假日，我可以好好放鬆自己，但我通常會利用這個時間去打工，平日也會。
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ42EkY5TEDp
只是有點事情，拖延了很久。9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrY0XSdq076
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXGuD1QRZqm
我騎著腳踏車，到街上的一間小有名氣的餐館，我是應聘裏頭的內場洗碗員工，裡面也有個跟我同年紀的人。9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRYMXZsaA6Q
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9AiVnljZGb
我還記得她上次跟我搭話，碰到我時，對我那奇怪的反應很錯愕，雖然是大二的事情了。但我不曉得她還記不記得，應該要好好跟她說的......9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY2NGvyzkXC
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXfx0kDq11j
我走進餐館，穿好圍裙往後台走去。9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOZ99dbw1zu
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHiiU3vC4uM
那間餐館的內場工作沒有什麼變化，碗盤還是一樣多，水槽的水還是一樣溫熱。 9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgc28GPQHBQ
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnC6ZS3YPe8
反正也不用跟人接觸，做好這些事情就有錢拿，也還挺不錯。9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMqtev4NqY9
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ZPGVFkWRV
「落寧，你來啦。」那名女孩，我記得是叫 雨序。9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrsv7lzhje1
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZEaX2zkB8y
「嗯，剛到。」我點點頭，簡單回覆她後，便繼續轉頭洗碗。9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0WEaZE2Fi4
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwKlRydGFOm
我們做內場的有時候也要幫忙清理用具、環境，我跟她會分工合作，但還是會避免與她肢體接觸。 9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmkYwvuvX4q
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU3nU7ptmc4
「你最近還好吧？感覺你好像比之前更常發呆了。」雨序在旁邊的水槽邊洗東西邊問，語氣像是在聊今天天氣。 9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD8mSmSZMCr
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvWEzhjWlE3
我回過神來，才發現我拿著抹布站在原地。9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp4wHhzg6Y3
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCIPrtR6bBE
「沒什麼，只是沒睡好。」我隨便拿個理由糊弄過去。她也沒追問。9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtZOfxkpDSO
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbB4DshSRKW
到了休息時間，我拿起手機看訊息。9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKODuK2O6DG
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx9egCyU7Md
後予把我們幾人拉到了同一個群組。9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbBNGBtHADz
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZd6UCcFJPo
她傳了一張照片，是校園那隻貓躺在路中間的模樣。南程回了一個貓咪貼圖。謝淮安問：「假日有沒有空？要不要一起出去走走？順便討論一下報告。」 9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp7Fe6wCEAB
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyI2rIPdd35
我往下滑，看到雪生傳了一則訊息：「那間老幼共托機構旁邊有步道，可以去走走。」 9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqdi3Dp6nYH
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoPjPrZ4Rzc
後予回他說 「也要討論報告呢，去那邊走感覺沒地方。」9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCmlrNHcXd4
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU0YYBfDvhs
雪生只回了個兔子貼圖。9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVGVzLQCujg
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHraIPoWNIG
「不然去海邊玩?」准安提議。9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1TnCRks1kd
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcLD0ojg5iH
「感覺可以，但有地方討論嗎?」南程回他。9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsPHrGVUUx9
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡomeTAK271u
「帶幾張桌子過去阿。」9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡifSmuZaGlc
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJiheaM9iHJ
「你要帶嗎?」9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj3XRHJPiXF
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHxKZBA5YDj
「可以啊。」准安感覺不嫌麻煩欸。9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Bs3d7oKx0
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw2TRLzHQVJ
我將手機放回包包，反正也不甘我的事情。9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyWY7NmXRJJ
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMpG3xxB5jH
手機又響了。9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY69I3BVjer
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0g0984OV4F
「落寧，你也要來喔!」我點開就看到後予傳這個消息，沒有拒絕的餘地。9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX4rfiVZPHG
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvKVSYKlAlZ
「我也算在裡面嗎?」我很疑惑，我以為只有他們四個。9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEKTAqjNXcm
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlPVYsrZHDN
「當然喔，你不是也在我們群裡。」那我退出是不是就不用去了。9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyfxTtANx0n
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6SuiOCSMLh
我搖搖頭，拒絕他們感覺很不要臉，他們都如此好心的邀我了，我幹嘛拒絕?9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOAOADSI9oz
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp7wrUFfeRx
可是要去海邊欸......這樣豈不是......9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX5ERR8XBGQ
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjrRjYu5hHf
我偷偷私信後予，「去海邊可以不下水嗎，就是不穿泳裝之類的......」9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtx8rzXsuTe
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ10cmkNxfSs
總感覺有些害躁。9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr2DAOzeo86
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCacP7QEmFa
「可以不用阿，幹嘛專門問?可是我想看看寧寧的泳裝欸。」後予回完還傳一個OK的喵咪貼圖。9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkhhx6cCFa8
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPbEiD7J3Kc
好怪，而且幹嘛用疊字。9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLBTbuYjVNf
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV0CeXNr0cN
我摸了摸我的臉頰，盡然有些發燙。9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG02LJXwPif
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGlyFTOnP2x
「你不要這樣......」我回。9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6iSNTqyyf3
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFe8i275pI9
她只傳了個「mua!」的貼圖，真的有點......9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKTXC27gn0w
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFaFsA7f0iX
「所以落寧你要去喔!」這次換在群組敲我。9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBKmfOA8Egk
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLPx7WMFM00
「好。」我只簡單的回覆一個字。9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcRgRvksCsf
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ15lbrtH6Wz
我收起手機，抓了抓後腦勺。9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBI9YK7gphx
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwlgxfekiq3
休息時間結束之後，我跟雨序回到內場，繼續做各自的事情。她洗了一批碗盤，我負責擦乾和歸位。 9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSlKrHQ7H73
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEbLF7MNHTx
過了一會兒，她開口說：「你剛剛在看手機，是不是有約？」 9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ29eoLrquXa
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgl3FzDQZMa
我手上的動作停了一下，沒有想到她會注意到。 9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLMiyBcgQEo
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsXdy1GOf84
「……朋友約假日出去玩。」我說，聲音比我自己預期的還要小。 9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Oo5e0sBQL
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCEoOK79GzD
「那不是很好嗎？」她說，語氣像是在說一件很自然的事。 9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkxJDVsmtb8
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTMwhgrHpRf
我沒有馬上回答。她把洗好的碗盤放在旁邊，又補了一句：「你應該多出去走走。」 9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz0nGDduMMQ
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWLHAV4XHp5
我轉頭看了她一眼，她沒有看我，已經低下頭繼續洗下一個碗了。 9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3l43ccrGpg
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbFVn4f1Jds
「為甚麼這麼說?」我忍不住脫口而出。9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuGmKlwUJga
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ34tC6fRLN9
她只轉頭，對我輕輕笑了笑，我注意到，她眼神有往我的手腕看去。9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKk693PEaaV
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMht9Zqu2Xe
我下意識地將手蓋上去，她就只是靜靜的看了一下。9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡanNGPn1lBR
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvXbJgDLAHN
「多走走，看看世界的美好阿。」她丟下這句。9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGdWq7U0bbd
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj6q10bmnTR
我盯著她的眼睛，很哀傷，感覺正消化著甚麼事情。9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTvvML9WsY5
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtKNBRQ1orS
「有些事情不是單靠後天的改變就能完全遺忘。」我說。9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5SyyiDTNF3
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4TlGuGJPlA
她似乎嚇到了，沒有想到我會繼續說。9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWWtso6JpUp
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZEklHzqBJ7
「是嗎?有些事情沒有絕對喔，難不成單靠消耗自己就能嗎。」她笑了一下，繼續回頭洗碗。9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxklwxmjoTK
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdftVq9GlJm
她不懂我的苦衷，怎麼會知道我的掙扎呢?9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwYEpftIIiA
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnmkRrVKORU
但是阿，她感覺跟我是同類人呢。9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAyzBfYobfZ
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWPYeO78QpE
說不上來為甚麼，就是用感覺得。 9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLHzDJ5jqmt
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGjYlMirzKx
過了一陣子，雨序又開口了，聲音比剛才輕了一點：「我以前也覺得自己不夠好，不值得被人好好對待。」 9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6RYtvgXP5H
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoXTIjvd7ZO
我沒有回話，手上的動作也沒有停下來。 9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8sc5NVEZp3
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRKovkald2z
「後來有人跟我說了一句話，我才慢慢開始相信不是那樣的。」她說。 9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH0ByXEGw91
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFepUjMvkv8
「他當時跟我說，你可以先靠近自己。」她笑了，笑容很勉強。9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv6Xu7z4wgp
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡperoXrACsS
我安靜了一陣子，手上的動作沒有停下來，但我的聲音還是開了：「那你現在靠近自己了嗎？」 9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiOjG0P31HP
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFnA29D2rst
雨序的手頓了一下，像是沒有想到我會問這個。她看著水槽裡的水，過了一下才說：「還在靠近。不過比以前近很多了。」 9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkLXnFmWPNP
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡufBuBW08RJ
我沒有回話。只是繼續擦乾手上的碗盤，把它放進櫃子裡。 9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuuyj594nZs
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ69qX45DFAP
過了一會兒，我說：「我不知道怎麼靠近自己。」9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCOsP9sbbJd
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWoICy9MvwW
雨序轉頭看了我一眼，沒有馬上回答。她把手上的水甩了甩，像是想了一下，才說：「那你今天來這裡工作，就已經是一種靠近了。」 9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeXryYNquOK
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡABSeSHJWYQ
我沒有回話，但手上的動作稍微停頓了一下。9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTWexVgiRGa
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1KoJCTWDXF
下班的時候，天色還沒有完全暗下來。我把圍裙脫掉，掛回架上，跟雨序說了一聲：「我先走了。」9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd8zeE4UN4h
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhXyAFqe3Iw
「嗯，路上小心。」她說，聲音比剛才輕鬆一些。 9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBlOK0javK5
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPedkUL8hGE
我走出餐館，牽起腳踏車，慢慢往住處的方向騎。 9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA23kZbi4d6
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1QZmKIlmsU
那句話還在腦袋裡轉：「靠近自己，就是慢慢來，不用一次全部做完。」9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTagqg9y9dH
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNJl8yQLT0Y
我騎得很慢，沒有趕時間，也沒有特別在想什麼。只是讓那句話待在那裡。9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrVeNdxlHcy
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG14VMhjIkD
回到住處之後，我洗了澡，換上寬鬆的居家服，坐在書桌前。我打開手機，看了一眼群組。後予又傳了一張貓咪照片。9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6CnG2W4QGh
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡskKksoCTjp
她真的很喜歡貓欸，我發現這好像不是校園的那一隻。9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRgZHeiPjxl
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyThEKD7p39
我往下滑，看到後予在群組裡傳了時間和地點：「明天早上九點，校門口集合，遲到的人請飲料。准安家會開車載人。」 9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsxZWAa2lSb
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaifVMEsOCi
南程回了一個「收到」，謝淮安傳了一個「沒問題」的貼圖。雪生沒有回，但我看到他已讀了。 9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7hfzMTh6Fl
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4rzQvyCG7M
我把手機放在桌上，沒有回訊息，但我也沒有把對話框刪掉。過了一陣子，我關掉手機，站起來去關燈。 9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9S5DFlh9KK
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtk49HKTSDb
結果就在明天阿，也太快了吧。9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡatuhjTYrfi
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe1WxsYbOTh
我關了燈，躺回床上。天花板還是那道橘黃色的路燈光，跟平常一樣。 9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOyoj4sRhpT
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHoSemDK9uQ
明天要去海邊。跟他們一起。 9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDr51eGulre
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLNI8T8WUGo
我在床上翻了一下身，想著明天要穿什麼。我衣櫃裡的衣服沒有幾件，應該說，我很少買新衣服。大部分都是深色的、素面的、不會讓人多看一眼的那種。 9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Mi2vdSEXh
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIxg4UPMvJa
我坐起來，打開衣櫃看了一下，又關上。還是想不到要穿什麼。反正只是去海邊，應該不用穿太正式吧？而且我也不會下水。 9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡesRHiVm01s
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrJs2hs8q1h
我把棉被拉高一點，閉上眼睛。 9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtcHX04KytW
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuiX1JO7dh4
明天再說吧。
9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxwTdW7ylCh
and then Add to home screen.