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人生悲喜劇 - 死不了的男人 | Penana
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人生悲喜劇
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人生悲喜劇
ISSUE #14
Author: 陳綸
人生悲喜劇
Author: 陳綸
ISSUE #14
死不了的男人
No Plagiarism!kQxM2PEmBxWfFqQqQsrGposted on PＥNAＮＡ

今天我很晚才下班，開車回家的路上已經沒有行人了。當我開車經過一座橋的時候，我看到住隔壁的小張站在那邊，他最近剛死了老婆情緒不太穩定，我連忙下車往他的方向跑去，還沒跑到他身邊，這貨就給我跳下去了！

723Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ACwOEGzaU

「小張啊！」

723Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrmNy5vkqDY

我跑到橋邊一看，水面黑乎乎的一片，正不知怎辦的時候，小張飛了出來？？！說“飛”不準確，應該說，被丟出了水面！！！

723Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuipXWY6L0B

「小張啊！」我趕緊過去他那邊，小張側躺在地撫著肩膀正在哀號，我趕緊將他扶上車回家。

723Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxNS12jJEdO

「休息一下，我弄些熱湯給你喝啊。」我把小張留在客廳，自己去了廚房，水都還沒燒開，外面就傳來『乒乒乓乓』的聲音，然後小張衝了進來，一把搶走我手上的刀往自己的心窩刺，刀子竟然在碰到小張的瞬間斷掉！！！

723Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw3rwoPXBfC

「喂！」我想制止他，但我驚到說不出話了！

723Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYIkgAGiUWS

「反正又死不了！」小張説著丟掉手上的刀，把頭伸進煮水的鍋子裡，一邊把火開到最大，然後，我就看到我的鍋子，我的鐵鍋像黏土一樣被拉成了兩半！！！

723Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3d5rHc7PEQ

「這......啥......」

723Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbjGOgtLEmR

小張一屁股坐在地上哭了起來：「老婆......我想老婆.......我要老婆.......」

723Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnskhWXNUJC

「......也許，我們去找靈媒問看看？」小張點了點頭，乖乖地跟著上了車。

723Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡICkxVhMzQs

「死鬼！找我做啥哩！」一陣作法後，小張的老婆似乎附身在靈媒的身上，

723Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU9d0TVdN7s

「老婆！」小張叫著，一邊想衝上去，然後，他又飛了......這次被靈媒踹的......

723Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHJOvDaceE3

「死鬼！竟敢抱其他女人！」

723Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvyjnUBdD4l

小張蜷縮在地上用手背抹著眼淚鼻涕：「老婆，人家想妳啦！」

723Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡikNYY74vAx

上一秒還在踹人的靈媒下一秒卻抱著小張一起大哭，

723Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzgcStEz4Xx

「都是我，賺得不夠多，不能幫妳治病嗚嗚」

723Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIqKpaGJ51U

「是我不好，沒事生什麼怪病要那麼花錢哇哇」

723Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9dqyyHXXKP

「老婆～人家想去陰間找妳啦！妳不在人家好寂寞咿咿」

723Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLtkm7EjY09

「老婆不是一直在你身邊嗎哇哇，今天你從河裡被丟出去的時候沒有感受到老婆滿滿的愛嗎嗚嗚」

723Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM1jNt3m8yl

「對啊好痛喔咿咿」小張拿起小拳頭搥了兩下靈媒，我都看了些啥......

723Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjQQYE4gATK

「不可以再自殺嘍！不然老婆打得你屁股開花喔嗷嗷」

723Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIspg6nZybP

「知道了咿咿」，兩人折騰了半天終於結束了......

723Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8i2ftAB8EA

我把雀躍不已的小張送回去，疲憊的回家，一打開門

723Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiP9A3fMtnl

滿地的清潔劑

723Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZsG6WapiEf

斷腳的椅子

723Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgloR6LJR4r

扯掉的窗簾

723Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡayvqjRzbjF

沒頭的電線

723Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbVTNv9U6CR

……我的天！這傢伙在我家搞自殺全餐啊！我直接昏倒在家門口......

216.73.216.253

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人生悲喜劇
Comedy
Sarcasm
Last updated: Jun 2, 2024
Total word count: 3,152
Total reading time: 11 Minutes
Writer:
陳綸
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