->>>什麼叫一失足成千古囧?觸發隱藏任務總是要有代價的。
【凌家動物園 III 小強星人也求愛】爆炸頭不要來
By 喵芭渴死姬
766Please respect copyright.PENANAjLtJ7axXnl
32-1. 海難豔福?
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「各位恩人請,美人小心台階呀。」766Please respect copyright.PENANAf70L6Mx41s
766Please respect copyright.PENANAumwTomBEy9
當其他玩家還在跟皇宮侍衛周旋套交情時,一臉帶巴掌印的山羊鬚大叔,就領著肉盾等人大搖大擺地從側門進了皇宮。穿過路線複雜的迴廊,走進一間華麗寢房後,唬爛將扛在肩上的金髮青年扔上床,再揪住企圖貼向塞倫的色大叔怒踹一腳,「尼馬的當老娘沒看到啊?」766Please respect copyright.PENANAhVxSZwyetI
766Please respect copyright.PENANAi78ao9iZ1l
「喔喔~美人再來~♥」766Please respect copyright.PENANAibqnseatxF
766Please respect copyright.PENANAbGFOciLDqm
天,這色大叔居然是尼本達的宰相,希望床上那個王子不會也有什麼怪習性。他們囧囧有神地嘆了口氣,沒想到只是撞個船就撿到一個M屬性宰相,這究竟是怎樣的神發展呢?766Please respect copyright.PENANAih7ynaqnxW
766Please respect copyright.PENANAF52wojidQn
一切都得從他們坐船來尼本達的途中說起了——是誰說坐NPC的快艇就萬無一失的?766Please respect copyright.PENANAKgB9PvkhXr
766Please respect copyright.PENANA5ief6Q4R9W
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「叮!恭喜玩家肉盾阿弗羅的奇囧裝備【頭飾】《小強觸角》,因充分受到愛情滋潤升級成為《小強觸角+1》,歡迎玩家再接再厲……」766Please respect copyright.PENANA6H7UJVvBcM
766Please respect copyright.PENANACuZLuoCSdO
風和日麗,海闊天空,放眼望去盡是一片溫煦祥和的蔚藍,伴有快艇駛過的白浪捲花不時點綴,真可謂是出海航行的好日子,直到這一聲系統音響起,唬爛也差點噴出嘴裡的啤酒,「靠!你那觸角還能升級啊?」766Please respect copyright.PENANAYmZY8hPm9m
766Please respect copyright.PENANAwru2dvTJJO
「果然如此。」塞倫失笑輕碰環著小蝠的小強觸角,「先前看小強的資料寫著進化方式是愛心,後來又見牠跟小蝠交往,就有這種預感了。」766Please respect copyright.PENANAhfLs1fKozl
766Please respect copyright.PENANA6muZaYy6uQ
「喔,老婆真聰明,來親一個……唉呀!」肉盾湊過去的嘴被一掌拍開。766Please respect copyright.PENANAFn9ebwmYrC
766Please respect copyright.PENANAqe20UTh7z8
八卦目光中,塞倫微紅了臉,沒好氣地瞪去一眼,「你也看一下場合。」766Please respect copyright.PENANAj6Gs5mn9y1
766Please respect copyright.PENANANJnkWu4Qzg
「好嘛好嘛,那晚點陪睡時再親。」才說完就又被丟了一記白眼,肉盾只好認份地低頭查看小強觸角的資訊面板,果真提升了不少數值,當初他跟邱比特要求留下小蝠真是明智的決定。766Please respect copyright.PENANARqzwcnRhTo
766Please respect copyright.PENANAvqkSlcHVh5
「咦咿?小強觸角發光了!」本在賊笑觀察兩人的喵喵仙貝,頓時驚得往泰迪熊身後一躲。雖說他理智上明白那只是裝備,但情感上仍會有些心裡陰影。766Please respect copyright.PENANA7bNITjWIp4
766Please respect copyright.PENANAbzOvdDFsiE
「喔?來看看。」難得有個能拆卸的奇囧裝備,肉盾實在好奇小強觸角升級後的樣子,便不加思索地連同小蝠一起摘了下來。766Please respect copyright.PENANAIJs8tP03tz
766Please respect copyright.PENANARYZ8yyhCdr
偏不湊巧,這時,空中正好飛過一大群鳥怪,牠們彷彿感應到一股莫名誘惑的仇恨力,在發出一聲高亢的尖叫後,紛紛集體轉向,直朝爆炸頭高速飛來。766Please respect copyright.PENANAHrOinK0cdT
766Please respect copyright.PENANAJqhgtv1ub8
「噗——咳!」仰頭灌啤酒的唬爛,正好目睹這又囧又好笑又危急的一幕,三種情緒一時反應不過來,頓時就被嗆得直咳不停,「我(嗶——)……咳、咳……你那頭……」766Please respect copyright.PENANA5qcyaDjpuT
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「白癡。」766Please respect copyright.PENANADeWXtQ6IHm
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「臭豬頭登!」766Please respect copyright.PENANAKelNQBI6ZY
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兄弟檔反應最快,泰迪熊緊急念咒施狀態與防護,喵喵仙貝抽出巧克力魔法棒要高唱安眠咒。塞倫本就想提醒肉盾注意環境,一聽到驚呼就立刻出手拉住他,「快戴回去!」766Please respect copyright.PENANAx5s6wxMBJh
766Please respect copyright.PENANAdkQFpPhv8W
「唉呀!小蝠別咬啦!」驚覺幹了蠢事的肉盾立馬就要挽救危機,然而,被吵醒的小蝠也是個遲鈍二貨,竟不顧狀況地怒咬擾人清夢的手,讓肉盾和塞倫為此稍頓了半秒。766Please respect copyright.PENANAHU0EWR2Tqg
766Please respect copyright.PENANAVJv6XGbyCQ
於是,說時遲那時快,快艇就突來了個大顛簸,竟是也受到仇恨召喚的魚怪群在衝撞船身,撞得大家一個重心不穩,齊齊往旁跌去。766Please respect copyright.PENANAjmANs0k9Eo
766Please respect copyright.PENANAqV5l3JaFeQ
「怪拐睡,快快睡,再不……咿——」嬌小的喵喵仙貝最禁不得晃,整個人就要往船外跌去。766Please respect copyright.PENANAMkNy6gQIcT
766Please respect copyright.PENANAmEarpDONcH
「貝兒!」泰迪熊救弟心切,緊急將人一把拉回來,但兄弟倆的念咒也因而被打斷,以致於鳥怪、魚怪雙重攻擊,弄得所有人措手不及。766Please respect copyright.PENANAnD6N2b6wkn
766Please respect copyright.PENANAtCoTsOOP68
「老婆小心……呃呃……」肉盾為了接住摔倒在他身上的塞倫,竟於慌亂間不小心脫手讓小強觸角跌落座底。小蝠被撞得七暈八素也無暇發脾氣,只能抱著小強跌跌撞撞飛起。塞倫為了抓回牠,又不小心一膝蓋壓上肉盾的肚子,讓毫無防備的肉盾差點口吐白沫暈過去。766Please respect copyright.PENANAXfqoF2k1tH
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不過,這些都還不是最糟的事。766Please respect copyright.PENANAOOeQ4D52dA
766Please respect copyright.PENANA1qlUdzpTCx
「(嗶——)!小心前面啊!」嗆到又撞到頭的唬爛氣呼呼地爬起來,就見船夫NPC已被嚇得六神無主,快艇也失了方向,直往一艘華麗的帆船飆去。766Please respect copyright.PENANAelCwxhLoeX
766Please respect copyright.PENANAnHEis09pkl
「呀啊!該該睡快快撞……啊啊!不對啦!窩忘了咒語啦!是、是……」喵喵仙貝一慌,腦子也錯亂了,只能胡亂喊著各種法術亂丟。766Please respect copyright.PENANAkbAeCoyh3J
766Please respect copyright.PENANAIUZrVjeogL
「就叫你不要亂改法術你不聽!」氣極的唬爛只好揮著巨劍清鳥怪,一邊對船夫NPC使出河東獅吼:「振作點!要撞船啦!」766Please respect copyright.PENANAOrpdjxT0K3
766Please respect copyright.PENANA4G9e0lCnK7
「戴好了。」塞倫手忙腳亂地將小強觸角歸位,才發現肉盾已翻起白眼,立即驚得拍打他的臉頰,「喂!你怎麼啦?」766Please respect copyright.PENANA44SbYNjqzq
766Please respect copyright.PENANA9ZgyDjQ4QQ
「……老、老婆……肚……子……」肉盾的頭頂上方開始出現倒數計時。766Please respect copyright.PENANAxjE5A1vxfI
766Please respect copyright.PENANA3Ep3kfq4xp
「什麼我的肚子?別鬧了!」完全沒意識自己還跪在人家腹上,塞倫焦頭爛額地叫出火麒麟朝怪噴火,再瞪回肉盾的倒數計時驚呼:「你怎麼缺氧了?」766Please respect copyright.PENANAPEI8A3Ut9E
766Please respect copyright.PENANAO8ofqHaK2e
「……」肉盾已說不出話了。766Please respect copyright.PENANAXtS5huP026
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「強強我好暈~」罪魁禍首之一的小蝠,添完亂就抱著小強觸角睡去。766Please respect copyright.PENANAUkOm3XhgTZ
766Please respect copyright.PENANAWNj9vZ6itc
「(嗶——)(嗶——)(嗶——)!是男人就給老娘穩住船啊!」唬爛持續揮劍邊怒吼。766Please respect copyright.PENANAwR6cY1U04Q
766Please respect copyright.PENANASiGhpmaega
「嗚嗚嗚……」船夫NPC抖抖表示服務業生意好難做。766Please respect copyright.PENANAORcGmdkngn
766Please respect copyright.PENANA3harFhBdx1
「撞啦撞啦再不撞……啊啊!不對啦!」喵喵仙貝還在努力拼湊安眠咒語。766Please respect copyright.PENANAV2wTnzAy6a
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就在這一團混亂的雞飛狗跳中,大神終於魔化發飆了。766Please respect copyright.PENANAcIwUN3SoVc
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「驚・心・動・魄!」766Please respect copyright.PENANA4vUDU59SQQ
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一聲令下,撼動全場的霸氣迴盪繚繞,所有人頓時愣地停格一秒,船夫NPC呆了零點一秒後抱頭蹲下哭喊媽咪,中驚嚇狀態的鳥怪、魚怪噴淚往外竄逃八秒。於是,世界終於清靜了,塞倫終於移開膝蓋了,肉盾也終於能呼吸了,而終於冷靜下來的唬爛,則乾脆自己去控制快艇,結果——766Please respect copyright.PENANA86p5eIw0qe
766Please respect copyright.PENANA2wMT2Zg6qY
「阿靠!」手勁過大的缺點就是容易失手,唬爛瞪著被她掰斷的方向盤,流下一滴冷汗對泰迪熊乾笑:「哈哈……現在怎麼辦?」766Please respect copyright.PENANAlmGagUoDtu
766Please respect copyright.PENANAr4YBLJ0khP
能怎麼辦?撞船啊!望著越來越逼近的帆船,大家都眼神死了。766Please respect copyright.PENANAr7pMmcyBQf
766Please respect copyright.PENANAK4S5h3w33d
「喝浮潛藥跳船,至於怪……」臉色鐵青的泰迪熊瞪向跑回來的怪群,揮杖補上狀態和防護圈,正要開口指揮時,喵喵仙貝終於拼出了咒語,伴隨著一陣肚餓叫聲——766Please respect copyright.PENANACFAzDM1I2X
766Please respect copyright.PENANAUrekI5uISA
「疵吧疵吧不疵會死!」766Please respect copyright.PENANAwVXaKB4TSN
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雖然安眠咒語依舊嚴重拼錯了,系統仍是出乎意料地響起了,「叮!恭喜玩家喵喵仙貝成功自創法術《喰種咒》,獲得《創意發明家》徽章一枚、經驗值12000、奧客幣86000,歡迎再接再厲發明更多有病法術唷!」766Please respect copyright.PENANAqOoLtXeDJf
766Please respect copyright.PENANAceV6KZClte
一道暗紅色的光芒自魔法棒頂端四射,範圍內被照射到的怪立刻就互相啃咬了起來,一時間現場血花四濺、碎肉紛飛,果真是超有病的法術!雖說狀態只有維持十秒,卻剛好讓這群怪相愛相殺完。於是,所有人默默別開眼,決定最近養生點,吃菜吧!766Please respect copyright.PENANAiv2XavvGr6
766Please respect copyright.PENANARxxrGUYjmW
怪的問題解決了,只剩下撞船問題。眼見確實別無他法了,他們便緊急灌下藥水,抓起還在哭哭發抖的船夫NPC,於快艇轟然撞上帆船的那一刻,一同跳海逃生了。766Please respect copyright.PENANA6C6QNxc2DW
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「叮!」766Please respect copyright.PENANABasoosFpob
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兩船相撞後,雙雙支離破碎地沈了,宅宅系統音也以堪比八十歲老頭的特慢語速悠悠響起,儘管字裡行間的語氣是多麼地歡樂無比,更特別的是,贅字還出奇地多。766Please respect copyright.PENANA7dmawCYUxN
766Please respect copyright.PENANAQC4wa27uon
「玩家泰迪熊餅乾、肉盾阿弗羅、喵喵仙貝、塞倫、偏向唬爛行,因為超級成功地撞翻了尼本達皇室的微服私遊帆船,觸發了【特殊皇室任務】《海上驚魂》這個非常具有挑戰性的任務,所以請玩家泰迪熊餅乾、肉盾阿弗羅、喵喵仙貝、塞倫、偏向唬爛行務必在遊戲時間的二十分鐘內將五位落難者全部都救上岸,一旦失敗的話,就要被以謀殺皇室的罪遭到超級可怕的懲罰唷,我們計時開……Oops,老子的手不小心滑了下,已經過了三分鐘啦~顆顆!」766Please respect copyright.PENANAp2q7es3rsT
766Please respect copyright.PENANAcenODkKmsg
去你的混帳系統!
好在塞倫做的專業級浮潛藥《如魚得水丹》有額外提高游水速度的效果,加上翻船地點離岸邊不太遠,他們便一人扛一個,搭配各自的場控技能避開戰鬥,總算是趕在最後一分鐘將落難的皇室NPC全救上了岸。766Please respect copyright.PENANATXkJ5P0foH
766Please respect copyright.PENANAYI872UEWqa
最先到岸的是用了幾次跳躍瞬移的喵喵仙貝。他將金髮青年隨手往岸上一放後,就跟著氣喘吁吁地趴倒在地上,等喘夠氣了,才坐起身補充飽食度和體力邊默默吐槽。766Please respect copyright.PENANA4zHpQcxxap
766Please respect copyright.PENANA7y9j5R6B07
居然讓十歲的角色去扛二十歲的成年角色,根本就是虐待兒童!偏偏這傢伙是所有落難者中最輕的一個,讓他沒得挑剔,只好怒咬碳烤雞腿洩憤。以他來形容的話,這位穿得跟豬頭登一樣騷包的青年,就是愛德華王子本人,似乎因溺得夠嗆而暈過去了,哼哼哼,真沒用!766Please respect copyright.PENANANJjuI3nmwJ
766Please respect copyright.PENANAUDoBvzbfWJ
第二個上岸的是塞倫。有水元素和風精靈的幫助, 他在水中的身手應是最為敏捷,偏偏自稱是宰相的山羊鬚大叔一看到他,就拼命黏著摟抱喊救命,拖累他的速度不說,上了岸也不肯放手,一直蹭啊蹭地擺明想吃豆腐,搞得他心頭各種怒火,卻礙於對方是任務NPC而只得忍下。766Please respect copyright.PENANAJ52T8zfZPp
766Please respect copyright.PENANAQIl6Wg72Ay
「美人兒,我頭好暈啊,一定是溺水了,快來幫我CPR~」766Please respect copyright.PENANADN9Bn3WRHW
766Please respect copyright.PENANA6qAKhV4LoU
「我沒學過,你找別人吧。」塞倫雙手抵著不斷湊來的臉,努力避開對方噘起的嘴,思考下藥迷暈NPC的可能性。766Please respect copyright.PENANALuyujlJR06
766Please respect copyright.PENANAmx77tG6F2V
「沒關係,我學過,來~」766Please respect copyright.PENANAQP2SUODNPn
766Please respect copyright.PENANA5jOmIjKUGp
「啊!放開我老婆!」落水後被泰迪熊敲了一棍杖的肉盾,頂著頭包拖了一個士兵上來,就見自家老婆被騷擾。他急慌地正要衝去搶救,身後就飆來另一人使出怒火鐵掌將色大叔巴飛。766Please respect copyright.PENANAnGhb5l8CSH
766Please respect copyright.PENANAmOga8dvybd
「你什麼爛貨色敢碰我男神?」估計是被系統整的餘怒未消,唬爛打了一拳不夠,還來一發完美的轉身跳躍踢擊,將宰相一腳踹倒後就狂踹咒罵,絲毫不管對方的NPC身份,讓其他人都目瞪口呆地冒出冷汗,連扛著士兵護著船夫NPC最後上岸的泰迪熊,都抽了嘴角。766Please respect copyright.PENANAcURITNNteX
766Please respect copyright.PENANASgF3wBjYso
塞倫怔愣望著這一幕,忽然想起一些往事,不禁有些失笑。這凌小琥從以前就這樣,只要有什麼奇怪人物盯上他,她都會第一時間出手趕走對方,完全不顧他是個也有自保能力的男人,實在是令他哭笑不得。過了這麼多年,這妮子始終沒什麼改變啊!766Please respect copyright.PENANA8gXRvkI68B
766Please respect copyright.PENANAj7DjmYtmOf
「小琥,夠了。」見士兵NPC全都傻了,塞倫便連忙黑線勸道。766Please respect copyright.PENANARLqNNtHbxf
766Please respect copyright.PENANApAGRzbcKzm
肉盾依舊驚呆地站在原地,什麼NPC不能惹的概念早已拋出九霄雲外,只管在內心不停咆哮——哥居然沒保護到小倫老婆啊啊啊!766Please respect copyright.PENANAZV4bP2bJih
766Please respect copyright.PENANAdDsUE5nRjY
「窩們的任務是不是白做惹?」喵喵仙貝有種想哭的衝動了,剛才抬人真的好辛苦說,嗚嗚嗚,怒疵豬腳麵線啦!766Please respect copyright.PENANAa9JNnbLXRz
766Please respect copyright.PENANAgipkqhWl4M
泰迪熊無奈地揉了下眉間,明白這女人火氣一來不發洩夠是停不下來的,便決定先處理毀壞NPC快艇的糾紛,再視情況看要帶寶貝兒去哪裡安撫,至於任務失敗的後續處理,就叫其他人自己想法子解決。766Please respect copyright.PENANADH96ylWk8o
766Please respect copyright.PENANADYlcYOVqAA
就在大家陷入絕望時,一聲極M的大叔嬌喘竟然響起了!766Please respect copyright.PENANACiokuIFsmU
766Please respect copyright.PENANADwZlD2jWjN
山羊鬚宰相羞紅著老臉,抱住唬爛的美腿磨蹭示愛:「嗯啊~這位美人好腿力啊,我一直在尋找像你這樣的勁辣美女,嫁給我吧,我會好好疼愛你的!」766Please respect copyright.PENANATR1jwnLJPC
766Please respect copyright.PENANAdu6tWRwnYa
「……」喵喵仙貝差點被豬腳噎到。766Please respect copyright.PENANAfRgkS1JJFK
766Please respect copyright.PENANAx5wcUr6qta
「……」塞倫忽覺一身雞皮疙瘩湧起。766Please respect copyright.PENANA1l1zrIcmVN
766Please respect copyright.PENANAhh3aA3cWpG
「……」肉盾依舊哭哭自己沒救到親親老婆的事實。766Please respect copyright.PENANAf229lT57yC
766Please respect copyright.PENANAnwd5I9aIv5
「……」泰迪熊賠錢給船夫NPC的手顫了下,差點按錯交易金額。766Please respect copyright.PENANAVsh8DQ1ruO
766Please respect copyright.PENANAL3k4OlMJ15
「……」唬爛穿著高跟長靴的腳頓住了,半秒後,繼續往死裡踹。766Please respect copyright.PENANAfSSRqzane7
766Please respect copyright.PENANAdr0UT5XjcK
「喔喔~再來~♥」766Please respect copyright.PENANAZBNRhdf34i
766Please respect copyright.PENANAWwtAiW1Emd
於是,滿天飛的紅豔愛心中,所有人包括NPC們,全都毛骨悚然了。
766Please respect copyright.PENANAob6PfxwVSm
ε٩(๑> ₃ <)۶з Σ>—(〃°ω°〃)♥ → (╭ ̄3 ̄)╭♥ σ ゚∀ ゚) ゚∀゚)σ ლ(╹ε╹ლ)
766Please respect copyright.PENANAxDZm4vN21A
後記:
766Please respect copyright.PENANAJzqkegReJx
坐個船都能搞出這麼多事wwwww766Please respect copyright.PENANAGoXF4ThDPk
系統你可以再機車一點XDDDD766Please respect copyright.PENANApa97PNS4mg
由於這篇字數較少,所以下一篇也會提早發唷~XDD766Please respect copyright.PENANAiQeAz244QP
766Please respect copyright.PENANA2AYyLgLwqh
可能有人會覺得為何遊戲內的劇情走向沒著重兩位主角的身世種族任務766Please respect copyright.PENANAtLv3VocCzD
這是因為小倫本身玩遊戲的習性,之後的文章會提到,也算是為他的未來做鋪梗吧(艸766Please respect copyright.PENANAt0ibKBWNOh
766Please respect copyright.PENANAZxtnKQUKOD
766Please respect copyright.PENANAGK1rLF7gIa
【下篇預告】《小美人魚》:挖掘特殊NPC企劃,小倫有心事,字數約三千多字,預定下禮拜一早上發。766Please respect copyright.PENANAqNJOC3Lhv5
766Please respect copyright.PENANAaWmfh1dcD3
766Please respect copyright.PENANA0Cn5lwZXO3
★【凌家動物園系列】
1.花心豹吃兔計畫 — 付墨X凌小兔 (作品名:小兔不吃回頭草)766Please respect copyright.PENANADURTgHwNoP
2.大貓小貓相親記 — 泰特斯X拉貝爾 (作品名:恃寵而傲嬌)766Please respect copyright.PENANAFldCD8GWry
3.小強星人也求愛 — 艾登X席倫 (作品名:爆炸頭不要來)766Please respect copyright.PENANA33WSbxJkYA
766Please respect copyright.PENANA5Pf6Kj4CnT
歡迎追蹤噗浪和FB粉絲頁>////<766Please respect copyright.PENANAwAv7fU3cCu
766Please respect copyright.PENANAGlPuOOyVrB
噗浪:http://www.plurk.com/sakuhyde766Please respect copyright.PENANAN5k92YGBi9
FB粉絲頁:https://www.facebook.com/meowbarksky766Please respect copyright.PENANAQ9N7iQJBHY
by 喵芭渴死姬 / 03.12.2016
ns 172.69.7.28da2