【47. 愛的重量 】539Please respect copyright.PENANA0k0hcpBkum
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男人最終把我領到一道漆成白色的大門前。539Please respect copyright.PENANADaaIbVN6Wy
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「你媽媽就喺入面。」男人收起了嬉皮笑臉如是說。539Please respect copyright.PENANA6QVB8IGuws
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我的目光在男人和大門之間游移,老實說,我都搞不清現在是甚麼狀況了:先是看見老媽走進了青樓,然後發現一個奇怪的社區中心出現在裡面,現在則有個變態的男人說我媽就在裡面?539Please respect copyright.PENANA5uH3nRt92T
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千萬個問題如夏蟬般在我腦內不斷叫囂:我應該開門嗎?我應該知道真相嗎?539Please respect copyright.PENANAeJ4ttRb9wO
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我的手搭在門把上紋風不動,猶如中了蛇妖的石化術。539Please respect copyright.PENANAIOi3oykZfZ
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「開門啦,有啲嘢我覺得你應該要知。」539Please respect copyright.PENANAJQy9ep5N6h
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「係呢,我想問,點解你頭先話你知道我會嚟呢到?」我問。539Please respect copyright.PENANAckRRHm0E0h
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男人揚一揚起眉毛,答道:「我唸,就算兩母子之間關係幾差,都會有想對方好嘅心。」539Please respect copyright.PENANAtj6N2TeRR8
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我淺淺一笑,不置可否。539Please respect copyright.PENANAADAvq9A4JF
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我和老媽的關係不是一直都那麼差的。539Please respect copyright.PENANAvi2lX3Bhaw
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以前我還會跟她一起睡的時候,她總會待我睡了她才會睡。雖然教我讀書的時候很惡,但她吻我的時候卻很溫柔。她會每晚為我做飯煮菜、跟我玩飛行棋、帶我落樓下公園跟其他小朋友玩捉迷藏。539Please respect copyright.PENANAJ4QvwM68O2
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而媽媽和爸爸,當時還是很恩愛的。539Please respect copyright.PENANAMMd0XenyDg
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我尚記得那天在棗紅色跑道上累得像條狗的自己。539Please respect copyright.PENANAEC67s0DKtY
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「傲風你咁快就攰啦!」我累得雙手頂著膝蓋,勉力抬頭看面前的矮壯男人。539Please respect copyright.PENANAFPIHeAR9QE
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「爸、爸爸⋯⋯你跑得⋯⋯太快喇⋯⋯」我氣喘吁吁道。539Please respect copyright.PENANAdxXfzgR8I3
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「乜你咁渣㗎!我後生嗰時跑過全新界第二㗎!而家都廢咗好多啦,我都成四廿歲人啦,你都仲未快過我。想當年我同班兄弟中三就跑甲組⋯⋯(下刪三千字)」爸爸得意道。每當談起自己在跑道上的戰續時,他總是會談個滔滔不絕,彷彿那是人生中最重要的成就一樣。539Please respect copyright.PENANAUhgeXOpxjw
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「喂!你哋兩父子跑完未啊!夠鐘返屋企食飯啦!」媽媽在看台上不耐煩地大叫道。539Please respect copyright.PENANAgd6dwYi3me
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「知啦!」我和爸爸不約而同地應道,不禁相視而笑。539Please respect copyright.PENANABtWdT1FBR3
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從很小的時候開始,他就是我打從心底裡最崇拜的人,因為他不像媽媽一樣惡,永遠都會臉帶笑容地教我一些我未學過的東西,幫我解決所有問題,甚至掙錢給我買來人生第一部彩色 gameboy。這一切都只是為了逗我開心。539Please respect copyright.PENANAoKEvLdtZNA
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只是當時的我還不知道,再強的英雄也有缺憾。539Please respect copyright.PENANAYse9TJuzMC
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那晚我因尿意而驟醒,一邊擦著眼睛,一邊走去廁所。哪知廁所的門被人從裡面鎖上了。539Please respect copyright.PENANALIU5rUPOUp
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「知啦⋯⋯我陣間就落嚟⋯⋯我執好哂行李啦。嗯嗯,陣間見啦,乖。」裡面傳來爸爸的聲音。539Please respect copyright.PENANA3JZyjxU8Po
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那時我真的尿急得快忍不住了,便急忙敲門叫他:「爸爸我好急尿啊!你快啲喇!」539Please respect copyright.PENANAhViq0YZM6N
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他一打開門,臉上盡是驚訝的神色,然後馬上掩著我的嘴,小聲道:「唔好咁大聲啊,陣間嘈醒媽咪啊。」539Please respect copyright.PENANAjfWgTd0i1u
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「哦。」我焦急得馬上推開爸爸,終於趕得上在膀胱爆裂之前暢快一番。539Please respect copyright.PENANAC2KJYYvxvK
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當我走出來的時候,剛好就見到爸爸拖著行李喼出門。539Please respect copyright.PENANAWSzRjovnWB
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「爸爸你去邊啊?去旅行?」539Please respect copyright.PENANAwAeg56UvLP
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「係啊,你快啲去瞓喇。」539Please respect copyright.PENANAA0rXlHyXo5
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「我要送你機!」539Please respect copyright.PENANAIo2lY7QRtf
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「嗯⋯⋯機場好遠㗎喎⋯⋯」539Please respect copyright.PENANA1S7JkDxBno
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「我唔理!」539Please respect copyright.PENANALJwcIhSkxK
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「咁⋯⋯好喇。」539Please respect copyright.PENANA5NsPRVm0Ep
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爸爸拖著我的手來到樓下,他跪了下來跟我說:「嗱,你而家合埋眼數十聲,十聲之後呢,我哋就會到咗機場㗎啦!」539Please respect copyright.PENANAxqx8J8MjAl
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「好!」539Please respect copyright.PENANAfh1RHUK8rK
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於是我雙手掩眼,開始數十聲:539Please respect copyright.PENANAHJv5nhOph7
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「十、九、八⋯⋯」539Please respect copyright.PENANAqz3tH1Z4bl
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只可惜我不是個乖孩子,數到三的時候,我就張開眼偷看了。539Please respect copyright.PENANA0pCvjZtPGi
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那時的我心想,爸爸真的跑得超快,快得我連他的背影都見不到。539Please respect copyright.PENANAz0G08gB6R0
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我把心一橫,用力推門了大門。539Please respect copyright.PENANAkZ2QLxbQ3g
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以白色為主調的房間裝修美觀,擺設整齊,直射進來的陽光猛烈得我睜不開眼。539Please respect copyright.PENANAEfLnPjvTG0
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「傲風?」539Please respect copyright.PENANAx7ozuhV1fu
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我的眼睛很快就適應了房間的光度,只見媽媽坐在一張沙發椅上,訝然看著我。539Please respect copyright.PENANAp8VIAuAx8M
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她霍然轉頭,跟坐在對面的人說:「你又話唔會同佢講嘅?點解佢會喺度㗎?」539Please respect copyright.PENANAQmwZtIf3jS
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我沿著她的目光看過去,那個男人一頭金髮,右前臂有一個龍的紋身。539Please respect copyright.PENANA71lMdrxSQL
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「嘩!你咪係上次上我屋企個MK 仔?」我衝口而出大喊道,後面的變態佬聽後忍不住掩嘴竊笑。539Please respect copyright.PENANAlpcyEJeqlP
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MK 仔苦笑了一聲,隨即遞上了一張卡片,恭敬道:「失敬失敬,其實我冇做MK 仔好耐啦,我而家係呢度嘅註冊社工,我叫吳砥邦,英文名叫James,隨便叫我沾屎邦得啦。我係負責跟進你屋企嘅情況㗎。」539Please respect copyright.PENANACtfheTglKM
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MK 就MK 啦,仲咁多嘢講⋯⋯但認真睇下張卡片,原來佢真係呢度社工嚟。539Please respect copyright.PENANAptOyxFItcF
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「我⋯⋯我屋企嘅情況?」我不解地看著MK 社工。539Please respect copyright.PENANAZRlokFelmS
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「唔好講咁多多餘嘢!」媽媽急忙道。539Please respect copyright.PENANA5SRuEWe4G9
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「王女士,其實我覺得都係時候要同令郎講真話。」MK社工的措詞及其外形,簡直就如火星撞地球一樣不搭。539Please respect copyright.PENANA6lCkZasdgs
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媽媽別過臉去,默不作聲。539Please respect copyright.PENANAdBy7oO5Fdd
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他續說:「相信你都知父母已經離婚嘅事實,但係你知唔知道你而家食嘢、買嘢、搭車用緊嘅錢係邊度嚟?」539Please respect copyright.PENANAlka66JiP5Q
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「咪、咪爸爸送啲錢過嚟同阿媽返工賺㗎囉!」539Please respect copyright.PENANAOIDwMpb2zk
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「你會咁諗都好正常嘅⋯⋯但事實係,你爸爸自從搬咗去美國之後再冇再俾錢你媽媽,而且⋯⋯」539Please respect copyright.PENANAlofJqFu7xr
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他頓了一頓,似是有難言之隱。539Please respect copyright.PENANAqFhW17sroP
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「而且你媽媽佢⋯⋯喺離婚之後搵過我哋,之後醫生證實咗佢有燥鬱症。」539Please respect copyright.PENANAkPBO54pzHp
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「燥鬱症?」539Please respect copyright.PENANAsVXBE9O2HJ
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「冇錯,王女士佢同我講過佢對你做過一啲好過份嘅嘢⋯⋯但我都希望你明白,你媽媽只不過係受病情影響,所以先控制唔到自己嘅情緒。其實佢鬧完你之後自己都好內疚,佢每日都鎖埋房門,係因為唔想你知佢晚晚都喺入面喊⋯⋯」539Please respect copyright.PENANA9uU6C6Z1S8
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我斜眼看著媽媽,她的肩膊在微微顫抖。539Please respect copyright.PENANAZxhSwYaoE7
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「而因為呢個病嘅關係,你媽媽早喺幾年前已經俾公司解僱,而家只係靠著政府資助同日夜兩更保安員維生。」539Please respect copyright.PENANA2GwcNyjaSb
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我對著媽媽,說:「所以⋯⋯你晚晚先會咁夜返到屋企?」我不敢相信,我一直討厭的媽媽,原來在背後付出了那麼多。539Please respect copyright.PENANArjzzRJGju5
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MK 社工續說:「聽講你最近拍拖啊可,其實你媽媽之所以咁反對,係因為佢唔想你好似你爸爸咁,做一個不負責任嘅男人,佢怕你仲未有能力承擔得起愛情嘅重量。希望你唔好怪佢。」539Please respect copyright.PENANAhWbdIi4hm4
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我走近了沙發椅,輕輕握著媽媽的手,柔聲問:「我想你親口同我講,佢講嘅嘢係咪真?」539Please respect copyright.PENANAPEsol6cnNy
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她側過頭來,陽光把她的輪廓照得發亮。539Please respect copyright.PENANApR9xjlAbpX
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「對唔住⋯⋯我以為自己係對你好,點知原來我係傷害咗你⋯⋯」她含著淚眼道。539Please respect copyright.PENANAuBf07zaYq4
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我從沒見過她的話說得如此真誠的。539Please respect copyright.PENANAYdetAeOw9O
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真誠的話,蒼老的臉,寂寞的空氣,一一勾著我的心弦。539Please respect copyright.PENANAqINN3lO2mb
539Please respect copyright.PENANA0F1cS05WyU
.539Please respect copyright.PENANAFrSxnNXqZH
539Please respect copyright.PENANA2JPkquJy6g
這年來我只顧著自己的愛情,卻忽略了一直為我付出的她;我一直嫌她不夠了解我,但原來我更不了解她。539Please respect copyright.PENANArAqsllgG1o
539Please respect copyright.PENANAYV3NFVKe0T
.539Please respect copyright.PENANAjQ4uhUzWyQ
539Please respect copyright.PENANA40aALy8qtD
當我自以為目標清晰時,我是不是在狂奔的過程中遺忘了一些重要的東西呢?539Please respect copyright.PENANAkGUpQmJ3lv
539Please respect copyright.PENANAUCnK6U9El0
.539Please respect copyright.PENANARoyy0IvUXf
539Please respect copyright.PENANAX27D7tKar3
原來我的心,不會只為阿玲一個而酸,原來還有一個女人,值得讓我永遠掛心。539Please respect copyright.PENANAxTraPYrD3o
539Please respect copyright.PENANATnfVzpBFtK
.539Please respect copyright.PENANA2GoJXPAkOC
539Please respect copyright.PENANAijGLvEiBaz
過去不懂得「男人不應讓女人流淚」,此刻終於知道,只盼為時未晚。539Please respect copyright.PENANA9aYFQRPHZp
539Please respect copyright.PENANAYh6pz8XGch
.539Please respect copyright.PENANAYYhGbl0Jy7
539Please respect copyright.PENANA1zegv9hSkd
但此刻千言萬語都只能薈萃成一句話:539Please respect copyright.PENANAhlVBRLSdcM
539Please respect copyright.PENANAzAhLEu840z
.539Please respect copyright.PENANAh3ijrfvMpp
539Please respect copyright.PENANATitZZvEH2P
「對唔住⋯⋯我愛你啊,媽咪。」539Please respect copyright.PENANA5OVAT8XtKs
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最近我想追一個女仔⋯⋯
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最近我想追一個女仔⋯⋯
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篇 #48
愛的重量
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