不少聽到有人形容：「男生就是個用下半身思考的動物！」433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKhJCiIl6GY
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身為一名英俊瀟灑、人見人愛、花見花開的男孩子，每每聽到此類言論，都有不少想法。433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzh00UTs7RC
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所以特別想用一種嚴肅、認真並且憤慨的筆吻來回答它們：「沒有錯。」雖然不能說隨時，但大部份都是。433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPo87FRa5o4
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當然此言論不能概刮所以男性，不過80%也許有。縱使想法怪異如我，在這一方面倒是不愧對我這帶把的身體。433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO8Fp6E2GiA
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「男生平均多久想一次色色的事？」上次聽到有人在討論這樣一個話題，很有趣，也得確值得研究。433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLvaS8WI1gb
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在說出我的答案前，我得先說句實話。要寫這類文章真的不容易，因為大多數男生包括我，是不會和其它人討論「你一星期打幾次」、「都想著誰打」、「打一次多久」等等私密和關係善良風俗的話題。433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDAuyMWErfQ
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一是沒那個恥力。433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq83OVnUDeY
二是我不想知道我朋友家人在他幻想中的世界。433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwWp2p6hElb
三是……多久多大，不會有願意先講的男人。如果你是男人在看這文章，相信我，不管怎麼樣，我的都比你大一公分、持久一分鐘。433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVVebrWp7C6
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拉回來，平均多久想一次？433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡytwdzBSyFD
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沒有平均，相信我，一個男生如果在可以想，那他一定不是在想，就是在準備想的過程中。433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvx8uPBpe5o
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但也不是隨時隨人都會想，至少我在菜市場和阿婆聊天時……哦那畫面太美別讓他在我腦裡超過3秒。433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqNlqZ0cfDW
我要說的是，不會有人工作到一半突然靈光一閃：「胸部！」除非你就是"幹"這一行的。433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRp6jehomhF
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所以走在路上、在家、經過小學……嗯？等等，我家門口有人在敲門了，我去開……奶子！433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaPIXTMtbgC
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咳！相信我，雖然我常說想在腦子上裝個拉鏈讓大家知道我在想什麼，但真要裝，可能得容我先去當和尚修行個十年。433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9NpReUm7Jb
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到此，「多久想一次」應該有了答案吧。433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRnxun0ZKYC
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所以再來還有一個問題我認為值得講：「男生都在想什麼？」指色色的方面。433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfAyPYlBpkv
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說實話，如果妳是女生並且在看這個文章，又耐住性子看到了這邊，我想為了妳等等看待妳爸妳哥妳身邊所有男人的眼光，還是打住吧！433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOUJ9sZ7LdL
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「想什麼？」說實話因人而異，譬如有人喜歡小的、有人喜歡短髮、有人喜歡寵物玩法……等等。433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMh3NLfE1FZ
但我要講的點不是怎麼玩，而是對誰對什麼。這一點基本可以說，萬變不離其中！433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFAu7SOZjfJ
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這裡我再分兩個：平時想，和進行生理自X反應(以下用打飛機統稱)。433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd4XoBC3j6N
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在平時，男生如果年紀超過青春期，就會有個經驗，千萬不要想太深入！433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZNY75uo4Jh
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為什麼？因為我不想頂個硬硬的東西在下面，特別是穿窄款褲子，真的…很不舒服。433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3dWtU93de5
再者濕濕的不是很好過……為何會濕，請去上國中健教課。433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgy8JTKTF6e
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所以不外乎就只是對：奶子、臉、腿、臀部……等等的眼睛療養，再進就是簡單想象的肢體接觸。433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUtS4W5RxFO
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而這事積攢時間過長，就會出現「能量釋放」，俗稱打飛機。433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfWBlJJJpuD
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對象為Everyone，只要在他的審美觀中是喜歡的，不管是妳、妳的朋友、朋友的朋友、朋友的…媽媽？都會在其中。433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLBu2Uw0DYO
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啊！女生們，這絕對不是精神出軌，不然為什麼妳們要看韓劇，雖然很帥、雖然如果可以也許也會嫁給他，但事實是，沒有，因為沒辨法(？ 在這一層關係上，他還是愛妳，只是在打飛機時請給他在腦內一個自由的權利。433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHNwVbGEoSg
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到此快接近這文章的尾聲，對於男人是下半身考的動物我想多少有些概念，那為了幫一些女生解決一個「如何讓他完全不想那些事呢？」我想了一下，想到了。433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtlZiCwIlfi
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等他打完。我絕對不是在唬爛。433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkGxNQnRlAN
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進入賢者時間，屆時妳才會看到一位心中了無雜念，視情色於糞土的好男人。433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtqLVTATzsK
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而維持時間，大概一小時。433Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTBrsyLAT7m
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最後，我要說……說那什麼來著？啊！屁股。
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