A/N: A somewhat tongue-in-cheek skit as you can probably tell from the title, but this was plenty of fun to write. Maybe I'll return to properly finish it one day. 855Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbTqAPiCeQc
-:-855Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCjWZ2mxCuT
THE TYPICAL GOTHIC VICTORIAN MELODRAMA, ONLY GAYER AND LESS WHITE855Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8fSV0Ee6rV
CHARACTERS855Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ72dNc4Eecz
CECIL - male, twenties, biracial, well-dressed855Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQy6r5sSze7
XIUYING - female, twenties, Chinese, no-nonsense; a suffragette855Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjvo1cPVlAd
--855Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxXFZnaUQ66
EXT. GARDEN BENCH, NIGHT855Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡafHsjYJ1NK
Early twentieth century. CECIL sits, head in his hands, as XIUYING studies a handwritten letter with furrowed brows. She carefully folds it back up and turns to CECIL.855Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ncqXv1113
XIUYING855Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdI9TLIUoLF
We don’t have much time.855Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLXrBPUYbVF
CECIL
I’m surprised we have any time left at all! It only came in the post this morning. What the hell am I going to do?855Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj7VsPKmn7d
XIUYING855Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Zo1Epyza6
First, you need to calm down so we can consider the situation. 855Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6uCp7aE7jk
CECIL855Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPij2OUqDxY
Calm? Calm? How can you expect me to stay calm after that? My lover is blackmailing me over poetry - explicit poetry that I sent him! He expects a thousand pounds by tonight, or else I’m in for ruin and two years hard labour!855Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9j4p0CUL8g
XIUYING855Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz4xo1KtBn3
I understand you’re upset - 855Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHk5vhLrXLV
CECIL855Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQLcOMtZ81f
I damn well am! 855Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKQQ7pSJCMB
XIUYING855Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4rGodweS5u
- but panicking will get nothing done. I am so sorry this happened, Cecil, and… I’m so sorry about Laurence.855Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg4WenmX3f7
CECIL, stricken anew, breaks down. 855Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIaVUZ3qvZR
CECIL855Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGwj9kBiBiw
Dear God, I trusted him. The first person I ever trusted with my love, and he betrayed me. I didn’t know he had it in him. We were all so careful. There was no possible chance of discovery. The three of us were the only ones who knew. I don’t understand why he could do this. 855Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDtYALkBJyN
XIUYING855Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCe1Aa2mepl
(slowly)855Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcFWggG9QaZ
As a matter of fact, I highly doubt it was him at all.855Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUpZ1TDu3Dp
CECIL freezes and looks up at her. 855Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa5hFmzMm5V
CECIL855Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Wyq15CeVg
What?855Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkk20LP2F9E
XIUYING855Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡasrbBu0HpF
I cannot in good conscience believe that Laurence is behind this.855Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEafG7ncMjy
CECIL855Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4LW2kSVYAd
Xiuying, what on earth are you talking about? This is Laurence’s handwriting. This is the very ink and paper he uses to write his plays! (He gets angry.) Do you think I haven’t considered the possibility that the love of my life couldn’t be blackmailing me like this? This is undeniably him!855Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzdQ8aGwwyP
XIUYING855Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ74ZW25bVrt
Yes, but if you had taken the time to read over this thoroughly, you would notice that his handwriting is wobbly.855Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTip2J3iApO
CECIL855Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCWHcNz4zdN
It’s always wobbly. Messy handwriting is the staple of any artist.855Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOjyvj8HP7D
XIUYING855Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzPvQy6kEyA
Messier than usual, I mean. You two may be lovers, but I’m the one who’s known him since grammar school. He only ever writes like this when he’s upset or under exceptional stress.855Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6qLV007KsV
CECIL855Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJcD1vXvSBf
Well, maybe he was nervous, pulling the rug out from under someone who trusted him. 855Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQB2ge1BJbQ
XIUYING855Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfop8ZXI4Sq
That may be the case, but look at this.855Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡttekCe6iF6
She points at several dark brown and rust-coloured stains at the edges of the paper. There are ink blotches everywhere, but these particular spots, upon close inspection, are distinctive. 855Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6e5gvqD3Jo
XIUYING855Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGstZWuaSh8
If I’m not mistaken, that is blood.855Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOwHgkslzjz
CECIL855Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡskY0lGult1
Blood? (A pause as horrified realization creeps in.) Oh, dear God. Laurence.855Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgk7OspD9wk
XIUYING855Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv9tWeNaj7C
(grimly)855Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLN6uhSqUgA
Exactly. There’s something deeper here, far worse than what’s on the surface. 855Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpOvPihVPsC
CECIL855Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ92btrFnAC8
But - but if someone is forcing Laurence to write this, then how - how can we get him back? I don’t own a thousand pounds. I couldn’t possibly pay this person off.855Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIKnOrhE5Vi
CECIL is shocked to turn and see XIUYING smiling faintly. 855Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSLise8PuzF
XIUYING855Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdxxbjWoTag
Who said anything about paying them off?855Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFGRZUpEDaG
--855Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRZyu9rdioG
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