It was a VERY strong wind that day, and I absolutely swear to god that none of it was my fault. Seriously, guys. It was the WIND that knocked my umbrella into that dork's face. And his coffee fell too, rolling away. I explicitly articulated my most SINCEREST apologies and how I was just as much publicly humiliated as him.
"What is wrong with you-- I'm Gabe by the way--," he took my gloved hand to shake before returning to his nuclear meltdown. "--And what is wrong with you, coming out of nowhere, a ninja slash cat monkey assaulting my vulnerability, battering me to a pulp, leaving me struggling within in an inch of my life. I have asthma, you brute. Precious people like me die from wheezing. How dare you."
"I am MIRANDA," I shrug at Gabe. "Guess I am TOO MUCH of a woman for you."1087Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCpY7A1vMgD
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With the last word, I STRUT away. A minute later, it grew apparent he won't let that happen. He ran to my side, stammering and BLUBBERING like a fool.1087Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpJDDlBIkE3
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"Now, just wait a gosh-darned second here!" Gabe raised a finger. I kept a straight face when inside I just wanted to LOL. "You still owe me coffee-- and for mangling my face-- who knows if I ever see you again."1087Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPbb37TBUqN
1087Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnjEQPkiLlp
"I did not MANGLE your face! The wind did! Your face is not mangled, your face is perfectly FINE!" I huffed, realizing we stood outside the cafe. "I am being blackmailed and entrapped. I am not okay with it!"1087Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHIOCbB9SCg
1087Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ44cMOuMcGp
The clouds roared back, and rain shattered. I fought with the umbrella.1087Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqZnJl2zX3U
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"So it's a date!" Gabe shouted over the hysteria. 1087Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ34vM0ICsf5
1087Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdcXDVKfnCd
"NO. GOODBYE FOREVER." I stormed off into the storm, wrestling with the umbrella and the wind. It took until the stoplight when Gabe ran up at the moment the wind grew VERY strong again. I swear to god, it was NOT ME the first time and it was STILL not me the second time. SMACK.1087Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqjV6NUwDwD
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The umbrella slapped Gabe ... again. I SHRIEKED in horror.1087Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV6v51g68oK
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"What is wrong with you-- ," Gabe said as the pedestrian sign lit up and chased me across the splashing street. "-- I think I'm bleeding! Am I bleeding? My poor mangled face. You may rob me of my coffee and my dignity but you can't get rid of me that easy, infernal murderess. A menace to society, I say! We are all in danger!"
"Then stay FAR away from me!" 1087Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcmhpw0Vuss
1087Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOQzmWh7Cdj
Gabe took my gloved hand, and at that moment our hair rose. White lightning struck -- shocking us both. We keeled over, tased and jolted in waves until it was over. We glanced at each other with fresh and cooked eyes. Smoke steamed from our bodies. Boots were knocked from our feet. We marveled that we were electrocuted and somehow miraculously survived. I nodded, "Okay... Coffee sounds good right now..."1087Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyreHRcJQMp
1087Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0z5a4VCwH1
"So it's a date, Miranda," Gabe said, pleased. "That is spectacular."1087Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmGLWPjWSbV
1087Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmilaGHzRVJ
"It is NOT a date," I insisted. "This is strictly normal and boring. People get hit by lightning all the time, Gabe."1087Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMBh7S0HjFH
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"And you're buying!" He pointed an accusing finger.1087Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVHjsJpZcHi
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"No, if anything it is YOU who are buying," I bickered. 1087Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFZWxxgaCNe
1087Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcT0UxnyXrz
"If I'm buying, ergo it's a date."1087Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeiyiXDwWaM
1087Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1PBya2Z86r
"NOPE. WRONG. Regardless of someone buying, it is NOT--"1087Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2yV4E7YZBr
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We got struck by white lightning twice and wound up in the hospital, in the same room, with a curtain drawn between us. We spent hours staring at the ceiling arguing whose fault it was and how awful the coffee were here.1087Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlhneB2Y4wj
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Then his voice stopped. I looked at the curtain, hearing a droning flatline. I tore the curtain back. He was off the machine, leaning in for a kiss.1087Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3OEloA8Z5e
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"Kiss me?" 1087Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv8V8yqOGrE
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It was so OBVIOUS he was going to be my husband.1087Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG3Nwv8Bih7
So OBVIOUS he was going to be the father of my child.1087Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8LHGTeZDXS
Gabe. That sweet dork. How can I not love him? 1087Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyzkeuiJM9Y
1087Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVrZct7agJz
"No, you kiss me," I said. His eyes closed, as if to melt.
In our hospital gowns, we locked lips. And the rest?1087Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNaLHBdpfVY
The rest was, as they say, a WEIRD love story.
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