2163年10月3日,上午十點,商業中心B區329Please respect copyright.PENANAuxMKlnKZoj
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「小綠姊。」329Please respect copyright.PENANAC7QkRk2uuF
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「怎麼了?羅俊。」329Please respect copyright.PENANAQ3wlrRp66j
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「不,沒什麼,只是……」329Please respect copyright.PENANAQAEMWDOWJ2
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羅俊的聲音從戒指傳來,聽起來很擔心。329Please respect copyright.PENANApau7niW5YR
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「小綠姊,妳不撐傘嗎?找地方躲雨也好。」329Please respect copyright.PENANAV1dPeMzlli
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「不用了,謝謝關心。」329Please respect copyright.PENANAcEhOCdhbAP
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「可是……」羅俊猶豫三秒,「算了,先這樣吧,我會幫妳留意。」329Please respect copyright.PENANArPu0GSFV1g
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謝綠又說一次謝謝,通訊中斷。四周除了雨聲,和雨打在玻璃、金屬、水泥的聲音外,沒有其它。謝綠淋著雨,一個人在暗巷待命,世界越來越安靜。329Please respect copyright.PENANAf1vdzXiwIl
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「……。」329Please respect copyright.PENANAjKubkLr6Ko
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上次開會,大家問白絃是誰抓的,里奧終於說出那個名字:郭凝羽。329Please respect copyright.PENANALD5lFBLvsX
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謝綠知道這個人,因為她的刀是郭凝羽給的,她的武學是郭凝羽教的。從小陪伴自己的「郭老師」,謝綠不知道那個人是她的祖母,還是一隻蜘蛛。329Please respect copyright.PENANAkHvGrK4vQZ
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「……。」329Please respect copyright.PENANAg9Ys3BDJci
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好混亂。329Please respect copyright.PENANAinFFw8feur
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謝綠摀著臉,用濕漉漉的手,遮住濕漉漉的眼睛。329Please respect copyright.PENANA0LXtqT3eKs
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回憶、情感、身分、血緣……像糾纏的耳機線,怎樣也解不開。329Please respect copyright.PENANAMGY2yEAzdh
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好混亂。329Please respect copyright.PENANAyB70aplGiL
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「老師!」329Please respect copyright.PENANAtZqsge3iRj
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她聽到自己的聲音,那時她還很小。329Please respect copyright.PENANAdQnwkOMafy
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「老師!我不想揮木刀了,我想拿真刀!」329Please respect copyright.PENANArNFGQV8jgL
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武場是她喜歡的地方。凡是「郭老師」來的日子,謝綠都充滿幹勁,展現自己的練習成果,希望得到老師稱讚。329Please respect copyright.PENANAapVnFUTJbh
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不過,郭凝羽的稱讚,最多就是拍手。謝綠知道,郭老師不太說話、眼睛看不見,但她能用其他方式,判斷謝綠的力道、方向、速度是否恰當,是非常厲害的人,謝綠很崇拜她。329Please respect copyright.PENANAFmq6KYtpoE
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「老師?」小謝綠拿著木刀,再問一次:「我可以拿真刀了嗎?」329Please respect copyright.PENANAKcbX7ylNVP
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郭凝羽搖頭。329Please respect copyright.PENANAM3HUAAWb2r
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「為什麼?我表現不好嗎?」小謝綠低頭,「我每天都有練習,到底是哪裡不好……」329Please respect copyright.PENANA6lPK2llitr
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郭凝羽的手放到她頭上。329Please respect copyright.PENANATT0cwj6Cko
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「小綠。」329Please respect copyright.PENANA45BBOFRbCO
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她總是在笑。那一次也是,閉著眼睛笑。329Please respect copyright.PENANAHX8bdlcC3q
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「妳是掠食者,需要獵物。」329Please respect copyright.PENANAdCMS604UlD
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「不要織網,自己去找。」329Please respect copyright.PENANA6sIr7m9KzD
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回憶到此,嘎然停止。那是郭凝羽說過最長的話,令謝綠印象深刻。329Please respect copyright.PENANATdUYhUFTLO
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「不要織網……」329Please respect copyright.PENANA4PKRB0tjqr
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自從知道郭凝羽的身分,謝綠一直在想:為什麼郭凝羽沒有把她變成蜘蛛?她沒有蜘蛛糖,也沒和「笑臉」共鳴。除了郭凝羽的武藝,謝綠沒繼承到任何東西。329Please respect copyright.PENANALWZEJUq5N4
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「聽好了,小綠。」329Please respect copyright.PENANAy16x7dCyXK
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說到繼承,謝綠又想起一個人,這次是父親。329Please respect copyright.PENANA3ySMiIu4GK
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「黑色衣服、藍色褲子,戴著帽子的男人。」329Please respect copyright.PENANAGq4voaUcSz
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父親不曾罵她,也不曾在她面前笑。謝綠厭惡謝氏,卻不討厭謝照顏,父親其實給了她很多。謝綠能和郭凝羽學武,也是謝照顏在背後牽線。329Please respect copyright.PENANA6xGK53pdGo
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「給妳一個時辰。」329Please respect copyright.PENANAmGlkJYlZYm
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「把他帶回來。」329Please respect copyright.PENANAGqk1oB0t1l
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雨中,謝綠拔出她的雙刀,刀身映出她的臉,表情比平時僵硬、淡薄,眼睛像蜥蜴一樣,露出冷冷的光。329Please respect copyright.PENANAsvqXXidyCz
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此刀名為永晝和永夜,源自它們最早的主人──西漢的少數民族,一對逐水草而居的孿生兄妹。西元前119年,衛青和霍去病率領大軍、跨漠長征,永晝和永夜的家園被毀,兩人因為戰亂分開。哥哥僥倖活命,留在塞北伺機復仇;妹妹逃到中原,意外和漢人變成朋友。329Please respect copyright.PENANAY9e1MAHu0L
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陰錯陽差,兄妹倆變成敵人,在昔日的家園刀刃相向。妹妹死了,永晝戰勝永夜,悲痛欲絕的哥哥無法接受,遂拿起永夜的刀,在妹妹的屍首旁自刎而盡。329Please respect copyright.PENANA7T2YojV0D8
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兩人同年同月同日生,亦同年同月同日死。傳說,兄妹倆的靈魂寄宿於刀上,如果沒有一起使用,單憑其中一把,連稻草都割不斷。329Please respect copyright.PENANAfS3z04ZPSv
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謝綠第一次使用它們,是一個剛入秋的夜晚,那天的雨也很大。謝照顏替郭凝羽轉達:永晝和永夜,生前是大漠最厲害的獵手,沒有獵物能從他們眼皮下逃脫──過去是,現在是,未來也是。329Please respect copyright.PENANAnOgojr9W6m
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「妳是掠食者,需要獵物。」329Please respect copyright.PENANARhNee1Qkf1
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「不要織網,自己去找。」329Please respect copyright.PENANA7l6GEsp82N
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收起刀,回到現實。全身濕透的謝綠走到遮雨棚下,確認沒有攝影機和竊聽器,她才摸摸戒指,打給高宇維。329Please respect copyright.PENANAAzxaclOBfE
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「小綠,怎麼了?」329Please respect copyright.PENANAzbFulEnzMB
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「宇維少爺。」329Please respect copyright.PENANAB5VafDEbjC
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謝綠不開場、不包裝,問題直擊核心:329Please respect copyright.PENANADS4g1IHdMF
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「您把郭老師視為敵人,只因為她是蜘蛛嗎?」329Please respect copyright.PENANA0ukOyw903N
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「……。」329Please respect copyright.PENANArBoNVr5gaN
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雨水在謝綠腳邊流淌,積累成水窪。這附近很少下這麼大的雨,彷彿整座城市都在哭泣。329Please respect copyright.PENANAYfLPJAEccX
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「當然──不是。」329Please respect copyright.PENANAa9JSCboM0Y
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高宇維沉默,然後像投降似地,嘆了一口氣。329Please respect copyright.PENANAIaMsAN1zp8
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「也是,都這個時候,確實該告訴妳了。」329Please respect copyright.PENANAfmoCmioDlb
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謝綠等他的答案,沒想到高宇維給她的,是這樣一個答案──329Please respect copyright.PENANANcTILXdKwM
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「凝羽是我的妻子。」329Please respect copyright.PENANALVjYUS50YW
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「高宇維是假名,我的本名是欲雪,謝欲雪。」329Please respect copyright.PENANAXFFEn4NCkD
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終於說出口,高宇維感覺輕鬆許多,但另一端的謝綠沒有;她的腦袋一度當機、一片空白,思緒差點跟不上。329Please respect copyright.PENANACtz6K7TATN
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「妳父親,他原本的名字是謝篙,我給他取的。」高宇維又說。329Please respect copyright.PENANAcrFcanmjTS
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「等等,宇維少爺,我不明白……!」329Please respect copyright.PENANA1sp6mnJX4u
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謝綠嚇得摀住嘴巴。高宇維知道,這女孩很聰明,她不可能不明白。329Please respect copyright.PENANARfiMwVEV7C
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「教妳泡紅茶的那天,我是真的很高興。」高宇維用似乎在笑的聲音說:「我竟然能和孫女──和篙的女兒這樣相處。要是被他知道,篙一定會很生氣,畢竟他討厭我。」329Please respect copyright.PENANA4F5wiQiez0
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「……。」329Please respect copyright.PENANAGbNmKS7cdO
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雨一直下,令人窒息地猛烈下著,謝綠周圍的空氣充滿濕氣,濃密又寂靜。329Please respect copyright.PENANATGWX3re51C
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「我很愛她,小綠。」329Please respect copyright.PENANAxvhL1yIAq2
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「我始終戴著婚戒,凝羽是我的摯愛。」329Please respect copyright.PENANAYPi5wzSGeo
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高宇維的心也在哭。329Please respect copyright.PENANA81jyYvkUMJ
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謝綠抬頭,看著那朵巨大的黑雲,看滂沱的淚水打在上方,沿著遮雨棚滴下。329Please respect copyright.PENANAd8CS3ieG3c
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「你們,發生了什麼?」329Please respect copyright.PENANAmEoBGzGoH3
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謝綠的聲音比剛才小,也比剛才僵硬,因為她不知道這樣問對不對。329Please respect copyright.PENANABj5An7n6PN
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「凝羽瘋了,很久以前就瘋了。」329Please respect copyright.PENANAYezR7w0Fxw
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高宇維想輕描淡寫,但惡夢就是惡夢,他做不到,聲音也變小,裡面有哀戚、恐懼,還有絕望。329Please respect copyright.PENANAivoO1FEtze
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「篙出生時,另一個孩子沒有保住,她就瘋了。」329Please respect copyright.PENANABHUfD0vMMx
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「從一個正常人,變成生活無法自理的瘋子。」329Please respect copyright.PENANALJM3LuSzqs
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她每天哭。329Please respect copyright.PENANAt2FfUUK4Im
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哭完,她開始笑,開始唱歌,摸著肚子問:329Please respect copyright.PENANAbtY66BmnYA
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「紅色的花開了嗎?」329Please respect copyright.PENANA5Uv5X8oDkn
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不,花沒有開,那個孩子死了。329Please respect copyright.PENANA056uFX6zHY
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聽完,她又開始哭。329Please respect copyright.PENANA2V0KgasFDH
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哭完,她又開始笑。329Please respect copyright.PENANAPNeDHSYF6B
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笑完,她又開始唱歌,摸著肚子問:329Please respect copyright.PENANA1WMfCU6mFa
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「紅色的花開了嗎?」329Please respect copyright.PENANAVgK45oUb7H
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「藥物、精神科、心理諮商、催眠術、靈氣課程、安魂定魄……我什麼都試過,還是救不了她。我只能在旁邊看,看我最愛的人一天比一天衰弱,看我的妻子慢慢變成別的『東西』。」329Please respect copyright.PENANAJs9vlKVCtH
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「妳懂嗎?那是比死亡更可怕的離別。凝羽把自己的時間停住,我明明是瘋帽、是『時間的朋友』,卻無法讓她的時間運轉。」329Please respect copyright.PENANAXK29lqIG9j
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由愛故生憂,由愛故生怖。329Please respect copyright.PENANAVrwXYaRhCL
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謝欲雪對郭凝羽的愛,早已化為憂,早已化為怖。329Please respect copyright.PENANAbzXzGDGsAd
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「事實是:我的妻子早就不在了。她被困在時間裡,我必須救她。」329Please respect copyright.PENANAhtxC8Qo11j
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「因為愛她,所以要她死……很荒謬,我知道,但如果有別的方法,誰會想要自己的愛人死?」329Please respect copyright.PENANAmUdk70EhcO
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高宇維。329Please respect copyright.PENANAHlhtllrPq2
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正確的寫法,應該是謝篙的「篙」,郭凝羽的「羽」,和那個無緣的孩子──謝惟。329Please respect copyright.PENANAoympjkbrNC
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他說,等孩子出生,自己就去改名。明明只是玩笑,卻給了郭凝羽憧憬。329Please respect copyright.PENANA2lZATBb4Fi
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「紅色的花開了嗎?」329Please respect copyright.PENANAUs3HLJQwsr
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她想要家。329Please respect copyright.PENANAmjOcSsEa7t
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一家四口,屬於他們的家。329Please respect copyright.PENANAnZSw9x98F4
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「紅色的花開了嗎?」329Please respect copyright.PENANAeX3mMCU3Va
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那孩子沒有活下來。329Please respect copyright.PENANAN8Lhf2rpLr
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都是她的錯,都是她的錯,是她毀了這個家。329Please respect copyright.PENANA9AOxw0ox62
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「紅色的花開了嗎?」329Please respect copyright.PENANAR4zJAMa7DY
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她對不起欲雪,可是欲雪很擔心,她強迫自己笑。329Please respect copyright.PENANA3wfwCFwMtM
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笑著,笑著,等她醒來,家已不是家。329Please respect copyright.PENANAZEJaLKhJVj
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謝欲雪變成高宇維,謝篙變成謝照顏。329Please respect copyright.PENANAaXuLY11Li1
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郭凝羽變成了蜘蛛。329Please respect copyright.PENANAs8ZdCEPcMU
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「……。」329Please respect copyright.PENANAZwFxRcxEGa
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謝綠閉上眼睛。消化這些東西需要時間,她心裡也覺得難受。329Please respect copyright.PENANA1lAX121Ote
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「我知道妳見過凝羽,見過很多次。篙故意這樣安排,他希望妳繼承凝羽所有東西,包含她的蜘蛛糖。」329Please respect copyright.PENANAyqSPocrRFy
329Please respect copyright.PENANAp6TVSfJfHo
高宇維的聲音異常肯定,彷彿他人也在武場,看過謝綠的木刀。329Please respect copyright.PENANAIBLDLffaTk
329Please respect copyright.PENANA0rATC0g3SZ
「凝羽不願意。」高宇維說:「妳父親對此很不滿。」329Please respect copyright.PENANAEO9sQdtfw5
329Please respect copyright.PENANAQywWaCevBH
「為什麼?」謝綠問。329Please respect copyright.PENANA3ggPIzMrzV
329Please respect copyright.PENANA3XuazFqcfH
「妳不適合,妳和我們不同。」高宇維說:「她應該說過類似的話,妳記得嗎?」329Please respect copyright.PENANAeKXRF0jEAc
329Please respect copyright.PENANAsjFSHY1nmw
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「妳是掠食者,需要獵物。」329Please respect copyright.PENANAQf6YArumwX
329Please respect copyright.PENANA8ME1MyKGe4
「不要織網,自己去找。」329Please respect copyright.PENANARgr9kIUXfy
329Please respect copyright.PENANAbIuFJ2iWQy
329Please respect copyright.PENANAHBn74oEeHu
「『心會反映在武學上』,凝羽說過。」329Please respect copyright.PENANADkwhUGLsme
329Please respect copyright.PENANAZIbJwfnui9
一開始,高宇維也有同樣的疑問:為什麼謝綠沒有變成蜘蛛?直到聽說那起事件,高宇維就懂了。329Please respect copyright.PENANAVPZD203Uzo
329Please respect copyright.PENANAa2bOUNuxit
「十年前,謝氏家僕造反,篙故意放走一個人,把永晝永夜交給妳。」329Please respect copyright.PENANAupDKQ0DHtG
329Please respect copyright.PENANA1ymnB99Q9F
高宇維一說,謝照顏的聲音又在雨中響起。謝綠的眼睛越睜越大,潛伏在黑暗的東西連同回憶,正被喚醒。329Please respect copyright.PENANAg0f8yjLtM8
329Please respect copyright.PENANAeLZeNAFIcw
329Please respect copyright.PENANAbx9z7TlBBK
「黑色衣服、藍色褲子,戴著帽子的男人。」329Please respect copyright.PENANAXBt2qO1UJK
329Please respect copyright.PENANACsowHYUX7a
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「拿著雙刀,不到十歲的女孩只花一小時,就把逃到幾公里外的家僕抓回來,雖然只剩一顆頭。」329Please respect copyright.PENANA31mpNMOMpM
329Please respect copyright.PENANAFYIwcvD67H
高宇維喝著紅茶。謝綠聽見瓷器碰撞、清脆的聲響,高宇維似乎又喝完一壺,正在泡新的。329Please respect copyright.PENANADqhYArMZf4
329Please respect copyright.PENANAbClyLZYF5C
「聽完我們的故事,我知道,妳現在腦子很亂。」329Please respect copyright.PENANASDWcX0tKap
329Please respect copyright.PENANAzMEeZNmvsU
不是上司,高宇維是以長輩的身分,告訴迷惘的女孩:329Please respect copyright.PENANADDhJC4N94r
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「深思熟慮地及時行樂──做妳想做的事吧,小綠。」329Please respect copyright.PENANAdao09QQf0A
329Please respect copyright.PENANAUbnWgRgTZU
「對於妳,我和凝羽的看法完全一致。」329Please respect copyright.PENANAf4mtVHwbIC
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329Please respect copyright.PENANAuSMiTMLUps
謝綠負責的證人,再三個小時會來到這附近。里奧建議蹲點埋伏,謝綠聽話照做,所以才會站在雨中,胡思亂想。329Please respect copyright.PENANAVhxGakJvT7
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想做的事,要做的事,喜歡的事。329Please respect copyright.PENANAtimfJWPiFP
329Please respect copyright.PENANAa3JMOHD12D
永晝和永夜是獵手──饕餮也是。329Please respect copyright.PENANAQrhCsRzAED
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「……知道了。」329Please respect copyright.PENANAOqyDEsToyT
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謝綠走回雨中,向高宇維道謝:「謝謝你,爺爺。」329Please respect copyright.PENANAEKt2at414Z
329Please respect copyright.PENANAuBExNRKL5A
「別那樣叫我,聽起來超老。」329Please respect copyright.PENANA3CYhz1wWnR
329Please respect copyright.PENANAFIdwmmsZM2
留下這句,高宇維就離線了。謝綠聯絡另一個人,這次是羅俊。329Please respect copyright.PENANAhQpw34hxGZ
329Please respect copyright.PENANAFUVbArLxba
「安安,小綠姊!」329Please respect copyright.PENANATDQhiY6sxa
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「俊,給我證人的座標。」329Please respect copyright.PENANA2IOXxtAVcA
329Please respect copyright.PENANAckuowL9Nsx
謝綠一邊說,單腳同時起跳,在建築間連蹬五次,最後來到大樓頂層,站在圍牆上。329Please respect copyright.PENANACRojYtjDoj
329Please respect copyright.PENANAnErdBrKVw3
「小綠姊,妳不等了嗎?」329Please respect copyright.PENANAzy5l0lZthX
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「不了,我要自己找。」329Please respect copyright.PENANAqpTnILoKJ6
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「好,等我一下喔。」羅俊自言自語:「從戒指換到赫老大模式……有了!」329Please respect copyright.PENANARN3doQTEEl
329Please respect copyright.PENANAltxVngAIrf
下一秒,紅色的座標浮在謝綠眼前,羅俊的聲音也不是透過戒指,是從耳邊響起。329Please respect copyright.PENANA5IxyFOmahf
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「目標正往這邊衝來,還有幾百公里。」329Please respect copyright.PENANAhFSqYunv1x
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「收到。」329Please respect copyright.PENANAYwahNnIrNM
329Please respect copyright.PENANAihX1YPtm6v
語畢,謝綠從大樓一躍而下。她的水果塔──不,名為饕餮的普樂仙斯早已成形。惡獸的吼叫撕裂天際,烏雲在她身旁匯集。她抓住其中一綹烏雲、變成握把,紫色的重型機車出現在她身下。謝綠騎騁在大樓外牆,猶如飢渴的饕餮飛起、落地,朝獵物直奔而去。
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神與畜
作者:
阿曦 A-Xi

篇 #188
解離性身分疾患11
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