午餐用膳後，男生們大多會將多餘時間花在學校操場，或場上打籃球，或場外觀賽。我亦不例外，在場邊與同學輕聲討論打球技巧。忘形之際，一個籃球高速自後側飛來，狠狠砸中我右耳耳背。場中男生上前向我連聲道歉，我只道不要緊。男生拾球後繼續回場較勁，沒把事情放心上。當然，我也沒所謂，小事一椿。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9klQWlt5e2
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH5dajWLk72
令我在意的反倒是球場另邊有個陌生男生對我微笑。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzlSxLdZv7B
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVOahorHHAC
匆匆一笑，半秒即逝。他轉頭跟身邊友人繼續說說笑笑。我挺肯定自己想多了——對方不是故意對著我笑，僅是他的站立姿勢及面向角度湊巧朝著我這邊來。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnzWotgNTGs
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTX1YihFBC2
但我還是記住了那抹笑容，記住了他的臉容氣質，記住日光照在他臉營造出來的明暗。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHxAbkQKHZ2
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFBrUssGeH3
為何記住？我解釋不了。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvuduvHwFXV
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu4cCC3gwH0
好幾個月過去，夏天轉換為冬。颯颯寒風成功減少場邊女生數目，男生仍然在此閒聊逛蕩。同行朋友忽爾興起，動身到場裡打球。我笑笑婉拒，說吃飽想睡不想動。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG7dR6GxxeF
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLAANKmUDYF
我獨坐長椅一邊，納悶之際，兩個男生前來佔坐長椅另端空位。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡniYnKSLH1G
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC7XfbRb1qz
其中一個是他。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFJJVzkghqy
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeE7FqRbrD3
那笑那臉那明暗，歷歷在目。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAxVBW5iL58
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE5DaDYXA5X
心頭一顫，我馬上別過臉去。數秒後，我稍為冷靜，意識到自己的失態，佯裝無異，繼續觀看球賽。不過他似乎察覺我的異樣，有意無意對我展露笑容——一個意味深長的笑容。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh7cLgHlHDI
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ9AwQnOZ0g
我尷尬離座回課室去。走樓梯至三樓時，他竟從後叫住我。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9zNntvWgRk
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7x0UrtPMuK
「你遺下銀包。」481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrs4uuOzcGp
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNO4K153eXG
「謝謝。」481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfY26XnWQur
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡco19N9qIuB
「不用客氣……」481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvDSMwESsTM
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeONhKR7K97
奇怪。看他忸怩模樣，他似乎還有話要對我說。說甚麼？不是必須相識的陌生人可以如何打開話題？甚或是「為何要展開話題」？481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBxGkVkIQ6A
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAa3j1xhhlA
氣氛尷尬，四目交投，卻不知如何是好。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd6WqkfMXRh
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqrPUssghuE
直至提著半滿水桶和微濕地拖的校工在我倆之間經過，彼此才回過神來，甚有默契同時分別從兩個方向離開。我往上，他往下。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcu6PGdbZvp
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlMkFuoMDjd
誰料在午飯時間完結後，我們還是在五樓走廊再次碰面——原來我們都是中五生。由於班別不同、社交圈子不重疊，所以未曾正式認識。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyiykGM7Smv
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQeOV0wAcc9
不要緊。現在互相自我介紹就可以。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlojmmxF6nV
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL5y7tXbRs4
「我是文班許家偉。」481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ50KWA0jsz2
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRuanj51jzL
「我是理班李浩榮。」481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBy9nZCbDDl
其實我早已知道許家偉。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXXauBdC5pv
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIdPcSfZdC7
我心儀對象就是喜歡許家偉。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ESzi9642B
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvOhCaK9au9
被拒絕的心情久久不散。我開始留意許家偉這個人。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVYGrNEgFgL
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3rxSelcWX1
拜託阿強向文班生打探有關許家偉的事。某文班生說許家偉無啥特別，亦無專長或短處，是個存在感不強的乖學生。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHWzOYzNRfb
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMFKuB73nD3
我不明所以——為何心儀對象看上他？481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ74ZSk7wB6
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2hWZPgOj4z
不是認為心儀對象定要接受我或是對方必須比我優勝，只是我真的找不到許家偉有何可愛之處。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAAQVu4rc5k
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡES6XfyQvTN
不服氣。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcM2T38qrWf
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMrXMHfiZiv
繼續觀察他。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUhz55i9PNr
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtVwLwB35Fk
匆匆數月，秋去冬來，我對許家偉好奇不減。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyuxatNZO8r
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl1wlcI8slz
某天午餐後，我和阿強發現許家偉獨坐操場長椅，於是立即齊齊上前佔據長椅另端，近距離觀察他。他似乎發現我們的奇異目光，動身離開。正感沒趣，阿強發現地上有一個銀包。查看內裡，看見許家偉的學生證。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdjOlzED21x
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfvEIetEmjz
阿強建議取走內裡金錢和學生證，再將銀包交到校務處。我反對，擔心惹禍上身。阿強問我是否討厭許家偉。我無正面回應，僅是堅持物歸原主。阿強讓步，將銀包遞給我。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkG8mrgBkd3
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNITZS2mfQG
我急步追趕許家偉。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7oyeuzqyZ8
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhvjFnXYNA7
不明白自己此刻行為。正如阿強所問，我不是討厭許家偉嗎？人前，我一直表達對許家偉的討厭；人後，我曾多次理性分析過自己有沒有討厭他的實質理由。沒有，尤其在我對心儀對象忘情以後。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWxN5NKB8bK
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF7BKJTjKhp
奈何留意許家偉經已成為我的習慣。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZTM77xPcrN
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Y6IdKQBz7
遠遠看見他的身影，我自然而然打起十二分精神；聽到心儀對象與好友聊天時提及許家偉，我對他的好奇大於對心儀對象的；走經中五級壁報板，會不經意試找許家偉的名字……481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ295BT5ac4T
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeSpVfHavPD
「你遺下了銀包。」481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmuNTcwnw7L
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtzxPiaJILN
「謝謝。」481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXwjXVQa58N
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbVnDj9za7o
「不用客氣……」481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGhwjREjNQv
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhDwvKjMFID
經已物歸原主。他道謝，我虛應，然後該是沒有然後。但我們還是愣在原地。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ91RMFrIpN3
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡewSTJPnOEx
該要說甚麼？還需要說甚麼？沒有啊！但我們還是原地愣著。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp4b0XOumxd
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf2k585h7Yp
他是否一早知道我？他是否早已察覺我在留意他？不會吧……481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8boI7sRYpK
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLnTkqUY2MP
我望入他雙眼。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfLokaLCZoN
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk7pIrgRTnX
不。我鐵定他不認識我。他的眼神迷惘疑惑忐忑，似乎在期待甚麼……481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡroQttCevSW
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsVc4B0Bi5t
一名校工在我和許家偉之間走過。我在視線被阻擋當刻回過神來，低頭轉身離開。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK5ZEmBrZzl
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtQxavorQRd
我回到操場側長椅。阿強仍在，問我有否教訓許家偉一頓。我苦笑罵他發神經。阿強收起笑容，認真勸我別壓抑情緒。我說理解許家偉是無辜的，不會繼續討厭他。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLMYvssYzGI
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡycW1F5GF4L
上課鈴聲響起，學生魚貫回課室去。人群中，我在五樓走廊與許家偉迎個正著。他驚訝之情洋溢於表。我反倒開懷笑了，笑他遲鈍，後知後覺。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDDzPh8kGPB
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0mbL6KKskq
許家偉臉紅，禮貌地點點頭，上前自我介紹。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡofmmC9BH0o
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbkFK8lyjDZ
「我是文班許家偉。」481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbrl4AVOwhG
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeBvM5Cfbam
「我是理班李浩榮。」481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcNzEWUtq3y
畢業多年，我跟李浩榮從未聯絡過——當我這麼講，舊生聚會上人人皆表出乎意料：「你們當年那麼要好，竟然未曾聯絡一次？」481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGokWtjQxF8
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIHWkSHaI0o
我笑笑點頭，不多解釋。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIrWSTMTHdA
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1IIYnJL2cV
畢業禮當晚，他告訴我，他的心儀對象喜歡我。我問他那女生是誰，我可以當面拒絕她。他說不必，因為他已不愛他。我感到奇怪：如已釋懷，為何重提。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGlO00gBO4U
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVjnzaiSzqu
李浩榮笑笑，笑說他已覺悟，明白人的真正作用。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmjV3TpeJT4
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmCwBY8kgaR
聽到這莫名其妙的答案，我就知道他醉了——他喝下很多酒。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhtS4ZpzZ8S
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvtSjq6HGXz
他說人的真正作用就是將另外兩個不相識的人串連在一起，或是把深交的兩個人分開，例如那女生無意間將我帶到他的人生當中，而我又無意間成為他和青梅竹馬鬧翻原因。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6elV0ZcpYo
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡygPpxBm5Bd
我大概聽出話裡的話。有點難過，有點無奈，有點害怕——害怕今晚坦白心聲以後，我和李浩榮再無交集。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ifxbndi8e
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmerAu10zQR
但我沒有阻止他。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRYcVSpsWop
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7wPOCyuFMD
他壓抑已久，情感需要釋放。這很可能是我以朋友身份給他的最後禮物。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcvC2YXSyo2
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7kRIMoN8EU
我慫恿他繼續說下去。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx8MF4Ry39q
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZD5eHNPuVi
他跟阿強相識於幼稚園。他倆都是頑皮孩子，經常氣得老師向父母投訴，父母夜裡就來一頓痛打。他們經常看到對方手腫腳瘀，起初會擔心對方身體，後來發現彼此不怕捱打，只怕玩得不痛快。相顧輕笑，再玩再捱打……玩著捱著，二人同甘共苦十四年，彼此之間有一種難以言喻的默契——只有阿強看出他非但未曾討厭我，反倒羨慕我的不起眼。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUz8SE6Mvou
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkCkm7556yH
我好奇李浩榮何解會羨慕不起眼的人。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvIMTSgHlmz
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwvUoXkzLAB
「不被注意、不被期望，方能活得自由稱心。」481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTb3p7cHsOt
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7hpPvgh6LD
我問他是否有煩惱，可以向我傾訴，也許我能想出好辦法。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNaw4NujYiA
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJt6lpZgf3L
李浩榮報以苦笑，沒有正面回答。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqdqEdVL5Ji
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPPY71OrpWv
那夜，他喝得爛醉，我送他回家。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6r5CSjJh63
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKGi85yuW8x
伯母應門。是個凶神惡煞的中年婦，語調急促，不帶尾音。她接過李浩榮，留下一句道謝，利落關門。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡovNZyDm67Y
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC57Lo6rZQ5
門關。心頭若有所失——感覺永遠不會再見到李浩榮。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVe5v8kN9hx
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIMWaV6BF9s
其實沒甚麼大不了。這是人生必經的離合過程。不會令我受到任何傷害，亦不會令我蒙受任何損失。著實沒甚麼大不了。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLaA1689GVW
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzp0TutizJd
但我掛念他。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOzFQs7BOO2
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfEBFczrU00
不是偶然想起，不是遇上麻煩、需要向他求助，不是看見眼熟物件進而聯想。沒錯，是真正的掛念——我無法自欺。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBSS7UfGUJh
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjX8hbXMnPq
想起他，我不期然會笑；想起他，我感覺窩心；想起他，我會自覺孤單可憐。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIJ9iDCDSbs
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdKDGefAdN8
我漸漸意識到這是甚麼一回事。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnLw9T0UIwO
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHOswlLnPSA
糟糕了！怎麼辦？怎麼辦！不知道。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA5xJyugCjN
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwRNbBWfMTf
不要說。不要聽。不要見。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJaDh1JAnyq
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFB4hMHZ7QG
希望時間會沖淡一切。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXktUwNUKq4
依稀記得畢業翌日在自家客廳梳化醒來的畫面。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSOVrzs2vl3
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyaRo1odrMp
首先映入眼簾的是極端的光與暗、黑與白——廳燈沒有亮起，窗外日光耀眼得刺痛，室內與室外亮度差異極大。眼睛無法於短時間內適應，煞是暈眩，有一股酸餿灼熱自胸腔冒升。想吐。沒法吐。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjQD3iDUnMK
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0RmRiBkPFG
阿媽沒有理會我，背對我在廚房煲湯。她對著湯煲說：「昨晚是他送你回來。」481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVgdzUFmmbL
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaRAFzxFvz7
我敵不過暈眩與劇烈頭痛，重新軟癱梳化上。沒回話打算，反正阿媽定會繼續說下去。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvPNUx4hPcG
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXz91iXjfwQ
「我不明白你為何喜歡他。」481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡulHmooWgWl
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7uMtXW6gQF
「我也不明白。」481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMZHqqr802M
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKuQ7KBgDPE
「那就不要繼續喜歡。」481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOSlYwkkGcH
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5bpxWYbE9h
「感覺，並非可以自由控制的。」481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡceOwd0SXEr
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3essO7DhBC
「我亦無法自由控制我的兒子喜歡誰。」481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZmP7tcnv2J
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrKsVSKSJ3J
「我也無法自由選擇誰是我的母親。」481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2B01GZFKCJ
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjRIfYgHqv6
「真抱歉——未得你同意就把你生下來。」481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXADhmKiFku
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡupYAbqTMEZ
「你該要對我感到抱歉。」481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZLHss3Fx20
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhtMBrE1U12
我晦氣，毫不掩飾對她的討厭。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB3IfgXnYEA
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFExAewRs5o
阿媽沒再多話，繼續在廚房忙著。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcZ22M7wC6b
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGx3L06JzYR
真要命。人生就是那麼多無謂紛擾。我的人生屬於我，為何旁人總愛插手？481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAGHbV4UuOH
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbOMT1aXOoq
抵著頭痛，我硬撐起身子小便去。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiieAkC454U
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhs0PpzbxsJ
在抽氣扇綿延不斷的摩打聲襯托下，小便聲清脆得噁心。噁感令我清醒不少，昨晚回憶開始隱約浮現。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS6QOomoCBE
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiBuB7ZBKnn
我似乎講過一些不該出口的話。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKgcBvUopaQ
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXdgl4IrsaP
真的嗎？我真的把話說出口？481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYx6uro3xIE
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS78NC7BbCT
為何這麼驚訝？阿強醉倒後，我特意喝下更多酒，不就是為了把話講出口嗎？481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8dNvyvP9yL
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc9v3n2ORXJ
便意盡，醉意消，騰出來的腦空間被後悔和自責分佔了。我呆上半晌才提起褲子洗手去。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLpydiazVci
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Nx8Kjpmci
為何要走到這一步？481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyTvDAs707K
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxYEUgerXhD
阿強早已看出我對許家偉的感情，擔心我走上「歪路」。我有點兒生氣——誰有資格定義這是否歪路。阿強自知沒能說服我，乾脆將觀察所得告訴我媽。性格暴躁的阿媽一反常態，冷靜淡然勸我切勿繼續投放感情。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI5raSVK8nl
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe7eoRNckDM
「世人表裡不一。口說開明，實質守舊。」481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡONT8c3KAvu
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzciJOyCoto
「是嗎？你呢？你口說放棄，心底裡在支持我吧？」481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJlOnGhlmIu
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsaSsXsmbfc
「別倔強。」481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNFkQsq7t1B
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe0ec9d2AQq
「我想要知道你的真正想法！別敷衍！別蒙混！」481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLVkqCpa6K8
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Jo4z5FP99
「我想你放棄。」481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwCriedIh5s
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLfop6XABGk
「原因？」481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7cGlXZEBwc
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9dYAS5vb10
「現實終歸是現實的。你將要面對的困難並非單靠信念、希望和愛情就可以解決。」481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtY4ZsA4ZTk
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ60WJQfhGL7
「我知道。」481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGccpwr3BVK
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiHU6OkiLi8
「何解還要繼續下去？」481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkU4oerBCX4
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTo4pmFBehP
「感情易放難收。」481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuWAEC3fVUQ
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAfg8RSmEd8
阿媽沒法回嘴——「感情」一詞明確否定了邏輯和理智，她還有何話可說，只得被動地待我回心轉意。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5NsIHduJN7
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2qwBUpags3
傍晚，我約見阿強，在公園暗處與他打一架。我們手腫腳瘀，有如兒時被父母教訓一樣。看著彼此頹喪模樣，我既心痛亦生氣——我們的友誼不該淪落至此！我們該可以當一輩子兄弟手足！481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1KLedBeU5w
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFJMJOVqZfC
架後，我沒有留下片言隻字，待身體稍稍恢復後首先離開回家去，懶理阿強依然躺在草地上粗喘不已。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4KIvSLh7BF
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn6UyswErrL
阿媽見我身上有傷，許是大概明白那是甚麼一回事，沒有多問，亦不予關心。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWpiFuY3IuV
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLDmfq4LWgW
我不在意，一心思考如何在畢業禮當晚向許家偉表白……481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ieBbnhpxU
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPQnFplH0wR
畢業禮，是終結也是新開始。學生們穿戴整齊，戰戰兢兢上台領受證書。莘莘學子前途未卜，能夠掌握在手的只有當下。今朝有酒今朝醉，齊齊喝酒齊齊醉。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR8YUA54pGu
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwSxziYyULT
阿強取來一支烈酒，邀我對飲：「追求真愛不是那麼容易。至少要比我更能喝。」481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbkubrnqBS0
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvZZirBWuVi
我欣然接受。他很了解我，許是估計到我將會乘著酒意找許家偉表白去。我唯一擺脫阿強的方法就是先把他灌醉。我們都不是省油的燈，自小經常一起偷偷喝酒，十分清楚對方酒量和醉態——一旦倒下，沒有廿四小時可醒不過來。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡly2eTf4x3m
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEzb5IPSxMo
小醉。半醉。大醉。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAM8RJSMTq0
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyt8rnywMff
阿強半伏枱邊，傻笑問我：「想好如何表白了沒？」481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvIP9ZhpAs1
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd5I9JTwWSh
「直接講我愛他。」481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWPkRvxHaxS
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtCUheO5Tnt
「如果他拒絕？」481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdUSj4Sglpu
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUGquXnpl3i
「沒怎麼樣。就像我之前被女同學拒絕那樣。」481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9KDddsXJi0
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc6mF2TqXpU
「如果他接受了？那怎麼辦？」481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG8mywz9W5E
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4n7f1oxuGu
「我當然是高興！」481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3lsqPMYAle
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGuU4CkwMbF
「我在問，他會怎麼辦？你認為他的內心強大得能夠與你共同面對往後一切？」481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxNAVQr1dVN
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ097jDS6Ql
阿強問了一個我沒有想及的問題。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcCJpPi19nz
事隔四十年，我和李浩榮在阿強的喪禮上再次聚頭。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY8iJsGZ85q
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3zHG0Mch5R
李浩榮說他在畢業禮後與阿強斷絕了聯絡。我為此道歉。他問我為何道歉。我重提他酒後那段說話。他反問我是否真的認為過錯在我。我答不肯定——我無心令他們鬧翻，但我確是他們鬧翻的原因。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQEGNuCfYdl
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR0QjbfDLDk
李浩榮苦笑，笑容意味深長。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN75Hf3GG9j
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXYezHN1vSU
「阿強沒講錯。你真懦弱。」481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6sWveeSpBY
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ1vNM1iT2M
「活了那麼多年，經歷那麼多事情，我不得不承認自己的懦弱。」481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡah1p1gBAPd
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ju1rFvIlr
「你仍然單身？」481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmTtIkSprWv
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8B8GyYTjB4
「是的。」481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCC6MsVAawa
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9MLAaNLVGu
「要我當媒嗎？」481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡENrFwbkiK6
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHk9MrzOvOe
「不了。難為情。」481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnz1Hn1m6bz
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwC0VzFwnhS
李浩榮失笑，笑我不值得被愛。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgof7LODYiI
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0xtTfIrFgm
我陪笑，笑說我懂得珍愛自己就可以。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA3Z445xM5x
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZghyPZebdF
多寒暄幾句，我和李浩榮相互道別，分道揚鑣不復見。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9yurojMESk
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwJQQDwvjoV
抬頭望天，天陰雨冷，冷入心脾。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx1zjfYoZBj
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡorRza39zbx
回家吧。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhPTYqwbAW6
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlB9pgvYj0S
開門。門後空洞空虛空蕩蕩。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmELzeNXqqx
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ02isNFiHvk
「戚戚慘慘悽悽，清清冷冷，覓覓尋尋。」興之所至，我一邊脫鞋，一邊倒背《聲聲慢》首三句。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2yk7vu7JM1
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3EBLBjyH6D
「尋他千百度，驀然回首，那人卻在燈火闌珊處。」沒有脫襪，懶洋洋得撲到梳化上，順口接上《青玉案．元夕》末句。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuzP3KDHLdb
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtPmdU7dXGR
枕臂望窗，映入眼簾的是極端的光與暗、黑與白——廳燈沒有亮起，窗外日光耀眼得刺痛，室內與室外亮度差異極大。驀地憶起日光照在他臉營造出來的明暗，憶起他的臉容氣質，憶起那抹笑容。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOyuZGrDnso
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsmocY0Zb9p
大概是一見鍾情吧。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1bsk3fEd4V
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9lJvnkatSA
奈何我當年愚鈍懵懂，後知後覺。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvABbQVFqYc
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV5HKgri1L8
如果我當年及早清楚知道自己的意向，結果會否不一樣？481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcdkgXSV856
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPKNxe0ikqE
我笑自己想多了：結果會是一樣的。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNncBrgrbpr
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqr2gLHFWTE
我是懦弱的人，我珍愛自己，所以我不會為他人冒險。我寧願花上一輩子去幻想錯過了的美好愛情，亦不會勇敢踏前一步去追求愛情。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoQE1OQOb3B
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqMg3sSCKsf
李浩榮說得沒錯，我不值得被愛。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5vQR3ggm2D
事隔四十年，昔日摯友躺在棺材裡，往日心上人站在我面前。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu83j5wc9HF
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeld0zPpGJ0
百感交集……481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc7ULQdJhe1
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoLDzUTaVNo
當年我為了許家偉與阿強鬧翻，事後亦沒敢聯絡許家偉。同時失去摯友和心上人，情感上的痛令我失眠了好幾年。那時候，還以為痛楚會一直維持下去，有如浪漫淒美感人的愛情電影情節。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJoBNbttKNL
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY5OfmJDg22
不過電影終究與現實不同：角色的難忘遭遇濃縮在短短一個半小時裡，情感故此顯得激烈而深刻；現實中的情感必須經過時間洗禮和加入許多愛情以外因素，例如家庭、工作、健康、個人財政等等。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIbHICfx2EK
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcfIV52jS6i
痛楚自然而然被淡化掉。我漸漸忘了阿強的忠肝義膽和許家偉的獨特魅力，直至今日再聚……481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3es5bbOUXm
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD26GHzaVSc
「認得我嗎？我是許家偉。」481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfnpdTMGKKE
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMdDHM7YRYx
「認得。你是文班的。」481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1cDWDACwGq
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr1Si6Z9oMi
許家偉淺笑，笑容如昔，淡然清雅溫婉。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6j13ai2Huc
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcJXO7i8DT9
閒聊之間，發現他仍然單身。究其原因，他只道難為情。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLpNU1a3pmu
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjILffrXal0
「你不值得被愛。」我蔑笑。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyUZ5zJKfi9
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUuEUXeXfPl
四十年過去，許家偉仍是當初那個許家偉。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn4gq5K1UVD
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzOhzYkLlxG
阿強沒講錯——他的內心不會強大得能夠與我共同面對一切。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ijXzAA7US
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxxMahnSw2m
「我懂得珍愛自己就可以。」許家偉笑著說。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLr0VW87XTq
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeQW8vhhHBe
許家偉在認真？他真心認為這是珍愛自己的行徑？481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo8LtxXHOZG
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhgpjEyoinE
我哭笑不得。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOLCstjBS2D
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTj5S0C9QP1
無意跟他繼續對話。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2nuXg3poFA
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9adeO8ZSEU
多寒暄幾句，我和許家偉相互道別，分道揚鑣不復見。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVGB2uGAJbw
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡclB87FNmO7
抬頭望天，天陰雨冷，冷入心脾。
然後按「加至主畫面」