->>>對付大吃貨Boss,就讓專業的小吃貨來!
【凌家動物園 III 小強星人也求愛】爆炸頭不要來
By 喵芭渴死姬
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37-2. 吃貨爭霸戰
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「嗯~啊~♥」841Please respect copyright.PENANAqhz4UslL9K
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一路忍著豌豆大叔的嘶吼,直到最後一隻史萊姆小王嬌喘地倒下,吐出奧客幣寶箱與一把金色大鑰匙後,他們才終於鬆了一口氣。841Please respect copyright.PENANAF4uJlW6VyF
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「哈……希望……Boss可以……正常點……哈……」肉盾已翻滾得筋疲力盡,兩腳一癱地坐在地上喘氣。小蝠不屑地踹了他幾腳,繼續抱著小強觸角飄愛心。841Please respect copyright.PENANARkfitU4bib
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「奧普斯的Boss哪時正常過了?」塞倫無奈失笑地遞去一瓶體力回復劑。841Please respect copyright.PENANA0hSqFY42eO
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「老婆~親……唉呀!」肉盾傻笑地撲過去求貼心老婆親抱,自是又被一掌拍開了。841Please respect copyright.PENANAX6ngVtOHKK
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「就叫你看場合。」塞倫微紅耳根地拒絕公然放閃,卻沒扯開肉盾的手。841Please respect copyright.PENANA8dLs4KGAXH
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「咪嗚嗚嗚……」喵喵仙貝小奶貓哭鳴地按下截圖鍵後,不知在鬧什麼脾氣,竟不滿地掙脫出哥哥的懷抱跳下地化成人形,氣嘟嘟地鼓起臉哼哼唧唧著。泰特斯也不氣惱他的任性,僅是將人抱回來輕哄低語,惹得小傲嬌嘴上說討厭身體卻老實地蹭著。841Please respect copyright.PENANAsend0BlqVD
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終於受不了這滿室秀恩愛的系統,只好叮了又叮地分別給他們升了CP等級與放閃度。某閃光免疫體的腐女人妻,則瞇起雙眼於內心各種嚎叫。841Please respect copyright.PENANADnPu8WYMc3
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閃死了,閃死了,老娘一定要寫書出賣這兩對CP……啊呸呸呸!死豬和倫哥才不是一對!841Please respect copyright.PENANAJ5XX1uIcV3
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待休息夠後,他們開了寶箱撿了鑰匙,就朝最後一間Boss房走去。由於今天喵喵仙貝似乎不在狀況,老是失手亂放法術,他們為免重蹈覆轍,再次發生來不及說完敵方資訊就開打的事,便決定開門後先站在房外等泰迪熊分析完畢。841Please respect copyright.PENANANMdiAWb1oN
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不過,《奧普斯》的Boss們總是特別愛搞怪。841Please respect copyright.PENANAnCwiAixdDq
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「……」泰迪熊的面癱臉更癱了。841Please respect copyright.PENANAPCaWMfxFWu
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「欸?」肉盾抓著爆炸頭不住往室內張望。841Please respect copyright.PENANAiGruBwFWzX
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「靠,又是怎麼回事?」唬爛沒好氣地將龍紋骨劍扛在肩上。841Please respect copyright.PENANAhHswYD2NDb
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「果然從沒正常過啊。」塞倫也無奈輕嘆。841Please respect copyright.PENANAKWsZK3Qhf1
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「呣、呣、呣……嘻嘻。」只有一隻小吃貨咬著鳳梨酥,莫名其妙地笑了起來,讓塞倫不禁投去不解的一眼,才將注意力轉回前方。841Please respect copyright.PENANA5U5If7lbld
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只見異常寬敞的房間透著冰冷的危險氣息,深灰的岩質地面凌亂遍佈刮痕,角落散著疑似骨骸的碎片與斷裂武器,這怎麼看都是Boss房的特徵,卻少了一個關鍵性的存在。841Please respect copyright.PENANAwuYTJj2vG7
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肉盾探頭左右望了半天,「怪了,沒有Boss嗎?」841Please respect copyright.PENANAn1StfT5RUI
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「還是隱身了?」塞倫猜測道。841Please respect copyright.PENANAB4KMTzf28X
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泰迪熊看了眼左手仍保持銀色的戒指,「沒有。」841Please respect copyright.PENANADNWr53cZVA
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「唉呀!就進去看看吧,搞不好不用打怪。」唬爛嫌麻煩地甩著紅豔長髮率先踏進房裡。841Please respect copyright.PENANAjsXYsFI58U
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「欸,等等啊,一個人太危險了。」自認不該讓女性單獨衝鋒陷陣,肉盾抽出愛的小手趕緊跟上。待兩人走至房間中央,仍不見任何變故,其他人才放心地走了進去。841Please respect copyright.PENANAynl7QsiQCF
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「咦?」喵喵仙貝動了動鼻子東嗅西聞,兩眼發光地吞著口水,「有巧克力味。」841Please respect copyright.PENANAjOBHyOm1DJ
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「你是狗嗎?」唬爛忍不住出聲嘲笑,換來壞脾氣小孩的吐舌鬼臉。不過,吃貨不管看什麼都往食物聯想,他們便也沒怎麼放在心上。841Please respect copyright.PENANAIXEFUDRWjJ
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正當他們打算四處打探時,身後的大門就忽然「碰」地關起來。這宛如鬼片的經典效果,嚇得俗辣貓妖跳起來抱住泰迪熊,還不忘顫顫巍巍地偷瞄,十分有怕鬼又愛看鬼片的自虐精神。倒是塞倫鎮定地往大門瞧了眼,就見門板上刻著一排英文字——『Treat or trick↑』841Please respect copyright.PENANAhAJ9bV0py2
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「什麼意思?」塞倫疑惑蹙眉問道。841Please respect copyright.PENANADsQK1n0YDi
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其他人也紛紛回頭查看,肉盾以為塞倫不懂那句英文,就傻呼呼地開口解釋:「老婆,那是我們萬聖節時小孩子扮鬼跟鄰居討糖說的話,意思就是不給糖就作怪,哈哈哈,說起來還真……」841Please respect copyright.PENANAG0c5m8jY0V
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「我不是問這個,是指那個箭頭。」塞倫黑線地打斷他的話。841Please respect copyright.PENANAmPW6GocTCp
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「箭頭往上?」正所謂好奇心殺死一隻貓,喵喵仙貝就是個憋不住好奇的人,嘴裡才說完,他頭便已往上抬去。因為他這個舉動,大家跟著抬頭仰望黑壓壓的屋頂。841Please respect copyright.PENANAoczrizvtlm
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「什麼都沒啊。」唬爛揉了把瞪累的雙眼,其他人也納悶地皺眉點頭。841Please respect copyright.PENANAeE02sgOdSu
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唯有泰迪熊臉色不善,正要出聲警示,屋頂就忽然露出兩顆晶燦的眼珠子像在拋媚眼般地眨啊眨,驚得他們頓時一囧,宏亮的「噗——嘰——」聲便趁機如金鐘罩頂般壓下,震得他們耳鳴頭暈、難以動彈,「屋頂」再以迅雷不及掩耳之勢張嘴墜落。841Please respect copyright.PENANAwkv1mL56rc
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我靠!哪有Boss黏在天花板上作弊的啦?841Please respect copyright.PENANAW443Hwto4r
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內心的怒吼還未歇,所有人就已眼前一黑,全被吞進Boss的肚子裡了,逃?那Boss的嘴張得有這一整房間那麼大,逃個毛啊?841Please respect copyright.PENANAtE0CaQNrhv
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「叮!恭喜玩家肉盾阿弗羅成功開啟《史萊姆王之門》,正式觸發【身世任務】《父母的遺物?》,隊友亦將獲得協助任務之獎勵。此任務將於史萊姆王的體內進行,請玩家務必做好準……Oops!原來你們已經進去啦?顆顆!」841Please respect copyright.PENANASp2zYWYNCH
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系統你去屎!841Please respect copyright.PENANAMnXLBwVcIQ
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ε٩(๑> ₃ <)۶з Σ>—(〃°ω°〃)♥ → (╭ ̄3 ̄)╭♥ σ ゚∀ ゚) ゚∀゚)σ ლ(╹ε╹ლ)
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「(嗶——)的!一片黑是要怎麼做啊?」唬爛首先爆粗話了。841Please respect copyright.PENANA5Oc7th8cqz
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「肉、肉盾,你的眼鏡呢?」塞倫吃力地抵著面前的障礙物。841Please respect copyright.PENANAv42mYxZIxR
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「眼鏡被壓到……呼,這樣有光了吧?」肉盾努力掙扎出一絲空隙,物盡其用地用爆炸頭頂推開前方障礙,卻是可憐了被嚇暈的小蝠差點被擠扁。841Please respect copyright.PENANAPriZFZsfDS
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「咕嚕咕嚕……」841Please respect copyright.PENANAs6y1ogfsUh
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有小吃貨的肚子叫不停,偏偏一向萬能的泰迪熊也愛莫能助,只得使盡抬手往儲物包伸去。841Please respect copyright.PENANAlVaTkePS8W
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他們之所以會落入這般境地,全拜史萊姆王的超強消化吸收力所賜,以致於他們一被史萊姆王吞掉後,體力與飽食度便瞬間歸零,連有《力大無窮女漢子》稱號的唬爛也手無縛雞之力。841Please respect copyright.PENANAtS699u5C6N
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更討厭的是,不像一般內臟間尚有空隙的生物,這史萊姆的體內是滿滿的史萊姆,毫無一絲縫隙,就像果凍不管怎麼切怎麼挖都還是果凍。因此,他們此刻全身上下緊黏著史萊姆,要說話還得稍挪點空間給嘴唇動作,才會開口就吸入史萊姆而嗆到縮短窒息倒數。841Please respect copyright.PENANAdPdugfe2wq
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「啊,想到了,頭好壯壯!」此特殊技不耗體也無須飽食度,只需一聲令下,肉盾的週身便爆出防護圈將體力瞬間回滿,同時也震得史萊姆王張嘴微晃地吸了口氣,竟將窒息倒數計時延長了不少時間,而持續一分鐘的防護圈也稍為大家撐開點與史萊姆的距離,儘管才補滿的體力又呈一定速率下降。841Please respect copyright.PENANAVFUVe6f0BQ
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肉盾這下真是沒輒了,「就算補了體力和食物也沒用啊?」841Please respect copyright.PENANA0K9tnZjF8l
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「嘖,剛喝的藥劑都浪費了!」唬爛跟著罵道。841Please respect copyright.PENANADfPkxj8SpA
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正想餵喵喵仙貝的泰迪熊也只好打消念頭,轉而問塞倫:「有什麼藥?」841Please respect copyright.PENANAFOBHJheBcE
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「史萊姆是果凍體,對牠有用的藥不多。」塞倫查看包裡的藥品,邊煩惱地思忖著。841Please respect copyright.PENANA4Lg61TNapR
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肉盾納悶地張望四周,「怪了,之前被史萊姆吞時還看得到外面,怎麼這次會這麼暗?」841Please respect copyright.PENANAIhTKBCfhWP
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「巧……克……力……」841Please respect copyright.PENANA7F8TsUpwnn
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喵喵仙貝不知是餓昏了還怎樣,竟吸著口水呆望前方呢喃,這傻模樣頓時就讓弟控大哥心疼了。泰迪熊暗罵了句這該死的破任務,便意識到一件事,「為何這任務非進來不可?」841Please respect copyright.PENANAPeQj4PWYvb
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「欸?對吼!」肉盾打開任務面板一看,「尋找父母的遺物,難不成他們也被吃了?」841Please respect copyright.PENANAmg0kSudd9H
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「啊,用消溶水?」尋思量久的塞倫,拿起一瓶藥水,「不過,這通常是拿來煉藥用的。」841Please respect copyright.PENANAHFqm1eQa3o
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「不會把我們也溶了吧?」唬爛問道。841Please respect copyright.PENANAoA7lM4XuMd
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「那……」塞倫繼續找。841Please respect copyright.PENANAwuNIbYU9TG
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「這附近也許有什麼。」泰迪熊推論道。841Please respect copyright.PENANAExmAeLSfbz
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「我看看……咦?那邊好像真有東西。」低頭搜尋的肉盾,發現斜後方遠處有團不明物體,便試著要將腳步挪過去。841Please respect copyright.PENANAIHNBdHNItJ
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這一廂,正想方設法的四人討論得熱火朝天,另一廂的喵喵仙貝則不斷吞口水發呆。本就見底的飽食度已令他餓得發暈,從進房後就飄散鼻間的巧克力香,更誘得他不住將在腦海裡「端端」跳動的深咖啡色史萊姆王化成Q彈滑嫩的巧克力凍。841Please respect copyright.PENANAGkqK4rfP3G
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於是,一場扭轉局勢的關鍵即將發生!841Please respect copyright.PENANAZpcOLMlfYj
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「噗……!」841Please respect copyright.PENANAlPrDRirvKG
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「叮……!」841Please respect copyright.PENANANYxYiqDHkp
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驚響又中斷的史萊姆王叫聲與系統音,讓他們全都下意識抬眼一看,卻見倒數計時不僅暫停了,還多出一排『死機重啟倒數』的字樣,接著他們又聽聞一陣窸窣咀嚼聲,便轉頭望去,竟是喵喵仙貝咬了滿嘴咖啡色果凍塊,而面前的史萊姆壁已缺了一大塊洞。841Please respect copyright.PENANARLblPfDIXt
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「啊呣、呣……襖襖疵(好好吃)!」小吃貨口齒不清地說完又張嘴一咬,笑得好不滿足。841Please respect copyright.PENANAPmoYZ0vRBH
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不、不會吧?史萊姆可以吃嗎?等等!這是什麼食人反被食的獵奇概念?841Please respect copyright.PENANAvQK9lBSFD8
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在大家悚著臉的倒抽聲中,泰迪熊也茫然地說不出話來,並深深處在「寶貝兒吃得好可愛」與「生吃活體很詭異」的矛盾衝突中。841Please respect copyright.PENANACGpznBInn5
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「噗嘰噗嘰——」841Please respect copyright.PENANAoss3vzQOHQ
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重啟結束,史萊姆王再次發出尖銳的驚呼,身體也劇烈地攪動翻滾起來,最後一股強勁的沖勢將他們全嘩啦吐出來後,就瘋狂尖叫地撞開大門逃之夭夭了。841Please respect copyright.PENANAAYjYaWxC3J
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「叮!叮!叮!叮!叮!」841Please respect copyright.PENANAh73Jkb8DVk
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就在他們被摔得頭昏腦漲時,宅宅系統音萬般激動地響起了。841Please respect copyright.PENANAXrzN2Czadm
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「恭喜玩家喵喵仙貝以最獵奇的創新戰鬥法嚇跑Boss《吃貨史萊姆王》,獲得《吃貨王》的特殊稱號——舉凡史萊姆族與可食類怪物見之皆繞道,史萊姆王與可食類怪物Boss見之必跪拜獻食物寶箱求嘴下留全屍。歡迎玩家再接再厲發明更多驚囧戰鬥法唷!」841Please respect copyright.PENANAJQnuKLFfVb
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這樣也行?841Please respect copyright.PENANAjZOkxueDs2
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一片囧囧無語中,喵喵仙貝爬坐起來,發現超好吃的大果凍跑了,就哇地大哭:「窩還沒疵夠啊!者摸就沒惹?嗚啊——」841Please respect copyright.PENANAB4MpASxaxt
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「寶貝兒,寶貝兒,乖……」泰迪熊立馬吃力地掏出食物,把小吃貨抱緊處理。841Please respect copyright.PENANAdk7mCCH93e
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唬爛掏出體力恢復劑灌下後,向最近的塞倫遞去幾瓶,「都拿去喝吧,省得再找。」841Please respect copyright.PENANAopCj1kXnRq
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肉盾抹淨沾了史萊姆碎凍的眼鏡,見塞倫手中握著一瓶透明藥水,便歡樂地朝他一撲,「老婆真好,已經幫哥準備恢復劑了。」841Please respect copyright.PENANAFRe4YeRRZG
841Please respect copyright.PENANABQrfnKOelc
「嗯……嗄?我還沒……」精靈體質不禁摔又正值飢餓體空,塞倫好不容易從眼花復原,納悶地望向正往嘴裡灌藥的肉盾,頓時大驚,「等!那是消溶水!」841Please respect copyright.PENANA8zEHDlgNfW
841Please respect copyright.PENANAbx8Jc1CcKe
「噗——痛、痛、痛!」841Please respect copyright.PENANAyq9kHVkxuB
841Please respect copyright.PENANAbPKjAxCQnY
「那個……治癒?」841Please respect copyright.PENANAxBy3dZgMXS
841Please respect copyright.PENANA6yOg6tmIXL
「沒空!」841Please respect copyright.PENANALxBcKSO1gk
841Please respect copyright.PENANAhU28qmbRnT
「嗚嗚~老婆,我好痛……」841Please respect copyright.PENANAcccsfZseKP
841Please respect copyright.PENANAZ2nADcnaZJ
「你真是……我找找傷藥。」841Please respect copyright.PENANA8szxbXZDXg
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「……」841Please respect copyright.PENANAzapaKRr98v
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唬爛默默地將體力恢復劑全數收回後,翻了個白眼暗吐槽,豬蠢沒藥救!841Please respect copyright.PENANAfnS8HhVd3p
841Please respect copyright.PENANACn4CIipVMj
841Please respect copyright.PENANA1kw8JdqJVx
ε٩(๑> ₃ <)۶з Σ>—(〃°ω°〃)♥ → (╭ ̄3 ̄)╭♥ σ ゚∀ ゚) ゚∀゚)σ ლ(╹ε╹ლ)
841Please respect copyright.PENANANuqftoE8c5
後記:
841Please respect copyright.PENANAp3vvEbXGml
史萊姆就是拿來疵的~awa(不對##841Please respect copyright.PENANAfix2LIQfTR
841Please respect copyright.PENANA4N04xFoqgJ
小琥越來越抵擋不住艾倫配的吸引力惹XDDDD 841Please respect copyright.PENANAKY7rNahdI3
接下來的路線會遊戲任務與現實發展並行嚕,艾倫兩人快要見面啦~841Please respect copyright.PENANAjLbHWZkDVg
841Please respect copyright.PENANAvwoagsbEM2
這篇的字數較少,所以下篇一樣提早發唷。841Please respect copyright.PENANAx2ZOgcIhBb
841Please respect copyright.PENANApVxGyOQ6n6
841Please respect copyright.PENANAaUR5yqFzlv
【下篇預告】《出差求面基》:貝貝異常的原因,艾登求碰面。字數約三千多,大概禮拜二早上發。841Please respect copyright.PENANA07otLqCuz4
841Please respect copyright.PENANAppP0WLBCBy
841Please respect copyright.PENANAJR7io3yxq8
★【凌家動物園系列】
1.花心豹吃兔計畫 — 付墨X凌小兔 (作品名:小兔不吃回頭草)841Please respect copyright.PENANA4PdxG7VEgu
2.大貓小貓相親記 — 泰特斯X拉貝爾 (作品名:恃寵而傲嬌)841Please respect copyright.PENANA34fDuoXKmg
3.小強星人也求愛 — 艾登X席倫 (作品名:爆炸頭不要來)841Please respect copyright.PENANA7CLwCjI71j
841Please respect copyright.PENANAop0aFSIy7b
歡迎追蹤噗浪和FB粉絲頁>////<841Please respect copyright.PENANARTPoFXQ9dG
841Please respect copyright.PENANAa4wSJ2btSY
噗浪:http://www.plurk.com/sakuhyde841Please respect copyright.PENANAuuOPCsYNu0
FB粉絲頁:https://www.facebook.com/meowbarksky841Please respect copyright.PENANA55sDC8KcRb
by 喵芭渴死姬 / 04.03.2016
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