你好，我是莊坌但。504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIqGNcPdRQt
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2YvSycWPhP
等等，你現在一定「噗嗤」的笑了出來，然後想著這是什麼白痴名字啊？504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU2DxiMVtlJ
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp7XgTEtvZw
對，我也覺得這名字很白痴，尤其這還是我爸整整一年叫我兒子，終於在我一歲整時，去找個算命師特別算出來的名字，據說是九五之尊的好名字。504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ8IkdmsKtb
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCEklfX4ffb
我覺得這應該是九五加滿的屁名字，九五個屁。504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCS9fceUfMf
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYSV0bAKb5n
再說說當我爸第二天再帶我去找那個算命師時，那個算命師竟然被警察抄掉了。504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuMKukZ5Bfh
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyBgiH6DgxM
媽的，在我面前被抄掉耶。504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiB3anz9jY2
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdzWSVqNZpN
我想這件事絕對對我造成很大的創傷，不然我也不會把一歲發生的事記到現在了。504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMI3eZBttFQ
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBFan69Nl3q
更別說每次的自我介紹了，那簡直是地獄。504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡouLhlxFKaZ
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ3LuFe0hd3
「大家好，我叫……黑板上的就是我的名字。」我總是低著頭，不想看到班上同學討論我名字的嘴臉，那會讓我不小心上社會新聞頭版。504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvsbvrt1VP3
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQQ8OAv2W3n
小學一年級，同學看不懂我的名字，還有種「你好屌喔」的感覺。504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkH9YPwlrVr
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc3FKqNzFXO
到了小學六年級，那真的很恐怖。504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg0izM3y9KQ
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw1Q9Tq5gkp
「喂，那叫莊什麼但？」一個看起來長大會拿刀跟別人問好的同學，轉頭問一個年紀輕輕就戴了看起來和戴起來度數都超深的眼鏡的同學。504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU22dEamhpU
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡphwu7BMKN9
「坌，念起來就跟笨蛋的笨一樣。」戴眼鏡的同學想都沒想就講出來。504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpAV0keolSy
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrMhizmnlCm
全班開始爆笑，我只能站在台上傻笑，一直笑，不然我會想掐死那個戴眼鏡的同學。504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbbx968y7KQ
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8slqUkggTy
請把這個畫面重播，這也是我國高中自我介紹時，所發生的慘劇。504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjIpnoFonnN
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAVZ1Qo8Pd5
而我的綽號，也一路走來，始終如一的「笨蛋」加上一個會心一笑。504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsd7XSmYEWQ
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ989EZQILcy
大學聯誼時，我想我就像是在地獄被天使笑吧。504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ90JkgI7Tt
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf4flKxN8KG
「你好，我是……」504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBpCFNgPCJF
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP3COGUiAFn
「他的名字叫莊坌但喔！超厲害的對不對？坌就是大坌坑文化那個坌，但就是但是的那個但，所以我們都叫他笨蛋喔，超屌的對不對？」504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjDBsmKnBT7
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeuJJ5yYen9
室友真是幫我介紹的相當好……個屁！504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkdX8tHrpR6
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdjzsuGKFjv
我就只能傻愣愣的笑，然後對面女生就摀著嘴笑。504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYA1AgQoE7b
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4XsvJjvNSz
偏偏，我的長相比普通還普通，也沒有有錢的老爸，更沒有找男人屁眼的癖好，所以我一直沒有女朋友。504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjOBVUIpJt4
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFsBm8Bcv5v
畢竟，誰也不想叫「笨蛋的女朋友」吧？504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡccukjd83bH
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH49xlKQYqE
再說說我的人生吧，這名字絕對是個詛咒！504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbOMWQLNSv4
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoWBrOP1RdD
從小體適能1600跑走就是我的惡夢，更別說在那段期間我身體的抵抗力還會自動升級一個level！504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW49roEdIez
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfBexN6jZvF
此時你一定會想，抵抗力提升有啥不好？504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBAwIvpYy1G
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh4m3cvt467
不好啊非常的不好啊！504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfaV07B3tdW
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9IOcXjjVSQ
感冒簡直跟我是好碰友，我家擺的藥也簡直可以開一間藥局了。504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFGCx2EjS3z
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Zpe4V4PzD
而體育老師的規定，只要身體不舒服就可以不用參加，前提是，他會陪著你去保健室。504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJWncGWraai
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv8gmSzYsQi
但是，就算測體適能前一天，我的鼻子還在被鼻涕強姦，只要一覺醒來，我就能夠用鼻子呼吸，然後痰也會自動消失，肚子痛什麼的也一併痊癒！504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhcxCgUoqfn
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDodEHtK6bw
然後我當然只能哀怨的等著老師點到我的名字，接著緩緩的跑完1600……或是走完。504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ0uTRv2Nbd
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR0LEVIeZL3
出了社會，總是得找份工作。504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZudETtF502
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTgQxrpzLEK
我自己買了台50CC通勤。504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfYrnmLVS0v
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEvtDcblmrj
但我想它跟我一樣，體弱多病。504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ32YA0LzhA
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgbDXcol1jH
常常停個紅燈後，它就不想動了，所以我得一個月去車行一次，不然我就只能走路去上班。504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZlDnGenfmB
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjnY2ATLigf
而且我想，它是台只要載別人就會很威猛的50CC。504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAqxSTHsYAQ
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKQ90ZqSMkI
「坌但我今天坐公車來，等等載我回家喔。」504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyORpu45Utr
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkVhJWqVcSl
「喔，不過我的50CC很爛，有可能一半就掛了喔。」504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFdhPZ8n4kP
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7EGjvwVWXL
「哎呀，沒差啦，真的掛了再說。」504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJdYryamSPk
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZC0RA7siib
然後，我很順利的將同事載回去，而我家的50CC在路上連熄火都沒有。504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNsDSfSNCYc
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4cPQYbGu9i
「沒很爛啊，聽它引擎的聲音感覺很猛咧。」同事在他家門前這樣說。504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ80qby8y69x
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSCl0cQJmdu
我發動50CC，然後同事關門。504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡikRiUx1ryW
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQLAQHtF7el
它熄火，我傻眼。504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL9Yl13kwvG
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAhvqezQyrx
好險我跟我同事回家的路是同一條，所以我一邊緩緩的牽著它回家，一邊罵著它這台竟然給主人熄火的50CC。504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp7Cuw9q2be
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡevaeoci2bc
當然，出了社會還是沒有女朋友。504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuotPlf7etu
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBtj1WsiHBI
畢竟誰也不想當「笨蛋的女朋友」乃至於「笨蛋的老婆」吧。504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVUc3Vu0Rg6
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGcOZj6qNdo
但叫坌但又不是我的錯！504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHKhUxhxfCY
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTW4dXObAvu
我無聊環顧著新租來的房子──前一棟因為地震垮了，隔壁的房子頂多家具壞掉，偏偏就我的整棟垮掉──看到了我目前用不到，以後可能也用不到的雙人沙發。504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1HAulNSyKA
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡccixcYw68K
我打開筆電，百無聊賴的看著日本的動畫，也許我還是希望能夠像裡面的主角一樣，開個後宮吧？504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfAoLp5WlTT
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK4dWTJds7r
不過那就叫「笨蛋的後宮」了，想到這裡，我竟然不自禁的笑了出來，笑到眼淚都飆了出來。504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHIJ1GI1ang
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn1OpXg0Lsl
混帳，一個人的人生哪是名字能夠決定的啊！504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ47XOwoXRkA
笨蛋與殺手
作者:
喂
喂
篇 #1
1.主角登場
喜歡 0
閱讀 500
書籤 1
提出編輯建議
以 Facebook 帳號登入
或 註册/登入 以留言或加上書籤 按此加載下一章
×
寫下你喜歡這個故事的地方
然後按「加至主畫面」