你好,我是莊坌但。305Please respect copyright.PENANAgMDZbi5FN4
305Please respect copyright.PENANAIT6QasvTA2
等等,你現在一定「噗嗤」的笑了出來,然後想著這是什麼白痴名字啊?305Please respect copyright.PENANAti8W8L12RZ
305Please respect copyright.PENANAt5NQH1SE27
對,我也覺得這名字很白痴,尤其這還是我爸整整一年叫我兒子,終於在我一歲整時,去找個算命師特別算出來的名字,據說是九五之尊的好名字。305Please respect copyright.PENANA8UZFb7R60v
305Please respect copyright.PENANAjAu6rXg1Fw
我覺得這應該是九五加滿的屁名字,九五個屁。305Please respect copyright.PENANADZqc4jkZFH
305Please respect copyright.PENANAtRZ4GK76fA
再說說當我爸第二天再帶我去找那個算命師時,那個算命師竟然被警察抄掉了。305Please respect copyright.PENANAZrBPz7RiZg
305Please respect copyright.PENANASmbvieMiFv
媽的,在我面前被抄掉耶。305Please respect copyright.PENANAoczyHabEHQ
305Please respect copyright.PENANAXJC0y0OlXU
我想這件事絕對對我造成很大的創傷,不然我也不會把一歲發生的事記到現在了。305Please respect copyright.PENANAyh57ke2GSE
305Please respect copyright.PENANAfIHkdEcrj4
更別說每次的自我介紹了,那簡直是地獄。305Please respect copyright.PENANAoDhzliME9w
305Please respect copyright.PENANA24JpFkEDUO
「大家好,我叫……黑板上的就是我的名字。」我總是低著頭,不想看到班上同學討論我名字的嘴臉,那會讓我不小心上社會新聞頭版。305Please respect copyright.PENANAiYKo3WgyXO
305Please respect copyright.PENANARObeFSXsPL
小學一年級,同學看不懂我的名字,還有種「你好屌喔」的感覺。305Please respect copyright.PENANAFsWWIdjMJO
305Please respect copyright.PENANAaOmDu4btL8
到了小學六年級,那真的很恐怖。305Please respect copyright.PENANAbcFsTWFscd
305Please respect copyright.PENANAp3bkI5gnYf
「喂,那叫莊什麼但?」一個看起來長大會拿刀跟別人問好的同學,轉頭問一個年紀輕輕就戴了看起來和戴起來度數都超深的眼鏡的同學。305Please respect copyright.PENANAqfEpDhTGEn
305Please respect copyright.PENANAJpxJotPxgW
「坌,念起來就跟笨蛋的笨一樣。」戴眼鏡的同學想都沒想就講出來。305Please respect copyright.PENANASQRhpnLX9g
305Please respect copyright.PENANA22ggvagLhY
全班開始爆笑,我只能站在台上傻笑,一直笑,不然我會想掐死那個戴眼鏡的同學。305Please respect copyright.PENANAqNYTDEAECt
305Please respect copyright.PENANAIZoZWcnczr
請把這個畫面重播,這也是我國高中自我介紹時,所發生的慘劇。305Please respect copyright.PENANAJBUQpMmboq
305Please respect copyright.PENANAprHgs0IgCS
而我的綽號,也一路走來,始終如一的「笨蛋」加上一個會心一笑。305Please respect copyright.PENANAC7vJfjvNGL
305Please respect copyright.PENANAJV5DG3o4mR
大學聯誼時,我想我就像是在地獄被天使笑吧。305Please respect copyright.PENANAtgQtDCv46M
305Please respect copyright.PENANAd9KOIeTz9k
「你好,我是……」305Please respect copyright.PENANAOG5eL3UW9w
305Please respect copyright.PENANAdxvdaoQ0c1
「他的名字叫莊坌但喔!超厲害的對不對?坌就是大坌坑文化那個坌,但就是但是的那個但,所以我們都叫他笨蛋喔,超屌的對不對?」305Please respect copyright.PENANAA1ua4Ibf2R
305Please respect copyright.PENANA3sUNPRXfso
室友真是幫我介紹的相當好……個屁!305Please respect copyright.PENANABEv0Ja67T5
305Please respect copyright.PENANAmYx2O06zha
我就只能傻愣愣的笑,然後對面女生就摀著嘴笑。305Please respect copyright.PENANATlIJUHCD6g
305Please respect copyright.PENANAbhaVQwUN1Z
偏偏,我的長相比普通還普通,也沒有有錢的老爸,更沒有找男人屁眼的癖好,所以我一直沒有女朋友。305Please respect copyright.PENANAWPZkhTN7qt
305Please respect copyright.PENANAjLBNomxJ6o
畢竟,誰也不想叫「笨蛋的女朋友」吧?305Please respect copyright.PENANAyfsixJPANf
305Please respect copyright.PENANAkQl2NB5ngh
再說說我的人生吧,這名字絕對是個詛咒!305Please respect copyright.PENANAmBhHZ7q1l5
305Please respect copyright.PENANAhvao5GUG0p
從小體適能1600跑走就是我的惡夢,更別說在那段期間我身體的抵抗力還會自動升級一個level!305Please respect copyright.PENANArmXgOoevcP
305Please respect copyright.PENANAXkc37F3CW6
此時你一定會想,抵抗力提升有啥不好?305Please respect copyright.PENANAKMAWoiVOin
305Please respect copyright.PENANACDxumWyCqO
不好啊非常的不好啊!305Please respect copyright.PENANA5J1qirSgjh
305Please respect copyright.PENANA3KqGrafZGd
感冒簡直跟我是好碰友,我家擺的藥也簡直可以開一間藥局了。305Please respect copyright.PENANAUsM1rKfIHB
305Please respect copyright.PENANAUsLmPfp5xq
而體育老師的規定,只要身體不舒服就可以不用參加,前提是,他會陪著你去保健室。305Please respect copyright.PENANAVUenJrXAAW
305Please respect copyright.PENANAm3BSZb6stb
但是,就算測體適能前一天,我的鼻子還在被鼻涕強姦,只要一覺醒來,我就能夠用鼻子呼吸,然後痰也會自動消失,肚子痛什麼的也一併痊癒!305Please respect copyright.PENANAYFzZkFr1Nr
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然後我當然只能哀怨的等著老師點到我的名字,接著緩緩的跑完1600……或是走完。305Please respect copyright.PENANAzF7TeXAFYS
305Please respect copyright.PENANAMVQ0Zn0i91
出了社會,總是得找份工作。305Please respect copyright.PENANA7pWRC8aXT2
305Please respect copyright.PENANAXEAEmZ0Kno
我自己買了台50CC通勤。305Please respect copyright.PENANAfCbzNbyFB6
305Please respect copyright.PENANATrTnfv6i5i
但我想它跟我一樣,體弱多病。305Please respect copyright.PENANACbVhge4FdK
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常常停個紅燈後,它就不想動了,所以我得一個月去車行一次,不然我就只能走路去上班。305Please respect copyright.PENANAwu4DRwewRt
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而且我想,它是台只要載別人就會很威猛的50CC。305Please respect copyright.PENANAz4I8Mz5WdN
305Please respect copyright.PENANAW3Wg9wyuZy
「坌但我今天坐公車來,等等載我回家喔。」305Please respect copyright.PENANAFrXuxfLIPN
305Please respect copyright.PENANA0F9GnYMPHR
「喔,不過我的50CC很爛,有可能一半就掛了喔。」305Please respect copyright.PENANA5IfkonqbP0
305Please respect copyright.PENANAzjpKOMR9gy
「哎呀,沒差啦,真的掛了再說。」305Please respect copyright.PENANAH27bz1RE18
305Please respect copyright.PENANA5PX0Pjtxms
然後,我很順利的將同事載回去,而我家的50CC在路上連熄火都沒有。305Please respect copyright.PENANAIT71vpg9cY
305Please respect copyright.PENANA5NRLCD7kPU
「沒很爛啊,聽它引擎的聲音感覺很猛咧。」同事在他家門前這樣說。305Please respect copyright.PENANAd1LlBo7a6O
305Please respect copyright.PENANA58SqzPfk1H
我發動50CC,然後同事關門。305Please respect copyright.PENANAizPpRKwLdt
305Please respect copyright.PENANAtWswrauEpE
它熄火,我傻眼。305Please respect copyright.PENANAeLjGov5OJr
305Please respect copyright.PENANAt4tlL1egqT
好險我跟我同事回家的路是同一條,所以我一邊緩緩的牽著它回家,一邊罵著它這台竟然給主人熄火的50CC。305Please respect copyright.PENANAVN3YxnW9vo
305Please respect copyright.PENANAEeK5kw2dFU
當然,出了社會還是沒有女朋友。305Please respect copyright.PENANA9r94WPe0v5
305Please respect copyright.PENANAfo5WBSamBR
畢竟誰也不想當「笨蛋的女朋友」乃至於「笨蛋的老婆」吧。305Please respect copyright.PENANAV1waAZTzws
305Please respect copyright.PENANAWrbXWz8A0v
但叫坌但又不是我的錯!305Please respect copyright.PENANAmIULGfvSD6
305Please respect copyright.PENANA1ca7Vp4NtF
我無聊環顧著新租來的房子──前一棟因為地震垮了,隔壁的房子頂多家具壞掉,偏偏就我的整棟垮掉──看到了我目前用不到,以後可能也用不到的雙人沙發。305Please respect copyright.PENANAbii2CcClP6
305Please respect copyright.PENANA72Cw7C6m6U
我打開筆電,百無聊賴的看著日本的動畫,也許我還是希望能夠像裡面的主角一樣,開個後宮吧?305Please respect copyright.PENANAjZgsrQyoy3
305Please respect copyright.PENANAzdqoogsEs8
不過那就叫「笨蛋的後宮」了,想到這裡,我竟然不自禁的笑了出來,笑到眼淚都飆了出來。305Please respect copyright.PENANAVHyULjKftw
305Please respect copyright.PENANA2fQpYshH20
混帳,一個人的人生哪是名字能夠決定的啊!305Please respect copyright.PENANAlJQQhVE7ce
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笨蛋與殺手
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笨蛋與殺手
Author:
喂
ISSUE #1
1.主角登場
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