It was a VERY strong wind that day, and I absolutely swear to god that none of it was my fault. Seriously, guys. It was the WIND that knocked my umbrella into that dork's face. And his coffee fell too, rolling away. I explicitly articulated my most SINCEREST apologies and how I was just as much publicly humiliated as him.
"What is wrong with you-- I'm Gabe by the way--," he took my gloved hand to shake before returning to his nuclear meltdown. "--And what is wrong with you, coming out of nowhere, a ninja slash cat monkey assaulting my vulnerability, battering me to a pulp, leaving me struggling within in an inch of my life. I have asthma, you brute. Precious people like me die from wheezing. How dare you."
"I am MIRANDA," I shrug at Gabe. "Guess I am TOO MUCH of a woman for you."1416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZk8FryHaW1
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With the last word, I STRUT away. A minute later, it grew apparent he won't let that happen. He ran to my side, stammering and BLUBBERING like a fool.1416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKglfi15Esh
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"Now, just wait a gosh-darned second here!" Gabe raised a finger. I kept a straight face when inside I just wanted to LOL. "You still owe me coffee-- and for mangling my face-- who knows if I ever see you again."1416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ76Mrpv4GpY
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"I did not MANGLE your face! The wind did! Your face is not mangled, your face is perfectly FINE!" I huffed, realizing we stood outside the cafe. "I am being blackmailed and entrapped. I am not okay with it!"1416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgOijT9nCmw
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The clouds roared back, and rain shattered. I fought with the umbrella.1416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU8PickMogn
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"So it's a date!" Gabe shouted over the hysteria. 1416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoWEh9Xmw0c
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"NO. GOODBYE FOREVER." I stormed off into the storm, wrestling with the umbrella and the wind. It took until the stoplight when Gabe ran up at the moment the wind grew VERY strong again. I swear to god, it was NOT ME the first time and it was STILL not me the second time. SMACK.1416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkhHpMoJvvo
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The umbrella slapped Gabe ... again. I SHRIEKED in horror.1416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8piV3gYTc5
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"What is wrong with you-- ," Gabe said as the pedestrian sign lit up and chased me across the splashing street. "-- I think I'm bleeding! Am I bleeding? My poor mangled face. You may rob me of my coffee and my dignity but you can't get rid of me that easy, infernal murderess. A menace to society, I say! We are all in danger!"
"Then stay FAR away from me!" 1416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBcrhfy3z9T
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Gabe took my gloved hand, and at that moment our hair rose. White lightning struck -- shocking us both. We keeled over, tased and jolted in waves until it was over. We glanced at each other with fresh and cooked eyes. Smoke steamed from our bodies. Boots were knocked from our feet. We marveled that we were electrocuted and somehow miraculously survived. I nodded, "Okay... Coffee sounds good right now..."1416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjq2ElVRwI7
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"So it's a date, Miranda," Gabe said, pleased. "That is spectacular."1416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNy66ljUaFL
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"It is NOT a date," I insisted. "This is strictly normal and boring. People get hit by lightning all the time, Gabe."1416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRLJgI9cKdE
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"And you're buying!" He pointed an accusing finger.1416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYmozUDWML3
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"No, if anything it is YOU who are buying," I bickered. 1416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcA5Y1zvUDV
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"If I'm buying, ergo it's a date."1416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLovHE2oyWG
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"NOPE. WRONG. Regardless of someone buying, it is NOT--"1416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKWy8aTKMZd
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We got struck by white lightning twice and wound up in the hospital, in the same room, with a curtain drawn between us. We spent hours staring at the ceiling arguing whose fault it was and how awful the coffee were here.1416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZmiGsOBWYG
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Then his voice stopped. I looked at the curtain, hearing a droning flatline. I tore the curtain back. He was off the machine, leaning in for a kiss.1416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtVxlfKbZKE
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"Kiss me?" 1416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ByGfUOokH
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It was so OBVIOUS he was going to be my husband.1416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOqSzQlVsgu
So OBVIOUS he was going to be the father of my child.1416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFHLMABzE2X
Gabe. That sweet dork. How can I not love him? 1416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJEXMf7ZWQ4
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"No, you kiss me," I said. His eyes closed, as if to melt.
In our hospital gowns, we locked lips. And the rest?1416Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwDvhabIBlP
The rest was, as they say, a WEIRD love story.
and then Add to home screen.