午餐用膳後，男生們大多會將多餘時間花在學校操場，或場上打籃球，或場外觀賽。我亦不例外，在場邊與同學輕聲討論打球技巧。忘形之際，一個籃球高速自後側飛來，狠狠砸中我右耳耳背。場中男生上前向我連聲道歉，我只道不要緊。男生拾球後繼續回場較勁，沒把事情放心上。當然，我也沒所謂，小事一椿。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ537oyomlIO
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMtAveY4rOD
令我在意的反倒是球場另邊有個陌生男生對我微笑。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcgyA0XCUh8
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeeGhk6nWn8
匆匆一笑，半秒即逝。他轉頭跟身邊友人繼續說說笑笑。我挺肯定自己想多了——對方不是故意對著我笑，僅是他的站立姿勢及面向角度湊巧朝著我這邊來。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6EIICSjeHq
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtPCyaaK34s
但我還是記住了那抹笑容，記住了他的臉容氣質，記住日光照在他臉營造出來的明暗。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu2zF78NurO
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFNIJ2IC6hM
為何記住？我解釋不了。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ZHd7WSpYz
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8QKsRTa9wS
好幾個月過去，夏天轉換為冬。颯颯寒風成功減少場邊女生數目，男生仍然在此閒聊逛蕩。同行朋友忽爾興起，動身到場裡打球。我笑笑婉拒，說吃飽想睡不想動。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8qY6PwlV7w
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcuzROgRvyF
我獨坐長椅一邊，納悶之際，兩個男生前來佔坐長椅另端空位。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbutg9pY2Xp
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ31Dm1yaJ36
其中一個是他。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5NNd7YTKWh
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRQjf74HEGw
那笑那臉那明暗，歷歷在目。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzFiDnULSvk
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3BDe8U9JfF
心頭一顫，我馬上別過臉去。數秒後，我稍為冷靜，意識到自己的失態，佯裝無異，繼續觀看球賽。不過他似乎察覺我的異樣，有意無意對我展露笑容——一個意味深長的笑容。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTAVafR186n
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIZ87nqqok3
我尷尬離座回課室去。走樓梯至三樓時，他竟從後叫住我。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLKFRTnx4Ib
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQuwTrk4Ypi
「你遺下銀包。」508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb2KpjAzBFf
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJxCMDMP9Bm
「謝謝。」508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo8KtCo6CnP
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo81Y0OFtGI
「不用客氣……」508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGpDeeEWeLL
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrvmI2mJoKS
奇怪。看他忸怩模樣，他似乎還有話要對我說。說甚麼？不是必須相識的陌生人可以如何打開話題？甚或是「為何要展開話題」？508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkTEk9VC5Lq
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡptLD2ami8W
氣氛尷尬，四目交投，卻不知如何是好。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpOlFYseb2J
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwNijdKzeyH
直至提著半滿水桶和微濕地拖的校工在我倆之間經過，彼此才回過神來，甚有默契同時分別從兩個方向離開。我往上，他往下。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKpwvORmSN2
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMB9SpVOmhx
誰料在午飯時間完結後，我們還是在五樓走廊再次碰面——原來我們都是中五生。由於班別不同、社交圈子不重疊，所以未曾正式認識。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXN8ltVIbAn
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvR87XvTY5D
不要緊。現在互相自我介紹就可以。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcSoqyXVupt
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgg5bUjM78B
「我是文班許家偉。」508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvnll8aZb47
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRqHbEchAHK
「我是理班李浩榮。」508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX9rJOedWrW
其實我早已知道許家偉。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK7ETnLe37O
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ6lA21Ajqb
我心儀對象就是喜歡許家偉。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXmNjYqRm1u
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtl5WE4epKE
被拒絕的心情久久不散。我開始留意許家偉這個人。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡONcFmDLlTE
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2IZyCyIsRA
拜託阿強向文班生打探有關許家偉的事。某文班生說許家偉無啥特別，亦無專長或短處，是個存在感不強的乖學生。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsvajFQhIwg
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtdZ0U8MAwU
我不明所以——為何心儀對象看上他？508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbL72bShVfn
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP4nnRLEVZt
不是認為心儀對象定要接受我或是對方必須比我優勝，只是我真的找不到許家偉有何可愛之處。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA23skRKxuZ
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdxQh9rCzHs
不服氣。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGzaFOOQctn
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG8PbKY7NpE
繼續觀察他。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2clcpMoH69
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI9xWZMT5E4
匆匆數月，秋去冬來，我對許家偉好奇不減。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcbPfIUzPdl
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUlqyIgzM0W
某天午餐後，我和阿強發現許家偉獨坐操場長椅，於是立即齊齊上前佔據長椅另端，近距離觀察他。他似乎發現我們的奇異目光，動身離開。正感沒趣，阿強發現地上有一個銀包。查看內裡，看見許家偉的學生證。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiNsnXMk7Hl
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKBSS8PVLy6
阿強建議取走內裡金錢和學生證，再將銀包交到校務處。我反對，擔心惹禍上身。阿強問我是否討厭許家偉。我無正面回應，僅是堅持物歸原主。阿強讓步，將銀包遞給我。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvjgWhWHzFk
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS11TXOK0Lg
我急步追趕許家偉。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKMyeAKubdZ
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM7xsQ0V7DX
不明白自己此刻行為。正如阿強所問，我不是討厭許家偉嗎？人前，我一直表達對許家偉的討厭；人後，我曾多次理性分析過自己有沒有討厭他的實質理由。沒有，尤其在我對心儀對象忘情以後。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEHRTpapTib
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw1CNHprmb9
奈何留意許家偉經已成為我的習慣。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQtRdmprdvR
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ARFRsVhF4
遠遠看見他的身影，我自然而然打起十二分精神；聽到心儀對象與好友聊天時提及許家偉，我對他的好奇大於對心儀對象的；走經中五級壁報板，會不經意試找許家偉的名字……508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpKRnBuBXGb
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzMS7icWm94
「你遺下了銀包。」508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsZr4g5PrC4
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDkcM0wLUoJ
「謝謝。」508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqBZVt1DGvU
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkLhTjR1z8x
「不用客氣……」508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4zw37ZC9Hf
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuZSUJcYK3X
經已物歸原主。他道謝，我虛應，然後該是沒有然後。但我們還是愣在原地。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ92IRlIgEJE
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvfdtnTlPjv
該要說甚麼？還需要說甚麼？沒有啊！但我們還是原地愣著。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4obN2Dicgn
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6IENy18vmM
他是否一早知道我？他是否早已察覺我在留意他？不會吧……508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7TxlJaILQv
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQcI57BlS3E
我望入他雙眼。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ74Xm9tZDdJ
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9PQDl2hFTp
不。我鐵定他不認識我。他的眼神迷惘疑惑忐忑，似乎在期待甚麼……508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC1YiIYcYY2
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQRkCOgnBT9
一名校工在我和許家偉之間走過。我在視線被阻擋當刻回過神來，低頭轉身離開。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO3IdoCJsQQ
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRMExSkXCsq
我回到操場側長椅。阿強仍在，問我有否教訓許家偉一頓。我苦笑罵他發神經。阿強收起笑容，認真勸我別壓抑情緒。我說理解許家偉是無辜的，不會繼續討厭他。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrBIblYcOL5
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ895QMmoRoo
上課鈴聲響起，學生魚貫回課室去。人群中，我在五樓走廊與許家偉迎個正著。他驚訝之情洋溢於表。我反倒開懷笑了，笑他遲鈍，後知後覺。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzFv0F6P11D
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFheFRH0X6h
許家偉臉紅，禮貌地點點頭，上前自我介紹。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRPmiwnxoIe
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcbRDsqoDKF
「我是文班許家偉。」508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUXtVDvihli
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUsU0Q4A2ed
「我是理班李浩榮。」508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0um1VaGUob
畢業多年，我跟李浩榮從未聯絡過——當我這麼講，舊生聚會上人人皆表出乎意料：「你們當年那麼要好，竟然未曾聯絡一次？」508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNgrpV34eKU
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF63q6Wi3pX
我笑笑點頭，不多解釋。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoZUBOyWrYQ
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTczBjvGDNK
畢業禮當晚，他告訴我，他的心儀對象喜歡我。我問他那女生是誰，我可以當面拒絕她。他說不必，因為他已不愛他。我感到奇怪：如已釋懷，為何重提。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXVaFfsHIB8
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSx2vxeECcj
李浩榮笑笑，笑說他已覺悟，明白人的真正作用。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfxxqZxTEHi
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAiosI7Cgqu
聽到這莫名其妙的答案，我就知道他醉了——他喝下很多酒。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8u1TNouSUk
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs5rheHw1ED
他說人的真正作用就是將另外兩個不相識的人串連在一起，或是把深交的兩個人分開，例如那女生無意間將我帶到他的人生當中，而我又無意間成為他和青梅竹馬鬧翻原因。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkmUbDL364Q
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7GE7nEwz6m
我大概聽出話裡的話。有點難過，有點無奈，有點害怕——害怕今晚坦白心聲以後，我和李浩榮再無交集。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkwBnZNtjSp
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcUBEhlPbAc
但我沒有阻止他。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiXDsgOQidq
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXsPm7E88x0
他壓抑已久，情感需要釋放。這很可能是我以朋友身份給他的最後禮物。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsHbCvxpycf
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOuVc2VDT9P
我慫恿他繼續說下去。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX2KWujSHoE
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡonKmmzbhFc
他跟阿強相識於幼稚園。他倆都是頑皮孩子，經常氣得老師向父母投訴，父母夜裡就來一頓痛打。他們經常看到對方手腫腳瘀，起初會擔心對方身體，後來發現彼此不怕捱打，只怕玩得不痛快。相顧輕笑，再玩再捱打……玩著捱著，二人同甘共苦十四年，彼此之間有一種難以言喻的默契——只有阿強看出他非但未曾討厭我，反倒羨慕我的不起眼。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuhUKlQ4XpK
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡECRFiVpdkm
我好奇李浩榮何解會羨慕不起眼的人。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlLGQtZp461
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlDLiYVGo7G
「不被注意、不被期望，方能活得自由稱心。」508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrFp7XaeToL
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVOtEHfCthy
我問他是否有煩惱，可以向我傾訴，也許我能想出好辦法。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡScevOz6jdK
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYsFTedisUl
李浩榮報以苦笑，沒有正面回答。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIKYislO2hS
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNrpwrB1MxU
那夜，他喝得爛醉，我送他回家。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD6E2sY9th6
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTwNt2DIxrF
伯母應門。是個凶神惡煞的中年婦，語調急促，不帶尾音。她接過李浩榮，留下一句道謝，利落關門。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD1bqXmJ31d
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoWr2RFdUeM
門關。心頭若有所失——感覺永遠不會再見到李浩榮。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9vjDsX0WnH
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwc69gcvOgA
其實沒甚麼大不了。這是人生必經的離合過程。不會令我受到任何傷害，亦不會令我蒙受任何損失。著實沒甚麼大不了。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOnPiVpjF65
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgWi37guiRq
但我掛念他。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvfcBg86JrK
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmkxhZOCBo0
不是偶然想起，不是遇上麻煩、需要向他求助，不是看見眼熟物件進而聯想。沒錯，是真正的掛念——我無法自欺。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSFDOjBCzKD
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ23IJ5LxA6N
想起他，我不期然會笑；想起他，我感覺窩心；想起他，我會自覺孤單可憐。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqhu2KxgudN
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuFSvlqT1gQ
我漸漸意識到這是甚麼一回事。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHXzjiVEo1c
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdsp9GtvuBS
糟糕了！怎麼辦？怎麼辦！不知道。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeC7ShDPSZv
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQdrY1gyIWp
不要說。不要聽。不要見。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqea8ijx67O
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgvEELRsZiy
希望時間會沖淡一切。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMp1TVwQcrg
依稀記得畢業翌日在自家客廳梳化醒來的畫面。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZaqZzsHSWn
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuM5I0ZmKVy
首先映入眼簾的是極端的光與暗、黑與白——廳燈沒有亮起，窗外日光耀眼得刺痛，室內與室外亮度差異極大。眼睛無法於短時間內適應，煞是暈眩，有一股酸餿灼熱自胸腔冒升。想吐。沒法吐。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFIeWGTcDYH
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡadH2bb7rMt
阿媽沒有理會我，背對我在廚房煲湯。她對著湯煲說：「昨晚是他送你回來。」508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdmSzq1LNWf
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1h3RghZDJj
我敵不過暈眩與劇烈頭痛，重新軟癱梳化上。沒回話打算，反正阿媽定會繼續說下去。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeNZczCGDI7
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6aCSTtHrUA
「我不明白你為何喜歡他。」508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhta7T2yXMt
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQKRnQghNfx
「我也不明白。」508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡolj87wZ9m9
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡspsgAawkjR
「那就不要繼續喜歡。」508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXnYSChRjr2
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvz5lIaajhh
「感覺，並非可以自由控制的。」508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJxrNcUn9F7
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc3AKjdpvIn
「我亦無法自由控制我的兒子喜歡誰。」508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0hBNkdAGM8
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQO7nmLc8dC
「我也無法自由選擇誰是我的母親。」508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNE9MXdVKjc
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg2BMafrHHV
「真抱歉——未得你同意就把你生下來。」508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡix37q3Z6DN
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVc0OIQojkh
「你該要對我感到抱歉。」508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa6SA4Z6yH9
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzxd2zHDsDX
我晦氣，毫不掩飾對她的討厭。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1X8r9KBOoA
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjh6h0yc47V
阿媽沒再多話，繼續在廚房忙著。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmoX3AnPDQa
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpzLFrelY7s
真要命。人生就是那麼多無謂紛擾。我的人生屬於我，為何旁人總愛插手？508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8JZhKKmlqf
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZdjR1lwQ7M
抵著頭痛，我硬撐起身子小便去。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPqQglUipeB
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgZgSXENpxP
在抽氣扇綿延不斷的摩打聲襯托下，小便聲清脆得噁心。噁感令我清醒不少，昨晚回憶開始隱約浮現。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAYadqq08S6
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ04v19LR5oN
我似乎講過一些不該出口的話。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu7ez7GNSlW
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcEI36QCdxN
真的嗎？我真的把話說出口？508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR7K5JEer3M
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrb45dL5ckd
為何這麼驚訝？阿強醉倒後，我特意喝下更多酒，不就是為了把話講出口嗎？508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA2Bskf9q0s
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2zJ2n77zSY
便意盡，醉意消，騰出來的腦空間被後悔和自責分佔了。我呆上半晌才提起褲子洗手去。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡafbXzojg9j
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbzWsoW97s9
為何要走到這一步？508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX2tjkuHPff
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlHH0YhvxUp
阿強早已看出我對許家偉的感情，擔心我走上「歪路」。我有點兒生氣——誰有資格定義這是否歪路。阿強自知沒能說服我，乾脆將觀察所得告訴我媽。性格暴躁的阿媽一反常態，冷靜淡然勸我切勿繼續投放感情。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡciiKrYCchn
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCGt1z8jRT5
「世人表裡不一。口說開明，實質守舊。」508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYhTice9fBp
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS3Wu3tRoHL
「是嗎？你呢？你口說放棄，心底裡在支持我吧？」508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2SSIl1XatW
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8eHiIsbOi8
「別倔強。」508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu8KaGMx1sX
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡETmH4SuF8S
「我想要知道你的真正想法！別敷衍！別蒙混！」508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKucu8ZdgfR
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg5Yb7t9tvS
「我想你放棄。」508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeoOz9onj1N
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT4enegeIna
「原因？」508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr6ronZP4Hj
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡisROK2rPju
「現實終歸是現實的。你將要面對的困難並非單靠信念、希望和愛情就可以解決。」508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCvjkjLOmrL
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc17RoIg8ko
「我知道。」508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpc9zh498pi
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBpdM1Ko4y6
「何解還要繼續下去？」508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIGwW7HYcfu
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIInhh541Dw
「感情易放難收。」508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZpC0uA6fVU
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq2H1HwbcJS
阿媽沒法回嘴——「感情」一詞明確否定了邏輯和理智，她還有何話可說，只得被動地待我回心轉意。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9qBsGM92oA
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz7La9sG1Ew
傍晚，我約見阿強，在公園暗處與他打一架。我們手腫腳瘀，有如兒時被父母教訓一樣。看著彼此頹喪模樣，我既心痛亦生氣——我們的友誼不該淪落至此！我們該可以當一輩子兄弟手足！508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf64NDOOQPb
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjMXYPLRpZm
架後，我沒有留下片言隻字，待身體稍稍恢復後首先離開回家去，懶理阿強依然躺在草地上粗喘不已。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBpfzJpN91g
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUxA0qtBgnk
阿媽見我身上有傷，許是大概明白那是甚麼一回事，沒有多問，亦不予關心。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWUJJAAc7V2
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ9pNyKNjrn
我不在意，一心思考如何在畢業禮當晚向許家偉表白……508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgE5FpKNoQA
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2v8vKrI458
畢業禮，是終結也是新開始。學生們穿戴整齊，戰戰兢兢上台領受證書。莘莘學子前途未卜，能夠掌握在手的只有當下。今朝有酒今朝醉，齊齊喝酒齊齊醉。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYbxIT9EHFH
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJsNhT0xJLb
阿強取來一支烈酒，邀我對飲：「追求真愛不是那麼容易。至少要比我更能喝。」508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHYKhnEANbP
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp2HH3W9Mhn
我欣然接受。他很了解我，許是估計到我將會乘著酒意找許家偉表白去。我唯一擺脫阿強的方法就是先把他灌醉。我們都不是省油的燈，自小經常一起偷偷喝酒，十分清楚對方酒量和醉態——一旦倒下，沒有廿四小時可醒不過來。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm06TRvLm2B
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA9kbbvHvK8
小醉。半醉。大醉。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYwn6rYmAbK
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaV1UtDWlhT
阿強半伏枱邊，傻笑問我：「想好如何表白了沒？」508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIAOWfe2td6
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHfJFUGY2dd
「直接講我愛他。」508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpwAiZinfCE
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLmksR2yS77
「如果他拒絕？」508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs72M9Eywuo
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQzwVNfa8BB
「沒怎麼樣。就像我之前被女同學拒絕那樣。」508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDF7FY6V6ea
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmIe7sRqLps
「如果他接受了？那怎麼辦？」508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡod4wVcBSMZ
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjgGRrQkE9H
「我當然是高興！」508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmrCb6dP9Jq
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNNQSLscZil
「我在問，他會怎麼辦？你認為他的內心強大得能夠與你共同面對往後一切？」508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhqt8b7P9yd
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5mC6ofmC31
阿強問了一個我沒有想及的問題。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxeQxWJy3v6
事隔四十年，我和李浩榮在阿強的喪禮上再次聚頭。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAeKzXYEOIK
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbQTvBB9XX3
李浩榮說他在畢業禮後與阿強斷絕了聯絡。我為此道歉。他問我為何道歉。我重提他酒後那段說話。他反問我是否真的認為過錯在我。我答不肯定——我無心令他們鬧翻，但我確是他們鬧翻的原因。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Ru7D1AnaQ
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4IETYK3NOG
李浩榮苦笑，笑容意味深長。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIH6BMhOXFn
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNFlhKRMArR
「阿強沒講錯。你真懦弱。」508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4q8hHb2mn2
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUZm9RcR098
「活了那麼多年，經歷那麼多事情，我不得不承認自己的懦弱。」508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMxXWAQTLLu
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtDDXrTYQTE
「你仍然單身？」508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYTqF7pcvh4
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSpzTEdsCPS
「是的。」508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXEJ4WOB3sJ
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAxE8exW2TG
「要我當媒嗎？」508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡScTdJWbnJB
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhTBesoBsMY
「不了。難為情。」508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOJVJgJ8T8o
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBW5qK0I0Qa
李浩榮失笑，笑我不值得被愛。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjw9Rl7a8kE
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXxQCL2EQw4
我陪笑，笑說我懂得珍愛自己就可以。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI5DbZH4rp8
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLVaqNKQJIg
多寒暄幾句，我和李浩榮相互道別，分道揚鑣不復見。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfSR1gVYWxl
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa5JIvjxYDe
抬頭望天，天陰雨冷，冷入心脾。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4nzXQay5zN
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxrSoqaMImJ
回家吧。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI7enPQZiaS
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCyY5R7r0Nv
開門。門後空洞空虛空蕩蕩。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwzVIBBYRWg
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfmeJpc9UMN
「戚戚慘慘悽悽，清清冷冷，覓覓尋尋。」興之所至，我一邊脫鞋，一邊倒背《聲聲慢》首三句。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ7e6ct9NOY
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Qh14sSOuC
「尋他千百度，驀然回首，那人卻在燈火闌珊處。」沒有脫襪，懶洋洋得撲到梳化上，順口接上《青玉案．元夕》末句。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJsTirV6XVO
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWI3OVCePI8
枕臂望窗，映入眼簾的是極端的光與暗、黑與白——廳燈沒有亮起，窗外日光耀眼得刺痛，室內與室外亮度差異極大。驀地憶起日光照在他臉營造出來的明暗，憶起他的臉容氣質，憶起那抹笑容。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRApPmmi3Zq
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb5itgD6A3G
大概是一見鍾情吧。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlEqTkAulbC
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuUcSp0TKIm
奈何我當年愚鈍懵懂，後知後覺。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpC7OljyFGQ
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGwG2IBnvDm
如果我當年及早清楚知道自己的意向，結果會否不一樣？508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDRrubJ8SMN
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSlfO9Ap2Le
我笑自己想多了：結果會是一樣的。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBgrzSUZ54b
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8FV6PtLhOD
我是懦弱的人，我珍愛自己，所以我不會為他人冒險。我寧願花上一輩子去幻想錯過了的美好愛情，亦不會勇敢踏前一步去追求愛情。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSokSZg7zUx
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy8YPZm8B8O
李浩榮說得沒錯，我不值得被愛。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgtX9CauVeo
事隔四十年，昔日摯友躺在棺材裡，往日心上人站在我面前。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyAWSykSqX0
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡznCdAUrYm5
百感交集……508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXW2UoXQIrA
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgGJjzHw2Wr
當年我為了許家偉與阿強鬧翻，事後亦沒敢聯絡許家偉。同時失去摯友和心上人，情感上的痛令我失眠了好幾年。那時候，還以為痛楚會一直維持下去，有如浪漫淒美感人的愛情電影情節。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhQMWIJm1Td
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa9VSlB1qWw
不過電影終究與現實不同：角色的難忘遭遇濃縮在短短一個半小時裡，情感故此顯得激烈而深刻；現實中的情感必須經過時間洗禮和加入許多愛情以外因素，例如家庭、工作、健康、個人財政等等。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6HfWgAsq2z
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd2CxkWWxIS
痛楚自然而然被淡化掉。我漸漸忘了阿強的忠肝義膽和許家偉的獨特魅力，直至今日再聚……508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5GGveI1qMH
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcePYN4YZzo
「認得我嗎？我是許家偉。」508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ02x8wleJ9F
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiBKSqkvX3d
「認得。你是文班的。」508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ15GmsdR2fj
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfCTFlLG6zO
許家偉淺笑，笑容如昔，淡然清雅溫婉。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ00b8s14IQl
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEZfI4r8HLR
閒聊之間，發現他仍然單身。究其原因，他只道難為情。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxByiEDFqrH
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv2sEiDZTxl
「你不值得被愛。」我蔑笑。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxxHzGPuFW1
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2EZ0WnD7lh
四十年過去，許家偉仍是當初那個許家偉。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqGHKOLn2fJ
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuPnKJuUp5r
阿強沒講錯——他的內心不會強大得能夠與我共同面對一切。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxiBDpc0fUc
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNC367O71Sh
「我懂得珍愛自己就可以。」許家偉笑著說。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvosbMryrJe
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr6wevPyDmo
許家偉在認真？他真心認為這是珍愛自己的行徑？508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOwEN2VUbOB
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWQXl8BkWkW
我哭笑不得。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0wDKbOPkfb
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4zxfmeawr3
無意跟他繼續對話。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdV43sLRwDU
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVFrgu9TPls
多寒暄幾句，我和許家偉相互道別，分道揚鑣不復見。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMnvDyObld7
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMEfTOXw3lH
抬頭望天，天陰雨冷，冷入心脾。
然後按「加至主畫面」