我做了一個夢,在夢裡,我被拋棄,在一個像是宇宙一樣寬廣又像是牙縫一樣狹小的空間裡哭泣,在那裡,除了死者的聲音什麼都沒有:沒有空氣、沒有呼吸、沒有流動的血液。1306Please respect copyright.PENANAn4R28YDgzA
1306Please respect copyright.PENANAvho1JfMdkh
好幾次我試著回想自己是否真正愛過誰,但是記憶背叛我,甚至不願意替我捏造出這樣一個人,就連生我愛我照顧我的父母親,我都不曾愛過嗎?1306Please respect copyright.PENANAdEKvK4yhrz
1306Please respect copyright.PENANAPSG7SCtyKF
每一次醒來,我會拼命的抓緊身邊的感覺:恐懼、不安還有窒息感。1306Please respect copyright.PENANAcZm6gDXtyH
1306Please respect copyright.PENANAMgWkqlpJSE
而最令我看到不快的,是這根本不是什麼惡夢,而是我現實人生的寫照。我是一個空殼子,是零,沒有愛沒有恨,什麼都沒有,我虛弱無力的腦袋沒辦法製造如此強烈的情緒,這點卻讓我恐懼。1306Please respect copyright.PENANAXscMqrgYEu
1306Please respect copyright.PENANAJMWxvQcvJk
這樣真的夠了嗎?夠我活下去嗎?又夠我去死嗎?是不是曾經有人剜出了我的心,然後把我丟在這裡?空虛的呼吸?1306Please respect copyright.PENANAft765WWukW
1306Please respect copyright.PENANAHZAoCuWozA
一個人死的原因只有「活不下去」和「沒有理由活」這兩個選項嗎?會不會,是發現自己其實不該被定義為人呢?創世主,祂搞錯了,做出了了一個沒有靈魂的人,所以消失才能矯正這個世界。1306Please respect copyright.PENANAItiAwSwNuv
1306Please respect copyright.PENANAFpaLX8Am6w
「這就是原因,媽媽。」我雙手環抱著母親比我瘦弱的身軀,缺乏想像力的我不知道她臉上現在是什麼神情。神哪,一次也好,不能讓我觸摸一次愛嗎?一次?1306Please respect copyright.PENANAXyfZDGe1xy
1306Please respect copyright.PENANAC73kNUgYZf
淚水浸濕了我的衣服,母親哭了,她不知道怎麼反駁我,她聽不明白我在說什麼,她太愛我了,這使她愚笨而看不清真相,她是生出缺陷兒的母親,本身就是個缺陷。1306Please respect copyright.PENANArbSbDiObM9
1306Please respect copyright.PENANAIz3R7xQzbA
「再見。」我摸摸手腕上那些毫無理由出現的傷疤,紅紅的,微微凸起,撫摸的方式幾乎就像是懷舊一般「懷舊是死亡的副作用」我想起我曾在一本書讀到的這句話,嘴角漾起笑容,將重心向前傾。1306Please respect copyright.PENANAxGLXUSPzRo
1306Please respect copyright.PENANA5VoSCCMLEL
沒有靈魂的人不能死,我只是消逝了。
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奇怪的夢
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2nd
奇怪的夢
Published:
May 27, 2017
ENTRY #11
如此這般的我夢見自己消失了
Author:
貓繪子
Published:
May 27, 2017
1 Min Read
0 Words
LIKES 5
READS 1302
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