我在書枱前呆了大半日。熱茶已涼,但我未嚐半口,心思都在眼前電腦屏幕上——剛輸入的文字不停被刪。字越少,心越亂,人越躁。282Please respect copyright.PENANAMVnEQxkste
282Please respect copyright.PENANAOK9foNnjdH
不了。受不了。我離座往廚房換茶去。282Please respect copyright.PENANACeZeQziBRF
282Please respect copyright.PENANAF3zdns4COd
廳中老妻瞄我半眼,大概知道發生甚麼事,沒有作聲,繼續看電視。我對她的不表態不勝感激——她以最聰明的方法維護我的尊嚴。282Please respect copyright.PENANAK9IL7Y6WXg
282Please respect copyright.PENANAdbIweh1tMb
滾水撞上茶葉,水仙香氣隨著冉升白煙溢散開去。282Please respect copyright.PENANAQ62OKHToDg
282Please respect copyright.PENANAMijUINPhby
壓力似乎一併消散。282Please respect copyright.PENANAeR153gyLuc
282Please respect copyright.PENANAVsFkAve4ls
茶盡。我再續杯。282Please respect copyright.PENANAzcWbuMaDUV
282Please respect copyright.PENANAI2s6aUfoJb
添茶不是長遠之計——屏幕白頁上始終沒有片言隻字。282Please respect copyright.PENANAIgWb0a880G
282Please respect copyright.PENANAdrSD1ClwWH
嘆一口氣,慨嘆自己太天真可愛。怎麼會相信自己有寫作天分,而且一信就是幾十年。幾十年來,不停寫,不停發表,不停被無視。我只得不停安慰自己說旁人不識貨。282Please respect copyright.PENANALhZNmz9uK9
282Please respect copyright.PENANABlSE9YT1Y8
口不對心。心裡其實清楚自己料子如何。但我還是堅持寫下去。282Please respect copyright.PENANAHsZXMwqjTq
282Please respect copyright.PENANAIpsGbsOl2u
是習慣、面子、尊嚴緣故,更是不想承認自己做了一個長達幾十年的白日夢。282Please respect copyright.PENANAdOoG7r6Suo
282Please respect copyright.PENANA7LMuhsku1i
夢醒一場空。282Please respect copyright.PENANAcbLGAd8R1k
282Please respect copyright.PENANAZppGM7p7XE
我本平庸,無甚專長,唯獨寫作能力相對身邊友儕略高丁點。丁點而已,卻足以讓我樂透幾十年。282Please respect copyright.PENANArofveYvJa1
282Please respect copyright.PENANATpKwZ0elyX
工作不順利時,我會告訴自己——我的專長不在工作上,所以被罵亦是無可厚非;人際關係不如意時,我會告訴自己——如果世人只能用文字溝通,我該是表達能力最好的人;走倒運時,我會告訴自己——我正在為快要誕生的偉大作品累積靈感……282Please respect copyright.PENANA24sWBlxSe4
282Please respect copyright.PENANAutI0tL3mxq
一切都是有意義的。如果我真有寫作天分的話。282Please respect copyright.PENANA5tfyhIZwJg
282Please respect copyright.PENANAOeDNzaUsxT
捧著熱茶回到座位。身在心在能力不在。282Please respect copyright.PENANAP4POxl7pjW
282Please respect copyright.PENANA5sFEK4QMW5
在刺眼的屏幕白頁前,我又嘆一口氣。282Please respect copyright.PENANALvYYajuRPN
282Please respect copyright.PENANASxG5jMcWzv
我不曾長大,仍是幾十年前那個我,沉浸在中文老師讚賞的我。同學們紛表羨慕我的寫作天份,請教我如何想出精彩故事、練出動人文筆。282Please respect copyright.PENANABucJhBqbic
282Please respect copyright.PENANA3DIF7tOzqU
我沾沾自喜。282Please respect copyright.PENANAeh3wco7aiS
282Please respect copyright.PENANATGsfz4Ey6f
細心回想,我當時已覺竅門不在天分,而是努力。努力鑽研文字的運用,努力細味名著佳作當中的韻味,努力思考故事情節起伏,努力觀察分析人世百態……名副其實的將勤補拙。282Please respect copyright.PENANAlRR757ZXw8
282Please respect copyright.PENANAABuvRPImwr
但我沒有向同學們坦白。282Please respect copyright.PENANAsldrnuOPEE
282Please respect copyright.PENANAchpMxTiYf6
因為我喜歡被讚賞的感覺。282Please respect copyright.PENANAkBlwKzofzF
282Please respect copyright.PENANAm4RuIYuPcR
努力,努力,努力。282Please respect copyright.PENANAwYWSTMIIhP
282Please respect copyright.PENANAVfEQ0thjrl
我的寫作技巧與日俱增,亦在多個學屆寫作比賽中獲獎。282Please respect copyright.PENANAAPlyyXX6Ae
282Please respect copyright.PENANAIXeWIfHebK
我以為自己將來鐵定能夠成為作家。282Please respect copyright.PENANA16WrB5Gp8i
282Please respect copyright.PENANA65ZRRutQCb
以為。282Please respect copyright.PENANAnpdhCI3zLO
282Please respect copyright.PENANAAuum3P4ke6
告別校園後,我成為一個普通文職。普通收入,普通打扮,普通生活。282Please respect copyright.PENANAo3ZdnRtaBk
282Please respect copyright.PENANA1eQVHSoZCe
普通得輕易被取代。普通得難以承受。282Please respect copyright.PENANAtoNTkHc6PK
282Please respect copyright.PENANAUG2iK6dXRT
我不得不告訴自己我是多麼的有寫作天份!我是多麼的獨特!282Please respect copyright.PENANAAyT2qREspU
282Please respect copyright.PENANAL2P4HDvWdX
某夜下班回家,我泡了一壺水仙,乘著茶香全情投入寫作世界。沒有外物打擾,我的世界只有我。一切如願。那麼順心,那麼安寧,那麼快樂。282Please respect copyright.PENANAF5KkvqNBdc
282Please respect copyright.PENANAjpiNl7ZyEY
我的作品感動了我。282Please respect copyright.PENANAAZcs2DVVIZ
282Please respect copyright.PENANARSrWoUhYwY
我希望藉此找到更多懂我的人。282Please respect copyright.PENANARpEx83fv1h
282Please respect copyright.PENANAw4HmnM2HVl
幾十年來,不停寫,不停發表,不停被無視。我的世界與真實世界不斷相互碰撞。面對無止境的打擊,我不曾問自己為何堅持。因為一旦心生此等疑問,變相在內心種下「自我質疑」的根苗,一發不可收拾。282Please respect copyright.PENANAhnZqNIgnDr
282Please respect copyright.PENANA8rqhw9aZlG
無法接受自己幾十年堅持建基於一個沒可能實現的夢想。282Please respect copyright.PENANAOKGKQdOSNy
282Please respect copyright.PENANAGopuY9yU9t
無法承受自己生來就是如此普通、平凡、平庸……282Please respect copyright.PENANAx9uV5FDbkJ
282Please respect copyright.PENANA2csN3PXev4
熱茶又涼了。282Please respect copyright.PENANAscayNWtRBu
282Please respect copyright.PENANA7HnuvsKuev
屏幕白頁上始終沒有片言隻字。282Please respect copyright.PENANAbMo9UQg6s3
282Please respect copyright.PENANAOBPOvGtAbc
老妻繼續以不表態維護我的尊嚴。282Please respect copyright.PENANAB0e63pxRlm
282Please respect copyright.PENANAmFhWO0f01x
我的作品只感動了我。282Please respect copyright.PENANArptnlI9cJj
282Please respect copyright.PENANAKw1c6F9Khu
因為我的感受只有我讀得懂。282Please respect copyright.PENANAaORyWVKTV5
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雜念集
Author:
天洛卡
ISSUE #95
不成不就(生活 / 寫作)
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READS 278
BOOKMARKS 36
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