你好，我是莊坌但。448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLd4WwK1d0k
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHW9LoO2UwR
等等，你現在一定「噗嗤」的笑了出來，然後想著這是什麼白痴名字啊？448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGzlxTRVjlU
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx9lqIvEjHl
對，我也覺得這名字很白痴，尤其這還是我爸整整一年叫我兒子，終於在我一歲整時，去找個算命師特別算出來的名字，據說是九五之尊的好名字。448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ34TL07BoOc
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgNigH50dR6
我覺得這應該是九五加滿的屁名字，九五個屁。448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0QKuXycJmX
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9JBDo91qPj
再說說當我爸第二天再帶我去找那個算命師時，那個算命師竟然被警察抄掉了。448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvdkQ7KeGep
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuOaNbCIuvp
媽的，在我面前被抄掉耶。448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFdO9D0YLox
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYJhXnmRRb7
我想這件事絕對對我造成很大的創傷，不然我也不會把一歲發生的事記到現在了。448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCCornZkp1y
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE79E18UwsZ
更別說每次的自我介紹了，那簡直是地獄。448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiXONQeA6Ax
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUSfGjpWORe
「大家好，我叫……黑板上的就是我的名字。」我總是低著頭，不想看到班上同學討論我名字的嘴臉，那會讓我不小心上社會新聞頭版。448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkISQklzDJp
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ33MCuoUbWE
小學一年級，同學看不懂我的名字，還有種「你好屌喔」的感覺。448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlnHVnlir9f
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF2VJIg4olG
到了小學六年級，那真的很恐怖。448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgvDMrDobUE
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkslsI7Vyze
「喂，那叫莊什麼但？」一個看起來長大會拿刀跟別人問好的同學，轉頭問一個年紀輕輕就戴了看起來和戴起來度數都超深的眼鏡的同學。448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkhnLSz5sG8
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw8D1sP6ilD
「坌，念起來就跟笨蛋的笨一樣。」戴眼鏡的同學想都沒想就講出來。448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7YT5njlW0h
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡljbDwKMgoK
全班開始爆笑，我只能站在台上傻笑，一直笑，不然我會想掐死那個戴眼鏡的同學。448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmE4xcDxHOz
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3lcUL7sglq
請把這個畫面重播，這也是我國高中自我介紹時，所發生的慘劇。448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRJrmjBRgfk
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMDq8etzPue
而我的綽號，也一路走來，始終如一的「笨蛋」加上一個會心一笑。448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfBKPfgS5Jv
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡubovQbo0RM
大學聯誼時，我想我就像是在地獄被天使笑吧。448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvTjblY65NJ
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhIu9u8paJf
「你好，我是……」448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXxxwoUyHyD
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡziAxGDavqG
「他的名字叫莊坌但喔！超厲害的對不對？坌就是大坌坑文化那個坌，但就是但是的那個但，所以我們都叫他笨蛋喔，超屌的對不對？」448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTudcPftlOn
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwAIh11z1yG
室友真是幫我介紹的相當好……個屁！448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLQbxbdfKXQ
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5wPR0jpQsE
我就只能傻愣愣的笑，然後對面女生就摀著嘴笑。448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRXkNb1X9Dy
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjac6cNOtLi
偏偏，我的長相比普通還普通，也沒有有錢的老爸，更沒有找男人屁眼的癖好，所以我一直沒有女朋友。448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡep5ZMuhDbw
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6a4Fkbdd18
畢竟，誰也不想叫「笨蛋的女朋友」吧？448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ21eaBB4BuD
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOdEsZ9bEUy
再說說我的人生吧，這名字絕對是個詛咒！448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsbW1fig3Q4
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU4cGcH3Po3
從小體適能1600跑走就是我的惡夢，更別說在那段期間我身體的抵抗力還會自動升級一個level！448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuvWNK5O1pP
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNwNF1BpLaQ
此時你一定會想，抵抗力提升有啥不好？448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuiI52Cl1hJ
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNEyc0JubUW
不好啊非常的不好啊！448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ03guLuYR3k
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtIrsM3AMep
感冒簡直跟我是好碰友，我家擺的藥也簡直可以開一間藥局了。448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVW5vEYdHRp
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ6Bae846yC
而體育老師的規定，只要身體不舒服就可以不用參加，前提是，他會陪著你去保健室。448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY9IIULVqNx
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY9y9a86Tbb
但是，就算測體適能前一天，我的鼻子還在被鼻涕強姦，只要一覺醒來，我就能夠用鼻子呼吸，然後痰也會自動消失，肚子痛什麼的也一併痊癒！448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZohONtdgfI
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxHKXOg0wCp
然後我當然只能哀怨的等著老師點到我的名字，接著緩緩的跑完1600……或是走完。448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM0aVgs7JXH
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRNzI0Mjzcb
出了社會，總是得找份工作。448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe92Lnw4TwV
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEtxEinMWDg
我自己買了台50CC通勤。448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkBtgnUJ4TH
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6nVVqZQLy4
但我想它跟我一樣，體弱多病。448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeXq9vhHUQE
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6O25j6nBXQ
常常停個紅燈後，它就不想動了，所以我得一個月去車行一次，不然我就只能走路去上班。448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOXuIRCtZKO
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡociQ5cZlrz
而且我想，它是台只要載別人就會很威猛的50CC。448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDfm37SxG5N
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtOcrulmIrz
「坌但我今天坐公車來，等等載我回家喔。」448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLsWbUOnLwE
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWKRsAomr0B
「喔，不過我的50CC很爛，有可能一半就掛了喔。」448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz7YVoSuN8r
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlZATvWrdQb
「哎呀，沒差啦，真的掛了再說。」448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOsenQn1sD7
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0lUN3JdJaK
然後，我很順利的將同事載回去，而我家的50CC在路上連熄火都沒有。448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVclIoEpNLD
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk7eq9Kb3MX
「沒很爛啊，聽它引擎的聲音感覺很猛咧。」同事在他家門前這樣說。448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbkB5WJiemc
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdcBiP147O4
我發動50CC，然後同事關門。448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1VgJp2OKb2
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY6ox9m2gSh
它熄火，我傻眼。448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzk2RpeRjEM
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVz8NXd88Lf
好險我跟我同事回家的路是同一條，所以我一邊緩緩的牽著它回家，一邊罵著它這台竟然給主人熄火的50CC。448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡglXsdfFtsf
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGcgpAml2YM
當然，出了社會還是沒有女朋友。448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwcuWqAKlpS
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlwnd8iPGbE
畢竟誰也不想當「笨蛋的女朋友」乃至於「笨蛋的老婆」吧。448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmAZgr3ObuH
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp1aoFjOxSR
但叫坌但又不是我的錯！448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHJvZzVkJQ5
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡToNQAyX1Gp
我無聊環顧著新租來的房子──前一棟因為地震垮了，隔壁的房子頂多家具壞掉，偏偏就我的整棟垮掉──看到了我目前用不到，以後可能也用不到的雙人沙發。448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJI0AVYjzpI
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡleXR0NWRsF
我打開筆電，百無聊賴的看著日本的動畫，也許我還是希望能夠像裡面的主角一樣，開個後宮吧？448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhlAHlGrxFN
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmuKRXtYBgy
不過那就叫「笨蛋的後宮」了，想到這裡，我竟然不自禁的笑了出來，笑到眼淚都飆了出來。448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtrfSp9VkWV
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOnDdTILOSV
混帳，一個人的人生哪是名字能夠決定的啊！448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNBQApJtenU
笨蛋與殺手
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