你好,我是莊坌但。462Please respect copyright.PENANA4FMr6zXpbZ
462Please respect copyright.PENANAWfZEY23tUm
等等,你現在一定「噗嗤」的笑了出來,然後想著這是什麼白痴名字啊?462Please respect copyright.PENANAzU1FOLgu2T
462Please respect copyright.PENANAsqjmqKtMnd
對,我也覺得這名字很白痴,尤其這還是我爸整整一年叫我兒子,終於在我一歲整時,去找個算命師特別算出來的名字,據說是九五之尊的好名字。462Please respect copyright.PENANAH5kLV7qTDy
462Please respect copyright.PENANAB5Qm2d79g1
我覺得這應該是九五加滿的屁名字,九五個屁。462Please respect copyright.PENANAonDX8VyEee
462Please respect copyright.PENANA9iiqT5pzFo
再說說當我爸第二天再帶我去找那個算命師時,那個算命師竟然被警察抄掉了。462Please respect copyright.PENANAt2D9B0l0S9
462Please respect copyright.PENANAamyb6PEUko
媽的,在我面前被抄掉耶。462Please respect copyright.PENANAvbogSxT0Z1
462Please respect copyright.PENANAY9YWrfbiRE
我想這件事絕對對我造成很大的創傷,不然我也不會把一歲發生的事記到現在了。462Please respect copyright.PENANAX3RKjGr93r
462Please respect copyright.PENANAxbiiIiKLmZ
更別說每次的自我介紹了,那簡直是地獄。462Please respect copyright.PENANASc24NtR2kL
462Please respect copyright.PENANAB8YmXpANAM
「大家好,我叫……黑板上的就是我的名字。」我總是低著頭,不想看到班上同學討論我名字的嘴臉,那會讓我不小心上社會新聞頭版。462Please respect copyright.PENANA1ZkTehm7Ff
462Please respect copyright.PENANApZeIpLD9hc
小學一年級,同學看不懂我的名字,還有種「你好屌喔」的感覺。462Please respect copyright.PENANABwdxurpZop
462Please respect copyright.PENANACEDq3hAOP7
到了小學六年級,那真的很恐怖。462Please respect copyright.PENANAqY7m40nHYu
462Please respect copyright.PENANAtLB2jr4mDx
「喂,那叫莊什麼但?」一個看起來長大會拿刀跟別人問好的同學,轉頭問一個年紀輕輕就戴了看起來和戴起來度數都超深的眼鏡的同學。462Please respect copyright.PENANAgVfYHSeyem
462Please respect copyright.PENANA767XLNu8ii
「坌,念起來就跟笨蛋的笨一樣。」戴眼鏡的同學想都沒想就講出來。462Please respect copyright.PENANABP5ROTYI72
462Please respect copyright.PENANAIz1Hwj1Q1S
全班開始爆笑,我只能站在台上傻笑,一直笑,不然我會想掐死那個戴眼鏡的同學。462Please respect copyright.PENANADUO7yMyMUh
462Please respect copyright.PENANAkgOJZjqAoh
請把這個畫面重播,這也是我國高中自我介紹時,所發生的慘劇。462Please respect copyright.PENANAYFS2CrqiNC
462Please respect copyright.PENANAoZOsXiQAHi
而我的綽號,也一路走來,始終如一的「笨蛋」加上一個會心一笑。462Please respect copyright.PENANAQpfjsHayTy
462Please respect copyright.PENANAtqYgcTd9fk
大學聯誼時,我想我就像是在地獄被天使笑吧。462Please respect copyright.PENANAzkDU1vDtst
462Please respect copyright.PENANA8Osf7ZQyw5
「你好,我是……」462Please respect copyright.PENANAWBn24iTr5T
462Please respect copyright.PENANAzftDUcm3gr
「他的名字叫莊坌但喔!超厲害的對不對?坌就是大坌坑文化那個坌,但就是但是的那個但,所以我們都叫他笨蛋喔,超屌的對不對?」462Please respect copyright.PENANAamEtG2Scs6
462Please respect copyright.PENANAhC5TnynOb5
室友真是幫我介紹的相當好……個屁!462Please respect copyright.PENANAqpxESFrPe6
462Please respect copyright.PENANAZXQ5iP6qjb
我就只能傻愣愣的笑,然後對面女生就摀著嘴笑。462Please respect copyright.PENANAqwoD85PS1Y
462Please respect copyright.PENANA6SqeHxggTI
偏偏,我的長相比普通還普通,也沒有有錢的老爸,更沒有找男人屁眼的癖好,所以我一直沒有女朋友。462Please respect copyright.PENANAP0bTseWcxa
462Please respect copyright.PENANAQH1SVH9CBX
畢竟,誰也不想叫「笨蛋的女朋友」吧?462Please respect copyright.PENANAmwvPCoaQvz
462Please respect copyright.PENANA1GiAYrTcZk
再說說我的人生吧,這名字絕對是個詛咒!462Please respect copyright.PENANAwtRlZGFrWG
462Please respect copyright.PENANA8d5pe8Uu87
從小體適能1600跑走就是我的惡夢,更別說在那段期間我身體的抵抗力還會自動升級一個level!462Please respect copyright.PENANAQHNTNNQ8r5
462Please respect copyright.PENANAJgpXZrZfLG
此時你一定會想,抵抗力提升有啥不好?462Please respect copyright.PENANAZEeSBPGkYr
462Please respect copyright.PENANA7BwIcNcJBT
不好啊非常的不好啊!462Please respect copyright.PENANAnqn1L7RiFX
462Please respect copyright.PENANAQHnOQMNUUX
感冒簡直跟我是好碰友,我家擺的藥也簡直可以開一間藥局了。462Please respect copyright.PENANANli4vhSGDo
462Please respect copyright.PENANA93X3He1XU9
而體育老師的規定,只要身體不舒服就可以不用參加,前提是,他會陪著你去保健室。462Please respect copyright.PENANAkSlNTsgn4e
462Please respect copyright.PENANAQHJZmKMSAH
但是,就算測體適能前一天,我的鼻子還在被鼻涕強姦,只要一覺醒來,我就能夠用鼻子呼吸,然後痰也會自動消失,肚子痛什麼的也一併痊癒!462Please respect copyright.PENANAZ6CsuvRWgt
462Please respect copyright.PENANAbwIMVUWFBn
然後我當然只能哀怨的等著老師點到我的名字,接著緩緩的跑完1600……或是走完。462Please respect copyright.PENANACGt03rGrMO
462Please respect copyright.PENANAYp4aE8yyyO
出了社會,總是得找份工作。462Please respect copyright.PENANAOoTibgsQ8H
462Please respect copyright.PENANArHwfZOe0Av
我自己買了台50CC通勤。462Please respect copyright.PENANAVFrBwZhRx4
462Please respect copyright.PENANA6k4kIYbP1B
但我想它跟我一樣,體弱多病。462Please respect copyright.PENANAHyf5zRhHLx
462Please respect copyright.PENANAwpighanPcT
常常停個紅燈後,它就不想動了,所以我得一個月去車行一次,不然我就只能走路去上班。462Please respect copyright.PENANArGd9IEPZf8
462Please respect copyright.PENANA5S0UwRx48o
而且我想,它是台只要載別人就會很威猛的50CC。462Please respect copyright.PENANAKtzDt9Z89g
462Please respect copyright.PENANAZmeDyO6eFB
「坌但我今天坐公車來,等等載我回家喔。」462Please respect copyright.PENANAxtbRBe3eRA
462Please respect copyright.PENANAoOcFrWvkhC
「喔,不過我的50CC很爛,有可能一半就掛了喔。」462Please respect copyright.PENANAaJN8SarZCF
462Please respect copyright.PENANAXJkoXZi07U
「哎呀,沒差啦,真的掛了再說。」462Please respect copyright.PENANAeeoTMfWhZy
462Please respect copyright.PENANApuGW6Otq14
然後,我很順利的將同事載回去,而我家的50CC在路上連熄火都沒有。462Please respect copyright.PENANACHKNbJgSrQ
462Please respect copyright.PENANAS7csxcJ5jJ
「沒很爛啊,聽它引擎的聲音感覺很猛咧。」同事在他家門前這樣說。462Please respect copyright.PENANAvvxEXvjR9F
462Please respect copyright.PENANAJn26aqZbUY
我發動50CC,然後同事關門。462Please respect copyright.PENANA5x6qN4Mchb
462Please respect copyright.PENANAmVBsJqHqtA
它熄火,我傻眼。462Please respect copyright.PENANAmIxbTLxE2v
462Please respect copyright.PENANAi5UxaeJxqa
好險我跟我同事回家的路是同一條,所以我一邊緩緩的牽著它回家,一邊罵著它這台竟然給主人熄火的50CC。462Please respect copyright.PENANAGpMCugkdhj
462Please respect copyright.PENANAIY4qqSiTAY
當然,出了社會還是沒有女朋友。462Please respect copyright.PENANADQXS7QdPxt
462Please respect copyright.PENANAaoLUwUb2AY
畢竟誰也不想當「笨蛋的女朋友」乃至於「笨蛋的老婆」吧。462Please respect copyright.PENANACsiK4sA80Y
462Please respect copyright.PENANAtyvhdvWjes
但叫坌但又不是我的錯!462Please respect copyright.PENANAJRr3RZQxzf
462Please respect copyright.PENANAJzo6EaYtAC
我無聊環顧著新租來的房子──前一棟因為地震垮了,隔壁的房子頂多家具壞掉,偏偏就我的整棟垮掉──看到了我目前用不到,以後可能也用不到的雙人沙發。462Please respect copyright.PENANAg00tbPqRCP
462Please respect copyright.PENANAFV0x6bgsI1
我打開筆電,百無聊賴的看著日本的動畫,也許我還是希望能夠像裡面的主角一樣,開個後宮吧?462Please respect copyright.PENANAzuz68cyBGr
462Please respect copyright.PENANAJDXvxTdnop
不過那就叫「笨蛋的後宮」了,想到這裡,我竟然不自禁的笑了出來,笑到眼淚都飆了出來。462Please respect copyright.PENANAITynU3juFm
462Please respect copyright.PENANAnq9LU9Ubw6
混帳,一個人的人生哪是名字能夠決定的啊!462Please respect copyright.PENANABEsOG0zitD
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笨蛋與殺手
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笨蛋與殺手
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