午餐用膳後，男生們大多會將多餘時間花在學校操場，或場上打籃球，或場外觀賽。我亦不例外，在場邊與同學輕聲討論打球技巧。忘形之際，一個籃球高速自後側飛來，狠狠砸中我右耳耳背。場中男生上前向我連聲道歉，我只道不要緊。男生拾球後繼續回場較勁，沒把事情放心上。當然，我也沒所謂，小事一椿。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdEO66ICQLG
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD86S194TeV
令我在意的反倒是球場另邊有個陌生男生對我微笑。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYq7kbCmXc9
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd75prGo4vv
匆匆一笑，半秒即逝。他轉頭跟身邊友人繼續說說笑笑。我挺肯定自己想多了——對方不是故意對著我笑，僅是他的站立姿勢及面向角度湊巧朝著我這邊來。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvub8Tgkbxo
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0JrjEB5C1X
但我還是記住了那抹笑容，記住了他的臉容氣質，記住日光照在他臉營造出來的明暗。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcGl0kEeU3F
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYxJsCuM2Jy
為何記住？我解釋不了。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ347p6fQ3ec
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsw4OOYc3FQ
好幾個月過去，夏天轉換為冬。颯颯寒風成功減少場邊女生數目，男生仍然在此閒聊逛蕩。同行朋友忽爾興起，動身到場裡打球。我笑笑婉拒，說吃飽想睡不想動。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi0p7LrYI5M
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt71rRlb3L3
我獨坐長椅一邊，納悶之際，兩個男生前來佔坐長椅另端空位。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxuB9VnFg8M
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRtyAd8efS4
其中一個是他。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqbqkjf4Udi
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfa5E6oJ0bq
那笑那臉那明暗，歷歷在目。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLg398QeerX
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB4IojmQL58
心頭一顫，我馬上別過臉去。數秒後，我稍為冷靜，意識到自己的失態，佯裝無異，繼續觀看球賽。不過他似乎察覺我的異樣，有意無意對我展露笑容——一個意味深長的笑容。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBozFfXwcOc
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw2pI9ZILCW
我尷尬離座回課室去。走樓梯至三樓時，他竟從後叫住我。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJFLIn71xLr
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkiUUIbBKjf
「你遺下銀包。」579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsTWrXlsZNj
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx6GsLA4XXZ
「謝謝。」579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxb0zmmh1oI
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYwmQKFU9NN
「不用客氣……」579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2aeeRK1PlH
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlrce1bZm6c
奇怪。看他忸怩模樣，他似乎還有話要對我說。說甚麼？不是必須相識的陌生人可以如何打開話題？甚或是「為何要展開話題」？579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMEzmIEpsIf
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡznWjyWafiG
氣氛尷尬，四目交投，卻不知如何是好。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg0IgJdwpFX
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ZhARliPlL
直至提著半滿水桶和微濕地拖的校工在我倆之間經過，彼此才回過神來，甚有默契同時分別從兩個方向離開。我往上，他往下。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPzCETk5C9p
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7rm82GwSmO
誰料在午飯時間完結後，我們還是在五樓走廊再次碰面——原來我們都是中五生。由於班別不同、社交圈子不重疊，所以未曾正式認識。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj43RKS8rFr
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbewXUzXUiz
不要緊。現在互相自我介紹就可以。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPmZkJdW4Qw
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSpuuz6lIS7
「我是文班許家偉。」579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEefhbZV9Mo
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0dq2gMWQnn
「我是理班李浩榮。」579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoo66bDZaC4
其實我早已知道許家偉。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmQXaNqjh9D
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2bT24lJxEV
我心儀對象就是喜歡許家偉。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkxXrQAuvhH
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6hIkMXEc79
被拒絕的心情久久不散。我開始留意許家偉這個人。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk8aKgjGdU3
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcfRvgsbTdM
拜託阿強向文班生打探有關許家偉的事。某文班生說許家偉無啥特別，亦無專長或短處，是個存在感不強的乖學生。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4gg7TshEls
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMavY0aF4J1
我不明所以——為何心儀對象看上他？579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc4Xf9hjOlN
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxPIShWuX7K
不是認為心儀對象定要接受我或是對方必須比我優勝，只是我真的找不到許家偉有何可愛之處。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD9yyvoYRg5
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNv6knXxADR
不服氣。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK49RM5CCrZ
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6NI7YYPVqB
繼續觀察他。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz7yj67CyYH
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCMz06X1u3h
匆匆數月，秋去冬來，我對許家偉好奇不減。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW1h8lZ2HgD
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk2GEVEVJY3
某天午餐後，我和阿強發現許家偉獨坐操場長椅，於是立即齊齊上前佔據長椅另端，近距離觀察他。他似乎發現我們的奇異目光，動身離開。正感沒趣，阿強發現地上有一個銀包。查看內裡，看見許家偉的學生證。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpz7CCab0HH
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡldEMZFZ6e4
阿強建議取走內裡金錢和學生證，再將銀包交到校務處。我反對，擔心惹禍上身。阿強問我是否討厭許家偉。我無正面回應，僅是堅持物歸原主。阿強讓步，將銀包遞給我。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1v1EhfvfjF
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhlJhRPXjuS
我急步追趕許家偉。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcDOpCTFDOA
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlJEijMzCcM
不明白自己此刻行為。正如阿強所問，我不是討厭許家偉嗎？人前，我一直表達對許家偉的討厭；人後，我曾多次理性分析過自己有沒有討厭他的實質理由。沒有，尤其在我對心儀對象忘情以後。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4TEMQLK0f7
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmrQQFrxv8o
奈何留意許家偉經已成為我的習慣。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgk2DdayUF5
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs1uB11Mnt9
遠遠看見他的身影，我自然而然打起十二分精神；聽到心儀對象與好友聊天時提及許家偉，我對他的好奇大於對心儀對象的；走經中五級壁報板，會不經意試找許家偉的名字……579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGLae1OeCYF
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ346ItktXQh
「你遺下了銀包。」579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH1l9lS6Bba
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgQbQqBwqXG
「謝謝。」579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiQw3BCUsMp
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQvLeG40xKn
「不用客氣……」579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzY6SJPsYaE
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvgZr4gooSW
經已物歸原主。他道謝，我虛應，然後該是沒有然後。但我們還是愣在原地。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU0MR4FruG2
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOHjPbtTzJ4
該要說甚麼？還需要說甚麼？沒有啊！但我們還是原地愣著。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3KU4zoDRFS
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5aT9ua7Xwa
他是否一早知道我？他是否早已察覺我在留意他？不會吧……579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡedjLqAGzxF
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWMvt2vUo5v
我望入他雙眼。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDla03f34IE
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Qc3KNemfJ
不。我鐵定他不認識我。他的眼神迷惘疑惑忐忑，似乎在期待甚麼……579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtTPQCOn7Qm
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0eUbCUDGKM
一名校工在我和許家偉之間走過。我在視線被阻擋當刻回過神來，低頭轉身離開。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3bljcMf27x
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgZMvHbU1xs
我回到操場側長椅。阿強仍在，問我有否教訓許家偉一頓。我苦笑罵他發神經。阿強收起笑容，認真勸我別壓抑情緒。我說理解許家偉是無辜的，不會繼續討厭他。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw9MQqYTWl5
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR7VATdpIQn
上課鈴聲響起，學生魚貫回課室去。人群中，我在五樓走廊與許家偉迎個正著。他驚訝之情洋溢於表。我反倒開懷笑了，笑他遲鈍，後知後覺。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5qXklrQz5d
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6d3AyvMl5M
許家偉臉紅，禮貌地點點頭，上前自我介紹。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡujh1lKo2H4
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡizl9FHqg1X
「我是文班許家偉。」579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwZl4xvYWHK
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4uZb7qbAHG
「我是理班李浩榮。」579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMugb8xlZN7
畢業多年，我跟李浩榮從未聯絡過——當我這麼講，舊生聚會上人人皆表出乎意料：「你們當年那麼要好，竟然未曾聯絡一次？」579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgCtt9TMN0m
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYxshKfoMEi
我笑笑點頭，不多解釋。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoAmwcaDXhg
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCz47mjSO8P
畢業禮當晚，他告訴我，他的心儀對象喜歡我。我問他那女生是誰，我可以當面拒絕她。他說不必，因為他已不愛他。我感到奇怪：如已釋懷，為何重提。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMaPPzHHNVp
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB4GmnAwuPi
李浩榮笑笑，笑說他已覺悟，明白人的真正作用。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuIKluRDCZ8
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6QVVd0RjqN
聽到這莫名其妙的答案，我就知道他醉了——他喝下很多酒。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKPiC1FNwh2
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzF1DLYGSPW
他說人的真正作用就是將另外兩個不相識的人串連在一起，或是把深交的兩個人分開，例如那女生無意間將我帶到他的人生當中，而我又無意間成為他和青梅竹馬鬧翻原因。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwrdhHGLtdB
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWQP5Q0NEmz
我大概聽出話裡的話。有點難過，有點無奈，有點害怕——害怕今晚坦白心聲以後，我和李浩榮再無交集。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeqx27YW5ER
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNKre0k7DfW
但我沒有阻止他。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhgBk8n4Mwj
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqHF09qcpdG
他壓抑已久，情感需要釋放。這很可能是我以朋友身份給他的最後禮物。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSVUS2ZtQQK
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Hrn3hDtw7
我慫恿他繼續說下去。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyziGDpxewQ
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzA9U6CFHMm
他跟阿強相識於幼稚園。他倆都是頑皮孩子，經常氣得老師向父母投訴，父母夜裡就來一頓痛打。他們經常看到對方手腫腳瘀，起初會擔心對方身體，後來發現彼此不怕捱打，只怕玩得不痛快。相顧輕笑，再玩再捱打……玩著捱著，二人同甘共苦十四年，彼此之間有一種難以言喻的默契——只有阿強看出他非但未曾討厭我，反倒羨慕我的不起眼。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWdMsY4taCF
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ2KloKKRf8
我好奇李浩榮何解會羨慕不起眼的人。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx8KGTuUXqh
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS2lMQNfAq2
「不被注意、不被期望，方能活得自由稱心。」579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFGpiYgMrH5
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCtRleTQzkS
我問他是否有煩惱，可以向我傾訴，也許我能想出好辦法。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeVtF59hVGF
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlNINGEDGew
李浩榮報以苦笑，沒有正面回答。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqhTYhXAqpR
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIvbUVJVOf9
那夜，他喝得爛醉，我送他回家。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZdtL8gbQji
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlqIoYOSSMI
伯母應門。是個凶神惡煞的中年婦，語調急促，不帶尾音。她接過李浩榮，留下一句道謝，利落關門。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2r18u6gxg7
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSOXF4xgwtA
門關。心頭若有所失——感覺永遠不會再見到李浩榮。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK1la61YqHd
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTDJodwQkSt
其實沒甚麼大不了。這是人生必經的離合過程。不會令我受到任何傷害，亦不會令我蒙受任何損失。著實沒甚麼大不了。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLpnnPZH7AJ
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB75RcFGSaa
但我掛念他。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3BZjpSdpZ9
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu9DrcdPVGU
不是偶然想起，不是遇上麻煩、需要向他求助，不是看見眼熟物件進而聯想。沒錯，是真正的掛念——我無法自欺。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9pmB2YXjZo
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2nOgBs3kc9
想起他，我不期然會笑；想起他，我感覺窩心；想起他，我會自覺孤單可憐。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGVwa6WXU6U
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHhUnTqWBNR
我漸漸意識到這是甚麼一回事。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrQhUHLTHiJ
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvXQ2gzDwIM
糟糕了！怎麼辦？怎麼辦！不知道。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDgTfthIFOJ
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHZUEAQF7Lv
不要說。不要聽。不要見。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGTP4GooSsz
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi5GCaDo32r
希望時間會沖淡一切。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj0u8xM6jTF
依稀記得畢業翌日在自家客廳梳化醒來的畫面。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyLbfu3kihO
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUztKSnmpwC
首先映入眼簾的是極端的光與暗、黑與白——廳燈沒有亮起，窗外日光耀眼得刺痛，室內與室外亮度差異極大。眼睛無法於短時間內適應，煞是暈眩，有一股酸餿灼熱自胸腔冒升。想吐。沒法吐。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡShepDF9bU6
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2EuqluC0aM
阿媽沒有理會我，背對我在廚房煲湯。她對著湯煲說：「昨晚是他送你回來。」579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1bQA3BHzNG
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQqYtZf3aWY
我敵不過暈眩與劇烈頭痛，重新軟癱梳化上。沒回話打算，反正阿媽定會繼續說下去。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGQr2JstGsC
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrYCU47bGjK
「我不明白你為何喜歡他。」579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ44CMrDaRUJ
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqgVJD2aPHm
「我也不明白。」579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1OWp9hS4eO
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAwWdTeMQQ7
「那就不要繼續喜歡。」579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiuXoJnm6fe
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIGvtgRJSw7
「感覺，並非可以自由控制的。」579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSTCqrvKB7w
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOyq1WwsfOA
「我亦無法自由控制我的兒子喜歡誰。」579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYgWSE08qS7
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQn1I54GvW6
「我也無法自由選擇誰是我的母親。」579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkjDLUVPesg
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo3qsMS5Adc
「真抱歉——未得你同意就把你生下來。」579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXqA9nA66H5
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡscno0Iqnza
「你該要對我感到抱歉。」579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrcYM9YAYqe
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡenm7jRdMAt
我晦氣，毫不掩飾對她的討厭。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVwrgbzxXn5
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnkyKOM9LVv
阿媽沒再多話，繼續在廚房忙著。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAcyhS67ag3
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ1ZKtC0uek
真要命。人生就是那麼多無謂紛擾。我的人生屬於我，為何旁人總愛插手？579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmoHmmMeASh
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCqFw9gq077
抵著頭痛，我硬撐起身子小便去。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIdL0B452J6
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnPxwMj4Rt5
在抽氣扇綿延不斷的摩打聲襯托下，小便聲清脆得噁心。噁感令我清醒不少，昨晚回憶開始隱約浮現。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbgACSw7yqP
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCJ7gvIuQaV
我似乎講過一些不該出口的話。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZVlmUdfzpP
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8OX8ltUGLY
真的嗎？我真的把話說出口？579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjmndDClh6i
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUULka3ZYr9
為何這麼驚訝？阿強醉倒後，我特意喝下更多酒，不就是為了把話講出口嗎？579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡurxgbkHhan
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtM1nbeuQGv
便意盡，醉意消，騰出來的腦空間被後悔和自責分佔了。我呆上半晌才提起褲子洗手去。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLP8pDpiqea
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡopT7z92tEb
為何要走到這一步？579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTuSilwzSbq
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDGfMt5F6yX
阿強早已看出我對許家偉的感情，擔心我走上「歪路」。我有點兒生氣——誰有資格定義這是否歪路。阿強自知沒能說服我，乾脆將觀察所得告訴我媽。性格暴躁的阿媽一反常態，冷靜淡然勸我切勿繼續投放感情。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa2HTtOngi8
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT7SmsJWzoe
「世人表裡不一。口說開明，實質守舊。」579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjUELAdIQLh
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYrjmrA4Iee
「是嗎？你呢？你口說放棄，心底裡在支持我吧？」579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWwOgTbnRQA
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOcpjnyzF01
「別倔強。」579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡif7pCMUZP2
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGCxaGmUpvw
「我想要知道你的真正想法！別敷衍！別蒙混！」579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ98KUfhMMlp
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk36VKXGs8p
「我想你放棄。」579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtWtT1s1cLv
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxbp4FzJLdB
「原因？」579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn7Ozw2juDA
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnd29TuIotL
「現實終歸是現實的。你將要面對的困難並非單靠信念、希望和愛情就可以解決。」579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUId4x2VGmQ
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxg76RqjDDm
「我知道。」579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2sgCQJ0WOI
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX1xev3vvgD
「何解還要繼續下去？」579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYIALgUKRGN
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEVTBdUdwVm
「感情易放難收。」579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGcbZ3acWIX
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3hT4CO2Guz
阿媽沒法回嘴——「感情」一詞明確否定了邏輯和理智，她還有何話可說，只得被動地待我回心轉意。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡexBda4Iat1
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ1oNSxlSRr
傍晚，我約見阿強，在公園暗處與他打一架。我們手腫腳瘀，有如兒時被父母教訓一樣。看著彼此頹喪模樣，我既心痛亦生氣——我們的友誼不該淪落至此！我們該可以當一輩子兄弟手足！579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtB2cVhT8fY
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi496LacqZT
架後，我沒有留下片言隻字，待身體稍稍恢復後首先離開回家去，懶理阿強依然躺在草地上粗喘不已。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgm8gwSp1lB
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS4NMYZCrkV
阿媽見我身上有傷，許是大概明白那是甚麼一回事，沒有多問，亦不予關心。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ30THpuMIKZ
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMufMMIycHm
我不在意，一心思考如何在畢業禮當晚向許家偉表白……579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN8Wb9FnuvD
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVMrfaQNJ5x
畢業禮，是終結也是新開始。學生們穿戴整齊，戰戰兢兢上台領受證書。莘莘學子前途未卜，能夠掌握在手的只有當下。今朝有酒今朝醉，齊齊喝酒齊齊醉。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4qnriocNbi
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP2sB5giomF
阿強取來一支烈酒，邀我對飲：「追求真愛不是那麼容易。至少要比我更能喝。」579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6vLNuuFSat
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIfgdvfLX5o
我欣然接受。他很了解我，許是估計到我將會乘著酒意找許家偉表白去。我唯一擺脫阿強的方法就是先把他灌醉。我們都不是省油的燈，自小經常一起偷偷喝酒，十分清楚對方酒量和醉態——一旦倒下，沒有廿四小時可醒不過來。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5TGYSYeAlM
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIARCQ0VaGb
小醉。半醉。大醉。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoudNC5O1OJ
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD3NW8uowDZ
阿強半伏枱邊，傻笑問我：「想好如何表白了沒？」579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9oRNUB1sT0
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJfAlWEd7Sa
「直接講我愛他。」579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5IT0GcOaSo
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkK2HpTo3zd
「如果他拒絕？」579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCc9GuDsOrG
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAKL7pFaeaf
「沒怎麼樣。就像我之前被女同學拒絕那樣。」579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfjvZjLIizK
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJUCJypU7RX
「如果他接受了？那怎麼辦？」579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDFpIqGrTnW
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9kZGJDgvJ4
「我當然是高興！」579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbUCiSKiUfF
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh6AfzfQ4I7
「我在問，他會怎麼辦？你認為他的內心強大得能夠與你共同面對往後一切？」579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsER5TVnPmb
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLwNknNyprj
阿強問了一個我沒有想及的問題。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFgeTdzYVRK
事隔四十年，我和李浩榮在阿強的喪禮上再次聚頭。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIA89FcJOtm
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHd5KPGzbPT
李浩榮說他在畢業禮後與阿強斷絕了聯絡。我為此道歉。他問我為何道歉。我重提他酒後那段說話。他反問我是否真的認為過錯在我。我答不肯定——我無心令他們鬧翻，但我確是他們鬧翻的原因。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiv4okMm0SV
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgt5dEEMeoz
李浩榮苦笑，笑容意味深長。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkAFWcMevFu
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbpkdb7KhRA
「阿強沒講錯。你真懦弱。」579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV7lC4Cmzae
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP8UyS6010X
「活了那麼多年，經歷那麼多事情，我不得不承認自己的懦弱。」579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡItsDhf1s45
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKDDasav1OD
「你仍然單身？」579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfTi4VkMQPm
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPvt9FNhdj9
「是的。」579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAAeCskVJ5g
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFH0uiCQvDD
「要我當媒嗎？」579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGool14k2tv
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQwUm0ECYdg
「不了。難為情。」579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDp9gBUtT0t
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1VwsoxH4Pa
李浩榮失笑，笑我不值得被愛。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPImmUkeG2q
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsrloRAEEnt
我陪笑，笑說我懂得珍愛自己就可以。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs5jyfOw892
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqlEhdXLeuk
多寒暄幾句，我和李浩榮相互道別，分道揚鑣不復見。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlEw8gkZasb
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtzRQ0lVCvA
抬頭望天，天陰雨冷，冷入心脾。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLyTLbE0UO6
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKxPgR1Iv0A
回家吧。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyTx5kY5O6T
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUxZsYUiGwA
開門。門後空洞空虛空蕩蕩。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWgMnI0fuNt
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFODopUxpz4
「戚戚慘慘悽悽，清清冷冷，覓覓尋尋。」興之所至，我一邊脫鞋，一邊倒背《聲聲慢》首三句。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZaTJRGMrSI
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ84TxzhQrpj
「尋他千百度，驀然回首，那人卻在燈火闌珊處。」沒有脫襪，懶洋洋得撲到梳化上，順口接上《青玉案．元夕》末句。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiyICIJYi9x
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡskdahnWyfe
枕臂望窗，映入眼簾的是極端的光與暗、黑與白——廳燈沒有亮起，窗外日光耀眼得刺痛，室內與室外亮度差異極大。驀地憶起日光照在他臉營造出來的明暗，憶起他的臉容氣質，憶起那抹笑容。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtRgoB7zKI7
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmR6hgcJZOI
大概是一見鍾情吧。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl6EELrNrqR
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY1SJasB82v
奈何我當年愚鈍懵懂，後知後覺。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVGT1eMdYCe
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVpt1VS1TC6
如果我當年及早清楚知道自己的意向，結果會否不一樣？579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh83lUiUmD9
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwHRVUoZcU5
我笑自己想多了：結果會是一樣的。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLGnoi0od33
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7wiusx9i07
我是懦弱的人，我珍愛自己，所以我不會為他人冒險。我寧願花上一輩子去幻想錯過了的美好愛情，亦不會勇敢踏前一步去追求愛情。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBQemwNgNgr
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo0OGFhJ6Qx
李浩榮說得沒錯，我不值得被愛。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8E11ITcSKO
事隔四十年，昔日摯友躺在棺材裡，往日心上人站在我面前。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxOJImqwEe4
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKTuwaTOK3k
百感交集……579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLb1xXlcPJs
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCmMCxs1ZgW
當年我為了許家偉與阿強鬧翻，事後亦沒敢聯絡許家偉。同時失去摯友和心上人，情感上的痛令我失眠了好幾年。那時候，還以為痛楚會一直維持下去，有如浪漫淒美感人的愛情電影情節。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG7ArO46RYH
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFWXZudvImU
不過電影終究與現實不同：角色的難忘遭遇濃縮在短短一個半小時裡，情感故此顯得激烈而深刻；現實中的情感必須經過時間洗禮和加入許多愛情以外因素，例如家庭、工作、健康、個人財政等等。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2BAsdeUw6c
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEKsfrGc0Sg
痛楚自然而然被淡化掉。我漸漸忘了阿強的忠肝義膽和許家偉的獨特魅力，直至今日再聚……579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc5LyWJIxpD
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPhpnObEhR5
「認得我嗎？我是許家偉。」579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT74cZzm3SM
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3hZfTNRMy8
「認得。你是文班的。」579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEslakilQrK
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKYsSicUc4f
許家偉淺笑，笑容如昔，淡然清雅溫婉。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbtOCYPDCzZ
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSB62sIcetc
閒聊之間，發現他仍然單身。究其原因，他只道難為情。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzeTE2mX40s
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqgCLEu6Kge
「你不值得被愛。」我蔑笑。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWUmBQCdUFR
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoBi8RmNw2o
四十年過去，許家偉仍是當初那個許家偉。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOdfOxLDx1d
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCN3lyZwMyO
阿強沒講錯——他的內心不會強大得能夠與我共同面對一切。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtHrARJNJ2N
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0QUfuZOfG9
「我懂得珍愛自己就可以。」許家偉笑著說。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiBu8y1viZb
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMgGZjEoKIF
許家偉在認真？他真心認為這是珍愛自己的行徑？579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsVIZnKzKiK
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI7crD7AjtP
我哭笑不得。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3gIUk3o4jO
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoPIdQvZVki
無意跟他繼續對話。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0qIDgT3cMs
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3mhZg9xuku
多寒暄幾句，我和許家偉相互道別，分道揚鑣不復見。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuELC862XiM
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaaCBZX05p6
抬頭望天，天陰雨冷，冷入心脾。
然後按「加至主畫面」