“To be or not to be, that is the question.”950Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpWhvU9XIrV
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出自於沙士比亞的名劇《哈姆雷特》，活着還是死亡，的確是個問題。950Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVmYRuOQnvT
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我是一個將死之人，我不害怕死亡，但我害怕自身的死亡會為他人帶來困擾。也許有人會認為我太把自身當回事，但實際上，只要是有過牽絆的人也會在乎他人的想法。950Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0G1CTQR7OY
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看着滿桌子的慰問禮，看着滿牆的打氣便條，我彷彿看見整個房間都充斥着壓力。彷彿一旦我選擇放棄自己的生命，就是背叛這些支持我的人們。但這樣的身體，真的令我很絕望。毫無預兆的痛苦，難以控制的顫抖， 痛徹心肺的嚎哭，這些都是這俱軀體所帶來的。無數次的想放棄，無數次想走往窗邊，無數次想飛往天際，但她總是故意跟我作對般，打斷我念頭。950Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPbXWC4MeT3
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「單! 今天如何呀？ 我帶了波子棋來，一起下吧!」開朗活潑的天，是我最不希望背叛的人。父母也好，男朋友也罷，只有天，我不希望她為我而哭泣，不希望自己死後仍為她帶來困擾。950Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3LFdcmvWWG
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可能是想得太深入，顯得自己有些呆滯，下棋也下得不專心，連天喊我也聽不見。950Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsTZu5E9oei
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「單，你是累了嗎？不如我們待會再繼續吧，不過你依然也贏不了我哦~」這小傻瓜在波子棋放的確是挺有一手的，不過我想她只是擔心我太辛苦。950Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzn6kdJp1pw
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「沒事！不過是在想些事……」還沒說完的話就因天掐我的臉而打斷了。曾經我在想為何她這麽喜歡掐我的臉，但慢慢就發現，她在我胡思亂想時一定會掐我。她的溫柔，常常為我的心境帶來一片柔和的陽光。950Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyqefQn3ADM
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「單，我記得你是水瓶座的吧？」950Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnlH3xiMYl5
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「對呀！你最近對星座着迷？」950Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsUhGDOVWWY
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「是呀！我覺得星座也挺準的！水瓶座聰慧又愛好和平，富具創意又敏感，這不就是在說你嗎~而我白羊座則是熱情得來又害羞，衝動，小孩子性格，這完全就是說我嘛！」950Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnznZVBYrGJ
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的確，我真的挺敏感，敏感到明白天是在告訴我，我在意着她，在意着自己會否為她帶來困擾。明明她就只簡介兩個星座，但她在說敏感二字時卻小心地看了看我。她太不會裝了，但看來我還是為她帶來了煩惱。950Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIQifgbvOSA
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我不禁苦笑起來，但則看見天懊惱地撥弄自己的頭髮。950Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKvPppmVBFs
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「我說單呀，你最喜歡大自然吧？」突如其來的問題令我有些許措手不及。950Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtOsI5iMy5M
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「是呀。」950Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8xKo9mFKqv
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「那天空是大自然中你又最喜歡的吧？」950Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPwpvHfpSz7
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「沒錯。」950Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfqarCVPRWe
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「那你最愛誰？」950Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcmUfr7XsKs
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「那絕對是天你呀！」這絕對不是討好，因為天對我的好，是無人能及…等等，這些問題不會就是想我說出我最喜歡她吧，但真的有這種必要嗎？950Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnk1j6LBSM9
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看見苦苦思索的我，天突然笑出聲來。950Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHLtM4oJpnd
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「其實這些問題不需要問我知道你的答案，就像過去你對我每天的花樣告白。但從甚麼時候起，你就不再跟我說喜歡我呢？其實我感受到，不是你不喜歡我了，而是太喜歡，不想成為我的負擔。但單呀，正如你了解我般，我也了解你，你容易鑽牛角尖，但偏偏凡事都從別人出發先，使得自己常處於壓力下。但這一次，何不轉個角度去想？」950Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡquK0pwHsf3
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天每次說話都是正視別人的眼睛，彷彿想把她那滿溢的熱情都傳給對方。面對着她那率直的眼神，我害怕告訴她我想放棄生命。我慢慢低下頭，但天則抓緊我的手。950Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ccgPM77SY
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「單，我從你身上感受到疾病和治療為你帶來的痛苦。不如我們順其自然，你不要再為我，為其他人而努力，不要再想着背叛與否的問題。你為自己而努力吧。你看看窗外那榕樹上的鳥巢，那些雛兒也在努力鳴叫，努力爭吃，目的都是想將來用自己雙眼去看望這世界，用自己雙翅去任何一處。將來牠們都要學習飛行，但牠們有可能立刻成功，也有可能會失敗而跌落，牠們也不會知道結果如何，但必定要嘗試。你想飛往天際，但你也應該先用生命再多觀看這世界先。你不覺得你辛苦過後再看這個大自然，會更美一些嗎？」950Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTRtyV10qsV
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順着天的話，我看向榕樹上的鳥巢。伸出我的左手，那往下跌的雛鳥就像受上天的保護般，又再回到窩裏。雛鳥的活力彷彿為我帶來了希望，所以在我可以飛往天際前，牠們也要健康成長。天的話也把我一直以來的壓力慢慢消除，所以為了回應她的支持，為了我自己，也要先努力一把。950Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZtepus47IV
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其實生存與死亡的選擇權在我手，我自己對這世界依然有留戀卻把問題推給別人。雖然生存很痛苦，但這世界的美麗我亦未欣賞夠，我應該先努力到最後一刻，至於生命的結果就隨天命引導吧。950Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5CH5MLPRFy
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藏住心中深埋的秘密，用一襲白色的薄紗輕輕遮着，似是矇矓，卻又那麼真實。不過天卻能輕易看穿，只因她一直都關注着我，而我，也一樣。950Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNLNBaSr8vk
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