等我能見到他時,又過了一個月。390Please respect copyright.PENANAFQ3oAGCiyJ
390Please respect copyright.PENANAoP4jJbw4RY
深呼吸了好幾口氣,練習了幾次微笑,我才踏進病房。390Please respect copyright.PENANAIqWK4LbuWp
390Please respect copyright.PENANAdPp1EZiGtg
他盯著我走近,待我在床前站定,見我微微一笑,他便咧開嘴笑了。390Please respect copyright.PENANAcrA0piLvC4
390Please respect copyright.PENANAhFn0yTAMek
「我妹怎麼變這麼漂亮啦?」390Please respect copyright.PENANAsGUrXqPVSs
390Please respect copyright.PENANAAsLHGWOAHY
我沒理會他的玩笑,只是看著臉色蒼白的他,當下覺得自己的微笑只是一道不讓自己哭出來的防線。390Please respect copyright.PENANAhGCNKzpweT
390Please respect copyright.PENANAwM7dclyJ5L
我查過他的病,既然已到末期,治癒機率已經極低,幾乎是零。也知道他會長期處在各種疼痛裡。390Please respect copyright.PENANAIMhnxyzpIc
390Please respect copyright.PENANAyxNr0bErhD
所以我無法開口問他還好嗎,也沒辦法要他振作,更不能祝福他康復。390Please respect copyright.PENANAsg4JGnjzka
390Please respect copyright.PENANAWHYQzo5Cb0
只是他仍然對著我笑,笑得那麼真。390Please respect copyright.PENANAFq06YP2I1w
390Please respect copyright.PENANAWYya8pQyES
「幹嘛傻在那裡,過來這邊坐啊。」他指指床邊的椅子。390Please respect copyright.PENANAv86yu7EFqG
390Please respect copyright.PENANAHEtx1swIZR
我走過去,把椅子拉近病床,坐下。390Please respect copyright.PENANAXnxbsuZLzF
390Please respect copyright.PENANAgUeiOkd83o
我們幾乎是同時伸出雙手的。390Please respect copyright.PENANAvyOsNmLooU
390Please respect copyright.PENANA3xqtDCmIlE
碰到他的手時,我的鼻子就酸了,眼睛也模糊了。390Please respect copyright.PENANAwW35E9Jnxb
390Please respect copyright.PENANAri6tIURCO3
「不是答應我不哭了嗎?」那句話有著溫柔的指責。390Please respect copyright.PENANAzOqhAiGNgM
390Please respect copyright.PENANACC6XLDCEJl
390Please respect copyright.PENANAnbqTV3DwAy
「現在有沒有哪裡會痛…?」我開口問。390Please respect copyright.PENANAnCwx6WkzkO
390Please respect copyright.PENANAKKLmKXRLdT
「每天都在痛啊,肚子也痛、頭也痛,骨頭也都會痛…」390Please respect copyright.PENANAtXZgQayFi4
390Please respect copyright.PENANAkrduz04qut
他數家珍地說出,而我的眉頭也因此糾結。390Please respect copyright.PENANAEinH2B7NdD
390Please respect copyright.PENANAM3bfImNywI
「現在不痛啦,看到妳都不痛啦。」見我皺眉,他胡亂地撒謊。390Please respect copyright.PENANA2SCJyNe9fr
390Please respect copyright.PENANAhDLevNaHuw
我揉著他的手,好像有很多話要說,但又覺得沒什麼好說。390Please respect copyright.PENANAuOcxDyJBwF
390Please respect copyright.PENANAOlWFnWXxWP
「爸…妳爸爸,有說什麼嗎?他知道嗎?」390Please respect copyright.PENANA2RxV6oxAM1
390Please respect copyright.PENANAFQXchh1X97
我愣了一下,沒想到他會問這個問題。390Please respect copyright.PENANAUs9Au7gbY9
390Please respect copyright.PENANAg3yTcHJAMI
「他應該知道,但他沒跟我說什麼…」390Please respect copyright.PENANACBJHPUE5BY
390Please respect copyright.PENANAili0lLxvPU
「是嗎…我想也是啦。問問而已,妳不要多想。」390Please respect copyright.PENANA1okksRinWM
390Please respect copyright.PENANAKleHLVx4kc
那一瞬間,我覺得父親的無情是無法被原諒的。390Please respect copyright.PENANAm92LP0CbR7
390Please respect copyright.PENANAKen1mzDlDd
390Please respect copyright.PENANAu4BJuXrVGN
我拿出那晚編好的手繩,放到他手裡。390Please respect copyright.PENANAnjVhhrC4t3
390Please respect copyright.PENANAYxXvxIrhCD
「這是新編的。」390Please respect copyright.PENANAxa0xFFReWJ
390Please respect copyright.PENANALxfK4GN5AE
他看了看手繩,又看看我。390Please respect copyright.PENANA1OXIPg0mK6
390Please respect copyright.PENANA9QYpP78GDN
「妳幫我拿櫃子裡的皮夾出來。」390Please respect copyright.PENANAIMZQmBxyGZ
390Please respect copyright.PENANAQPJirPFK02
我把皮夾遞給他,他從皮夾裡拿出了…好幾年前的那條幸運手繩。390Please respect copyright.PENANAexeuIeLqQC
390Please respect copyright.PENANA774QemAD2g
白色的線都變成灰色,已經髒髒的了,他拿出來時還是小心翼翼。390Please respect copyright.PENANAXgdceDgNwx
390Please respect copyright.PENANAsTRwyg8w4f
「妳看。」他得意。390Please respect copyright.PENANAaLLzqHHgYS
390Please respect copyright.PENANAfvibjTI5GO
「虧你能留那麼久,我之前皮包掉了,你的照片也搞丟了…」390Please respect copyright.PENANAqVxGgsxrlN
390Please respect copyright.PENANAchanToMA4w
「幫我戴新的在手上。」他說。390Please respect copyright.PENANABOPi9oEOut
390Please respect copyright.PENANAM2coMM8Gul
我一邊把手繩綁上他變得好細的手腕,一邊說著…390Please respect copyright.PENANASk4ZAD927a
390Please respect copyright.PENANAgdKuOdfTae
「我們以前還說要一起合照,但都沒有做到…」390Please respect copyright.PENANAjQAIgi1B5A
390Please respect copyright.PENANAEaryz1deq6
「現在拍。」390Please respect copyright.PENANAJyxzeEx7WG
390Please respect copyright.PENANAyGK1vaMCkB
「啊?」390Please respect copyright.PENANAstcKcIDP40
390Please respect copyright.PENANA4PyTXHfP6h
「現在就拍啊,妳手機有照相功能吧?」390Please respect copyright.PENANAeYrNtzahEK
390Please respect copyright.PENANAqYKxTbyZeT
「有。」我拿出手機,翻開摺疊螢幕,開啟相機功能。390Please respect copyright.PENANASkhK5ka8S3
390Please respect copyright.PENANA61Q7I4ePmb
「等一下等一下。」他伸手拿了旁邊的眼鏡戴上。390Please respect copyright.PENANAhdvWgAU7tv
390Please respect copyright.PENANAs5DIfFw7pN
「我這樣看起來比較不像流氓吧?」他又在笑。390Please respect copyright.PENANA7znCwTBMah
390Please respect copyright.PENANA4VGCR1WL4w
我笑了,起身貼近床,把頭靠在他臉旁,拿著手機對著我們倆的大頭拍了一張照片。390Please respect copyright.PENANAZPpyVxc5wr
390Please respect copyright.PENANAhoriLm83Hu
390Please respect copyright.PENANANHhTyysh1P
我坐回椅子上,有那麼一段時間,我們都沒有看著彼此,也沒有說話。390Please respect copyright.PENANAQFE145V26t
390Please respect copyright.PENANANoiQt2rhmN
「我離婚了。」英傑突然說。
「我被抓後,妳嫂子自己提的。」
「簽字是一定要簽的,拖著她也不對。」390Please respect copyright.PENANADE6r8TqFVL
390Please respect copyright.PENANAQnAcMvQg4Y
我想起那個沒有喊過他「爸爸」的兒子,但我沒有勇氣開口問。390Please respect copyright.PENANABb0bsY0go6
390Please respect copyright.PENANA8OPxCd7XU9
390Please respect copyright.PENANAN0Ms0rnDHg
「妳還有在寫小說嗎?」390Please respect copyright.PENANAF5jBtWG7Fp
390Please respect copyright.PENANAmtx7iaUA9W
「…有寫一些小故事。」390Please respect copyright.PENANASJyvFivRNj
390Please respect copyright.PENANAuPEVymAAVL
「那就好,不要隨便放棄喔。」390Please respect copyright.PENANAdDncg8wWft
390Please respect copyright.PENANAmCWcwbLwMA
「嗯。我好久沒看到你寫的詩了。」390Please respect copyright.PENANAqdGMVaWmrt
390Please respect copyright.PENANAuvulrCns3Z
「我太久沒寫字啦…字已經不漂亮,腦子也沒東西了。」390Please respect copyright.PENANAQtZP5QoACl
390Please respect copyright.PENANAX2SHfLImZA
「不會啦,字跡不會隨便改變的。」情感也是。390Please respect copyright.PENANArd9o8HxIgZ
390Please respect copyright.PENANAqKepuUmhBR
「妹。」390Please respect copyright.PENANAxKztm6pJl0
390Please respect copyright.PENANAPeFAMTmfdW
「嗯?」390Please respect copyright.PENANABLT0PJDGB1
390Please respect copyright.PENANAqoGDqzAmUw
「人真的要走到末路的時候,才知道只有家人會無條件的陪在身邊。」
「所以妳一定要好好珍惜家人,不要交壞朋友,也不要太相信外面的人。」
「也不要抽菸、喝太多酒…」
「如果可以,就回去念書,這個社會還是很看學歷…」390Please respect copyright.PENANADOcF4FdcRp
390Please respect copyright.PENANAg7VxjXTOKY
我突然意識到他正在做什麼。390Please respect copyright.PENANAlybU9Bjuz8
390Please respect copyright.PENANAwicISEvfbY
像是交代後事般的叮嚀,我聽在耳裡,痛在心裡,但我不能阻止他這麼做。390Please respect copyright.PENANAbjAdT8HTLa
390Please respect copyright.PENANAklzGAH1BD1
因為我甚至不知道還有沒有下一次見他的機會。390Please respect copyright.PENANAzPGVMfp7XW
390Please respect copyright.PENANAgjxtRUoLil
390Please respect copyright.PENANAO4CK7zxvwi
那天我在醫院陪他直到晚上才離開,他始終笑著,在我面前不表現出痛苦或難過。390Please respect copyright.PENANAEhRlduPPw9
390Please respect copyright.PENANAxmPT7Ymsbr
他也答應讓我再去看他,只是要先跟他聯絡。390Please respect copyright.PENANAp0KpILfTYw
390Please respect copyright.PENANAKyPNv3qN8D
「我媽有點介意,所以不希望妳們碰到面。」390Please respect copyright.PENANAuKiLbBzPkE
390Please respect copyright.PENANArhdI41jqRz
爾後我又見了他兩次,其中一次他告訴我,他信了主耶穌。390Please respect copyright.PENANAzl1DQC4Fq2
390Please respect copyright.PENANAzd9H4kU3KH
我知道是身體病痛的折磨,讓他尋求精神上的慰藉。他親自寫了信給教會的小孩子,用自己的經歷告誡孩子們勿入歧途。390Please respect copyright.PENANAKjve31D8J2
390Please respect copyright.PENANAGr48Ng6C0O
我知道他害怕,知道他尋求救贖。390Please respect copyright.PENANAZMiijbvKtS
390Please respect copyright.PENANA045luRFHBy
我知道他就算把地獄或罪人掛在嘴邊,仍是害怕受苦的。390Please respect copyright.PENANAKu02d0M9XC
390Please respect copyright.PENANAYBkM3MVkze
我知道他也許到了這一刻才開始後悔。390Please respect copyright.PENANAX5RcDLjzC3
390Please respect copyright.PENANAeJtgXIDjm3
但我是欣慰的。390Please respect copyright.PENANAvqsh3A3yhu
390Please respect copyright.PENANAUZ4jbeE90H
390Please respect copyright.PENANAuTdbdWCQcV
390Please respect copyright.PENANAd6LipslSvC
那一天來的又快又急。390Please respect copyright.PENANAdsED9TgYOl
390Please respect copyright.PENANAd61FuyyYty
「妹…」390Please respect copyright.PENANAWiZ0neL55K
390Please respect copyright.PENANAXQNFDoD0xa
我接起電話,只聽到英傑喊了我,然後是沉重的喘息與啜泣。390Please respect copyright.PENANAqnqhLdCecB
390Please respect copyright.PENANAKFWGJyjAe6
「你怎麼了?怎麼了?」390Please respect copyright.PENANA1xmXcxrkdq
390Please respect copyright.PENANA1Z3QqvXGFV
還拿著手機和他說話,我已經起身準備出門去醫院。390Please respect copyright.PENANAOHrUl3fkdk
390Please respect copyright.PENANArW4qRfNYsY
「我還不想死…」他哭著說。390Please respect copyright.PENANAhoU3vawdgT
390Please respect copyright.PENANAGVHkEoRjAF
那句話狠狠地撕裂了我的胸口。390Please respect copyright.PENANA17fSxp23fg
390Please respect copyright.PENANAWC1PnjtAGA
390Please respect copyright.PENANAJkIyh4uzLb
我跑進病房,英傑似乎剛剛才穩定下來,吊著點滴、眼眶泛紅、面容消瘦,也比上次更加蒼白、手臂上都是青色與紫色的瘀青。390Please respect copyright.PENANAPjeXtP55Zf
390Please respect copyright.PENANAoJ51JnzNMh
他的母親與姐姐看見我,臉色明顯地不自在。390Please respect copyright.PENANA7N9RFAFCS5
390Please respect copyright.PENANAT9mucVMgWC
英傑打那通電話給我的時候,她們是不是也在呢?390Please respect copyright.PENANANRkmwxNBg7
390Please respect copyright.PENANAfp35jrptNz
她們小聲地和英傑說了幾句話,就走出病房,留給我和他說話的空間。390Please respect copyright.PENANAOVkcqbHSVG
390Please respect copyright.PENANAnqoLStoPcM
390Please respect copyright.PENANAQdmVin5xot
我坐到上次的位置,握住他的手。390Please respect copyright.PENANAL4oAJNRWkA
390Please respect copyright.PENANAIOcx5FUzfa
那雙手已又更瘦更冰冷了。390Please respect copyright.PENANAU4pNz7l94t
390Please respect copyright.PENANAnOtMyCCMQe
「我真的,還不想死。」390Please respect copyright.PENANAdpW55st3Sw
390Please respect copyright.PENANAP4RBDpNRkc
我握著他的手出了點力。390Please respect copyright.PENANA22yNpnikZj
390Please respect copyright.PENANAgKirBcPTxo
「我很害怕。」390Please respect copyright.PENANAXWIulcby7k
390Please respect copyright.PENANANmu3ox6L25
「我很怕死…」390Please respect copyright.PENANAgk6k6SgQiw
390Please respect copyright.PENANAedNbQaFpbv
他沒看著我,只盯著手。說完,他的眼淚就掉下來。390Please respect copyright.PENANABAubyNzAn0
390Please respect copyright.PENANAuMhqSTBFUT
那是我第一次看見他掉眼淚,也是最後一次。390Please respect copyright.PENANA1WPvGfqjgZ
390Please respect copyright.PENANAPSucnnL25Z
「你已經悔改了,你一定會去天堂的。」我已經滿臉淚水,但還是看著他的眼睛說。390Please respect copyright.PENANAhXbe45B4dj
390Please respect copyright.PENANAbucytxacY1
「全身都很痛…」他終於抬頭看我。390Please respect copyright.PENANAB4k8CXteLv
390Please respect copyright.PENANAGcGKVCW4gK
我趕緊抽幾張衛生紙擦他的臉,他的雙頰與眼窩都已經凹陷,我的手盡可能地放輕力道,就怕他疼。390Please respect copyright.PENANA3UY63mFz5Q
390Please respect copyright.PENANAipLFGCR2mu
「你很努力了,我知道你很努力了…」390Please respect copyright.PENANAr8tLHTIoXN
390Please respect copyright.PENANAhiwrIs3JfZ
我抱住他,驚覺他已弱不禁風的事實。390Please respect copyright.PENANA1LZjRg4rbn
390Please respect copyright.PENANAiCOqN9YyQ3
這讓我倏地停止了自己的眼淚。390Please respect copyright.PENANAToLxQl5ula
390Please respect copyright.PENANAnWPUspVjvh
「沒事的,你的主會帶你離開,之後就不痛苦了。」390Please respect copyright.PENANAwX9kzl34qn
390Please respect copyright.PENANAIJpvx6O0dK
英傑在我的臂彎裡哭泣了許久,才安靜下來。390Please respect copyright.PENANAdDJFNkmQ8r
390Please respect copyright.PENANArTVtGZT1NV
390Please respect copyright.PENANADiD5hCl55y
「妹。」390Please respect copyright.PENANAMJAWr4R3VX
390Please respect copyright.PENANA6GAU7mJgMB
「嗯?」390Please respect copyright.PENANAf4B6NxALdA
390Please respect copyright.PENANAropNp1ImeA
「抽屜裡有一封信是給妳的。」390Please respect copyright.PENANASEX2lVKf4l
390Please respect copyright.PENANAm8JzeCbaT5
我打開抽屜,拿起那個信封。390Please respect copyright.PENANAJr7E9M3vix
390Please respect copyright.PENANA9sQSIQzZnQ
「回去再看。」390Please respect copyright.PENANAG2FtO5DQ2G
390Please respect copyright.PENANArnrlY49DNh
「好。」我收起信。390Please respect copyright.PENANAQaYTdA6DHt
390Please respect copyright.PENANAf5YARUXFm8
「妳回去吧。」390Please respect copyright.PENANAbl8MBfZhtr
390Please respect copyright.PENANAuPbPUPUWe0
「什麼?」390Please respect copyright.PENANA3Soua3PAti
390Please respect copyright.PENANACfx8trtU8l
「謝謝妳來…可是不要再來了。」390Please respect copyright.PENANANgyr1H7s1R
390Please respect copyright.PENANA6h6IiRWfQJ
「為什麼?」390Please respect copyright.PENANAlV8fZOC32I
390Please respect copyright.PENANAz1ZPUxN6jO
「我不想要妳送我離開,妳會很傷心,我也不想要看到妳那麼傷心。」390Please respect copyright.PENANATFuUHq8pjk
390Please respect copyright.PENANAw9bV4zL8wk
「……」390Please respect copyright.PENANAO5NasoxIhm
390Please respect copyright.PENANASaius7UwMK
「回去吧。」390Please respect copyright.PENANA5Ft8Zev8XS
390Please respect copyright.PENANAUuXaVLlPIS
他看著我,又對我笑了,那個笑看起來很費勁,也是他一直以來對我的溫柔表現。390Please respect copyright.PENANA8q4vuuxPAe
390Please respect copyright.PENANAfyb3CVtTSx
不讓我送他走,也是哥哥對妹妹的溫柔。390Please respect copyright.PENANA8rC7yP7guA
390Please respect copyright.PENANARREbz8AvDQ
我又抱了抱他才離開。390Please respect copyright.PENANAsdbcuJIOsl
390Please respect copyright.PENANAApm4uHeHnJ
390Please respect copyright.PENANAkgQh4JqHRW
當天晚上十點多,我收到他姊姊的簡訊。390Please respect copyright.PENANAVUphn7DY1L
390Please respect copyright.PENANAXKRY1nojmL
「英傑已經走了。」390Please respect copyright.PENANAuXbfl5VyEN
390Please respect copyright.PENANAqRaXWi51hE
390Please respect copyright.PENANAvELw4pjVo7
那一瞬間我向心裡所有知道的神祈求,希望英傑能到更好的地方,希望他不要再受苦了。390Please respect copyright.PENANAsmLVDqMy2W
390Please respect copyright.PENANAIKkpblzgp3
我打開信封,裡面只有一張書籤大的紙。390Please respect copyright.PENANA7Ig56oGeID
390Please respect copyright.PENANAkgCtPMzwsd
390Please respect copyright.PENANAo1EcYSi1oe
「Dear 妹:」390Please respect copyright.PENANA8OopvwIJ8W
390Please respect copyright.PENANA7tW1oTfxje
「妳永遠是我的天使,390Please respect copyright.PENANAe6K6mo6iOd
390Please respect copyright.PENANAsJRIlWzz0I
請不要忘記我。」390Please respect copyright.PENANA8OX5EiMeGL
390Please respect copyright.PENANADXX5X7Ve2x
「哥 英傑」390Please respect copyright.PENANAXXbnDBZFQ2
390Please respect copyright.PENANAyD8HOu5oa3
390Please respect copyright.PENANANmIqHxPFpy
我抱著自己,放任自己哭到睡著。390Please respect copyright.PENANACRg7BpHh17
390Please respect copyright.PENANA7EkEC9p15Y
390Please respect copyright.PENANAiq0GVZr4OK
390Please respect copyright.PENANAZkghrjIwKj
之後的每一年,我不選在英傑的忌日,而是在他的冥誕當天悼念他。390Please respect copyright.PENANAxh9O2S8UKL
390Please respect copyright.PENANA6VrGaeoVJS
每一年的五月三十,我都會寫一封信,表達我的思念,讓他知道「我沒有忘記他」。390Please respect copyright.PENANAH4zwUDkLKN
390Please respect copyright.PENANAKfewnAboia
前幾年每到這天,我總是哭,總是放任自己因為想念而哭得泣不成聲。390Please respect copyright.PENANAP1SJqlMubf
390Please respect copyright.PENANAw21Vcu0kJ6
後來的後來,我漸漸不哭了,但沒有改變在這一天寫信的習慣。390Please respect copyright.PENANAEGanEUEgJy
390Please respect copyright.PENANAzLNydn4pxw
英傑的回憶有時像巨石背在背上,有時像羽毛沾在胸口,無論哪一種,都是無法遺棄。390Please respect copyright.PENANAozcPwpmwVX
390Please respect copyright.PENANA6oYBfdv5Oq
他走後,我便不再輕易評論一個人的好與壞。390Please respect copyright.PENANAwS32ITFJLZ
390Please respect copyright.PENANAMaWuwCGSoK
曾經我在英傑的新聞底下看見很多網友的謾罵、抨擊甚至是汙辱,我感到憤怒與心痛,想一個一個回應他們「你們什麼都不知道!」390Please respect copyright.PENANA0cDSzz2nJK
390Please respect copyright.PENANA2WlkHRaPKE
但我什麼也沒做。390Please respect copyright.PENANAn5v40HLv1G
390Please respect copyright.PENANAiDe6fPpdie
因為那些人不認識他,也永遠不會認識他。390Please respect copyright.PENANAIddZOLLxCM
390Please respect copyright.PENANAlLjfBesmLi
所以我再也不對任何新聞或社會事件做評論。因為我知道,我不認識當事人,更不能體會當事人的親屬心情。390Please respect copyright.PENANAS6ti1u9QD7
390Please respect copyright.PENANAZJ4HA6rqlG
我回去念書,考進了大學,年年以取得獎學金為目標,只為不要白學。390Please respect copyright.PENANAg3Xyj34OTC
390Please respect copyright.PENANAzpksVYFaYa
一直沒有放棄創作,可能也是因為惦記著他說過的話。390Please respect copyright.PENANAIP1WS0cnJN
390Please respect copyright.PENANANBPiuQZ7ch
說起遺憾,大概是我喊他「英傑」比喊他「哥哥」的次數要多更多了吧。390Please respect copyright.PENANAGKx8Yq30L0
390Please respect copyright.PENANAtU8oUxiT1T
390Please respect copyright.PENANAd8YuMi8jif
去年,我沒有寫信。390Please respect copyright.PENANAt26W8GPT5n
390Please respect copyright.PENANAFUITHL7DT8
我選擇在當天完成他的故事。390Please respect copyright.PENANANyNmcbPiiO
390Please respect copyright.PENANADGCaLriK2W
他是一隻孤傲的鷹,獨自在天空闖蕩,受盡風霜,最後回巢,在家人身邊闔上眼。390Please respect copyright.PENANATYi4HCMbCy
390Please respect copyright.PENANAnQx4XJmPSL
我是活在地面的狼,只能抬頭望著,用我的爪在沙上畫下他在天空翱翔的姿態。390Please respect copyright.PENANAbE0Otloxqa
390Please respect copyright.PENANAy4yV5sCAIB
390Please respect copyright.PENANAZjUyyPFRaz
這是,我哥哥的故事。390Please respect copyright.PENANAfp7hk5KVhI
390Please respect copyright.PENANAi2mWNtGsek
390Please respect copyright.PENANAPhAIJCurjo
390Please respect copyright.PENANA7EISiftfcw
完。
ns 172.70.178.17da2