/story/30396/評-悲/issue/9
評《悲》 - CHAPTER 9 - 妳頭也不回的走 | Penana
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評《悲》
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評《悲》
ISSUE #9
Author:
評《悲》
Author:
ISSUE #9
CHAPTER 9 - 妳頭也不回的走
No Plagiarism!SWOZClR0d6yPzIoLyJMnposted on PＥNAＮＡ

第三句的 「的」 應改為 「得」 。

第四句的 「的」 應該刪除。

第八句的 「的」 應改為 「地」 。

此外大致上沒有問題。

總體來說，能夠扣緊主題： 「妳頭也不回的走」，但只能突出其中憤怒及無奈，並不能突出其中的悲。

可以改善的地方：

將無奈及憤怒的情緒轉化為悲，並將整個重心放於後方重點。

完。808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEZHLffWxMw

216.73.216.95

ns216.73.216.95da2
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評《悲》
Essay
Last updated: Dec 29, 2017
Total word count: 1,079
Total reading time: 4 Minutes
評《悲》
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