是否討厭許家偉。我無正面回應，僅是堅持物歸原主。阿強讓步，將銀包遞給我。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBie1qMb68R
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuhhKLwR8aA
我急步追趕許家偉。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWDslmepcal
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCOoHg7oPx0
不明白自己此刻行為。正如阿強所問，我不是討厭許家偉嗎？人前，我一直表達對許家偉的討厭；人後，我曾多次理性分析過自己有沒有討厭他的實質理由。沒有，尤其在我對心儀對象忘情以後。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDxerwSb3fZ
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDRal05GUmf
奈何留意許家偉經已成為我的習慣。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvtchgacA6Q
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWNsCkMR4gM
遠遠看見他的身影，我自然而然打起十二分精神；聽到心儀對象與好友聊天時提及許家偉，我對他的好奇大於對心儀對象的；走經中五級壁報板，會不經意試找許家偉的名字……812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHlYCdMESy8
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYxXCojyWqf
「你遺下了銀包。」812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEqsXPkjHU8
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR13tHbdVvS
「謝謝。」812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC0O7hwT1y3
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOJDADgaKfm
「不用客氣……」812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYmKJIxiL6S
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs58wDd7bmS
經已物歸原主。他道謝，我虛應，然後該是沒有然後。但我們還是愣在原地。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUNX77eeemg
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7htEMjloA0
該要說甚麼？還需要說甚麼？沒有啊！但我們還是原地愣著。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCEHK7RVHNc
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfaPbCtiCHA
他是否一早知道我？他是否早已察覺我在留意他？不會吧……812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIglL9357e9
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN4Rviadtdt
我望入他雙眼。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGRR2PGgn7o
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTZW5HTWMW1
不。我鐵定他不認識我。他的眼神迷惘疑惑忐忑，似乎在期待甚麼……812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6JBAQE1Pde
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWnJvtQpEHb
一名校工在我和許家偉之間走過。我在視線被阻擋當刻回過神來，低頭轉身離開。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRGgi7S4EJs
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1pKSiSecev
我回到操場側長椅。阿強仍在，問我有否教訓許家偉一頓。我苦笑罵他發神經。阿強收起笑容，認真勸我別壓抑情緒。我說理解許家偉是無辜的，不會繼續討厭他。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJhY5Xl3NaD
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLeJE6nAZLR
上課鈴聲響起，學生魚貫回課室去。人群中，我在五樓走廊與許家偉迎個正著。他驚訝之情洋溢於表。我反倒開懷笑了，笑他遲鈍，後知後覺。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1IVZ5DWqz5
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSbIfaJsMzx
許家偉臉紅，禮貌地點點頭，上前自我介紹。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYCpU7kN96y
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVrIZaukdJs
「我是文班許家偉。」812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsT3N6Tih9O
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ051aT1LGb3
「我是理班李浩榮。」812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuuZbZVuce3
畢業多年，我跟李浩榮從未聯絡過——當我這麼講，舊生聚會上人人皆表出乎意料：「你們當年那麼要好，竟然未曾聯絡一次？」812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Ce99utmxS
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVO20sjC49O
我笑笑點頭，不多解釋。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkI4BK2Uv4k
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZIdI5ldWZC
畢業禮當晚，他告訴我，他的心儀對象喜歡我。我問他那女生是誰，我可以當面拒絕她。他說不必，因為他已不愛他。我感到奇怪：如已釋懷，為何重提。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiUBJE5LR6z
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKpVgtaGpUk
李浩榮笑笑，笑說他已覺悟，明白人的真正作用。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ILO5d41qs
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOrRGhFHOKT
聽到這莫名其妙的答案，我就知道他醉了——他喝下很多酒。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC1fr5xlqjt
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1eYQm76G4O
他說人的真正作用就是將另外兩個不相識的人串連在一起，或是把深交的兩個人分開，例如那女生無意間將我帶到他的人生當中，而我又無意間成為他和青梅竹馬鬧翻原因。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbafYYcMEN6
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6nW63274GQ
我大概聽出話裡的話。有點難過，有點無奈，有點害怕——害怕今晚坦白心聲以後，我和李浩榮再無交集。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡszADtmvKuh
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdmi4GyxF8P
但我沒有阻止他。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYkuJGJuuD8
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhx6x5sACDT
他壓抑已久，情感需要釋放。這很可能是我以朋友身份給他的最後禮物。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRAZ2Crbggm
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdculCu8y0e
我慫恿他繼續說下去。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4YLsWGJzae
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYNi6JoDWWl
他跟阿強相識於幼稚園。他倆都是頑皮孩子，經常氣得老師向父母投訴，父母夜裡就來一頓痛打。他們經常看到對方手腫腳瘀，起初會擔心對方身體，後來發現彼此不怕捱打，只怕玩得不痛快。相顧輕笑，再玩再捱打……玩著捱著，二人同甘共苦十四年，彼此之間有一種難以言喻的默契——只有阿強看出他非但未曾討厭我，反倒羨慕我的不起眼。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHLeBsvvI60
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNK1EhxYxfR
我好奇李浩榮何解會羨慕不起眼的人。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjtT0aKZ727
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡutry1UM2de
「不被注意、不被期望，方能活得自由稱心。」812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiBifXMjTmy
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ40DeQWn5FT
我問他是否有煩惱，可以向我傾訴，也許我能想出好辦法。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsKSn2SytFj
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIE2SQteRCS
李浩榮報以苦笑，沒有正面回答。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIXRmBhFNun
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbQLN7PZs6c
那夜，他喝得爛醉，我送他回家。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbM0nW9NEOf
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMxWuoScDO9
伯母應門。是個凶神惡煞的中年婦，語調急促，不帶尾音。她接過李浩榮，留下一句道謝，利落關門。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTDT50VTcUz
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH5XzfCBS11
門關。心頭若有所失——感覺永遠不會再見到李浩榮。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUpIQ2TSDMh
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHd8xJ0r3bk
其實沒甚麼大不了。這是人生必經的離合過程。不會令我受到任何傷害，亦不會令我蒙受任何損失。著實沒甚麼大不了。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyScS9AoDXv
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6jWoUkBsD3
但我掛念他。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqkMIdDHGvK
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCViVv1a5AL
不是偶然想起，不是遇上麻煩、需要向他求助，不是看見眼熟物件進而聯想。沒錯，是真正的掛念——我無法自欺。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzI4LCGXZwL
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡebzxEScAU1
想起他，我不期然會笑；想起他，我感覺窩心；想起他，我會自覺孤單可憐。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxOR0Mqrldj
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj5fgxqdZyF
我漸漸意識到這是甚麼一回事。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGv06h4UkZj
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSrcVsPAcCh
糟糕了！怎麼辦？怎麼辦！不知道。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡilCBmi8KMJ
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ95aHSmchBr
不要說。不要聽。不要見。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB17q2zy1PA
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdXxIhJ897K
希望時間會沖淡一切。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKvMkmWRx0C
依稀記得畢業翌日在自家客廳梳化醒來的畫面。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAScSMiMu6k
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGkZ2BmlfFr
首先映入眼簾的是極端的光與暗、黑與白——廳燈沒有亮起，窗外日光耀眼得刺痛，室內與室外亮度差異極大。眼睛無法於短時間內適應，煞是暈眩，有一股酸餿灼熱自胸腔冒升。想吐。沒法吐。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPyTt1LJEIU
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpSRPu6Be9y
阿媽沒有理會我，背對我在廚房煲湯。她對著湯煲說：「昨晚是他送你回來。」812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4prSMoGze9
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6xVeyp6EOR
我敵不過暈眩與劇烈頭痛，重新軟癱梳化上。沒回話打算，反正阿媽定會繼續說下去。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHkDXeEbiM6
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxI9PRMJ9FK
「我不明白你為何喜歡他。」812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE1pgLCG6Ed
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRil5YYsUfK
「我也不明白。」812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHGmPTBeHS6
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRLyPjpdNdn
「那就不要繼續喜歡。」812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3NmwESkM7g
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUuP5rgRVMU
「感覺，並非可以自由控制的。」812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwFFMFR3XUI
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6tktBA845y
「我亦無法自由控制我的兒子喜歡誰。」812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Jead7ys4g
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2W2xhXRYd3
「我也無法自由選擇誰是我的母親。」812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk5KeCHOGEF
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBaw1cIivFo
「真抱歉——未得你同意就把你生下來。」812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ58gT9AZ4Ug
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAITrO6MWAd
「你該要對我感到抱歉。」812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoqIbn1MaoQ
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwVWvIAvxuy
我晦氣，毫不掩飾對她的討厭。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMi8VHQOFyF
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5F9NHys9dI
阿媽沒再多話，繼續在廚房忙著。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgBZDD2r2zT
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Gc5VGjvzl
真要命。人生就是那麼多無謂紛擾。我的人生屬於我，為何旁人總愛插手？812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC3eTMGWpie
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj9CPGh8WaI
抵著頭痛，我硬撐起身子小便去。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvnrR2Qn6eP
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv4xhjyd0I9
在抽氣扇綿延不斷的摩打聲襯托下，小便聲清脆得噁心。噁感令我清醒不少，昨晚回憶開始隱約浮現。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4KVyrv0AV2
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlOLCdp0Xvr
我似乎講過一些不該出口的話。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW6Qvdur55d
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ9v7sxN7Ia
真的嗎？我真的把話說出口？812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwrmWn3XjC0
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpRH8TWtM3Z
為何這麼驚訝？阿強醉倒後，我特意喝下更多酒，不就是為了把話講出口嗎？812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtNobhIt4Sg
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfbMP6x6j4j
便意盡，醉意消，騰出來的腦空間被後悔和自責分佔了。我呆上半晌才提起褲子洗手去。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhZMeHZujvY
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrJcwUoQx2D
為何要走到這一步？812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Gw8e6OuHy
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqNZFkiEsZS
阿強早已看出我對許家偉的感情，擔心我走上「歪路」。我有點兒生氣——誰有資格定義這是否歪路。阿強自知沒能說服我，乾脆將觀察所得告訴我媽。性格暴躁的阿媽一反常態，冷靜淡然勸我切勿繼續投放感情。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2paftjOplP
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDMQjZI5yJj
「世人表裡不一。口說開明，實質守舊。」812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWgIAKJ8STz
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmn1mJRfmGF
「是嗎？你呢？你口說放棄，心底裡在支持我吧？」812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5NYHC7UKno
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJb8wHqUXqD
「別倔強。」812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyaLiqGVjXr
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp04MIWYSLz
「我想要知道你的真正想法！別敷衍！別蒙混！」812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡazQae4BmnA
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN0BdLZeO3U
「我想你放棄。」812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSoMwaFTmdV
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuNO5uKcdJW
「原因？」812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBZqxdVAatC
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9PFKklIktd
「現實終歸是現實的。你將要面對的困難並非單靠信念、希望和愛情就可以解決。」812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwpfq5E9WHm
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKJ41cTsUEL
「我知道。」812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzUX9AsUPNf
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOuyK60UGIx
「何解還要繼續下去？」812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuFyP62HPqc
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2cMaZXBuei
「感情易放難收。」812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOk9Fy9dP0G
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqe2fih8sjp
阿媽沒法回嘴——「感情」一詞明確否定了邏輯和理智，她還有何話可說，只得被動地待我回心轉意。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyoGhqSa1fy
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkQZbvODfdC
傍晚，我約見阿強，在公園暗處與他打一架。我們手腫腳瘀，有如兒時被父母教訓一樣。看著彼此頹喪模樣，我既心痛亦生氣——我們的友誼不該淪落至此！我們該可以當一輩子兄弟手足！812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTiUXTGJd1b
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGB8Wex6u8o
架後，我沒有留下片言隻字，待身體稍稍恢復後首先離開回家去，懶理阿強依然躺在草地上粗喘不已。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqtD2S7i1Az
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDd8u6k6aEs
阿媽見我身上有傷，許是大概明白那是甚麼一回事，沒有多問，亦不予關心。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5OsuzHDuJR
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEFQFCN57V0
我不在意，一心思考如何在畢業禮當晚向許家偉表白……812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0yhSKcVsT0
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ50mEFtHfQ3
畢業禮，是終結也是新開始。學生們穿戴整齊，戰戰兢兢上台領受證書。莘莘學子前途未卜，能夠掌握在手的只有當下。今朝有酒今朝醉，齊齊喝酒齊齊醉。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvntcZUQCdM
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVjctAKAtj4
阿強取來一支烈酒，邀我對飲：「追求真愛不是那麼容易。至少要比我更能喝。」812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyOHwEuUO62
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqrhGlehlJ3
我欣然接受。他很了解我，許是估計到我將會乘著酒意找許家偉表白去。我唯一擺脫阿強的方法就是先把他灌醉。我們都不是省油的燈，自小經常一起偷偷喝酒，十分清楚對方酒量和醉態——一旦倒下，沒有廿四小時可醒不過來。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNQDIMGFtsd
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQWLUCutb7T
小醉。半醉。大醉。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQutpuvOCwu
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmvbJ5NljWP
阿強半伏枱邊，傻笑問我：「想好如何表白了沒？」812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEX5GPmkGMO
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw5xcC5tGNm
「直接講我愛他。」812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7uEfj5b5VA
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKJN5QuUozF
「如果他拒絕？」812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnlFAfomjkL
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQojTVY9TYS
「沒怎麼樣。就像我之前被女同學拒絕那樣。」812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyaO5oqlqkX
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBlJqPgqcDy
「如果他接受了？那怎麼辦？」812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeWuTzlmdjQ
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbyxQCyl6dE
「我當然是高興！」812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNWqFfNPQFY
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi4nftWlAo6
「我在問，他會怎麼辦？你認為他的內心強大得能夠與你共同面對往後一切？」812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2o2WT3xvcW
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLXsSYJQuRr
阿強問了一個我沒有想及的問題。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLxEMX0QV72
事隔四十年，我和李浩榮在阿強的喪禮上再次聚頭。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtLCCbdGIRQ
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTduz6vk62r
李浩榮說他在畢業禮後與阿強斷絕了聯絡。我為此道歉。他問我為何道歉。我重提他酒後那段說話。他反問我是否真的認為過錯在我。我答不肯定——我無心令他們鬧翻，但我確是他們鬧翻的原因。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfMpChIR5WI
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDJpLSkCAUV
李浩榮苦笑，笑容意味深長。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgaCl88gMOr
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwRjf5lxJ6q
「阿強沒講錯。你真懦弱。」812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPJyUpOpQ5n
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn2J62F9F2Z
「活了那麼多年，經歷那麼多事情，我不得不承認自己的懦弱。」812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡylTbk632Sc
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAPip1ml1xX
「你仍然單身？」812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj1Hkj2fyBq
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2MASVz4hfL
「是的。」812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY7DZyE2aJJ
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUBSjLZUdZQ
「要我當媒嗎？」812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjZKoQV7Nqi
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0aF4XskN2V
「不了。難為情。」812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyZm6AG1Wk6
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwQ3GG8zDY0
李浩榮失笑，笑我不值得被愛。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQetnY13rKW
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKrETYqN33v
我陪笑，笑說我懂得珍愛自己就可以。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtp7sZYxdWE
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ4ZG7SPzuy
多寒暄幾句，我和李浩榮相互道別，分道揚鑣不復見。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbVWZ9N60hy
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc5yskVxIY5
抬頭望天，天陰雨冷，冷入心脾。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk7pfOQ6nVK
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF1S0RoYmZj
回家吧。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZxENK929qA
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg1zOwgBDbC
開門。門後空洞空虛空蕩蕩。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP2JVASSPvc
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoXumYBlHLP
「戚戚慘慘悽悽，清清冷冷，覓覓尋尋。」興之所至，我一邊脫鞋，一邊倒背《聲聲慢》首三句。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcoyDjoT3pD
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdg6YyYQN7h
「尋他千百度，驀然回首，那人卻在燈火闌珊處。」沒有脫襪，懶洋洋得撲到梳化上，順口接上《青玉案．元夕》末句。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYY4GvMXnEh
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuB8Iyov3nB
枕臂望窗，映入眼簾的是極端的光與暗、黑與白——廳燈沒有亮起，窗外日光耀眼得刺痛，室內與室外亮度差異極大。驀地憶起日光照在他臉營造出來的明暗，憶起他的臉容氣質，憶起那抹笑容。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMa0E1Nepvo
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB5c0lXUAmx
大概是一見鍾情吧。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ63HKkDmMbD
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSh36uNd0zf
奈何我當年愚鈍懵懂，後知後覺。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbS72OioJ3O
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGOG0cqHos8
如果我當年及早清楚知道自己的意向，結果會否不一樣？812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX2yDA5Hyka
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBrjgsEtfFb
我笑自己想多了：結果會是一樣的。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqr0CgUieLj
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHYdP17XKWD
我是懦弱的人，我珍愛自己，所以我不會為他人冒險。我寧願花上一輩子去幻想錯過了的美好愛情，亦不會勇敢踏前一步去追求愛情。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgwGLAWOF22
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiWIfCN13Zm
李浩榮說得沒錯，我不值得被愛。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbQAYVXqhWc
事隔四十年，昔日摯友躺在棺材裡，往日心上人站在我面前。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd0QIoaDf8J
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡErXpKvXDQv
百感交集……812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ2NsMzrwY0
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnZvHh8kxhW
當年我為了許家偉與阿強鬧翻，事後亦沒敢聯絡許家偉。同時失去摯友和心上人，情感上的痛令我失眠了好幾年。那時候，還以為痛楚會一直維持下去，有如浪漫淒美感人的愛情電影情節。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3TJ8SY26KU
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeeAqKQ2rfA
不過電影終究與現實不同：角色的難忘遭遇濃縮在短短一個半小時裡，情感故此顯得激烈而深刻；現實中的情感必須經過時間洗禮和加入許多愛情以外因素，例如家庭、工作、健康、個人財政等等。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR5hbaxZsN6
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgq0R39JVD2
痛楚自然而然被淡化掉。我漸漸忘了阿強的忠肝義膽和許家偉的獨特魅力，直至今日再聚……812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfUIU2LB18Z
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcHTKkRznFW
「認得我嗎？我是許家偉。」812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmcx5ESQhuA
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfrWCV1JCXb
「認得。你是文班的。」812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP9g4HojnhG
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEAeKk7X4pd
許家偉淺笑，笑容如昔，淡然清雅溫婉。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZqF76F8t8d
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpFw5zQ1qnr
閒聊之間，發現他仍然單身。究其原因，他只道難為情。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkriSRN571J
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCydzpisWND
「你不值得被愛。」我蔑笑。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK3gEbtvc6A
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpZXvszpaHp
四十年過去，許家偉仍是當初那個許家偉。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvA6TNv9xtT
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7hrAgG4xgu
阿強沒講錯——他的內心不會強大得能夠與我共同面對一切。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj7Sjmjr8go
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrDK6pmAN6j
「我懂得珍愛自己就可以。」許家偉笑著說。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnZy0wSAG9K
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm7oml1PV4j
許家偉在認真？他真心認為這是珍愛自己的行徑？812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyUnJkKoHK7
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbhxRKa0go4
我哭笑不得。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy8xPmNesAJ
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKBwxp4kTwR
無意跟他繼續對話。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJZGfOt69TZ
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTLLiR8yWjo
多寒暄幾句，我和許家偉相互道別，分道揚鑣不復見。812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1RQlG8xPeU
812Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw3kwIjuvML
抬頭望天，天陰雨冷，冷入心脾。
and then Add to home screen.