
二十年前——534Please respect copyright.PENANARgSvjCsJOP
534Please respect copyright.PENANAq0SFyLRTi6
小荷是個人見人愛的六歲小女孩,胖胖白白的臉配上一雙水靈大眼。她每天穿著荷媽親手做的一雙由彩色布碎拼湊而成的小鞋子到處玩耍,有時會跟同村的孩子們跑上山頭採菇,有時會為獨居老人送上新鮮採摘的漂亮花朵,有時會在湖邊遊蕩。534Please respect copyright.PENANAVN49DnjDmt
534Please respect copyright.PENANAjOiWM31a5L
荷媽曾多次提醒她切勿走近湖邊,但小荷偏偏喜歡看蓮花,說蓮花是仙女的化身。荷媽忙著預備晚餐,不甚耐煩地反譏小荷幼稚。小荷不堪被譏諷,激動嚷著會帶蓮花仙女回家,然後頭也不回衝出家門。534Please respect copyright.PENANAJ63URocli6
534Please respect copyright.PENANAllDezy2xRO
傍晚,晚餐備好了,小荷還沒有回家。荷媽心緒不寧,深怕小荷遇上意外。她挑燈外出,急步走往湖邊。534Please respect copyright.PENANAlzGO9zSNw1
534Please respect copyright.PENANAKLUbRNtbTm
小荷不在。534Please respect copyright.PENANAewuNQQ64Vt
534Please respect copyright.PENANAh83dcu2aa8
荷媽的心頭涼了大截,連忙前去村長家求助。沒多久,大伙兒在湖邊叢林間搜索。534Please respect copyright.PENANAfahpOqT0La
534Please respect copyright.PENANA1lAsZpbiQB
無發現。534Please respect copyright.PENANAmRzSF1KNSd
534Please respect copyright.PENANACGdMXt1YyL
村長打算重新部署搜索行動之際,有人指著湖中央的一朵蓮花大叫:「看!湖中那朵蓮花上有一隻鞋!」534Please respect copyright.PENANARYTQ3TQWbU
534Please respect copyright.PENANABouhayxSYM
大伙兒定睛細看,卻因光線不足而未能確定那是否一隻鞋。荷媽救女心切,不理眾人勸阻跳入湖中游向那朵蓮花。游著、游著,她的身影突然消失了。534Please respect copyright.PENANA58f5OTZnR2
534Please respect copyright.PENANATw2zrF3ZBA
為免有更多人命犧牲,村民只得待天亮才落水找荷媽。不出所料,荷媽的腳踝被水草纏住,溺斃湖底。村民認得蓮花上的鞋子確是屬於小荷,但找遍湖底亦找不到她的身影。唯有繼續在林間搜索。無果。個多月後,眾人認為找到小荷的機會渺茫,於是停止搜索。534Please respect copyright.PENANAdhN7tPkP7p
534Please respect copyright.PENANAMt781UaEro
村裡開始流傳蓮花仙女帶走小荷的傳聞……534Please respect copyright.PENANAezj9eYPdkA
534Please respect copyright.PENANAzBYefWSHB1
「那是在你出生前發生的事情?」阿夏一邊聽得著迷,一邊望著車窗外的油油綠草地,驚嘆著這寧靜山村背後竟有這種可怕事。534Please respect copyright.PENANALdNeMCQiJr
534Please respect copyright.PENANAGrWgqzDVJ4
「不。當年我十歲,和小荷挺熟絡。」芙兒沒心情欣賞風景,逕自倚著椅背,微微仰首凝視車廂天花那色調偏冷的米光燈。534Please respect copyright.PENANAa6PnRgdOeT
534Please respect copyright.PENANAt5AspgDXZB
「小荷失蹤一事是你當警察的原因嗎?」阿夏與芙兒作伴數年,不難看出芙兒心事重重,尤其今趟「回鄉之旅」是離鄉別井十多年的芙兒主動提出,可見其別具意義。534Please respect copyright.PENANAOF3Wo9Mrzh
534Please respect copyright.PENANAr2v4YTEB9y
「嗯……一部份吧。不能說是完全因為她,也不能說是與這事情毫無關係。」芙兒苦笑,些許後悔無故主動提及這大煞風景的陳年往事。回鄉目的不是向各位鄉親苦老宣佈自己與阿夏的婚訊和設喜宴嗎?不是要歡天喜地、眉開眼笑嗎?534Please respect copyright.PENANAaY2cZ73yA7
534Please respect copyright.PENANAbkW4s2op2X
「不管如何……」阿夏是個聰明人,明明對案件內容細節有興趣,但也知道要適可宜止。他輕拍芙兒的手背,安慰道:「事情已然過去,多想無益。」534Please respect copyright.PENANAJSXugRYTx3
534Please respect copyright.PENANAqI71CcLaql
「是的。過去了。」芙兒吁一口氣,似是釋懷,奈何揪心的感覺難以單憑幾句安慰說話連根拔起。534Please respect copyright.PENANAOZv6rD9ziE
534Please respect copyright.PENANAknpxZO0UQJ
顛著、簸著,好不容易來到村口。大城市發展一日千里,隱世小村亦逃不過時間巨輪的輾壓,已然根據政府的規劃建議打造成「山村旅遊區」。生來就是城市人的阿夏未曾到過農村,覺得這地方別具風味,但在村內待了十多年的芙兒卻嗤之以鼻:不也就是電視劇裡的假農村嗎?534Please respect copyright.PENANAHP0u8R6SXA
534Please respect copyright.PENANAJOw7e0iwKJ
驀地,一個想法在芙兒腦海掠過。534Please respect copyright.PENANAVyPXwsNZzf
534Please respect copyright.PENANAOjpVBTEVwb
「阿夏。」芙兒拉拉阿夏的手袖:「我們先去蓮花池那邊看看吧。」534Please respect copyright.PENANAJzXXNUXwGh
534Please respect copyright.PENANAzXYDjNqTN2
不出芙兒所料,蓮花池已面目全非。池邊的泥地與草叢變成了磚路與涼亭,上了漆的鐵製圍欄整齊繞池而立,蓮花換了個品種,顏色更亮麗奪目,尺寸亦比以往的大上數倍。唯一不變的是頭頂上的烈日,仍然熾熱得惡毒。534Please respect copyright.PENANAHyHI7cKFT4
534Please respect copyright.PENANAdViJw1bR27
芙兒逕自繞著蓮花池逆時針方向拐圈踱步。時間彷彿隨著步伐逆行,日落月出,瞬間回到二十年前那個夜晚……534Please respect copyright.PENANAITcKypgAI9
534Please respect copyright.PENANAjrAMFUJ4uw
「我帶芙兒外出散步散心。」晚飯後,芙爸病懨懨地對妻子說。534Please respect copyright.PENANAuw7FLZssM6
534Please respect copyright.PENANAxdwfJ1tlST
「嗯。」芙媽忙於照顧病兒,分身不暇。534Please respect copyright.PENANAuirG68AsEk
534Please respect copyright.PENANA1yYS25zQRX
夏夜有月,月下有蟬,蟬聲擾人又煩人。路上,芙爸眉頭鎖得更深。芙兒乖乖不作聲,默默尾隨他快步走。534Please respect copyright.PENANAQZGcBAXw6n
534Please respect copyright.PENANAml2ODmxCXW
「芙兒,你愛媽媽嗎?」534Please respect copyright.PENANACTzjLyHdgK
534Please respect copyright.PENANAdsDSWgZxmf
「愛。」534Please respect copyright.PENANAHBKGqqXc11
534Please respect copyright.PENANA3B8SWQ8pNg
「你愛爸爸嗎?」534Please respect copyright.PENANAGLo8OShrTb
534Please respect copyright.PENANAomfMdCFiF5
「愛。」534Please respect copyright.PENANATNqlE65W0F
534Please respect copyright.PENANAhgPDjK6tBY
「你愛哥哥嗎?」534Please respect copyright.PENANAyCyN2qXXAs
534Please respect copyright.PENANAHwLmvAYkQk
芙兒心裡一寒,不自已停下腳步——她早前無意間發現爸爸向前任村長秘密查詢有關人口販子的事。難道爸爸為了替哥哥籌措醫藥費而打算賣掉她?534Please respect copyright.PENANA0kB1VpuP67
534Please respect copyright.PENANAR3HKjoL3yG
「你愛我嗎?」芙兒無力反問。534Please respect copyright.PENANAdeW2WVLAPt
534Please respect copyright.PENANAIlGyPWkPGI
芙爸沒有回答,繼續低頭開步走。534Please respect copyright.PENANAAtswyTLoMu
534Please respect copyright.PENANAVy7QhdCwa8
芙兒想要跑回家去,雙腳卻不由自主隨著爸爸走,縱然明知那是不歸路。534Please respect copyright.PENANAkZVyv9qCeu
534Please respect copyright.PENANAdLvbKTjD2U
途經蓮花池,巧遇小荷。芙爸倏忽衝前打昏小荷。芙兒明白爸爸的意圖,連忙拉住他。534Please respect copyright.PENANAUgsPd2uSZL
534Please respect copyright.PENANA1UqMui1qiw
「小荷是無辜的!」534Please respect copyright.PENANAUoVlbS82r2
534Please respect copyright.PENANAa9v8BWOJKX
「但我捨不得你啊!」534Please respect copyright.PENANAnl0q5Agizj
534Please respect copyright.PENANA8NwKxX7sTP
芙兒不期然鬆開了手——她聽得出話裡的割捨與堅決。爸爸向來善良老實,日子艱難亦不會做鼠竊狗偷的勾當。奈何今次關乎兒子的生命安危和女兒的命運!他寧可割捨良知,亦要保住家人。534Please respect copyright.PENANA3vC2eCzAok
534Please respect copyright.PENANA6C1Oz6CMHU
芙兒理解了、妥協了,芙爸眼神反倒更為悲憤不安。他脫下小荷的一隻鞋,使勁拋向蓮花池。鞋子剛好不偏不倚落在池中央的一朵大蓮花上。534Please respect copyright.PENANAIyBDwAcaP0
534Please respect copyright.PENANA494qMEEDcW
父女兩人不約而同望向那朵大蓮花。純白蓮花被夜色沾污成帶有瘀青的淡灰色,悉才看來色彩繽紛的小鞋子亦被迫融入夜色,成了一個若隱若現的小黑點。534Please respect copyright.PENANA33RGZ5IMr1
534Please respect copyright.PENANAod3fHlqoQN
小黑點,人生裡的大污點。534Please respect copyright.PENANAvX7wd42k7G
534Please respect copyright.PENANASJYI3jxUqB
來到約定的地方。人口販子沒有芙兒想像中的鼠頭獐目。他相貌平凡,打扮平凡,舉止平凡,有如田裡的一顆穀粒,獨一無二卻平凡普通。534Please respect copyright.PENANAdYxYzC8PwS
534Please respect copyright.PENANA1WU9ulVG3W
二人無聲的奉上小荷,默默的收下金錢,不能見光的交易在無光的樹林中順利完成。534Please respect copyright.PENANALKzTfYq8KP
534Please respect copyright.PENANAd7uqA2T1n3
芙兒自此在這夜池邊中無限輪迴。534Please respect copyright.PENANAVF4g1s5ezM
534Please respect copyright.PENANAx0Lds4EgUx
晝如夜,夜是夜。此人是小荷,那人是小荷,異裝同臉。池中有蓮,家中有蓮,路中有蓮,蓮上有鞋。534Please respect copyright.PENANACgwcUMjPic
534Please respect copyright.PENANAbmsSKwuwWL
瘋了。芙兒的世界瘋了。534Please respect copyright.PENANALlOk3rPqST
534Please respect copyright.PENANAUNFZxNs5mR
需要救贖。無人能救。只得自救。534Please respect copyright.PENANAHnMaUIkNEh
534Please respect copyright.PENANA9coIfUH7q4
救哥哥,犧牲小荷。救自己,犧牲誰?534Please respect copyright.PENANAotpUKzpKbZ
534Please respect copyright.PENANAg4nmttvQqs
「記住,賣掉小荷的人是我,不是你。」534Please respect copyright.PENANAY6fV48cJ0C
534Please respect copyright.PENANAFLwB5B5aTk
「我沒有阻止你。」534Please respect copyright.PENANAJm1mU6bWV5
534Please respect copyright.PENANA2C9IW4dq9F
「阻止得了麼?」534Please respect copyright.PENANAYjatHVGkk6
534Please respect copyright.PENANAaX9sySf4q3
「至少,我該要嘗試。」534Please respect copyright.PENANAH2pYUvzuaf
534Please respect copyright.PENANA2qULgSghnC
「嘗試有用麼?」534Please respect copyright.PENANAF2CPIKM18i
534Please respect copyright.PENANAUrBAHt4MnY
芙兒如夢初醒——芙爸企圖獨自扛起一切責任,救贖芙兒。她不自控笑著流淚,內心得到救贖的同時又跌落另一深淵——自己得救,爸爸犧牲。534Please respect copyright.PENANAFTfpyFnbxQ
534Please respect copyright.PENANAYIi1pOTc9o
真的得到了救贖嗎?不肯定。534Please respect copyright.PENANAxL6N4quyNV
534Please respect copyright.PENANARKEi4snkyc
她離鄉到城市尋找工作,輾轉當上警察。對失蹤案尤感興趣。找人,找救贖。找到人,找不到救贖。534Please respect copyright.PENANA4WxeslJBY3
534Please respect copyright.PENANAs5ooqWBu9A
收到來自家鄉的信,提及哥哥病逝。她丟掉信件,假裝未曾收到。根本沒意義,根本誰也沒能得救,無論犧牲多大。534Please respect copyright.PENANAC2kiCU7sOM
534Please respect copyright.PENANAXAtErqMdh4
芙媽來了,問芙兒為何不出席哥哥的喪禮。她說不知道哥哥逝世一事。芙媽低頭掩面大笑,笑了很久,然後哭了很久。「你爸說你不會為此回來,我說你不是狠心的人。原來我們都錯了——你根本不知情。」534Please respect copyright.PENANA6KeQvgi0p9
534Please respect copyright.PENANAtxga8tuVSZ
有甚麼值得笑或哭?芙兒不明白。或許媽媽也不明白,純粹為笑而笑、為哭而哭,無謂卻有為。至少她的情緒得以紓緩,面容不再繃緊。534Please respect copyright.PENANAoQPvGGCBta
534Please respect copyright.PENANAP0EjwrscAm
數年後,芙媽死了。芙兒同樣沒有出席喪禮。她向上司請假數天,躲在家裡,足不出戶。不斷憶起媽媽當日又哭又笑的癲狂模樣。真羨慕。沒有隱藏,沒有秘密。534Please respect copyright.PENANAOoDGiZKW6f
534Please respect copyright.PENANAY11JUSrqpt
假期完結後,芙兒重投工作。警局來了一個新丁,名叫阿夏,比芙兒年輕數載。他長有一張孩子臉,胖胖白白,水靈大眼,像小荷。芙兒的目光離不開阿夏,主動接近他、勾搭他。二人由相識至同睡一床,僅是三天內的事。534Please respect copyright.PENANAgv6OAIFAJd
534Please respect copyright.PENANA1MGm0qmNy1
阿夏不解。534Please respect copyright.PENANAy0LnoLnRYb
534Please respect copyright.PENANAMRc4UNQTHw
「你不似是水性楊花的女人。」534Please respect copyright.PENANALgcl3s3jsg
534Please respect copyright.PENANAw3j6BmeiTS
「你不似是諸事八卦的男人。」534Please respect copyright.PENANAGbK0lhfWCC
534Please respect copyright.PENANAXvtsLRB6me
阿夏開始追求芙兒。芙兒不接受,卻偶爾與他同睡。為何不愛他卻會與他睡?是發洩,是鬱悶,或是對往事的情感投射?芙兒解釋不了,亦不想解釋——找到解釋之時,另一個問題就會隨即出現。534Please respect copyright.PENANALMDOLS40NU
534Please respect copyright.PENANAcBefa4aeY3
繼續同睡,繼續被追求,繼續找人找救贖。生活不過如此,平平凡凡,無無謂謂。534Please respect copyright.PENANAfeVBFZh5CO
534Please respect copyright.PENANAdlQ3A2w2sF
數年後的某天,芙兒收到來自兒時鄰居的一通電話。對方說芙爸病重,行將就木,希望她回鄉探望。534Please respect copyright.PENANAbdCOoRRUns
534Please respect copyright.PENANANlz9T1ihKn
「是他希望我回去,或是大家希望我回去探望他?」534Please respect copyright.PENANAlgmWJDV3fr
534Please respect copyright.PENANAmaPLY2WOjq
「他堅持不要通知你,但大家還是決定要告訴你。」534Please respect copyright.PENANAOZoZlNq5wO
534Please respect copyright.PENANAfayGUxRLvO
「我明白了。」534Please respect copyright.PENANAc1AlHTa7oD
534Please respect copyright.PENANAcahEvd4taR
當晚,芙兒跟阿夏說要盡快回鄉宣佈婚訊、設喜宴。534Please respect copyright.PENANActbWLmNvP3
534Please respect copyright.PENANAd9E2jTkkn2
「你跟誰結婚?」阿夏詫異。534Please respect copyright.PENANAIiG7zJj76g
534Please respect copyright.PENANAXZblLHw4rj
「你。」芙兒明白阿夏的不明白。534Please respect copyright.PENANAYYyp2Ky0Wv
534Please respect copyright.PENANAJ5m1cd7YDQ
顛著、簸著,好不容易來到村口。大城市發展一日千里,隱世小村亦逃不過時間巨輪的輾壓,已然根據政府的規劃建議打造成「山村旅遊區」。生來就是城市人的阿夏未曾到過農村,覺得這地方別具風味,但在村內待了十多年的芙兒卻嗤之以鼻:不也就是電視劇裡的假農村嗎?534Please respect copyright.PENANAgvbuWHlejU
534Please respect copyright.PENANAl2CN9W4sgQ
驀地,一個想法在芙兒腦海掠過。534Please respect copyright.PENANAKoBlYbNX1D
534Please respect copyright.PENANAZED0vMzbyR
「阿夏。」芙兒拉拉阿夏的手袖:「我們先去蓮花池那邊看看吧。」534Please respect copyright.PENANAiuW00fgdAI
534Please respect copyright.PENANAoKN0ebn9Xl
不出芙兒所料,蓮花池已面目全非。池邊的泥地與草叢變成了磚路與涼亭,上了漆的鐵製圍欄整齊繞池而立,蓮花換了個品種,顏色更亮麗奪目,尺寸亦比以往的大上數倍。唯一不變的是頭頂上的烈日,仍然熾熱得惡毒。534Please respect copyright.PENANASaKKEPzJgc
534Please respect copyright.PENANAzcE8j2dWr9
芙兒逕自繞著蓮花池逆時針方向拐圈踱步。踱踱踱,時間有可能隨著步伐逆轉,帶她回到二十年前的那個晚上嗎?若明知結果,她還是會不阻止爸爸賣掉小荷嗎?534Please respect copyright.PENANAWTGOeNpLOb
534Please respect copyright.PENANARLVTTIy1iv
老家陋宅裡,趁著阿夏上廁所的空檔,芙兒湊近芙爸耳邊直接問:「若明知結果,你還是會賣掉小荷嗎?」534Please respect copyright.PENANAfAOWose2wZ
534Please respect copyright.PENANA7kw21JVOCW
「會。」氣若柔絲的芙爸斬釘截鐵:「因為我是當爸的。」534Please respect copyright.PENANA7GayAG9iV1
534Please respect copyright.PENANA7piWQXuyJa
「若沒有遇上小荷,你會賣掉我嗎?」534Please respect copyright.PENANASneKawQhvk
534Please respect copyright.PENANA6IGfv79pgL
「會。因為你們兄妹倆都會活著。活著才會有希望。」534Please respect copyright.PENANAcHavz3FzHU
534Please respect copyright.PENANA5WN3jYbRnC
芙兒大受刺激,轉身奪門而出。534Please respect copyright.PENANAwhdDoFUwUV
534Please respect copyright.PENANA69zdNoPdPz
夏夜有月,月下有蟬,蟬聲擾人又煩人。路上行人疏落,卻異裝同臉,小荷的臉。路中倏忽生出白蓮朵朵,蓮上皆有小彩鞋一隻。芙兒知道自己瘋了,眼前盡是幻覺。理智脫軌,她不再恐懼,像個十歲的少女那樣跳脫輕盈,一步踏一蓮,來到池邊。534Please respect copyright.PENANAUXAK6HerCO
534Please respect copyright.PENANArEtfwz0roz
池邊有人,像小荷,像芙爸,像人口販子,像阿夏。她握著一隻彩色小鞋,木無表情直盯池中那朵大蓮花。芙兒走近女子,女子報以微笑,遞上手中小鞋。534Please respect copyright.PENANAAj2YHPvZEW
534Please respect copyright.PENANAzLx7U2smmB
芙兒接過它,模仿爸爸當晚的姿勢,以完美的拋物線弧度拋出小鞋。小鞋不偏不倚剛好落在池中央的蓮花上,有如二十年前的那夜。純白蓮花被夜色沾污成帶有瘀青的淡灰色,悉才看來色彩繽紛的小鞋子亦被迫融入夜色,成了一個若隱若現的小黑點。534Please respect copyright.PENANA0ia6LS8XUV
534Please respect copyright.PENANAT7tpPdbhaM
女人哈哈大笑起來,笑聲豁然開朗。芙兒腳下的白蓮和小鞋驀地消失隱去,唯獨女子依然完好站在面前。笑過以後,女子轉身離開,身影沒入林間不復見。534Please respect copyright.PENANAiD8rErl7CW
534Please respect copyright.PENANA0ze3YcQ1aH
芙兒惘然——她不肯定對方是幻覺或是確切存在的真人。534Please respect copyright.PENANA3UMOCR83VS
534Please respect copyright.PENANAbZUvb8Jx8F
數日後,芙爸與世長辭。534Please respect copyright.PENANAKhWVp2mspl
534Please respect copyright.PENANAoMmI2wNftm
「既然不需要沖喜,你還會跟我結婚嗎?」534Please respect copyright.PENANAQsq6VnyZaF
534Please respect copyright.PENANAeHun6zAO8y
「你想跟我結婚嗎?」534Please respect copyright.PENANAwfovbF9Wpv
534Please respect copyright.PENANAvT56fNfOcV
「想。我愛你。」534Please respect copyright.PENANAKWpF4FdsJ1
534Please respect copyright.PENANAwkLoBzDuow
「那就繼續吧。」534Please respect copyright.PENANAa3hz9QaQIV
534Please respect copyright.PENANAGa5ABIhjv9
喜慶夜,大排筵席。此人是小荷,那人是小荷,新郎是小荷,老爺是小荷,奶奶是小荷,滿堂皆是小荷。芙兒帶醉喜極而泣,感激小荷前來祝福她。534Please respect copyright.PENANASWQro38SwI
534Please respect copyright.PENANAhcgEVnXLdM
宴後,賓客散去。醉得幾近失去意識的芙兒被攙扶到新房去。滾燙的臉龐忽爾涼涼的。她知道有人為她用濕毛巾抹臉抹汗。534Please respect copyright.PENANATFgGrABWrJ
534Please respect copyright.PENANAVjxVibW4a6
「謝謝你……小荷……」534Please respect copyright.PENANASK9qlFxK9w
534Please respect copyright.PENANAa9P0ZpOI4M
「不用客氣……」534Please respect copyright.PENANA2S0U2R0ccJ
534Please respect copyright.PENANArVCTWCtDiq
說著說著,阿夏哭了。晶瑩淚水沿著胖白的臉頰下滑,水靈大眼楚楚可憐。像小荷。