我在書枱前呆了大半日。熱茶已涼,但我未嚐半口,心思都在眼前電腦屏幕上——剛輸入的文字不停被刪。字越少,心越亂,人越躁。265Please respect copyright.PENANA72HydmOyyB
265Please respect copyright.PENANAeKcFZvd9vE
不了。受不了。我離座往廚房換茶去。265Please respect copyright.PENANA6zZxQMgESL
265Please respect copyright.PENANAyDlN8O9tkk
廳中老妻瞄我半眼,大概知道發生甚麼事,沒有作聲,繼續看電視。我對她的不表態不勝感激——她以最聰明的方法維護我的尊嚴。265Please respect copyright.PENANA5KT3TpBgpx
265Please respect copyright.PENANAaYxALiuADg
滾水撞上茶葉,水仙香氣隨著冉升白煙溢散開去。265Please respect copyright.PENANArjIGyQvW5O
265Please respect copyright.PENANA0deVeBNifi
壓力似乎一併消散。265Please respect copyright.PENANAjj2LbUfTeu
265Please respect copyright.PENANAD7WSimKVrp
茶盡。我再續杯。265Please respect copyright.PENANAEZR4UhRNFF
265Please respect copyright.PENANAcsOF9FakWF
添茶不是長遠之計——屏幕白頁上始終沒有片言隻字。265Please respect copyright.PENANA627XKxImFL
265Please respect copyright.PENANAHWmlrSUjgJ
嘆一口氣,慨嘆自己太天真可愛。怎麼會相信自己有寫作天分,而且一信就是幾十年。幾十年來,不停寫,不停發表,不停被無視。我只得不停安慰自己說旁人不識貨。265Please respect copyright.PENANA6l12bYgyy5
265Please respect copyright.PENANA4ZaBNicAsh
口不對心。心裡其實清楚自己料子如何。但我還是堅持寫下去。265Please respect copyright.PENANACtYChbhxeq
265Please respect copyright.PENANAExHLRzuC4r
是習慣、面子、尊嚴緣故,更是不想承認自己做了一個長達幾十年的白日夢。265Please respect copyright.PENANASenb5GmVK4
265Please respect copyright.PENANA8Igbu6vAqn
夢醒一場空。265Please respect copyright.PENANATYAHuOnhXV
265Please respect copyright.PENANAgAhf19AoJd
我本平庸,無甚專長,唯獨寫作能力相對身邊友儕略高丁點。丁點而已,卻足以讓我樂透幾十年。265Please respect copyright.PENANAVSdvnJlkLm
265Please respect copyright.PENANAmVEdJecr4E
工作不順利時,我會告訴自己——我的專長不在工作上,所以被罵亦是無可厚非;人際關係不如意時,我會告訴自己——如果世人只能用文字溝通,我該是表達能力最好的人;走倒運時,我會告訴自己——我正在為快要誕生的偉大作品累積靈感……265Please respect copyright.PENANA8nEPw3SK3T
265Please respect copyright.PENANAGWVwVs7AsR
一切都是有意義的。如果我真有寫作天分的話。265Please respect copyright.PENANA7IzcYWmoh2
265Please respect copyright.PENANAaZvsQEHie8
捧著熱茶回到座位。身在心在能力不在。265Please respect copyright.PENANAQ9Gdx8rV8S
265Please respect copyright.PENANAlcZgZTIvTC
在刺眼的屏幕白頁前,我又嘆一口氣。265Please respect copyright.PENANAqyRprZpJzk
265Please respect copyright.PENANAm2NFH5KOLc
我不曾長大,仍是幾十年前那個我,沉浸在中文老師讚賞的我。同學們紛表羨慕我的寫作天份,請教我如何想出精彩故事、練出動人文筆。265Please respect copyright.PENANARwiGrJ4cq1
265Please respect copyright.PENANAqwpETLlKiR
我沾沾自喜。265Please respect copyright.PENANAJ5Mtmt2UvN
265Please respect copyright.PENANAWSrYmlIIUI
細心回想,我當時已覺竅門不在天分,而是努力。努力鑽研文字的運用,努力細味名著佳作當中的韻味,努力思考故事情節起伏,努力觀察分析人世百態……名副其實的將勤補拙。265Please respect copyright.PENANA8WxwjEGTeD
265Please respect copyright.PENANAcyIwLvOF0I
但我沒有向同學們坦白。265Please respect copyright.PENANAaGAygBAqIR
265Please respect copyright.PENANAfW58J3fSMe
因為我喜歡被讚賞的感覺。265Please respect copyright.PENANADFxjFUUYy9
265Please respect copyright.PENANA67FwLQXyoM
努力,努力,努力。265Please respect copyright.PENANA0Pl7qmK0dp
265Please respect copyright.PENANAJhhZgcjcrM
我的寫作技巧與日俱增,亦在多個學屆寫作比賽中獲獎。265Please respect copyright.PENANAArwW6Ek1cM
265Please respect copyright.PENANAnbrLKMw5ri
我以為自己將來鐵定能夠成為作家。265Please respect copyright.PENANAL1em6C3iKE
265Please respect copyright.PENANAN3zIPwsrJU
以為。265Please respect copyright.PENANAq4LpaPcazS
265Please respect copyright.PENANAbxqJ2Y9E3A
告別校園後,我成為一個普通文職。普通收入,普通打扮,普通生活。265Please respect copyright.PENANAVrv23n760I
265Please respect copyright.PENANAnsKcTEEwtw
普通得輕易被取代。普通得難以承受。265Please respect copyright.PENANAGUOKB8UgNs
265Please respect copyright.PENANAddNn4BnEwJ
我不得不告訴自己我是多麼的有寫作天份!我是多麼的獨特!265Please respect copyright.PENANAPaAt6wkxPO
265Please respect copyright.PENANAsxtr8HbNbH
某夜下班回家,我泡了一壺水仙,乘著茶香全情投入寫作世界。沒有外物打擾,我的世界只有我。一切如願。那麼順心,那麼安寧,那麼快樂。265Please respect copyright.PENANADTrETTS6b8
265Please respect copyright.PENANAmg6q4oa8X4
我的作品感動了我。265Please respect copyright.PENANAvYmbT7KRTL
265Please respect copyright.PENANALhBIiSpFP2
我希望藉此找到更多懂我的人。265Please respect copyright.PENANAaIAIJbgSDm
265Please respect copyright.PENANALe3TKNuu7T
幾十年來,不停寫,不停發表,不停被無視。我的世界與真實世界不斷相互碰撞。面對無止境的打擊,我不曾問自己為何堅持。因為一旦心生此等疑問,變相在內心種下「自我質疑」的根苗,一發不可收拾。265Please respect copyright.PENANA5LFsQNL4l5
265Please respect copyright.PENANAzaMQLGbaOt
無法接受自己幾十年堅持建基於一個沒可能實現的夢想。265Please respect copyright.PENANAi0CylJut1m
265Please respect copyright.PENANANXxL3MKYSH
無法承受自己生來就是如此普通、平凡、平庸……265Please respect copyright.PENANAqOWQX89twN
265Please respect copyright.PENANAev3r7KrgNG
熱茶又涼了。265Please respect copyright.PENANAag5v8bIYhU
265Please respect copyright.PENANAHrw8U6tM2f
屏幕白頁上始終沒有片言隻字。265Please respect copyright.PENANAHFpzQPCwtW
265Please respect copyright.PENANAPxxsFCwehM
老妻繼續以不表態維護我的尊嚴。265Please respect copyright.PENANAmm2iZUnuZA
265Please respect copyright.PENANADG3ivdcpe7
我的作品只感動了我。265Please respect copyright.PENANAd8bVKgLgNF
265Please respect copyright.PENANAGaKM1hx3c6
因為我的感受只有我讀得懂。265Please respect copyright.PENANAkfvH5ZrG2r
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雜念集
Author:
天洛卡
ISSUE #95
不成不就(生活 / 寫作)
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READS 261
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