It was a VERY strong wind that day, and I absolutely swear to god that none of it was my fault. Seriously, guys. It was the WIND that knocked my umbrella into that dork's face. And his coffee fell too, rolling away. I explicitly articulated my most SINCEREST apologies and how I was just as much publicly humiliated as him.
"What is wrong with you-- I'm Gabe by the way--," he took my gloved hand to shake before returning to his nuclear meltdown. "--And what is wrong with you, coming out of nowhere, a ninja slash cat monkey assaulting my vulnerability, battering me to a pulp, leaving me struggling within in an inch of my life. I have asthma, you brute. Precious people like me die from wheezing. How dare you."
"I am MIRANDA," I shrug at Gabe. "Guess I am TOO MUCH of a woman for you."1110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbvZRHJbUGB
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With the last word, I STRUT away. A minute later, it grew apparent he won't let that happen. He ran to my side, stammering and BLUBBERING like a fool.1110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFodFwfCUhQ
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"Now, just wait a gosh-darned second here!" Gabe raised a finger. I kept a straight face when inside I just wanted to LOL. "You still owe me coffee-- and for mangling my face-- who knows if I ever see you again."1110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPMLZKhVHOQ
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"I did not MANGLE your face! The wind did! Your face is not mangled, your face is perfectly FINE!" I huffed, realizing we stood outside the cafe. "I am being blackmailed and entrapped. I am not okay with it!"1110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq3GTfgo3y5
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The clouds roared back, and rain shattered. I fought with the umbrella.1110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyRPGfySmDm
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"So it's a date!" Gabe shouted over the hysteria. 1110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCBlMJIrI0Y
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"NO. GOODBYE FOREVER." I stormed off into the storm, wrestling with the umbrella and the wind. It took until the stoplight when Gabe ran up at the moment the wind grew VERY strong again. I swear to god, it was NOT ME the first time and it was STILL not me the second time. SMACK.1110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqVNaFVjZnS
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The umbrella slapped Gabe ... again. I SHRIEKED in horror.1110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0XiAvNRVUn
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"What is wrong with you-- ," Gabe said as the pedestrian sign lit up and chased me across the splashing street. "-- I think I'm bleeding! Am I bleeding? My poor mangled face. You may rob me of my coffee and my dignity but you can't get rid of me that easy, infernal murderess. A menace to society, I say! We are all in danger!"
"Then stay FAR away from me!" 1110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH4NAzLWURy
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Gabe took my gloved hand, and at that moment our hair rose. White lightning struck -- shocking us both. We keeled over, tased and jolted in waves until it was over. We glanced at each other with fresh and cooked eyes. Smoke steamed from our bodies. Boots were knocked from our feet. We marveled that we were electrocuted and somehow miraculously survived. I nodded, "Okay... Coffee sounds good right now..."1110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ39dPMbzfZh
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"So it's a date, Miranda," Gabe said, pleased. "That is spectacular."1110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdP035cBoGu
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"It is NOT a date," I insisted. "This is strictly normal and boring. People get hit by lightning all the time, Gabe."1110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOcHoiU6GRz
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"And you're buying!" He pointed an accusing finger.1110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxrHmh2Feib
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"No, if anything it is YOU who are buying," I bickered. 1110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCUjhn9HIqe
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"If I'm buying, ergo it's a date."1110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp1Me4I6HzF
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"NOPE. WRONG. Regardless of someone buying, it is NOT--"1110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQS0vgND9vH
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We got struck by white lightning twice and wound up in the hospital, in the same room, with a curtain drawn between us. We spent hours staring at the ceiling arguing whose fault it was and how awful the coffee were here.1110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnQcdKeXBeY
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Then his voice stopped. I looked at the curtain, hearing a droning flatline. I tore the curtain back. He was off the machine, leaning in for a kiss.1110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIxuOyXTVjR
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"Kiss me?" 1110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgx2ty75akR
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It was so OBVIOUS he was going to be my husband.1110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZgulldZrWm
So OBVIOUS he was going to be the father of my child.1110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbimcR6X6OP
Gabe. That sweet dork. How can I not love him? 1110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ38hzSM2brw
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"No, you kiss me," I said. His eyes closed, as if to melt.
In our hospital gowns, we locked lips. And the rest?1110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRgS9oJmhnP
The rest was, as they say, a WEIRD love story.
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