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人生悲喜劇
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人生悲喜劇
ISSUE #14
Author: 陳綸
人生悲喜劇
Author: 陳綸
ISSUE #14
死不了的男人
No Plagiarism!aPmlX0aLwow6k66pMUXbposted on PＥNAＮＡ

今天我很晚才下班，開車回家的路上已經沒有行人了。當我開車經過一座橋的時候，我看到住隔壁的小張站在那邊，他最近剛死了老婆情緒不太穩定，我連忙下車往他的方向跑去，還沒跑到他身邊，這貨就給我跳下去了！

537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0lLU4iKV3a

「小張啊！」

537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRsBVrUddYD

我跑到橋邊一看，水面黑乎乎的一片，正不知怎辦的時候，小張飛了出來？？！說“飛”不準確，應該說，被丟出了水面！！！

537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2krZ9U9L42

「小張啊！」我趕緊過去他那邊，小張側躺在地撫著肩膀正在哀號，我趕緊將他扶上車回家。

537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXllWoejNav

「休息一下，我弄些熱湯給你喝啊。」我把小張留在客廳，自己去了廚房，水都還沒燒開，外面就傳來『乒乒乓乓』的聲音，然後小張衝了進來，一把搶走我手上的刀往自己的心窩刺，刀子竟然在碰到小張的瞬間斷掉！！！

537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSDImwkGMdX

「喂！」我想制止他，但我驚到說不出話了！

537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoeh4wGc8wD

「反正又死不了！」小張説著丟掉手上的刀，把頭伸進煮水的鍋子裡，一邊把火開到最大，然後，我就看到我的鍋子，我的鐵鍋像黏土一樣被拉成了兩半！！！

537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpLfriel3GD

「這......啥......」

537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0qcO1Ei3Mn

小張一屁股坐在地上哭了起來：「老婆......我想老婆.......我要老婆.......」

537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ879xuUaJ7h

「......也許，我們去找靈媒問看看？」小張點了點頭，乖乖地跟著上了車。

537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlDLpZ7z1Wz

「死鬼！找我做啥哩！」一陣作法後，小張的老婆似乎附身在靈媒的身上，

537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfVIAtlLp7k

「老婆！」小張叫著，一邊想衝上去，然後，他又飛了......這次被靈媒踹的......

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「死鬼！竟敢抱其他女人！」

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小張蜷縮在地上用手背抹著眼淚鼻涕：「老婆，人家想妳啦！」

537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKENdNIflpx

上一秒還在踹人的靈媒下一秒卻抱著小張一起大哭，

537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOAngiMT9Mq

「都是我，賺得不夠多，不能幫妳治病嗚嗚」

537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJcxj9l5Da2

「是我不好，沒事生什麼怪病要那麼花錢哇哇」

537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrUi9cO1e6n

「老婆～人家想去陰間找妳啦！妳不在人家好寂寞咿咿」

537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwZpLVmT8Fs

「老婆不是一直在你身邊嗎哇哇，今天你從河裡被丟出去的時候沒有感受到老婆滿滿的愛嗎嗚嗚」

537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ525HyfalLE

「對啊好痛喔咿咿」小張拿起小拳頭搥了兩下靈媒，我都看了些啥......

537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo6B6xrK8wC

「不可以再自殺嘍！不然老婆打得你屁股開花喔嗷嗷」

537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfiTDtHgCGe

「知道了咿咿」，兩人折騰了半天終於結束了......

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我把雀躍不已的小張送回去，疲憊的回家，一打開門

537Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBFr07EQKfe

滿地的清潔劑

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斷腳的椅子

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扯掉的窗簾

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沒頭的電線

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……我的天！這傢伙在我家搞自殺全餐啊！我直接昏倒在家門口......

216.73.216.200

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人生悲喜劇
Comedy
Sarcasm
Last updated: Jun 2, 2024
Total word count: 3,152
Total reading time: 11 Minutes
Writer:
陳綸
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