Maybe I'm guilty too, I probably am, but it still hurts...

People, some people, a lot more people lately, have been putting me down. Somehow, I suppose, I was blind. 

I mean, there are some things you never notice by yourself. Others help you see the truths, and I've been getting a lot of truths recently. 

In some sick delusion, I guess I thought there were exceptions, that I was the exception to some people, but now I believe otherwise. People only want you when they want you, when it benefits them, when they need something. 

Everyone is a victim and everyone is a culprit.

I guess it's hard to find gold in a mountain of dirt. 

Realization is striking me pretty hard right now. I never thought that I was surrounded by so many frauds. I can count on my hand how many people I think I can trust. 

You see, ANYONE can smile and say that they're your friend, or that they love you more than the moon, that they'll be there when you're crashing and burning and feeling all the pain. 

It's sad how real a counterfeit can seem. 

I'm not even going to bother with the "why me?" bit. It's a broken record all on its own. 

Though, I do feel more alone now. Almost like I'm on the outside, looking in. My body is there smiling, pretending, but my mind knows the truth. My mind is whispering "it's all a sham", and somewhere deep down I know that it all is. 

Listening and obeying my mind, my conscious, is difficult. It's easier to just fake it, isn't it? Than to go searching for something real. I suppose, I have to ask myself if I want a cheap imitation or the rare, genuine artifact? 

That shouldn't even be a question.