From the darkest of places to finally see the light

learning all about life love feelings loss and how to deal with all these things. As most my family and friends know I'm currently suffering with a mental illness depression/anxiety trying to deal with all of these normal things in life feels impossible and doesn't seem how hard you try things just seem to not get better. After the upbringing of my childhood and the traumatic loss of my mother to suicide when I was at the age of 12 life didn't seem to be all the great, changing schools always moving houses it was very unsettling and by the end I had given up on trying to fit in with society. As I got to the age of 14 I started abusing alcohol and drugs which lead me down a very dark long road to the age of 25 when I almost tried to take my own life by over indulging in these substances to a change in life when I had an out of body experience it was like I was watching myself from the back corner of the room thinking what are you doing to yourself seing a roll of photos and memories to come back to the next day felt like I had been stuck in a bubble my whole life and I couldn't understand anything.

To this day I'm still trying my hardest with all my heart to work through these things life has given to me , going to see councilours Taking medication talking to the people who love and care about me it still doesn't feel any easier it still feels impossible.

I feel that this topic is still to this day one of the hardest things for people to voice out and talk about. All the criticism off the world of people who don't understand and have never had to deal with themselves is the most hurtful feeling to us that suffer I'm sure the majority of sufferers would agree with me on this.

I want to share this with the world in hope to help or inspire others with this terrible disease if this may help as little as 1 or thousands it has deffinately helped me .

I want you all to know its ok to feel like this and I do believe there is a light at the end of the road and we can all be free from these feelings of worthligness weak and uncapable of achieving day to day things and most of all feeling normal and that we do fit in this world.

I want to make this clear for my family and friends this is not a cry out for help I'm not doing this for attention and I don't want you to pick up your phones cause your worried. I want to share this with as many people as I can in hope to make others see that it is ok to talk and no one should feel affraid or ashamed to admit that they are suffering. To all the blokes out there speak up and don't think twice about it we have feelings too I'm giving this my all and I will never give up.

Thanks aaron webling

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