你好,我是莊坌但。314Please respect copyright.PENANAXzTxS9NH31
314Please respect copyright.PENANA1pPSvfaGgu
等等,你現在一定「噗嗤」的笑了出來,然後想著這是什麼白痴名字啊?314Please respect copyright.PENANAYBDuXhb91B
314Please respect copyright.PENANAWW9fd6ww1g
對,我也覺得這名字很白痴,尤其這還是我爸整整一年叫我兒子,終於在我一歲整時,去找個算命師特別算出來的名字,據說是九五之尊的好名字。314Please respect copyright.PENANA0nJYKpgftb
314Please respect copyright.PENANA0jStNJVXGK
我覺得這應該是九五加滿的屁名字,九五個屁。314Please respect copyright.PENANArNR29ACyiC
314Please respect copyright.PENANAs6RiSyYL0m
再說說當我爸第二天再帶我去找那個算命師時,那個算命師竟然被警察抄掉了。314Please respect copyright.PENANANg9EvYmFh4
314Please respect copyright.PENANA7VUGshlWFa
媽的,在我面前被抄掉耶。314Please respect copyright.PENANANje3YHDvds
314Please respect copyright.PENANAfXRi8iI7NJ
我想這件事絕對對我造成很大的創傷,不然我也不會把一歲發生的事記到現在了。314Please respect copyright.PENANARK0AjkkVbK
314Please respect copyright.PENANAxfiBYvUiPa
更別說每次的自我介紹了,那簡直是地獄。314Please respect copyright.PENANAykJUrE7HC2
314Please respect copyright.PENANA3yIb5xGgij
「大家好,我叫……黑板上的就是我的名字。」我總是低著頭,不想看到班上同學討論我名字的嘴臉,那會讓我不小心上社會新聞頭版。314Please respect copyright.PENANAVeO3mV5sP7
314Please respect copyright.PENANAqBuDb1GbWf
小學一年級,同學看不懂我的名字,還有種「你好屌喔」的感覺。314Please respect copyright.PENANAnJxdcKJ4EH
314Please respect copyright.PENANAySzwHQ8Slf
到了小學六年級,那真的很恐怖。314Please respect copyright.PENANAhU9uUTiSNE
314Please respect copyright.PENANAx1t0iybRZA
「喂,那叫莊什麼但?」一個看起來長大會拿刀跟別人問好的同學,轉頭問一個年紀輕輕就戴了看起來和戴起來度數都超深的眼鏡的同學。314Please respect copyright.PENANASHodESzkS2
314Please respect copyright.PENANAC3tYOTZ5z8
「坌,念起來就跟笨蛋的笨一樣。」戴眼鏡的同學想都沒想就講出來。314Please respect copyright.PENANAAVFJjjT1hV
314Please respect copyright.PENANACrai7b9Yqf
全班開始爆笑,我只能站在台上傻笑,一直笑,不然我會想掐死那個戴眼鏡的同學。314Please respect copyright.PENANAPi3ruoL1zC
314Please respect copyright.PENANAhrEDiC8QUo
請把這個畫面重播,這也是我國高中自我介紹時,所發生的慘劇。314Please respect copyright.PENANAFBtZWHytAM
314Please respect copyright.PENANAwxplePQk0n
而我的綽號,也一路走來,始終如一的「笨蛋」加上一個會心一笑。314Please respect copyright.PENANAFY9bZyl6w2
314Please respect copyright.PENANAI2FDZV5Fcj
大學聯誼時,我想我就像是在地獄被天使笑吧。314Please respect copyright.PENANALi2wLp2BDU
314Please respect copyright.PENANARR9DTJqhon
「你好,我是……」314Please respect copyright.PENANA51pkxWR29u
314Please respect copyright.PENANA5L0hpOj4k7
「他的名字叫莊坌但喔!超厲害的對不對?坌就是大坌坑文化那個坌,但就是但是的那個但,所以我們都叫他笨蛋喔,超屌的對不對?」314Please respect copyright.PENANAH30AtNt99y
314Please respect copyright.PENANApzUDvMqEjx
室友真是幫我介紹的相當好……個屁!314Please respect copyright.PENANAwZySWOvGuM
314Please respect copyright.PENANAK20dK5lTWP
我就只能傻愣愣的笑,然後對面女生就摀著嘴笑。314Please respect copyright.PENANAVvJ87xvqzL
314Please respect copyright.PENANA7YgwLelApo
偏偏,我的長相比普通還普通,也沒有有錢的老爸,更沒有找男人屁眼的癖好,所以我一直沒有女朋友。314Please respect copyright.PENANAkSpXiM2DWt
314Please respect copyright.PENANA9USBpmaKnx
畢竟,誰也不想叫「笨蛋的女朋友」吧?314Please respect copyright.PENANAoj4o2LgCGu
314Please respect copyright.PENANAX7LogXDiWl
再說說我的人生吧,這名字絕對是個詛咒!314Please respect copyright.PENANAhS7CiOOhTy
314Please respect copyright.PENANAFZDrkFN6dw
從小體適能1600跑走就是我的惡夢,更別說在那段期間我身體的抵抗力還會自動升級一個level!314Please respect copyright.PENANAoNNFYNiN4A
314Please respect copyright.PENANAWIk2dR6862
此時你一定會想,抵抗力提升有啥不好?314Please respect copyright.PENANAjMGJraXCgH
314Please respect copyright.PENANAlqI4O7LNJv
不好啊非常的不好啊!314Please respect copyright.PENANAYAMySh1Sh2
314Please respect copyright.PENANAGLnOJvR3z7
感冒簡直跟我是好碰友,我家擺的藥也簡直可以開一間藥局了。314Please respect copyright.PENANAlR1aniS0sH
314Please respect copyright.PENANAyrHRosn73P
而體育老師的規定,只要身體不舒服就可以不用參加,前提是,他會陪著你去保健室。314Please respect copyright.PENANAVAuyWhaoqp
314Please respect copyright.PENANAXVYby1ET1C
但是,就算測體適能前一天,我的鼻子還在被鼻涕強姦,只要一覺醒來,我就能夠用鼻子呼吸,然後痰也會自動消失,肚子痛什麼的也一併痊癒!314Please respect copyright.PENANAHybplcteu0
314Please respect copyright.PENANAxigW1dBfPj
然後我當然只能哀怨的等著老師點到我的名字,接著緩緩的跑完1600……或是走完。314Please respect copyright.PENANAS4OfapCiIf
314Please respect copyright.PENANA8N1cihn8sL
出了社會,總是得找份工作。314Please respect copyright.PENANAVHGHdEwlUu
314Please respect copyright.PENANAyJJCMxZlSA
我自己買了台50CC通勤。314Please respect copyright.PENANAP7XEajBlSz
314Please respect copyright.PENANAN0nRWiMJbC
但我想它跟我一樣,體弱多病。314Please respect copyright.PENANA7BJ7Skey90
314Please respect copyright.PENANAldxxm7QqDo
常常停個紅燈後,它就不想動了,所以我得一個月去車行一次,不然我就只能走路去上班。314Please respect copyright.PENANAcx16jWJxPx
314Please respect copyright.PENANAau6ZN9H7wA
而且我想,它是台只要載別人就會很威猛的50CC。314Please respect copyright.PENANA6VpE8op5RJ
314Please respect copyright.PENANAQuFDbMdOwo
「坌但我今天坐公車來,等等載我回家喔。」314Please respect copyright.PENANAB9opIb9r1f
314Please respect copyright.PENANAMufpntzIgi
「喔,不過我的50CC很爛,有可能一半就掛了喔。」314Please respect copyright.PENANAE2KTX1YU5R
314Please respect copyright.PENANA0sXdmpnY1x
「哎呀,沒差啦,真的掛了再說。」314Please respect copyright.PENANAY5lHFYC0d4
314Please respect copyright.PENANA9ZQu5kY9gF
然後,我很順利的將同事載回去,而我家的50CC在路上連熄火都沒有。314Please respect copyright.PENANAuqVF3poLxW
314Please respect copyright.PENANAoBRV51WWm3
「沒很爛啊,聽它引擎的聲音感覺很猛咧。」同事在他家門前這樣說。314Please respect copyright.PENANAp6so3R7vPg
314Please respect copyright.PENANA7rfm3PGc1u
我發動50CC,然後同事關門。314Please respect copyright.PENANAjn9BbNvGdU
314Please respect copyright.PENANAKFT1Pfb70Q
它熄火,我傻眼。314Please respect copyright.PENANAtUPZUzx7ET
314Please respect copyright.PENANAcy66rSnTd8
好險我跟我同事回家的路是同一條,所以我一邊緩緩的牽著它回家,一邊罵著它這台竟然給主人熄火的50CC。314Please respect copyright.PENANAhebNBlsp4G
314Please respect copyright.PENANA54sSWjrDNX
當然,出了社會還是沒有女朋友。314Please respect copyright.PENANAmRqpx59Cvx
314Please respect copyright.PENANAFGSJWAXbYG
畢竟誰也不想當「笨蛋的女朋友」乃至於「笨蛋的老婆」吧。314Please respect copyright.PENANAE0ClfZlFc7
314Please respect copyright.PENANArtPOlUS9OR
但叫坌但又不是我的錯!314Please respect copyright.PENANAS4LyMjVneq
314Please respect copyright.PENANAQyjA51F2Fs
我無聊環顧著新租來的房子──前一棟因為地震垮了,隔壁的房子頂多家具壞掉,偏偏就我的整棟垮掉──看到了我目前用不到,以後可能也用不到的雙人沙發。314Please respect copyright.PENANAQs1VNcLGwT
314Please respect copyright.PENANA191Qn1BTDP
我打開筆電,百無聊賴的看著日本的動畫,也許我還是希望能夠像裡面的主角一樣,開個後宮吧?314Please respect copyright.PENANASlhA90YiNs
314Please respect copyright.PENANAElcVeF7s9V
不過那就叫「笨蛋的後宮」了,想到這裡,我竟然不自禁的笑了出來,笑到眼淚都飆了出來。314Please respect copyright.PENANACr5k3lmBGA
314Please respect copyright.PENANALRzOty9h0d
混帳,一個人的人生哪是名字能夠決定的啊!314Please respect copyright.PENANACXzjpLL9GH
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笨蛋與殺手
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笨蛋與殺手
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