事情要回到幾個月前。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvMAWSIUjMF
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2gAdz7VKFT
「豺姐，我想跟妳道歉。」406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuxc4FrW180
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7UYbbl5tuA
聊著聊著，他突然傳來這樣的訊息。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgEGGfX5KEJ
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgLWo3SZya5
「幹嘛道歉？」406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjAjE9PEK1B
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSglPnaDkR0
「前一陣子，是不是有人密妳的skype，問妳想不想穿高跟鞋踩他？」406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcwp5dbZNIO
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGjuMZrlf0A
我想了一下，好像有這麼回事。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfoX9UIT7ll
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1UFRtw7mKA
「那個人就是我，但我應該馬上就被妳封鎖了吧？」406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwhNrBHN2Nc
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfqMkLNlqBs
「呃，因為skype是個常常會被陌生人亂加的程式，所以看到奇怪的訊息，我都是直接封鎖啊。」406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl5iGYU06xH
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEP7vKGBM1a
「拜託妳現在不要封鎖我。」406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2mRdCGijKI
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2PccJ85YWB
「不會啊，都是朋友了還鎖什麼，不過你是在惡作劇嗎？」406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE9fyqEAcDq
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUaMaBRh3M7
「不是。」406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtq8p7Q3sft
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjM1OFu2Bmf
然後，他開始和我說起，他的秘密。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCBTCgFxkmm
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP8wzDyLbaP
作為一個M，又稱「臣服者」（也有人說是「受虐者」，但我不喜歡這個稱呼），加上「戀物」及「戀足」，他從很久以前，就知道自己的喜好及性傾向，但沒有讓人知道，包括以前交的女朋友。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXzuGUdqHhW
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaMuf4rjaFi
看到高跟鞋會興奮，產生被虐的幻想；女孩子只要稍微兇他，他也會心癢，更別說是聽到一些汙辱謾罵的詞彙了，那只會讓他更高興。
在他意識到自己的性傾向時，還是個小孩。他下意識的覺得自己不正常，隨之而來的厭惡自己及沮喪情緒很快吞沒了他。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM6aDxEhwvH
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfcDGge25gL
所以他掩飾、逃避，逼自己過「正常人」的生活及性生活。
直到過了幾年，進入資訊爆炸的時代，Google大神開始顯神威，在網路上發現同好的時候，他才漸漸接受自己。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0MsFyaLZsh
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMJ4Trg7Ozj
「只是接受了自己，不代表別人肯接受這樣的我。」406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgGsQ62LZMA
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡctyU8wXIzl
所以他還是持續隱瞞這件事，也許是過於刻意隱瞞，在戀愛的過程中，他反而像個大男人，所交到的女朋友，也都是小女人類型的，這讓他更不可能坦白自己了。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxkFKDsXW4M
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYhGNmGwzXh
那天晚上，我幾乎聽完了他到目前為止的人生。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡubn01j8tj2
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtoWEDrZI5w
「壓抑」，若要下個結論，就只有這兩個字。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvoF32AXRLE
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnmgeEcHfx4
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgJUsUifZyT
「為什麼告訴我？」
不過是朋友的朋友，一群朋友一起出去過幾次，我真的不認為我們有那麼熟。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgstPyOIyfK
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhMZ5K17XDJ
「我信任妳。」406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq182P81B5o
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsr2smSeqoE
「噗，你也太容易相信別人了吧，萬一我是大嘴巴咧。」406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJxeu2yWgI3
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiIdhdtMasT
「妳應該不是。」406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCPMFCZcPDh
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvTJrammcBI
「這麼有信心？」406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡstDqHQ6WcR
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVodRHEA2CY
「有一次去唱歌，那個誰不是在說某個人的八卦嗎，說她和哪個歌手有一腿，還墮胎怎麼的。」406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrrnm0bIajX
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw6tjQpH8Wa
「嗯？」406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXysQsYqtYS
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjVH4PJJAT5
「妳本來在跟大家聊天，聊到這個就自己喝起酒來，也不搭話。我記得那個當事者跟妳有過節。」406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtEsdLM8kew
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJdnJe8yMvn
「是有一些無聊的過節，你怎麼會知道？」406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAR0pNJe4k0
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6f9U18FXCm
「因為別人是大嘴巴。可是妳當時什麼都沒說，也不參與話題，所以我信妳。」406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzFxg0PmSIQ
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡljSBC903RU
竟然被偷偷觀察了啊。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZiYIKuivuO
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjTFtDCVPkR
「說不定我只是口渴了想喝酒啊。」406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡncGbXoCuO6
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaz8k8d4OAv
「妳是大嘴巴嗎？」406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9w7yUwDHIp
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3L3hpittO2
「我不是，但你的故事可能會成為我的創作題材。」406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNQkQ7DJJNq
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9WsotbQ4HV
「哈哈哈。」406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1FCrgOUPYz
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhgjCYbLnzP
「哈哈。」406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFFqzS9qkpa
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhqqDLzezeC
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZwY8ybFNs2
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ooWgpA4dY
他捧著高跟鞋，或許是我的錯覺，他的手彷彿在微微的顫抖。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4eYeKssiX8
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEhGN3GLIqw
我看著他小心翼翼的，將自己的臉側過，慢慢的貼在鞋頭的鞋面上，一秒，兩秒，三秒，然後離開它，看了看鞋，抬頭，盯著我。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlB3eIV4yGB
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUqYl2OPyWE
他放下高跟鞋，頭低著，對我伸出手。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnetydYery8
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCqvolUclSY
我有點緊張，所以動作也很遲鈍。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsLmgXDUslb
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIBVDGYrVip
把右腳放進他手裡的時候，我意識到自己的雙手緊捏著床沿。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡODK845oJeX
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcdZ9UU3SQd
他微微抬頭，眼神落在我的腳背上。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6MS3kIACQ0
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKygSVp3NRb
就像電影裡演的紳士，在女士的手背親吻那樣，他也這麼做了，只是把手換成腳。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtmZMHSkaf1
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn79X0PAJ0O
他輕輕地吻了我的腳背，就一下子，沒有停留，沒有聲響，我也沒有感到不舒服。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw7SMhqtufY
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYEcrE0OZsw
他拿起高跟鞋，從我的腳尖套上，再合上腳跟，確認高跟鞋穿好後，放下我的右腳。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnBEEEeZKbg
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiMRuLNrQWu
接著，換左腳。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIB5dJ3e0Ey
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUYMBZoSti4
因為他的動作一直很溫柔，所以我的緊張感消失了大半。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIfGIWj5hSy
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf4I9RDzAmW
同樣的模式（或儀式）結束後，我的雙腳都穿上了高跟鞋，而他恢復了原本的姿勢，低著頭，跪著。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtYi3QeN0N9
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDod6UX1mIj
「頭抬起來。」我說。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQeTRHkRBj8
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3NcrXvKROU
命令的語氣。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEdJYykzeGh
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb6S7TDWrcF
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡClmscuIAwb
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEb2qZD5QMy
待續。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHQCdMhJCZj
然後按「加至主畫面」