I blinked and I looked at the Idiot, he was waving his hand in front of my face. I glared at him, and he seemed to back down in fear. Typical, he had always been afraid of me. Not that I didn’t give him a plethora of reasons to be so fucking scared.
“What?” I demand, he had broken my gaze away from Kelsi. She was wearing a skirt today, and I was… Well, I was thinking of walking over to her and ravishing her right there. To just go over and- Now he’s waving his hand in front of my face again.
“What?” I repeat.
“I said: ‘Hey Toni we have a project to do.’” He repeated his statement that I ignored in favor of staring at Kelsi. Seriously, what a pointless thing to say while I was clearly busy… Looking at Kelsi, but still. It was important to me god dammit.
“So?” I ask, incredulously, he shrugs. I roll my eyes, fucking idiot I swear. “I was busy you mother fucker. And you do it like you always do.” I snap at him.
“It’s a four person project. Maybe you could invite Kelsi and her partner to be with us?” He suggests, and I blink at him several times. A group project, of four… This could be my opportunity. I nod at him.
“Okay. I’ll get Kelsi and her partner.” I say, getting up and walking over to Kelsi’s seat, she was sitting with her lab partner. He was looking over the assignment, when I go to their table he looked at me quizzically.
It was like a dumb stereotypical high school story. Two blonde haired kids partnered together to make the ‘perfect’ group. The boy had short blonde hair, and dark eyes, wearing a grey hoodie and dark jeans, overall. Looked like a tool. Fuck him, he doesn’t get to sit by Kelsi, and stare at her all day in that sexy ass skirt… Wait, no. Stop. You’re getting off topic. Just ask her.
“Hey, Kels. You and your partner should come work with us.” I say to them, but my tone of voice just happened to be kinda commanding. I think I scared her, or she’s just infatuated by me, I wish… But- Stop, she’s talking, pay attention dumb ass!
“-Would that be okay?” She asked her partner, he shrugged. They got up and walked over with me back to the lab table, the Idiot seemed to be reading the instructions, and struggling with them. Thus my name for him: Idiot. I sat next to him, Kelsi sat across from me. And the blonde douche sat across from the idiot.
“Hey brah, didn’t know it was you.” Dethunter said to the blonde douche. I glared at him, before I felt someone staring at me, it was Blondie, I glance at her, she notices and blushes slightly before looking down at her paper.
“For sure man.” The blonde douche answered, I glared at the two of them, and they seemed to be ignoring me and Kelsi. Fucking idiots. I do wonder why Kelsi blushed, I mean. I did catch her staring, but what was she fucking doing? Maybe she likes you. I doubt that.
“So, Oliver what’s been up, how did you get partnered with Kelsi?” The Idiot asked, I looked up at the sound of her name, Dethunter seemed to notice and he chuckled a little bit. Fucking idiot, I’m going to kick his fucking ass if he laughs at me one more time.
“Nothing much. Just getting anally penetrated by Satan.” He shrugged. “Not too different from a normal day. But anyway we just sat together really, it’s not like we specifically picked each other.” He finished, I laughed despite myself. Kelsi gave him an annoyed look.
“Don’t joke about religion, you could get punished.” Kelsi said, The Blonde douche shrugged. I glared at him, no fucking body disregarded Kelsi, and I would rip out his spinal cord through his urethra. He noticed my glare and glanced at me, he seemed to be slightly scared, but he tried to hide it.
“Are you religious or something?” He asked, Kelsi nodded, I looked between them protectively. One off comment and I would come across the table, and make him wish that he had been anally penetrated by Satan, because my attack would be way worse.
“Yeah. Well, I don’t really know. I am, but I don’t share most of the views of my mom.” She said, I perked up at this, I figured she’d been a religious person, but I wasn’t so sure, I was glad to hear that she opposed some views of her religion. Did that include their stance on gays? Probably, she seemed to like me well enough.
“Well, what are those?” He asked her, I was interested too, but I didn’t want to ask her. To be honest I was kind of scared by her answer, because there is a chance that she does share her religions views on gays. I would probably slit my wrist vertically if so.
“I don’t agree that being gay is such a bad thing for one. But my mom would probably kill me if I said that to her, she is extremely devoted.” Kelsi said. Well what a fucking coincidence, Blonde Douche nodded, accepting her answer, he looked at me, I glared at him.
“Cool. Well, I think we should get to work on this. I’d rather not fail this class, know what I’m sayin’?” He said, before re focusing on his work, everyone agreed with him, and we started to work. Everything was going good, until Dethunter accidentally mixed a chemical wrong.
“You fucking idiot!” I yell at him, as gas starts to rise from the beaker, the teacher looks over. He noticed the smoke and his eyes widen, but otherwise he keeps his cool.
“Everyone file out of the class in an orderly fashion.” He orders us. But, fuck we’re teenagers, there’s an unknown gas flooding the room, what do you think happened next? Fucking chaos. Most students rushed out of the classroom. My group was second to last to get out of there. We had to stand in the hall while the teacher went to get another faculty member. Everyone turned to Dethunter, in a mix of praise for letting them escape the classroom, and anger that he had almost killed them.
“You fucking idiot.” I repeated, sending a death glare at him, he frowned, and put his arms up in defense. I would hit him, but Kelsi seemed to be scared, once I noticed this all my attention shifted to her, I looked at her to see her shaking a little bit, she was looking around worriedly. She looked at me and smiled weakly.
“Hi…” She mumbled, I tilted my head at her. She seemed so nervous, it hadn’t been like this before. Course I also skipped two days of school. Then I didn’t see her for the weekend, so she might feel ignored. Shouldn’t matter, we aren’t exactly best friends.
“Hey Blondie.” I say, she glared at me. Yup, she still hated that name, I smirked at her.
“I told you I didn’t like that name. Should I start calling you…? Um… What could I call you?” Kelsi wondered aloud, I laugh at her. She was so fucking cute sometimes, fuck all the mother fucking time. She was cute one hundred mother fucking percent of the mother fucking time. And she was wearing a skirt that really added to her cuteness. I loved when girls wore skirts, but I wouldn’t be caught dead in one.
“I know, Brownie!” Kelsi exclaimed, I glared at her. Clever little blonde bitch. Was that coincidence or fate? My favorite desert, or sweet ever was brownies. I will fucking demolish your life force if you try and come between me and brownies. I almost stabbed Dethunter one time when he tried to stop me from enjoying them.
My mom had made some brownies, and they were for her work. I was told not to eat any, along with my brother, and Dethunter. I was about to take one, he tried to stop me. I threatened him with a big knife, he backed down. I blamed it on my brother, and she believed me. God I’m so fucking good.
“Blondie, you can call me that all you want doesn’t mean I’ll respond to it.” I told her, and she deflated, and I felt my heart drop. I think I’ve gotten myself into some deep shit. I just now realized something important, but very, very bad.
I was in love with Kelsi. But I had sworn off love, see my problem? I can’t love her, I can’t do it. I won’t go through that again, but I guess it’s too late. I’m in love with this innocent little blonde girl. And she… Well, we know barely anything about each other. Well, I have two options. Cut off all contact, or embrace this, and try and pull her with me.
I knew my answer the moment I looked into her eyes, she trusted me. I could see it, I could fucking feel it. Even though we had barely interacted, she trusted me deeply. And I trusted her. I trusted her enough to let her in to my heart. So, I’m going to try and make her see, make her fall in love with me.
“Toni?” She asked me, in that sweet melodious voice of hers, outside I merely raised an eyebrow, but inside I was melting. I knew that my heart was already hers, she just had to see it. “Are you okay, you look like you’re spacing out…?” She said, worry in her voice, she was so fucking cute.
“I’m fine Kelsi.” I tell her, making sure to give her a smile afterwards, she blushed. Maybe she’s crushing on me, I don’t know. She looked away, with a smile.
“Would you two just fuck already?” Blonde Douche asked, I glared at him, he gave me a rather bored look, before laughing. “I was just kidding, jeez Toni.” He said, Kelsi gave me a look, and I knew what it meant. ‘I don’t like it when you’re mean.’
“It’s fine…” I trail off, not remembering his name. Dethunter gives me a surprised look, and I glare at him. Mother fucker, surprised I’m being nice. Fuck him. Then again, I always do act like a bitch towards him.
“Oliver.” He told me, giving me a half smile, I nod at him, before turning my attention back to Kelsi, to find her staring at me, again? But, why? That’s like the second time I’ve caught her staring at me, does that mean that she does like me, or what?
ADKoL.
I know she caught me that time, I was being so obvious. All weekend I was researching everything, I watched a lot of Disney movies about love, I even read a couple stories online about love. What it means what if feels like, etc… I had been trying to picture how it would feel like to kiss her, I had been doing that with a lot of people. Even Oliver, and Dethunter. But those two just didn’t even feel right at all, I felt sick afterwards.
But with Toni… It was a different feeling. It felt right, and that was what scared me. I think I have my first crush, because I began to notice little things about her. Whenever she was angry her brown eyes became darker, or seemed like it. And she always grit her teeth before speaking when she was angry.
I noticed how whenever she could she always placed herself next to Dethunter, even though she insulted him if he said anything at all, but they still stood by each other. And she always seemed to look slightly irritated, it was her default facial expression. And now she’s looking right at me, but she didn’t look irritated, just bored.
“What’s up Blondie, see something you like?” She asked, smirking at me, causing me to blush, I blinked several times, she raised an eyebrow, waiting for my answer. I loved it when she looked at me, I absolutely loved it, and I craved seeing her look at me. But I shouldn’t feel like that, it was supposed to be weird. A boy and a girl were supposed to be together. But I didn’t have a problem with gay people, it just doesn’t seem wrong like my mother said, but it was supposed to be weird for me to feel this way. But it just felt so right. I gulped, gaining some courage before I spoke.
“Maybe I do.” I whispered, and Toni just stopped, blinking several times, I looked at Oliver who was looking between us in amusement. Dethunter was watching shocked, I looked in Toni’s eyes, and saw something other than her usual anger in her brown eyes, I couldn’t place what it was. It was something I had never seen before.
“Kelsi, I-“
“Okay everyone! You’ll have to move to the commons until we have the air cleared!” The teacher yelled, interrupting Toni. We all listened to him, and moved to the commons.
My parents were called about the incident, and they pulled me out of school early. When I got home I sat in my room, and wondered what Toni had wanted to say to me before she was interrupted. I still didn’t know if I was gay, but I did know that I had a crush, on a girl. Maybe it was just hero worship, I mean she did save me from bullies, but no. I think it was before that. The moment I looked into her eyes, I knew something was different about her, and how I felt about her. I was drawn to her.
My phone rang the next second and I grabbed it, I didn’t know the number, but I answered anyway. I would just hang up if it was someone I didn’t want to talk to.
“Hello?” I answer, feeling nervous, I hear someone chuckle.
“Hey Blondie.” I hear Toni say, her voice sounded a little different on the phone, it sounded slightly deeper.
“Toni? How did you get my number?” I ask. This was progress, I mean if we started to talk more and get to know each other, I could find out my feelings.
“I have my ways Blondie.” She told me. I’ll admit it still annoyed me that she didn’t say my real name half the time.
“Oh…” I said dumbly, I heard her laugh.
“So, I was wondering if I could come over some time.” Toni said, I blinked. Everything was falling into place.
“Yeah. That’d be fun Toni. Because I really want to get to know you. You seem really cool.” I say, she laughs.
“I’m glad. Okay, just give me your address and I’ll be over tomorrow night.” Toni said, I smiled and gave her my address. I could tell that this year was going to be amazing.
When Toni came over she told me all about her pep talk to this girl named Janice. She was one of Dethunter’s friends from the next town over. I’ll admit I was a little jealous when she told me that this girl was beautiful. Thankfully Janice had a boyfriend. Someone named Zack who had gone missing at the beginning of the school year. That was bad, but it was good to know that I didn’t have to compete with any other girl.
About a month of us hanging out and we were damn near inseparable. We were best friends, well. I was Toni’s best friend who was noticeably female, since she also considered Dethunter female, but not noticeably so. She was so fucking mean to him some times I swear. Oh god, I’m starting to curse more, yup. That was a byproduct of hanging out with Toni so much, she had started to rub off on me. I wish she would rub on me sometimes- Wait, stop thinking like that! Dirty, dirty, dirty!
Right now we were walking to our last class together, the halls were basically empty, and it was pretty surreal. Being next to such a beautiful girl, alone, with no one to interrupt or stare. That is until we saw Jeremy Gold, without his usual posse of jocks surrounding him.
“Hey, the Dyke has a pet.” He taunted, as he slammed his locker shut, I didn’t like him at all, he was a jerk. He was just an asshole most of the time, and he was the biggest bully in school. There were rumors that he and his buddies actually put a kid in the hospital because he was gay. I could feel Toni’s anger spike as she heard him, usually I would calm her down, but I hated Jeremy, so I just let her do what she wanted.
“What was that?” Toni snapped, her hand reached out to grab mine for support. It was our own little communication system, if I squeezed her hand hard she would stop, if I let her go she knew she could just go and do what she wanted. That way she knew she wouldn’t worry me, or make me angry. It was very complex.
“Oh, I called you a Dyke, along with your little pet.” Jeremy said, and I just let her hand go, she smirked and advanced on him, I stayed back, just in case things got violent.
“Say that a little fucking louder.” Toni demanded, as she got in his face, he didn’t back down just stared at her, anger evident in his expression. I would be worried, but Toni could usually take care of herself in a fight, even though he was bigger than her.
“Oh, okay I guess you couldn’t hear me. I said: Fuck you Dyke!” He yelled, and the next thing happened fast, one second they were staring each other down, and the next he was on the ground, holding his face, Toni put her foot in-between his legs, and grabbed him by his shirt collar, pulling him up. It looked painful.
“If I ever fucking see you again, I will rip your mother fucking spinal cord out and strangle you with it, are we clear?” Toni demanded, Jeremy glared at her and spat in her face, she let out an enraged noise and prepared to hit him again, but he brought his hand up first and punched her across the face, she fell off of him, and she didn’t get back up, he did though, and he glared down at her, before delivering a kick to her ribs.
I felt something ignite inside me. He can't touch her like that! She was a girl! She was Toni! She was mine! And I would be damned if I let anyone fucking touch my girl like that! I stormed up to him, and he laughed at me, before kicking her ribs yet again.
“What are you gonna do?” He asked, obviously not scared of me, that was a big mistake. I glared at him, and delivered a well-placed kick to the balls, he fell down in pain, it turns out I could kick harder than I thought. I looked down at Toni and she had a bloody lip, and it looked like blood was pooling around her head. I panicked. Thankfully someone had heard the struggle and came to help.
ADKoL.
I was falling. Falling into darkness. I don’t know what happened. I think that mother fucker hit me. I would kill him, how dare he take me away from her. I had grown so attached to her over the past month. Even Rachel noticed it. She even stopped letting me sleep with her since I was too hung up on Kelsi. She said that if I had it this bad then she would feel shitty if she continued it. We still remained friends though.
I felt myself land on something, but when I opened my eyes, and saw black. Darkness was all around me, I was lying on nothing. It felt like forever before I could pull myself up off the ground if one could call it that. It was just nothing I guess. Everything looked the same. I just stared walking, what else was I supposed to do? Stand there like a fucking jack ass?
It felt like I had been walking for a lifetime before I saw something that stood out in the darkness. It was pure white, I blinked and ran towards it. Finally something or someone. Maybe it was the way out that would be nice. Maybe it was heaven who am I kidding, it’s probably hell, he did hit me pretty hard. It took a lot to knock me out, but this had never happened before.
As I got closer to the white thing, I saw that it wasn’t a way out, or the afterlife. It was a person, just standing there, looking down, puzzled. Maybe he could help me, but he seemed just as confused. The closer I got the more I saw. He was a little taller than me, my age it seemed like. But something about him made him seem older, wiser.
He glanced up at me, he looked nice. Not just his looks but his whole vibe screamed nice-guy. His deep blue eyes studied me, looking me up and down. I’ll admit I was lost in them, they were so deep, like I could easily find out whatever he wanted to say, just by looking at them, they were so honest.
He was tan, and had shoulder length black hair, his hair was parted down the middle. He was wearing a pure white hoodie, and dark jeans. I looked down at my own attire. I was wearing a grey shirt, and black jeans. I looked back up, and noticed he had fully turned towards me. I saw that he had a little bit of muscle under his hoodie.
“Hey, you’re stuck here too?” He asked me, his voice seemed so genuine, and kind. But there was something behind it that sounded inexplicably sad. I felt this overwhelming desire just to hug him, but I didn’t. I didn’t know this person, not at all.
“Yeah. What is this place?” I asked him, he hummed and seemed to think before answering. Something about him made me trust him for some insane reason. His eyes reminded me so much of Kelsi’s, maybe that was it.
“I have no idea. I just know one second I was trying out some new spirit, and the next I was here. I probably pushed myself too hard and ended up knocking myself out. How did you get here?” He asked me, I stammered for a second. He was just so open, even though I had no fucking clue what he was talking about.
“Some guy insulted me and I hit him, then I guess he knocked me out.” I said, feeling my lip. I couldn’t feel pain, but I knew just from the discomfort he had hit me there, but that hadn’t knocked me out, that was probably the floors doing when my head slammed into it.
I saw the boy clench his fists in anger, and he closed he eyes. His jaw clenched and unclenched a couple of times, and I saw him visibly shaking in anger. When he opened his eyes up, I saw pure rage in them, it seemed foreign, and unwelcome compared to his usual look. It scared me, and nothing scared me.
“That is horrible.” He said, I could hear the venom in his voice. The hate, pure, and absolute radiating from him. It was a good thing it wasn’t directed at me.
“I know, I need to get back though. Kelsi is probably… Oh my god, if that mother fucker hurt her.” I say, my own anger spiking, just at the thought of that, I closed my eyes, the next second I feel arms wrap around me, and my body is crushed against his, it was firm, but gentle at the same time. I would have shoved anyone else away. Except for Kelsi, for obvious reasons.
Something about this guy seemed so trusting, and loving. I didn’t know who he was, but I honestly did trust him, so I hugged him back.
“Why are you doing this?” I ask him, and I hear him chuckle.
“Because you looked so sad. And because I’m not with my love either.” He answered me, I never once told him a thing.
“I never said that she was my love.” I told him, he shrugged.
“I could tell. But, I’m sure both of them are fine. I’m definitely feeling better, how about you?” He asked me, I nodded.
“Yeah. I don’t know how, but I somehow feel better about this whole situation.” I say, he pulls away to smile at me. That seemed like a fitting look for him.
“Two lost hearts, brought together to help each other get home.” He said, I smiled, then laughed. He joined in afterwards. After we calmed down, something in the air was noticeably different, it felt lighter. Then all of a sudden he started to fade away, I looked down and discovered the same was happening to me.
“What the fuck is going on?” I ask, looking to him for guidance, he smiled at me, content with whatever was happening. He always seemed to go back to looking just content.
“We’re both waking up. That’s a good thing. I hope we meet again… Um, what is your name?” He asked me.
“My name’s Toni. Yours?” I ask, he smiled at me. I had this inexplicable feeling that I was going to see him again. And that by meeting him something had changed in my life, something about me had changed, I could feel it. Everything was going to be okay. And I wasn’t going to wait anymore. When I got the chance I would tell Kelsi how I felt about her, consequences be damned.
“Zack.” He said, and the next second everything stopped, and I woke up.
ns 172.69.7.30da2
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