Kwamé has been here for over two hours, and has barely said anything. That has given me more than enough time to openly stare at him - and he's damn good looking. His face is perfectly chiseled, his brows perfectly arched, and his grey, almond eyes perfectly set in his warm caramel coloured face.504Please respect copyright.PENANA6NEcppntNx
He's made me soup, taken care of me, made sure that I'm alright - but he's procrastinating. A part of me knew he would, knew that he'd be reluctant to tell me. In a way, he's just as indecisive as I am. He just sits there looking at his glass in his hands, not wanting to address the very large elephants in the room.504Please respect copyright.PENANAjyfBxYKBjm
"You know that you're going to have to talk to me sooner or later," I insist.504Please respect copyright.PENANAiaPVZHFUD5
"How about later?" he suggests as he looks at the beautifully designed green carpet spread out across the living room floor. 504Please respect copyright.PENANA619MVQ8hk0
"Kwamé."504Please respect copyright.PENANAinfIOt5UXT
"What?" he asks.504Please respect copyright.PENANAH4W9S5EMkY
"Talk to me. Please."504Please respect copyright.PENANAUH6HpwszEp
He looks down and sighs heavily, his grey eyes glued to the floor. "I don't know what to say."504Please respect copyright.PENANAd0PWijdDsu
"Let's address the fact that I'm seeing you in human form for the first time," I suggest. At the moment, it is the more intriguing topic. 504Please respect copyright.PENANAGFg7ti1ppW
"Let's not talk about that. I only did it so that I could take care of you."504Please respect copyright.PENANApyDibJiceQ
"Kwamé, this is big," I tell him, stating the obvious. 504Please respect copyright.PENANADp9dkZ2L5K
"I know, and I hope it won't happen again. You need some friends."504Please respect copyright.PENANAes9rCSVOxt
"How did you know that I was sick?" I ask, changing the subject. I don't want to talk about my lack of friends right now. It's never bothered me before, so I don't know why it should now. 504Please respect copyright.PENANAaAKjcmEwY9
"I heard you sniffling and vomiting last night, and this morning, your breathing sounded off."504Please respect copyright.PENANAvz7H6n3yHD
"Woah, wait- my breathing?" I ask, about an octave higher that my normal pitch. 504Please respect copyright.PENANAihjE1ccWg1
"Yeah, I hear things better than humans."504Please respect copyright.PENANA05RulBOkS4
"So you heard our conversation last night?"504Please respect copyright.PENANA2l9efbcxeL
"I could hear you talking, but I wasn't listening to the words. I wasn't paying attention. I wanted to give you privacy."504Please respect copyright.PENANAw6nTT1BlBB
"How kind of you," I say, surprised by his behaviour. Then again, I don't really know him, do I? Where it me, I would probably eavesdrop. No, I would definitely eavesdrop. 504Please respect copyright.PENANASqMWYKJlw8
"Well, while I am inquisitive, I do have my limits."504Please respect copyright.PENANAJMMppk3CH4
"Well, that's good to know."504Please respect copyright.PENANAGSLt0dmZWq
We sit in silence for a few moments, before he clears his throat.504Please respect copyright.PENANApM4BJEBb5I
"So, I have a story for you."504Please respect copyright.PENANAYO7Vi4bQka
Finally.504Please respect copyright.PENANAbnvpX8TPfB
I place the now empty soup bowl on the coffee table, and look at him, sitting in the chair opposite me. He mimics my actions with his glass. I wait for him to begin. For a moment, I don't think that he'll tell me. However, something in my eyes must encourage him, because I see it in his eyes the second that he makes his decision.504Please respect copyright.PENANAHdQ39UeMwU
He laughs without humour, and then exhales deeply.504Please respect copyright.PENANAQAaj1l9VM9
"I was born on Saturday, July 7, 1677, to a slave mother and a white, plantation owner father. My father decided to keep me as a member of the household - not quite a son - instead of as a slave. I guess he couldn't stand the idea of having a member of his bloodline working in a field or as a house slave. He treated me with ambivalence; for my whole life, he was, at best, merely tolerant of me. The only person who ever showed me true love was my mother. When I was nineteen, my father died. He had no close relatives, but rather than let his father's plantation go to the government, he left it to his bastard half-breed son. That is all he ever saw me as, anyway." He stops to take a deep breath before continuing his story. "I, however, was overcome with the power rush of actually owning something for once in my life. He wrote it in his will to ensure my freedom, so that no one would try to take advantage of me, force me into slavery. I mistook my father's actions for love, and I forsook those who did love me. My mother, brothers, my sister, and all the other slaves... I didn't abuse them, but I'd be lying if I said that the power didn't get to my head. The problem isn't with what I did, though... It's with what I didn't do. I didn't free them."504Please respect copyright.PENANAElLnfQPebt
"So when you died...?" I ask, trailing off. 504Please respect copyright.PENANAVWo8Gav4dA
"I died at age twenty six, a few days before my twenty seventh birthday. Pneumonia."504Please respect copyright.PENANA5a40IvIcxA
"Your mother?" I push, although I can take a pretty good guess as to what happened. 504Please respect copyright.PENANABYdfMoOgV9
"I didn't write a will, and I had no heirs, so when I died, she remained a slave, and the plantation went to the government. I could have helped her, helped them, helped all of them... but I was so damn selfish."504Please respect copyright.PENANAufQGw9t4CF
Damn. I don't know what I was expecting, but it sure as hell wasn't that.504Please respect copyright.PENANA0giyZ72RHq
"So, you see, I'm a monster," he tells me with a painful smile on his face. I can see the hurt and anger deep in his eyes. Anger directed inwards, at himself. 504Please respect copyright.PENANAVHwBuq2mNn
"No, you're not," I reassure him. "Formerly an asshole, maybe. But from what I've seen, you're not a monster."504Please respect copyright.PENANAN4JjJ1PQkg
"So why have I been damned to this for eternity?" Despise the obvious feelings that can be read on his face, his voice is monotonous, devoid of any emotion. 504Please respect copyright.PENANATmEvaBPCSQ
He has a good point.504Please respect copyright.PENANAjWWS7qGmhK
"Maybe, it is you," I tell him. "Maybe, it's a result of the way that you saw yourself when you were dying. How did you feel? What did you feel?" I ask him.504Please respect copyright.PENANAgg1TF1KlUR
He looks into my eyes, and then looks down, biting his lip, before letting out a huge sigh.504Please respect copyright.PENANA7t3uDq5Ee0
"Regret. Regret and self-loathing. I hated myself for not loving my family while I was alive. I called for a lawyer to get my will in place, but when he arrived, I was too far gone."504Please respect copyright.PENANAVccTTcuBJn
Can you ever... move on?" I ask him.504Please respect copyright.PENANAu9JBenLWWT
He chuckles softly.504Please respect copyright.PENANAaIznkpp965
"No. I'm stuck like this forever."504Please respect copyright.PENANAHHMXyDfwAZ
"If you can be human, why is it so bad?"504Please respect copyright.PENANAnwdJSVNDZi
"Because we always want to go back to being an animal. There's always that urge to be what you're meant to be- a murderous bull."504Please respect copyright.PENANAqWv0fx46Es
"Murderous?"504Please respect copyright.PENANAIjQupZdccC
"Yes. It makes you angry. Makes you want to kill, feed off of the fear of others, feel some kind of power and control when you've been powerless for so long." While he's talking, he stared into my eyes with great determination - trying to convince me that he is a monster.504Please respect copyright.PENANAKEm8dIEBEy
"Have you ever done that?"504Please respect copyright.PENANAFQRdvnemic
"Once. He was my enemy."504Please respect copyright.PENANAleIzgd6JZi
"Oh."504Please respect copyright.PENANApIVoDQiXYH
I can tell that there's more to the story, but he leaves it at that, probably in an attempt to scare me.504Please respect copyright.PENANAHEThE1j8sy
"I like you, Kwamé," I tell him. "And you don't scare me."504Please respect copyright.PENANAa59lIO5NWR
"I should."504Please respect copyright.PENANAbeALFFcKuD
"But you don't." Truthfully, I see no reason to fear him. He thinks he's worse than he really is. Consumed by guilt, he's become this person filled with self hatred and self loathing, convinced that he's an evil entity.504Please respect copyright.PENANAX2Oy1rEKCR
I don't believe that that is true. He needs to give himself another chance.504Please respect copyright.PENANAKx1L1EKkqp
But if I am to tell him that... then I also need to be forgiving. I need to give my mother another chance.504Please respect copyright.PENANAygS0CJMGAa
"Tell you what - how about we both learn forgiveness? You try to forgive yourself, and I try to forgive my mother. Starting now."504Please respect copyright.PENANAPw4G2fmhIj
"You'll give her another chance?" he asks hopefully. 504Please respect copyright.PENANAlPl1Hnh7RL
"If you do the same for yourself. I'll meet with her soon."504Please respect copyright.PENANAXk7sz81DF2
Looking rather torn, he looks into my eyes as if searching deep into my soul for an alternative. When he finds none, he lets out a deep sigh.504Please respect copyright.PENANACk1L1PuHNl
"Fine. But I'm only doing this for your mother."504Please respect copyright.PENANAPKtrcR2al4
I show my gratitude with a large smile stretching from ear to ear. As I look at him sitting there, unsure as ever, I know that I won't regret this decision. 504Please respect copyright.PENANAjlHbjPojC1
***504Please respect copyright.PENANAKjuT3U7lmW
School has become one of the most boring, mundane things that I have ever experienced. Perhaps it's due to the supernatural that has filled my life in every other aspect. Still, I'm finding it increasingly difficult to concentrate in lab sessions, which is never a good thing. Today, though... today, I have a plan. 504Please respect copyright.PENANA31Czm75PmM
After sneaking past a sleeping Kwamé laying on my couch - I didn't even know that he slept - I planned on going to do some research. The main library hosts an extensive collection of books, some of which must be on Jamaican folklore. I came up with this plan the last time I spoke to Kwamé, actually. I decided that I would try to find out as much as possible on the topic. However, as we all know, things don't always turn out the way we want. Or that's what I'm hearing now, since I've never had this problem before. 504Please respect copyright.PENANAvWayqlZjW6
"No ID, no entrance," the guard outside of the library says to me. The fact that I'm sick only makes me more irritable. I don't know if she can tell I that I'm seething, but she leans back in her seat, moving away from me. Of course, I would have to leave my ID at home today of all days. Of course.504Please respect copyright.PENANA4kr6TGp8eD
"Look, I'll give you my ID number," I try to bargain, sniffling a few times. "620114-"504Please respect copyright.PENANA2GeyirMY6q
"No," she insists, "I need the actual ID."504Please respect copyright.PENANAGQvIWnbBMu
So of course, my brilliant plan falls through.504Please respect copyright.PENANA7stjxXELuP
Instead of having a library of books available to me, all I have is the internet. Which is still pretty good. Sitting on the library steps in my oversized sweater, I pull out my iPad and type in Rolling Calf in the search engine... only to find nothing, because unsurprisingly, the WiFi is being a bitch and a half. I grind my teeth so hard, it feels as if they could crush diamonds. Exhaling steadily, I agree with myself that I will continue my search once I get home.504Please respect copyright.PENANAh4PtE9OFDR
This seamed like a better idea in my head, because once I reach home, and into my room with Kwamé in the shower outside (not the en suite one) the only things that pop up are things that I already know. Some of it I suspect to be utter rubbish, for example, throwing things on the ground for a rolling calf to count, and then running away. I can hardly imagine Kwamé stopping to count rice grains while his "victim" escapes, or getting confused at an intersection*. In terms of the river mumma, I knew this already, except for one small detail:504Please respect copyright.PENANAk4db1baVw8
During the times of slavery, sacrifices would be made to the river mumma during a drought, or when someone wanted to cross the river. The fish in that area would not be eaten, because they were thought to be her children. 504Please respect copyright.PENANAXETtNIypOu
Paraphrasing a bit, but that's basically what it says. 504Please respect copyright.PENANA82uHXXNTuV
I was aware of the part where the fish were her children, but the rest sounds like utter bullcrap. Then again, isn't anything possible at this point in time? 504Please respect copyright.PENANA60Ark4LDrc
Duppies: been there, done that. 504Please respect copyright.PENANAt3IuIL3iZi
However, there's one thing there that I don't hear about every day, even though I know about it: Ol' Higue. Ol' Higue... I remember read a poem about her for my CSEC* Literature exam. The creature is an old witch who sheds her skin and takes the form of what some say to be an owl, and what others say to be a ball of light - personally, I think that owl is more plausible, but who the hell knows anymore - and preys on people in their sleep, especially babies. Kind of like a vampire. If salt is placed on her skin she will not be able to put it back on, which will make her vulnerable. If you throw rice on the ground - why are we so obsessed with rice? - she will have to count it. This was thought to be an explanation to grieving mothers for SIDS, but knowing what I know now, it's probably true. 504Please respect copyright.PENANAN7gv2PbHt8
But none of this helps me, since I already know most of it. 504Please respect copyright.PENANAuoSsS8lucI
Sighing, I go to my bookshelf and pull out my "World of Poetry" book to look for clues. I sit and skim through the poems, some of which I was assigned. 504Please respect copyright.PENANAA2l2whiwsV
"Ol' Higue... 'Le loupgarou'..." I stop dead when I spot a poem that I've never read before. 504Please respect copyright.PENANATpqPW1rb9j
My Mother's Sea Chanty. 504Please respect copyright.PENANAvuTtKTxLXz
It's a poem about a woman who's mother is a mermaid... in the sea. 504Please respect copyright.PENANALfnOzqQbcx
With a huff of frustration, I slam the book closed. 504Please respect copyright.PENANAtEuo8V3XY1
Deciding to take a different approach, I research Obeah spells, abandoning my quest to explain Kwamé for the time being. It is rather odd to be researching something that scares the crap out of you, just for the sake of understanding yourself. In a way, it kind of means that you're scared of yourself. Depressing, really. 504Please respect copyright.PENANAApM6FQEp6s
I come across an anti bad luck charm, something that I might need soon if I continue on this trajectory. It looks too simple, though, reminding me of a Harry Potter spell, like "Expecto Patronum". Still, I screenshot it, and continue my search. 504Please respect copyright.PENANAgOufToUuwO
It is then that I find something that is rather frightening. 504Please respect copyright.PENANAEMoT4CqZUA
I come across a website that offers obeah spells, and says that payment is not needed until results are seen. 504Please respect copyright.PENANAKja1lKSS6T
Now although I have always believed in obeah, I also know that many people who claim to perform "obeah" are scammers, preying on uneducated families with children who have mental illnesses or seizure disorders. It is a common misconception among many Jamaicans that seizures are caused by demon possession. But this... this is as real as it can possibly get. 504Please respect copyright.PENANAkM7pAKvrR9
Quickly, I exit the website, as if something is going to jump out the screen at me. I'm frightened, I can't deny it. If I did, my pulse rate and breathing would definitely give me away. But other than fear, there's something else... 504Please respect copyright.PENANABs1bhYVW6F
Excitement. 504Please respect copyright.PENANAfjIQjgEDTN
Oh dear God, Nya. You're in for a rough ride, aren't you?504Please respect copyright.PENANAxaqxNWBhxD
And for once, I completely agree with my inner voice, no indecisiveness, just acceptance. 504Please respect copyright.PENANAmYbyK9hd5F
***504Please respect copyright.PENANABIcGjHReRH
A/N504Please respect copyright.PENANA0MDY4yvdm9
504Please respect copyright.PENANAAtPb5lVRmb
I actually found a website that said that 😅504Please respect copyright.PENANAiFDuyKsvyl
Also, the thing about an intersection: supposedly, if you go to an intersection, the rolling calf will get confused. They are also afraid of being beaten by a whip (some say specifically a tarred whip in the left hand). They supposedly carry a chain and / or a bell, so you can hear them approaching, but I didn't want Kwamé to have that. 504Please respect copyright.PENANAP0vRxuFjfR
*CSEC: Caribbean Secondary Examination Certificate.
ns 108.162.216.41da2