->>>摸完美人的屁屁就要來泡泡溫泉……AWA(大誤
【凌家動物園 III 小強星人也求愛】爆炸頭不要來
By 喵芭渴死姬
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11-1. 四人行之美人來開房
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「是元氣大傷了啊,兩位這模樣看來。」1173Please respect copyright.PENANAen3mpgFQvd
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待爆炸頭燒烤秀完畢,矮人族長再次操起尤達大師的倒裝句口吻,一臉高深莫測地盯著退化成美少年的泰迪熊與軟嫩萌娃兒的喵喵仙貝,那眼底的深意讓兄控傲嬌差點也大喊:「別碰我哥屁屁!」1173Please respect copyright.PENANAbBsAbcrKCq
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興許是這位仙魔祭司不好惹的名聲在NPC界傳開,矮人族長這次倒沒起戲弄之心,僅是皺眉沈吟了半晌,才說:「這樣吧!推薦信,老夫就替你們寫一封。邱香夫人,去《還我漂漂溫泉山莊》找。」1173Please respect copyright.PENANAkXRG6JsIKj
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這倒裝語法對中文不好的人實在有難度,好在他們接過族長的信後,資訊面板便以正常文法重述一次任務內容——『【獎賞任務】《矮人族的回報》:為報答解救全族生計之恩,矮人族族長特地寫了封推薦信,請求《還我漂漂溫泉山莊》的老闆娘邱香夫人招待各位(含隨行NPC),並讓元氣大損的兩位恩人借用最高等的天地精華養生池,以助迅速恢復功力,一切費用皆由矮人族長負責。』1173Please respect copyright.PENANAX8PXv8r9nQ
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「喔耶!可以泡溫泉惹。泡完溫泉,窩們可以疵螃蟹火鍋~」坐在哥哥臂上的小娃娃喵喵仙貝,開心地舉起兩顆小拳頭左右搖擺,小小紅噗噗的臉頰笑得圓嘟嘟,澎鬆的小貓尾也上下晃個不停,簡直要萌死在場所有人,不止NPC們狂加好感度,就連雙人格系統都忍不住來個雙重加萌物指數。1173Please respect copyright.PENANAoOaxQq0J8W
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「寶貝兒,小心摔。」泰迪熊趕緊用另一手扶住弟弟的背,於輕顫的貓耳邊低語了幾句,惹得喵喵仙貝一陣臉紅後巴住他的脖子埋起小臉,再次閃得NPC和系統一臉血。1173Please respect copyright.PENANA8LokfMVpwc
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不明所以然的肉盾,只當這對兄弟又在互控了,便抓著頭看向塞倫,「這溫泉很難進去嗎?還要族長推薦信才可以。」1173Please respect copyright.PENANAfxUD17NNMp
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「嗯,是全奧普斯最神秘的溫泉旅館,除非有必要任務在身,否則非會員不得進入。至今還沒人知道取得會員資格的方法,之前有個玩家正好有任務進去過,瞄到費用表都是驚人天價,也不知裡面的溫泉有什麼特殊功用,而且出入的客人還多是高階NPC。」塞倫打開地圖查看溫泉山莊的位置,語氣裡仍有不可置信的驚喜,「真沒想到有機會體驗一次。」1173Please respect copyright.PENANAmhFfL3tZxM
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原來小倫美人喜歡泡溫泉啊!肉盾摸著下巴,暗自把塞倫的嗜好記下,腦海也不住浮想翩翩。泡溫泉要脫衣服吧?喔,小倫美人的身材一定很好,泡過溫泉後的肌膚肯定又滑又嫩……他伸手擦了把腦補中的鼻血後,代表整個小隊朝天握拳大喊:「嗚喔喔喔!溫泉美人!哥來啦!」1173Please respect copyright.PENANA176Aw7ImHq
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依據矮人族長的指示,他們來到艾渠堡溫泉街的還我漂漂溫泉山莊,因任務許可踏進一般人必須止步的大門,順利交上了推薦信。本以為一切應當沒問題了,誰知,身為花仙的老闆娘邱香夫人,竟為難地蹙了眉。1173Please respect copyright.PENANAjMBiJf99px
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「既是矮人族的恩人大駕光臨,妾身的夫婿亦是矮人族,招待各位英雄自然是萬分樂意,不過……」邱香夫人似是十分擔憂地查看四周,確認無人後,才壓低聲音說:「蔽山莊的溫泉之所以特別,是因為有世代相傳的鎮店之寶。可惜前陣子山莊不知闖入了什麼竊走寶物,一旦沒了那寶物,不僅所有溫泉療效都大打折扣,那醫百病修元氣的天地精華養生池,現在也只是個毫無作用的普通溫泉了,是以恕蔽山莊無法幫到各位。」1173Please respect copyright.PENANA2J8h06CAjA
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「嗄?縮以(所以)不能泡溫泉疵螃蟹惹嗎?」喵喵仙貝失望地嘟起嘴,顯然比較在意不能吃美食大餐。1173Please respect copyright.PENANAV9Gom7jih8
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泰迪熊倒是對自身狀態毫無所謂,僅是溫柔輕捏弟弟的小臉,失笑安慰:「寶貝兒想吃,哥隨時都煮給你。」1173Please respect copyright.PENANA0P1M8YCKMT
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不過,肉盾一聽可擔心了。退化成少年的泰迪熊被大幅減弱能力,幼兒版的喵喵仙貝則除了變身外,所有技能全被鎖住,成了一個只能賣萌的小吃貨。兩兄弟看起來又是弱不禁風的好欺負樣,要是遇上愛鬧事的PVP玩家怎麼辦?於是他再問老闆娘:「是什麼樣的寶物呢?搞不好我們能找回來。」1173Please respect copyright.PENANAS4sibWYNVP
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「鎮店之寶?」塞倫卻覺似曾聽聞。1173Please respect copyright.PENANAit9DrOz1Fq
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「是凝聚千年精華的S級硫晶。」邱香夫人愁眉苦臉地嘆了口氣,「一定要那顆硫晶才行,不能是另外收的新硫晶。唉,沒了千年硫晶,這生意還怎麼維持下去啊?瞞得了一時,也瞞不了一世。」1173Please respect copyright.PENANAtS7CpLbfXJ
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「S級硫晶……會是這個嗎?」塞倫從包裡找出先前收著的硫晶,肉盾也意會過來地打開任務面板,果真見到《貴重的鎮店之寶》任務內容已產生變化——1173Please respect copyright.PENANAonzBTsRuR8
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『【特殊任務】《貴重的鎮店之寶》:竟誤打誤撞地找到失主啦!快將千年硫晶還給人吧!』1173Please respect copyright.PENANAEKIJ0jc4uS
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「唉呀,正是這顆千年硫晶!」邱香夫人驚喜地接過硫晶,「各位是從哪找到的?」1173Please respect copyright.PENANAedv01OOT99
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「啊哈,這說來可神奇了!」肉盾推了下反光眼鏡,仰起爆炸頭,準備來篇生動的演說,「當時的情況危急啊!哥正準備……」1173Please respect copyright.PENANAoTH8w5Q1aJ
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「就是艾瓦巨洞的怪獸掉的!」其他三人連忙異口同聲地打斷,育則把心虛冒汗的三頭小犬藏進襯衫裡。1173Please respect copyright.PENANA4HnfQ53zy4
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幹嘛這樣嘛?肉盾頓時哭哭了。1173Please respect copyright.PENANAHbAAKX5jHZ
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「原來如此,各位不僅是矮人族的恩人,還是還我漂漂溫泉山莊的大恩人啊!」邱香夫人欣喜地從袖裡掏出幾張卡遞給他們,「這是敝山莊的小小心意,請各位務必收下。」1173Please respect copyright.PENANA9RFbebsQiT
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「叮!」溫和的系統大叔音響起了,「恭喜玩家泰迪熊餅乾、喵喵仙貝、塞倫、肉盾阿弗羅完成【特殊任務】《貴重的鎮店之寶》,獲得《還我漂漂溫泉山莊》的好感度+500,成為《還我漂漂溫泉山莊》的VIP享有永久半價優惠,並得三天即遊戲時間72小時的免費招待吃住,可依上線時數扣除,另獲得經驗值8萬與奧客幣2萬5,祝玩家有個愉快的溫泉度假。」1173Please respect copyright.PENANALOpwOdz5Ie
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「喔?VIP的優惠是算在卡斯莫火山消費半折的優惠裡?還是額外的呢?」肉盾立刻舉手發問。1173Please respect copyright.PENANAWTW0fmGu2Y
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「叮!」這次換宅宅系統音,「額外的唷!歡迎玩家肉盾阿弗羅多多帶塞倫小美人來泡溫泉黑皮黑皮啊~♥」1173Please respect copyright.PENANAcaSkiYyjab
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Yes!系統老弟真懂哥啊!肉盾的反光眼鏡又亮了一層。1173Please respect copyright.PENANADte4Qlc6WH
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塞倫睨了眼那張得意的臉,忍不住低語了句:「就不問我願不願意嗎?」1173Please respect copyright.PENANASt8JnfNEER
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「那小倫美人願意跟哥一起泡溫泉嗎?」耳尖的肉盾立刻問道,其臉皮之粗厚、目光之懇切,讓塞倫再次無言以對地看向另外兩人,企圖轉移注意力。1173Please respect copyright.PENANA9qnk1h5Slq
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「喔耶!泡溫泉!泡溫泉!窩還要疵螃蟹火鍋喵~」小吃貨娃喵喵仙貝開心地變回小小貓,爬上哥哥的肩膀又跳又蹭,萌得泰迪熊含笑伸指逗弄小貓兒。這美少年配小萌物的畫面太過美麗,當場就閃得邱香夫人眼冒綠光,系統也叮叮叮地讓兄弟檔恩愛放閃度和夫妻等級直飆而上。1173Please respect copyright.PENANACNyynIVFoA
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「啊,真是太有愛了。」邱香夫人捧著臉感嘆了句後,就揮揮袖袍說:「夫妻如此恩愛,不如讓妾身幫兩位升級到同樣附有天地精華養生池的蜜月套房吧。」1173Please respect copyright.PENANAJYDV7yr4sV
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「多謝。」泰迪熊十分滿意NPC的殺必死。1173Please respect copyright.PENANAWhiwTZkJZ7
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「那麼請稍待片刻,服務生會來帶各位去房間,妾身也趕緊將千年硫晶歸位,好讓溫泉恢復療效。」邱香夫人欠了身就離開招待廳,兩位員工NPC也隨即出現引領他們。1173Please respect copyright.PENANANsItZKpsQV
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「蜜月套房真好啊!」肉盾羨慕得要命,只覺兄弟感情好到讓系統誤判成情侶真是好處多多。塞倫卻想起先前在巨洞裡的疑惑。1173Please respect copyright.PENANAbcbfXObHo6
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當時肉盾帶人來救援之後,頻道裡毫無泰迪熊和喵喵仙貝的回應,直到他們走回石室時,才發現這兩兄弟只是窩在石門旁的角落依偎聊天,而喵喵仙貝的臉頰紅暈依舊。當下他雖納悶不已卻也沒多問,畢竟這是人家的家務事,反倒是肉盾的好奇多話又惹得小傲嬌狂炸毛。1173Please respect copyright.PENANAfKUxOoHw20
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呵,那隻傻呼呼的爆炸頭。不知為何,塞倫腦海裡的最後畫面,竟停留在肉盾揉著喵喵仙貝的頭大笑,始終緊抿的唇角已微微揚起而不自知。1173Please respect copyright.PENANASv4EiSOA8q
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ε٩(๑> ₃ <)۶з Σ>—(〃°ω°〃)♥ → (╭ ̄3 ̄)╭♥ σ ゚∀ ゚) ゚∀゚)σ ლ(╹ε╹ლ)1173Please respect copyright.PENANA8jbrYBILIK
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「對了,小育美人怎麼沒跟著說想吃火鍋?」1173Please respect copyright.PENANAFKKuozzZbh
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肉盾這麼一問,其他人也覺奇怪地看向育,看得當事人NPC不好意思地說:「我也不知道,從洞裡醒來後,就一直覺得好飽啊,飢餓率也減緩了許多。」1173Please respect copyright.PENANApekCsXq6Kb
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他們一聽,就紛紛查看育頭頂上的飽食度,竟變成了黑色!但再仔細一看,佔了九成進度條的黑色下面卻是滿滿的正常綠色,再依據他們從出洞到現在的時間推算,竟發現育的飢餓率變得跟一般人一樣了,這代表了什麼意思?1173Please respect copyright.PENANABzq2Ts0cwv
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回想他們在艾瓦巨洞的經歷後,泰迪熊的臉色微變。腦補到答案的喵喵仙貝,也不禁呆愣地說:「該不是……」1173Please respect copyright.PENANAoLOnXvLXWK
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「呃,是這樣嗎?」總覺得真相有些殘酷,也意會到的塞倫不太好意思戳破點明。1173Please respect copyright.PENANAbFps4ngqod
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只有一根腸子通到底的肉盾,立刻拍掌說:「啊!難道小育美人真正該吃的食物其實是魔氣嗎?難怪我們之前怎麼餵都餵不飽,吸個三份妖魔氣就飽成這樣,喔不對,三頭犬算三份,所以總共五份啦!」1173Please respect copyright.PENANAn49YzZgtKl
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「叮!」於是系統音響起了,「玩家肉盾阿弗羅等人參破NPC《育?》的正確餵養法,獲得戳破盲腸指數+120、經驗值9800,歡迎玩家再接再厲繼續戳NPC唷!」1173Please respect copyright.PENANA0n1lGRtovY
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「果然啊!哈哈哈!真是太神奇了!」肉盾顫著爆炸頭大笑。1173Please respect copyright.PENANA05BjxVxnT0
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「哈、哈你個頭!神奇你個頭啦!」再次證明珍藏的美食都是被浪費掉的,喵喵仙貝又心痛哭哭了。泰迪熊更是面色鐵青地瞪了眼肉盾,就抱著弟弟隨服務生離開,打算好好安撫寶貝兒受傷的心靈。1173Please respect copyright.PENANApEGTAlBfyI
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「你這呆瓜。」塞倫好氣又好笑地搖頭低罵。1173Please respect copyright.PENANAZN5SbxJm36
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嗄?哥又說錯什麼嗎?肉盾丈二摸不著金剛地抓抓頭,見塞倫已帶著育走遠才趕緊跟上,心下卻是焦慮地想著,到時進了房間他該怎麼表現,泡溫泉時該說什麼讓小倫放開心等等。1173Please respect copyright.PENANAPU1wJ42Bfn
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這時,一排桃紅色的密語跳進頻道,肉盾頓時眼一亮,便邊走邊回覆——1173Please respect copyright.PENANA2LifFJbqxN
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『【私密】偏向唬爛行對您悄悄說:大頭!進度如何啊?XD』1173Please respect copyright.PENANALXtEoGMpOg
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『【私密】您對偏向唬爛行悄悄說:唬爛美人!!!哥正好需要你的建議啊!』1173Please respect copyright.PENANAe7Ty6noogy
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『【私密】偏向唬爛行對您悄悄說:喔?說來聽聽?』1173Please respect copyright.PENANARs0NbYcfFs
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『【私密】您對偏向唬爛行悄悄說:哥和美人因為任務可以免費泡溫泉啊,你說接下來該怎麼做?』1173Please respect copyright.PENANAHQ4ArccsOU
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『【私密】偏向唬爛行對您悄悄說:泡溫泉?!!!!這可是促進感情的好時機啊!AWA』1173Please respect copyright.PENANAc7orNLsKlS
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『【私密】您對偏向唬爛行悄悄說:哥也這麼認為啊~唬爛美人有什麼好主意?』1173Please respect copyright.PENANA0l9CCduWNP
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『【私密】偏向唬爛行對您悄悄說:先說說他現在對你態度如何?』1173Please respect copyright.PENANAZHVn6JvP61
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『【私密】您對偏向唬爛行悄悄說:這個啊……』1173Please respect copyright.PENANAtvWjwt09QT
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肉盾煩惱地摸著下巴,無法肯定塞倫究竟對自己是怎樣想法,只覺得雖然對方一直很拘謹生疏,但也沒真的很排斥他,有時好像放開心懷了,但他一試著去觸碰,就又會突然縮回去,感覺像是……1173Please respect copyright.PENANAGeu7YlVXWY
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『【私密】偏向唬爛行對您悄悄說:喔喔,好一個冷傲美人啊,看來他也在試探你了~AWA』1173Please respect copyright.PENANAYgUYN5ealQ
1173Please respect copyright.PENANAwhC3NRtEag
『【私密】您對偏向唬爛行悄悄說:真的嗎?真的嗎?*0*』1173Please respect copyright.PENANAWV4Kozy3xl
1173Please respect copyright.PENANAzf852i8BKD
『【私密】偏向唬爛行對您悄悄說:唉呀!至少他像是有認真注意你的追求了~所以接下來……』1173Please respect copyright.PENANAgxzDNVmQuq
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呃呃呃……這、這樣好嗎?1173Please respect copyright.PENANAxX0ZOfNxRn
1173Please respect copyright.PENANAAYfBkNf4W3
目瞪口呆地瞪著頻道上一長串的密語,其中「趁亂偷親」四字更是被特別括弧強調,令臉皮堪比恐龍皮的肉盾,都不免汗了一下,手指也快速動了起來。雖說他的確很想趕快把小倫美人抱回家,可是,就像泰說的,就算他們在遊戲裡經歷不少事,感覺好像處了很久,但現實來說也才兩天,若是發展太快嚇跑人家可怎麼辦?1173Please respect copyright.PENANAfs9YSnqCby
1173Please respect copyright.PENANA740bO5Ff8c
『【私密】偏向唬爛行對您悄悄說:唉唷~就說假裝成意外嘛!看看他反應如何,如果他立刻翻臉從此斷絕往來,就真沒戲唱了,你也好早點死心不是?』1173Please respect copyright.PENANArpiAED732v
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這麼說,好像也有點道理……?1173Please respect copyright.PENANAPOn17t3YYo
1173Please respect copyright.PENANABXNXPv0ASq
1173Please respect copyright.PENANAwfpFJ2aA99
ε٩(๑> ₃ <)۶з Σ>—(〃°ω°〃)♥ → (╭ ̄3 ̄)╭♥ σ ゚∀ ゚) ゚∀゚)σ ლ(╹ε╹ლ)
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後記:
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揪竟肉盾會不會採納唬爛的建議勒?AWA1173Please respect copyright.PENANAOsQDGBrHdC
1173Please respect copyright.PENANAaREevwRMGg
阿貝貝唷,泥就繼續賣萌吼,男紙氣概什麼的就勒低夠吧~XDDDD1173Please respect copyright.PENANA4FbGMtzphb
1173Please respect copyright.PENANASpoJn6FLEX
1173Please respect copyright.PENANAR5MPri8OCG
★【凌家動物園系列】
1.花心豹吃兔計畫 — 付墨X凌小兔 (作品名:小兔不吃回頭草)1173Please respect copyright.PENANA2QzlPrg8GG
2.大貓小貓相親記 — 泰特斯X拉貝爾 (作品名:恃寵而傲嬌)1173Please respect copyright.PENANAPYXh4CeZrg
3.小強星人也求愛 — 艾登X席倫 (作品名:爆炸頭不要來)1173Please respect copyright.PENANAaoMJDfGCni
1173Please respect copyright.PENANAbzlh6Py2RW
歡迎追蹤噗浪和FB粉絲頁>////<1173Please respect copyright.PENANACeS4AjlKLZ
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噗浪:http://www.plurk.com/sakuhyde1173Please respect copyright.PENANAyOGO722fzr
FB粉絲頁:https://www.facebook.com/meowbarksky1173Please respect copyright.PENANAThA3NYLcXN
by 喵芭渴死姬 / 12.04.2015
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