事情要回到幾個月前。592Please respect copyright.PENANAsMa4M9Tnei
592Please respect copyright.PENANAnWh4tqOdY5
「豺姐,我想跟妳道歉。」592Please respect copyright.PENANAkFMv9wmX3j
592Please respect copyright.PENANAMrO5KCdN50
聊著聊著,他突然傳來這樣的訊息。592Please respect copyright.PENANAisNHtCCHNU
592Please respect copyright.PENANATdx9smVqMj
「幹嘛道歉?」592Please respect copyright.PENANA8loIXQjdE8
592Please respect copyright.PENANAQvda60UVU5
「前一陣子,是不是有人密妳的skype,問妳想不想穿高跟鞋踩他?」592Please respect copyright.PENANAmqjqjv7eqi
592Please respect copyright.PENANA2apvjDGxVr
我想了一下,好像有這麼回事。592Please respect copyright.PENANAct33OgUCwu
592Please respect copyright.PENANAIk8j8rBvCo
「那個人就是我,但我應該馬上就被妳封鎖了吧?」592Please respect copyright.PENANAmoQ3NIZDOD
592Please respect copyright.PENANAnNMWtxpE60
「呃,因為skype是個常常會被陌生人亂加的程式,所以看到奇怪的訊息,我都是直接封鎖啊。」592Please respect copyright.PENANAcof70zUcv5
592Please respect copyright.PENANAMOYV6Zsbux
「拜託妳現在不要封鎖我。」592Please respect copyright.PENANAUQKNebcLta
592Please respect copyright.PENANAPGiO1ltPMC
「不會啊,都是朋友了還鎖什麼,不過你是在惡作劇嗎?」592Please respect copyright.PENANAM9QJx1dwOP
592Please respect copyright.PENANAZJ546r4u5g
「不是。」592Please respect copyright.PENANA24lrg60Z17
592Please respect copyright.PENANADfJdgtR0u7
然後,他開始和我說起,他的秘密。592Please respect copyright.PENANAcZ2ajSeXVU
592Please respect copyright.PENANAKoTruTdoMv
作為一個M,又稱「臣服者」(也有人說是「受虐者」,但我不喜歡這個稱呼),加上「戀物」及「戀足」,他從很久以前,就知道自己的喜好及性傾向,但沒有讓人知道,包括以前交的女朋友。592Please respect copyright.PENANA1R3d7fl2Km
592Please respect copyright.PENANAIpo3eo8fSg
看到高跟鞋會興奮,產生被虐的幻想;女孩子只要稍微兇他,他也會心癢,更別說是聽到一些汙辱謾罵的詞彙了,那只會讓他更高興。
在他意識到自己的性傾向時,還是個小孩。他下意識的覺得自己不正常,隨之而來的厭惡自己及沮喪情緒很快吞沒了他。592Please respect copyright.PENANARO1yd6xwoV
592Please respect copyright.PENANA8tAwhHfnY8
所以他掩飾、逃避,逼自己過「正常人」的生活及性生活。
直到過了幾年,進入資訊爆炸的時代,Google大神開始顯神威,在網路上發現同好的時候,他才漸漸接受自己。592Please respect copyright.PENANAb41Kz471lj
592Please respect copyright.PENANAngk6pdu44q
「只是接受了自己,不代表別人肯接受這樣的我。」592Please respect copyright.PENANAoGIHVk5sMw
592Please respect copyright.PENANAVDehLyeQph
所以他還是持續隱瞞這件事,也許是過於刻意隱瞞,在戀愛的過程中,他反而像個大男人,所交到的女朋友,也都是小女人類型的,這讓他更不可能坦白自己了。592Please respect copyright.PENANAXwyOhH9P2v
592Please respect copyright.PENANAtM8GfuLyIm
那天晚上,我幾乎聽完了他到目前為止的人生。592Please respect copyright.PENANAJzamqRruZK
592Please respect copyright.PENANAq6yC9LZvyL
「壓抑」,若要下個結論,就只有這兩個字。592Please respect copyright.PENANAoPVl9XKkjQ
592Please respect copyright.PENANAt8LmqMMcFZ
592Please respect copyright.PENANArhW6B8Hj1m
「為什麼告訴我?」
不過是朋友的朋友,一群朋友一起出去過幾次,我真的不認為我們有那麼熟。592Please respect copyright.PENANANgAeBTlaK8
592Please respect copyright.PENANA0qyXz0n5Ur
「我信任妳。」592Please respect copyright.PENANA5zLG7U0Gez
592Please respect copyright.PENANATNiAklzieZ
「噗,你也太容易相信別人了吧,萬一我是大嘴巴咧。」592Please respect copyright.PENANALWsT1PW7bO
592Please respect copyright.PENANAhfYQccPzUk
「妳應該不是。」592Please respect copyright.PENANAD11Q6sA6no
592Please respect copyright.PENANA83WNh1lkOB
「這麼有信心?」592Please respect copyright.PENANAgj4zRQLAnA
592Please respect copyright.PENANAW8uh2IMFyv
「有一次去唱歌,那個誰不是在說某個人的八卦嗎,說她和哪個歌手有一腿,還墮胎怎麼的。」592Please respect copyright.PENANAITvbcGLtDo
592Please respect copyright.PENANAbvFiI8KlhO
「嗯?」592Please respect copyright.PENANAY597eT4cuw
592Please respect copyright.PENANAL4PfqN7OhN
「妳本來在跟大家聊天,聊到這個就自己喝起酒來,也不搭話。我記得那個當事者跟妳有過節。」592Please respect copyright.PENANAnH6HhZfokx
592Please respect copyright.PENANAix3TGK7z9z
「是有一些無聊的過節,你怎麼會知道?」592Please respect copyright.PENANA9zVJf0klPe
592Please respect copyright.PENANA0urJSWo8oP
「因為別人是大嘴巴。可是妳當時什麼都沒說,也不參與話題,所以我信妳。」592Please respect copyright.PENANAi1FFYsWjWf
592Please respect copyright.PENANALMvMA1yHO5
竟然被偷偷觀察了啊。592Please respect copyright.PENANAuAuU0EIpTU
592Please respect copyright.PENANA1TPI6Em70n
「說不定我只是口渴了想喝酒啊。」592Please respect copyright.PENANAshC4m9dk9y
592Please respect copyright.PENANAM1CdeyfxtU
「妳是大嘴巴嗎?」592Please respect copyright.PENANAH9kjMOIhn4
592Please respect copyright.PENANAWzT4LwAyb5
「我不是,但你的故事可能會成為我的創作題材。」592Please respect copyright.PENANAXpKHbpY2Mh
592Please respect copyright.PENANAGSovQ2vlob
「哈哈哈。」592Please respect copyright.PENANAU2eRyRqrwi
592Please respect copyright.PENANAgYozOMWLgz
「哈哈。」592Please respect copyright.PENANAyNLlQWJKDW
592Please respect copyright.PENANAwrYYEQHCTq
592Please respect copyright.PENANAQgw5Gt2Cbs
592Please respect copyright.PENANAUS19PtyIuI
他捧著高跟鞋,或許是我的錯覺,他的手彷彿在微微的顫抖。592Please respect copyright.PENANAv5uIPMtyhe
592Please respect copyright.PENANAwvPLtZFQcY
我看著他小心翼翼的,將自己的臉側過,慢慢的貼在鞋頭的鞋面上,一秒,兩秒,三秒,然後離開它,看了看鞋,抬頭,盯著我。592Please respect copyright.PENANACBT54tcE77
592Please respect copyright.PENANApVKZu3VaMw
他放下高跟鞋,頭低著,對我伸出手。592Please respect copyright.PENANA6N8mDdYMEO
592Please respect copyright.PENANAtUG1pr7vNX
我有點緊張,所以動作也很遲鈍。592Please respect copyright.PENANAq05IsUk41H
592Please respect copyright.PENANAoyGXsK9iPf
把右腳放進他手裡的時候,我意識到自己的雙手緊捏著床沿。592Please respect copyright.PENANAkVJC74LHXr
592Please respect copyright.PENANAiri3p0a7sL
他微微抬頭,眼神落在我的腳背上。592Please respect copyright.PENANACuEx3pH32S
592Please respect copyright.PENANA11UxZ0DBug
就像電影裡演的紳士,在女士的手背親吻那樣,他也這麼做了,只是把手換成腳。592Please respect copyright.PENANAHofAY8fhld
592Please respect copyright.PENANAJPDSzpCtuK
他輕輕地吻了我的腳背,就一下子,沒有停留,沒有聲響,我也沒有感到不舒服。592Please respect copyright.PENANARuKKb11jO5
592Please respect copyright.PENANAf4Vf5X01jP
他拿起高跟鞋,從我的腳尖套上,再合上腳跟,確認高跟鞋穿好後,放下我的右腳。592Please respect copyright.PENANAJfHmRlVtbf
592Please respect copyright.PENANAWPCn6tHFJI
接著,換左腳。592Please respect copyright.PENANAO8HjykHO8n
592Please respect copyright.PENANApjJDRxTzGD
因為他的動作一直很溫柔,所以我的緊張感消失了大半。592Please respect copyright.PENANAVMHWcRid3J
592Please respect copyright.PENANAlWUiiTo6SM
同樣的模式(或儀式)結束後,我的雙腳都穿上了高跟鞋,而他恢復了原本的姿勢,低著頭,跪著。592Please respect copyright.PENANA9btDInG9EZ
592Please respect copyright.PENANASKPHf6fLmi
「頭抬起來。」我說。592Please respect copyright.PENANAjoomI96Laz
592Please respect copyright.PENANA0kMScl7dTF
命令的語氣。592Please respect copyright.PENANA7kyuJIPGQD
592Please respect copyright.PENANAONHDLmTZLm
592Please respect copyright.PENANAJ46I1BmxSA
592Please respect copyright.PENANAVfRU8WAa3P
待續。592Please respect copyright.PENANAicW337rlXL


