Revision: Anxiety!Dark
P.O.V: First Person
(A/N: Before reading this, if you don’t know anything regarding this song, please take note that it details many aspects of depression and suicidal thoughts and behaviour. This chapter and hopefully this chapter only will contain such as well. If you are okay with this, do enjoy.)
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There was a boy I met in kindergarten
My head hurts...
He was sweet, he said that I was smart
Another visit from Dr.Panic and Nurse Anxiety.
He was good at sports and people liked him
I miss him,
And at nap time once we shared a mat
I miss the old days:
I didn't sleep I sat and watched him breathing
When we’d stay up till Dawn just fooling around,
Watched and dreamed for nearly half an hour
I miss those times,
Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
But it was all a fantasy, a dream, a SICK nightmare.
Then he woke up
I dont know whether to be happy or sad that I woke up.
535Please respect copyright.PENANAcGJVTt3RwU
He pulled a scab off one time playing kick ball
Bumps and lines of dark, velvete maroon decorate my wrists like a christmas tree.
Kissed me quick then pressed it in my hand
It hurts but I dont say a word.
I took that scab and put it in a locket
I let my hair down, jagged strands and uneven chunks dangle and flow in the cold night wind.
All year long I wore it near my heart
My heart sobs with an agonizing stinging.
He didn't care if I was thin or pretty
Screaming at me to just end it.
And he was mine until we hit first grade
But I just let a tiresome sleep consume me,
Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
Falling into the same nightmare again...
Then he woke up
But I cant escape reality.
535Please respect copyright.PENANAdEKrtlZaw4
Last night I dreamed a horse with wings
Mascara drizzle down my eyes in hopes of a rebirth from their black and sorrowful stain.
Flew down into my home roomOn its back there he sat
I shakily toss circles and ovals in my mouth, generous amounts.
And he held out his arm535Please respect copyright.PENANAIrHyrDY178
So we sailed above the gym
Suddenly my hands stop shaking and Im back on my feet.
Across the faculty parking lot535Please respect copyright.PENANA5MyFzQ9AEv
My kindergarten boyfriend and I535Please respect copyright.PENANA6d5PbkGEYR
And a horse with wings
My heart high on today’s ‘breakfast’.
535Please respect copyright.PENANAxgwNLOMi1C
Now we're all grown up and we know better
I just want to get it all out...
Now we recognize the way things are
But...
Certain boys are just for kindergarten535Please respect copyright.PENANAuGzi0LCLhX
Certain girls are meant to be alone
I guess Im all alone..
But I believe any dream worth having535Please respect copyright.PENANAGu3SjasMlX
So today's the day.535Please respect copyright.PENANAQKXnGLCR1e
Is a dream that should not have to end535Please respect copyright.PENANAtPAt6bFRTL
So I'll build a dream that I can live in535Please respect copyright.PENANAEgpGP0PF71
I sigh heavily, holding my arms out in despair.535Please respect copyright.PENANAZJ8Q0kwNhy
And this time I'm never waking up535Please respect copyright.PENANAkV7RqftGqs
My body swings dangerously, 535Please respect copyright.PENANAYy6OXpsnj7
And we'll soar above the trees535Please respect copyright.PENANAk5e28P6UEK
Back and forth..535Please respect copyright.PENANAJSqHSdh3bU
Over cars and croquet lawns535Please respect copyright.PENANAw3f5ZEXVH2
Back...and...forth...535Please respect copyright.PENANA4KYXNOePro
Past the church and the lake535Please respect copyright.PENANA88SE5LOmeL
And the try-county mall
Suddenly, a new found fear dissolves into my dangerously unstable mind.
We will fly through the dawn535Please respect copyright.PENANAAPh47Gz7BH
To a new kindergarten
I shake it off, tears blurring my vision;
Where nap time is centuries long
Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
I let myself fall forward...
Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh535Please respect copyright.PENANAxjLwSyFsCF
Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
The thumps echo up the stairs, Soon falling in sync of the throbbing headache I have.
Ooh ooh
”NO!! DONT!” Wait—!
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