等我能見到他時,又過了一個月。369Please respect copyright.PENANAhXOQw9ylKX
369Please respect copyright.PENANAO1BkK8DbG9
深呼吸了好幾口氣,練習了幾次微笑,我才踏進病房。369Please respect copyright.PENANAe1otKkreNv
369Please respect copyright.PENANAD2LaZmzjOx
他盯著我走近,待我在床前站定,見我微微一笑,他便咧開嘴笑了。369Please respect copyright.PENANAYbUzwB75Gl
369Please respect copyright.PENANAOQ9cVMZKqj
「我妹怎麼變這麼漂亮啦?」369Please respect copyright.PENANApgEVp0qDim
369Please respect copyright.PENANAvdCFebVSxv
我沒理會他的玩笑,只是看著臉色蒼白的他,當下覺得自己的微笑只是一道不讓自己哭出來的防線。369Please respect copyright.PENANA65D9CzTLmT
369Please respect copyright.PENANAOucwblM6Ra
我查過他的病,既然已到末期,治癒機率已經極低,幾乎是零。也知道他會長期處在各種疼痛裡。369Please respect copyright.PENANA6yL7U1PYyA
369Please respect copyright.PENANAZeT1mAr4px
所以我無法開口問他還好嗎,也沒辦法要他振作,更不能祝福他康復。369Please respect copyright.PENANAK7eMqQtiu1
369Please respect copyright.PENANAOLVTPZBIAL
只是他仍然對著我笑,笑得那麼真。369Please respect copyright.PENANAOV9qBYixzf
369Please respect copyright.PENANARsv35hGIEZ
「幹嘛傻在那裡,過來這邊坐啊。」他指指床邊的椅子。369Please respect copyright.PENANAUEMRahOzGi
369Please respect copyright.PENANAiM3ewVDvcm
我走過去,把椅子拉近病床,坐下。369Please respect copyright.PENANAepqRGjK8Ou
369Please respect copyright.PENANAQsqOejROuF
我們幾乎是同時伸出雙手的。369Please respect copyright.PENANA5yfFyMJG9j
369Please respect copyright.PENANAo3YCz0iMaS
碰到他的手時,我的鼻子就酸了,眼睛也模糊了。369Please respect copyright.PENANA7IVKsQwQy9
369Please respect copyright.PENANATG4lsv9Civ
「不是答應我不哭了嗎?」那句話有著溫柔的指責。369Please respect copyright.PENANAOlHU4OfnIa
369Please respect copyright.PENANAsNqAPkyLBZ
369Please respect copyright.PENANAH6jcUDXZLW
「現在有沒有哪裡會痛…?」我開口問。369Please respect copyright.PENANAa1SmHQc3sH
369Please respect copyright.PENANAz3m4CstaVt
「每天都在痛啊,肚子也痛、頭也痛,骨頭也都會痛…」369Please respect copyright.PENANA0SAQUVyJnM
369Please respect copyright.PENANA9X2JvmgpGR
他數家珍地說出,而我的眉頭也因此糾結。369Please respect copyright.PENANAD50CVQTaTQ
369Please respect copyright.PENANAmHuhPRjRkI
「現在不痛啦,看到妳都不痛啦。」見我皺眉,他胡亂地撒謊。369Please respect copyright.PENANAnhRC6iQ04T
369Please respect copyright.PENANANoaTsWaLTN
我揉著他的手,好像有很多話要說,但又覺得沒什麼好說。369Please respect copyright.PENANASM3J0PTdmW
369Please respect copyright.PENANACPlR2AcNMj
「爸…妳爸爸,有說什麼嗎?他知道嗎?」369Please respect copyright.PENANAfN3IkHN1M7
369Please respect copyright.PENANAh96erlABtN
我愣了一下,沒想到他會問這個問題。369Please respect copyright.PENANAOOxZQHsHHs
369Please respect copyright.PENANAdExlWNzicf
「他應該知道,但他沒跟我說什麼…」369Please respect copyright.PENANAqvNVLDEx8Z
369Please respect copyright.PENANANsNex4qMZq
「是嗎…我想也是啦。問問而已,妳不要多想。」369Please respect copyright.PENANAcTYrFpdmyt
369Please respect copyright.PENANACc9HMT9CYS
那一瞬間,我覺得父親的無情是無法被原諒的。369Please respect copyright.PENANA5rbekuRvJz
369Please respect copyright.PENANAFSmLQo674P
369Please respect copyright.PENANAy3wJE207wW
我拿出那晚編好的手繩,放到他手裡。369Please respect copyright.PENANAkcw1f37c64
369Please respect copyright.PENANAREbfbhIpul
「這是新編的。」369Please respect copyright.PENANAbrpnlqcwhM
369Please respect copyright.PENANApFBXYURGWs
他看了看手繩,又看看我。369Please respect copyright.PENANA9GFYbfcDII
369Please respect copyright.PENANAi7jUm7YAQr
「妳幫我拿櫃子裡的皮夾出來。」369Please respect copyright.PENANARAtp0Z7D7J
369Please respect copyright.PENANA87C8NDjVH6
我把皮夾遞給他,他從皮夾裡拿出了…好幾年前的那條幸運手繩。369Please respect copyright.PENANAZkkdWlZD7p
369Please respect copyright.PENANAy5ajWCjDnF
白色的線都變成灰色,已經髒髒的了,他拿出來時還是小心翼翼。369Please respect copyright.PENANAHGZjlcvkPb
369Please respect copyright.PENANAtDR9iuowcM
「妳看。」他得意。369Please respect copyright.PENANABptpmOIvpC
369Please respect copyright.PENANAsj8HTwTlPM
「虧你能留那麼久,我之前皮包掉了,你的照片也搞丟了…」369Please respect copyright.PENANAu7Yb3ywf5B
369Please respect copyright.PENANAocVXd8e33N
「幫我戴新的在手上。」他說。369Please respect copyright.PENANAZLxgEXP0EI
369Please respect copyright.PENANAN2y0vy47UZ
我一邊把手繩綁上他變得好細的手腕,一邊說著…369Please respect copyright.PENANAvpt9Fk7HFh
369Please respect copyright.PENANA8w8kN2Ncs3
「我們以前還說要一起合照,但都沒有做到…」369Please respect copyright.PENANAMDhHMjybWX
369Please respect copyright.PENANAKik3DldQoG
「現在拍。」369Please respect copyright.PENANAHN250bEru0
369Please respect copyright.PENANAQNePiMAcYX
「啊?」369Please respect copyright.PENANAr8s9ID8EMa
369Please respect copyright.PENANAtOct41ehMf
「現在就拍啊,妳手機有照相功能吧?」369Please respect copyright.PENANA6fxTljsQuR
369Please respect copyright.PENANApkFJ2HBeP1
「有。」我拿出手機,翻開摺疊螢幕,開啟相機功能。369Please respect copyright.PENANArxfsKw60TL
369Please respect copyright.PENANAZIVvL1MxwL
「等一下等一下。」他伸手拿了旁邊的眼鏡戴上。369Please respect copyright.PENANAissMYUmOMk
369Please respect copyright.PENANAe4xhcrshcX
「我這樣看起來比較不像流氓吧?」他又在笑。369Please respect copyright.PENANAt9B9PpWPuJ
369Please respect copyright.PENANAzAZcb5q1DB
我笑了,起身貼近床,把頭靠在他臉旁,拿著手機對著我們倆的大頭拍了一張照片。369Please respect copyright.PENANA3LVScSMkrw
369Please respect copyright.PENANAcqqMN5QVjx
369Please respect copyright.PENANAtJjkU2udjH
我坐回椅子上,有那麼一段時間,我們都沒有看著彼此,也沒有說話。369Please respect copyright.PENANAkLYCcf20ow
369Please respect copyright.PENANAO5wNIwto5v
「我離婚了。」英傑突然說。
「我被抓後,妳嫂子自己提的。」
「簽字是一定要簽的,拖著她也不對。」369Please respect copyright.PENANAJNO2SHhFfA
369Please respect copyright.PENANANZqBSV7CDt
我想起那個沒有喊過他「爸爸」的兒子,但我沒有勇氣開口問。369Please respect copyright.PENANAmIoOXy9zYS
369Please respect copyright.PENANAPZeKVQHZwl
369Please respect copyright.PENANAPzbuP2gbAg
「妳還有在寫小說嗎?」369Please respect copyright.PENANA6aA5uWAtAz
369Please respect copyright.PENANAXtVCY0axDP
「…有寫一些小故事。」369Please respect copyright.PENANAiT9ywK4jQZ
369Please respect copyright.PENANAD12c3nUZaR
「那就好,不要隨便放棄喔。」369Please respect copyright.PENANAADk9rwdSlg
369Please respect copyright.PENANAd8aeCUAV1D
「嗯。我好久沒看到你寫的詩了。」369Please respect copyright.PENANAJtrWuyD77c
369Please respect copyright.PENANAHMXK4zFWsF
「我太久沒寫字啦…字已經不漂亮,腦子也沒東西了。」369Please respect copyright.PENANAu31HcSDlhT
369Please respect copyright.PENANALVeFZJbDQP
「不會啦,字跡不會隨便改變的。」情感也是。369Please respect copyright.PENANAUS6fWQgagK
369Please respect copyright.PENANAwVWW4IMdXs
「妹。」369Please respect copyright.PENANAn5KzW8JY2Y
369Please respect copyright.PENANAi8TRaadiEU
「嗯?」369Please respect copyright.PENANAnvYJFWfJ8g
369Please respect copyright.PENANAC6zFnR9DJJ
「人真的要走到末路的時候,才知道只有家人會無條件的陪在身邊。」
「所以妳一定要好好珍惜家人,不要交壞朋友,也不要太相信外面的人。」
「也不要抽菸、喝太多酒…」
「如果可以,就回去念書,這個社會還是很看學歷…」369Please respect copyright.PENANAv2ubNfq33k
369Please respect copyright.PENANA04oV3AJHhx
我突然意識到他正在做什麼。369Please respect copyright.PENANAIYGacidMwx
369Please respect copyright.PENANAlnfML4j5o4
像是交代後事般的叮嚀,我聽在耳裡,痛在心裡,但我不能阻止他這麼做。369Please respect copyright.PENANAIPwp2aqzmW
369Please respect copyright.PENANAPejsgvZ4zc
因為我甚至不知道還有沒有下一次見他的機會。369Please respect copyright.PENANArDChfyZ7Hu
369Please respect copyright.PENANATxDgUZGlew
369Please respect copyright.PENANAR5fLAxCgOh
那天我在醫院陪他直到晚上才離開,他始終笑著,在我面前不表現出痛苦或難過。369Please respect copyright.PENANAamZmKyQFKO
369Please respect copyright.PENANAKFVy4B98Gm
他也答應讓我再去看他,只是要先跟他聯絡。369Please respect copyright.PENANAmRI8iurrMe
369Please respect copyright.PENANA0u0ecPOths
「我媽有點介意,所以不希望妳們碰到面。」369Please respect copyright.PENANAYT4prNi3It
369Please respect copyright.PENANAMimiOLUCdh
爾後我又見了他兩次,其中一次他告訴我,他信了主耶穌。369Please respect copyright.PENANACuEhHSEWQN
369Please respect copyright.PENANA8dUQIh26V8
我知道是身體病痛的折磨,讓他尋求精神上的慰藉。他親自寫了信給教會的小孩子,用自己的經歷告誡孩子們勿入歧途。369Please respect copyright.PENANAIvdGjtlTlE
369Please respect copyright.PENANAZoULrraiqr
我知道他害怕,知道他尋求救贖。369Please respect copyright.PENANAqBcnIKHGaO
369Please respect copyright.PENANAZEqmnX1FPh
我知道他就算把地獄或罪人掛在嘴邊,仍是害怕受苦的。369Please respect copyright.PENANAnnnk9yvwTD
369Please respect copyright.PENANAc6Bpfz0pTV
我知道他也許到了這一刻才開始後悔。369Please respect copyright.PENANAdQwTxlkf7t
369Please respect copyright.PENANAp2KgVVCkO5
但我是欣慰的。369Please respect copyright.PENANA9KC895DbAe
369Please respect copyright.PENANA4wqRI023tG
369Please respect copyright.PENANAvVTpYTHsQP
369Please respect copyright.PENANA4pC3RfHYaY
那一天來的又快又急。369Please respect copyright.PENANA9HheC1HHih
369Please respect copyright.PENANAtYgEh0XPsB
「妹…」369Please respect copyright.PENANAad7KcBpXYH
369Please respect copyright.PENANAD4xS5RWEzm
我接起電話,只聽到英傑喊了我,然後是沉重的喘息與啜泣。369Please respect copyright.PENANAIBIKieVcho
369Please respect copyright.PENANAisyk7sb4yg
「你怎麼了?怎麼了?」369Please respect copyright.PENANAZcpeaLJA2T
369Please respect copyright.PENANA1OfbfbHSwh
還拿著手機和他說話,我已經起身準備出門去醫院。369Please respect copyright.PENANAofziwO0zHg
369Please respect copyright.PENANAKQRgympR4E
「我還不想死…」他哭著說。369Please respect copyright.PENANA2at46acLBI
369Please respect copyright.PENANANGGVp8BkDD
那句話狠狠地撕裂了我的胸口。369Please respect copyright.PENANAJaW9yB4kYi
369Please respect copyright.PENANA2uUEfwvJ8P
369Please respect copyright.PENANAk9DAlauJ1Z
我跑進病房,英傑似乎剛剛才穩定下來,吊著點滴、眼眶泛紅、面容消瘦,也比上次更加蒼白、手臂上都是青色與紫色的瘀青。369Please respect copyright.PENANAp2GO9fEEKG
369Please respect copyright.PENANAHLIUxq8Lix
他的母親與姐姐看見我,臉色明顯地不自在。369Please respect copyright.PENANAeJIE9bhC4X
369Please respect copyright.PENANAaIJCQFrcuT
英傑打那通電話給我的時候,她們是不是也在呢?369Please respect copyright.PENANAVdcBVwdp0i
369Please respect copyright.PENANAPjVppyEIaL
她們小聲地和英傑說了幾句話,就走出病房,留給我和他說話的空間。369Please respect copyright.PENANAUpd8Qik4GB
369Please respect copyright.PENANAWeS5zNxv8o
369Please respect copyright.PENANAJ9lz1g6ZO5
我坐到上次的位置,握住他的手。369Please respect copyright.PENANAphsG9iuaIa
369Please respect copyright.PENANAzlavetCjjB
那雙手已又更瘦更冰冷了。369Please respect copyright.PENANA663wU95nen
369Please respect copyright.PENANAIvrJwQCS2w
「我真的,還不想死。」369Please respect copyright.PENANAizftIDKG6D
369Please respect copyright.PENANAsfz9Mk4PIP
我握著他的手出了點力。369Please respect copyright.PENANAsPFG8KDRgS
369Please respect copyright.PENANAe6RPQ4sffK
「我很害怕。」369Please respect copyright.PENANA5237Dg5uzT
369Please respect copyright.PENANAPLfjqIaGoo
「我很怕死…」369Please respect copyright.PENANAah4ML1E73m
369Please respect copyright.PENANA7SE074WoPA
他沒看著我,只盯著手。說完,他的眼淚就掉下來。369Please respect copyright.PENANAwphpAYI2LL
369Please respect copyright.PENANAe9IXNKAmS3
那是我第一次看見他掉眼淚,也是最後一次。369Please respect copyright.PENANAwHwpdcbZEA
369Please respect copyright.PENANA2juCjHckGv
「你已經悔改了,你一定會去天堂的。」我已經滿臉淚水,但還是看著他的眼睛說。369Please respect copyright.PENANAZbuef3SAut
369Please respect copyright.PENANAKAgLXvv5TX
「全身都很痛…」他終於抬頭看我。369Please respect copyright.PENANAuqnHy35TNr
369Please respect copyright.PENANACrdoTW5d7s
我趕緊抽幾張衛生紙擦他的臉,他的雙頰與眼窩都已經凹陷,我的手盡可能地放輕力道,就怕他疼。369Please respect copyright.PENANAVB3LxIpvIk
369Please respect copyright.PENANAfeF0abWw9Y
「你很努力了,我知道你很努力了…」369Please respect copyright.PENANAHKmWgVMlu6
369Please respect copyright.PENANA8ADS7BNmNP
我抱住他,驚覺他已弱不禁風的事實。369Please respect copyright.PENANAfLYbY23288
369Please respect copyright.PENANAxoMcA4MW9I
這讓我倏地停止了自己的眼淚。369Please respect copyright.PENANAHxd6fz1XNk
369Please respect copyright.PENANAGmWVo5pjMU
「沒事的,你的主會帶你離開,之後就不痛苦了。」369Please respect copyright.PENANAVZKo3UfWUV
369Please respect copyright.PENANAptpfpF0Gw2
英傑在我的臂彎裡哭泣了許久,才安靜下來。369Please respect copyright.PENANABjD7fK94Px
369Please respect copyright.PENANAFuNq4YAroO
369Please respect copyright.PENANARdXgdYFitn
「妹。」369Please respect copyright.PENANAWuv0BxuPk1
369Please respect copyright.PENANAknMdealWeG
「嗯?」369Please respect copyright.PENANAgWqSFe1EVw
369Please respect copyright.PENANA0JjDIKTFTK
「抽屜裡有一封信是給妳的。」369Please respect copyright.PENANAl75YgITVWZ
369Please respect copyright.PENANAkb3WtagDJW
我打開抽屜,拿起那個信封。369Please respect copyright.PENANADy6gK7F3tq
369Please respect copyright.PENANAUJBOlXQITR
「回去再看。」369Please respect copyright.PENANAgvB7hvgBo7
369Please respect copyright.PENANAdMoMx3RJ5e
「好。」我收起信。369Please respect copyright.PENANAXkHBKM20pi
369Please respect copyright.PENANADQTeWemyYW
「妳回去吧。」369Please respect copyright.PENANA6TZEOOolKz
369Please respect copyright.PENANAI5wAOXoVNM
「什麼?」369Please respect copyright.PENANA2ouTmCSeJs
369Please respect copyright.PENANAXX1OiSHFXb
「謝謝妳來…可是不要再來了。」369Please respect copyright.PENANAar5JsFRX26
369Please respect copyright.PENANAtumGH8l2Qn
「為什麼?」369Please respect copyright.PENANAKr7I5Rnr42
369Please respect copyright.PENANA0dfXoiCVqx
「我不想要妳送我離開,妳會很傷心,我也不想要看到妳那麼傷心。」369Please respect copyright.PENANAjZCJdUT1Pa
369Please respect copyright.PENANA2ilNhj2V5Q
「……」369Please respect copyright.PENANAwnGtpiL9pZ
369Please respect copyright.PENANAUpk5IKgu55
「回去吧。」369Please respect copyright.PENANAfspl2rB14U
369Please respect copyright.PENANAqk7qcsOSWL
他看著我,又對我笑了,那個笑看起來很費勁,也是他一直以來對我的溫柔表現。369Please respect copyright.PENANAVop0ra8q2b
369Please respect copyright.PENANAVijcubl4E3
不讓我送他走,也是哥哥對妹妹的溫柔。369Please respect copyright.PENANAXqkt6ggCqy
369Please respect copyright.PENANA01aIy8PzYk
我又抱了抱他才離開。369Please respect copyright.PENANA2zvvpqVP3i
369Please respect copyright.PENANAezLyPyOhrJ
369Please respect copyright.PENANADVkL5hogoW
當天晚上十點多,我收到他姊姊的簡訊。369Please respect copyright.PENANAr4yhQWv0hJ
369Please respect copyright.PENANABwZLo5mS0O
「英傑已經走了。」369Please respect copyright.PENANAOotvZ4vG2w
369Please respect copyright.PENANAnMT1LscJ8u
369Please respect copyright.PENANAynyRhT9Tau
那一瞬間我向心裡所有知道的神祈求,希望英傑能到更好的地方,希望他不要再受苦了。369Please respect copyright.PENANAplJlrMlgVu
369Please respect copyright.PENANAsN1uhYtNOt
我打開信封,裡面只有一張書籤大的紙。369Please respect copyright.PENANAQ00vFunDlI
369Please respect copyright.PENANAWy9SAAdIol
369Please respect copyright.PENANAG8F1hDwLXG
「Dear 妹:」369Please respect copyright.PENANAeabTtjSz4j
369Please respect copyright.PENANA2buTKgUajp
「妳永遠是我的天使,369Please respect copyright.PENANAiVZhjgVwjW
369Please respect copyright.PENANAQZyMRiYRAK
請不要忘記我。」369Please respect copyright.PENANATdGqkVsVSB
369Please respect copyright.PENANAlXjg0O96Rj
「哥 英傑」369Please respect copyright.PENANAYzGIFxc8RV
369Please respect copyright.PENANA9GIRoNBGzQ
369Please respect copyright.PENANANVa47pf1jP
我抱著自己,放任自己哭到睡著。369Please respect copyright.PENANA6cvsy6OyAs
369Please respect copyright.PENANA92fpbkMUg7
369Please respect copyright.PENANA9y6bkvjygu
369Please respect copyright.PENANA5J599netjZ
之後的每一年,我不選在英傑的忌日,而是在他的冥誕當天悼念他。369Please respect copyright.PENANAzTKkuAxtas
369Please respect copyright.PENANAUThEOrkQtS
每一年的五月三十,我都會寫一封信,表達我的思念,讓他知道「我沒有忘記他」。369Please respect copyright.PENANA2bhzHzBYtw
369Please respect copyright.PENANAkoqX0FdpGh
前幾年每到這天,我總是哭,總是放任自己因為想念而哭得泣不成聲。369Please respect copyright.PENANA3fCwP0dv9g
369Please respect copyright.PENANAr3FBNySFZQ
後來的後來,我漸漸不哭了,但沒有改變在這一天寫信的習慣。369Please respect copyright.PENANAmrqudbzkcS
369Please respect copyright.PENANAClsTFI71BO
英傑的回憶有時像巨石背在背上,有時像羽毛沾在胸口,無論哪一種,都是無法遺棄。369Please respect copyright.PENANAKtXeDx0T8u
369Please respect copyright.PENANATlh1pcOYHD
他走後,我便不再輕易評論一個人的好與壞。369Please respect copyright.PENANASMIhimO8M5
369Please respect copyright.PENANA266iDX3HQo
曾經我在英傑的新聞底下看見很多網友的謾罵、抨擊甚至是汙辱,我感到憤怒與心痛,想一個一個回應他們「你們什麼都不知道!」369Please respect copyright.PENANAPSDZtP7AsO
369Please respect copyright.PENANABhqQf3vaGI
但我什麼也沒做。369Please respect copyright.PENANAW8r87JLu9z
369Please respect copyright.PENANAm2p4q6F35t
因為那些人不認識他,也永遠不會認識他。369Please respect copyright.PENANAGMEaeWtQ4F
369Please respect copyright.PENANAzizVZgkxuT
所以我再也不對任何新聞或社會事件做評論。因為我知道,我不認識當事人,更不能體會當事人的親屬心情。369Please respect copyright.PENANAJ9qoPy2oO6
369Please respect copyright.PENANApFlpbxafm5
我回去念書,考進了大學,年年以取得獎學金為目標,只為不要白學。369Please respect copyright.PENANARyqME1moSd
369Please respect copyright.PENANAYy4rzoacll
一直沒有放棄創作,可能也是因為惦記著他說過的話。369Please respect copyright.PENANAgizzhpaZFh
369Please respect copyright.PENANANbxXhHdF0b
說起遺憾,大概是我喊他「英傑」比喊他「哥哥」的次數要多更多了吧。369Please respect copyright.PENANAUV1AGN3nt5
369Please respect copyright.PENANAQKDBJHanUR
369Please respect copyright.PENANA5wBg9b20Hh
去年,我沒有寫信。369Please respect copyright.PENANAupto3wcYEP
369Please respect copyright.PENANAONVUbnRx7M
我選擇在當天完成他的故事。369Please respect copyright.PENANA6R24lxPYRh
369Please respect copyright.PENANAmaFjKQtRkJ
他是一隻孤傲的鷹,獨自在天空闖蕩,受盡風霜,最後回巢,在家人身邊闔上眼。369Please respect copyright.PENANA7gIxa4swr7
369Please respect copyright.PENANAv3pE6abOiF
我是活在地面的狼,只能抬頭望著,用我的爪在沙上畫下他在天空翱翔的姿態。369Please respect copyright.PENANADGeCOtEQJU
369Please respect copyright.PENANAryjz8UwN0A
369Please respect copyright.PENANA5QqxjmHNmI
這是,我哥哥的故事。369Please respect copyright.PENANATanhGYoAA7
369Please respect copyright.PENANABH35hjUAFx
369Please respect copyright.PENANA9YzuC5WUhT
369Please respect copyright.PENANAieVF2AzlbV
完。
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