Meet Tess Stone
Early one morning after I sent Prim off to school, my doorbell rang. When I answered the door, I saw a pretty young smiling girl, maybe 18, and behind her a very large mountain of a man, like 40. The girl was obviously from the Capitol, with her fully made up face, white skin, pink lips, auburn hair, and a huge red bow on her head. The man looked like a character from a PeaceKeeper recruiting poster, blue eyed, square chin, with a huge scar down his face, neck, and down under his shirt. The smile on her face was so open, trusting, and sincere I found it hard to believe it was aimed at me, someone who didn't even know her.
Through a generous smile she said, "Hello, Peeta. I am Tess. Tess Stone."
The well connected Lady Livia Stone has been working with me for months on setting up a show of my art work in the Capitol, and I do remember getting a letter months ago from her granddaughter Tess, but nothing more.
"Oh yes, Tess Stone. Come on in. How is your grandmother?" Out of the corner of my eye I could see Katniss smiling, as she seemed to be studying my face. I knew something was going on, but what?
"Great, she sends her regards and she hopes we can put together that art exhibit soon."
Tess sat on my couch. Katniss sat right next to her, and the man went to stand against the wall.
"Don't mind Tom. He is not very friendly, but is extremely loyal," Tess said as she gave an unanswered smile to Tom.
The strange quiet man irritates me, but not as much as not knowing what was going on with this girl. "So I guess you're here to see how my art is going?"
"Well, yes, that is one reason I came. And I did bring some presents for the whole family, but really after all the letters we exchanged I just wanted to talk in person."
Katniss just smiled, "You know, under all the makeup, I think she is really very pretty. What do you think?"
I wished I had a finger sign for "What the hell is happening?". I flashed her the yes sign.
Katniss said, "You should tell her how excited you're to see her in person."
"Well, I'm very happy to see you. I've always looked forward to your letters. In fact, tonight, I think I will have to re-read them." What letters were we talking about? "I'm such a poor host. Let me get you some tea, or would you prefer coffee?"
"Tea would be fine.", Tess said.
When I got into the kitchen, I frowned at Katniss. "What is going on?"
"Nothing. You told me to answer the fan mail, so I did." Katniss said as she hunched her shoulders.
She was up to something I knew it, but I couldn't make sense of this. "What did you say to her?"
"Nothing much," Katniss said with a smirk.
When I got back and pour the tea I asked her. "Where are you staying?"
Tess says, "Don't worry about me, I parked my family's rail car at the rail yard. It's a lovely apartment on wheels really with all the luxuries of home. And I have Tom to keep me company. Grandma won't let me travel without him."
It dawn on me she is planning to say a while. What is she planning on doing here?
I looked up to see Caroline coming down the stairs. As soon as Tess sees her she gets up to greet her.
"Oh Misses Everdeen I am so glad to see you. I am so sorry for your lose, Katniss seemed to be such a wonderful girl. I cried many tears over Katniss. It was a crime what happened to your daughter, I believe that and there are many others in the Capitol that would agree."
Caroline obviously was a little shocked and confused by Tess but said, "Oh,…Thank you."
Tess made a hand sign to Tom and he came over and handed a box to Tess. "I found this for sale in the Capitol and think it belongs with you." When she opened the box Katniss's blue reaping dress came out. On seeing the dress she covered her face with the dress and started sobbing. Tess hugged her and started whispering in Caroline's ear.
Caroline finally got some control of herself and said, "It had been my favorite dress, I saved it for years to share with her and she only got to wear it once."
Still hugging Caroline Tess said, "She will be remembered by everyone, a hundred years from now people will remember her bravery and beauty."
"She was always a brave girl. She saved our whole family when she was just 11 years old, you know."
After Caroline finally settled down, Tess and I went upstairs to show her my art.
We went up to the library which now served as my studio. Leaning against all the book shelves are many pictures of mine, each carefully covered with drop cloths. I had learned quickly that some of my subjects were too intense for the girls. Katniss stays close to Tess, she seemed very curious about everything she does.
Tess head started to slowly scan the room. "You did all of these, in just a couple of months!"
I try to minimize the work, but I myself don't understand how fast and good I have become. "Well not all of them are complete."
I move around the room picking out my least intense pictures. I pick portraits, and landscapes. Katniss calls out some of her favorites.
When I hand Tess the pictures one, by one she lights up like it was Christmas, "Wow, Peeta these are great! This portrait of Prim and Caroline is not only wonderfully done, but I can really feel how much you care for them, it is just so loving. Prim looks so bright, and full of life. Are all of these this good?"
Katniss beams with pride, "You are going to be famous. Didn't I tell you so?"
I try to break the bad news to her gently, "Depends on what you mean by good. Technically, that is not my best effort. I did that very early on, but most of my best works I don't think are sellable."
"Oh, Peeta don't show her those. You just met her. Don't scare her!", Katniss pleaded.
Tess says, "Why is that?"
How can I explain to anyone, except maybe Katniss, how these terrible images haunt me day and night and I must get them out? "I lot of them are so sad, or intense, I don't suspect anyone will want them besides me."
"Like what?", Tess says.
I point to a picture on the floor, right next to her foot. "You might not want to look at that one."
Katniss glares at me and says, "Oh, Peeta what are you doing?"
She uncovers it, and her hand goes to her mouth, as her face goes ashen. She saw a beautify young girl, with long auburn curls, cuddled in a pile of wonderfully large brown leaves. Her pale peaceful, almost angelic face was framed by the large brown leaves, the glow of the fire, and the large long bright red scarf she wore. So when in the next second when you finally notice the red scarf is her blood and someone had slit her throat it came as a shock. Tess looks for a chair and tries to compose herself. "Who is she?"
I can feel my throat close up, and I hold on to avoid tears. "She is one of my victims. I slit her throat in order to be able to stay with the careers. I have several of her here. I just can't get her out of my head. She is the reason I am going to hell."
Tess looks so sad as she says, "Oh, my poor boy. None of that was your fault."
I not sure I can explain it to anyone, but I will give it a try. "I had already decided to do whatever was necessary to protect Katniss. So you see it was important that I lived, and that I stay with the careers, so I could save her, but that means I had already decided that Katniss's life was more important than mine or hers. I am going to hell."
Katniss started pacing back and forth with anger. "You didn't do shit, it was that damn President Snow and the Capitol. They are the ones responsible, not you!"
Tess grabs my hand, gives it a firm grip, looks me in the eye and says, "It really is a wonderful picture, I have known every important artist of the last ten years personally. And I can honestly say your work is beyond them all. You were going to take the art world by storm."
I say, "Even with subject matters like that?"
"Maybe you wouldn't want it in your living room, but museums and some collectors would love it.", Tess said.
I feel sicken at the thought of people admiring this horror of mine and say, "I don't think I would like anyone who liked it."
Tess voice sounds raspy as she says, "Peeta, it is the truth. You are telling the truth to people. The people of Panem need to face these things. Some people know how rare the truth is, and will love it for that." Then she gives me a hug, a kiss on my cheek, and we leave.
Tess said, "Why don't we take a walk? You can show me some of District 12." So we went outside. As soon as we were outside, Tess grabbed my face with her two hands and stared into my eyes. "You didn't write those letters did you?"
"No," I had to admit.
"Was it Prim or Mrs. Everdeen I was talking to?" I said nothing. Katniss was nowhere to be seen. Tom discreetly stayed a ways away.
With a wink in her eye, "Okay, keep your secrets, but they were very sweet letters. We need to talk, and I need you to trust me."
We started walking, and Tess grabbed my arm and leaned into me as we walked. "I never watch those games. No one in my family does, but when I heard about you and Katniss, well, I just had to see if it was true. Both of you were so brave and noble, …." Tess seemed on the edge of tears. "I guess I should introduce myself some, since you obviously did not read my letters. Of all the great houses, which once numbered in the dozens when my grandmother was young, there are only 3 now; Snow, Stone, and Book. My grandmother sister was Snow's first wife and likely the only person he truly loved, which has saved our family many times. So technically I am Snow's grandniece, which definitely helps at times, but we all live in fear of another great purge. I don't know if you realize it but Panem is on the verge of a second civil war. Everyone in power knows this."
She obviously was trying hard to get my trust, but I couldn't give it too easily, so I started with a test. "What is the Citadel?"
"Wow, how do you know that name? Never mind. As you might have guessed history is written by the victors, and what you learn in school only vaguely resembles what happened in the last civil war. As they told you, District 13 organized the other districts against the Capitol and was bombed heavily. What the textbooks leave out is that District 13 survived, hidden in a deep fortress, called the 'Citadel'."
"District 13 survived!" I say pretending to be more shocked then I was. The idea that the Capitol was lying to us had become part of my thought process.
"They have atomic missiles just like the Capitol does so complete destruction was impossible. So they in their Citadel have been waiting for a chance for another try at overthrowing the government. Snow uses the name Citadel to avoid even talking about District 13. He lives in constant fear of it."
I say, "So they have agents in the Districts organizing this revolt?"
"That is what Snow believes. He sees all revolt in terms of District 13, and yes, they are likely involved, but no one knows how much. Back to you, the game's goal is to cow the Districts but this time thanks to you and Katniss it didn't work. Snow has already started a mini purge, killing many people involved in the last game, including Seneca Crane, the doctors that worked on you, and many more. Snow was livid about the ending of the last game, and no one knows what is going to happen next, but you are going to be part of it."
I respond, "I'm not in the business of politics or war. Right now everything revolves around my promises to Katniss, and the people close to me."
Tess stopped walking and put her face right next to mine, our noses just a hair away from each other. "Peeta, when I heard what you did for Katniss, how you used your love as a weapon to protect her, I was amazed. You took my breath away. When I saw how brave both of you were I fell in love with the both of you. Then you two died….", She wiped a tear from her face. "And ever since then I have seen how hard you worked to protect your family and the Everdeens. It was like nothing I have ever seen before. You are a wonderful boy. You have shown everyone in Panem what we were supposed to be, but things are going to get ugly, and soon."
"I'm sorry, but for me things have been ugly ever since reaping day."
Tess took a large breath and let her chest fall before answering. "Peeta, one of the reasons I had to come was to prevent a bidding war on you. In the Capitol those in power know they can buy the company of Victors from Snow. I hope to prevent you from being forced into prostitution by being here with you."
Prostitution! Was that an option! I had to admit it had occurred to me charming people might lead to places I didn't want to go, but being sold! "You're staking a claim to me!"
"No, I am just a friend, but I am going to let it seem that I am. Not many people are willing to go against a Stone in a bidding war." We started walking again. "Peeta, I am going to help you, I promise you, but no one, not even a Stone, can stand against President Snow. We need to find a path that gives us what we want while keeping Snow happy. This is the way everyone who has survived in Panem does it."
We walked into the town and Tess wanted to be introduced to everyone as we went. All the people didn't know what to do. They had rarely seen a Capitol girl, and when they did the avoided making even eye contact, afraid they might stare or something, and end up in the whipping post. If it wasn't for me being a District 12 local hero, I am sure no one would talk to her, at least without being talked to first, but because of me they tried their best to be friendly.
We parted in town. On the way back home I walked as fast as I could, it was almost a run. I wanted to get back to the privacy of my room and get some answers, and I wanted them now. I stormed into the house, slamming doors, and getting confused looks from Caroline, who obviously wanted some answers too, but thought better when she saw my face. As soon as I entered my room I turned to Katniss who had followed me in from town. "Okay, Katniss what is this all about? What did you say to Tess?"
Katniss almost yelled, "Peeta, I love you!"
That stopped me for a second. We had been constantly together for months now, we had made love, I had taken in her family as mine, and in all this time she had never said this. On the other hand, I quickly realized it didn't explain anything. And her attempt at misdirection had made me just want to yell.
"Don't try to get me off topic. What is Tess all about?"
Katniss seemed almost in pain as she said, "Peeta, things have changed for me. You have always been special to me. Somehow you have always been there when I really needed someone. When my family and I were starving you saved us with bread. When I became a tribute you conspired to save me, and when I died you definitely brought me back. If I had been just a little braver I would have approached you years ago, but somehow you scared me. I guess I was scared of facing the truth, of admitting how much I owed you. But now you're my life, even more, you're what I would give life up for. Yes, I love you."
Part of me said I had gotten my heart's desire and I should stop this conversation here, but I knew there was more a lot more to what was going on here. "Katniss, I find that wonderful, but what about Tess?"
"Peeta, you have been looking out for me. It is time I start looking out for you."
It now dawns on me the depth of her conspiracy, "So you're hooking me up with women now?"
"Peeta, if you read her letters you would know she just wants to help you."
I can feel my anger building, "Don't act dumb, she doesn't even know me. She is a romantic fool caught up in the star crossed lover survivor story."
"Maybe, but just give her a chance. What did you know about me when you gave me the bread, or thought up the star crossed lover bit? You fell in love with my face and voice a long time before you knew anything about me, didn't you?"
Oh my god she is giving up on me, "I knew your soul, somehow I just did."
"Well maybe she knows your soul too."
"Katniss, I don't want any other woman. You have been and will always be the one I want."
"Peeta, you need so much more than I can give. You deserve to have a normal family life, to have children, grandchildren. You would be a great dad, but right now Tess is just a potential friend. But someday some girl will come along, someone you can make a future with, and if you give her up for me I will haunt you for real."
"But you're what I want. Through you I found a reason to live. This is all because of the day in the woods, isn't it? It might not be the same next time, or if you want there will never be another time, I can deal with that!"
"Peeta you have to understand, when we are apart I only feel half alive. When you hold me tight I feel almost normal, I need you so badly. I don't know if I can deal with staying apart, but I must." I grabbed her and she pushed me back. "Peeta, your future is out in the world of the living and not here with me. You're going to be a wonderful dad."
This time I slowly grabbed her and ever so slowly pulled her right against me. I looked into her eyes and said, "Katniss, I wanted you to be the mother of my children." I felt a tear run down my cheek and saw one on Katniss' face.
Katniss said. "Peeta, it is never going to happen, and I … I wish it were different." When I tried to kiss her she just pulled away and ran right through the wall.
She just disappeared for days. No matter how much I practiced my meditations nothing happened. I was sure she was somewhere nearby, but she was hiding from me and there was nothing I could do. I could make her visible but I can't force her to be near.
On the first day of Katniss's disappearance, I opened my front door to a Tess with no makeup, a simple white dress, and simple white shoes. She had gone into town and did all she could to make herself look like a normal District 12 girl. Without the makeup she still was very pale, but her cheeks were covered by hundreds of wonderful freckles. Her hair now hung in one long braid down her chest. She changed too, she seem shy without her makeup and won't meet my eyes. I knew she wondered how I felt about her conversion, but with Katniss gone I was in no mood, and gave her little encouragement. She brought hundreds of paints, they were of more colors than I knew existed, and on a better day I would be ecstatic at the chance to use them, but not today. No one who met me on that day went away happy.
On the second day of Katniss's disappearance, Tess showed up with plans for the exhibit hall and insisted that we go through all my art and figure out what to show and how I wanted them presented. We spent hours going through the details, and I started to feel bad about the way I was treating her. We spent a couple of hours painting together, and she really was good, she showed me a lot of techniques I never heard of, and before she left I think we really did have a good time. After she left I just wanted to kick myself, thinking Katniss could be watching and thinking she was right.
On that night, the night sky was a velvet black. The gem like stars lights seem to magnify the darkness that separated them. The chill of the night had removed all clouds and there was nothing separating me from the stars but the dark of the night. On my bedroom balcony I stared up into the sky imprisoned by its beauty. I couldn't help but reach up as if to touch the stars that seemed to just be right above my head. I felt a warm hand sneak into my left hand. In the dark I could not see anything next to me. I felt the fingers enrapt mine, and a smile instantly came to my face. We stood like this a long time. I didn't want to say anything. Just holding her hand made me happy and talking to her seemed a risky thing.
I wanted to say I am sorry, but I wasn't. I wasn't sorry I loved her, nor was I sorry she loved me. I was sorry we both were in pain. I wanted to persuade her that idea of finding me a mate was hopeless. I wanted to say that I will spend the rest of my life with her and be happy, but I know she won't buy it. Until I can prove to her that I can make her real with my new abilities without killing myself, she won't buy it.
I say to her "Katniss, was it because of her wealth and position you chose Tess."
"You need someone who can help you with the Capitol and President Snow, only someone like her can help you, but I wouldn't have gone through with it if I didn't think you and her wasn't a match. Her letters were filled with care and worry about you. She is even an artist like you. She just sounded perfect. You do like her don't you." As she spoke the tears started streaming down my face and I was so glad it is dark she can't see me.
Doing the best to not sound like I am crying I say, "She is a wonderful woman. She is pretty, kind, and I do like her."
Katniss says "Do you think….". She just stops there. I knew we had both gone as far as we could without either me or her running off again. We didn't' say anything to each other for the rest of the night.
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