夕陽晒到老街啲磚牆金黃金黃咁,空氣入面飄住街坊煮飯嘅油煙香,夾雜住路邊糖水舖啱啱煲好嘅綠豆沙甜味。
11Please respect copyright.PENANAJmMhgbF06f
我推住嗰架陪咗我幾年嘅單車,鏈條發出輕微而規律嘅沙沙聲。單車後座上面,坐住陳詠賢。
11Please respect copyright.PENANAF09a6bIYaF
呢條路我哋行過無數次,由小學時佢扯住我個書包帶,到而家中學放學時佢安安靜靜咁坐喺我車尾。街坊鄰居見親,總會笑呵呵咁打趣:「浩然又車住詠賢返屋企呀?真係金童玉女咁。」每逢呢個時候,我通常會傻笑兩聲,捽吓啲頭髮掩飾心裏面嘅慌亂;而坐喺後座嘅佢,就會將塊臉輕輕貼喺我背脊上面,雙手環過我條腰,用嗰種可以將周圍一切寒冷凍結嘅冰冷目光,淡淡咁掃一眼啲起鬨嘅街坊。
11Please respect copyright.PENANAc9oAEKWDTP
當然,嗰種冰冷只係對外人。當佢將塊臉貼喺我背脊上面嗰陣,隔住嗰層校服布料傳過嚟嘅體溫,係軟到令人心都震。
11Please respect copyright.PENANAIdXYgLMrxT
全校都知道,陳詠賢係嚿生人勿近嘅極地冰山。嗰啲唔知死活嘅外校男仔或者同校富二代,送嚟嘅情書過唔到夜就會變成垃圾桶入面嘅廢紙;甚至有個平日趾高氣揚嘅優異生,只係試吓喺走廊同佢講多兩句說話,就換嚟佢一句毫無情緒起伏嘅「躝開」,然後連眼尾都唔屑掃對方一下。
11Please respect copyright.PENANAqOon3DNU1d
可是,只要一轉身面對我,佢連講嘢嘅語調都會不自覺咁放軟,甚至會帶住少少嬌嗔。
11Please respect copyright.PENANAiydefBy9bT
呢種極致嘅雙標,外人覺得恐怖,但喺我眼入面卻成咗世界上最珍貴嘅毒藥。我明知係毒,但照飲。
11Please respect copyright.PENANAFbZw6UdyiZ
「浩然。」佢清脆嘅聲音由身後傳嚟,打斷咗我嘅胡思亂想。
11Please respect copyright.PENANAKswiblV7Dz
「嗯?點解呀?係咪肚餓想食糖水?」我連忙放慢車速,側過頭問。
11Please respect copyright.PENANAHBjtRWI2MR
「你頭先英文堂又發呆。」佢坐喺後座,把聲聽唔出喜怒,但一雙細手卻輕輕揪緊咗我腰間嘅衫,「老師叫你企起身讀課文,你口窒窒咁讀完。你個心到底喺度諗緊乜?由尋日開始就成個人都唔同咗。」
11Please respect copyright.PENANA9toAgt9aiQ
我心入面猛地一跳,揸住車把嘅手微微收緊。
11Please respect copyright.PENANAsiIQkbwoOU
我心入面諗緊乜?我心入面諗嘅全部都係你呀。
11Please respect copyright.PENANA9TjGCCUenp
我想起暗巷嗰晚,鐵通扑落嚟嗰陣,我腦入面第一個浮現嘅唔係老豆老母,而係佢企喺學校禮堂台上面嗰個樣——背脊挺直、眼神結冰、為咗我可以同全班惡霸宣戰。我想起如果我嗰日真係死喺巷入面,呢個世界上仲有邊個會好似我咁,將佢護喺身後,唔畀任何人用異樣嘅眼光去評判佢嘅高傲?
11Please respect copyright.PENANAjAv5q8RcaW
我都諗住,我哋已經十七歲喇。青梅竹馬四個字,就好似一條越行越窄嘅河,再行前一步,就係講唔清、道不明嘅男女之情。
11Please respect copyright.PENANA4Bb9by03Ux
但我唔敢開口。
11Please respect copyright.PENANAz6LQwc8NgZ
我係邊個?呂記雜貨店嘅窮小子,屋企成日充斥住柴米油鹽嘅味,老豆雖然平日和和氣氣,但真係打起交上嚟就係個唔要命嘅粗人。我身上仲流住嗰種隨時會被點着嘅瘋狗血。我行過雜貨店門口,見到老豆企喺度搬貨,雙手嘅老繭喺燈光下反晒光。我望住自己對手——同老豆一樣,第日都會係咁。我見過佢屋企嗰種書香門第嘅清高同體面,佢屋企嘅書房擺滿晒外文書同藝術品,嗰係另一個世界。
11Please respect copyright.PENANASmJiYIoZV1
佢呢種女仔,點可能跟我呢種人?
11Please respect copyright.PENANAPo2rJLfPga
我成日喺夜深人靜嘅時候諗,如果我同佢表白咗,萬一佢拒絕我呢?萬一佢只係當我係最好嘅哥哥、最好嘅保護傘呢?如果連層窗戶紙都捅穿咗之後,我哋連咁樣並肩踩單車嘅資格都冇埋,咁我寧願一世都做佢身邊嗰隻隨時準備咬人嘅瘋狗。至少,狗可以理所當然咁守喺主人身邊。
11Please respect copyright.PENANAPnzxNftIq1
「冇……冇諗咩。」我乾笑兩聲,掩飾住內心嘅慌亂,「就覺得英文嗰啲文法太深,聽到頭都暈。」
11Please respect copyright.PENANAT03eMtamPJ
身後沉默咗一陣。單車穿過最後一條老街嘅巷口,夕陽將我哋嘅影子拉得老長老長。
11Please respect copyright.PENANAg7r5lGpDET
陳詠賢冇即刻拆穿我。佢只係輕輕嘆咗一口氣,嗰啖氣吹喺我條頸上面,帶住溫熱嘅癢。
11Please respect copyright.PENANAhmjke5aBro
「呂浩然,你真係個大笨蛋。」佢低聲講,聲音入面帶住一絲連佢自己都冇察覺嘅幽怨同無奈。
11Please respect copyright.PENANAjLIYQJWOTY
我心頭一顫,車轆差啲壓到一粒石仔。我當然知道自己係個大笨蛋。如果唔係,我點會睇唔出佢每晚放學時故意行得比平時慢嘅腳步?點會聽唔出佢每一次問我「今晚有冇空去海旁行吓」嗰種隱隱嘅期待?
11Please respect copyright.PENANAReBLnsXU5X
佢其實都喺度等。等我呢個平日對外人兇狠、對佢卻懦弱到好似鵪鶉嘅笨蛋,親口將嗰句說話講出嚟。
11Please respect copyright.PENANAxjetmR4ZOo
「詠賢……」我張開嘴,將單車停喺陳家巷口嘅大榕樹下面。
11Please respect copyright.PENANAyg8bz9UzKD
樹影斑駁,落喺我同佢塊面上面。佢由單車後座輕巧咁跳落嚟,企喺我面前,校服裙襬隨住微風輕輕擺動。佢抬起頭,嗰對清澈而冷傲嘅眼眸入面,嗰一刻只係倒映住我一個人嘅身影。
11Please respect copyright.PENANA7H10xyFTC6
「咩事?」佢望住我,眼底入面藏住一絲連佢自己都喺度強行壓抑嘅緊張。嗰張平日對任何人都冷若冰霜嘅臉,嗰一刻竟然泛起一抹極淡嘅紅暈。
11Please respect copyright.PENANA70v8stu4TE
「我……」我望住佢微微抿起嘅嘴唇,心跳快到好似要撞出心口。嗰句說話就喺喉嚨口打轉,只要我吸多一口氣,就可以將「我鍾意你,我想照顧你一世」呢幾個字完整咁講出嚟。
11Please respect copyright.PENANAoYd1w8xQ6Y
周圍好靜,遠處傳來鄰居煮飯嘅鑊鏟聲同細路嘅嬉鬧聲,彷彿成個世界都靜晒,只係剩低我同佢急速嘅呼吸聲。
11Please respect copyright.PENANAb7pppz0yOk
然而,就喺我準備豁出去嗰一瞬間,腦海入面突然閃過嗰啲富二代嘲諷嘅嘴臉,閃過暗巷入面嗰啲冰冷嘅鐵棍,閃過我屋企嗰間連裝修都透着寒酸嘅雜貨店。
11Please respect copyright.PENANA5siSpcCkJf
我憑咩?
11Please respect copyright.PENANArCdKvCAFjm
佢企喺我面前,對眼仲望住我,等緊。佢唔知我等緊啲咩,但我知道佢喺度等我。我望住佢眼底入面嗰點光——嗰點由期望變緊張、由緊張變不安嘅光——然後我將句說話吞返落去。
11Please respect copyright.PENANAA805mKobjZ
「我……我係想講,今日功課好似幾多,你早啲返去溫書啦,唔好咁攰。」
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話到嘴邊,硬生生俾我吞返落去,變成咗呢句冇營養嘅叮囑。
11Please respect copyright.PENANAbvJ1pKJsx3
空氣好似喺呢一刻停咗幾秒。
11Please respect copyright.PENANAlhuRfUzNBm
陳詠賢眼底嗰抹紅暈同期待,以肉眼可見嘅速度黯淡落去。佢定定咁望住我,嗰種眼神入面冇憤怒,只有一種令人心碎嘅失望同無可奈何。佢長長嘅眼睫毛輕輕震咗一下,隨即又恢復咗嗰種拒人於千里之外嘅清冷。
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「哦。知道喇。」佢垂下眼簾,遮住眸入面嘅情緒,「你都早啲返去幫叔叔睇舖啦。」
11Please respect copyright.PENANAt4XMK8xzdK
講完,佢轉過身,頭也不回咁向屋企大門行去。佢行嗰陣,雙手揸實咗書包帶,指節有啲發白。單薄而倔強嘅背影,喺夕陽下顯得格外寂寥。
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望住佢推開鐵閘、行入屋入面,然後「嘭」一聲關上房門,我企喺大榕樹下面,真係想摑自己幾巴。
11Please respect copyright.PENANAqzeaQUcr07
呂浩然呀呂浩然,你平時對嗰班爛仔、對嗰啲敢郁佢一條頭髮嘅人狠到好似條瘋狗咁,點解到咗真正面對自己鍾意嘅人嗰陣,連個狗屁都不如?
11Please respect copyright.PENANAeYrbOPNoje
我喺榕樹下面企咗好耐,直到夜色徹底吞沒咗老街。街燈照常著咗,隔籬棟樓照常傳出電視聲——所有嘢都同平時一樣,但所有嘢都好似唔同咗。
11Please respect copyright.PENANAceSnVkl1KN
而喺屋入面嘅書桌前,陳詠賢同樣背靠住房門緩緩滑坐喺地板上面。佢將頭埋喺膝頭哥入面,雙手緊緊攬住自己,眼淚終於唔受控制咁流落嚟,沾濕咗校服嘅衣領。
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佢喺心裡面默默咬住嘴唇,帶住一絲倔強同委屈:
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「呢個傻仔……你幾時先明,我所有嘅例外同溫柔,都係為咗你一個?不過冇所謂……你仲要裝傻幾耐都得,我等。我呢一生,都只等你一個人開口。」
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夜風吹過老街,樹葉沙沙作響。我哋隔住一堵牆,各自喺心裡面許下咗嗰個沉甸甸嘅聽日。
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但佢哋唔知,呢個「聽日」,永遠都唔會到。11Please respect copyright.PENANAiPzoG3kfTA


