等我能見到他時,又過了一個月。385Please respect copyright.PENANAa5CZp35ZuD
385Please respect copyright.PENANAV1bKAPhGS3
深呼吸了好幾口氣,練習了幾次微笑,我才踏進病房。385Please respect copyright.PENANAJMTkW2oGxl
385Please respect copyright.PENANAAbkBH6YNoY
他盯著我走近,待我在床前站定,見我微微一笑,他便咧開嘴笑了。385Please respect copyright.PENANAJOXMa1q5Ou
385Please respect copyright.PENANAlvT5ike52X
「我妹怎麼變這麼漂亮啦?」385Please respect copyright.PENANAb4Yc4UipP5
385Please respect copyright.PENANAe0PeyMePA7
我沒理會他的玩笑,只是看著臉色蒼白的他,當下覺得自己的微笑只是一道不讓自己哭出來的防線。385Please respect copyright.PENANAgTpkCbKyZK
385Please respect copyright.PENANA26h36l4XQX
我查過他的病,既然已到末期,治癒機率已經極低,幾乎是零。也知道他會長期處在各種疼痛裡。385Please respect copyright.PENANAHW5U2gOwuS
385Please respect copyright.PENANA6wRbn6IYmn
所以我無法開口問他還好嗎,也沒辦法要他振作,更不能祝福他康復。385Please respect copyright.PENANAsAh2W1etGA
385Please respect copyright.PENANAlWa48y9VLI
只是他仍然對著我笑,笑得那麼真。385Please respect copyright.PENANAjpOLs5jQqb
385Please respect copyright.PENANAKwsuU8X7ta
「幹嘛傻在那裡,過來這邊坐啊。」他指指床邊的椅子。385Please respect copyright.PENANAD8fQPnkwON
385Please respect copyright.PENANAbl2K7gAWtj
我走過去,把椅子拉近病床,坐下。385Please respect copyright.PENANAFmlf8xCBix
385Please respect copyright.PENANAcgZmokL0Io
我們幾乎是同時伸出雙手的。385Please respect copyright.PENANAz9QmDpe3dz
385Please respect copyright.PENANAOBCqFcKEly
碰到他的手時,我的鼻子就酸了,眼睛也模糊了。385Please respect copyright.PENANAyazj5azI0o
385Please respect copyright.PENANADdSwD9LDLs
「不是答應我不哭了嗎?」那句話有著溫柔的指責。385Please respect copyright.PENANAay2j7kjN1H
385Please respect copyright.PENANAm9NcJ8ZIMb
385Please respect copyright.PENANA2evJdoOpXZ
「現在有沒有哪裡會痛…?」我開口問。385Please respect copyright.PENANAn2wYEw7obh
385Please respect copyright.PENANAg5IxwtOarK
「每天都在痛啊,肚子也痛、頭也痛,骨頭也都會痛…」385Please respect copyright.PENANA10iOB0Jwam
385Please respect copyright.PENANA0LPAaiCZCB
他數家珍地說出,而我的眉頭也因此糾結。385Please respect copyright.PENANA9oLa9vMFIf
385Please respect copyright.PENANA0f4u4KecHA
「現在不痛啦,看到妳都不痛啦。」見我皺眉,他胡亂地撒謊。385Please respect copyright.PENANAx8xkGH3dvV
385Please respect copyright.PENANAzUsmjdlW8n
我揉著他的手,好像有很多話要說,但又覺得沒什麼好說。385Please respect copyright.PENANAGbCsDjS5M8
385Please respect copyright.PENANAyz9fXVXp2f
「爸…妳爸爸,有說什麼嗎?他知道嗎?」385Please respect copyright.PENANAWu1g9TPGCm
385Please respect copyright.PENANAwpjbAyaHi1
我愣了一下,沒想到他會問這個問題。385Please respect copyright.PENANA2VRJzvAXZB
385Please respect copyright.PENANALU1xB1KDB1
「他應該知道,但他沒跟我說什麼…」385Please respect copyright.PENANA4MaiUm2xLr
385Please respect copyright.PENANAEsmRfPOPeI
「是嗎…我想也是啦。問問而已,妳不要多想。」385Please respect copyright.PENANAnYMe1xaCec
385Please respect copyright.PENANAzhPEGfDe6T
那一瞬間,我覺得父親的無情是無法被原諒的。385Please respect copyright.PENANAglcK4srbWO
385Please respect copyright.PENANAmc8iTr5Ttw
385Please respect copyright.PENANAuwEJ7z4mk7
我拿出那晚編好的手繩,放到他手裡。385Please respect copyright.PENANAFnibyxo0iE
385Please respect copyright.PENANAG0pOgyNwqC
「這是新編的。」385Please respect copyright.PENANA9zmEpQ3oV0
385Please respect copyright.PENANAT7dx06Gn2Y
他看了看手繩,又看看我。385Please respect copyright.PENANAsqHvfgXpbq
385Please respect copyright.PENANA1HylwWCi8r
「妳幫我拿櫃子裡的皮夾出來。」385Please respect copyright.PENANAril6ddWU8Y
385Please respect copyright.PENANA8Zrd1y2BFf
我把皮夾遞給他,他從皮夾裡拿出了…好幾年前的那條幸運手繩。385Please respect copyright.PENANAGRkAUmCDfE
385Please respect copyright.PENANAtnleKqGGu8
白色的線都變成灰色,已經髒髒的了,他拿出來時還是小心翼翼。385Please respect copyright.PENANAYJCCNDKzba
385Please respect copyright.PENANATAwIB0Ie1A
「妳看。」他得意。385Please respect copyright.PENANAAWeKhz8y3i
385Please respect copyright.PENANAVOVihDERl5
「虧你能留那麼久,我之前皮包掉了,你的照片也搞丟了…」385Please respect copyright.PENANA2IySdR6Myd
385Please respect copyright.PENANA1UcKkziDoz
「幫我戴新的在手上。」他說。385Please respect copyright.PENANAhFQVERu7au
385Please respect copyright.PENANALDNzXty69s
我一邊把手繩綁上他變得好細的手腕,一邊說著…385Please respect copyright.PENANASZzD0sMcXP
385Please respect copyright.PENANAKSCSutVL09
「我們以前還說要一起合照,但都沒有做到…」385Please respect copyright.PENANA0laVPiw3A9
385Please respect copyright.PENANAJSZgLb77Lf
「現在拍。」385Please respect copyright.PENANAyKpx3gCDfI
385Please respect copyright.PENANAX4duFTyxHf
「啊?」385Please respect copyright.PENANAcam1Dmkb88
385Please respect copyright.PENANA3qiPGAgA2w
「現在就拍啊,妳手機有照相功能吧?」385Please respect copyright.PENANA3GDRkDrZqr
385Please respect copyright.PENANA9OjXc0ZUHU
「有。」我拿出手機,翻開摺疊螢幕,開啟相機功能。385Please respect copyright.PENANAf0ck0nz5Lj
385Please respect copyright.PENANAja2Q0F9gXE
「等一下等一下。」他伸手拿了旁邊的眼鏡戴上。385Please respect copyright.PENANAcOSNa4OphN
385Please respect copyright.PENANAQRvXnxmNvL
「我這樣看起來比較不像流氓吧?」他又在笑。385Please respect copyright.PENANALQAGcvbKrH
385Please respect copyright.PENANA4GAt7J1snl
我笑了,起身貼近床,把頭靠在他臉旁,拿著手機對著我們倆的大頭拍了一張照片。385Please respect copyright.PENANAhmvqyspVAR
385Please respect copyright.PENANA42J4n81qNF
385Please respect copyright.PENANAg7GyT1Yy1c
我坐回椅子上,有那麼一段時間,我們都沒有看著彼此,也沒有說話。385Please respect copyright.PENANAEJEpxRuscW
385Please respect copyright.PENANA9B4MouawRR
「我離婚了。」英傑突然說。
「我被抓後,妳嫂子自己提的。」
「簽字是一定要簽的,拖著她也不對。」385Please respect copyright.PENANA31tjPc0WBV
385Please respect copyright.PENANAEoStDaa307
我想起那個沒有喊過他「爸爸」的兒子,但我沒有勇氣開口問。385Please respect copyright.PENANAolkW2OS6yQ
385Please respect copyright.PENANAFujg9hsDv2
385Please respect copyright.PENANABVqx1wyq4D
「妳還有在寫小說嗎?」385Please respect copyright.PENANACM8xeRdXv9
385Please respect copyright.PENANAtFkTpTowFl
「…有寫一些小故事。」385Please respect copyright.PENANA52mcFW33qp
385Please respect copyright.PENANAqnRz1oKoCw
「那就好,不要隨便放棄喔。」385Please respect copyright.PENANAOhziDuMQD8
385Please respect copyright.PENANAPHqdZy2U27
「嗯。我好久沒看到你寫的詩了。」385Please respect copyright.PENANAlTldqQH9Mv
385Please respect copyright.PENANAHZitPaiHBc
「我太久沒寫字啦…字已經不漂亮,腦子也沒東西了。」385Please respect copyright.PENANA7FULAaXDgI
385Please respect copyright.PENANAxSV0QetzHP
「不會啦,字跡不會隨便改變的。」情感也是。385Please respect copyright.PENANAPgjCib5YSb
385Please respect copyright.PENANA2nELzhu1R6
「妹。」385Please respect copyright.PENANADOudY28GvQ
385Please respect copyright.PENANAimMA6honFi
「嗯?」385Please respect copyright.PENANATI38R9TwED
385Please respect copyright.PENANAzghOjuHyPk
「人真的要走到末路的時候,才知道只有家人會無條件的陪在身邊。」
「所以妳一定要好好珍惜家人,不要交壞朋友,也不要太相信外面的人。」
「也不要抽菸、喝太多酒…」
「如果可以,就回去念書,這個社會還是很看學歷…」385Please respect copyright.PENANAbLhKxSOjgd
385Please respect copyright.PENANAsXdSAfcYM3
我突然意識到他正在做什麼。385Please respect copyright.PENANAGem4EZoo9Q
385Please respect copyright.PENANA8cjIsSqoCo
像是交代後事般的叮嚀,我聽在耳裡,痛在心裡,但我不能阻止他這麼做。385Please respect copyright.PENANAOEOdLIv6eL
385Please respect copyright.PENANAaHBRz41J21
因為我甚至不知道還有沒有下一次見他的機會。385Please respect copyright.PENANA5l5wUg7qBx
385Please respect copyright.PENANAYKanuVGeEy
385Please respect copyright.PENANAmhNuaMTWJY
那天我在醫院陪他直到晚上才離開,他始終笑著,在我面前不表現出痛苦或難過。385Please respect copyright.PENANAIBEejBg5gr
385Please respect copyright.PENANA7PpzeqQub0
他也答應讓我再去看他,只是要先跟他聯絡。385Please respect copyright.PENANAuZKCxdJrw5
385Please respect copyright.PENANAxhkRe60XZi
「我媽有點介意,所以不希望妳們碰到面。」385Please respect copyright.PENANAPbnhXRAXoN
385Please respect copyright.PENANACE8ciX4q4E
爾後我又見了他兩次,其中一次他告訴我,他信了主耶穌。385Please respect copyright.PENANA3yqOYx2LH4
385Please respect copyright.PENANAmAILTAwY8i
我知道是身體病痛的折磨,讓他尋求精神上的慰藉。他親自寫了信給教會的小孩子,用自己的經歷告誡孩子們勿入歧途。385Please respect copyright.PENANATxNhVpvtl0
385Please respect copyright.PENANAZZ6IGnJz3G
我知道他害怕,知道他尋求救贖。385Please respect copyright.PENANAABO5J3KeF2
385Please respect copyright.PENANAP2VGry3LMQ
我知道他就算把地獄或罪人掛在嘴邊,仍是害怕受苦的。385Please respect copyright.PENANAUClpXzG6sS
385Please respect copyright.PENANAeI1TwjcOtk
我知道他也許到了這一刻才開始後悔。385Please respect copyright.PENANAAND7KWrS41
385Please respect copyright.PENANA9Qcfy2Nyih
但我是欣慰的。385Please respect copyright.PENANA2RTYNM5vmJ
385Please respect copyright.PENANAu0ppKN14lJ
385Please respect copyright.PENANArv2Dgu3dBO
385Please respect copyright.PENANA8VJovTOTLD
那一天來的又快又急。385Please respect copyright.PENANA4rOBkxolMF
385Please respect copyright.PENANASWcgSO115t
「妹…」385Please respect copyright.PENANAy21Dnnv4cw
385Please respect copyright.PENANAriueGja1Yh
我接起電話,只聽到英傑喊了我,然後是沉重的喘息與啜泣。385Please respect copyright.PENANAc1Pllr42yZ
385Please respect copyright.PENANAn87GU0fILz
「你怎麼了?怎麼了?」385Please respect copyright.PENANAOdO9i2JAc0
385Please respect copyright.PENANAVLtVI2R2yg
還拿著手機和他說話,我已經起身準備出門去醫院。385Please respect copyright.PENANAjCGLs1eJeO
385Please respect copyright.PENANAkYoLYfNAVw
「我還不想死…」他哭著說。385Please respect copyright.PENANAbIP9wrIxdt
385Please respect copyright.PENANAavtSr3X8b2
那句話狠狠地撕裂了我的胸口。385Please respect copyright.PENANANGl8W0J4qu
385Please respect copyright.PENANA0XQOwVUmjm
385Please respect copyright.PENANAWE4fEgvSix
我跑進病房,英傑似乎剛剛才穩定下來,吊著點滴、眼眶泛紅、面容消瘦,也比上次更加蒼白、手臂上都是青色與紫色的瘀青。385Please respect copyright.PENANAaDic8NcZ4i
385Please respect copyright.PENANAoDuYRDFe3n
他的母親與姐姐看見我,臉色明顯地不自在。385Please respect copyright.PENANAOmza5qaKVv
385Please respect copyright.PENANAqXYEbD5yOA
英傑打那通電話給我的時候,她們是不是也在呢?385Please respect copyright.PENANATvdnaVxJvL
385Please respect copyright.PENANApjkMlU4snQ
她們小聲地和英傑說了幾句話,就走出病房,留給我和他說話的空間。385Please respect copyright.PENANAsCsJsCqYUk
385Please respect copyright.PENANAu1LHGpuPaE
385Please respect copyright.PENANAjCxkWo7Ozg
我坐到上次的位置,握住他的手。385Please respect copyright.PENANAKSIbgukk2Q
385Please respect copyright.PENANAX9EYId4wfn
那雙手已又更瘦更冰冷了。385Please respect copyright.PENANAUi96HIfibN
385Please respect copyright.PENANAHqrRwPYeQa
「我真的,還不想死。」385Please respect copyright.PENANAtJjoPSVINd
385Please respect copyright.PENANAEcdlVWilcb
我握著他的手出了點力。385Please respect copyright.PENANAQc3KCpMQtv
385Please respect copyright.PENANAEqm7SqryzZ
「我很害怕。」385Please respect copyright.PENANAuAncUmNvmW
385Please respect copyright.PENANAqNZg5cefHR
「我很怕死…」385Please respect copyright.PENANAj7ydKDzps6
385Please respect copyright.PENANAUxxtpnL3E7
他沒看著我,只盯著手。說完,他的眼淚就掉下來。385Please respect copyright.PENANAe0ggadOqNO
385Please respect copyright.PENANAVDmobua5YD
那是我第一次看見他掉眼淚,也是最後一次。385Please respect copyright.PENANA5QZT1H6F5O
385Please respect copyright.PENANAzKxeVWjvKn
「你已經悔改了,你一定會去天堂的。」我已經滿臉淚水,但還是看著他的眼睛說。385Please respect copyright.PENANAiz43L6X4JE
385Please respect copyright.PENANA4VWUU7N8hf
「全身都很痛…」他終於抬頭看我。385Please respect copyright.PENANAdWwqkNX4we
385Please respect copyright.PENANAU692bV8MR6
我趕緊抽幾張衛生紙擦他的臉,他的雙頰與眼窩都已經凹陷,我的手盡可能地放輕力道,就怕他疼。385Please respect copyright.PENANANcAoWGYlXj
385Please respect copyright.PENANA3szfDpeCoQ
「你很努力了,我知道你很努力了…」385Please respect copyright.PENANAa1gYF5c9B4
385Please respect copyright.PENANAlca1UwlhMN
我抱住他,驚覺他已弱不禁風的事實。385Please respect copyright.PENANA70jqlmW1dC
385Please respect copyright.PENANAqppaGoINNr
這讓我倏地停止了自己的眼淚。385Please respect copyright.PENANAEUbYbkH8gX
385Please respect copyright.PENANANxrobgpyJc
「沒事的,你的主會帶你離開,之後就不痛苦了。」385Please respect copyright.PENANAnB4CP3TYRS
385Please respect copyright.PENANAundVaxRQAe
英傑在我的臂彎裡哭泣了許久,才安靜下來。385Please respect copyright.PENANAnfPUXO7F9e
385Please respect copyright.PENANAKH0JCU8OyK
385Please respect copyright.PENANAl80v8jcFrE
「妹。」385Please respect copyright.PENANABZTzi8bzPg
385Please respect copyright.PENANAvEp9xREYOB
「嗯?」385Please respect copyright.PENANAb5lYMbNeEJ
385Please respect copyright.PENANAtwFdocgUoJ
「抽屜裡有一封信是給妳的。」385Please respect copyright.PENANAeLqJYm7Lb7
385Please respect copyright.PENANAIVsFMELuZi
我打開抽屜,拿起那個信封。385Please respect copyright.PENANAwN5ZS4Bs1f
385Please respect copyright.PENANAndhW7RUCKY
「回去再看。」385Please respect copyright.PENANA3TAF82TD6Z
385Please respect copyright.PENANA929PS6oqcQ
「好。」我收起信。385Please respect copyright.PENANAnkFMm07cZS
385Please respect copyright.PENANAQU3OyRlsgJ
「妳回去吧。」385Please respect copyright.PENANAOFMJHPdgch
385Please respect copyright.PENANAVBrDTm8vfr
「什麼?」385Please respect copyright.PENANAkl2DLe6AZU
385Please respect copyright.PENANAkcIVkezWZY
「謝謝妳來…可是不要再來了。」385Please respect copyright.PENANA3orpsIweCV
385Please respect copyright.PENANAYJAMG85dJi
「為什麼?」385Please respect copyright.PENANAVMg4taOS1N
385Please respect copyright.PENANAjugXoIs8QQ
「我不想要妳送我離開,妳會很傷心,我也不想要看到妳那麼傷心。」385Please respect copyright.PENANABMIKDrSyW4
385Please respect copyright.PENANAnAY2Ev41yP
「……」385Please respect copyright.PENANATvPPxsGpzf
385Please respect copyright.PENANAt5I5FtXyzC
「回去吧。」385Please respect copyright.PENANAEAPdXoz5dc
385Please respect copyright.PENANAkOnuWFR94I
他看著我,又對我笑了,那個笑看起來很費勁,也是他一直以來對我的溫柔表現。385Please respect copyright.PENANALJApsemTC4
385Please respect copyright.PENANAR3ga1Zykpu
不讓我送他走,也是哥哥對妹妹的溫柔。385Please respect copyright.PENANAnyOZ8sNsCM
385Please respect copyright.PENANAPF6Qp3LlAq
我又抱了抱他才離開。385Please respect copyright.PENANA04CYa0ji3Q
385Please respect copyright.PENANAXP1yUaH7rH
385Please respect copyright.PENANALczDnEyHJM
當天晚上十點多,我收到他姊姊的簡訊。385Please respect copyright.PENANAev9d5CTGPe
385Please respect copyright.PENANAhoapB2E3U0
「英傑已經走了。」385Please respect copyright.PENANAJLlIpVDiLV
385Please respect copyright.PENANAgIUam3etj4
385Please respect copyright.PENANAi2xu2rTGPM
那一瞬間我向心裡所有知道的神祈求,希望英傑能到更好的地方,希望他不要再受苦了。385Please respect copyright.PENANAzkKtwlqMdm
385Please respect copyright.PENANAWiOTGGhg6k
我打開信封,裡面只有一張書籤大的紙。385Please respect copyright.PENANABHF1uVHbtI
385Please respect copyright.PENANA2up6wkRsvh
385Please respect copyright.PENANAiDaAZOs2zb
「Dear 妹:」385Please respect copyright.PENANAfjGSEEA6PY
385Please respect copyright.PENANAODavZE9DSU
「妳永遠是我的天使,385Please respect copyright.PENANATNlwFhiNdh
385Please respect copyright.PENANA4YW7Y540Az
請不要忘記我。」385Please respect copyright.PENANA9Dbdac7BzX
385Please respect copyright.PENANAyrhgZaCQ8R
「哥 英傑」385Please respect copyright.PENANAr9WqY5GM72
385Please respect copyright.PENANAD81SGZ8pkV
385Please respect copyright.PENANArIXJxIxoHi
我抱著自己,放任自己哭到睡著。385Please respect copyright.PENANADs2Ccl7tRN
385Please respect copyright.PENANAYvuM80YS1N
385Please respect copyright.PENANAY1JJRt5iFP
385Please respect copyright.PENANAZZ4qq4XCSv
之後的每一年,我不選在英傑的忌日,而是在他的冥誕當天悼念他。385Please respect copyright.PENANAOoH7M29QCV
385Please respect copyright.PENANA0RSuRM2i6c
每一年的五月三十,我都會寫一封信,表達我的思念,讓他知道「我沒有忘記他」。385Please respect copyright.PENANAXPmdpncCVA
385Please respect copyright.PENANAWIVCIOWuoH
前幾年每到這天,我總是哭,總是放任自己因為想念而哭得泣不成聲。385Please respect copyright.PENANAJcXQr5C4AT
385Please respect copyright.PENANAIYFCWIGEtd
後來的後來,我漸漸不哭了,但沒有改變在這一天寫信的習慣。385Please respect copyright.PENANABPQXmrr4Jl
385Please respect copyright.PENANAHcPRyGSLlT
英傑的回憶有時像巨石背在背上,有時像羽毛沾在胸口,無論哪一種,都是無法遺棄。385Please respect copyright.PENANAHW60fMcJIm
385Please respect copyright.PENANAkaFKFcVpfj
他走後,我便不再輕易評論一個人的好與壞。385Please respect copyright.PENANA7DF8818ru7
385Please respect copyright.PENANAiVT6zClUNn
曾經我在英傑的新聞底下看見很多網友的謾罵、抨擊甚至是汙辱,我感到憤怒與心痛,想一個一個回應他們「你們什麼都不知道!」385Please respect copyright.PENANAqvYbF7fKAa
385Please respect copyright.PENANANsdHPUlH2h
但我什麼也沒做。385Please respect copyright.PENANAXWlNMv793G
385Please respect copyright.PENANAunfRP8qzyv
因為那些人不認識他,也永遠不會認識他。385Please respect copyright.PENANAGQXLSx3bx2
385Please respect copyright.PENANAq3AlbvgAkQ
所以我再也不對任何新聞或社會事件做評論。因為我知道,我不認識當事人,更不能體會當事人的親屬心情。385Please respect copyright.PENANAiheZMHoPvh
385Please respect copyright.PENANAGlSkhoWpvS
我回去念書,考進了大學,年年以取得獎學金為目標,只為不要白學。385Please respect copyright.PENANAFpUOy4QZ4u
385Please respect copyright.PENANAOu0k2LSNHD
一直沒有放棄創作,可能也是因為惦記著他說過的話。385Please respect copyright.PENANAIbdghhOD7d
385Please respect copyright.PENANAwbMIEMeXhP
說起遺憾,大概是我喊他「英傑」比喊他「哥哥」的次數要多更多了吧。385Please respect copyright.PENANAFbuXf9x34F
385Please respect copyright.PENANAviv0CEmwV2
385Please respect copyright.PENANA8T9IhIcHCz
去年,我沒有寫信。385Please respect copyright.PENANAZwL5PocKRN
385Please respect copyright.PENANAB4OxKooCKn
我選擇在當天完成他的故事。385Please respect copyright.PENANAPy0kxUXzlv
385Please respect copyright.PENANA3GmHgFG2QK
他是一隻孤傲的鷹,獨自在天空闖蕩,受盡風霜,最後回巢,在家人身邊闔上眼。385Please respect copyright.PENANA8NM4FPdC1B
385Please respect copyright.PENANAcwQ1Jgxjf8
我是活在地面的狼,只能抬頭望著,用我的爪在沙上畫下他在天空翱翔的姿態。385Please respect copyright.PENANADwLSlJVoKd
385Please respect copyright.PENANARexk0iqi0r
385Please respect copyright.PENANAI9BLcjXaYf
這是,我哥哥的故事。385Please respect copyright.PENANAllzP3hIej4
385Please respect copyright.PENANADT1w4DLlSG
385Please respect copyright.PENANA7oJOVlvL1r
385Please respect copyright.PENANAX8rxAJFGup
完。
ns 172.70.100.72da2