A/N: A somewhat tongue-in-cheek skit as you can probably tell from the title, but this was plenty of fun to write. Maybe I'll return to properly finish it one day. 913Please respect copyright.PENANAWCJFx1cw19
-:-913Please respect copyright.PENANAXAbcvHcFaM
THE TYPICAL GOTHIC VICTORIAN MELODRAMA, ONLY GAYER AND LESS WHITE913Please respect copyright.PENANALTeQ7360SE
CHARACTERS913Please respect copyright.PENANAyOVqtfkgsW
CECIL - male, twenties, biracial, well-dressed913Please respect copyright.PENANAjqKmsH9Fon
XIUYING - female, twenties, Chinese, no-nonsense; a suffragette913Please respect copyright.PENANAu0ehVwaQ5s
--913Please respect copyright.PENANA2T4GaDv51R
EXT. GARDEN BENCH, NIGHT913Please respect copyright.PENANAApPF7RuFCZ
Early twentieth century. CECIL sits, head in his hands, as XIUYING studies a handwritten letter with furrowed brows. She carefully folds it back up and turns to CECIL.913Please respect copyright.PENANAiRpIkx9EUX
XIUYING913Please respect copyright.PENANAnDtOVlZLjr
We don’t have much time.913Please respect copyright.PENANAC4SkCV2eiU
CECIL
I’m surprised we have any time left at all! It only came in the post this morning. What the hell am I going to do?913Please respect copyright.PENANAWcCrxYJTpn
XIUYING913Please respect copyright.PENANAPqk491O5Tb
First, you need to calm down so we can consider the situation. 913Please respect copyright.PENANAUIeYT7CXkf
CECIL913Please respect copyright.PENANADhW462Zpv6
Calm? Calm? How can you expect me to stay calm after that? My lover is blackmailing me over poetry - explicit poetry that I sent him! He expects a thousand pounds by tonight, or else I’m in for ruin and two years hard labour!913Please respect copyright.PENANAajo57nefSM
XIUYING913Please respect copyright.PENANABwHgY1fFQ6
I understand you’re upset - 913Please respect copyright.PENANAjFCgQHNtFL
CECIL913Please respect copyright.PENANAQMpN7oFSuO
I damn well am! 913Please respect copyright.PENANAmE5Z8viulJ
XIUYING913Please respect copyright.PENANAbm0Pw6HKSQ
- but panicking will get nothing done. I am so sorry this happened, Cecil, and… I’m so sorry about Laurence.913Please respect copyright.PENANAmOM4LtwDdi
CECIL, stricken anew, breaks down. 913Please respect copyright.PENANA9eDClWhL4y
CECIL913Please respect copyright.PENANA6blxhfPx8R
Dear God, I trusted him. The first person I ever trusted with my love, and he betrayed me. I didn’t know he had it in him. We were all so careful. There was no possible chance of discovery. The three of us were the only ones who knew. I don’t understand why he could do this. 913Please respect copyright.PENANA1kpM51P6bc
XIUYING913Please respect copyright.PENANAwlexwaWst0
(slowly)913Please respect copyright.PENANAjPBRLGH31j
As a matter of fact, I highly doubt it was him at all.913Please respect copyright.PENANA0nwgAThtnu
CECIL freezes and looks up at her. 913Please respect copyright.PENANAFYYj8C9DWg
CECIL913Please respect copyright.PENANAIgCRrUWyTw
What?913Please respect copyright.PENANAUQzWg0JzX1
XIUYING913Please respect copyright.PENANAzYOWYer9ck
I cannot in good conscience believe that Laurence is behind this.913Please respect copyright.PENANAjPz3JYJ2Dk
CECIL913Please respect copyright.PENANA65zyke3gyk
Xiuying, what on earth are you talking about? This is Laurence’s handwriting. This is the very ink and paper he uses to write his plays! (He gets angry.) Do you think I haven’t considered the possibility that the love of my life couldn’t be blackmailing me like this? This is undeniably him!913Please respect copyright.PENANA7ZCiDsvmCm
XIUYING913Please respect copyright.PENANAb8sTCvdCl7
Yes, but if you had taken the time to read over this thoroughly, you would notice that his handwriting is wobbly.913Please respect copyright.PENANA5EnJSUdKAT
CECIL913Please respect copyright.PENANAKljJQQN81E
It’s always wobbly. Messy handwriting is the staple of any artist.913Please respect copyright.PENANA5tSkULAmHA
XIUYING913Please respect copyright.PENANAMpIPO6aVtY
Messier than usual, I mean. You two may be lovers, but I’m the one who’s known him since grammar school. He only ever writes like this when he’s upset or under exceptional stress.913Please respect copyright.PENANAvo1VgkmC2K
CECIL913Please respect copyright.PENANALsdJcO5nvj
Well, maybe he was nervous, pulling the rug out from under someone who trusted him. 913Please respect copyright.PENANAvMXAal2kDN
XIUYING913Please respect copyright.PENANASoOJSXAIPF
That may be the case, but look at this.913Please respect copyright.PENANAmO3BzNRazo
She points at several dark brown and rust-coloured stains at the edges of the paper. There are ink blotches everywhere, but these particular spots, upon close inspection, are distinctive. 913Please respect copyright.PENANAC3hSNH8vEs
XIUYING913Please respect copyright.PENANAwhWuTQYpgU
If I’m not mistaken, that is blood.913Please respect copyright.PENANAXYgsFE832o
CECIL913Please respect copyright.PENANAHwm9x3OPVq
Blood? (A pause as horrified realization creeps in.) Oh, dear God. Laurence.913Please respect copyright.PENANA4PffCOA2qV
XIUYING913Please respect copyright.PENANAogo4v3v7ZD
(grimly)913Please respect copyright.PENANAhjLZxAqWXS
Exactly. There’s something deeper here, far worse than what’s on the surface. 913Please respect copyright.PENANAfC8yO5Cy1S
CECIL913Please respect copyright.PENANAn40u3XwM7L
But - but if someone is forcing Laurence to write this, then how - how can we get him back? I don’t own a thousand pounds. I couldn’t possibly pay this person off.913Please respect copyright.PENANAKYoTUTw6tn
CECIL is shocked to turn and see XIUYING smiling faintly. 913Please respect copyright.PENANAFDNeUoflGn
XIUYING913Please respect copyright.PENANA0PlTwYpfmC
Who said anything about paying them off?913Please respect copyright.PENANAhjOTjYBdwf
--913Please respect copyright.PENANA0SxPKQYyiV