你好,我是莊坌但。618Please respect copyright.PENANA51meyYkOV8
618Please respect copyright.PENANABlPEx4YUQ3
等等,你現在一定「噗嗤」的笑了出來,然後想著這是什麼白痴名字啊?618Please respect copyright.PENANAIboLugBjLj
618Please respect copyright.PENANAQIYWaJoKE9
對,我也覺得這名字很白痴,尤其這還是我爸整整一年叫我兒子,終於在我一歲整時,去找個算命師特別算出來的名字,據說是九五之尊的好名字。618Please respect copyright.PENANAiiItlEAXps
618Please respect copyright.PENANA1OJGbQZVlx
我覺得這應該是九五加滿的屁名字,九五個屁。618Please respect copyright.PENANAo7rlZhXlBk
618Please respect copyright.PENANAtrzANbd87P
再說說當我爸第二天再帶我去找那個算命師時,那個算命師竟然被警察抄掉了。618Please respect copyright.PENANAdSvLZ4xo3Y
618Please respect copyright.PENANA0XowbhTJ04
媽的,在我面前被抄掉耶。618Please respect copyright.PENANAuQcloku9g1
618Please respect copyright.PENANA4kcREyV7Ng
我想這件事絕對對我造成很大的創傷,不然我也不會把一歲發生的事記到現在了。618Please respect copyright.PENANAvV7opHLJyt
618Please respect copyright.PENANAaiR7gzSziz
更別說每次的自我介紹了,那簡直是地獄。618Please respect copyright.PENANAm2ebCY1BZr
618Please respect copyright.PENANA9qnAh9I9d4
「大家好,我叫……黑板上的就是我的名字。」我總是低著頭,不想看到班上同學討論我名字的嘴臉,那會讓我不小心上社會新聞頭版。618Please respect copyright.PENANA1uuEwSA1tr
618Please respect copyright.PENANAl7W7UAi364
小學一年級,同學看不懂我的名字,還有種「你好屌喔」的感覺。618Please respect copyright.PENANAWHHQGpKWyP
618Please respect copyright.PENANAdBPO1xuTNU
到了小學六年級,那真的很恐怖。618Please respect copyright.PENANAQOreMi60Zf
618Please respect copyright.PENANAuceEIffSXV
「喂,那叫莊什麼但?」一個看起來長大會拿刀跟別人問好的同學,轉頭問一個年紀輕輕就戴了看起來和戴起來度數都超深的眼鏡的同學。618Please respect copyright.PENANAvUgJBTju7f
618Please respect copyright.PENANATnQogiq70x
「坌,念起來就跟笨蛋的笨一樣。」戴眼鏡的同學想都沒想就講出來。618Please respect copyright.PENANADBwhKvZosW
618Please respect copyright.PENANA0H0WuzlfsB
全班開始爆笑,我只能站在台上傻笑,一直笑,不然我會想掐死那個戴眼鏡的同學。618Please respect copyright.PENANAaBn06M8mpa
618Please respect copyright.PENANAz7JJpzX6we
請把這個畫面重播,這也是我國高中自我介紹時,所發生的慘劇。618Please respect copyright.PENANAbHlJ1pzFJ3
618Please respect copyright.PENANADAahATAFMQ
而我的綽號,也一路走來,始終如一的「笨蛋」加上一個會心一笑。618Please respect copyright.PENANAUmrbmJ2gH0
618Please respect copyright.PENANAaduvZZ0Od4
大學聯誼時,我想我就像是在地獄被天使笑吧。618Please respect copyright.PENANAw9qAIZFZy1
618Please respect copyright.PENANA5FmuMF8Ngh
「你好,我是……」618Please respect copyright.PENANATUzI8ukaN8
618Please respect copyright.PENANAO70O2Oyrr8
「他的名字叫莊坌但喔!超厲害的對不對?坌就是大坌坑文化那個坌,但就是但是的那個但,所以我們都叫他笨蛋喔,超屌的對不對?」618Please respect copyright.PENANAkcWGKvrFkv
618Please respect copyright.PENANAjivz553jiJ
室友真是幫我介紹的相當好……個屁!618Please respect copyright.PENANAT8nPiJOgGd
618Please respect copyright.PENANAoY3K3PSq8i
我就只能傻愣愣的笑,然後對面女生就摀著嘴笑。618Please respect copyright.PENANArEwrloBRu0
618Please respect copyright.PENANAkFR1Ns9TOI
偏偏,我的長相比普通還普通,也沒有有錢的老爸,更沒有找男人屁眼的癖好,所以我一直沒有女朋友。618Please respect copyright.PENANApKrPQtOcYU
618Please respect copyright.PENANA1tKqlkcQih
畢竟,誰也不想叫「笨蛋的女朋友」吧?618Please respect copyright.PENANAPDXPhdsVhl
618Please respect copyright.PENANA9AL4nNnhUA
再說說我的人生吧,這名字絕對是個詛咒!618Please respect copyright.PENANA1Lqmj7TVPl
618Please respect copyright.PENANA9TreewUPks
從小體適能1600跑走就是我的惡夢,更別說在那段期間我身體的抵抗力還會自動升級一個level!618Please respect copyright.PENANAfbDAaV7lNd
618Please respect copyright.PENANAkFkq8OMDGw
此時你一定會想,抵抗力提升有啥不好?618Please respect copyright.PENANAZjNBMMWGPO
618Please respect copyright.PENANArIKJXFl4AS
不好啊非常的不好啊!618Please respect copyright.PENANARarVcPR2yX
618Please respect copyright.PENANAkw33Politz
感冒簡直跟我是好碰友,我家擺的藥也簡直可以開一間藥局了。618Please respect copyright.PENANAUaEQ4z4P5C
618Please respect copyright.PENANAXD66i1GTJE
而體育老師的規定,只要身體不舒服就可以不用參加,前提是,他會陪著你去保健室。618Please respect copyright.PENANAu5E9VoQ4ry
618Please respect copyright.PENANALTTursJvBG
但是,就算測體適能前一天,我的鼻子還在被鼻涕強姦,只要一覺醒來,我就能夠用鼻子呼吸,然後痰也會自動消失,肚子痛什麼的也一併痊癒!618Please respect copyright.PENANAJumJCF6vQH
618Please respect copyright.PENANAwC2YJ3rupi
然後我當然只能哀怨的等著老師點到我的名字,接著緩緩的跑完1600……或是走完。618Please respect copyright.PENANAnxuX82D91F
618Please respect copyright.PENANAgwv4WD7iSp
出了社會,總是得找份工作。618Please respect copyright.PENANA3dfUomVtFH
618Please respect copyright.PENANAjNqMCV8Obq
我自己買了台50CC通勤。618Please respect copyright.PENANAmIOioZGdU6
618Please respect copyright.PENANAFvADiPgaU1
但我想它跟我一樣,體弱多病。618Please respect copyright.PENANAMu6d7yETOK
618Please respect copyright.PENANAZxcvaHPnNN
常常停個紅燈後,它就不想動了,所以我得一個月去車行一次,不然我就只能走路去上班。618Please respect copyright.PENANAvIlBIDAH57
618Please respect copyright.PENANA3oiQCl4Sv7
而且我想,它是台只要載別人就會很威猛的50CC。618Please respect copyright.PENANAa7EAak5XKZ
618Please respect copyright.PENANAtZFHKkcN4C
「坌但我今天坐公車來,等等載我回家喔。」618Please respect copyright.PENANATihsgBPuiI
618Please respect copyright.PENANAfE5YfVn3ZQ
「喔,不過我的50CC很爛,有可能一半就掛了喔。」618Please respect copyright.PENANAalYbQXQLVD
618Please respect copyright.PENANArP3e8WR7wt
「哎呀,沒差啦,真的掛了再說。」618Please respect copyright.PENANAeqRnPFl8E8
618Please respect copyright.PENANAM18hkQkwWn
然後,我很順利的將同事載回去,而我家的50CC在路上連熄火都沒有。618Please respect copyright.PENANAUrJeCw9Whk
618Please respect copyright.PENANAsc86616WEK
「沒很爛啊,聽它引擎的聲音感覺很猛咧。」同事在他家門前這樣說。618Please respect copyright.PENANAs5wD7V87gI
618Please respect copyright.PENANA8hMPl78nPb
我發動50CC,然後同事關門。618Please respect copyright.PENANAwUsB33jAx1
618Please respect copyright.PENANADr923GLt50
它熄火,我傻眼。618Please respect copyright.PENANAiL87SNq3VA
618Please respect copyright.PENANAhyBgVa1J79
好險我跟我同事回家的路是同一條,所以我一邊緩緩的牽著它回家,一邊罵著它這台竟然給主人熄火的50CC。618Please respect copyright.PENANAno2HSWiX5U
618Please respect copyright.PENANAvuTvs9mI2T
當然,出了社會還是沒有女朋友。618Please respect copyright.PENANAVqXMzA7yer
618Please respect copyright.PENANAgunJUN2S5p
畢竟誰也不想當「笨蛋的女朋友」乃至於「笨蛋的老婆」吧。618Please respect copyright.PENANArsFnTHO5JT
618Please respect copyright.PENANAuNy5lqARP8
但叫坌但又不是我的錯!618Please respect copyright.PENANAbCsjxWtmPL
618Please respect copyright.PENANAO2FzCklIFf
我無聊環顧著新租來的房子──前一棟因為地震垮了,隔壁的房子頂多家具壞掉,偏偏就我的整棟垮掉──看到了我目前用不到,以後可能也用不到的雙人沙發。618Please respect copyright.PENANAMB1pVOqwYV
618Please respect copyright.PENANASUxkqqVp8H
我打開筆電,百無聊賴的看著日本的動畫,也許我還是希望能夠像裡面的主角一樣,開個後宮吧?618Please respect copyright.PENANAY6agSpMePx
618Please respect copyright.PENANASexunEq3Mx
不過那就叫「笨蛋的後宮」了,想到這裡,我竟然不自禁的笑了出來,笑到眼淚都飆了出來。618Please respect copyright.PENANAuPXwtEVUig
618Please respect copyright.PENANAMdhPhCCOF1
混帳,一個人的人生哪是名字能夠決定的啊!618Please respect copyright.PENANAqMiIESkcDJ
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笨蛋與殺手
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笨蛋與殺手
Author:
喂
ISSUE #1
1.主角登場
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