你好,我是莊坌但。437Please respect copyright.PENANArvbGnmwlRJ
437Please respect copyright.PENANA0YhBGtvSNG
等等,你現在一定「噗嗤」的笑了出來,然後想著這是什麼白痴名字啊?437Please respect copyright.PENANAmT35ct7sJU
437Please respect copyright.PENANArRSnru58rr
對,我也覺得這名字很白痴,尤其這還是我爸整整一年叫我兒子,終於在我一歲整時,去找個算命師特別算出來的名字,據說是九五之尊的好名字。437Please respect copyright.PENANAN5u92kFexg
437Please respect copyright.PENANA5etn4JUSMM
我覺得這應該是九五加滿的屁名字,九五個屁。437Please respect copyright.PENANA5fHErIiZL6
437Please respect copyright.PENANAMTNdaLZen8
再說說當我爸第二天再帶我去找那個算命師時,那個算命師竟然被警察抄掉了。437Please respect copyright.PENANArdC7o6pebk
437Please respect copyright.PENANA19NLWMC1Nj
媽的,在我面前被抄掉耶。437Please respect copyright.PENANA0NVeK0gK0k
437Please respect copyright.PENANAjysKvpVStO
我想這件事絕對對我造成很大的創傷,不然我也不會把一歲發生的事記到現在了。437Please respect copyright.PENANAtTcU65uG22
437Please respect copyright.PENANATQVf4YNWF7
更別說每次的自我介紹了,那簡直是地獄。437Please respect copyright.PENANA4IMjoSAxOD
437Please respect copyright.PENANAgwmTK5uLGv
「大家好,我叫……黑板上的就是我的名字。」我總是低著頭,不想看到班上同學討論我名字的嘴臉,那會讓我不小心上社會新聞頭版。437Please respect copyright.PENANAqrFvFaAmqF
437Please respect copyright.PENANAn2giDglKzC
小學一年級,同學看不懂我的名字,還有種「你好屌喔」的感覺。437Please respect copyright.PENANAUHlaUDHQtv
437Please respect copyright.PENANAq9PwB03XGJ
到了小學六年級,那真的很恐怖。437Please respect copyright.PENANAob39siaW7B
437Please respect copyright.PENANAnJ3GHm1HZ4
「喂,那叫莊什麼但?」一個看起來長大會拿刀跟別人問好的同學,轉頭問一個年紀輕輕就戴了看起來和戴起來度數都超深的眼鏡的同學。437Please respect copyright.PENANAXnsaZuK0YS
437Please respect copyright.PENANArE5JrHgj7v
「坌,念起來就跟笨蛋的笨一樣。」戴眼鏡的同學想都沒想就講出來。437Please respect copyright.PENANAdfSwNB63ZL
437Please respect copyright.PENANAM921kigs7m
全班開始爆笑,我只能站在台上傻笑,一直笑,不然我會想掐死那個戴眼鏡的同學。437Please respect copyright.PENANAvBR47dbtS9
437Please respect copyright.PENANAtPk5DiXeVg
請把這個畫面重播,這也是我國高中自我介紹時,所發生的慘劇。437Please respect copyright.PENANA0WomzMRwbZ
437Please respect copyright.PENANALNZIRweVqk
而我的綽號,也一路走來,始終如一的「笨蛋」加上一個會心一笑。437Please respect copyright.PENANAaMVCd5olw5
437Please respect copyright.PENANAd0515v5wAv
大學聯誼時,我想我就像是在地獄被天使笑吧。437Please respect copyright.PENANAJdwuDUiJBd
437Please respect copyright.PENANAUJvqHM1gDR
「你好,我是……」437Please respect copyright.PENANA2GdJx3aY9q
437Please respect copyright.PENANAM7DsEPAikk
「他的名字叫莊坌但喔!超厲害的對不對?坌就是大坌坑文化那個坌,但就是但是的那個但,所以我們都叫他笨蛋喔,超屌的對不對?」437Please respect copyright.PENANAbRcQIJrBK0
437Please respect copyright.PENANA94AAysL7x8
室友真是幫我介紹的相當好……個屁!437Please respect copyright.PENANAklOH1TDD4a
437Please respect copyright.PENANAIf3OrACmYg
我就只能傻愣愣的笑,然後對面女生就摀著嘴笑。437Please respect copyright.PENANAjhVgdRfTdI
437Please respect copyright.PENANAJDBkpxnZ7h
偏偏,我的長相比普通還普通,也沒有有錢的老爸,更沒有找男人屁眼的癖好,所以我一直沒有女朋友。437Please respect copyright.PENANAaVmKDZE8ju
437Please respect copyright.PENANAT5gLxfCTXE
畢竟,誰也不想叫「笨蛋的女朋友」吧?437Please respect copyright.PENANAHzjR9hPVFU
437Please respect copyright.PENANAQ72h0pEfIR
再說說我的人生吧,這名字絕對是個詛咒!437Please respect copyright.PENANALKg6WQVsp6
437Please respect copyright.PENANAo2kYoRdW1m
從小體適能1600跑走就是我的惡夢,更別說在那段期間我身體的抵抗力還會自動升級一個level!437Please respect copyright.PENANANLHXPlrJkl
437Please respect copyright.PENANA5qYw8fXxlD
此時你一定會想,抵抗力提升有啥不好?437Please respect copyright.PENANAhwy7usS2Kg
437Please respect copyright.PENANApyfh3kjEvT
不好啊非常的不好啊!437Please respect copyright.PENANACqhMxOJPQd
437Please respect copyright.PENANADnxDoy8S7a
感冒簡直跟我是好碰友,我家擺的藥也簡直可以開一間藥局了。437Please respect copyright.PENANAeuZRDeldf8
437Please respect copyright.PENANAj7rlibS5EV
而體育老師的規定,只要身體不舒服就可以不用參加,前提是,他會陪著你去保健室。437Please respect copyright.PENANAQ4a1mBMOUM
437Please respect copyright.PENANAxGt4XOlVw6
但是,就算測體適能前一天,我的鼻子還在被鼻涕強姦,只要一覺醒來,我就能夠用鼻子呼吸,然後痰也會自動消失,肚子痛什麼的也一併痊癒!437Please respect copyright.PENANAu4PWZyhtz1
437Please respect copyright.PENANAdBkJQUefPq
然後我當然只能哀怨的等著老師點到我的名字,接著緩緩的跑完1600……或是走完。437Please respect copyright.PENANA76XM8Ocx7z
437Please respect copyright.PENANAX7RCPWqN4y
出了社會,總是得找份工作。437Please respect copyright.PENANAPVD6IwGGKR
437Please respect copyright.PENANA8fazulLDXN
我自己買了台50CC通勤。437Please respect copyright.PENANAcChHGNzH1w
437Please respect copyright.PENANAN0cfUfEM4H
但我想它跟我一樣,體弱多病。437Please respect copyright.PENANACop16RO4r4
437Please respect copyright.PENANADx1FkdkY6H
常常停個紅燈後,它就不想動了,所以我得一個月去車行一次,不然我就只能走路去上班。437Please respect copyright.PENANAE8bv4qKZWz
437Please respect copyright.PENANAQ6c3SKKtXm
而且我想,它是台只要載別人就會很威猛的50CC。437Please respect copyright.PENANA6LpoEAqs9t
437Please respect copyright.PENANAqzchCKP2CK
「坌但我今天坐公車來,等等載我回家喔。」437Please respect copyright.PENANAVcfvjB5Jv5
437Please respect copyright.PENANAylHPsDRyWM
「喔,不過我的50CC很爛,有可能一半就掛了喔。」437Please respect copyright.PENANAMquh3U9UdW
437Please respect copyright.PENANAYgDRb4arRD
「哎呀,沒差啦,真的掛了再說。」437Please respect copyright.PENANAVve00pa02u
437Please respect copyright.PENANASxkD7PFEtd
然後,我很順利的將同事載回去,而我家的50CC在路上連熄火都沒有。437Please respect copyright.PENANAC53l1ns2hU
437Please respect copyright.PENANA0X07E2LWmb
「沒很爛啊,聽它引擎的聲音感覺很猛咧。」同事在他家門前這樣說。437Please respect copyright.PENANA2aMhXCloya
437Please respect copyright.PENANACL8hl9Y8Ch
我發動50CC,然後同事關門。437Please respect copyright.PENANAfA6Sh8x7N0
437Please respect copyright.PENANA6fk6gtHASj
它熄火,我傻眼。437Please respect copyright.PENANAeV77ilkXAD
437Please respect copyright.PENANAHA18PSgsjo
好險我跟我同事回家的路是同一條,所以我一邊緩緩的牽著它回家,一邊罵著它這台竟然給主人熄火的50CC。437Please respect copyright.PENANAb6TXpkoqWp
437Please respect copyright.PENANAKA2fyziMBR
當然,出了社會還是沒有女朋友。437Please respect copyright.PENANA5R6wG9nsTQ
437Please respect copyright.PENANAwF2kJYzOyN
畢竟誰也不想當「笨蛋的女朋友」乃至於「笨蛋的老婆」吧。437Please respect copyright.PENANAYfGBiEGjcD
437Please respect copyright.PENANAuuex7F0yJI
但叫坌但又不是我的錯!437Please respect copyright.PENANAfY1qPmHOup
437Please respect copyright.PENANAdFJKKK4Qlc
我無聊環顧著新租來的房子──前一棟因為地震垮了,隔壁的房子頂多家具壞掉,偏偏就我的整棟垮掉──看到了我目前用不到,以後可能也用不到的雙人沙發。437Please respect copyright.PENANAJr60awBZgU
437Please respect copyright.PENANAwHZvEvdDBG
我打開筆電,百無聊賴的看著日本的動畫,也許我還是希望能夠像裡面的主角一樣,開個後宮吧?437Please respect copyright.PENANAH1EToaiy4q
437Please respect copyright.PENANA0t14oczWjJ
不過那就叫「笨蛋的後宮」了,想到這裡,我竟然不自禁的笑了出來,笑到眼淚都飆了出來。437Please respect copyright.PENANAKELHhDDmu8
437Please respect copyright.PENANAkGAjzamBum
混帳,一個人的人生哪是名字能夠決定的啊!437Please respect copyright.PENANAfO70g9QmBv
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笨蛋與殺手
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笨蛋與殺手
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