/story/30396/評-悲/issue/4
評《悲》 - CHAPTER 4 - 阿多蘭與米特阿姨 | Penana
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評《悲》
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評《悲》
ISSUE #4
Author:
評《悲》
Author:
ISSUE #4
CHAPTER 4 - 阿多蘭與米特阿姨
No Plagiarism!JvTR1jYajwkMU9MRrOPfposted on PＥNAＮＡ

此篇大致上沒有問題。

整體來說，分號使用錯誤。且只是故事的一部分，缺乏連貫性。

可以改善的地方：

此篇實在不宜短寫，可以嘗試參加二週目比賽，那時候便不會規限字數。

完。738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdUjWqEvy9R

216.73.216.86

ns216.73.216.86da2
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評《悲》
Essay
Last updated: Dec 29, 2017
Total word count: 1,079
Total reading time: 4 Minutes
評《悲》
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