你好，我是莊坌但。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLui5DAXSo6
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpwS9eccOnG
等等，你現在一定「噗嗤」的笑了出來，然後想著這是什麼白痴名字啊？506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPo15f4QwYS
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDMeASSIljR
對，我也覺得這名字很白痴，尤其這還是我爸整整一年叫我兒子，終於在我一歲整時，去找個算命師特別算出來的名字，據說是九五之尊的好名字。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP9ezztqN8H
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡye5TwSc5Jt
我覺得這應該是九五加滿的屁名字，九五個屁。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR6O4kLIQPA
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgBYuTxOvk8
再說說當我爸第二天再帶我去找那個算命師時，那個算命師竟然被警察抄掉了。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs3Wc8cUzXL
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvtLgR1Pn4E
媽的，在我面前被抄掉耶。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuDohRSNRtA
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Ooo9FbyyP
我想這件事絕對對我造成很大的創傷，不然我也不會把一歲發生的事記到現在了。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoWkBt4wYQi
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ZTXnrSIXd
更別說每次的自我介紹了，那簡直是地獄。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpkfyIqLguA
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYdxOW0EzGS
「大家好，我叫……黑板上的就是我的名字。」我總是低著頭，不想看到班上同學討論我名字的嘴臉，那會讓我不小心上社會新聞頭版。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDkPbfaiFfA
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWYL5P3gWKN
小學一年級，同學看不懂我的名字，還有種「你好屌喔」的感覺。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq7lGvYoXV2
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡawlTc1DND2
到了小學六年級，那真的很恐怖。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjnMngNevjF
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8fem9R1Jdm
「喂，那叫莊什麼但？」一個看起來長大會拿刀跟別人問好的同學，轉頭問一個年紀輕輕就戴了看起來和戴起來度數都超深的眼鏡的同學。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTF4Xx6KwdM
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiQCNQfGM0d
「坌，念起來就跟笨蛋的笨一樣。」戴眼鏡的同學想都沒想就講出來。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkRf227mdK8
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGCE6uJvVnc
全班開始爆笑，我只能站在台上傻笑，一直笑，不然我會想掐死那個戴眼鏡的同學。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOaNLmSLiAv
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkneWtjU4d7
請把這個畫面重播，這也是我國高中自我介紹時，所發生的慘劇。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrzU8Ekpx9q
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg3b5hYyx6D
而我的綽號，也一路走來，始終如一的「笨蛋」加上一個會心一笑。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgT6K8nhQ1n
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKx1OvskuQ9
大學聯誼時，我想我就像是在地獄被天使笑吧。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3vzataLRLd
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLDFJb6P6SB
「你好，我是……」506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyTK7NCq8rH
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnMadoWavIf
「他的名字叫莊坌但喔！超厲害的對不對？坌就是大坌坑文化那個坌，但就是但是的那個但，所以我們都叫他笨蛋喔，超屌的對不對？」506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1tRKHCnzUm
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYFS5jhwmME
室友真是幫我介紹的相當好……個屁！506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYRbFj8kmOB
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxoG9A8fhtB
我就只能傻愣愣的笑，然後對面女生就摀著嘴笑。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyMzJZH7ylV
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXxLJgyViPY
偏偏，我的長相比普通還普通，也沒有有錢的老爸，更沒有找男人屁眼的癖好，所以我一直沒有女朋友。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQAkX2HxxfS
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlADgOtkpot
畢竟，誰也不想叫「笨蛋的女朋友」吧？506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGhOhXOGQ8T
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ34mEz8Ie0W
再說說我的人生吧，這名字絕對是個詛咒！506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnkpwrslPhk
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkBnHtQCCPL
從小體適能1600跑走就是我的惡夢，更別說在那段期間我身體的抵抗力還會自動升級一個level！506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzYz5sGnSQu
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQroV7a2jZ3
此時你一定會想，抵抗力提升有啥不好？506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEh3y56kXx1
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSOFfHWmC49
不好啊非常的不好啊！506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtdgnc1tutI
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Quc0tTcGn
感冒簡直跟我是好碰友，我家擺的藥也簡直可以開一間藥局了。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl0XwR7X9pZ
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnOB2r0Nfos
而體育老師的規定，只要身體不舒服就可以不用參加，前提是，他會陪著你去保健室。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv3AsXpLliA
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTYBscSW30l
但是，就算測體適能前一天，我的鼻子還在被鼻涕強姦，只要一覺醒來，我就能夠用鼻子呼吸，然後痰也會自動消失，肚子痛什麼的也一併痊癒！506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTUvNU6d6Qw
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡioTCyIGlvz
然後我當然只能哀怨的等著老師點到我的名字，接著緩緩的跑完1600……或是走完。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Iq2qKUvoS
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlDGdi2qe1J
出了社會，總是得找份工作。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ15OxAj2PCn
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhQ0ee62nGk
我自己買了台50CC通勤。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEPXRbKoigB
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8JR7AeeVrU
但我想它跟我一樣，體弱多病。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSdTmODaYLL
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzlm8JjEjwO
常常停個紅燈後，它就不想動了，所以我得一個月去車行一次，不然我就只能走路去上班。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv6BVC6ApId
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7xsFjq5iXD
而且我想，它是台只要載別人就會很威猛的50CC。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3hAd7bi3I4
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSkBsHyiMTJ
「坌但我今天坐公車來，等等載我回家喔。」506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYb4LV7eVYS
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuDcdzbbNhl
「喔，不過我的50CC很爛，有可能一半就掛了喔。」506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc4LmBg3l2i
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnobyfI9MKc
「哎呀，沒差啦，真的掛了再說。」506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5DRMTqJUlN
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfYH5wQBKg6
然後，我很順利的將同事載回去，而我家的50CC在路上連熄火都沒有。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXtTg7KyDj3
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqifDx92mx1
「沒很爛啊，聽它引擎的聲音感覺很猛咧。」同事在他家門前這樣說。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡehrSNFSQb2
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR3vugV5xTF
我發動50CC，然後同事關門。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlcHqh52R3X
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4DuHy1ytIC
它熄火，我傻眼。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgNd7V5kb3f
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlyObldljAY
好險我跟我同事回家的路是同一條，所以我一邊緩緩的牽著它回家，一邊罵著它這台竟然給主人熄火的50CC。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKhAGceqTr2
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp62eH45xQe
當然，出了社會還是沒有女朋友。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaEgK0DzVaX
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCd8Ay90sHx
畢竟誰也不想當「笨蛋的女朋友」乃至於「笨蛋的老婆」吧。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaa0fU672l3
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ70botgSalz
但叫坌但又不是我的錯！506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzylybLTY9u
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPc6eyVK3H8
我無聊環顧著新租來的房子──前一棟因為地震垮了，隔壁的房子頂多家具壞掉，偏偏就我的整棟垮掉──看到了我目前用不到，以後可能也用不到的雙人沙發。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMzbcL9yDXI
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwBfDYUfmXG
我打開筆電，百無聊賴的看著日本的動畫，也許我還是希望能夠像裡面的主角一樣，開個後宮吧？506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB0t9kGxzpK
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWVHqU6oc5p
不過那就叫「笨蛋的後宮」了，想到這裡，我竟然不自禁的笑了出來，笑到眼淚都飆了出來。506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2y6qKUXZn6
506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Oh2Lj2VuR
混帳，一個人的人生哪是名字能夠決定的啊！506Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1oLtUCCcHh
笨蛋與殺手
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