How To: Survive on Penana - [Or SAO 2.0]

To that one other guy who puts vortexes in his front door:

Go eat a cookie and choke to death. Screw you.

I mean, who even does that? Who even finds a vortex? How long have vortexes been a thing?

I don't know. All I know is that I am about to die. After the vortex sent me crashing to the ground, I found myself in a strange world. For a lack of a better term, it was an MMO world, where fantastical creatures like dragons and goblins lurk. How do I know about this world's inhabitants?

Thats because they are staring hungrily at me right now, as if judging if I was a good dinner. I gulped. I had no weapon to fend these creatures off, had no real fighting experience, and had no armor to block any damage.

Fifty percent of my enemies were dragons too. They were lvl ones, sure, but they were still DRAGONS DAMNIT. DRAGONS ARE SSSTRRROONNGGG.

In short: this fight was rigged.

Imma gonna die in this weird world. When you read my gravestone message, it'll probably read something like "wuss got rekt by newbs lmao". I wasn't looking forward to that.

I steeled myself, desperately clutching on to whatever passed for a weapon. I couldn't use my laptop - it was stuck to my waist like it has always been, and the bomb that triggers when I stop typing was there as well.

I probably should had mentioned that a few chapters ago, oops. Maybe the bomb will activate when these bloodthirsty fiends chow down on my dead body and decimate them to oblivion. I'll like that.

In the spare moments I have left, I begin typing one final piece of advice to Penana writers. I already dropped my makeshift branch sword - that wouldn't work anyways. I have been doing this shtick for god knows how long (How long did I stay in that castle again?) and I'm not one to leave things hanging either so here goes:

Talk to other writers. Make friends with them. I mean it. Join a society or whatever. Friends are more likely to check out one another's work and having a writer friend always helps to motivate and spur you along. Writer is not a lonesome journey. If it was, then you wouldn't see so many dedications in so many books.

Make some friends and write, thats the way you can pierce through the Penana writing heaven...

And thats all the time I have left.

The dragons and goblins pounced on me, nearly tearing me to shreads.

However ---

---A flash of blue light,

a beam cutting through enemy after enemy like hot butter

Then, a message.

[-199 damage! Wrote another writing advice! All enemies slaughtered! Gilbertstein says keep up the good work!]

My hunters drop dead but I don't feel any relief. Instead, all I feel is

pppaaiiinnn 905Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEtlF7fJJvy

SSssscrreww you gillbbeertttstein. Why do you do dis?

ns 172.69.59.16da2