During history class that next morning, I couldn't concentrate. I was too busy focusing on Toby and the ludicrous things he said about me. To me. Everytime I heard his sweet words, a gigantic tidal wave splashed against the dam that held back my tears. I wanted to believe him but I couldn't.
551Please respect copyright.PENANAv2TA7NoM6Q
Twenty minutes had passed and I couldn't recall what the professor had been talking about, so I decided to pull out a notebook full of graphing paper start writing.
551Please respect copyright.PENANA21HfsW3YlG
551Please respect copyright.PENANAaRNJFRvPA4
I'm not good enough. I'm not good enough. I'm not good enough for him. He's lying. He's playing with me. Why did I think he could actual like me.
551Please respect copyright.PENANAqBzwMeE4jI
551Please respect copyright.PENANAqGQlG2dSIt
“What’s that?” inquired a girl’s voice from behind me. It was Gwen, being her usual curious self. She was a new girl that started a couple months. She was always really nice to everyone and me, a little too nice I guess.
551Please respect copyright.PENANAK9q6cX9EoU
551Please respect copyright.PENANADkkymTIEpK
As soon as I heard her voice echo in my ears, I closed the notebook half way and turned around to meet her eyes. “It’s where I write all my bad thoughts.”
551Please respect copyright.PENANAXO91YmvgJQ
551Please respect copyright.PENANAkwnGW20cIC
“So, like a diary?” she asked.
551Please respect copyright.PENANAFsDSxuNC9A
551Please respect copyright.PENANAUIPuyWXzPH
“Yeah, basically.”
551Please respect copyright.PENANAuzeSJN8bH6
551Please respect copyright.PENANAZpnoG1q1MS
“Well that’s no place to write something like that!” she grabbed her book-bag off the floor and started going through it. “My mom bought me a journal but I don’t use it!” she pulled out a thin purple notebook, and gave it to me.
551Please respect copyright.PENANAOoBcRgXVdq
551Please respect copyright.PENANADd91RT3Eld
I smiled at her. “Thank you, this really is the nicest thing anyone’s done for me.”
551Please respect copyright.PENANA7PMwzkbfN0
551Please respect copyright.PENANAnS5h3NlBfP
She clapped her hands and then linked them together. “You’re more than welcome!”
551Please respect copyright.PENANAqcQjWvSg6S
551Please respect copyright.PENANA2txOPdorJj
Right after school, mom immediately drove me to the mall. She wanted me to have fun. She wanted me to be a normal teenager. I stopped at a couple different clothing boutiques, and then to Hollister on the other side of the mall. I loved that store but they never had any clothes that could actually fit me.
551Please respect copyright.PENANAWpe41cbtfo
551Please respect copyright.PENANAUDiSOJL5FP
I became bored after a while, so I walked over to the food court and bought a Pepsi from a nearby vending machine. I sat in these orange plastic chairs at the side of a cupcake stand, and in front of me was this indoor ocean-themed playground. There was this one kid running around in a cowboy hat, which made me think about Toby the more I tried not to think about him.
551Please respect copyright.PENANAtVwq2b6j58
551Please respect copyright.PENANAbPi06CddQD
On the opposite side of the playground was Hot Topic, with a relatively big One Direction poster in the window. Only staring at it helped me notice Abbie and Corene striding through the double doors. “Abbie!” I shouted as both their heads twisted around in my direction.
551Please respect copyright.PENANArRR4F4zkKa
551Please respect copyright.PENANAom1o5ciJJo
Corene Fields and Abbie Evans. Corene had long, jet black hair, crocked teeth, and tan skin. She had on bright blue skinny jeans and a t-shirt that read “5 Seconds of Summer” on it. Abbie was completely different. She had a reddish boy cut, with tight curls, her skin was dark, and her teeth were white and freshly straightened. Abbie was dressed a little the same though; bright blue skinny jeans and converse but with a black tunic shirt.
551Please respect copyright.PENANAs42Jw3JUWy
551Please respect copyright.PENANApjQiP2Vkqs
“Esther,” Abbie said. “Where the hell have you been, I haven’t seen you in a million years!” Abbie always had this certain look on her face, so you’d know she was attempting to make you laugh.
551Please respect copyright.PENANACXr8Sb6JXz
551Please respect copyright.PENANAKK5VUf0hxD
“Where do you think?” I answered her.
551Please respect copyright.PENANA4uo9UptMJF
551Please respect copyright.PENANAoEOMBq6u1L
“How are you Esther?” asked Corene as she stuffed her phone into the back pocket of her pants.
551Please respect copyright.PENANAUt6UvNiLJK
551Please respect copyright.PENANATrWx99AGEE
“I’m good, How are you?”
551Please respect copyright.PENANARXwIVk4JCj
551Please respect copyright.PENANAprFXPxyZYs
“Good.”
551Please respect copyright.PENANARu7g0QfhZR
551Please respect copyright.PENANAVJPLar2vNg
Abbie clasped her hands together without a second thought. “It’s too awkward and quiet, let’s go to the store or something!”
551Please respect copyright.PENANAaMCclPU3s3
551Please respect copyright.PENANAXcvfuIJQf5
We all ended up going into Hot Topic. And as we looked around, Abbie kept picking out relatively short dresses and telling me how good they would look on me. And every time she did, I’d say, “I’d look like a whore in one of those!”
551Please respect copyright.PENANA5fnyhOV4WV
551Please respect copyright.PENANAEHMLYKgzPZ
“No you wouldn’t, you’d look cute!” Corene told me. “Oh! Do you like this one?” she pulled out a short, black and white elaine dress, and I nodded.
551Please respect copyright.PENANAz87B6bfaxq
551Please respect copyright.PENANAYfexTT61Ef
“It’s too short though!”
551Please respect copyright.PENANAywXh9wKtcU
551Please respect copyright.PENANAerV0F67nvn
Unfortunately, none of us had enough money to buy anything, but we still all had fun. I loved them both like sisters so I could never tell them how I really felt. Even at that very moment, I felt that kind of deep sad that would only rub off on them like a disease, that couldn't be cured with just antibiotics. If I told them, they wouldn't want me around, they wouldn't want to talk to me.
551Please respect copyright.PENANAPW52cNGq2U
551Please respect copyright.PENANA75IUG8hnfd
“Since we have nothing else to do, come over to my house!” said Corene as we walked through the door of the store.
551Please respect copyright.PENANAIsywC1ixMv
551Please respect copyright.PENANAE8fqI0IOMq
“Actually,” I muttered brushing the hair from my face. “I think I should probably go home.”
551Please respect copyright.PENANAXYn5vqMQtZ
551Please respect copyright.PENANA1UcKgf5YJP
❤
551Please respect copyright.PENANAtQXeSA0WHx
551Please respect copyright.PENANA2Vn7K6xENQ
I had nearly nothing to do once I had gotten home. Mom and dad decided to order my favorite pizza but I couldn't really stomach anything. So, I nibbled on a small slice and stayed dormant inside my room.
551Please respect copyright.PENANA4OqiskQGtE
551Please respect copyright.PENANAHZ48ziH0LX
By the time I was ready to fall asleep, my phone went off in the silence. So I picked it up and heard Toby on the other line.
551Please respect copyright.PENANAKTTqK4YBw0
551Please respect copyright.PENANAGBvvCcw0Su
Toby: “Troublemaker.”
551Please respect copyright.PENANAR6KnV3gufa
551Please respect copyright.PENANAUkwQso64kS
Me : “Cowboy.”
551Please respect copyright.PENANAOnbHHzNxcH
551Please respect copyright.PENANAjbNzloEgrA
Toby: “How are you?”
551Please respect copyright.PENANAjHsMWaHui8
551Please respect copyright.PENANAb2GfMR38No
Me: “I’m good, you?”
551Please respect copyright.PENANAURaiPc3WG2
551Please respect copyright.PENANA3f6Spzrrf4
Toby: “Grand.”
551Please respect copyright.PENANAjpLs4Pz1dA
551Please respect copyright.PENANAcRjRDN4H7y
Me: “What’s going on?”
551Please respect copyright.PENANAfkGQ1WsV4z
551Please respect copyright.PENANAuhoZw9ce5C
Toby: “Esther?”
551Please respect copyright.PENANA4wtVhZj17F
551Please respect copyright.PENANADkr8lM0xo8
Me: “Yeah?”
551Please respect copyright.PENANAnZ5LQULica
551Please respect copyright.PENANAklZNTrebgd
Toby: “Would you ever go out with me?”
551Please respect copyright.PENANASu3EV2J9OL
551Please respect copyright.PENANATota6yXEe0
Me: “Maybe someday.”
551Please respect copyright.PENANAL6wmF8g2v7
551Please respect copyright.PENANA87XHFc4vq8
Toby: “I can't believe I have a crush on a girl who turns a guy down so fast.”
551Please respect copyright.PENANAjTTeFOEpPZ
551Please respect copyright.PENANAb1YFVkzlW2
Me: “I never said no. I said maybe someday.”
551Please respect copyright.PENANAAOT7v6MN7s
551Please respect copyright.PENANAgUg0tX0qRj
Toby: “Maybe someday will be our thing then.”
551Please respect copyright.PENANA1ySMOyDbVT
551Please respect copyright.PENANAlLl2mvqHwM
Me: “Maybe.”
551Please respect copyright.PENANAG1YQ7NqE0T
ns18.188.54.133da2